That just can’t get it together. In some families it’s that uncle that just can’t keep a job. It’s always the “man” keeping him down. He has no real goals in life and at 50 years old he still lives at home with his mother. He’s the uncle you call when you need a paint job for cheap, or he’s the uncle who calls you when he needs to borrow $10. Or, it’s the sister that’s on her third baby-daddy. Is more concerned with going to a party, than she is the welfare of her children. The antics offered by these family members always keeps the dynamics interesting.

There’s the German proverb, “blood is thicker than water”, but what happens when those family members rather turn to being dependent than self-sufficient? No one wants to leave a family member hanging, at least not in my family. My immediate family will go out of their way to help one another, but they will also cut you off if they feel that you’re taking advantage of them. When the cut-off comes, it’s definitely not easy to get back into good graces.

Encouraging dependent family members isn’t always the easiest thing to do. Some people are so stuck in their ways and usually find it easier to leech off the hard work of others. Occasionally, tough love could be the answer the answer. I remember one instance in particular when I was around nineteen, my mother showed me her version of tough love and it definitely snapped me out of my moment of dependency. It was definitely a rude awakening and something that changed me for the better.

Tough love isn’t the easiest thing to show a family member but sometimes it’s a necessity. How tough love is perceived is a different story. Regardless of the good intentions behind it, occasionally it can be perceived as something negative, but you can only hope in the long run that the person recognizes that it wasn’t.

Have you experienced the dependent family member? How did you handle the situation?

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  • girl hell naw! i had a family member who asked to sleep over for the weekend because he had a job interview in our area…tell me why he then started moving all his stuff into our house and stayed for 3 years.. but hes family so *eye roll* oh he also moved his 2 kids in,made us buy his kids stuff,and he quit his job once he moved in…how convenient. -_-

  • hello

    For me its my adult step daughter she is a triflin nasty stank heffa with three kids that she keeps as nasty as her with dirty weave and a pissy house. I cut her butt off last year after she stiffed me on a bill and refused to give my deposit back. Her father didn’t cuss her out enough so I cussed her triflin azz out put my foot in her azz and got her locked up when she damaged property in my home. I cussed my husband out and told him if he bailed her out or bought her back to this house he could pack his stuff and get the hell out. Her mama is just as triflin and I put a restraining order on her after I put my foot in her azz. I hate leeches. Hubby no longer coddles or caters to them and he says he’s happier now that he is not dealing with their bs and drama.

  • Starla

    All of the comments sound so extreme. I have a family member who is dependent, but it is more on the lighter side.

    • Shar

      yea, it happens