I know this was supposed to be a light-hearted read, but there are three very important resources everyone should know about (all are public and free):
1. Your state’s Department of Corrections website. I believe almost every state in the U.S. has now gone online with inmate and arrest records. You can find out if your potential boo has ever been arrested and/or convicted of a crime and the general details.
2. Sex Offender Registry. Very important – especially if you have children. You should know that there are men on these sites who specifically target single mothers just to get near their children. A good tip is to not mention your children at all in your profile – save that information for people you are actually interested in and are conversing one-on-one with.
3. Your County Clerk’s Office. There you can find out lots of information about this person – such as marital status (marriage records and divorce proceedings), home ownership, money judgements and other liens.
Be safe ladies. I read somewhere that 30% of men on dating websites are married. Add to that the number that are in what should be monogamous relationships, and what you have is a pool of men where at least half are ineligible.
I love a woman who does her homework. The state corrections office is stop # Numero Uno! I wouldn’t pay for those sites that give you info cause they always get an e-mail notifying them as of who is searching for them.
But I really do appreciate the in-depth advice you gave. It might just save a life.
Seriously, it is not that hard to do your homework thanks to the internet. Google is your friends ladies (and gents). And keep your legs closed until you have done your homework. It should be like a dissertation…your info needs to vetted over a pretty long period of time to make sure it is valid.
Of course, I’m never sure about people who ignore red flags like never going to someone’s home (clearly not safe if you’ve just met but something that should eventually happen), never meeting anyone from the person’s life, and getting called, texted, emailed at odd times.
I mean, someone who wants to pull a full con with a second life that seems full enough to trick a person with regular common sense should have to really invest a lot of time, money(as in a second home or apartment), and effort to fool you, unless you just WANT to be fooled.
I think a LOT of involved men play around on the internet b/c the barrier to entry is so low, and people use aliases on those sites.
If you asked me this question 8 years ago, I would have said, “No way! That’s wrong!”, and a whole bunch of other rose-coloured glasses phrases. Then I watched one of my best friends get emotionally abused and betrayed by a p.o.s. boyfriend. Said p.o.s. was already in a relationship (and was expecting a child) while he fooled my friend and the group for almost 3 years; his name was the only honest thing he ever told us. My friend was devastated when it came came out, and I was ready to kill him. >_<
The point is folks lie. Men lie. Women lie. People lie. If you can check them out before hand, please do so – both with on-line and real-time dating.
Ahhh!! This JUST happened to me. Recently got into online dating. Met a cool guy a week ago..had a GREAT phone convo..met for coffee the next day and hit it off really well. Couldn’t remember what his last name was…so I decided to research using his phone #. Luckily, his name is quite unique so my search yielded some good results. Turned out this dude is married (or perhaps divorced) with 2 children under 5. Saw how much his house cost..saw that he and his wife (ex wife??) are listed as residents of the house…saw his wife’s old twitter page (that’s how I found out about the children and such).
I basically found out all of this b/c of his unique name…superadvanced academic achievements, linkedin info, etc. This would have been a lot harder had his name been john smith or something.
Snooping, in a security context, is unauthorized access to another person’s or company’s data. The practice is similar to eavesdropping but is not necessarily limited to gaining access to data during its transmission. Snooping can include casual observance of an e-mail that appears on another’s computer screen or watching what someone else is typing.
OMG! I tried the local tax assessment websites! Caught a few people lying about home ownership! Lol! Thank you so much!
LMAO!!!
I know this was supposed to be a light-hearted read, but there are three very important resources everyone should know about (all are public and free):
1. Your state’s Department of Corrections website. I believe almost every state in the U.S. has now gone online with inmate and arrest records. You can find out if your potential boo has ever been arrested and/or convicted of a crime and the general details.
2. Sex Offender Registry. Very important – especially if you have children. You should know that there are men on these sites who specifically target single mothers just to get near their children. A good tip is to not mention your children at all in your profile – save that information for people you are actually interested in and are conversing one-on-one with.
3. Your County Clerk’s Office. There you can find out lots of information about this person – such as marital status (marriage records and divorce proceedings), home ownership, money judgements and other liens.
Be safe ladies. I read somewhere that 30% of men on dating websites are married. Add to that the number that are in what should be monogamous relationships, and what you have is a pool of men where at least half are ineligible.
I love a woman who does her homework. The state corrections office is stop # Numero Uno! I wouldn’t pay for those sites that give you info cause they always get an e-mail notifying them as of who is searching for them.
But I really do appreciate the in-depth advice you gave. It might just save a life.
Seriously, it is not that hard to do your homework thanks to the internet. Google is your friends ladies (and gents). And keep your legs closed until you have done your homework. It should be like a dissertation…your info needs to vetted over a pretty long period of time to make sure it is valid.
Of course, I’m never sure about people who ignore red flags like never going to someone’s home (clearly not safe if you’ve just met but something that should eventually happen), never meeting anyone from the person’s life, and getting called, texted, emailed at odd times.
I mean, someone who wants to pull a full con with a second life that seems full enough to trick a person with regular common sense should have to really invest a lot of time, money(as in a second home or apartment), and effort to fool you, unless you just WANT to be fooled.
I think a LOT of involved men play around on the internet b/c the barrier to entry is so low, and people use aliases on those sites.
If you asked me this question 8 years ago, I would have said, “No way! That’s wrong!”, and a whole bunch of other rose-coloured glasses phrases. Then I watched one of my best friends get emotionally abused and betrayed by a p.o.s. boyfriend. Said p.o.s. was already in a relationship (and was expecting a child) while he fooled my friend and the group for almost 3 years; his name was the only honest thing he ever told us. My friend was devastated when it came came out, and I was ready to kill him. >_<
The point is folks lie. Men lie. Women lie. People lie. If you can check them out before hand, please do so – both with on-line and real-time dating.
Ahhh!! This JUST happened to me. Recently got into online dating. Met a cool guy a week ago..had a GREAT phone convo..met for coffee the next day and hit it off really well. Couldn’t remember what his last name was…so I decided to research using his phone #. Luckily, his name is quite unique so my search yielded some good results. Turned out this dude is married (or perhaps divorced) with 2 children under 5. Saw how much his house cost..saw that he and his wife (ex wife??) are listed as residents of the house…saw his wife’s old twitter page (that’s how I found out about the children and such).
I basically found out all of this b/c of his unique name…superadvanced academic achievements, linkedin info, etc. This would have been a lot harder had his name been john smith or something.
Snooping, in a security context, is unauthorized access to another person’s or company’s data. The practice is similar to eavesdropping but is not necessarily limited to gaining access to data during its transmission. Snooping can include casual observance of an e-mail that appears on another’s computer screen or watching what someone else is typing.