You Don’t Have Haters – Maybe People Genuinely Don’t Like You
Haters has to be one of the most overused words ever. Every time I see someone use the word hater, I cringe. I cringe because I’m probably sure they don’t have haters in the literal sense. They have delusions of having haters. Jesus had haters. Martin Luther King, Jr. had haters. You probably have people who genuinely don’t like you.
Everyone has people who dislike them for some reason or another. Sometimes those reasons are valid, sometimes they’re not. Maybe they don’t like you because of a sour attitude. Or, maybe you’re a little too boastful. No one likes a bragger. Maybe you’re the type of person that doesn’t listen to another person’s opinion. No one likes a close minded person. There’s tons of reason why a person may not like you. So what do you do about it? What do you do about these haters?
Some people choose to bask in their ‘haters’. They wear them like a badge of honor. Having ‘haters’ for some reason makes them feel more important. You’ve seen these people. Every other tweet or Facebook status is, “F* all my haters”, or “Haters don’t want to see me shine”, or “Haters only make me stronger”. I laugh at these people. Only because they’re reinforcing why people genuinely dislike them.
I’m pretty sure I have a few people who genuinely don’t like me. But instead of yelling about all of my “haters”, I try to get to the core of the matter. What I like to do is approach these people who don’t like me and ask a simple question. Why? Usually, when you approach someone who dislikes you, and ask them why, they’ll give you a befuddled look. Then they’ll take a second to think of the reason why. After they come up with an answer, and decide to share it, I politely tell them thank-you and walk away.
Knowing the reason why people genuinely dislike you is helpful. If it’s a concrete reason, say they think you have a nasty attitude, you may have to do some introspection to see if they could be onto something. Sometimes people can see things you can’t see about yourself. Those “haters” may be the most beneficial people in your life. A “hater” can be a catalyst for change, if only you choose to change of course, but then again, no one likes a stubborn person.
How would you feel if someone gave an honest reason(s) why they didn’t like you?
The same people that talk about “haters” are the same people that say they can’t stand drama, but always seem to be stuck in the middle of it.
I said this a few weeks ago too. The word “hater” is definitely overused. People who dont have anything going on for themselves still claim to have haters. Its this narcissistic place we live in. Get over yourselves people. You can be liked, disliked, envied, admired, etc…call it what it is.
Is it wrong that I’ve never wondered why (as an adult) someone didn’t like me? I just accept that they don’t like me and keep going. I always told my employees, “We don’t have to like each other but we do have to respect each other” and to me, that is all that matters.
Bingo! I wouldn’t care because from early on I learned that A) Not everybody is going to like me, and that the reasons vary from something so small to something big, and that is okay and B) the only opinion that ultimately matters is mine. Like mention if someone don’t like you then that is more of their problem than mines I’ am not going to stop breathing, get butt hurt and have a nervous breakdown just because I’ am disliked. I would never give someone that much people over me, I understand getting constructive feedback from time to time from people who generally have YOUR best interest at heart but anything else is between them and their therapist. Besides, I side eye people who lives for their so called “haters” because 9/10 they don’t have any or want to be more important than they are usually.
Brilliant article!
I hate the term “hater”. For me, I think people use it as a method of not really hearing a truth about themselves.