You Don’t Have Haters – Maybe People Genuinely Don’t Like You
Haters has to be one of the most overused words ever. Every time I see someone use the word hater, I cringe. I cringe because I’m probably sure they don’t have haters in the literal sense. They have delusions of having haters. Jesus had haters. Martin Luther King, Jr. had haters. You probably have people who genuinely don’t like you.
Everyone has people who dislike them for some reason or another. Sometimes those reasons are valid, sometimes they’re not. Maybe they don’t like you because of a sour attitude. Or, maybe you’re a little too boastful. No one likes a bragger. Maybe you’re the type of person that doesn’t listen to another person’s opinion. No one likes a close minded person. There’s tons of reason why a person may not like you. So what do you do about it? What do you do about these haters?
Some people choose to bask in their ‘haters’. They wear them like a badge of honor. Having ‘haters’ for some reason makes them feel more important. You’ve seen these people. Every other tweet or Facebook status is, “F* all my haters”, or “Haters don’t want to see me shine”, or “Haters only make me stronger”. I laugh at these people. Only because they’re reinforcing why people genuinely dislike them.
I’m pretty sure I have a few people who genuinely don’t like me. But instead of yelling about all of my “haters”, I try to get to the core of the matter. What I like to do is approach these people who don’t like me and ask a simple question. Why? Usually, when you approach someone who dislikes you, and ask them why, they’ll give you a befuddled look. Then they’ll take a second to think of the reason why. After they come up with an answer, and decide to share it, I politely tell them thank-you and walk away.
Knowing the reason why people genuinely dislike you is helpful. If it’s a concrete reason, say they think you have a nasty attitude, you may have to do some introspection to see if they could be onto something. Sometimes people can see things you can’t see about yourself. Those “haters” may be the most beneficial people in your life. A “hater” can be a catalyst for change, if only you choose to change of course, but then again, no one likes a stubborn person.
How would you feel if someone gave an honest reason(s) why they didn’t like you?
I *hate* that whenever you don’t like something you’re automatically a called a hater, even if you have a legit reason. For example, I don’t like Lil’ Wayne, b/c he’s hugely untalented and misogynistic to boot. You say that out loud and wait for it. “Why you hating!” I’m not. There’s just no cognitive thought anymore. Everyone’s a “hater” whether or not they actually hate the thing in question.
But one part of the “hate creed” is true. No matter what you do, somebody isn’t going to like it. If no one has questioned what you’re doing, it’s because you aren’t doing anything. But those people who dont’t even have a job or a degree, talking ’bout “my haters are my motivators” are delusional.
I also abhor the term hater and like you stated most folks misuse that word to umpteenth power.
However some people actually do have haters *cringe*.
The difference being, say I don’t care for someone’s personality, generally they are ignored or simply tolerated in whatever capacity you might have to deal with them, like a coworker, but a hater will act, taking things a step futher, with action, like slandering someone for instance.
A true hater invests alot of energy, emotion and time preoccupied with the object of their affections, (oftentimes it’s jealousy oand/or insecurity mixed with admiration LOL), and will act upon their negative emotions, whereas if you just don’t like a person they are ignored and all you give them is indifference.
I’ve always thought that the overuse of “hater” is a sign of ignorance and immaturity. Also, people that are working diligently everyday to reach their highest potential don’t have time to worry about their “haters”. They are too busy trying to reflect upon themselves and get better everyday.
While I do believe that there are people who are truly “haters,” and I do believe that there are people who are “hated on” for reasons beyond bragging or a poor personality, I also believe that if someone has “haters” that they shouldn’t put any energy towards them. If I actually had “haters” then I wouldn’t put them on blast to let them know that they have that much influence in my life.
So true. If I have haters, and I’m sure I do, I pay them no mind, definitely not on Facebook. If someone dislikes me that’s fine. That’s they’re right. I never understood making a thing out of it.