D.L. Hughley Doesn’t Like Women?

by Britni Danielle

DL Hughley doesn't like women? An interesting interview between NPR’s Michelle Martin and D.L. Hughley on Tell Me More recently came to my attention, and I must say I’m not sure how to feel about it.

During the interview which aired last week, Hughley spoke openly about his new book, I Want You to Shut the F#ck Up: How the Audacity of Dopes Is Ruining America, his upcoming comedy special, and his views about politics. But it was his views on women, and specifically black women, that really caught my attention.

Although Hughley’s been married for 26 years and has two daughters, he admitted to Martin that he doesn’t really like women.

Here’s a (long) excerpt from their exchange:

MARTIN: Speaking of saying what you mean, I’m just going to read – and as I’ve said, that the book is wide-ranging. It talks about your personal history. It talks a lot about politics and your rise, and exactly how you kind of got where you are. And you don’t pull any punches on yourself. I do want to say that, at least from what I can see, not knowing you personally.

But let me just read from one of the reviews, OK? This is from Kirkus. Although he almost always finds a nuanced angle in presenting his outspoken opinions, it’s sometimes difficult to know where comedic provocation ends and deadly earnestness begins. Yet his views on marriage, women and kids seem strangely unhinged and harsh compared to the cool approach that makes the book so appealing throughout. For example, I’m reading from Chapter 17. Being a dad to daughters is very different from being a dad to sons. The dangers are different and the way they listen to you is different. I’m sure every father feels the same way that I do about his daughters. I love them, but I don’t like them. Who likes women? 

Really?

HUGHLEY: Really.

MARTIN: Really?

HUGHLEY: Really.

MARTIN: Really?

HUGHLEY: Really, darling. Really.

MARTIN: You don’t like women?

HUGHLEY: I don’t like the way they process – no, I don’t. I enjoy their company. I do not like the way that they reason. You can’t understand them.

MARTIN: Well, for a man who has been married for 26 years and has two daughters – you have three children overall, two daughters and a son – you don’t think you’ve figured it out?

HUGHLEY: Do you think any man has figured it out? Anyone? Anyone? Name me a man who says I’ve figured women out, I got it.

My daughters, who I love immensely, are so certain, like if a man can have a face only a mother can love, then women can have personalities only fathers can love. 

MARTIN: OK. That’s fine. But I have to ask you, though, and throughout the book, though, you do make some impassioned discussions about just how cheap you feel black life is viewed in this country.

HUGHLEY: It is viewed.

MARTIN: OK. But then to go on and in many parts of the book have some very harsh things to say about black women – African-American women. 

HUGHLEY: Like what do you think is harsh?

MARTIN: I have to ask, you don’t think that’s a contradiction? Well, this argument that you’re saying that….

HUGHLEY: I don’t – I think my life has been a contradiction.

MARTIN: …black women is – the only black woman you could be married to is your wife.

HUGHLEY: Yes.

MARTIN: Because…

HUGHLEY: Because…

MARTIN: …black women are so messed up? I mean what – or because she’s so great?

I mean I’m sure she’s great but… 

HUGHLEY: Well, in her ability to kind of tolerate my – it’s her ability to tolerate me, A) and B) I’ve never met an angrier group of people. Like black women are angry just in general. Angry all the time. My assessment, out of, just in my judgment, you either are in charge or they’re in charge, so there’s no kind of day that you get to rest(ph).

MARTIN: I have to ask whether is it because black women are an easy target? 

HUGHLEY: No.

MARTIN: And so you can say these things because nobody is going to…

HUGHLEY: Do you think black women are an easy target?

MARTIN: Well, I mean I’m thinking you or – one of the ways you came to public attention is your defense of Don Imus for calling the Rutgers women’s basketball team nappy headed ho’s…

HUGHLEY: Right.

MARTIN: …and I understand that your defense was free speech, which I think many people understand. But if you think he’d said that about another group of women, that that would’ve been considered funny? 

HUGHLEY: I can’t, really, that’s like, I can’t disprove or prove a negative, but I can say this: that I have defended any number, I have defended Michael Richards for the N-word. I’ve defended Tracy Morgan for his comments. I defended Rush Limbaugh. You know, to me, you know, what people are talking about has never really kind of worked its way into my mindset. It is the idea that they have the right to say it. So I think that’s really kind of an unfair – optically, that looks different than the way I see things. But… 

MARTIN: OK.

HUGHLEY: …I don’t think black women are easy targets at all. I respect them great – a great deal. I think that to pretend like I don’t see things the way that I do is to do a disservice to them.

(Listen to the interview & read the longer transcript on the NPR site). 

I tried to view Hughley’s words without atomically getting angry. With so many negative views and messages hurled toward black women it’s a little hard to NOT get defensive. But I tried.

While Hughley’s words will definitely inflame some women, what troubled me most was the fact that he continued to pedal the notion that women are “unknowable,” that we are some rare creature that defies logic or comprehension. This type of thinking makes it easy for some men to not only be abusive—because how can you rationalize with them—but also prevents both men and women from communicating effectively.

Look, people are complex. And despite his assertions that women are somehow beyond understanding and reason, the same can be said for a man who–although he was raised by a woman, is married to a woman, and has two daughters–still doesn’t like women.

Go figure.

What do you think? 

  • open minded

    Heard it all before. Blah blah. He has a wife to deal with his foolishness, good for him.

  • Ephraim

    Newsflash – no one likes black women. Who can change this?

    Black women.

  • LS

    I recall him defending some white radio DJ(?) who referred to us as “nappy headed hos”, so this doesn’t shock me.

  • http://theblackparacosmistmind.wordpress.com theblackparacosmistmind

    really…it’s just the tired same old same old.
    women are bad. black women are worse yada yada and all the bullsh*t. This is why opinions are like *ssholes, everyone has ‘em and some are sh*ttier than others.

    like when ppl say things about the usual black women stereotypes-jezebel, sapphire, mammy i just side eye and keep movin. if you’re going to lump us in one category and make us look bad, please be more creative. it’s like when white ppl say “go back to africa,” okay anndd…we’ve heard that like a 1000 times. if you’re going to be racist, please try harder. and if you’re going to spew sexist/stereotypical bs about black women do better than the: angry black woman with 7000 kids out of wedlock that’s destroying the community. otherwise just go die

  • gmarie

    I think the title of this was a little misleading. and the portion of the interview posted a little drawn out.

    He is married to his black wife whom he says he loves and respects. He also stated that he loves and respects his black daughters. That is all I can ask of him.

    As a comedian naturally he will support freedom of speech whether he agrees or disagrees with it. but that is a different topic for a different time.

  • minna k.

    1) I had a discussion with an older gentleman last week about the subject of “understanding women”. I told him that i feel it is more important to understand the person that is present and in front of you, because we are all individuals. No need to “get” all women. Simple, right?

    2) He was the only one in the interview sounding like an “angry black woman”. He has always had the air of a defensive little man. No difference here.

    3) So then he should just date men. See what that is all about.

    4) He’s not funny.

  • LS

    As long as the media continues to portray us negatively and white supremacy continues to be upheld, there ain’t nothing we can do. It’s not our responsibility to make people like us. We aren’t the ones at fault. We didn’t create all these horrible stereotypes that have been forced on us for centuries.

  • Mr Jay

    Doesn’t his being married to a Black woman trump all that? Is all criticism hate?

  • Ephraim

    The problem is that many black women view themselves as a part of some sort of down-trodden collective with ZERO personal responsibility to aid in correcting this tragic dynamic. Educate yourself and don’t feign ignorance as part of the usual “us vs them” narrative that you have all fallen captive to – the white radio DJ was Don Imus (implicitly stated in the article and well-known to anyone who reads and retains information).

  • Mel

    Here we go with the broad generalizations again…

  • Ephraim

    Unfortunately, it is your responsibility. The moment you wake up one day and realize that everyone has personal responsibility, your life will change forever.

  • Yb

    @LS

    Don’t even bother arguing with this racialized misogynist infant.

    I’m sure in his mind black men are the most beloved people on this planet and that women clutch their purses and cross the street when walking near black men out of kindness.

  • LS

    You sound very, very ignorant and unaware. Please go take you’re victim blaming behind and go read a history book or something.

  • Yb

    And it’s black men like him that will scream the loudest for black women to help and support him when he is down and out. Smh

    I don’t know how the must-be-down for-the-”brothas”-at-all-cost crew do it.

  • Breeze

    I feel sorry for his wife and daughters.

  • ConsciousWoman

    The problem I have with points of view like this is that we – just like all groups of people cannot and should not be grouped together as “the same.” I don’t consider myself an “angry black woman.” It’s a stereotype.

    You want to see angry women? I work with white feminist types and they are the angriest of them all. They just have more “power” – society looks at them differently.

  • Mistresscorpio

    He’s a little twerp, D-list, has been comic, struggling to stay relevant. Yawn.

  • emme

    At the end of the day who cares? He says he doesn’t understand black women yet he’s been married to one for almost 30 years…maybe he understands more than he’s willing to admit. Right now jumping on the “trash black women” wagon or the infamous “this is what’s wrong with black women” gravy train is what’s getting folks attention these days. Seemed to work for some other comics who shall remain nameless.

  • http://gravatar.com/jamesfrmphilly jamesfrmphilly

    “no one likes black women” : i love black women……and i’m a lot smarter than you are

  • mEE

    my only take away from this is that I feel sorry for his wife. …and his daughters who will have to grow up one day and read what their daddy thinks of them.

  • http://mommaused2say.wordpress.com mommaused2say

    Is this man and is comments even relevant? The fact that so many people have something to say about black women lets me know unequivocally, that black women are the strongest most beautiful women in the world because why else would so many groups, including our own, go out of there way to try and convince us otherwise?

  • http://gravatar.com/jamesfrmphilly jamesfrmphilly

    “The problem is that many black women view themselves as a part of some sort of down-trodden collective with ZERO personal responsibility to aid in correcting this tragic dynamic”

    the real problem is racist devils like yourself….

  • Ephraim

    Wait, as a black man the world doesn’t revolve around me? All those people are not staring at me out of loving adoration? When I pull up beside someone’s car and notice the locks suddenly click “down”, that’s not a sign of quiet respect? Hmmm, I could swear …

    Unfortunately, it has zero bearing on my ability to get anything I want done. Racism makes me giggle on a daily basis – not walk around angry and sullen. I have a lovely black mother and black sister – and they both accept responsibility for making everyone that they encounter feel amazing, not like the world owes them something.

    The fact is, I love all of you – I wish I could marry a Black-American woman and live happily ever after. The after-effects of American colonialism will still take some time to leave the mind of the Black person in the North American context – but for the love of G-d, let’s help it along. Treat everyone you encounter with love and kindness. People will always remember how you make them feel. Unfortunately, for many people, an encounter with a black woman is usually one laden with heavy negativity and pervasive self-hate that makes people run in the other direction. And then they blame the other person for running.

    If you can’t see the irony in the D.L. Hughley article, how his words are actually part of a plea out of love for the black woman, well that is the problem I point to.

  • http://www.facebook.com/shawngrandy Shawn Frazier

    It’s all for publicity. Don’t waste your keystrokes/ink. At this point, his P.R. reps have this down to a science.

  • Ephraim

    James, I promise you – you are not smarter than I am

  • http://niksknits.blogspot.com Nik

    that exchange was so disjointed.

  • Ephraim

    James, if I’m a racist devil, then I tell you … I must REALLY be having an identity crisis

  • http://halloftheblackdragon.com Greg Dragon

    Many of you commentators are brushing it off but the reality of Hughley’s honesty and many others like him is that men do feel this way. Downvoting my comment and acting as if this isn’t the case won’t make it any less so and what’s funnier is that many articles here and the responding misandrist audience reinforces the feelings that men have towards black women even more. Not all black women, just the ones reinforcing stereotypes on the internet all day every day — you know who you are.

    I love the personal attacks on the man too as if he’ll read it. You say you want honesty but anything short of kissing ass is a problem I see. The author speaks of communication but there really isn’t any if you aren’t willing to accept the bad as well as the good is there?

  • Ephraim

    Emme, I can almost guarantee that he understands the black female mind, with a black mother, a black wife, and two black daughters. His words are a plea to wake up. 95% won’t get it and will take offense. An enlightened 5% will parse the words carefully, and realize what he is saying.

    Be part of the 5%. Today can be the first day of the rest of your life.

  • Ephraim

    I suppose Greg is a “racist devil” also, James?

    Wake up my lovely people. Please. Its 2012. Wake up before it’s too late.

    Black men are passionately commenting here because we LOVE black women, not the other way around. But the discourse needs to become more enlightened, and the victim mentality needs to melt away.

  • JacquelynMarie

    N

  • Ephraim

    D. L. Hughley pulled in just under 1.3 million dollars in 2011.

    He doesn’t need to rustle up publicity for money. He is actually one of the few artists who does and says everything from a point of passion, conviction and observation.

  • Ephraim

    Amen, Greg, amen.

    Btw, sitting here with my lovely black girlfriend right now. We are laughing at the “racist devil” comment that was thrown at me earlier.

    Racism is still a hot button topic. I understand I have probably embroiled emotions here. But these conversations need to be had. Personal responsibility is critical at this point in history for black men and women everywhere. The “white enemy devil” narrative is no longer relevant and makes us look really, really pathetic.

  • http://www.facebook.com/otisl.griffin Otis L Griffin

    actually it’is not the same old crap!!! . women do process totally different . & it is ok // not to ‘like ‘ them .. Some how ( to bolster the point ) “you,” like the women in most Mens’ lives , confuse LIking or Not Liking with RESPECTING .. IN the MALE world they are not in CONFLICT .. if women don’t ‘like ‘ something // I find it RARE that they RESPECT it .

  • Bev

    Like the previous responder said, D.L. has been married to his Black wife for 26 years! He is only one of a handful of high profile, successful Black men that even has a Black wife or partner. For that reason alone I say he deserves the right to speak his truth! Actions certainly do speak louder than words. Now, unless his wife and/or daughters write a “tell all” expose accusing him of being abusive, then I say don’t take his words to heart. He is one of the few comedians that I consider knowledgable in politics, world affairs and other nuances of life, and is able to converse with panels of all types of people and express himself well. He is also a “tongue in cheek, wink wink” type that continues to be booked because of it.

  • AJNYC

    The issue I have with his view on black women is just how stereotypical it is. He has a loving wife and two daughters who I am sure aren’t walking around angry everyday like he says the majority of black women are. If he has contact with at least 3 black women in his life who don’t fit the stereotype, he surely should know that there are
    plenty more out there that don’t either. I think that his views are just a gimmick to drum up publicity for his projects and the sad part is that it is anchored at the expense of black women and not based on his talent. When one is truly talented, they don’t have to have a gimmick, the talent will just speak for itself.

  • leelah

    I get what you are saying…but being he just wrote a book and was on NPR selling his book, he should have took more time and actually articulated his point so the rest of us, 95%?, could get it. Please note, if the vast majority doesn’t understand what he is saying then there is a problem with him, not us.

  • http://www.facebook.com/otisl.griffin Otis L Griffin

    thank God ,, a flicker of light .. !! Met a ‘beautiful . smart . intelligent SISta . her thing . ‘ all Brother’s are like the JACK A555 from her past …! Doomed our future .. … , even with therapy . she wouldn’t live in the NOW !!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/otisl.griffin Otis L Griffin

    when the change that’s needed is .YOU … few will find a need for change !!!

  • Ange B

    I agree with the author of this article! Stop making women out to be so beyond understanding. It’s annonying frankly and an underhanded way of dismissing women all together. As for D L Hughley not liking Black women..honesty I just don’t care anymore. He seems to have a problem with all women since he lacks the tools to understand the opposite sex.

  • Starla

    So does the D.L stand for downlow?

  • Ephraim

    Leelah (love your name btw … and Emme’s too!) – thank you for respectfully choosing to enter a discourse about the subject, and not calling names.

    I understand where you are coming from also. He has a responsibility to, though he is trying to enlighten minds and cause debate, really expand his thesis.

    At the same time, we all need to elevate our consciousness, not ask others to lower theirs.

    But I respect what you are saying.

  • JacquelynMarie

    Wow, a guess he is entitled to his opinion, I think its sad that their are many looking at the Black woman as endangered species. Their are millions of Black women so there is no way you can catergorize Black women on a whole. I feel sad for his wife and daughters, because often some people don’t really understand that certain words spoken can be damaging. Sounds like to me that D.L. may have some deep issues of his own that might need to be addressed through counseling. I believe his comments speak more about his own inner dysfuntions more than it does about women or the Black woman.

  • http://AirInDanYell.tumblr.com Erin

    I think he feels how a lot of Black men, yes even the ones that have been married for decades, feel about Black women. Get a group of married Black men in a room and they’ll probably feel similar as how D.L. feels. Just because he called Black women angry and said he doesn’t understand them, doesn’t mean that he loves Black women or his wife and daughters any less. Sounds like he’s just speaking from the male perspective and has similar opinions of many men that I see and hear constantly in regards to Black women. No need to get offended and up and arms about what he has to say in my opinion. Most of y’all are proving his point by getting angry about what he’s saying. I will add this though, I think a lot of men confuse Black women’s strength and the ability to put up with a good amount of their mess and how they believe they can treat us, with us being angry.

  • JacquelynMarie

    Ephraim, it is this type of so called love that helps to keep our relationships dysfuntional…I believe many black men and women have relationships full of turmoil because no one is willing to hear the other person out, instead pointing the finger becomes the easiest thing to do…we all have issues, men and women. If you really want to understand the Black woman then ask her questions about who she is and why she thinks the way she does, but listen attentively. This is what I plan to do. I have questions that I want to ask the Black man, but rather than point the finger and make assumptions about him, I am setting up focus groups so we Black men and women can learn to communicate effectively, I am going to ask questions with no judgement, and I am willing to accept what the answers are. We don’t have to like the way a person thinks or behaves, but we do have to respect one another. I would never say I don’t like Black men based on the limited amount of interaction I’ve had with Black men (some negative interaction). I didn’t hear love in D.L.’s statements.

  • http://gravatar.com/dginki Kim

    But they like us more than they like you. You are so slow you can’t even see how you would be the first to be gotten rid of.

  • leelah

    I feel sorry for D.L. Obviously he doesn’t understand how the black book market works. Black women fuel the black market because one, its been shown that black women read for enjoyment and that black women spend more money on high black culture. So once its out there that you are coming with some condescending, i hate u mess, his book won’t sale. It’ll be interesting to check out his numbers in a year. Note steve’s book was condescending but was accepted because he came from the angle of helping women understand men.—-I think DL would’ve did himself a service if he would’ve took a second and explained why he thinks black women are angry. As a black woman, I know a little bit why black men are angry and depressed and disillusioned because its part of our shared experience. Also anger is a negative stereotype that robs black women from all the other human conditions that have got black women down. black women aren’t depressed, frustrated, cynical, unemployed, lonely, battling addictions, battling bad childhoods and neighborhoods, abused, molested, raped, or just lost. They are angry, for no reason, just angry and black. I aspect more from someone who wrote a book.

  • Ephraim

    The last two commenters – Erin and JacquelynMarie – you are the black women that I love dearly – the ones who are open to discourse and debate.

    Erin, I agree with you 100% – many times the strength and tenacity of the black woman can be intimidating. It is simply astounding what the black woman, especially in a North American context, has had to endure. My mother is a Black Jewish woman, no less. She has had to be superhuman in her efforts to provide a life for us while getting deluged on all counts – religious xenophobia, racism, sexism, and numerous sexual advances in a corporate setting because she happens to be a ridiculously good looking woman. But her optimism and strength are simply infectious, and I have seen her disarm people within seconds with a smile, a laugh, and an indomitable sense of almost daring the person to not be a human being.

    JacquelynMarie, I did think deeply about what you just said and I have to agree with some of what you said also. It was hard to hear any love in D.L’s statements. He definitely should have couched it more, caveated himself, and framed his observations in a more positive manner, especially given the fact that he has two daughters. What he failed to do was understand that he had a real opportunity to educate. The content of what he is getting at is however very real, and very tragic.

    Michelle Obama is the hottest woman on the planet right now. I think we can all learn a thing or two from how she carries herself, how she speaks, and how she makes an effort to touch everyone she encounters in a manner where she knows she has a responsibility in the interaction.

  • http://gravatar.com/dginki Kim

    Money comes and goes. We will see, but if history repeats it’s self……….

  • And

    Listen please hear me women are not responsible to carry you in a basket on our heads. You who have insecurities bursting out we cant fix your issues for you. Your pain from LaRonda, Denise, whoever gives you no right to lump and dump. Honestly you don’t have much right to hate them either. My father was alcoholic, brother was cruel, and even the so called nicest guys I’d hoped to build a relationship with betrayed or burnt me to the core. I don’t think they are the devil or have some mysterious bad gene where I need to hate them. I get to know people as deeply as they allow me to failings, fraility, and all. No adult can afford to harbor all that hate and anger without costing themselves dearly.

    Look if you hate black women it tends to be obvious, and we keep it moving. DL has never been someone looked to for maturity, character, and warmth. He has figured out how to squeeze attention when he never had much going on in the first place. Many black male comedians try to beat down the sisters cause it’s a cheap laugh and makes them look dark, edgy, helping mask those that aren’t really funny and definantly not any king of any comedy.

    Anyway if you are angry at us realize you need to get some help.

  • Jess

    I’m supposed to take something that D.L. Hughley says seriously!!?? Surely you jest, that man can’t even read, much less write. I remember watching his CNN show once or twice. God how he stumbled over the teleprompter repeatedly. Horrid.

  • http://gravatar.com/dginki Kim

    I suppose Black womenwill wake up when Black men do. Do you realize just how much EVERYONE has had enough of some of you? Do you not see it and hear it? You are delusional.

  • ai

    “…although he was raised by a woman, is married to a woman, and has two daughters–still doesn’t like women.” Damn shame, but there are plenty men just like him who don’t like women. I think it’s best to abandon him and everything he stands for.

  • fancypants

    The end of your comment is key. Many tend to act as if black women are just angry for no reason (if we are angry at all; NEWSFLASH: all black women aren’t angry!). Find out why we are angry. Many have suffered unbelieveable horrors while bearing the lionshare of rearing the family. Just as black men want us to understand their struggles and help them bear their pain, how about having our backs sometime too. It may mean that you have to deal with bad attitudes and puzzling interactions, but if you love us like you say you do, love us through the pain. But that would require effort, and nobody wants to do that anymore…

  • Ephraim

    Leelah, if he doesn’t touch on any of the reasons in his book and just makes blanket statements, then yes, you are correct. He has failed to help solve the problem.

    However, the book should not be boycotted in anyway because of a segment of Black women who find it difficult to self-examine.

    I think also that Black women, especially Black American women, have to think of themselves more as citizens of a shared planet, not as a collective that has little in common with other women on the planet. There are many women in Bulgaria, Ethiopia, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Mali etc who share the exact same sentiments and are struggling to have their voices heard.

    My mother was imprisoned in a Dubai holding cell for 52 days in 2008 because she was a black woman who is an Israeli citizen and also an outspoken businesswoman. Wow – they really tried to break her. She represented a truth about what it is to be a citizen of planet Earth that they were absolutely unprepared to deal with. Many women would have been broken by the experience – she instead kept her wits about her, formed relationships with other women in the holding cell, and began to form alliances while waiting for her company’s lawyers to work furiously on getting her released.

    The vast majority of women in that holding cell were African women with no voices, no money, no lawyers working for them, and yet were among some of the strongest spirits that she had ever met.

    Their is a crisis of female enslavement happening world-wide – and strong Black American women have a real opportunity to represent the change that this plane needs. Not walk around being bitter and sullen and not taking responsibility for the impressions they leave on others.

    I may have been off-base in my first comment – but large segments of black women in North America need to wake up to the reality of the world that they live in. Its a cruel, cruel planet.

    Am I still a racist devil, James? ;)

  • And

    If you build a house but burn the neighborhood that just makes you a demented criminal who is self serving.

  • Ephraim

    Kim, I don’t understand what you are saying. Are you saying black men would be the first to be gotten rid of?

  • Ephraim

    Another fascinating ominous comment from Kim. Okay, I’m intrigued. What happens in this dystopian future that you are foretelling?

  • JM

    Thank you, Leelah. I agree with you on so many levels. I heard the interview on “Tell Me More” last week. I think Michele Martin was calmly allowing DL the opportunity to clarify his thoughts, and he failed miserably. The interview was as disjointed as the transcript reads. He seemed to freeze up a bit.

    He reminded me of past interactions I’ve had with some non-black friends and associates. I often hear the comment that “you’re not like other black people.” When I ask why, I receive the usual stereotypical responses: you’re articulate, educated, easy-going, etc. Which means to their minds, black people are inarticulate, uneducated, and angry.

    This comment–as well as Hughley’s–tells me a couple things: 1) they probably haven’t had enough broad interactions with other black people, and 2) they found it easier to dismiss this whole group than to find out if their views are rational.

    I never thought my friends meant anything malicious by stating this and I believe DL loves his wife and daughters, but their views still dismiss the complexity of an entire group of people.

  • http://gravatar.com/apurplefist DanaT

    Lil Reese beat up a black woman and laughed about the incident online. Recy Taylor is just now receiving publicity and support from her KKK gang rape that happened in the 1940s. Black women are overwhelmingly victims of incest from black male family members. We are the single mothers raising sons, not fathers. Check statistics. I don’t think we need condemnation right now. I think we need support.

  • http://www.gallimaufry.ws T.

    I am happy that D.L. Hughley has a wife with, as he himself puts it, the ability to tolerate him. He’s a lucky man.

  • http://Scott Lorna

    Spot on!! Either he’s a gay misogynist or a straight misogynist. Either way, he’s a woman-hater. God help his wife and kids!

  • Ephraim

    Kim, two words:

    Michelle Obama.

    Release the bitterness. Elevate your consciousness. Channel her spirit. I could think of no greater example other than her at this moment.

  • Tiff

    Who would get mad or take this seriously? This is DL HUGLEY WE’RE TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE? Who gives a fukk? He’s entitled to his opinion and furthermore he’s ugly, so who cares what he thinks?

  • leelah

    The story about your mother is beautiful…but I fail to see how you came to the conclusion that black women don’t see themselves as part of a global community of women. This is an article about one man criticizing one group of women.I’m not a sociologist, but I noticed when people talk about black women it dives into stereotypes. But as soon as we talk about specific problems it goes into this global, all women have these issues discussion. so why are u guys complaining–but taking a global perspective. It seems like sexism, mysoginism keeps alot of women down, world wide. And in poor countries, the patriarchal society is very cruel to women with rape, murder, poverty, prostitution, and early marriages. the more downtrodden a group of men are, the more downtrodden they want their women. I suspect it has something to do with society’s hierarchal ladder,men depend on women being a step lower on that societal ladder. so being part of a world wide community, I understand that the decisions of men can have real negative implications for women and their children. after all, in Israel there is a real reason why those israeli bombs they randomly shoot on the palestinians always hit some stay at home mom and her kids, just like in chicago some little kid always gets hit in a drive by.–but u went off topic. we’re discussing DL, not the blight of women the world over. why did u even bring that up? —Who said anything about a boycott? There is nothing wrong with not buying his book because I don’t like him or because I think he did a bad job in an interview. His job was to sell his book to me and he didn’t, so I’m not buying

  • Ephraim

    DanaT, Lil Reese is an idiot who belongs in jail and happens to live in a world where he enjoys 15 minutes of fame because of Twitter. Never heard of the guy before a couple days ago.

    Everyone knows the statistics. And you’re right, black women don’t need condemnation right now. But as I said, black women, especially black women in a North American context, need to look at themselves as sharing a kinship with women struggling all over this planet. Not break off from reality and go into the usual shell where they imagine that their experiences are so unique and the world-be-damned. Become personally responsible for your own plight. Be ambassadors to not only our community, but to the world at large. The black woman has the ability to single-handedly change the course of the history of the planet. Right now.

    But sadly this won’t happen until an African-American woman born in Mobile Alabama can call a Ukrainian woman born in Kiev her sister. And not whine about how the Ukrainian should do this first.

    With great power comes great responsibility.

  • Downsouth Transplant

    @ Fancypants, Amen sister, succinctly started.

  • Blaque217

    Every time I hear a Black man throw EVERY BLACK WOMAN IN THE WORLD in a box and label us as “angry” or whatever, I really don’t take it personally. I feel as though it’s more of a reflection of the man making the comment, not of me as a Black woman. If he doesn’t like Black women and honestly feels that every Black woman he’s ever met is angry perhaps, just perhaps, he is doing something to turn Black women off. Personally, I never thought D.L. Hugley was funny. I mean, has he been on any television show or in any movie in the last decade? Why exactly is his claim to fame and why is he being interviewed again? Oh well, regardless of how irrelevant I think this man is, he is certainly entitled to his assessment of EVERY BLACK WOMAN IN THE WORLD. But if I could say anything to him it would be “Take a good hard look at the person in the mirror!” Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. If EVERY BLACK WOMAN IN THE WORLD comes across as angry or hard to understand, it must be something he’s doing wrong. But the blame where it belongs Hugley!

  • Ephraim

    None of us would be on this planet were it not for women. Unfortunately, you do have a responsibility to carry us in baskets on your heads – you have had to do this since the beginning of time.

    The dynamics are changing. Women are increasingly the breadwinners in households. Men have a responsibility to love, cherish and treasure them.

    But the black woman has perhaps the greatest responsibility in history – to lead us all to a better future. It all started with her, and it will end with her.

    Women like Michelle Obama realized that a long time ago. I hardly think D.L. is talking about women like her – because that would just be foolish, and erroneous.

  • Beth

    Ok! I wonder how women like his wife swallow their self respect and waste their lives catering to these misogynist a-holes. Money isn’t enough reason for me to be humiliated by some idiotic statement(s) my husband made

  • Rue

    Ok. I caught him on The Daily Show and I believe him, if you know what I’m saying! *wink, wink*

  • Ephraim

    Leelah, I encourage you to visit Israel one day. You would be shocked at how large of a black community there is. And how much thought and coordination goes into protecting communities after they have been attacked by Hamas or Hezbollah, not “random” attacks as its so in vogue to believe. But thats a whole other topic.

    Black women in other parts of the world are much more likely to see themselves as sharing travails with other people. My contention is that the Black woman in America is the least likely of all to look at a global context. America is possibly most to blame – it has to be one of the most inward-looking countries of all time.

    The Black woman in America is in a far greater position to lead from a position of strength, look at things globally, and in turn use this global focus to move Black women locally aeons ahead in terms of their consciousness. The fact that you get to sit here and tap away on a computer puts you in the top 0.1% of the world. Its an enviable position to be in.

    D.L. could have chosen his words better, but it says something when his wife and children are privy to a better life than most because of the money he’s made and the life they live, but he still cites frustration with their “processing.” Its about having the ability to recognize when you are in a position that many other women on the planet would kill for – not allowing yourself to get trapped in the victim narrative because we live in a society that still celebrates beauty from a almost purely European perspective.

    Everyone knows the truth – black women are the arbiters of life on planet Earth. Take pride in that, and be the change you want to see. Don’t wait for it.

  • Beautiful Mic

    Guess he has in eye on a white chick – his 2nd wife. It’s been in Lala Land (Hollywood) too long.

  • Ephraim

    Mmm yes, so uplifting Tiff. You give him so much reason to change his words.

  • Ephraim

    Only 74 comments until Beautiful Mic enlightened us with perhaps the most over-played attack levied at black men – that to date a white woman is solely because of some perceived aversion to black women.

    I wish the complexity of human relationships and attraction could be boiled down to primary colours like this, but unfortunately – they don’t.

    Either way, well done. Really needed one of these comments to add to the “seasoning” if you will lol.

    We are all talking though – we’re in good shape. This is awesome.

  • jillodelight

    The whole “BW are hard and angry” meme is getting old. Considering the level of dysfunction among BM (colorism, mass incarceration, racialized misogyny towards BW, mass abandonment of Black communities etc.) it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see why a lot of BW, who believe their tied to BM, are frustrated.

    HUGHLEY: …I don’t think black women are easy targets at all. I respect them great – a great deal. I think that to pretend like I don’t see things the way that I do is to do a
    disservice to them.

    LOL at the stutter, he couldn’t even say that with a straight face *smh*

    Haha, I just LOVE the absolute arrogance and narcissism of BM of his kind: they believe their doing us a favor by telling us how terrible we are. This just pretty much confirms that BM’s overinflated egos are dependent on keeping BW doubting themselves. Pathetic. I know every BM married to BW gets a cookie now, but I wonder how he treats his wife and daughters in private. His wife is probably on egg shells all the time,careful not show ANY emotion, lest she be considered an “angry BW”

    HUGHLEY: My assessment, out of, just in my judgment, you either are in charge or they’re in charge, so there’s no kind of day that you get to rest(ph).

    Please. I think this is it right there: since the majority of BM are uninterested in “being in charge” in the black community, it’s of course BW who have to be punished. We can’t ridicule invisible men, I guess. So yes, we are an easy target. Some how it’s ok for BM to kill each other over nonsense but not ok for BM to expect accountability from each other lol I love how he makes it seem like there was coup between BW and BM in the community. I mean it’s not like we have a bunch of BW begging BM to “be in charge” or anything *sarcasm off*

  • JacquelynMarie

    Thats the point exactly Ephraim, there are plenty Black women in this world who think along the same lines as your mother, Erin and myself. Many people generalize and that’s dangerous and unfair. Thank you for your comment~

    Your absolutley right about our Beautiful First Lady Michelle Obama, an inspiration for sure. Michelle Obama represents the true Black woman, and there are so many of us out here that personify what she represents. I truly appreciate First Lady Michelle Obama, for her poise, intellect, wisdom, and her pride in being a Black woman…simply the best!

  • Joy

    I’m a black women and I believe there is some truth in what DL is saying. (NOT ALL) but a lot of black women are angry. And it’s been my experience that their anger mostly surrounds men (or the lack thereof). Two example: I have a very successful school teacher friend that is very BITTER towards men bc she can’t find one. She’s 40iesh and wants to get married, and have kids but can’t find a man that’s on the same page with her. Actually she can’t find anyone to date; much less marry. So she’s always bitter bitter bitter! I have another friend that constantly saids men are no good, and that all men cheap. Yet she has sex with a man that she knows stays with someone else. And I always say to her you are the one having sex with someone that stays with someone else….so why are you getting mad, and complainig about him(?) It is what it is; either accept him for what he’s doing, or leave him alone. Period!! I also remind her that all men don’t cheat.

  • Joy

    Rue: “Wink wink” No I don’t know what you mean. Please elaborate

  • Joy

    Bottomline is that there are (some) angry black women; just like there are some angry black men. I’m always amazed at how everyone interprets things differently. I for one don’t think DL is saying he doesn’t (really)like women. I think he is saying he doesn’t like how a lot of women think, and react to situations. Let’s face it men, and women have always pretty much thought differently about things. That’s just a fact. For example a man can make a comment and a women will interpret his comment totally different from what the man was thinking (meant), and vice versa for women. We are from different clothes. And for the record it doesn’t only apply to differences in black men and women’s thinking but in how all men, and women think differently no matter their ethnicity. I hear the same complaints black women make from white, and latino women. It’s a difference in gender thing not a color thing.

  • leelah

    ephraim,
    I get what you’re saying but I’m going to disagree that black women are the least likely to look at things from a global perspective. That idea is a stereotype of ignorant closed minded, uncultured black people. Its a stereotype that robs me in particular and black women on this site of our personal education, interest, history, and travels. That assumption is just dripping with condescension. In fact, the only reason I think you went on this whole global tangent is so you can sit yourself up on high and speak with some intellectual superiority. Saying ‘just because you haven’t traveled abroad you black women don’t get it’ doesn’t cut it, especially when the topic at hand is something at home; us, at home, in our body and communities. So let me get this right, once I look at the female condition world wide, I can no longer examine my own condition because they have it so much harder than I do?

  • Joy

    Lorna: I’ve followed DL and his career, and seen him in person several times, and it hasn’t been my experience that he hates women, or is gay. In fact what I’ve observed about him is that he’s a decent husband, and father.He often talks about his kids in admirable terms. At least he’s married (and has been for years)which a lot of (and I mean A LOT) of men aren’t willing to do these days. DL often talks about guiding his MALE and female kids in the right direction.

  • jillodelight

    BW quietly taking hits though also adds to the “Strong BW” myth though. It’s just as harmful as the “Angry BW” stereotype. BW are damned if they do and damned if they don’t, so pretending not to be angry over offensive comments (or behavior) doesn’t help BW. No one has EVER given us brownie points for taking the high road. It seems like BW twist themselves in pretzels to project an air of “It’s all good”, when people simply take even more advantage of us and laugh in our faces. Hughley’s career isn’t in danger, since the Black community is ok with supporting douchebag BM, so I think it’s ok for BW to indulge in a little venting online.

  • Joy

    Tiff: I agree why get mad because of comments DL made (or for that matter comments anyone makes) because we are ALL indeed entitled to our own opinions. We don’t all have to agree. That being said what does DL’s looks have to do with this particular article? I’m sure there are people that think that both you, and I aren’t good looking. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

  • Joy

    james: Not to make this personal but I beg to differ that you are smarter than DL. I’ve seen your post on this thread, and other threads and unfortunately I beg to differ. Sorry.

  • Ephraim

    Leelah,

    REALLY examine my last comment again. By no means am I trying to be dismissive or put myself on a high horse. I don’t presume to know where you have been on the planet. But at the same time I’m positing a thesis on Black American women and what is a pervasive mindset that I have seen, and presumably as a Black American woman you’re going to be on the offensive.

    Don’t mean to be condescending in the least. I hear your words also. Hopefully you hear mine and you look back and really disect what I am saying. All I know is that I am better for having had this conversation with you. Thanks for this.

  • Yb

    “but a lot of black women are angry”

    Please tell me more about the millions of black women you met.

    I’m sure you have thousands of accounts and stories of black women and anger instead of that one measly occurrence you listed.

    What’s Michelle O like?

  • victoria

    Ephraim

    Yes, there are angry black women. Im not going to pretend that angry black women dont exist. But for DL to say, ”I’ve never met an angrier group of people. Like black women are angry just in general. Angry all the time. My assessment, out of, just in my judgment, you either are in charge or they’re in charge, so there’s no kind of day that you get to rest,” implies that ALL black women are this way. From my perspective, many black women are angry about the relationship struggles between men and women in our community. (Which both men and women play are part in creating and continuing). At the same time I have come across many black women who have chosen to leave the madness alone. These women dont place all black men in the same box like DL and the male commentors on this site tend to do. What if I stated that all black men are deadbeat dads, h.s. drop outs who cant stay out of jail b/c of their thuggish ways? DL painted all black women with a broad brush. That’s the problem.

  • Joy

    LS: DL is referring to the freedom of speech.In other words supposed everything him, and every other comedian, or talk show host had to say was censored. The point being is that we may not agree with something someone else saids but (generally) they have the right to say it.

  • Joy

    Otis: Then move on to the next beautiful, intelligent sista. There are zillions of them out here.

  • Joy

    Beth: Yeah right! His wife knows him better than any of us. Why would she leave her husband of 25 plus years just because those of us looking from the outside in don’t agree with what he saids. Sounds like you are eluding to that you wouldn’t stay just for the money…..again….yeah right. It depends on the overall circumstances.

  • omfg

    frankly, i feel entitled to my indignation…when it arises.

  • http://gravatar.com/jamesfrmphilly jamesfrmphilly

    i am smart enough to love me some black stuff….

  • Ravi

    just curious, but how is it perceived aversion to black women when he explicitly state that he doesn’t like black women?

  • Ravi

    so you respond to his ignorant generalizing with some of your own? break the cycle.

  • Maria

    Jillodelight for President. You’re awesome!

    When I heard the interview, I felt kind of queasy. It’s amazing to me that Black men so often have so little empathy for Black women.

    We have to face facts. DL Hughley is a sexist pig. He’s free to have his opinions about women, and I’m free to have mine about him.

    The only reason he’s famous is that he’s one of the few go-to-black-guys for audiences who desire some “cred.” (And no, I am NOT lumping all Whites into that category.)

  • Oh Please

    Why do you think black men keep being accused of this? What would make a black woman think that a man who dates interracially has an aversion to black women in your opinion?

  • Ravi

    He’s not speaking from a male perspective, just an ignorant perspective. It is impossible to generalize black women as being more angry than any other group. I’m an angry black man and I find, in my experiences, that the black women I come across are not angry enough. Considering the state of oppression and injustice levied against black folks, I would think to see even more anger.

  • Danielle

    it is exactly because of comments like DL’s that have black women angry. but not all of us. when will people stop making general assumptions about groups of others?

  • paul

    addressing the angry black man/woman issue.

    Dividing black people’s issues into black men’s and black women’s issues is way to separate black men from black women and treat them as opposing forces.

    Once you’ve defined black men or black women as the enemy you now have an easy target to pick on. A safe target for you to vent anger and pain at rather than confronting the real cause of your woes.

    After all, blacks have little power to impose any penalty that might deter you from trashing them – right? Unlike whites who can fire you, not hire you, put you in jail or kill you.

    But it’s safe to blame black people for one’s problems and wear a mr or mrs angry face for black people, coz hating black people is a socially sanctioned past time that always looks good on the ole social resume.

    People make me sick to my core. Damn cowards. And the saddest part is these people see no similarity between themselves and the gangbangers who take risks with other black peoples lives that they wouldn’t dare take with anyone who is not black.

    All look the same to me.

  • Ravi

    In order to be able to even begin to quantify who is the angriest, you would need to control some factors. The biggest factor is the causes for anger. you can’t compare a person that just got punched in the face with someone that just won the lottery to gauge for who is the angrier person. Certain circumstances are more likely to cause anger than others. You have to look at the person that won the lottery when they are getting punched in the face also, and see who gets angrier.

    Black women have more cause to be angry than almost anyone. Let white women put up with half the shit black women have to in this society and then we can start to make an honest assessment. I doubt any group of people would have handled the oppression black people have face in this country with more decorum than black women. If white men were similarly oppressed, I think their heads might explode from anger. You see how mad some of them get just for losing some privilege like exclusively white male clubs and schools? What if they were actually disadvantaged?

  • Joy

    Erin: You nailed it! Great comments.

  • Ephraim

    Totally hear what you are saying. He 100% painted with too broad a brush. I would laugh if anyone called me a deadbeat. I own 3 companies and have net worth well north of 20 million dollars, and I’m only 29 years old. I overcame A LOT of adversity to get to where I am. I walk into boardrooms and because of my youth and the color of my skin have to be EXCELLENT from the moment I open my mouth. I also know successful black men who walk around with a bitterness and a coldness that affects everyone around them. I worked for one once. Never understood his mindset until this very moment, actually.

    I have never even had a chance to play victim – there is no time. My central message to black women, American and worldwide, is to realize your strength, and to get to work.

    There is no time.

  • https://twitter.com/TheKMichel K. Michel

    “And the saddest part is these people see no similarity between themselves and the gangbangers who take risks with other black peoples lives that they wouldn’t dare take with anyone who is not black.”

    I’ll have to borrow this analogy sometime.

  • Joy

    Agree with DL’s comments, or not….at least he’s married. I scratch my head every day wondering why so many of our celebrity brothas, and otherwise successful brothas aren’t married (including average brothas)? I see so many black female celebrities and very successful (career wise) sistas, i.e.,doctors,lawyers,teachers,business owners,insurance brokers, and average everyday hard working women that can’t find anyone to date much less marry. What’s the matter with zillions of black men that they aren’t willing to get married?Again…at least DL is married, and has a family intact.

  • Ephraim

    Ravi – He was jesting. You need to understand the nuances. He was attempting political commentary, especially when confronted by the interviewer and sort of ambushed. He did not react well, and did nothing to help sell his book.

    Oh Please – I have dated women of all nationalities in my time. I happen to be dating a beautiful black woman at the moment. I am dating her because I like her, she’s funny, she’s sexy, and she is cool as hell. The fact that we can have conversations about a shared black heritage is amazing – but just a bonus, not a necessity.

    he problem is even talking about “dating interracially” as some sort of disdainful act. We are guilty of a racism sometimes that is far more insidious than white privilege, because its based in a false premise – that people of African heritage are imbued with benevolent qualities, while everyone else come second place. I know black women who have not had successful relationships with black men, but refuse to even have a coffee with someone who doesn’t have “swagger” and “thug” appeal.
    I have had black women give me the cold shoulder at first because I don’t exhibit qualities on some sort of invisible “checklist” that they have – and then they spend an evening with me and can’t get enough.

    It really is a ridiculous stance at this point in history.

  • ChillyRoad

    @Kim

    Liking cancer more than AIDS. Big deal!.

  • Barbara2

    @Paul…..a very insightful comment…Thanks.

    I’ve been done with that Coon Hugeley every since he went on the Tonight Show and called Black women the ugliest women on the planet. Doesn’t that ignorant Coon realize we have children (male and female) we are trying to rear with self dignity; yet here he is publicly saying such a thing in their presence to White people nontheless?

    I don’t even understand why Clutch or Ms Martin would print anything about him.

  • victoria

    I’m in my late 30s. I’ve heard men say these things for almost 20 years. In my younger days I use to deflect everything back on black men. But with wisdom I do see that both men and women play a role and I believe it’s 50%. I just have a problem with each blaming the other.

    Im a take-responsibility-of-your-own-life type of girl. I believe if you choose your path that it’s not the govt’s, social media’s, your baby mama or daddy’s fault, but your own. If people are still playing dumb de dumb dumb in 2012, there is no excuse.

    But back to DL, I think his statement also bothered me because black men dont look at themselves and how your counterparts negatively reflect on you. It’s the truth and you know it! It shouldnt be, but it is. The male commentors on this site seem to ignore this.

  • YaHeard

    you know what a lot of men don’t like women. they consider them a necessary evil that is why we have misogny

  • __A

    A lot of men don’t want to get married. I’m not saying all or the majority, but many men get what they want from women without commitment: sex. How many BW sit around in these 5+ years long relationships with a man talking about marriage is just a piece of paper? How many BW have children from men they aren’t married to? To darn many.

    A lot of men want to have fun until they’re in their forties. By then all the women that they’ve screwed over are damaged.

  • __A

    Men like DL Hughley and Lil Reese and supporters think that women have a certain role in life: to serve. When women don’t do these things, men like them get angry.

  • RObleu

    I am sorry but DL being married and having a family intact is not enough. If emotional and mental abuse occurred in a family where a successful black man chose to marry a black woman and raise their black children together, would it be ok?
    His sexist thinking undermines the ability for men and women to be considered equal and for women to be considered intellectually capable of having a rational, not purely emotional, thought. I doubt that this hasn’t had a negative impact on his son and daughter’s lives.

  • edub

    “I have never even had a chance to play victim – there is no time. ”

    Wow. Succinct but wholly accurate. I wish more of us lived by this simple creed.

  • Mademoiselle

    I’d rather stay single than be married to (and God-forbid have to raise a family with) a man who can’t stand me and would rather write me off as irrational/angry than to try and understand how I reason.

  • http://gravatar.com/artwork100 WaterLove

    This doesn’t surprise me, coming from DL Hugley. I knew he had issues when he referred to his own mother as a B**** during a routine on Comic View. Haven’t cared for him since.

  • Echi

    DL is married to a black woman – whoopity damn doo. Heck, there are a lot of undercover racists going around defending their racist rants by stating, “hey, I have black friends.” DL let his misogyny show. And we’re not talking about ordinary misogyny – we’re talking about the racialized kind, which hones in on crapping all over a specific group of women because of their color. I don’t know how he gets away with this stuff.
    Because you’re a black man and unmarried doesn’t mean that you hate black women. Because you’re a black man and you marry a white woman, it doesn’t automatically mean that you hate black women. But when you have the gall to spew out nonsense akin to what DL said, you, my friend, are anti-black woman. Point blank.

  • Apple

    Did you know white men have the highest rate of suicide? With life on the lowest difficulty setting and they still off themselves the most. I suppose if things were really hard for them there would be no white men

  • lol

    @Ephraim

    don’t you get tired of bragging?

  • lol

    @Ravi

    thanks for understanding!

  • jillodelight

    I was done with him when he went on some t.v. show and was asked about Don Imus’s comments: His reply? “Those were some nappy headed hoes!” *smh* Loser.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    Never been a fan of D.L. Hughley and not surprised…NEXT

  • lauryn

    Hughley’s thought process is above and beyond ridiculous. So, if he doesn’t like women, and more specifically, black women, then logic follows that he doesn’t like his mother, grandmother, wife, daughters, so on and so forth. Not all black women are angry, but when and where there are some that are, their anger just might stem from having to deal with men like Hughley.

    I’m just sayin’.

  • kyla

    +1. never could and never will. he just talking out the side of his neck to make his name relevant. smh

  • Ravi

    That’s cute that you think my understanding is anything less than complete. But the nuances certainly seem to suggest that he was not jesting when he said he didn’t like women. It’s hard to imagine how he was blindsided considering she was reading directly from his book. Not like she confronted him with a secret recording of some sort. How many times does he need to say really before you would concede that just possibly he really meant what he said?

    Even conceding that his words could theoretically be taken in jest, it seems disingenuous to state that someone was basing his “perceived” aversion to black women solely on dating a white woman. He clearly stated those words and you seem to ignore that fact in your previous comment. You only now mention that you believed the words to be in jest after I commented on it. Seems you would have addressed that before if you thought it the case.

    Additionally, you are mistaken in your analysis of disdain for interracial dating. It is not at all based on such a faulty premise. My disdain for interracial dating has nothing to do with any sort of idea “that people of African heritage are imbued with benevolent qualities, while everyone else come second place.” I don’t believe that benevolent qualities are generalizable to groups of people. My disdain for IR dating comes from my disdain for seeking out as mates the very people that are advantaged by our collective disadvantage, combined with my seething hatred for white supremacy (as well as several other reasons that it would take too long to detail). It has nothing to do with beliefs about character traits.

  • paul

    Hmm!

    I have a horrible feeling that people thinks my comment pertains only to Hughly.

    wrong

    don’t get it twisted – for every male DL Hughly, there’s a female one who is just as antagnostic to black men as he is to black women.

    I’m attacking a state of mind prevalent in many black men and black WOMEN, that sees them reserve their most hostile feelings for other blacks – usually towards their opposite sex and for the reasons I gave above.

  • Kam

    Did he? Wow that’s terrible.
    Regardless, I can have no respect for this man. He announced to the world that Black women are the ugliest. And he has Black daughters. That very simple fact should tell you something about his mindset and character. It needs no defending or explaining. What kind of man would choose the words of a white racist male over the spiritual and mental health of his own offspring? One of the most basic human instincts is to defend and protect your own offspring.

  • kara

    I dont know if all black women handle it with decorum. We handle it without jumping off bridges but I would not say that black women (across the board) handle anything with decorum. Some of us do some of the time but most of us most of the time? Decorum…..wrong word.

  • Ravi

    No, I used the correct word. You just didn’t understand what I was saying. I never said “all black women handle it with decorum.” In fact, I never said how black women handled it. I said that no group would have handled it with more decorum. Whatever your feelings about the way black women have handled oppression, I believe it would have been a worse look for other groups of people.

  • __A

    Black celebrities sell out all the time for money, attention and fame. That was his way to get some attention. I never really thought he was funny, but it’s very mean to pick on people who have worked hard to accomplish a goal and make it into something nasty and take away from their accomplishment because he can’t be funny without being mean.

  • jillodelight

    Sorry, Ravi, but I burned my Mammy Cape a few years ago. Too many experiences offline and online of having BW in mass praising and excusing BM and their behavior (I was one of them) while having BM in mass continually bash BW for being *insert overused stereotype* or for being BW. Actual good BM are silent for the most part (or swiftly shut down when they do speak out)*shrug*

    What cycle? You act as though BW defending themselves against BM tarnishing their image is a normal thing. Most BW probably just laughed this off,since they’re so terrified of becoming someone BM hate, “an angry BW”. I think BW have silently taken hits for so long that good and bad BM alike are shocked when we speak candidly about their behavior, without the obligatory “I love my brothas but…” bit. You seem like a genuine person but I’m done being politically correct.

  • Mikela123

    “Black women in other parts of the world are much more likely to see themselves as sharing travails with other people. My contention is that the Black woman in America is the least likely of all to look at a global context.”

    That statement is an out-and-out complete falsehood.

    The support and acknowledgement of the Black Diaspora has been what many African Americans been pushing, trying to connect, and leading. Many African American American women are involved in connecting and reinforcing this through media, politics, etc. At least that’s what the progressive Black women are doing.

    You may be thinking of the average Black chick in the hood. But she is no more or less conscious than the average woman in rural Africa, South America or Caribbean, or eastern Europe or Russia, or Malaysia.

    Stop it. You really DON’T KNOW African American women.

  • Mikela123

    When here in the U.S. there is discrimination against non-Whites, African Americans are usually the first to speak up and stand against it- even if its against their interests since most immigrants don’t reciprocate respect and support back to the Black community.

    Black American women are involved in efforts to support other women around the world and you will see them in Public health, social service, and law.. Your lack of awareness is insulting, but typical.

    And are you saying to Black men in America are MORE globally conscious and aware. LOL.

  • thinkpink

    @paul best comment ever.

  • http://gravatar.com/ceecollegegal CeeCee

    I have never cared for D.L. Hughley; he always has something negative to say.

    I think we should just ignore him. Do not acknowledge his existence on this earth and hopefully he and his book will just go away.

  • http://theaaridan.tumblr.com MuseintheMirror

    Excuse you? How dare you say that to the ones that gave this world life? This person cannot be serious. Man, if it wasn’t for us, you wouldn’t even be here. Get out of town!

    How could you say that? I will NEVER understand why the world hates us so much.

  • Ravi

    mammy cape? not sure what that has to do with generalizing black males, but ok.

    The point is, your experiences are far to limit for you to label us all. What are we talking here, at most, a few thousand black males have bashed you from what you have seen? I’ll spot you 10,000; maybe add in another 30,000 to address the experiences of your friends. So from your direct experiences with <40k, that is enough to label close to 20 million of us? It seems as though this idea of bad black men and silent good black men is your version of "insert overused stereotype."

    I'm not silent, my friends aren't silent, and I personally know thousands more like me. You are stereotyping us in much the same way that you are complaining that you have experienced black men doing to black women. That's the cycle. you stereotype us because they stereotype you. This causes you to be less than kind to BM and then they stereotype black women to start everything all over again.

    You don't need to throw us under the bus to defend yourself. Defending yourself in this situation would be to battle the stereotyping of BW, not create more stereotypes of your own. This isn't an effective defense at all considering it will lead to more of the abuses that you are supposed to be defending against. This isn't a defense that works. I'm not acting as if defending yourself isn't normal, I'm acting as if this is a poor way of defending yourself.

    This isn't about political correctness, this is pragmatism. You say you want to defend black women's image, but what do you think I'm doing? You are attacking would be allies, by lumping us in to this view of black men that is built off of a very few from your personal experiences. This sort of generalizing is the type of thing that will perpetuate stereotypes on both ends.

  • SpkKay

    But the black woman has perhaps the greatest responsibility in history – to lead us all to a better future. It all started with her, and it will end with her.”

    This statement above is what really grinds my gears. Black women are expected to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, raise boys into men apparently even though we lack insight concerning what it means to be men because we are women, nurture the emotional, physical, & spiritual wounds of an ENTIRE community, and we better NOT think about doing all of the above without a smile on our faces or joy in our hearts. Black women are the pillars of the community, not by choice, but out of necessity, because there aren’t enough of our men willing and courageous enough to be all there is to be. Our community and the world is not lacking because the black woman is walking around angry, our community is failing due to a large number of our men leaving the responsibility of teaching manhood to boys to our women. Black women are the most resilient, strong, beautiful, & determined group of people that know. After all that a black woman has to endure in this world whether she exudes love or not, has a GED or a PhD, has a committed father to her children or a support system from a group of women from similar circumstances, black women continuously accept their reality and make the best out of what they have. How many black men are rallying behind these black women for doing what men were truly created to do versus condemning her for not walking around with a smile on her face or without a continuous spirit of servitude towards a community that’s been sucking them dry since slavery? How many black men care enough to ask black woman about the the pain and struggle she endures on a daily basis before sexually objectifying her??? Black women have been doing their part. When will black men as a whole, since we’re grouping ALL people together, take personal responsibility for their role in the demise of the black community versus making excuses or placing the blame on everyone but themselves? If it’s not a black woman, it’s the system, and everything else except the sun. Stop the madness.

  • jillodelight

    Lol how does being married to a BW give him a pass on anti-BW comments?

  • JNoire

    @Ravi Preach!

  • __A

    *Too*

  • Joy

    Beaut: To me people are insecure, and have an inferiorty complex when they bring up white women. Like a lot of women don’t like Kim Kardadian and bottomline they are jealous of her (looks) and popularity. Don’t get me wrong I think the Kardashan show is over-rated….but Kim is beautiful and lots of women feel inferior to her. Whether they will admit it or not.

  • Ephraim

    Ravi, just admit that you have a “seething hatred” for yourself, and what you just said about interracial dating is no better than something a Klansman would say about dating a black person.

    Absolutely despicable.

  • Eric

    The “white enemy devil” narrative is no longer relevant

    @Ephraim

    I was with you until you dropped this line. Racism is covert, and need to be brought to the light.

    It is not so much white people because alot of them are just beneficiaries of white supremacy/privilege.

    But focus on the men in the shadows

  • http://www.facebook.com/X23sexy Wong Chia Chi

    …I can’t with this BS today. I will say that I think he’s homosexual. Tyler Perry has that same kind of misogyny running through his movies, and he can’t even draw a strait line.

    Not to say that all homosexual people of either gender have to hate the opposite gender to be attracted to their own gender, but MANY who make comments like this are.

    The ancient Romans justified pederesty by basically making the same argument. And if I remember correctly they were a very patriarchal society.

    Black women this, black women that. Look if you don’t like us so much, leave us the hell alone and go on with your damn life!

    I’m not constantly bitching and complaining about people I can’t stand. I stay the hell away from them and don’t deal with them and live my life.

  • Concerned

    Black men don’t have that basic instinct. Sorry

  • Ephraim

    @Eric – sorry to have lost you there bud, but I stand by that comment. Alright then, focus on the men in the shadows, we don’t have white men in hoods riding from town to town anymore. Thank G-d for that.

    But then what – what comes with this “focus”? Redemption? Justice? The return to Narnia?

    Focus on yourself. I promise you will get more done.

  • __A

    @Joy – You all give Kim K. way too much credit. I have no problem with saying she is beautiful. I think many women see that, but she is very annoying, and that’s a big part of the reason why a lot of people don’t like her. I know a lot of black men like her, but a lot of non-black men don’t really like her even though she is pretty. A lot of white women hate her. I have been on mainstream sites, and anytime there is a picture of the Kardashians, the majority of the white commenters make comments about her being trashy. But when black women do the same thing, it’s because we’re hating on Kim K. for being pretty. We must be jealous. I’m sure there are some black women who are jealous, but I feel like the overwhelming majority of us find her annoying just like everyone else.

    I think her white woman comment had not much to do with the article, but you don’t have to have an inferiority complex to see all the men with good jobs and money not marrying anyone who looks like you because we are whatever stereotype that we are supposed to be today. I think you all are in denial if you think that all of these black male celebrities just happen to never date a black woman. I guess all the black groupies must be too angry and have attitudes to get one of these guys.

    I’m convinced that you are a man. You don’t think there was anything wrong with what he said. You jumped to do the black women be hatin on Kim K. and white women thing because we’re jealous. You said BW are angry. You’re a man or either very male identified.

  • Ephraim

    I’m an angry black man …

    Lol. I guess the world owes you something. Maybe you can spew enough venomous poison here, influence the mind of some impressionable woman, convince her that you really “get her”, and score yourself a date offline.

    This has to be one of the most pathetic comments I have ever read online. Unfortunately, cue up the pluses for your comment and the minuses for mine. You found just the right topic and forum to mine.

  • Ephraim

    Mikaela123

    I was gonna get on the defensive, but you are absolutely right and I was wrong to make that statement. I owe Leelah an apology also by extension. Many African-American women have been vigilant leaders in the movement to raise consciousness levels among the Black diaspora. I forgot that fact for a second.

    I guess I am most upset by the “hood chick” mentality that takes away from those efforts while also letting black women become easy targets.

    Oh yah, not to mention the confused “angry” hood rats like Ravi that enable them.

  • Ephraim

    Ravi – I think you and Lol might have something here. Seems like your incoherent hate-babbling really struck a chord here. You’re a success – a real shining example for black men everywhere.

    What a joke.

  • Mike

    Black women don’t have a black man problem. Black women have a MAN problem.

    It’s easy to dismiss BLACK men issues with you. However it’s much more difficult and requires much more reflection if you acknowledge ALL men have an issue with you’re specific gender. Whatever a black man says about black women, as a group, White, Hispanic and Asian men, as a group, say things and have an opinion of black women that’s 10 times worst. Everyone can’t be wrong.

  • Mike

    When someone shows you who they are, believe it. He’s been married to a black woman for 26 years! I’m pretty sure she hasn’t had a job most off those years. That alone should give him some type of benefit of doubt. In a black womans eyes, I guess not.

    Some of these comments about D.L.are downright childish. REALITY CHECK!!! What kind of man do you say you want again? Provider, honest, loyal, intelligent, decent looking, sense of humor, good communicator. Keep looking, Ms. Perfect, I’m sure you’ll find him.

  • C

    Why are there so many black men who dislike on this website? They come here only to say negative things and that is all. They almost never comment on the positive articles, and when they do, it is still a negative comment. For some people not to like black women, they sure do make an effort to use spaces where the majority of people are black women. I wonder are these same people using their time to write essays to ‘guide’ black boys and men.

  • http://clutchmagazine blcknnblv

    i have to give it to you Paul best comment I ever read…ever

  • Lady P

    I have to make time to read this article today as well as the comments. Hmm…interesting!

  • hmmmmm

    “I’m attacking a state of mind prevalent in many black men and black WOMEN, that sees them reserve their most hostile feelings for other blacks – usually towards their opposite sex and for the reasons I gave above.”

    Word.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mshenry70 Kathy Henry

    Why is anyone surprised by this? He is an unattractive, short little man who is still mad at the girls in high school who wouldn’t give him the time of day. We as black women need to stop worrying about who likes us and worry about ourselves. I do not need any validation from no man!

  • Ravi

    Whatever makes you feel better about your inability to competently discuss something with someone you don’t agree. Your inability to keep from getting personal betrays the true lack of competence that your fancy words and false bravado attempt to hide. A sad yet predictable response to having your argument torn to shreds. Congratulations, you are mediocre.

  • Ravi

    Never said the world owes me anything. I’m more than capable of taking what I want from the world. There is nothing in my words that would even remotely constitute spewing venom. Your sad ad hominem attacks would be considered such. I’m thinking you might projecting, little man.

    And you could use some work on your insults. At least try to make it funny. You might even get a few pluses if you think really hard and come up with some witty retort. Now go somewhere quiet and work on your feelings of inadequacy that cause you to go around comment sections and randomly insult people. Or how about you actually try to refute something I said.

  • Ravi

    so’s your face.

  • Real Talk

    Ok, ok. You want a positive comment about black women. This is as real as it’s going to get.

    Men don’t hate black women. Men actually hate/don’t respect hoodrats and baby mamas. The problem is almost all black women promote, defend and glorify the hoodrat baby mama lifestyle and mentality. To the point that’s almost impossible to separate the two. When was the last time you saw white women glorifying, promoting and defending white trash? They don’t. They separate themselves from it and, as a matter of fact, are the biggest critics of that type of behavior and lifestyle. You can’t have it both ways black women.

  • Perspective

    Here we come with the predictable dismissal from sistas.

    Seriously speaking – many many brothas feel the way he doesn’t that love their mothers and the black women in their family – but beyond that – they could careless about black women as a group

    Much of what he said is spot on

    “HUGHLEY: I don’t like the way they process – no, I don’t. I enjoy their company. I do not like the way that they reason. You can’t understand them.”

    The way women reason is bad. The way BW reason is AWFUL.

    If you all aren’t even going to listen to a black man who is married to a black woman and has two black daughters – then there really isn’t much hope for most sistas – out of all brothas to listen to rather than the young bergs and slim thugs – u’d think a black man married a black woman with 2 black daughters would be the one.

    And I agree – pretending that there isn’t a problem is a disservice to black women.

  • Perspective

    I can see black women are not listening on this page – and have brothas on NIGNORE and can’t take criticism so – I’m just not going to bother.

    Commence with co-signing each other to death.

  • Ms. Write

    He obviously has issues with himself that he hasn’t addressed yet.

  • Real Talk

    What!?!! You can’t be serious. Who do you think really wish they could have a do over? Some black chick he was chasing and crushing on in H.S. who’s probably still in the hood and has a baby daddy that she can’t stand or D.L. Hugley. A hollywood celebrity millionaire and married for 26 years?

    If he wants it, I’m sure he’s got plenty of certified bangers trying to get with him. He is not concerned about some ghetto prom queen who is now 25 years older and has put on 30 to 50+ pounds. The absurdity of it all………..

  • Ms. Write

    Side note: I don’t understand why people jump on a website obviously geared toward women of color to spew their misogynistic and skewed views on black women. There are no safe spaces…smh.

  • Anthony

    DL Hughly seems to bwe one of those people who is perceptive and sensitive when it comes to things that discriminate against him (race,)
    but who is blissfully clueless about things that hurt others (sexism.)

    In my eyes, such a big blindspot weakens his values greatly as any sort of social commentator.

  • hookemhorns

    I wasn’t aware that I am analogous to a hood rate baby mama. Thanks for sharing.

  • YiaYia

    No surprise here. Black men hate black women with a passion and now they have platforms to make this fact known.

    DL and many other black males are spewing their vitriol through the airwaves, especially on these MR blogs that they share with men of other races and they run through the black women with no heart. To the point that they will deal lightly with white men calling them all kindsa names in the book. Just as long as they can say what they want to say about black women, and praise the non-black woman to their hearts content.

    Get on an all black male blog, and you’ll wish that you never did.

    Trust, I’m not surprised by this, and neither should ya’ll on this blog be.

    Say what ya want, but black men do hate black women.

  • hookemhorns

    amen.

  • DB

    “The problem is almost all black women promote, defend and glorify the hoodrat baby mama lifestyle and mentality.”

    Your circle of black women apparently isn’t large enough to make this judgment. Also a “baby mama” doesn’t become one by herself and the hood mentality isn’t exclusive to her. If you view the white counterpart of the same situation, the result is the same and is linked to poverty, education level etc.

  • Eric

    The walls are closing in for you black itches. You have gotten more than enough warnings.

  • jillodelight

    Yep, notice their self esteem gets boosted by tearing ours down? Non-BW are just used as a tool against BW. It never really has anything to do with non-BW actually. It’s always all about them and telling BW how popular they are among women, just to feel superior to BW. They don’t care anymore or less about non-BW lol It’s so obvious. There are as many non-BW baby mamas as there are BW baby mamas. A lot of them just use interracial relationships as a vanity project.

  • jillodelight

    Lol Take your jihad elsewhere. Your lame little battle is a little misdirected: shouldn’t you be competing against other men for social dominance, financially and economically, instead blaming BW for your cowardice and laziness? I know that would require actual work but your life would be more productive in the long run ( you wouldn’t have time to troll BW magazines). Good luck, dude.

  • jillodelight

    Lol BW don’t give a crap about what other races of men think about us (we’re pretty neutral about non-BM, it’s all on an individual basis) and we all know by now that BM have issues with BW because they’re insecure about their own masculinity. BM aren’t protecting or providing for BW in mass, so we don’t have to take misogyny from BM, simply because they’re Black lol It’s not our fault the majority of you refuse to compete with other men for social dominance, financially and economically. You save all energy to blame “de evil WM” and BW. You know there are tons of anti-BW sites you could be on right now, why are you on a pro-BW site bashing BW? Lame!

  • jillodelight

    Thank you! Our lives don’t have revolve around men we don’t even know liking us.

  • jillodelight

    Sorry, but :”advice” from most BM is always thinly veiled misogyny. Read the comments, NOBODY wants a man like D.L. BM have everything they want right now: no responsibility to the black community,BW or children, they get to be coddled and protected and they can have a harem of women at your disposal yet BM are STILL miserable and angry and feel they need to boost their egos at the expense of BW by coming into OUR spaces to tell us how we could make them more happy *smh*

  • http://getme-lolly.blogspot.com getmelolly

    DL, why do this? I just don’t get his reasons for being so negative about an entire gender and race.

    Has he considered that maybe he is the reason why the women (who happen to be black) in his life are angry. If he had a white wife and mixed daughters, maybe they would still be angry!

    CLUTCH, PLEASE STOP GIVING ARTICLES LIKE THIS ROOM AND SPACE. CHEERS

  • jillodelight

    HAHAHAHAHA! This was hilarious. Google “Slutwalk” and think again about WW not defending bad behavior lol How delusional. WW defend their right to be sluts ALL the time. They’re the face of the porn industry for gawds sakes. They are STILL after three decades the primary beneficiaries of affirmative action and welfare. When WW become single mothers we all know they consider it empowering, so please. They can even get away with killing their children or sexual misconduct simply because their WW (they’ll find some psychological problem with a quickness) The only reason they get away with “bad” behavior is because their put on a pedestal by one of the most powerful groups in the world, WM. Your delusions about WW would be welcome on Storm Front but not a pro-BW magazine lol This made my day :) BM are crazy.

    As for BW and baby mamahood, most BW are devoted to the idea of having Black children so they’ve lowered their expectations to satisfy the majority of BM who are uninterested in legitimizing their offspring through marriage. Most BM can’t give up an unlimited supply of poon DUH! It’s not rocket science.

  • jillodelight

    Why should BW have to listen to random BW bashers on a BW website? lol The arrogance, that we’re obligated to listen to you because your a BM *smh*

  • YiaYia

    @Eric:

    Take your bitter azz to a bitter black male blog. Your words mean nothing since that’s what most of you bitter idiots do best.

    NOTHING!

  • http://www.facebook.com/schlonte.mcgee Schlonte’ McGee

    Seems accurate to me.

  • Ms. Write

    Amen!

  • Treece

    You know what, there are an awful lot of misguided black men out here. When I say misguided, what I mean is that they are intent upon associating with a certain type of woman on a constant basis, and then using her example as a prototype for all women. Or, you have men that were done wrong once (maybe twice) by some evil bitch (maybe momma, auntie, grandma) and they move through life with a monster sized chip on thier shoulder. Then they have the nerve to write books, articles, give interviews, etc having no clue what women in general really are. Have absolutely no f***ing clue who women really are, despite the fact that they have daughters or wives. I give you Mr. D.L. Hughley…

    Let me just say this so that it can be understood by all men (ahem): YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND US ALL BECAUSE WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT! ….just like everyone is different from everyone else, regardless of gender. So making blanket statements like “I don’t like women because I don’t like they way they think” is ignorant and absolutely ridiculous! For instance, I don’t even like the way SOME women think just like I don’t like the way SOME men think. This degrading, “one size fits all” thinking when it come to relationships between men and women is deeply troubling. Especially within the black community. Many of us aren’t even interested in understanding each other anymore. Instead of trying to understand the women that are right in front of u (or that live in your home, or that share your DNA) you’re too busy trying to relate them to some other bi***es from your past back when your feelings got hurt. Not right at all…

    And, did u ever stop to think Mr.Hughley that the reason Black women stay so “angry” is because we have to put up w/ bull like this from ppl like you? Judgement from all sides and forced to always take a stance of defense at every turn against stereotypes, discrimination, and pure fu**ery Like this? Not to say that all of us walk around with scowls on our faces, but could you blame us if we did?

  • jillodelight

    *sigh* I’m having a hard time understanding you, to be honest. This anti-BW misogyny by BM has being going on for like 3 decades so I know I’m not blindly stereotyping BM. It’s the reality of millions of BW in America and we put up with it EVERYDAY. We can’t even go on sites geared towards us without BM following us online, who feel it’s our duty to hear their “advice” ( really just thinly veiled misogyny), I’m referring to the blatant anti-BW comments on here from trolls. I don’t feel the need to put good BM on pedestal or censor myself about the behavior of the majority of BM that I and other BW see and experience everyday. As for attacking “would be allies”,BW have avoided calling out bad behavior for decades because we wanted to believe that good BM were the norm and we didn’t want scare off them off. NONE of this has helped BW in the long run and more and more are accepting reality. Like I said in another comment, twisting ourselves into pretzels, trying to appear unfazed by bs directed at us has not helped BW AT ALL. People just take even more advantage of our “strength” and continue on.

    You say you know thousands like yourself but I never see or hear about you guys in mass. I’ve seen a few guys address misogyny in hip hop but it always goes back to blaming “the WM”. Any abhorrent behavior BM direct at BW suddenly becomes a global issue between men and women in general *eyeroll*. I never see you guys campaigning against anti-BW sites, or demanding that Youtube do something about anti-BW videos, 98% of which are posted by “the brothas”. Do you go on anti-BW sites and chastise BM the way your chastising me?

  • http://gravatar.com/chanela17 chanela17

    so THAT’s why his name is DL.lol

  • jillodelight

    “He’s free to have his opinions about women, and I’m free to have mine about him.”
    Thank you! He’s not a baby.

  • Ravi

    anti-BW misogyny has been going on for many centuries. This is nothing new and BM surely did not invent it. Neither of us can accurately speak on the experiences of millions of BW that we don’t know or interact with. The BW I know personally have no such complaints of the constant and persistent threat of BM because they choose to surround themselves with positive people.

    I’m not saying you haven’t experienced the negativity of BM nor am I denying the evident misogyny on display on this very site. Clearly, I haven’t been silent on the subject if you take a look at what I’ve said in other comments. I’ve been taking the trolls to task just as you have, but the difference is that you are generalizing this as the behavior of most black men. The views of these fools doesn’t characterize us as a group no more than the venom being spewed by BW towards BM that is just as evident characterizes all BW.

    No one is suggesting that you put anyone on a pedestal, but attacking entire groups of people that you have no logical basis to lump together doesn’t help either. Avoiding attacking allies doesn’t mean you don’t call out bad behavior. You probably have no problem calling out bad behavior with other groups without attributing that behavior to the entire population. When a BW or WM acts a fool, are you saying this is all BW or WM? I’m saying to take people on an individual basis, not refrain from attacking people that do you harm.

    You say you haven’t seen the black men that I speak of, but have you been looking? You claim I’m chastising you, but I’ve gone out of my way to show that I’m on the same side. Read my other comments and see who I’ve really been chastising. I’m getting attacked on here just like you are. I just recognize that the BS that they are spewing is only representative of ignorant people, not all of us.

  • Ephraim

    You guys are all so hilarious. I logged back in here just to see if the level of discourse had risen any. Regrettably, not the case.

    I’m going to speak for myself here. I’m a man of African heritage, not some nameless “BM” lol .. and I love black women. I made some comments earlier that were not right, and I retract them. But I just want to make it clear that the very same mob-mentality and “us vs the world” attitude that plagues SOME black women is exactly what DL is talking about.

    Take this last comment – I’m sure you have your moments Treece where you are a wonderful person. But your comment is dripping with bitterness, anger, animosity, and tragically, you fall victim to this “shared DNA” narrative that is going to be the bane of the existence for many until you get rid of it.

    You share DNA with the human race! If your experiences with black males have so far been negative, there are thousands of Asian, European, and Middle Eastern men just chomping at the bit to be given a chance.

    I can only imagine the -27 or lower rating this comment of mine will go on to receive, but for the love of G-d my beautiful ladies … can’t you see the madness cannot continue?

    The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

    Elevate the discourse. Elevate your worldview. At no time in history has it been more critical.

    Don’t even do it for yourself – do it for Clutch Magazine. This is one of the few well-branded, amazingly curated black-female focused properties on the web today. The mindset that one commenter had before “this is a haven for Black Women, can’t we have this space to vent?”

    NO. The world is watching. Granted, most of us are anonymous here, but you have no idea whats at stake. Always represent yourself like a Michelle Obama – constantly aware that eyeballs are on her and that she has a responsibility to portray what a black woman really is – a strong, resilient, beautiful creature who can adapt to anything thrown at her. Anything.

    A storm is coming. Only the strong will survive. Mitt freaking Romney might be the next President of your country.

  • Beautiful Mic

    His wife must be Samoan or something…

  • Beautiful Mic

    Maybe she’s mixed race.

  • Ephraim

    Really Eric?

    Granted, my opening comment is enough for me to be labelled a hypocrite. But I am no bitter black woman hater – I really do love my mother and sister dearly and would fight to the death for them. I just would love to eradicate the mindless “hood chick” mentality into oblivion where it belongs.

    I was wrong in some of my comments that “African-American women are more likely to not look at things from a global context” earlier. One commenter put me in my place and I realized “wow, how can I say that about women like Angela Davis or Maya Angelou who fought so hard for women everywhere? She’s right.”

    The greatest among us have the ability to change their minds effortlessly. Remember that. It’s something that has aided me greatly in business.

    But this is the type of exchange that is just so terrible for our community. If I have done anything to enable this, I retract any and all statements.

    You can’t call them “black bitches” dude. Not sure if you got the memo.

  • beks

    write a book. no, PLEASE, write a book. lord if this isn’t THE dam point.

  • Z

    D.L. Hugley doesn’t like women? Why do y’all care?

  • Christopher

    I could not get through this and no I don’t want to hear it. I don’t agree with D.L confused that he would say something so dumb and couldn’t back it up in anyway.

  • http://www.facebook.com/miguel.collins Miguel Collins

    My patience with women in general is reserved for my wife and daughter, only. After I got married, my views on all other women mirror DL Hughleys.

  • African Mami

    hey Paul,

    Guess what, we are on the same wavelength today. Glory be to the Most High. Your comment shut this post down. NICE.

  • Jay Cee

    D.L. is the new white man’s n—-r. White people are always referring to “the angry Black woman.” D.L. is just mimicking that.

  • Z

    BW need to divorce themselves from the opinions of BM. Stop having a knee-jerk reaction whenever some idiot has something to say. Once we do that there will be a whole lot less “angry” BW.

  • Joy

    Real your comments are right on point. I’m sure it’s making (some) women mad; but (some) women don’t like to hear the truth

  • Joy

    -A: Thanks….my point precisely

  • M. Smith

    To think he would defend a man calling his two daughters,nappy headed ho’s. Black girls act hard and mean to shield their feelings from the pain that words like that cause. They act tough because there’s been no men insisting that men treat them with respect. Young black women acting like that because even as little girls,there are always boys and men calling them ugly names because they’re not white with straight hair. D L H is now one of the ugliest men on earth to me. Out of the mouth, the heart speaks. What about the women who gave birth to him, was she a nappy headed ho?

  • M. Smith

    He thinks he got famous and rich all by him self does he? He forgot what and where he came from,and he needs a reminder. No black woman should ever pay to see him again in life. You made him, now unmake him.

  • LMO85

    You sound like an ignorant fool and I feel sorry for your wife and kid. WHY ARE YOU HERE? Go away Troll.

  • Ravi

    Not sure if you are just that out of touch with black folks or just confused, but even your insults aren’t making sense.

    “hood rat?” Do you know what the term even means? No amount of money in the world can keep you from being lame. Please stop embarrassing yourself. Maybe you can pay someone to write you some decent material.

  • Felicia J.

    Absolute truth! Females of other races are protected and revered by their men. Not us, so you have to be harder when everyone including your own race puts you down. All those little girls who were told they were princesses behave in like fashion.

  • Barbara2

    @Ephraim

    Those “angry hood rats” are our children, both boys and girls. They are human beings! Who is taking care that these little Black girls are reared properly? Her mother/father?

    Not all little Black girls are as fortunate as I was to have a father who protected, nutured (and whipped my butt once). It made all the difference in my life as a woman.

  • http://gravatar.com/aedivine aedivine

    I heard this on the radio when it aired,I just looked at my mother like “wtf is he talking about?!” this man is very confused…and down right ignorant. DL please do not ever write another book. in your life. please.

  • M. Smith

    And that money of his won’t stop some man from calling his two little girls nappy headed ho’s one day either. Maybe his mother called him nappy head one to many times.

  • M. Smith

    What about before you got married, Couldn’t you find any nice women that wanted to date you except your wife. Do you have to work with women, if so, I predict you will have a gender discrimination suit file against you one day. I hope they become aware of your posting for evidence.

  • Jane

    Ironically DL (and black males like him) comes off as the angry one. Passive aggressive as a mutha. Did his mama beat him with a hot iron or something? He can’t seem to contain his anger at black women — jumps at any chance to slander the sisters.

  • Nicole

    I dont know about you all, but D.L. Hughley and other black men who share his viewpoint have liberated me. I feel free to be myself,love myself even if I get angry sometimes. I will never be a Becky. I used to love and defend black men at all costs. Kinda like Angie Stones “Black Brotha” song, but now I know the deal. They hate themselves and it hurts them when we have the nerve to get upset about the lying and cheating and being financially irresponsible. It’s easy to understand me D.L, just do what you say, mean what you say, have a little compassion and take care of your business financially and I”m all good.

  • Jane

    I am confused by black men who moan about black women being angry. Who is shooting each other up in the streets every weekend? Black men.

    Black women get angry, say some words worst case scenario get into a slapfight and leave, still alive. Black men get angry and pull weapons-people, including innocents, end up dead. They throw punches and boots at women for asking them to leave. So I’ll throw the question back to DL why are some black men so angry AND violent?

  • Jane

    I wonder the same, but deep down I know the answer , either a) they grew up around all women and can’t fit in with other men so feel the need to sit around with other women all the time or b) are so insecure with themselves that they get a twisted satisfaction with coming to BW sites to try to “put us in our place” or c) can’t stand to not be in the presence of strong black women, even online. I just scroll on past male posts because I come here specifically to hear the opinions and thoughts of other black women.

    I wouldn’t in a million years hang around a mostly male blog attacking men for their opinions. How silly is that

  • This black woman asks…

    What kind of women will his daughters grow up to be, having been raised by a man who doesn’t like women and a woman who supports that view of herself and her daughters. What is his son learning from this example? I find DLH in general quite sad.

  • simplyme

    Have you ever thought that maybe women wouldn’t be so angry if people like him would cease to exist (or at least stop speaking in public)?

    Heres a not so secret secret about women…we respond to the way we’re treated. Whether its by an individual or a group or society as a whole. We’re pretty simple. Bitterness begets bitterness. Anger begets anger. Disrespect begets disrespect. Love begets love. Affection begets affection. Make a woman laugh you’ve made her day. Make her feel special you’ve made her week. Disrespect a woman, you’ve put her guards up. And sadly some women now have those guards up for life. It really isn’t that hard. No one should have to live their life in constant defense of themselves because of their gender and skin color. Black women are indeed an easy target and he knows it. As long as he makes incendiary comments like this to sell his book he’ll keep seeing “angry Black women” to further his point. I feel sorry for his wife and daughters.

  • Luci

    Co-Signed.
    Women have ALWAYS been characterized as mysterious, whimsical, unknowable basketcases. Create a new meme and I might listen.

    And the truth is that we tell men what we want, clearly and concisely, all the time. It’s just that when they find themselves unwilling or unable to fulfill our desires, they decide that we can’t possibly mean what we say. Somehow, “I want you to help with the housework” is just too confusing for the widdle man brains.

  • df

    i think any woman that read this would be angry

  • df

    This is sick. Does that wall include your mother, sisters and possible future daughters?

  • Echi

    I personally don’t get it. I’ve been perusing through these comments from time to time and I’ve noticed an increasing vocal minority of men who come on sites meant for women of color and feel the need to get heavily invested in the conversation. I totally respect the opinions of women I don’t agree with and have nothing against them. However, I guess I missed the memo which endorsed “participation in women-centric sites,” as a veritable pasttime for some young black men. I have from time to time appreciated well-worded, but limited, input from men in the comments section. But when I see 3, 4, 5 responses from the same guy or an almost stalkerish desire to respond to every comment, I have to scratch my head sometimes.

    You know there was a time when men who stuck their nose into women’s gossip/conversations were seen as useless ne’er do wells, by the wider society. I guess times have changed.

  • cocopuffs

    men dont like womens ways women dislike mens ways
    i understand what hes saying however
    im a woman and i am attracted to men and only men however
    they get on my damn nerves

  • cocopuffs

    but um………the whole don imus thing his defense of him
    this is why men period get on my damn nerves
    men say we are confusing but alot of the times they say some backwards ish

  • Ono

    Eh. It’s DL Hughley, the “King of Comedy” still out here trying to find himself. This is like us caring what Gallagher thinks. DL’s time has come and gone. He keeps saying silly things and we need to be honest about the fact that nobody is checking for him like that.

  • Spinsterlicious

    I’m not offended by DL’s comments or his thinking. I don’t take it personally because he doesn’t know me. And I kinda get his point, from the male perspective and I suspect lots of men think like he does. What I hear him saying is “women are really different from men and I wish they weren’t.” I wish he hadn’t defended Don Imus but I know that DL really believes people should say whatever they want. And there are a lot of angry black women out there. Not all of us are, but I do wish the guilty ones could tone it down.
    Eleanore Wells, Author, The Spinsterlicious Life

  • M. Smith

    Don’t think he’d recognize you as different from other black women, You are just another nappy headed ho to him. He doesn’t care if you are angry or not, you are still ugly to him my dear. Don’t be so tolerant at getting his point that you are actually empty headed. I don’t care about his point, I care about those young basketball players that had to go out on that floor and play knowing they were looked upon as something lesser than human. If you are not offended,for the position they were in, then you have no fellow feeling. Those girls weren’t guilty of anything, but you are guilty of thinking to much of yourself…

  • M. Smith

    He doesn’t know you is right. I bet he didn’t know those young basketball players either.

  • Treece

    Any bitterness and anger I feel (or felt) while making this comment has to do with DL and those men like him who espouse utter foolishness from their mouths when discussing gender relations with absolutely no clue of which they speak. ANY man who claims to know women well enough to say that they do not like them (mind you, he did not differentiate when he made this statement) is a fool. Point blank period. Why should I not be angry and have a bitter tone, sir?

    When I made the sharing DNA comment, I was referring to the fact that he implied that he didn’t even like his own daughters because they are female….I think you misread that part.

    I’ll also say that I have a very wide world view of people. I am pretty well versed on the cultures of the world and I am the least likely among my peers to be bigoted against anyone. I love men. I really do. Men of all race creeds and colors. What I cant stand is male chauvinistic a-holes that go shooting off at the mouth about how they don’t like women because of the “way we think”, as if we all think the same way. This man is raising daughters and has a wife (whom he also said he doesn’t like…). WTF??? So excuse me for being a little hot Mr. Ephraim.

    And another point I forgot to mention in my first post: Why is a woman who had birthed two babies by a man whom she calls her husband putting up with this foolishness? I know, I know. It’s probably for the money, but it still f***ing boggles my mind what utter bull**** a woman will put up with for a check. If any man I call my husband comes out and tells the world he doesn’t like me or my children, why the hell am I still with his sorry ass? Just Tom-foolery, all around…i’m done. #dropsthemic

  • Keepitreal

    OMG, Yes, and it shocks me that it is allowed by administrators. I thought this was a space for women to discuss issues relating to us not a safe haven for male trolls to freely attack women? I have seen this play out on gossip sites as well as, get this…. black woman hair sites. And for the ” but but they do it too ” crew, EFF No, they don’t, only time you’ll see WM on a woman centric site is if he is a gay male and he damn well does not bash women. And these same MFers wonder why *some* BW have to be angry about.

  • citykat

    The interviewer actually made his point by her line of questioning. She clearly had an agenda but i think men in general dont get women and we get offended by it but we need to be ok with it instead of trying to beat them verbally about it cuz we dont get them either. Its ok..its not a bad thing its just life.

    As far as being targeted black women target themselves when they cheer angry black women on tv…when they support homewreckers but will slice someone over a man. When black women wear hair from other races and crack on another black woman for not jelling down her sandpaper edges. Reading black websites i have seen black women denigrate each other in such self loathing manner that its no different than breathing and i dont see black women going at each other about doing that. Kissing kim kardashians butt while slinging insults at beyonce…smh.

    I get what he is saying and i think he has a right to say it. Furthermore he didnt agree with Imus he made that clear he went to the extreme of pointing Imus comments out to underscore our rights to free speech. His argument wouldnt have been as strong if he had supported someone he agreed with. He supports rights not comments not the persin.

    As far as black women being in charge i agree and i commend him on being married so long. My husband has said he dont want to be married after me lol. Im a black woman and i get it…look at what black women have been pressured into evolving into. Read the comments on this blog, the attacks for those who dont agree. I see angry black women being upprrcutted, hit with grill cleaners and jumping over tables tossing wine bottles. This isnt fiction its real. The question is how do we as a people turn it around.

    And dont lie to urself and say you dont know an angry black woman or you havent been an angry black woman at some point cuz life in general will make it happen.

  • Cocochanel31

    DL is such a cornball. Why do we care what he says/likes??? I’m glad his wife is married to him to deal with HIS foolishness! smh.

  • Bella

    I know I’ll get tons of negative comments for this, but can I just say, that looking at a collection of the comments and attacks black women on this website alone make at each other, it sometimes does prove the stereotype of angry black women. I def disagree with Hugley or however you spell his name, but websites like this should be a forum for educated discussion about our community and sometimes many of the women on here prove the negative stereotypes of black women. Either way, he shouldn’t even get airtime on this website.

  • Nicole

    I sleep very well thank you. I’m curious, do u consider urself a good catch?? Are you a good man?? What makes you so different and special?? Everyone has flaws including “THE GREAT BLACK MAN”. I’ll take the stereotype of being an angry black woman over the stereotype of being a black man any day i.e. deadbeat dads, sex obsessed, cheaters,criminals, financially irresponsible, dumb and arrogant. In the future I’ll bet there will be just as many “angry white women” who have to deal with the foolishness.

  • http://gravatar.com/dginki Kim

    I’m sure you hate your wife and daughter.

  • http://gravatar.com/dginki Kim

    You have got to be kidding. Just another Zombie. SMDH.

  • http://gravatar.com/dginki Kim

    You can’t even make it work with other races. That is because just like some black women, some black men have deep seated issues that they refuse to address. You come across as one of those men.

  • sbee3

    You do realize, if you are a black woman, that you are referring to yourself as well, right? Because this society views the behavior and culture of the black community as monolithic. I know too many black women (including in the online community) that defy this stereotype to allow any negative comments on any comment board on any website be allowed to represent the rule, and support any wide ranging, generalization or stereotype about black women to unchallenged.

  • Shane, GPHR

    The anger black women display is natural to them, a result of the backwards sub-culture most black American women are raised in. This sub-culture creates women who can be masculine, loud, disrespectful and irresponsible. DL and those like him are not the causes of the anger issues many black women have. They are innocent by-standers who have the misfortune to be near these vicious beasts when they are in their foul moods. The fact that you would try to pass the buck in regards to blk women and their anger issues only helps to reinforce the stereotype that black women refuse to accept responsibility for their actions and that they are damaged goods. It only shows how many black women will make a bad choice and yet still try to play the victim card.

    We’re not out targeting black women, most of us don’t want to have anything to do with them and are doing what we can to avoid dealing with black women. The anger issues most BW have are internal and these poor women need treatment

  • Caramel

    Hey, I am a woman and I can’t stand women!!! LOL!!! In my lifetime, I have had only one true friend who is a woman and we don’t talk every day, so I can relate. So many women play games instead of being their true selves when it comes to men. They also always want to be right about everything! everything is not either black or white, their is a whole lot of in between. Sadly he has never met a true confident sister who is not trying to compete with her man!

  • Blue

    His personality is of that only a mother can love. I never really liked this guy. He seems extremely ignorant to me so his opinion doesn’t matter. I won’t buy that book. I have better things to do with my money than support this clown.

  • Caramel

    Oh, and has anyone noticed that Jewish women tend to have attitude for days!?!?!?!?!? The must be angry also.

  • M. Smith

    There are always those that think they are the exception to the rule, not realizing it’s not all about them. It’s about young black girls that need to realize their worth as a human being, about a black basketball team of young educated women, that deserve respect. Some of the, I’m special, I’m not included in the disrespect. are not concerned with the mental health of young women, because it’s all about them. They are totally ego. These silly gooses think D. L. would view them equal to his wife, A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.. We are not angry, but intelligent people that have the foresight to see how this can effect young black women growing up, Let’s keep the conversation going, and consider these superior women irrelevant,(having no value) in this debate.

  • Nomadic1

    Becuase what he said was not anit-bw

  • Nomadic1

    He’s married to a BW, who he has been married to for 26 years! And is raising a family with.

    BM like him? Shouldnt you want a BM like him.

    WOw, your comment is provong all the things he said and what other BM say

  • Eric

    @Nikki

    I am the best thing that ever happened to women. Double that for BW

  • Nicole

    @Carmel, not only Jewish women, how about Italian women,Filipino women, African women, Polish women and Irish women,Puerto Rican women, Eastern European women??

  • Nicole

    @Eric… Smiling… I hope your right because at the end of the day I love men.. especially black men.

  • Anya

    Expect more of the same in the coming future, black women.

    Black men are making it known exactly how they feel about ya’ll, and it ain’t too loving.

  • http://lauren-simpson.com L.

    Hypothetically, why wouldn’t black women be angry? We give birth to boys who grow up to proclaim they don’t like us or any of our kind. His comments are ignorant. Nothing more.

  • Bella

    Lol ok ermmmm if you thought I was referring to every black woman, you were wrong. Obviously I’m not referring to every black woman. That’s absurd and ignorant. But like I said, if you look around at some comments on this website, there are several women proving this ‘angry’ stereotype.

    For instance “silly goose”? Really? Grow up. I’m actually a young black woman, and I don’t allow comments like the aforementioned ones to bother me because I actually am knowledgeable of my self-worth. I don’t think we should continue letting men define black women and I certainly don’t think we should allow their word to hold any power if it serves no positive purpose.

    It’s fine if many of you feel that my word holds no value, but honestly, I know many black women who are turned off of commenting because of the back and forth negativity and separation in some of these discussions…anyway carry on

  • citykat

    Lol name calling insulting just plain angry wit any one that disagrees….let me see….ur angry…your black…your a woman. Perhaps u been shaking ur head too hard you may want to stop doing that. Y prove his point?

  • African Mami

    I am on my death bed with tears of laughter! Ephraim, did you just call my dude Ravi, a hoodrat?!?!

  • monastic_one

    I was told once that what you hate most in others is really what you see most in yourself.

    D.H. Hughley is a short high pitched, eye-rolling, lip smacking, neck swirling effeminate whatnot with a bad attitude. His popularity among whites is only because he makes black men appear less.

  • Josette

    That’s right. Just ask Heidi Klum, Tiger Wood’s wife and look at our own POTUS father who left his white mother. White women dont say it out loud but a lot of them go through hell with black men.

  • kara

    We’re not out targeting black women, most of us don’t want to have anything to do with them and are doing what we can to avoid dealing with black women.

    Then why are you here posting?

  • edub

    ” I actually am knowledgeable of my self-worth.”

    BOOM. Precisely.

  • edub

    What? So now black women have additional burdens? We can’t define ourselves? We can’t believe that we are something other than what DL Hughley describes us to be? We can’t be proudly superior? We are all equal? Is that what you are saying?Are you saying that confident women who don’t care to define them selves according to some sorry black man are driven by ego?

    What’s impacting young black girls more than anything is the LACK of a proper family unit. The foundation of a girl’s esteem comes from her parents and is furthered by her own abilities. Life does not hand you a plate of “feeling good” you gotta earn it.

    You want to improve the esteem of black women, you start by procreating with a man with values who will go to the ends of the earth to protect his family. You build a family where there is premium value on education and advancement so she can depend on her laurels as opposed to what some man has to say about her.

    Black folks have the worst priorities in the world.

  • M. Smith

    I think this will settle the issue. If Imus had said of a mens basketball team, those boys are a bunch of nappy headed, ho mongering, tattooed up, bucks & giggaboos, Hugley would have tapped danced on Imus head like a pigmy ape. The black men defended Hugley now, would have been blowing and beating their chest like silver back gorillas. And the women that defend them, would have been been screeching like a marauding band of chimps. (How does that feel to you fellas, and their female counter-parts? If what they said didn’t offend you, then what I just posted shouldn’t offend you either. After all, I don’t know you, right. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I plead my case. But I say this, “CASE CLOSED”

  • mdottwo

    Dear Black People, black comedians have been used to deliver a specific component of media propaganda that has done more to harm the image of African Americans in general, and to promote misogyny towards black women than any other group of black men.

    First, have you ever heard any comedian from any other ethnic group say negatives things about the women from his/her indigenous group? Have you ever heard a Jewish comedian refer to Jewish women as ugly? Have you ever heard an Italian comedian call Italian women tacky? No not in my long years of imbibing American media have I heard any other group of men routinely, consistently deride, degrade, and defame the women of their own ethnicity, like the black comedian.

    It started with J.J. on “Good Times” calling his character sister Thelma in the series “ugly.” Then came Red Foxx who not only introduced the word “n****h” to American television audiences, but also made a TV career out of calling his fellow cast character, Aunt Esther “ugly.” All brought to us by way of the manipulative white producer.

    Then came Flip Wilson in drag, presenting his “the more man than woman” character Geraldine. Which was the beginning of a long list of black male actors in drag feminizing the image of black men and simultaneously stripping black women of their God-given femininity: Jamie Foxx(Wanda), Martin Lawrence(Shenehneh & Big Momma), the Wayan Brothers(Venus & Serena),Eddie Murphy(Raspushia), Wesley Snipes(Noxema Jackson),Miguel Nunez(Juwanna Mann) and NBA star Larry Johnson’s “Grandmama”, and a long list of others, including Tyler Perry’s Madea.
    Contemplate the collective disrespect, and the cumulative affects of this on-going curriculum. Analyze the disgraceful images, and the awful messages about black women that not only black women have been forced to endure, but also think about the affects this media slander has had on the image of black men and African American culture to the entire world.

    When they are not dressed in drag, black comedians have polluted our cultural landscape with some of the most stinging and dehumanizing jokes told to the world about black women’s character, honor and value- “The Kings of Comedy” being chief among them. However, it was a joke that I saw on BET, delivered by Rickey Smiley about a black woman defecating in public that made me involuntarily cry. It was so debasing, so degrading that I swore from that moment on, I would never give black comedians a pass. For out of the mouthes of our own men, the world deems black women to be worthless. Their in-house comedy career club demands the right to defame black women and our culture in the pursuit of their so-called careers. But not all of us are willing to allow them to throw our history and our cultural reputation as a people under the bus. Just before Bernie Mack died, he was interrupted during his routine and castigated by a courageous black man in the audience at a fundraiser in Chicago, for telling jokes that projected black women to be whores.

    Black America, 99.9% of the time, black comedians are not the class valedictorian. They are generally the class clown. These people should not be given free reign to destroy the image of black women in the presence of our children, or before the eyes of the world. They are incapable of monitoring themselves. I have never seen or heard any show business personality publically decry the horrible images of black women created by white producers or those carried out by black comedians. We as a people have to put our history and cultural pride ahead of these over-paid class clowns. They believe because they make large sums of money and stand before cameras, that they should set the standard for Black America’s image to the world. D.L. Hughley, and every other black comedian who stands before audiences, should be put on notice – We Shall Not Put Up With Your Culture-Killing Antics Anymore! You can make comedy without defaming the people from which you come. Other ethnic comedians do it. You shall simply have to learn to truly respect the people and the culture from which you hail. And if the lesson is too hard for you to inculcate, we will make you pay by boycotting you.

  • Srenda

    Either Ephraim’s a racist white guy or Ephraim doesn’t like his moms very much.

  • Barbara2

    @mdottwo…..You nailed it!!!!!
    Case closed!!!!!

  • __A

    Ephraim is upset that you are not joining the other men here to tell us what to think and how to feel. He’s upset that you’re not out here educating us about how wrong we are. You’re hate-babbling because you don’t hate-babble like him against BW which is okay to him.

  • Lame!

    I will remember this when I walk past his book in the Dollar Bin at Barnes and Noble. To all my fellow “angry” Black women–please keep your “angry” dollars to yourselves when you see DL Hughley is involved in a project.

  • Perspective

    Eyes roll

  • Perspective

    Profound statement – You would think with such a statement would come the realization that perhaps black women should look at themselves since they are the ones raising the men.

    I mean wow. You have 100% oversight with how these boys are raised, how they view women, and treat women yet black women simply throw their hands up in the air when these boys come out angry or disrespectful towards black women.

    I really think that black women need to start taking accountability and looking at themselves.

    If I was a single father and my daughter grew up to dislike black men. I’d have to look at myself.

    What am I going to say that the mother who wasn’t even there is the reason she hates black men? That doesn’t even make sense.

    I AM THE MAN – and she is my daughter – I am the first example of a man to her – so if her views about men are jacked up there is NO WAY IN HELL that wouldn’t fall on me.

    Yet I digress. I know I am wasting my breath – proving D.L.’s point

    “The reasoning of black women!”

    They way most of you process information really sucks – I must say.

  • Perspective

    “Dear Black People, black comedians have been used to deliver a specific component of media propaganda that has done more to harm the image of African Americans in general, and to promote misogyny towards black women than any other group of black men.”

    I dont need to go any further than the first paragraph.

    D.L. Hughley married to a black woman, and has 2 black daughters.

    If there is any black man who is qualified to speak on the issue or problems that he has with black women IN GENERAL it would be a black man with all of the above.

    Black women really have no where to go on this one.

    I don’t see the point in a man pretending that he doesn’t have these issue with black women if that’s how he feels deep down inside.

    Would you prefer him to lie or say nothing.

    I know you’d prefer him to be like these Fake Afrocentric brothas who talk about the black woman is the original woman and a Goddess and all that nonsense BUT got a white girl on his arm.

    Strokes you to sleep but really don’t want to bother with you on an intimate or personal level.

    I guess that’s what black women would prefer. I wholeheartedly agree with him about the fact that I don’t like the way that black women process information.

    Ooooo I can’t stand it.

    I didn’t say anything about the way black women look. He didn’t say anything about their weight. He didn’t say anything about the men they choose, or KOW. He said – I do not like the way the process – as if that’s the FIRST TIME black women ever heard that one and here we are 268 comments later. SMH

  • Shelly

    @Josette…to my understanding, Heidi Klum cheated on her husband, and that is why they separated.

  • Really????

    It is very natural to be upset after being attacked. If a married black woman with sons decided to shout from the rooftops that black men ain’t ish, I doubt you all would sit around saying maybe she’s right even though you all are supposed to be so logical and amazing at processing.

    Obviously many of us commenting here do not see ourselves as angry. We don’t think that we have to be put up with being generalized and stereotyped because a comedian decided to open his mouth and you all agree with him. This is a black woman’s website. Why should we listen to your vitriol and hatred at every turn? I find it amazing that black men who have been stereotyped more than any other group of people now think that it’s okay to do the same thing to us. You want to be seen as an individual, but then you come on this site and tell black women who see themselves not fitting the stereotype that they are actually the stereotype just because a comedian and other men agree with him. I bet I can find a bunch of married men and men who agree with them who think women shouldn’t get educations or that women can’t be left to their own devices or that women need to be told what to do or that women should be beaten. That doesn’t make it right.

    From all of this, I hope the biggest thing you got was that black women are not monolithic and we don’t have to agree with or put up with your stereotyping on the few sites that we have that are supposed to be supportive.

    It’s also funny how black women are not allowed to show any normal human reaction without being labeled. If I get upset about being called a hoe or a female or a b***h, I’m being sensitive. When these celebrities keep throwing us under the bus on national TV and radio shows, we’re not processing correctly by being upset.

    And the biggest thing you should have gotten from the original commenter with all of your superior processing skills is that people who have cultural pride and self-respect don’t make themselves look like fools or denigrate people of their group in front of others.

    Are you going to blame that on matriarchy?

  • And….

    …states plainly that he doesn’t even like them (his wife and daughters) as people, in public media.

  • The Other Jess

    no, they’re still useless, ne’er do wells. That hasn’t changed.

  • The Other Jess

    totally agree – denzel even sold black women out. black men are fools – let them and their hatred go.

  • The Other Jess

    “Dear Black People, black comedians have been used to deliver a specific component of media propaganda that has done more to harm the image of African Americans in general, and to promote misogyny towards black women than any other group of black men.”

    100% co-sign. i would just add Black males in Hollywood and certain other highly influential entertainment industries in general. They are paid slaves, the traitors being awarded to put Black women down, in some way or the other. And they are spreading their hate to young Black males as well, and being awarded for it.

    As bad as it may seem for us as Black women because of what Black males have chosen to take up, in the end, the overall cause of Blackness, Black power structure, and Black men will be the ultimate victims.

    Save yourselves Black women, cuz the ship is sinking when it comes to the misogynistic hateful racist Black American male (who is copying the racist, misogynistic, hateful racist white American male).

  • The Other Jess

    Thanks Clutch for not posting my last comment. Too afraid to post that I think Black men like DL are the equivalent of the Ku klux Klan in blackface?? oh well, they are! Black women stop listening to these fools and giving them money. What idiots.

  • Perspective

    @ Really?!?

    Here comes black women’s lack of reasoning skills and emotional filled responses again – only supporting what DLH said.

    “It is very natural to be upset after being attacked. If a married black woman with sons decided to shout from the rooftops that black men ain’t ish, I doubt you all would sit around saying maybe she’s right even though you all are supposed to be so logical and amazing at processing.”

    Nice STRAW MAN –

    He did not say anything about black women not being ISH. I love how you just made that up and then injected black men to make your point.

    He said he doesn’t like the way black women reason and process information, and YOU MY DEAR, are supporting his precise point.

    “Obviously many of us commenting here do not see ourselves as angry.”

    What does how you view yourself have to do with HOW OTHERS PERCEIVE YOU? This is no different than EVERY WOMAN believing that she is WIFE MATERIAL. You would think that an intelligent person would CARE about how others perceive them – hence

    “How do I look in this dress?”

    “You look a fat glass of Kool Aide!”

    “Ok, thanks, I won’t wear it!”

    “Black dress it is.”

    If black women can’t handle honestly – there is no hope for black women AT ALL.

    “generalized and stereotyped because a comedian decided to open his mouth”

    Call it what you will, it is a generalization that can be made because IT IS VERY MUCH APART OF BLACK WOMEN’S CULTURE to be the way they are. This isn’t something INHERENT in black women. You don’t see this behavior in foreign black women unless they are trying to emulate AA women.

    There are many things that are apart of black men’s culture. Calling it a generalization doesn’t make it any less true.

    “This is a black woman’s website. Why should we listen to your vitriol and hatred at every turn? ”

    Well you would think that if you have any hope for the black community or plan on dealing with black men than you would actually care about what the OTHER 50% OF THE COMMUNITY THINKS. But instead many black women would rather go off and CO-SIGN themselves to death.

    Its like a room full of morbidly obese women complimenting each other about how FINE AND SEXY THEY ARE. Where is that going to get you. It sure won’t get you a man.

    “stereotyped more than any other group of people”

    Well I would say that BLACK PEOPLE are stereotyped more than any other group its not as if black men aren’t stereotyped – shoot there’s many stereotypes that come right out the mouths of black women.

    I think the problem is for BW is that they indignantly deny the elements that are blatantly true. Its like you see things as you want to see them.

    Black women will proudly say “We’re assertive women,” but when others say they don’t like that or black women are too aggressive or domineering now it’s a problem because they don’t see it as a positive attribute as you do.

    “tell black women who see themselves not fitting the stereotype that they are actually the stereotype”

    I’d like to know who said anything about it being ALL BLACK WOMEN? If it is the culture it is definitely many. That’s what makes it a culture.

    “women shouldn’t get educations or that women can’t be left to their own devices or that women need to be told what to do or that women should be beaten.”

    Here you go WAY OUT IN LEFT FIELD – because you know black women have to go to the EXTREME in order to make their point.

    Again – this only further supports the very thing that DLH was saying. Now suddenly we’re talking about the BLACK MALE TALIBAN?! – Come on chick.

    “we don’t have to agree with or put up with your stereotyping on the few sites that we have that are supposed to be supportive.”

    So in other words, you want to be WOMAN STROKED to death and told how WONDERFUL you are at all times no matter the reality. Yes, black men already know this. So basically black men should just shut up and not say anything EVEN though inside they harbor these feelings.

    And women will be sitting around wondering why JAMAL won’t date them. Making up their own assumptions.

    “Hmmm – he just wants white women”

    Or be like Jamilah L – who will say “I’m a staunch feminist” only to question why black men aren’t checking for her and then blame it on – lust for white women – SMH

    ” If I get upset about being called a hoe or a female or a b***h, I’m being sensitive. ”

    Again – nice straw man – he said DLH said none of the above. Followed by another straw man.

    “people who have cultural pride and self-respect don’t make themselves look like fools or denigrate people of their group in front of others.”

    Nice try. So please give me an example where a black man can file a valid criticism against black women without having to PANDER to them first in order to get them to listen.

    Comedian walks out on stage “GIVE IT UP FOR THE BIG GIRLS” “GIVE IT UP FOR THE SINGLE MOTHERS”

    Instead of just being able to come out and say FRANKLY, “I don’t like the way black women process information”

    “BURN HIM!!!!! AHHHHH – He’s denigrating the race!”

  • Perspective

    @ Really?!?

    Here comes black women’s lack of reasoning skills and emotional filled responses again – only supporting what DLH said.

    “It is very natural to be upset after being attacked. If a married black woman with sons decided to shout from the rooftops that black men ain’t ish, I doubt you all would sit around saying maybe she’s right even though you all are supposed to be so logical and amazing at processing.”

    Nice STRAW MAN –

    He did not say anything about black women not being ISH. I love how you just made that up and then injected black men to make your point.

    He said he doesn’t like the way black women reason and process information, and YOU MY DEAR, are supporting his precise point.

    “Obviously many of us commenting here do not see ourselves as angry.”

    What does how you view yourself have to do with HOW OTHERS PERCEIVE YOU? This is no different than EVERY WOMAN believing that she is WIFE MATERIAL. You would think that an intelligent person would CARE about how others perceive them – hence

    “How do I look in this dress?”

    “You look a fat glass of Kool Aide!”

    “Ok, thanks, I won’t wear it!”

    “Black dress it is.”

    If black women can’t handle honesty – there is no hope for black women AT ALL.

    “generalized and stereotyped because a comedian decided to open his mouth”

    Call it what you will, it is a generalization that can be made because IT IS VERY MUCH APART OF BLACK WOMEN’S CULTURE to be the way they are. This isn’t something INHERENT in black women. You don’t see this behavior in foreign black women unless they are trying to emulate AA women.

    There are many things that are apart of black men’s culture. Calling it a generalization doesn’t make it any less true.

    “This is a black woman’s website. Why should we listen to your vitriol and hatred at every turn? ”

    Well you would think that if you have any hope for the black community or plan on dealing with black men than you would actually care about what the OTHER 50% OF THE COMMUNITY THINKS. But instead many black women would rather go off and CO-SIGN themselves to death.

    Its like a room full of morbidly obese women complimenting each other about how FINE AND SEXY THEY ARE. Where is that going to get you. It sure won’t get you a man.

    “stereotyped more than any other group of people”

    Well I would say that BLACK PEOPLE are stereotyped more than any other group its not as if black men aren’t stereotyped – shoot there’s many stereotypes that come right out the mouths of black women.

  • Perspective

    I think the problem is for BW is that they indignantly deny the elements that are blatantly true. Its like you see things as you want to see them.

    Black women will proudly say “We’re assertive women,” but when others say they don’t like that or black women are too aggressive or domineering now it’s a problem because they don’t see it as a positive attribute as you do.

    “tell black women who see themselves not fitting the stereotype that they are actually the stereotype”

    I’d like to know who said anything about it being ALL BLACK WOMEN? If it is the culture it is definitely many. That’s what makes it a culture.

    “women shouldn’t get educations or that women can’t be left to their own devices or that women need to be told what to do or that women should be beaten.”

    Here you go WAY OUT IN LEFT FIELD – because you know black women have to go to the EXTREME in order to make their point.

    Again – this only further supports the very thing that DLH was saying. Now suddenly we’re talking about the BLACK MALE TALIBAN?! – Come on chick.

    “we don’t have to agree with or put up with your stereotyping on the few sites that we have that are supposed to be supportive.”

    So in other words, you want to be WOMAN STROKED to death and told how WONDERFUL you are at all times no matter the reality. Yes, black men already know this. So basically black men should just shut up and not say anything EVEN though inside they harbor these feelings.

    And women will be sitting around wondering why JAMAL won’t date them. Making up their own assumptions.

    “Hmmm – he just wants white women”

    Or be like Jamilah L – who will say “I’m a staunch feminist” only to question why black men aren’t checking for her and then blame it on – lust for white women – SMH

    ” If I get upset about being called a hoe or a female or a b***h, I’m being sensitive. ”

    Again – nice straw man – he said DLH said none of the above. Followed by another straw man.

    “people who have cultural pride and self-respect don’t make themselves look like fools or denigrate people of their group in front of others.”

    Nice try. So please give me an example where a black man can file a valid criticism against black women without having to PANDER to them first in order to get them to listen.

    Comedian walks out on stage “GIVE IT UP FOR THE BIG GIRLS” “GIVE IT UP FOR THE SINGLE MOTHERS”

    Instead of just being able to come out and say FRANKLY, “I don’t like the way black women process information”

    “BURN HIM!!!!! AHHHHH – He’s denigrating the

  • The Other Jess

    Black women, remember this…..

    “Love is only love if it affects both sides.”
    –Kiswahili Proverb

    Black women, if you love Black men, and they do not love you back, then love does NOT exist. Too many Black American men KEEP telling you that they have no love for you – BELIEVE THEM. They do not, and the more you keep pressing them to give a damn about you, the more abuse you will receive from them.

    **Note that President Obama is NOT a damaged Black American male, although he is Black. Thus, he loves the Black women in his life.

  • Really????

    @Perspective -

    “He did not say anything about black women not being ISH. I love how you just made that up and then injected black men to make your point”

    I don’t see how you don’t see the connection to what you said and what I said. Hughley is saying that black women are angry and crazy. I am saying that just because someone is married to a person of the group that they’re complaining about that does not make them some god worthy of being worshipped and adored and having their opinions taken as fact. That is why black men came into the conversation there. Use those processing skills of yours.

    As for BW being assertive and strong and angry and all of this and all of that. As I said, this is a stereotype that no doubt applies to many black women but it also doesn’t apply to many. So we’re supposed to just say “Okay, lots of black women act that way. Let me just not get upset at him stereotyping me.” There are many people who can throw out some negative stereotypes about black men. Do you just accept it and say well that’s a part of the culture, so we gotta put up with it? If Monique went out and said black men do this and that, I highly doubt you would be so understanding, and our reaction is perfectly natural.

    What do other people think of me? Hmm. I don’t get into confrontations with people, and people have never had a problem with me. I’m pretty sure there are many, many black women who don’t fit this generalization of being angry and crazy. You need to upgrade your processing skills to understand what I’m saying. Black women are angry is a generalization. Black women who are not angry (we exist) don’t have to agree with someone trying to make us look bad.

    Black male Taliban? Again use your processing skills. I am saying that just because a man is married to a black woman that doesn’t mean that his opinion is true or has that other person’s best interest at heart.

    Fat black women who tell each other that they are fine and sexy deep down know that they are fat. Black women with attitudes deep down know that they are being combative and attitudinal. I know these things don’t apply to me and I know many other BW that aren’t angry, so yea I don’t have to agree with DL.

    What’s so annoying about men like you and DL is that you are like that man from the lovable sexist article. You usually know BW who don’t fit this stereotype but then you throw this stereotype out to try to embarrass us in front of other people. Is his wife angry? Are his daughters angry? Does he never meet nice black women? I guess this is supposed to make black women be nicer.

    I mean I don’t know how hard it is to understand that people don’t like to be stereotyped, and it’s natural to be upset about it. And you’re out of your mind if you think there’s no possibility that the 70 or so black women that have commented on this article out of the millions of African American women could possibly be nice, decent people just because we’re black women that we’re just all angry and woman and black and cosigning ourselves to death.

    I’m done with this conversation.

  • lunanoire

    If I was misunderstood by my husband of 26 years, or my father who has known me since birth, I’d be somewhat angry about it, too.

  • Perspective

    @ Really!?!?!

    What I have noticed about people in general, not just black women, but since black women feel so ATTACKED its just abundantly obvious when they do it, is that when someone makes POSITIVE generalizations about them they have no issue.

    If i were to say that black women were the best single mothers – I’d get no objections

    No one would label that a stereotype or OVER generalization.

    If i were to say that black women were the most beautiful women in the world that this planet has ever known in the history of all of mankind. Most black women would blush, toss their weaves over their shoulders, bat their fake eyelashes and say – “Why thank you, I know!”

    See if I say ANYTHING positive and make a sweeping generalization – I get ZERO objections, but let me say something remotely negative – “OH HELL NAH THAT’S NOT TRUE – YOU ARE OVER GENERALIZING.”

    I mean this is kiddy stuff.

    What DL had to say does not make him GOD or the Authority to the issue, but it does put how MANY black men feel to the forefront.

    He is NOT the only man to say this. Women hear this in their daily lives – so for black women to be in an uproar as if it’s the first time they’ve heard this is childish.

    I see one of two types of behaviors coming from black women. Either JUSTIFICATION for being angry – or COMPLETE DENIAL that they are angry.

    I personally feel that black women have a lot to be angry about.

    They community is broken
    Black men don’t protect them, nor collectively provide any sort of benefit to them
    And they constantly feel unwanted and undesired (THEIR WORDS NOT MINE)

    Yea if I was a black woman I’d be upset and angry too.

    However, the problem I have with black women is they never factor in how they contribute to the problem.

    YES matriarchy has everything to do with the broken community and black men who act more like (WOMEN) as women would even say than men.

    Women will talk about black men who don’t have their finances in order, don’t build, or expect the woman to pay for everything – but NEVER address the abundance of black women we have out here MANSTROKING the men they deal with and their sons to NOT make money a priority.

    I have heard everything from “as long as you love white Jesus” to being African Kings and the Original man as to why a black man doesn’t need to have his money in order – going back to the points I have made about women who don’t want to be controlled by men and understand that control comes from money. The problem is they just ignore all the collateral damage that comes along with black men NOT being in the proper financial position – and then you have all the complaints.

    Oh yea black women have a lot to be angry about which is why I no longer get on them about being angry. I understand it – doesn’t mean I want to deal with it. But unfortunately most would rather completely deny it anytime we want to examine that piece.

    If you don’t think black women are ANGRY – then please tell me what black women collectively have to be happy about? Seriously, think about that one before you answer – and don’t respond with some flimsy stuff.

    Much of what black women complain about and are angry about is the result of a matriarchal community – as long as their REASONING skills prevent them from seeing that – THEY WILL CONTINUE TO BE ANGRY.

  • Joan

    I don’t feel angry at D.L. Hughley for his comments. He just reminds me of someone who looked at some movies about college and decided that college wasn’t for him: he bases his opinions on very limited means. He probably sums up black women based on his limited experience with them, never thinking that perhaps his negative experiences might have a little (or a lot) to do with how he behaves. It’s so much easier to blame other people…and it’s so much more profitable. There are so many men out there like him. It kind of explains a lot.

  • kara

    They got thrown off of Stormfront earlier.

  • http://gravatar.com/rhoneynthemiddle Purhoney

    Basically all he said was that he doesn’t understand women. Didn’t anybody read the sentence where he said he respected women? Hasn’t he been married for years…to a black woman and has black daughters? He is a comedian that says outrageous things, like most comedians do, why all the animosity?

  • This black woman asks…

    ^THIS^

  • Modernmystic

    Obama is not black, he is bi racial, to say he is black erases his white mother.

  • http://cocoafly.com Cocoa Fly

    I stopped supporting DL after the comments he made about the girls at Rutgers. He sounds like a misogynist. Since he doesn’t like women, he doesn’t like my money. Sistas ya’ll better wake up and stop supporting these brothas who hate you. Yes, there are men in our race who hate us. Stop giving them your money!

  • http://gravatar.com/queensafira QueenSafira

    Yes, you have the freedom to say whatever you like. The GOVERNMENT cannot stop that. However, private citizens have the right to not watch, buy, or support what you say.

  • cb

    this is D L Hughley, why are people surprised

  • shlbshl

    @jillodelight

    Girl,

    Step away from the computer, and get back to writing your dissertation/attending to rounds at the hospital/or studying for the bar. Your energies and obviously keen intellect are wasted here.

    I’m sure Ravi’s a nice enough person, but what he fails to understand is that the first and most important rule of being an “ally” to a group of marginalized people, particularly when an ally occupies a position of relative privilege to said group (and yes, black men do wield male privilege), is to shut-up and listen.

    All Ravi’s doing here is engaging in thinly veiled mansplaining.

  • Ravi

    Actually, I’m engaging in intellectual discourse. There is very little that I fail to understand when it comes to issues of oppression. Your attempts to silence intellectual discourse fall on deaf ears. If you have an issue with anything that I’ve actually said, then by all means, speak up. If you have legitimate arguments, please attempt to refute anything that I’ve said. Otherwise, you are just being patently anti-intellectual.

    We all have our lines of privilege. I’m not in some consistent and uniform mode of privilege over BW as they are not over BM. That’s moot anyway. We are talking about over-generalizing. Baselessly accusing all or most of a group of any population of wrong-doing based on your own limited personal experiences has never been a legitimate tool in ending oppression. Maybe you should take your own advice and learn something.

  • shlbshl

    Sure, Ravi.

    I’m well aware of how kyriarchy operates. Note my use of ‘relative’ in the phrase ‘relative privilege’.

    In your zeal to derail (charges of “anti-intellectualism” are classic refrains by both whites and men when they’re confronted by POC/women about ways in which they consciously and unconsciously wield unearned privilege, btw), you’ve only underscored my original point about the need to enter spaces with an awareness of your own–say it again–privilege.

    Maybe I should put this in terms that are slightly more tangible to you as a black man: In the same way that it is not a white person’s place to tell you, a black man, how you should feel about, say, racial profiling, or racial disparities in sentencing and incarceration, or the deployment of racial dog-whistling as an electoral tactic, or any other manifestation of anti-black racism, it is similarly insensitive for you, a black man, to enter a comment thread (on a website run FOR and BY black women, no less) in which black women are discussing the myriad ways in which black male misogyny impacts their lives and lecture them on how they should feel about, respond to, or process their experiences (I recall you telling someone on here that black women should be MORE angry at misogynistic outbursts. More angry? Perhaps that’s a contributing factor to why black women suffer from things like high blood pressure and diminished birth outcomes in disproportionate numbers?). I’ve only perused the thread, but your comments constitute significant space on some of the pages.

    Are not black women entitled to a space of our own to vent, commiserate, discuss, ponder, theorize, prognosticate about our lives absent the male/white/white male/black male gaze?

    Black women don’t need black men or anyone else to school them on black male misogyny. Why? Because unlike you, we’re the ones who are actually subject to it. Do you need a white person to school you on the ways in which anti-black racism operates in YOUR life? In this situation, it really doesn’t matter one whit that you consider yourself an “ally” to black women. Stop talking so much and listen. It’s a far more productive exercise than inserting yourself into the conversation in order to assert the primacy of your male view on matters that you simply cannot identify with on a visceral level. Even better than that, how about raising the subject of Hughley’s misogyny on a black male interest website or MRA blog? Talk to your “brothas” about this; it be far more advantageous.

    Again, I don’t ascribe malicious intent or bad faith to your participation in this conversation. There are people who are brazenly trolling, and you are obviously not one of them. Although, you may want to check those anti-intellectual charges at the door considering that unwieldy, out of scope, straw man of a second paragraph that you responded with. I’m simply saying what folks in anti-racist/black womanist/feminist circles have been hammering home for decades (which you are more than familiar with because there is almost nothing related to oppression that you fail to understand) about the way in which “allies” should be cognizant of the need to tread carefully. Really, enter “how to be a good white ally” or “derailing for dummies” (that’s the name of the site) into the Google Machine. The results are remarkably germane.

    And please, forgive all of my run-ons.

  • Ravi

    “Note my use of ‘relative’ in the phrase ‘relative privilege’.”

    use of the word relative doesn’t change the fact that you were using black male privilege as if it were uniform and complete privilege over black women. Black women can and often are in positions of privilege over black men, especially when it comes to education. Privilege is much more complex than you are giving it credit for. Your assertion that black male privilege disqualifies me from adding to the discourse on oppression of black women betrays a lack of understanding on how privilege and power dynamics work.

    I’m not trying to derail anything. I think you might be projecting. I’m charging you with anti-intellectualism, because you attempted to silence me without even bothering to refute anything I’ve said. You aren’t anti-intellectual for disagreeing with me, you are anti-intellectual for telling me to shut up without even addressing anything that I’ve said. Dismissing my viewpoint because I’m a black man that can’t possibly understand is anti-intellectual. Regardless, of how others may have used the term, it’s quite apt for your comments.

    Your original point was baseless. This isn’t a forum for black women only. It’s a public forum that is centered around black women, but comments from a diverse population are allowed. If you want a black women only forum, then start your own club or maybe have members only site.

    It’s funny to me that you think that you need to put something in terms that would be more tangible to me. I understood your point when you first wrote it; that’s why I know it’s baseless. I already told you, I already understand all of this. Given I don’t tell anyone how they should feel, your analogy falls apart. I never lecture on here — just offer another point of view. It would have been more valid if you would have asked how I felt about a white person stating their view on the given topics. I would have told you that I have no issue with a white person telling me their perspectives on racism. Getting the perspective of white people on anti-black racism enhances the discourse. Diversity of backgrounds in any discussion makes for a much richer discussion. It is not at all insensitive to participate in a discussion. For a white person to call me out in a situation where I might be over-generalizing would not be insensitive; I would welcome the contribution and the opportunity to see past my own blinding prejudices. It IS quite insensitive, as well as a bit rude, to tell someone to shut up or that their opinion isn’t valid, based on their background. You were dismissive of my points, not because you actually could point to something wrong with what I said, but because I’m not a black woman. That’s anti-intellectual.

    Where exactly did I tell black women they SHOULD be more angry? Please quote me. Maybe you should spend a little more time listening yourself if that’s what you got out of what I said. Maybe commenting and listening are mutually exclusive activities for you, but I’m quite good at doing both. You should work on your listening skills, so maybe you can stop consistently mis-characterizing and twisting the things that I have said. It’s also funny that you mention straw man. You seem to be confused about what the term means. My second paragraph wasn’t a straw man, but this is:

    “Do you need a white person to school you on the ways in which anti-black racism operates in YOUR life?”

    Given I’m not trying to school anyone and given a white person can make very valuable contributions to the discourse on anti-black racism, then this argument is completely useless. Maybe you should check your anti-intellectual attempts at silencing me and take some of your own advice in the listening department. You are not saying anything that intellectuals in the feminist circles have been saying for decades. Telling someone to shut up doesn’t equate to saying they should “tread lightly.” You are simply trying to silence a view point that you don’t value instead of attempting to actually learn something from a viewpoint that you don’t necessarily share.

    Checked out derailing for dummies. Doesn’t really apply to anything I’ve said. I found a website that might be of use to you. Building Logical Arguments – For Dummies. I think you will find some helpful hints for better structuring your arguments and determining the validity of arguments. Also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_man
    so you can avoid them in the future.

  • Ravi

    And if you want a place absent absent “the male/white/white male/black male gaze” I’m thinking an open internet magazine is not what you are looking for. Maybe start a closed blog, so you can wallow in group think and close yourself off from perspectives of the other.

  • shlbshl

    Ravi, a black man, weighs in on a thread on what is undeniably a black woman’s-interest website (you’d think we could at least not be obtuse about that), does the minimally decent thing by registering disapproval for hate speech against black women, and then, possibly motivated by the entitlement and hubris that privilege confers, proceeds well past the point at which it would have been prudent to retreat to the sidelines, and veers into condescension by prescribing how black women should and should not confront misogyny—be more angry, ladies! Or whatever else.

    When I characterize his behavior as problematic, even if well-intentioned, and assert that it is insensitive and tone-deaf for a black man to thread-jack a discussion about black male misogyny that is primarily taking place between black women with his opinions about what would serve black women best, he complains that I’m silencing him (despite his trail of lengthy ripostes) and trying to thwart “intellectual discourse”.

    That he cannot swallow the fact that he stands upon rhetorical ground that’s been tilled a million times over by black women, that he is dismissive of the fact that his vantage point as a black man necessarily circumscribes his ability to fully comprehend the totality of our visceral experiences as black women, for me, illuminates the ways in which patriarchy has so effectively wedged itself into our lives. Every black woman on planet earth spends some time each day negotiating, among other things, the tension between race and gender. That we have more than enough direct experience with this than should be allowable by the universe does not matter, because Ravi takes issue with HIS viewpoint being given short shrift in all of this.

    Perhaps the overt stuff is just low hanging fruit. Hughley is easily dismissed. But for me, the real devil, so to speak, is in the nuance of the seemingly mundane, everyday encounters with black men. How do you evaluate and define an “ally” in practical terms? How do you situate black men who may not be malicious, but are misguided and nevertheless act in problematic ways?

    Ravi,
    So the comment thread here is such a pain to wade through, but I did manage to find it: “I’m an angry black man and I find, in my experiences, that the black women I come across are not angry enough.”

    You, or someone else with the username Ravi, wrote this on October 30, 2012 at 5:39PM in response to one Erin.

    Now this IS nit-picky, and I hate to be THAT petty, but you did suggest that I was improperly attributing quotes to you. And that would be well below beyond the bounds of shooting-the-shit-with-internet-strangers etiquette. I mean, err, “intellectual discourse”.

  • Ravi

    I find it ironic that you mention being obtuse while consistently mis-characterizing the things I have said. I never suggested how women should confront misogyny. I never even hinted at the proper course for women to take to confront anything. I’m thinking you should spend more time reading what people actually type as opposed to flying off the handle making silly accusations based on your inability to interpret plain English. I never said “be more angry.” Making more straw man arguments, I see.

    This is not a website for black women EXCLUSIVELY. If you want such a website, then make your own. Clearly, men regularly read and comment. If that’s a problem for you, then go elsewhere. I’m not being insensitive nor obtuse for refusing to accept your view of this website. You are being obtuse for declaring a very public and open website should be off limits to anyone that isn’t a black woman.

    You didn’t just suggest that I’m being insensitive, you told me to shut up and listen. I wasn’t being insensitive, but you were being rude. I didn’t hijack the thread, but you did revive an ended conversation just to tell me to shut up. You are attempting to silence dissent, but you won’t be successful in your attempt.

    I never pretended to have experienced what black women have, but that’s immaterial. Experience isn’t the only teacher and it certainly isn’t relevant in making anti-black man generalizations. My understanding of all things oppression related isn’t limited to my vantage point. I, unlike you, am not limited by my own perspective. Not that this was even a matter of perspective. The start of this was my response to blatant over-generalization. It doesn’t take time spent living as a black women to assess the validity of generalizations made about black men. It takes someone with a firm grasp of logic, which you seem to lack. The limited experiences of a single person are never enough to make assertions about the overall numbers of black men doing certain behaviors. This is no different than the utter stupidity of DL making equally unsubstantiated generalizations about black women. If you can call him out on his over-generalizations then I can do the same when a black woman does the same. And it wouldn’t be a defense for DL to claim that you don’t know what he has experienced as a black man that enables him to make such generalizations. So it’s asinine for you to use essentially the same argument.

    A good place to start with defining ally would be someone with common goals. Your shortsighted lack of understanding of my motivations and viewpoint have rendered you laughably misguided and unable to recognize when convergent goals should make someone an ally.

    And let’s take a look at the quote you didn’t seem to understand so well:

    “He’s not speaking from a male perspective, just an ignorant perspective. It is impossible to generalize black women as being more angry than any other group. I’m an angry black man and I find, in my experiences, that the black women I come across are not angry enough. Considering the state of oppression and injustice levied against black folks, I would think to see even more anger.”

    Where did I say what black women should be doing or should feel? Did I even use the word “should”? Could it be you made a bad inference about my feelings of what black women should be doing, or should feel? If I come across black women that are not at all angry, and there is undoubtedly cause to be angry (that cause of anger being oppression of black people, not misogyny), then it’s a valid conclusion that those women are not angry enough. I never said what the appropriate level of anger should be nor did I suggest that this was the case with black women in general. I’m not the one that comes on here making generalizations; in fact, I was attacking the use of DL’s generalization. It’s quite sad that you couldn’t understand the distinction between someone saying that they came across people that weren’t angry enough and saying a group of people in general should be more angry.

    So yes, you did improperly quote me. You read far too much into what I said, while adding a little bit extra, out of your own backside perhaps. You stated: “(I recall you telling someone on here that black women should be MORE angry at misogynistic outbursts. More angry?” and I said nothing even remotely resembling that. If the words were difficult to understand, just ask what they meant. This whole exchange has just revealed that you are attempting to chastise me for things you think I’m saying, while never bothering to try to understand what I actually said. You might actually have an argument, somewhere in your incoherent rambling, if I was actually stating the things you are accusing me of. In the future, maybe ask for clarification, when you are being too lazy or find yourself incapable of comprehending what people are posting.

    I can see how you would fail to recognize intellectual discourse seeing how very incapable of engaging in such dialogue you seem to be. I know wading through all these words must be painful for you, but maybe you should endure the pain of reading in order to actually know what people are saying. Otherwise, you just bring your literacy skills into question and end up making a fool of yourself online.

  • maxineshawattyatlaw

    Aww, willy petey save your overly long rants for your gen x videos Jesus, do you know the meaning of the words concise or succinct

  • Isaac

    and this is what Women will never Understand! We don’t understand them we just concede. even if you’re Married for say 25 years like me, majority of the time it’s just compromise and more compromise.

  • aramis leake

    Good D.L. outstanding job. Thank you.

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