Transracial Adoption- Should Parents Be Required To Take Classes Before Adopting Children Of Other Ethnic Backgrounds?
In 6th grade I had a very close friend named Parminder, I think we both got along because we were quiet and kept to ourselves. The one thing that always intrigued me about Parminder, was the contrast between her skin tone and hair. She had the blackest hair I had ever seen, and her skin was the color of copper. It was rare occurrence for Parminder and I to see each other outside of school, but one day she invited me over to her house. When I walked into her house, I expected to see parents that looked just like her, but I saw two very blond hair and blue-eyed people and that’s when it dawned on me that Parminder was adopted. Being the nosey kid I was, when I asked her about it, she told me she was from India and was adopted when she was 2 yrs old. I didn’t think anything about it until I was listening to the news these past couple of days.
In recent news, The Multi-Ethnic Placement Act (MEPA) has been questioned in regards to transracial adoption practices and procedures. Basically the MEPA prohibits race from being considered a factor in most decisions about adoption from foster care. Whether you’re black or white, you’ll go through the same adoption training as someone who wants to adopt a child from their own race. Statistics show that there is a larger number of minority children in the foster care system compared to white children.
Personally, I believe that it shouldn’t matter who adopts these children, as long as they’re given a chance to get out of the ‘system’, but I do feel that if a couple does venture out to adopt a child or another ethnicity, there should be some type of ‘ethnic’ & cultural sensitivity training involved. I think these children should be able to live in an environment that provides the child an opportunity to participate in positive experiences with their culture, religion, and language. A child should be able to interact with parents who have an understanding what it feels like for the child to look different from their parent and also to have a parent that has knowledge of special dietary, skin, hair, and health care needs. Although there are private organizations who take part in similar trainings, I think this should be mandatory and State funded initiatives.
One incident in particular that I remember was how Parminder would always lotion herself up throughout the day at school and she would never want to play outside when it was really sunny. When I asked her why, she always said she didn’t want to become darker and since the lotion was white, she would hope that it would change her to a lighter color, so that she could match her family.
When I look back at the years of friendship I had with Parminder, I can see where her parents failed her. She wasn’t taught anything about her Indian culture, she thought because her skin was darker than her parents and siblings that something was wrong. It wasn’t until we attended college at Rutgers University, which has a large Indian population, that she was able to learn and appreciate her culture and embrace it. I would hope that children that are involved in transracial adoptions are taught their history, culture & the ability to embrace their differences and to be proud of who they are.
I don’t believe that people who are adopting children from different countries or of different races and ethnicities should have to take any sort of “culture training” class. If they want to adopt a child LET them adopt a child if their background check checks out as safe.
Parent’s should to teach them about successful people who look like them and that’s it.
The same people who write articles like this will be frowning their noses over a parent who treats their adopted Indian child too much “like an Indian”. It’s called MICROAGGRESSIONS.
Despite this author believing that it was her friend being adopted by white parents who made her want to be light skin, the truth is colorism is EVERYWHERE. If you go to India they have bleaching creams EVERYWHERE, actual commercials about bleaching airing on TV!
The whole “stay out of the sun warning” is issued in plenty of communities of color!
So parents should teach their children SELF CONFIDENCE. And I have seen plenty of people of color saying things to their colored children that causes self-hate and colorism!
EVERYONE should have to take a classes before having children.
I worked at a child center and parents there who adopted (whether their child was the same race or different) were amazing parents because they struggled to have child for whatever reason.
Then I saw a lot of parents who didn’t adopt they took their children for granted, and were just not good parents in general.
And there are plenty of adoptive parents who are bad parents and plenty of biological parents who are not good parents. Your second two sentences (implying that adoptive parents are “better”) contradict your first statement (that everyone can do better). It doesn’t help anyone to imply that there is a hierarchy of parenting.
I guess I should rephrase my statement since Im implying theres a “hierarchy or parenting”
Because a lot of the adoptive parents experienced a lot of heartbreak trying to conceive or adopt and since they experienced that heartbreak they treated their children like glass figurines which caused behavior problems. Ive also seen this behavior with couples who had trouble conceiving and finally did
Then there were a good number of “natural” parents who took their children for granted. They snapped at them, were always late picking them up and walked too fast for them to keep up. Which also can cause behavior problems.
I read a great book over the summer called ‘Color Blind’ by Precious Williams. It is an autobiography of a black woman of Nigerian descent who was raised by a white foster family in the UK. Despite the love and nurturing she received from her foster family, as she grew up she dealt with issues of racism and a racial identity that her family members just couldn’t relate to and understand. Even within they family, there was subtle racial insensitivity and ignorance. It’s a good read, especially for those who think that race doesn’t matter when it comes to transracial parenting.
There was a documentary on Netflix, I forget the name of it at the moment, but it was similiar to this experience. It was about a black girl in NYC that was adopted by a Jewish family. She had the same experiences and needed to find herself and her own identity as a young black girl.