What’s Your Biggest First Date Fear?

by Yesha Callahan

For two weeks I had to listen to a friend lament about a date that was two weeks away. It was a case of the butterflies gone bad, horribly bad. She met this guy on a flight to Canada, and they immediately hit it off. Before the end of the flight, cards were exchanged, cheesy smiley photos were taken on each of their cameras, and a long lingering hug was shared after the plane landed. Immediate plans were made to meet in a mutual city for a date. Every day, they spoke on the phone, texted, Facebooked, and e-mailed. You’d think the hardest part was already accomplished, since they spent a 4 hour flight together.

A week before the date, she panicked. She couldn’t figure out what to pack, what to wear the night of the date, how to fix her hair, what color to paint her toes. Honestly, I was trying my hardest not to tell her to “STFU.” The only reason why I didn’t was because I’ve experienced first date jitters, lots of times.

A first date can go a few ways. Either A) There is an attraction (whether physical or mental) or B) There isn’t. But, sometimes it’s not always so cut and dry. Depending on the type of date, lets say the movies (not a good type, BTW), you can’t always get a feel of the person. Sure, you can immediately tell if you’re physically attracted to a person, unless you’re blind. But, it’s hard to gauge a person’s personality while watching a movie and shoving popcorn in your mouth.

I often wonder if men experience first date jitters or fears. Do they stand in their mirror wondering, “What if she doesn’t like me?”, or “What if these pants are too tight?”, “Is my shape-up on point?”

My friend eventually had her first date with Mr. Mile High, and it went off without a hitch. They enjoyed each other’s company and have been dating consistently ever since. I still take a jab at her every now and then about how nervous she was, but it happens.

Have you ever experienced first date jitters? What were they about/How did you overcome them?

  • Rue

    I have dating lists dearhearted. How long ya got?
    Fear-Fear list:
    Chauvinist Pig
    Social Conservative/Republican
    That oment when you reach and can’t remember if you left the blasted iron on.
    Blind date fear list:
    he turns out to be a serial killer, has a creepy stare that burns into my soouuuul…..
    he is fat-dont do anyone who jiggles
    he is bald, white, sweating profusely, a la zach galafinakis
    he is a wanna be rapper/musician and starts banging on the table and asking for audience participation

    Date-date love List:
    He speaks a foreign language especially Romance (those tongue roll+my dirty mind=giggles and good time for date *wink,wink*)
    He is smart, and funny.
    He is tall and slender
    He does not have mach hang-ups

    My I-know-I’m-crazy-but keep hope alive list:
    He is Jon stewart (seriously, I am really perving on Stewart on this blog…gotta keep that in check)
    He is Thierry Henry(fav soccer player eva)
    He is Elmo-Don’t judge! I am more than happy with a chaste date with my wonderful darling. He can sing, we can dance, he can teach me how to laugh like himm….( Ummm what was this article about again?)

    Full Disclaimer: Clear, bubbly liquid in ma cup ain’t sprite so take this as you wish LOL

  • Chillyroad

    Boogers, bad breathe, or bad shoes.

  • Houston

    That She’ll look more like Freddie Jackson than Janet Jackson.

  • JC

    As a guy, I can deal with problems with the girl, if it is really not working out, I can just say that and end the night early or politely ride out the date. What scares me is:

    1. Finishing the meal and realizing that I forgot my wallet or worst, the magnet strip in my card is damaged so the card doesn’t work. (I’ll always bring back up cash to a date).
    2. Taking a short nap before the date and sleeping through it.
    3. Unbeknownst to me, getting food poisoning the morning/afternoon before the date then experiencing the symptoms during the date. (Happened to me in class during class in high school)

  • African Mami

    Yap, my first official date way back in the day. Now, I really don’t care. I’m just like, this who I am, take it or leave it. I’m here to have a grand old good time, and I hope in the process we connect!

    -Humor HELPS a lot!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/doglover59 Derek Collinson

    I think the best way to avoid first date nerves is to get to know the person online first using the video chat feature on sites such as attracion.com, doglover.biz and thirdagedating.com. Saves a lot of time, money and disappointment because what you see on video chat is what you get in the flesh!

  • tee

    Lol reminds me of my first date with my ex. I was really nervous & kinda anctious because we had been chatting a little & I was hoping he would be a wonderful surprise since I thought he was all bad boy. But it turned out great & I was giving him my ‘please kiss me now’ face ‘coz this attraction is killing me’ at the end of the date hahaha! And yes he was a gentleman so he gave me a goodnight peck.

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