Too Pretty to be Approached
We’ve all seen that woman. She walks in the club and jaws drop. She struts down the street like it’s a catwalk. She turns the heads of men and women. They’re not just staring at her bangin’ body—it’s her face. She’s gorgeous. Not just pretty or cute, but Drop. Dead. Gorgeous. The type of woman you could stare at forever.
But is she approachable?
Some women argue they’re not. Their “problem” is that they’re too beautiful. Too stunning. The men are too intimidated or afraid of being shot down. Or they’re fearful that a woman that hot has to have an ice-cold attitude.
If you think that’s the reason he’s not approaching you, there’s a good chance you’re wrong.
One of the greatest indicators that men aren’t afraid to approach gorgeous women is seen everyday. We’ve all noticed the couples who don’t seem equally yoked on the attractive meter. You see them walking down the street and just scratch your head. Or maybe it’s your BFF who you think is a certified stunner— and is dating a man who’s, well, uh, not too handsome. Since some women still have hang-ups about approaching men, I’m assuming that, in the majority of these cases, the men stepped to these women.
Measuring someone’s attractive quotient is completely arbitrary. Even the most beautiful girl in the world is someone’s “average.” Maybe you think you’re an absolute 10 and others tend to agree, but there’s someone who inevitably thinks you’re nice to look at, but not damn-she’s-fine material. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m sure there’s a man out there (somewhere?) who thinks Halle Berry is just OK. One man’s 10 is another’s 6 or 7.
“But men are afraid I’ll reject them.”
Rejection is never easy to handle it, but men have been dealing with it since adolescence. They face it on a daily basis, but that’s never stopped them from trying to holler. Is the rejection pill harder to swallow if it comes at the hands of a gorgeous woman? I’m going with no. I would think a man would be more offended or ego-crushed if a less than attractive woman spurned his advances. Some men even specifically aim for nothing but dimes. They know these women are out of their league, but keep swinging away with the hope that one will bite.
And if a man tells you he was afraid to talk to you because you’re so beautiful, that probably falls into the category of #liesmentell. Well, it’s not a complete lie. Just something he probably said to flatter you. Maybe he was initially in awe, but he got over it and got up the nerve to open his mouth. He may have been nervous. Maybe he even second guessed himself. But the “I’m too beautiful” reasoning is just as ridiculous as when a woman says that men don’t approach her because they’re “intimidated by my success.”
A confident, mature man will approach a woman, or at least give a smile of interest. If you’re convinced someone’s not going to approach you (for whatever reason) they’re probably going to live up to your expectations.
Weigh in Clutchettes, do you think men are intimidated by gorgeous women? Would you be afraid to approach a Boris Kodjoe type handsome man?
- Patrice J. Williams



As an average looking, but fat, man, I can say for a fact that when I was single, getting turned down by a really pretty woman was no big deal. It was average or maybe below average rebuffs that got my self confidence down. That said, I did not swing for the fences too often. I only did it when something told me that the woman might be interested in me. No one wants to look like a loser constantly barking up the wrong tree.
I also agree with the writer that no woman is a 10 to every man. I don’t know how many times I have seen beautiful women do or say things that totally turned me off. In some cases, I simply can’t see what is so cute about the woman that everyone else is going on about.
re: unevenly yoked in attractiveness – There is a lot to be said for someone being mentally attractive. I have dated plenty of physically attractive men who couldn’t hold a conversation to save their lives. I’m working on a doctorate, and having someone who is on my mental level is the most important thing in a relationship. I’d go for the less hot guy who can engage my brain than a hottie with zero substance any day.
this!
The older I get, the more this becomes my truth!
dirtychai!! You are my inspiration for a cup of vanilla chai at DD this morning!!
I would NOT have a problem approaching a Borisesque man, why? I am NOT attracted to pretty bois, in the least. In the same vein, if Borisesque asked me out on a date, I would not have a problem turning him down. Probably I have mental issues that need resolving but to me, they are like walking mannequins. They are just a turn off completely. I like them ugly [not to be confused with Jay-Z, or Flavor Flave ugly] and refined! My ex, iwas NOT the business but his personality WAS the business. LMAO!
Yes, men are intimidated. It’s hard being this beautiful.