If one is to believe that Hollywood truly pays attention to the desires of its audience and explores those authentic nuances on film, then one has to believe that no one is ever in love with — or attracted to — an overweight, black woman.


White filmmakers have ignored her, while their black counterparts, such as Tyler Perry, Eddie Murphy, and Martin Lawrence, have ridiculed her to make millions. Ironically, in the real world these same men are romantically entangled with women who are the direct opposite in many respects. Regardless of how much producers and directors attempt to disguise the “Mammy-Jezebel-Sapphire” trifecta, loud, over-sexed, emasculating and sassy still dwell at the core of how black women are perceived. And as long as we live within those images, or as caricatures of what white America believes us to be, then we are deemed safe for consumption by the masses and the lack of physical diversity in films continues to go unaddressed.

One could argue that there are no overweight, black women cast as desirable, love interests in film because many of us find that unbelievable, and if we find it unbelievable, then Hollywood finds it unmarketable — and the very real love stories of overweight, black women continue to go untold. More to the point, many of us have the audacity to be offended at the sight of an overweight, black woman on screen because deep-down there is a tug of shame, a fear that seeing her on screen will reinforce untrue stereotypes that all black women are overweight — and obesity, for many people, is synonymous with undesirable. Unlovable.

Oh, we scream sisterhood and solidarity, but how many of us paid money — repeatedly — to see black men mock overweight, black women? For many, it’s a way to laugh at them without appearing cruel, and that’s what we have Hollywood believing we want to see. To a very real degree, it comes down to what we have been trained to believe is acceptable in a society where, in many quarters, black is still an insult and “big and black” are fighting words. We’ve seen it recently with the election of Courtney Pearson as the first black homecoming queen at Ole Miss. Not only did many black people rip the girl’s appearance to shreds, many questioned the motivation behind her win, because white people couldn’t possibly select an overweight, black woman to represent them, right? Right?

And, if viewing habits are any indication, and silence is consent, we’re perfectly happy with our overweight sisters in the role of sidekicks, asexual nurturers, or desperately trying to find a man because that’s what we’ve been sold as “real.” We sit in darkened movie theaters and forget that 82 percent of black women are overweight or obese. We forget that they are our sisters, mothers, friends … they are us. We forget that we see their love stories play out every day in our homes, neighborhoods and cities.

We forget because Hollywood takes notes of our insecurities, while simultaneously cultivating them in the form of what we should look like and who it’s acceptable to love — and overweight, black women never quite make the final cut.

It is up to us to demand that the physical diversity we live amongst everyday be examined on film. This isn’t a conversation framed around health and exercise, it’s about the very real fact that overweight, black women don’t have images of themselves on the big screen that are reflections of their romantic lives. They don’t see themselves being kissed or made love to, or proposed to with all the pomp and circumstance that accompanies the occasion. They don’t see the handsome boy wooing the overweight girl, doing all that he can to make her fall in love with him.

And with 82 percent of us being overweight, the fact that there is not one big, black heroine in Hollywood is nothing less than insulting…not just to overweight women, but to all of us. Why? Because our reality is being manipulated and we’re paying full ticket price to watch it.

In the 2006 essay, Nobody Loves a Fat Woman: Portrayals of Female Obesity in Early American Cinema, Joseph Kerr makes a razor-sharp observation about the difficult transition from stage to film for overweight women in a weight conscious society:

“Visibility is permitted on stage,” opines Kerr, “but a permanent visibility on celluloid is more problematic.”

That visibility is obviously still problematic, both in Hollywood and in the Black community. And the fact that, collectively, we have not fought harder for love, in all shapes and sizes, to be depicted on screen, says a lot more about our cultural esteem, than Hollywood’s entrenched biases.

Big girls need love, too; we all do.

  • Yvette

    This isn’t an issue that only affects black women. When’s the last time you saw an overweight woman of ANY race portrayed as the love interest? The only example that I can think of off the top of my head is Melissa McCarthy in “Mike and Molly”, but her husband is overweight too. I believe Hollywood is slowly changing its perception of obesity, but overweight black women will likely never be viewed as attractive by Hollywood standards.

  • Amber

    Drop Dead Diva is a good start too.

  • Pink Lipstick

    I don’t believe that Hollywood should be endorsing obese and overweight black women. That 82% statistic is sickening. We should be asking how we can get black women to become healthier.

  • Ms. Information

    Most men don’t want ANY race of woman that is overweight, that is just how it is…the fat mammy stereotype has been around for a loooonnnggg time and does not seem to be going anywhere…Recent national data shows that 82.1 percent of Black women and 75.7 percent of Hispanic women are overweight or obese compared to 59.5 percent of White women are overweight…obesity is clearly an American problem but black women are ridiculed the most for it..

  • Jane Smich

    Until we are responsible for how we are portrayed in the media this crap will never stop.

  • EMM

    one example is Malik Yoba’s wife in Alphas, she is definitely not the normal-sized tv actress

  • Starla

    @ Yvette. You forgot Bridget Jones Diary. The character may have not been morbidly obese, but she was a plump girl.

    I belive Superbad had a larger female character playing the love interest of the skinny guy. that was a comedy though, so I don’t know if it counts.

  • http://gravatar.com/ohsohonestlyjasmine jasmineEmedia

    Glee decided to briefly create a storyline where the shows only Black female (played by the beautiful and plus sized Amber Riley) is dating an attractive white character the story wasn’t great but they wrote it without a million references to color and didn’t once mention her size. I remember a friend complaining “Why can’t they put a pretty black girl on here why does she have to be fat”.
    We get mad because we are under represented, then angry when we aren’t represented perfectly like we only want to see black women on TV if they are impossibly perfect and their characters do no wrong. Were never going to normalize diversity if we keep expecting to see model minorities on TV.

  • http://ladyngo.blogspot.com Lady Ngo

    I’m fat, black and owner of two x-chromosomes and i don’t have any trouble attracting a mate so to say that men don’t like fat women…well that’s what they say but walk down the street and clearly you’ll see differently.

    Anywho, even though the thought has crossed my mind several times, i honestly am not sure i care that Hollywood (black, white, or otherwise) doesn’t cast overweight women of any color as the love interest. Movies are make believe to me. Art doesn’t have to imitate life. I don’t need to see “my life” on the big screen to feel validated. Besides, as with everything else, i’m sure Hollywood wouldn’t do the story much justice anyway.

  • Take Responsiblity

    How about we as Black women spend more time eating healthy and exercising. Stop whining about how nobody puts us in movies and lower the number of 82% of us being overweight!

  • ?!?

    Thank you! Black women are always talking about people making fun of us, but then you want overweight black women to be the new Gabrielle Unions.

    I don’t know any other group of women that talks so much about seeing a dearth of plus sized women like we do. White women talk about fat acceptance and the next thing you know they’re the Jenny Craig spokesperson.

    You all don’t get image at all. Can you think of a TV show where there was an attractive fit black woman and an overweight white woman? Do you ever wonder why there are never any drop dead gorgeous Asian women on TV getting all the attention over a white woman? What if Yang were some drop dead gorgeous woman dating Derrick on Grey’s anatomy? How do you think white women would feel? It’s because Hollywood and the media know they can put white women on a pedestal and mock black women and lower our stock. And you all say “great! I’m glad these women are getting some love” while white men and women laugh at you, while Asians and Latinos laugh at you, and while black men laugh at you and use it as an excuse to date other women. Do you all like being made fun of?

    I just don’t get it. Then you will be complaining that you can’t find a man or the media is picking on black women.

    I can barely see a movie with Gabrielle Union or Tika Sumpter, but now you think Hollywood show skip these women and let Precious find love.

    That may sound harsh, but black people have NO concept of positive imaging and putting themselves on a pedestal like other groups do.

    I know this is from Frugivore, but this site spends way more time talking about fat acceptance than exercise or dieting at all. And I do get annoyed when I see ten fit white, Asian, and Latino women, and a fat black woman who is loud and uncouth. You think that’s progress and fat acceptance. I see it for what it is. It’s them mocking us. Do you think it’s a coincidence that there are so many black women like this on TV?

    I will argue with some of these black men who hate black women sometimes, but they definitely have a point about the weight issue. 82% overweight. That’s ridiculous. And that is why I just can’t get behind fat acceptance. Instead of black women talking about what exercises work for them or how to cook their soul food in a healthy way, you all want to make Hollywood cast you in a role I would honestly rather see Megan Good get or shame men into wanting you the way you are.

    Everyone is making fun of us. There are black men all over YouTube and Twitter talking about us being fat a,ong other things. I just don’t get it.

  • ?!?

    I don’t think casting a fit and pretty black actress is looking for perfection. They do it for white women all the time. There are lots of pretty black actresses who would love to get some work. I would rather have them not cast black people if they’re only going to do it to mock us by stereotyping.

    There was that whole Girls doesn’t have any color stuff floating around the web and this site for a while. Apparently they had a black girl on rapping about sex, so I guess people got what they wanted even of it was a Jezebel.

  • BreaktheCycle

    Just a quick note on the 82% statistic. BMI measures are soooooo racially and culturally slanted, that its no wonder many of us are labeled “obese” along with other ethnic minorities (Hispanics) who are more “shapely”. I believe the racism and beauty standards built into the BMI has caused some skewing of perception and has possibly led to this “big is beautiful” notion. Obesity is not ideal, and I don’t think the author should be a proponent of it. There is a difference between being a larger, healthy woman and being obese. These two things often get confused, and I believe a lot of it has to do with the measures we use.

  • Pseudonym

    Yep. I remember a joke on “Family Guy” where they were flipping through sitcoms described as “fat man, pretty skinny wife,” “fat men, pretty skinny wife,” “fat man, pretty skinny wife” b/c that’s a big theme on television.

  • The Other Jess

    oh please…It’s only until very recently that every type of Black woman was the missing love interest. recently, as in the past year. honestly, i get tired of Black women always accepting being presented as fat (and i get tired of black women always asking people who don’t like them very much to represent them well) – i actually think overweight Black women get too much recognition (much of it negative, of course, but not always), and it’s our slim fit sisters who get very little recognition. Queen Latifah has become “the it girl” to go to for many productions, and she has been the love interest on several occasions. One thing Qeen Latifahhas is high self-esteem and self-love – if most heavyset Black women continue to accept ugly, mocking and degrading roles (such as Gabby Sidibe), then Hollywood will keep giving them to you. For the most part, Queen has avoided all this due to her sense of self-worth, to the point that she is repped as a beauty queen, a well recognized face of Covergirl.

    @Take Responsibility: I don’t know where you got your false data, but 82% of Black women are not overweight. Not even close. So quit spewing the oft-repeated, always incorrect lie that the majority of black women are fat.

  • Yvette

    @Starla – Yeah, you’re right. It’s mostly comedies that will portray overweight women as the love interest. Even then though, her weight is a significant part of her character.

  • Yvette

    @Pseudonym – Lol, yeah I remember that episode. Love Family Guy!

  • The Other Jess

    I agree with your friend – every other race gets to be fit, or at least of a more normal size in line with health – notive how Black men make sure to be repped s fit and in shape, of a desirable body type? But usually only Black women always have to be fat, dumpy and dowdy in the mainstream media. Sorry, but for those looking into the idea of playing the love interest, the reality is that a lot of men don’t like fat women represented as a beauty standard on their TVs (and that includes Black men). And a lot of Black women like me get sick of always being represented as the ONLY fat women among all races – it’s garbage.

    Like Jennifer Hudson said in her NBC Dateline interview with Lester Holt, she no longer wanted to always play the fat girl – why does she always have to be the fat girl? She stated that those who continuously asked her to be the fat role wanted her to be other than herself, and othet than her desires. I agree. Go JHud.

    It’s only recently that slender Black women have had a chance to be recognized.

  • Yb


    I feel that like the majority of American women need to protect the health and keep their weight maintained, but that also every group, every type of person out there has a story to be told and should be represented.

    I find the black women and weight discussion to be so disingenuous because it seems like the majority of us don’t give a fcuk about black women’s health but just how we’re portrayed and the opinion of others. Basically it’s “you fat negresses are making me look bad, so change so I can have the approval of others.”

    If we really cared about black women’s weigh we would discuss the cause and the effects. We wouldn’t yell, screaming “lose, weight” and not offer and solutions or informative steps. We would promote healthy eating habits and teach lower income people how to each better, instead of bitching on an Internet forum.

    If we, black women, really want better for us we need to show it, instead of being so mean, hateful, and vindictive toward each other.

  • Yvette

    @Pink Lipstick – Trust me I understand what you’re saying. The obesity rate in the black community is ridiculous. But can you please explain what the obesity rate has to do with portraying relationships in movies? It’s not “endorsing” a unhealthy lifestyle, rather just simply showing the reality of American society. People of all shapes and sizes do have relationships.

  • The Other Jess

    I love you for this comment, ?!?

    This comment makes the most sense of all of these comments. Only Black women are silly enough to ask to be marginalized and ridiculed.

  • Yvette

    @The Other Jess – So then where’s your data to dispute the 82% claim?

  • The Other Jess

    “And I do get annoyed when I see ten fit white, Asian, and Latino women, and a fat black woman who is loud and uncouth. You think that’s progress and fat acceptance. I see it for what it is. It’s them mocking us. Do you think it’s a coincidence that there are so many black women like this on TV?”


    (although I disagree with the 82% figure, but everything else is spot-on).

  • The Other Jess

    yep, only Black women are ridiculed for it, AND only Black women are force-fed constantly shifting and false information about the percentage of us being overweight.

  • Tony

    You’re getting preference confused with limited options. If you’re the best he can do, sure he’ll lay with you. But if old boy had the cash to go outside of the black ghetto where there are more options of women.You’d be far down the list from his first choice.

    I’ve never seen a 200+ pound woman who wouldn’t look better if she lost 30 or more pounds.

  • Ms. Information

    @ other Jess….I also quoted this statistic but doubt it’s authenticity..I doubt it because when I worked for the state of Georgia, they made us code hispanics as white people…and the government pulled statistics from our information….I know that black women are overweight, I just think that the numbers are funny….ALL American women have weight issues.

  • African Mami

    I don’t get it. One minute there is an article complaining about black women’s portrayal as mammies, then the next, we are looking for a character that is overweight to be cast as the leading lady. What’ s it gonna be folks?! I don’t get it. It looks like we like to complain A WHOLE LOT! There are 1001 Indie films out right now, that we need to support. Our pippoz in the motherland, and diaspora are doing the damn thang. Keep waiting for Hollywood to validate you! Their way of validating your existence, weight, look is by INSULTING you. Abeg, make up your minds.

  • African Mami


  • http://ladyngo.blogspot.com Lady Ngo

    LMAO, and you sir or madam are confusing facts with assumptions. I am not from the “ghetto” I am an educated (on her way to being professional) woman with a master’s degree who has lived in the suburbs almost her entire life. I have never been anyone’s last resort and while i have attracted “chubby chasers” i attract men who are interested in me regardless of my weight. I didn’t say that all men like overweight women. But to say that no man likes them, chubby chaser or not, is just bs.

  • Tony

    Go to any episode of Soul Train and look how small those young women are. It’s downright shocking compared to these size of young black women today.

    Don’t believe the hype the majority of young black women were not always “Big Boone”.

  • The Other Jess

    That’s not what anybody is saying. Of course fat or overweight women get love all the time – completely no less than their slender counterparts! But we’re not talking about you not being loved. Were talking about how this overweight stereotype keeps getting pushed on Black women ONLY when the majority of the U.S. has the EXACT SAME weight problems. And we’re talking about how it’s being used to ridicule and EXCLUDE Black women from regular society as full women who can compete with anyone out there, whether slimor heavy. We’re being taught (and U.S. populations are being taught) that the only REAL kind of Black woman is usually brown to dark skinned, overweight and should be deemed unattractive, and that slender fit Black women are “men”.

    It’s bad and hatred all the way around for Black women, so we really should celebrate nothing coming from the mainstream media, but we do not need to accept other people’s lies about us.

  • The Other Jess

    Tony you’re an ididot, because for one thing, the majority of Black women even in “the ghetto” are not obese.

  • Tony


    Soul Train on U-Tube.
    *the size

  • The Other Jess

    totally agree to this – U.S. statistics are made to skew the image of Black women – Marilyn Monroe, a size 13, is noted as shapely and sexy, but a black woman of the same size is listed as fat or overweight. Thus the twisted and skewed statistics of 82% Black rate of obesity.Please.

  • The Other Jess

    YES, African Mami!!!

  • Ms. Information

    Yes!! Nollywood is getting it in!

  • Yvette

    Really? I’m getting thumbs down for asking her to back up her claim with facts? The author provided a link and that’s all I’m asking Jess to do. I wasn’t being snarky, just genuinely curious, smh.

  • Yvette

    @African Mami – Lolwut? Two different authors, two different opinions.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    I agree with the article because it is NOT so much of a weight issue per se but a PERCEPTION issue. We scream and holler when other black “ideal” women characters are criticized, stereotyped and marginalized (read the recent Scandal’s Olivia Pope articles on this site) but when it is a fat black woman character then it is “whelp…fruit, nuts, grains and veggies (stealing this jamesfrmphilly…lol)”. Do I think we need to get the obesity rate down and strive for health/fitness overall OF COURSE, but let’s be realistic and honest even if we do get a lower obesity rate that is still not going to be everyone’s reality…gasps there are still going to be overweight black women living their life. But that doesn’t mean their stories shouldn’t be told or they shouldn’t be portrayed in a certain way. Basically, you can’t scream for equality and diversity for yourself but wanting to put limits on for others.

  • Yvette


  • Tony

    @Lady Ngo

    You said: “to say that men don’t like fat women…well that’s what they say but walk down the street”

    Young men do not prefer fat. There are always exceptions but if a smaller you was competing against the “fat” you (your words) for a man. You’d be in trouble.

  • Blaisian hottie

    not every fit black woman is pretty.
    I will be honest and say that an ugly face is an ugly face.
    Most ugly people REGUARDLESS of shape are hard on the eyes. So in keeping with the honesty theme I’ll say that majority of the black black women & girls I see in the real world fat or not aren’t that hot. MOST men aren’t lying to you guys.

  • Ms. Information

    Blasian…you can’t even spell and this isn’t Mediatakeout….go back under your bridge troll…

  • http://gravatar.com/pinkslehuit pinkslehuit

    As an editor, I’m bothered by this author’s use of the comma between overweight and black. Commas are used between adjectives to show parallelism/similarity as in “the curvy, succulent woman walked past her suitor.” Writing overweight, black woman means overweight = black..not the same!

    I just geeked out, but proper punctuation is necessary!

  • ?!?

    @Blasian loser – Yea because Tika Sumter and Kelly Rowland are such unicorns. I went to school with plenty pretty black black girls. There are pretty black black girls all over YouTube and Tumblr. If you need to pretend like all black women are ugly to feel special because of your racial makeup, it doesn’t hurt my feelings.

  • victoria


    Absolutely agree.

    Too many bw are overweight. Why constantly write articles about accepting this instead of writing articles about exercise and proper eating?

  • IslandgirlDesi

    I totally agree. Proper punctuation determines the tone of the message you are right. Simply placing a comma incorrectly can change the meaning of a sentence. Nothing geeked out about it, I’m geeky too.

  • African Mami

    I bet you next week, we gon have a third opinion, and the following weeks after. My point is this, Hollywood ain’t checking for NO black woman, overweight, underweight, averageweight, sideweight, triangularshaped, rhombusshaped, parallelogrammed, instagrammed, short, natural, weaved, bald….look to other avenues, first stop INDIE!

  • Paris

    They do. http://www.frugivoremag.com. But, this is just a topic that I too wondered about. But – whatever.

  • African Mami

    I’m telling ya mama!! You can watch them in high quality edition too, via irokotv.com!! [it's NOT free, BUT there are some movies you can watch for free]

    Please watch one called, “The Return of Jennifer”
    My God, this chick is HILARIOUS. Jesus wept, I hollered!!!

    Here is teaser trailer:

  • African Mami

    we are sooooooooo on the same page today!! For that I’m grateful to the gods of zamunda!

  • Perspective

    Man… I don’t co-sign this one big.

    Love the part

    “Oh, we scream sisterhood and solidarity, but how many of us paid money — repeatedly — to see black men mock overweight, black women?”

    As if black men made up the Mammy stereotype – not saying that black men should ever be co-signing just amazed at how black women never seem to be able to call out the white boys (who control) the media on it.

    Also when it comes to the girl winning the home coming queen – I say again – where are the FAT WHITE HOMECOMING QUEENS? Many black black women don’t realize when they are being mocked, and played for a fool – always seeking validation and stupidly from OTHER GROUPS that could give a damn about us.

    Also, do you see any other fat women of other races trying to knock down the doors to be seen. No, as a rule they will work that weight off – unlike many sistas who want to be coddled and stroked into believing that their really sexy when they are not.

    How do you think so many sistas go big in the first place. Broke black men telling them how acceptable they are just to get some.

    Show me a millionaire brotha with a FAT ANY WOMAN OF ANY RACE and I’ll sit down.

    Forget it I’ll drop the standards – show me one in a 2012 S class. E class – damnit a C class. You ain’t gonna see it.

    These women stay trying to PUNCH THEIR WAY into being accepted.

    Imagine if I tried to beat you all over the head to accept broke black men. That would be an argument.

    This is not about DIVERSITY, as I stated you don’t see any other race of man promoting the women of their race that are fat – black women’s image is already bad enough. I think too many big sistas have been coddled too much for too long that they can’t handle that other black folks are SICK OF THESE STEREOTYPES – only to turn around and complain about the black woman’s overall lack of perceived sex appeal.

    I just see a whole bunch of black women WHO REFUSE to even attempt to meet any sort of REASONABLE standard.

    Black women ALREADY have men who the most accepting when it comes to their weight – BUT WHERE IS THE CUT OFF.

    When will black women even say – damn SHE IS TOO BIG – OR I’M TOO BIG.

    I’m not here to coddle you to sleep. I’m not here to take your money run out on stage and say “GIVE IT UP FOR THE BIG GIRLS” as if any comedian who has ever said that grab one from the audience and took a big girl home.

    People pander to big black women to a) make a mockery of ya’ll and b) take your money in exchange for the slightest amount of praise.

  • D.T.

    Exactly! Is there anything else left to say after that?

    I guarantee these women will want to see a big woman paired up with a President Obama type of black knowing good and well men like that don’t want fat women.

  • http://gravatar.com/clnmike Tonton Michel

    Where the heck is James?

  • peasinapod

    The bmi doesn’t work for incredibly muscular people and that’s about it. Every normal sized black and Hispanic person fits in the normal bmi range. I’m a 112 and 5’4″ and I’m at a normal range. I may look curvier due to my bodytype, but it doesn’t add numbers to the scale.

  • ?!?

    @Paris – I wasn’t talking about Frugivore. They are a health site. I was talking about Clutch. Most of the articles on this site about weight and body issues have to do with fat acceptance or calling black women big boned.

  • Ms. Information

    I won’t defend or ridicule anyone who is fat because I am sure that it is a struggle…A lot of the I’m fat and sexy routine is a mask to deal with the pain and rejection that some women feel….the funny thing is that if there was a pill created that actually worked to get rid of fat…no one would choose to be fat and that pill would be sold out.

  • http://www.clutchmagazine.com Clutch

    Thanks for your comment – Frugivore is apart of Clutch – it’s our health and fitness site. We post articles on both spectrums of the topic. This article is from Frugivore – but feel free to browse Clutch archives as well – we try to be balanced on this issue.


  • mELLE

    let me saying something sad but true. i’ve been over weight and i’ve been skinny-when i was chubby – i got male attention, but the dudes didnt want to own me in public. true story i lost weight- dude didnt like that i lost weight but owned me in public- whether u black or white- unless the guy is a chubby chaser most men only want a fat man undercover b/c fat women got boobs and but- same thing w/hollywood – only skinny women get attention
    like i said sad but true

  • Sick

    First of all I don’t agree with that 82%. Where I live there aren’t that many overweight black women. Most of the ones I know are in shape. Fact check those statistics before you use them please!!!!!! Also, who cares what Hollywood does? If it is such a problem, don’t go to the movies!!!!!!

  • http://gravatar.com/mimiandy1683 MimiLuvs

    For this comment: If I was standing in front of you right, I would hug you and kiss you. But then you would probably spray half of a can of mace on me and then it will be totally awkward for me. LOL.
    Every time I hear the “fat bashing”– I mean, the concern… that they have for the gaftig, Black American women in our society, I think of the same thing.

  • http://gravatar.com/mimiandy1683 MimiLuvs

    I was expecting the “fruits, grains, vegetables…” line by now.

  • Kae

    I agree. This site does just doesn’t get any comments or attention when they do. It’s sad people recommend things this site already does but never gets credit for it. Sad for the writers here :(

  • Ron

    Some young fat girls can carry the weight. It’s all in the thighs, hips and breast with a flat stomach. All of these fat black woman start looking like Ra sputia around 30, Yuk!!!

  • Latin Nerd

    That’s not true. You use commas to separate adjectives describing the same now regardless of their relationship to each other.

  • Keepitreal

    Obesity is NOT good and I rather Hollywood not bow down to the Fat Acceptance crowd.

  • African Mami

    He is with me. I’ll pass on the message. Thanks for your concern.

  • Nic

    Well, black men certainly don’t have an issue with white or Asian women who are fat. I see that everyday.
    I’m kind of tired of people acting like black men aren’t fat though. A lot of people of every race and both genders are getting fat. Fat black men are a big problem. Every discussion about fat is “eww, all these fat nasty black women make me sick” and you have black men and women who love to pile in on that. Yet this same silly site will have some article talking about how sexy some ugly fat black man like Rick Ross is. When you see men like him on TV, they are wheezing. Or dropping dead in real life. I don’t hear anyone bringing up Heavy D’s weight and he dropped dead in his early 40′s. I also don’t recall reading any nasty comments about his fatness when he was alive.

    We don’t see black people go in hard about any of the issues that plague us (AIDs, poverty, education rates, unmarried parents, STDs), but goodness, mention fat and it’s open season on the black woman.

    I’d love to see more articles about all of the uneducated black men (or which there are WAY too many) and black men who are currently and formerly incarcerated, have children they don’t support with women they will never marry and see if people get half as nasty. For some reason, we are supposed to go easy on them. Why the double standard? If the nasty talk is how people learn, why not go there?

  • Nic

    Um, if we want to be real about your concern that people are laughing at us, I hope you aren’t wearing a hair weave, went to college, and don’t have any baby daddies…if we are going to call out stuff, let’s call it all out.

    I’m personally tired of the ebonics and people who are native born Americans who cannot write or speak standard English. I don’t like being asked why I don’t sound like the “other black people.” It is really embarrassing.

  • Rosie

    I thought it was well known that the size 13 of the 50′s and 60′s was much smaller than today’s size 13. Woman champion that “fact” only to make themselves feel better.

  • Nic

    You aren’t lying there…and like Chris Rock said, “black men love fat WHITE women”…you won’t see them complaining about 300lbs of white meat.

  • Nic

    And women prefer educated men, because they don’t have to support them and they have higher paying jobs. If you were competing against a smart, educated man who didn’t speak in ‘Ebonics’ and could write in actual sentences, you’d be in trouble.

    I’m quite sure Lady Ngo would never be bothered with someone at your “level.”

    A lot of men have to pick someone that they think other people envy to mask their own shortcomings.

  • Nic

    It is funny how much black men and women love to pile in on any article that insults black women.
    I think it helps people to feel better about their other numerous flaws (that don’t get as much attention in the media) to be extra nasty about this one.
    It would be great to talk about how to find solutions for healthy living and being your best self for men and women, instead of sticking our heads in the sand and acting like it only matters when black women are fat. No matter what real or fake numbers you want to throw out, I NEVER see anyone utter a single peep about how black men need to do better. B/c they sure aren’t doing well? Why no concern about them and their health?
    You will NEVER see the level of vitriol thrown out about any other subject that affects us, nor will you ever see the level of nastiness directed at men for anything.

  • Nic

    Maybe you should spend less time watching “You Tube” and work on getting that GED…

  • Nic

    People pander to uneducated black men by acting as though women who are doctors and lawyers are evil harpies wen they won’t date down.
    I think acting like an educated woman would waste her time on a garbage man makes a mockery of us all.
    And you all give your money to Tyler Perry by the bucketful when he sells you that lie.

  • D.T.

    So why are you supporting young GIRLS that are fat? Better yet why are you looking at young girls in the first place?

    Typical broke man liking fat women is what you are. Men like you encourage this by telling them they look good. Yeah right you don’t like them around 30!

  • lol

    “We don’t see black people go in hard about any of the issues that plague us (AIDs, poverty, education rates, unmarried parents, STDs…”

    you don’t see the constant bickering on here about oow kids and the destruction of the black community?

    black folk not reading to their kids at night (we have one right now with people arguing) ; http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2012/10/black-students-white-schools/comment-page-2/#comment-329916

    you don’t see folk complaining about STD and AIDS infection rates whenever an article about “giving it up on the 1st date” comes along ?

    let’s be fair, we actually beat these topics to death…

  • Barbara2

    Where did you get this 82% of Black women are fat LIE from? Tell us!!

  • Rue

    Hollywood has NO fat women, period. much less fat and black.

  • http://cupofjo-jo.blogspot.com bk chick

    I think ppl are thinking the author is saying more fat representation= more mammies. The mammy stereotype sucks but what the author argues for is for a fat black woman to be represented as normal, in this case normal= desired by other men. In real life fat/bigger women get hit on by other men, get married, have families. It’s about portraying black women, no matter what type, as normal and eliminating all stereotypes associated with each particular subset of black women. Also someone once told me the one way the way you can tell something is sexist, is if a man does the same thing and it goes completely unnoticed. Someone mentioned before that a lot of T.V. is full of fat men with pretty skinny wives. If it sooo unbelievable for a fat black woman to be considered desirable by attractive men, then the same should apply for their male counterparts. Instead, an ugly and/or fat man is very often paired with a woman who is far from his equal in terms of appearance. I can think of Everybody loves Raymond, King of Queens,and George Lopez show off the top of my head, oh and that random movie “the sitter” . I always thought it was so unrealistic for them to be together, and I may be wrong for that, but It’s good they are willing to push past societal boundaries. The sad thing is, the same is NOT done with women. Which leads to me conclude that it’s not about breaking boundaries at all but rather a male dominated industry that gets to play out their fantasies through written scripts and manipulate images in their favor to a society that normally would have rejected them

  • Rue

    That’s the thing…most movies do not embrace reality and are meant for escapism.

  • victoria

    That’s my viewpoint, as well.

  • lol

    this is a site for black women thus it caters to us and features stuff about and for us, if you want to talk to and about black men there are loads of websites for them.

  • Perspective

    I knew some woman was going to come on here with this point. I’m sorry but this is dumb. This is TYPICAL feminist rhetoric.

    Unfortunately, in the REAL WORLD – women do indeed practice hypergamy where they seek men with money and wealth. Those men tend to be older and fatter. Its been that way since the dawn of time.

    So UNLESS women start saying no to that set up across the board. That will never be unrealistic and that will never change.

    There has always been a silent understanding between young beautiful women and RICH MEN.

    E.g. Russel Simmons and Kimora
    e.g. Nicholas Cage an his wife
    e.g. Michael Douglas and Katherine Zedith Jones.

    That is not some fantasy created by men. That is REAL LIVE.

    In those situation TYPICALLY the man is the bread winner by LEAPS AND BOUNDS.

  • Perspective


  • Renee

    I enjoyed this article!

    I do think in Grey’s Anatomy…Shonda Rhimes gives the character Dr. Bailey played by Chandra Wilson a love interest, who loved and adored her, and Tyler Perry (though I do have issues with him) Why Did I Get Married for Jill Scott’s character and Lamann Rucker.

    We do have a ways to go. In how black women are portrayed period. But we make our voices known by not supporting bullshit, and also start telling our own stories.. vs. waiting for an outsider to do so and bring it justice!

  • pe.riche.

    Actually, I’m a size 16 and have never had trouble dating/interacting with men. Maybe I’m just lucky, but I’ve never had to deal with the “woes” society likes to attribute to fat women.

    And if there was a pill, I wouldn’t take it. This maybe hard for some folks to believe, but not all of us want to be “skinny” (I put skinny in quotations because the ideal of thinness is highly subjective. What one may deem to be too thin, someone else may consider fat).

  • pe.riche.

    I’m a size 16 and haven’t had any issues dating or being in relationships. Maybe I am just fortunate (as I’ve stated in another comment) but I haven’t had to deal with the “issues” so commonly assumed to be struggles for fat women.

    And in terms of dating, I’ve dated men of different races. And really, it just depends on each individual man. Some men like slim women, some like fat women, and others (re: most) just like women plain and simple.

    So, sorry to burst everyone’s bubble, but being fat isn’t necessarily the dating liability some people would like/believe it to be.

  • pe.riche.

    Thank you! I was starting to think I was the only fat black woman here!

    I too have never struggled with dating. I think people get upset because some of us fat women do not cater to those stereotypes (fat, lonely, low self-esteem). Nothing pisses people off more than having the audacity to love yourself and be confident when they are trying with vigor for you to be the opposite.

  • Perspective

    Well what I think what she wants is to bring overweight women into the realm of defined acceptability. People have no issue with standards (as long as they fit in them) If they don’t fit in them they have a problem. If I talk about fat women the skinny women don’t have an issue. If I talk about single mothers the childless women don’t have an issue.

    The problem is that these women put an over emphasis on the media as being this all powerful machine.

    Granted – white women are elevated to the ideal of beauty because they are promoted, but this only goes so far. Just because you promote people with third degree burns doesn’t mean that everyone is going to go out here and start trying to date those people. That’s how some of these women see it. They believe the media to be a machine that can make anyone beautiful through repetition and promotion. They believe that if big plus sized women are promoted like white women that suddenly big black women will suddenly come into vogue. The only time big women have been in vogue in societies are in societies where being fat is associated with great wealth. This is typically in societies where resources are scarce. When a fat woman is spotted – the assumption is that she is fat because she has an abundance of resources. “That’s the family I want to be in.” Especially when dowries were associated with women. Its more economical than one of beauty, but you can’t tell these women that.

    Their issue is one of a persons humanity. I agree that if a woman is fat that doesn’t mean “Oh she ain’t shit” however, men have the right to reject or deny a woman based on what they find attractive. Many of these women believe the beauty is WHOLLY ARTIFICIAL and fabricated by misogynistic males. That is far from reality. Give me 10 men and 2 women and let 8 out of those 10 men choose the slimmer girl – and you automatically have a beauty standard created right then and there. It does not take MEDIA for that to happen.

    My issue is rather than meet the standard, they avoid it and try to make the unacceptable the acceptable. That black community already has an issue with establishing standards and maintaining them. We don’t need any more loose regulations, not to mention we aren’t talking about black features here, or caucasian ideals of beauty that black women can’t meet because they are xenospecific. We are talking about weight here. I remember the come back phrase.

    “I may be fat but I can lose the weight, you’re ugly and will always be ugly.”

    Why that no longer applies, I have no clue. Also, just because you’re skinny doesn’t mean you’re beautiful but I can say you will have a whole lot better of a chance snagging a man if your weight is in order.

  • Perspective

    “and also start telling our own stories.. vs. waiting for an outsider to do so and bring it justice!”

    WOW – men choosing the women they typically find attractive which are women who aren’t overweight is about

    JUSTICE!!!! now?

    Perhaps I should start a campaign about getting black women to accept black men who don’t have their finances in order.

    JUSTICE FOR MEN – HUH?! what do you think.

    Damn – can a sista be rejected for any reason on here or is it every time a woman doesn’t fit campaigns have to be created in order to make them fit.

    “Come on ya’ll we got a one legged chick in the back – We need to campaign for her so that Hollywood makes a movie with a one legged chick being the LOVE INTEREST! The world is so cruel – there are no movies with one legged women. WE WANT JUSTICE!”

    (Roll my eyes)

    How about a campaign to register sistas with a Gym membership, why not?

    And then promote it underneath the MASK of being healthy – because sistas can never acknowledge that they are doing ANYTHING for the attention of a black man, NO never that!

    That would go against the SISTERHOOD.

    (Only to complain later about NOT being payed attention too)

    “These damn white &$*#&es!”

  • Pingback: Street Corner Prophet

  • http://gravatar.com/cocovabarbie KemaVAema

    I can see the 2% overweight if the stat is going by BMI. I am overweight but most people that see me would not classify me as overweight. What many think of as overweight is really obese.

  • http://cupofjo-jo.blogspot.com bk chick

    The men you mentioned in REAL LIFE are more attractive then the men I listed in the T.V. shows. More over, the characters don’t even reflect THAT reality, the one where women go for rich men. In the particular shows I listed all the men are either blue collar workers, or struggling in their careers, so it is a manipulation. period. I never hear women or men for that matter suggesting that portraying these relationships are promoting unhealthy size, etc. in the same way that the suggestion of featuring more fat black women on T.V. was criticized as promoting poor health right here in this comment section. I have seen several Jonah Hill movies where he’s gotten the typical slim, pretty girl and, no, he was not playing the roll of the “baller”. The message is supposed to be that despite obvious reasons, the pretty girl can see past it and like him for who he is. You do NOT see this same kind of representation for women, nor is it accepted by women and men who watch t.v./movies.

  • Perspective

    Ok “Bk Chick”

    You want to take it there lets take it there. (Cracks knuckles)

    “The men you mentioned in REAL LIFE are more attractive then the men I listed in the T.V. shows.”

    Really?! Really though? Russell Simmons, Nicholas Cage, Michael Douglas? These men are in their 50′s,60′s, and 70′s. Come on now – You are reaching BIG TIME.

    “In real life fat/bigger women get hit on by other men, get married, have families. ”

    Back to my original statement – women practice hypergamy and seek men with money. Men with money seek beautiful women. I notice you didn’t further elaborate on you statement and talk about how these men looked who were getting with fat or bigger women – nor did you bring up how much money they were making.

    As I stated – show me a Rich brotha with a fat woman on his arm and I’ll shut up. I know plenty of fat women who have men, unfortunately their men typically are broke and aren’t in the most desirable of black men category. We all know this to be true – so please don’t give me any of that WISHFUL THINKING STUFF.

    In reference to what you said about the characters not getting with rich men, blue collar guys – yet the REALITY is women still seek rich men IN REAL LIFE, further supports my point about what media can’t sell to people when THEY are the choosers. If women are choosing rich men, no about of blue collar promotion is going to make them go that route and not amount of fat girl promotion is going to make good looking or men with money desire plus size women.

    Also, the grievance that you have with these men being blue collar, unattractive white men, is something that you will have to take up with white media and the only sweet brotha promoting that non-sense which is Tyler Perry who caters to the BBW black female audience. Most brothas ain’t built like Michael Jai White but Tyler loves to throw his behind up on screen.

    “Do you denounce Ice-Cube and all his works!”

    (No comment)

    There has been a movement in white media to promote the MAN BOY. Shows like the office, Brothers with Will Ferall – this grown BOY thing, which only further supports how insignificant, baffonic, men are being portrayed even in the white community. Search the internet for a few articles about that. The buffoon husband with the super successful/more successful woman. The man boy! Where are you parading for justice on that?

    What you have to understand is that WOMEN are the market that is always catered to, more so than men. Women will spend their hard earned money to be coddled and praised, not men. Women don’t want to see women that they DON’T care to look like, only if they look like the undesirable woman themselves and get to see her get the HANDSOME rich man.

  • Ms. Information

    lollllllllllll..only regular commenters will get this…AM you are sttoooooppppiidd…lol..get it.

  • Lady P

    Now this is a worthy conversation in regards to overweight BW and our love interest being portrayal on the Big Screen. Bravo for this article, it provides the opportunity to just as Iyanla V. states to – “tell the truth people”

    Truth be told, I don’t think the big issue is as much as our portrayal on the Big Screen (yes, it is the topic). I just think that while we are on this subject; let’s just tell the truth that being an overweight BW are NOT as welcomed within any area. That is the truth! The healing aspect is regardless of what your size is; you have the power and the ability to turn it around. Once the weight issues are managed (to the best of that individual’s ability) better opportunities will present themselves. Confidence is key . Once gained; it shines and attracts. This is why the truth needs to be communicated to our sisters for (self)-improvement. Not for their boyfriends, husbands, or careers. For a more rewarding lifestyle and better health is the reason. This is a part of the sister solidarity, telling the truth. This truth will save their lives. If she is 180lbs, she will feel better at 153 (as example) hence better about herself…better marriages, relationships, sex life, promotions, and so forth.

    Now back to the original subject, I don’t think we see overweight BW being portrayed as a love interest because black love does NOT interest Hollywood on an overall scale (I would love to see a black version of the Notebook). First of all, black love is not of a “frontrunner” interested to black people/men. Black men barely like black women regardless of income: light, caramel, brown, dark brown. Now they still like the package, but not necessarily the carrier. I have noticed the higher the income, the more exotic (island) flavor is desired from what I’ve witness. There are a few remaining, but it seems as if the new appeal is the Kim Ks type. Really, if there isn’t a lack of a love interest for the black woman on any scale on or off camera regardless of size, then I don’t expect to see overweight love for the overweight BW on the big screen.

    All women (people) need love, but I think the first step is self-love and acceptance which will attract more. Which in return, more love is created off screen which will hopefully make it to the Big Screen. It is invisible, but has to be witness first, then portrayed.

  • Lady P

    @ Perspective

    I agree “Men with money seek beautiful women” — I have always heard rich men marry for beauty. Besides that point.. I just wanted to add I also think this is why people are shocked when very attractive women are not married yet or have never been.

    Some or maybe most will think something is wrong with you instead of thinking maybe the right one hasn’t came along yet.

  • Box

    Damn NIC spot on!

  • African Mami

    are you referencing to comment about ma boo boo?! If so, I gerrr it!! If not, ummmm…help a sista out!

  • http://aamnivore.blogspot.com Tanisha

    I personally love the movie Phat Girlz starring Mo’Nique. I think it’s a great example of positive portrayals of big black women in positive roles. Also, nearly anything by Queen Latifah is good.

  • http://cupofjo-jo.blogspot.com bk chick

    @ Perspective, you are essentially not addressing the point I made because none of what you are saying is taking on my point head on.

    These are average guys, economically and physically, getting with women who are their physical and often times intellectual superiors.

    You keep bringing up men with money traditionally being able to get anything they want. I am talking about shows/movies that feature either broke or not well off guys getting whoever they want.

    I think it’s great to see people who are normally rejected get portrayed as lovable by any kind of person and get accepted for who they are. But unfortunately women don’t have that luxury on screen. Unless they start ugly or fat and go through some major transformation, that’s the only time they’re deemed worthy, despite physical set backs .
    If you disagree with me, you are essentially saying that any kind of man, ugly, cute, tall, short, broke or rich, deserves a pretty woman. BUT only attractive women deserve to be with attractive men.

  • Ms. Information

    Yes…it just posted in a weird spot sorry…lol

  • Diane

    This is truly the most thought out and provocative comment on here. And we wonder why prejudice folks continue to spew, “You’re pretty, intelligent, well-spoken, etc., for a black girl” nonsense. It’s because of these so-called narratives white folks bestow upon us. It’s nonsense and frankly I’m tired of it.

  • http://gravatar.com/g2-b81731e78af6161d9b1ec82d30dec8a6 EntertainMe

    I can be called ignorant for this, but I don’t want to see it. I watch old movies more than anything & what I love about them was how the women looked. They were perfect on screen, their makeup, hair and their tiny waists, and I personally loved that. When I watch a movie, I don’t necessarily want to see what I see everyday in the streets or at my job.

  • Pink Lipstick


  • Perspective

    @ Bk Chick


    I don’t know if you are a black feminist or not but you do sound like one when observing how you make your connections – but let me get too it and get off the superficial personal attack stuff… OK

    1) First thing I want to say is with the show Everyone Love Raymond – YOUR POINT IS OUT – I went back and looked at the characters of the show – and they are compatible with each other ESPECIALLY IN THE LOOKS DEPARTMENT – bad example. King of Queens you have a case (about the looks) elaborate on that in a minute

    2) “These are average guys, economically and physically, getting with women who are their physical and often times intellectual superiors.”

    This dismantles your own argument and leaves the question is the show promoting a fat guy with a sense of humor with an attractive women or does it promote the idea to women that women are going to the damn moon with their careers and education as I stated with many shows and movies where it is abundantly obvious that recent television has gone from “Father knows best” to SUPER MOMS with the looks, education, and motherhood capabilities.

    3) You have this idea that what’s shown on television somehow translates into what goes on in the real world. You dismissed my statement about older men with money attracting younger women, and both you and another woman IGNORED that women who look good also seek men with money regardless of many things. Men as a rule don’t operate like that.

    You said “You keep bringing up men with money traditionally being able to get anything they want. I am talking about shows/movies”

    and no your not JUST talking about TV shows – because you said THIS COMMENT also

    ” In real life fat/bigger women get hit on by other men, get married, have families.”

    You at as though these women ARE getting rich, handsome, and successful men (Its basically what you INFERRED) because I don’t see the point in bragging about these women getting poor, fat, ugly men – but the reality IS that’s what most get who are OVERWEIGHT – because men seek the beautiful women they can get – but you insist that THIS IS REALLY WHAT’S GOING ON, handsome/rich man with overweight woman but – THE EVIL MALE DOMINATED MEDIA JUST WON’T SHOW IT.

    Come on yo!

    “I think it’s great to see people who are normally rejected get portrayed as lovable by any kind of person and get accepted for who they are. But unfortunately women don’t have that luxury on screen.”

    Thats a nice IDEAL – but that’s not the way the world works – and WOMEN need to be held accountable for that.

    Where are all the BEAUTIFUL 25 year old women REJECTING wealthy less attractive or older men? HMMM?

    “If you disagree with me, you are essentially saying that any kind of man, ugly, cute, tall, short, broke or rich, deserves a pretty woman.”

    Let me be bald, short, fat, ugly and pull up in a $200,000 car, you’re telling me I won’t be able to pull an attractive woman? Again who do you want to blame here? The men or the women who ACCEPT?!

    It sounds like your mad that men simply do go for ugly girls with money – unless he’s broke and ugly himself.

  • Perspective

    Typos –

    It sounds like your mad that men simply DON’T go for ugly girls with money – unless he’s broke and ugly himself.

    I see this frequently in these arguments. Women who are upset that MEN don’t accept what they accept.

    A man with money and bad looks can attract women. Is she using him. Most likely.

    How does an ugly man or poor man attract a successful education and beautiful women. Charisma I guess. Picture Morris Chestnut with a Monique. Just how would that play out?

    Ugly men should be arguing right along side you as to why THEY are always portrayed as the BUFFOON. Why can’t Brad Pitt be a handsome buffoon? Why does the good looking guy always get to be the dashing smart guy?

    If we swapped the couple for King of Queens would Morris be the comedic buffoon? Picture TJ Holmes loving up on a plus sized woman. I know that’s what plus sized women want to see – but you all are going to have one hell of a FIGHT with the slim in shape women, if you think this is just MEN and their misogyny. You haven’t seen misogyny until you see two women fight over a man.

    Skinny girls will fight for the fat black girl being accepted UNTIL SHE BECOMES COMPETITION.

    Dark skin girls will FIGHT for the light skin girls until they become COMPETITION.

    If men do the choosing – women do the accepting. Women could all this nonsense by saying – I will not day this ugly guy with money. Just as many childless black men have taken a stance against dating single mothers.

    Her baby status isn’t an issue until a man writes her off.

    As I stated King of Queens – women have an argument – but I feel the show makes the man look more buffoonish than anything while she’s the SIWW. Something that media loves to promote these days. If you don’t believe men name all the shows where the father is REALLY witty, solid, and holding it down. Cosby type shows. Dad is always this CLUTS.

    And again – keep in mind these shows are WHITE SHOWS. Take that up with WHITE MEDIA.

    I never thought Tisha Campbell was fly – Martin Laurence can have that.

  • ChillyRoad

    No one wants to be with a big woman. But women dont want to be with big men either.

  • isola

    Latifah gets her share of love interest, LL and Common for a start. I don’t think there is much out there for black women full figured or not.

  • cb

    the movie Phat Girlz starring Oscar-winner Monique

  • iforgotitall

    I am not sure if “everyone” want to be skinny. But a helluva lot of people want to be thinner than they are. It is quite clear than one of the fastest roads to wealth in America is to write a diet book or sell a diet pill. In fact, if Oprah came out with a diet book/series tomorrow, she would possibly double her current billion in 10 years.

  • iforgotitall

    There are more male characters in media who are MANBOYS or adult children because modern men have extended their childhoods. In that respect, TV is reflecting real life. If you look at modern men today most have much less responsibility than their fathers. They have achieved less than their fathers with more opportunities. Certainly in the BC, our forefathers struggled with very little yet acheived many things. At 30 today many men black or white are still playing video games and Xbox. BM throw a little extra time in for Youtube rants.

  • iforgotitall

    So what I get from your post is that BM are not outwardly expressing love for BW, but rather women of other races. That being the case why would we expect Hollywwod to then portray anything other than that? Is there any BM in Hollywood with an overweight black wife? Is there any younger BM celeb with a darker skinned black wife?
    So what I get, is BW are then asking Hollywood to create fantasies for them. Hmmmmmm

  • ?!?

    @Perspective – I already made my point about overweight black women in Hollywood, but I definitely see what bk chick is saying, and she is right.

    A fat, broke, unnattractive man getting a beautiful woman is a fantasy and very, very unlikely to happen. If they are going to create this fantasy where Doug Heffernon can get a pretty wife and Leonard can date Penny on The Big Bang Theory, they should do the same for women.

    The media is male dominated. They want to make beautiful women go for the unattractive guy even though the reverse would never happen. You say women just need to accept that they need to beautiful to get a rich or attractive man. Yes well men accept daily that they have to be attractive or rich to get beautiful women. This phenomenon of unattractive, broke men getting beautiful women really only happens on TV. If they’re going to do it for men, they should do it for women.

    The whole idea is that women marry for character whereas men just have to have a beautiful wife even if he doesn’t make the cut himself.

    We aren’t talking about who dates overweight women in real life. Men do the choosing after they have choices, and men like Leonard and Doug Heffernon usually don’t have choices like Penny and Carrie in real life. This is fiction, so it doesn’t matter right? The argument is that if you’re going to create unrealistic fiction for men, do it for women as well. TV is fantasyville anyway. I guess men don’t really like the idea of overweight women being chosen for character like they want from women.

  • http://cupofjo-jo.blogspot.com bk chick

    @ ?1? Yes! Thank you..I was starting to lose energy because I felt I was saying the same thing over and over again lol. Thank you for clarifying my point

  • waterlily

    I remember that in the 1990′s, there were more thin, attractive black women on mainstream tv. (Remember Clueless with Stacey Dash, Saved By the Bell, Fresh Prince, Different World.) Also, black women weren’t mocked ALL THE TIME by the white mainstream like we are now. Can someone tell me what happened from about 2001-2012?

  • Perspective

    Wow – I can see both of you STILL DON’T GET IT.

    So in other words what you to want is pretty much role reversal covered in some idea of EQUALITY or parity between men and women. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN and that is NOT just based on what men want contrary to popular belief.

    So I assume that women are going to start proposing to men and being the bread winner providing for the man as men have traditionally done WITH NO COMPLAINTS.

    Think about what you are arguing – you are arguing the PRESENTATION of something that DOESN’T MANIFEST in real life.

    Broke men don’t get the beautiful women.

    This would be like dark skin women complaining about all the black men in the media with white women YET 90% of black men date and marry black women.

    You are really complaining about a NONE-ISSUE issue is in your head as it is promoted.

    Next time you watch these show – tell me the type of commercials play in between the cut scenes – (mostly feminine products) hmmm I wonder why?

    Again, you women are complaining about the fact that MEN don’t seek nor pursue women like women pursue men. Again you are blaming men and the media for men preferring women for their looks and women seeking men for either money, or other factors.

    I told you these white people shows were a bad example for black women period aside from the fact that you are flat out not represented in them so you are basically embracing a WHITE WOMAN’S ISSUE since you are 100% absent from all the shows listed. Once again the black woman takes on the grievances the white woman has with the white man.

    Let’s factor in swag – Do you know how many BW have stated that a LAME with money doesn’t matter what matters is a brotha with SWAG – who’s fault is that? Let me guess it’s the men’s fault for creating a culture of swag that black women are FORCED to like and admire.

    Get real. Women accept what they want, and then complain about it because men are more physical than women.

    I can’t argue with you two. Both of you are complaining about the way the world works. I guess you assume that putting fat women in the media with handsome men is going to make more handsome men in the REAL WORLD date and prefer fat women.

    Uhhh Yea… Good Luck with that one.

  • Perspective


    Currently WOMEN are trying to shift western society to a matriarchal community in which there is no POSITIVE MALE IDENTITY.

    What women want is male responsibility devoid of male leadership or better put – they want male responsibility from a SUBORDINATE POSITION.

    Not going to happen. Men are simply not going to participate.

    The stupid thing is that women think that they are going to go to the damn moon but the the truth is that women do not create anything. They are dependent on men for just about everything even their “I’m successful jobs”

    Take one look at the black community. Black women have been saying they are more educated and successful than black men for a long time. Do you see anything being maintained in the black community?

    I sure don’t, and these are male responsibilities, but men are not going to participate when there is no social benefit. Unfortunately, that’s just the way it is. Women will never realize how important men really are until men just simply decide no to participate and the very pavement women stand on begins to crumble. Instead of incentivizing men to do as men have always done today’s women choose to TRY AND SHAME MEN. Which no longer works because you can’t SHAME a man with an ideal of a male role that NO LONGER EXIST NOR DOES HE ANY LONGER MEASURE HIMSELF BY.

    Welcome to equality. Women created this bed and now they have to lie in it.

    Get ready for more BABY MAMA’S, women swearing up and down they can do it by themselves, only to complain when they discover they can’t.

    Women want men to be responsible but DO NOT want to give men CONTROL.

    Please be my guest and tell me how someone is supposed to be 100% accountable and responsible for something that they don’t control?

  • Really??!!

    Why is this even a question? Black women need to be more concern about losing weight and being healthy. White women don’t go around glorifying being overweight/obese. They exercise, stay in the gym and eat right to not be fat and sloppy. But we look at being fat as being attractive and it’s not. Tell me why Octavia Spencer, Sherri Sheppard, Amber Riley, Gabourey Silbey are celebrated as being the representative of black women? We need to take a step back and look at what’s really going on. It’s white media laughing their butts off at black women’s attractiveness.

  • Really??!!

    I so agree with you about the black version of The Notebook. That would be AWESOME

  • ?!?

    @Perspective – What are you even talking about? Didn’t you get my point? It doesn’t matter that men don’t date fat women in real life. TV is fantasy. It doesn’t really reflect real life no matter how much you call these shows white shows, they still exist. And please don’t act like these shows and movies aren’t common.

    We are arguing for a presentation that doesn’t happen in real life. Again, how may times do I have to say that TV is fantasy? What does putting a fat woman with a reasonably attractive man have to do with women proposing and role reversal? Nothing. BEAUTIFUL WOMEN DATING UNNATTRACTIVE MEN IS UNREALISTIC.

    I just don’t even understand why you don’t understand. You said yourself that men seek women for looks whereas women seek men for money and resources. EXACTLY. And these shows present something that doesn’t exist in real life when they pair broke and unattractive men with beautiful women. So you want to create this fantasy for unnattractive men, do it for overweight women as well. You keep saying that only happens on white shows. What difference does it make? It’s a male/female dynamic in all races. The only reason you don’t see it on black shows is because there are so few black shows. But I’d you must have an example of a black show, when Steve Urkel was a nerd, his girlfriend Myra was pretty. How common is it for a pretty girl like Myra to choose a nerd? Would they ever do the reverse. No. Because men choose women for looks, and women choose men for resources and money and yada yada. See Steve Urkel is broke and unattractive, but he still gets the pretty girl who he has nothing to offer.

    I’m getting a headache just reading your comment. No one is arguing about the way the world works. I think everybody knows men choose women for looks over character. Are we sitting here whining about that? No. I accept that. The majority of women who are unattractive know they have no chance in heck of getting with Denzel Washington. But they will pay to watch a movie with Queen Latifah dating him even if it is unrealistic. So it’s a money maker. It doesn’t matter if you think Queen Latifah is unattractive and could never get him. If Tyler Perry can make a movie about a gun-wielding granny, someone can surely do a movie like that.

    I’m tired of typing. There just can be no way a person cannot comprehend what we’re writing. It’s fiction. People make unrealistic crap all the time. If you can make a movie about blue people and glow in the dark trees, you can make a movie with a fat woman dating an attractive man. It’s one darn movie. No one is trying to shame you into dating Monique or marrying big women. You also don’t even have to watch the freaking movie. You can scream in every overweight woman’s face that nobody wants her too if that makes you feel good. It’s a free country.

    You keep saying people are trying to force you to do this or be attracted to that. You said it on the fat behinds article as well. No one is trying to change what men like. Got it? Everyone knows what the heck you all like. When can turn on a freaking hip hop video and see what you all like. Chubby chasers actually exist. It doesn’t matter if most men prefer thin women. There are men that like overweight women. So if there are men that prefer big women in real life no matter how few they are, then surely you can write a show for these couples.

    I am not fat at all. I’m simply making an argument. Your hatred of fat women makes you think they should feel like crap and undesirable even in the fantasy world. And you hate the idea that people are saying let’s make a movie for bigger girls because you want them to feel like crap. For the thousandth time, it is fantasy.

    @bk chick – I understand girl. I just can’t even begin to understand what making a movie like Phat Girls has to do with women proposing marriage.

  • Dawn Elise

    Campaign for short black men?

  • ?!?

    @Nic – I’m good on all those things. I’m just sick of stereotypical black characters on TV or underhanded things meant to lower our stock.

    Hollywood doesn’t go around requesting black drug dealers and women with a whole gang of oow children as much anymore, but this kind of stuff is the same thing. I don’t want to see a black woman with a bunch of oow kids as a character. I don’t want to see some black man who has kids all over the place and can’t control his sex drive. I don’t want to see some black kid hip hop dancing and speaking Ebonics and thriving in basketball while failing all his classes. And I get tired of every black woman on a TV show being overweight. And the white women are fit! And the Asian women are fit! And the Latino women are fit! And the white men are fit! And they pick the best looking black men they can find: Boris Kodjoe, Shemar Moore, Blair Underwood, LL Cool J., Damon Wayans Jr. Surely y’all can see that black men don’t let themselves get played like that.

    And there are a lot of overweight black men and white women and Latina women are not far behind black women when it comes to being overweight, but when you turn on the TV, you aren’t gonna see any fat Latinas. No. You’re going to see Sofia Vergara. You’re going to see the stereotype of the sassy, sultry, Latina. I just can’t believe that black women are asking to have their stock lowered even more.

    It’s not just about overweight women. It’s image.

    People have complained about image on this site many times before not just when it comes to overweight women. We complain about all those things you mentioned too.

    It’s like that Ole Miss black homecoming queen. Do you really think they were just being nice? In people’s minds their is ALWAYS something wrong with a black woman. She’s low class, attitudinal, or unattractive. When you don’t fit a stereotype, people get uncomfortable. Look at how people tried to make Michelle Obama an angry black woman. So all of these overweight black actresses are okay because they reinforce the idea that black women can never be the total package. They may be classy. They may be nice. They may be pretty in the face, but they’re overweight.

  • Zaza

    On lipstick alley I was in a thread where someone was arguing that it’s wrong that ‘the only black women on TV are overweight’ mammy types. Seems either way not everynoe will be happy. If slim black women are on TV/Film, then people complain fat women are being ignored, if fat black women are on TV/Film, then someone will complain TV/Film are wrong for showing fat black women that sterotypes us all as fat!

    I welcome black female actors in lead roles of whatever size, but I’m not going to lie, I love seeing a slim, beautiful black woman in a main/romantic role as thats a rarity.

    I get needing to reflect reality and the reality is a lot of black women are overweight, but hollywood is fantasy= do all white women look like the average white actress?. I’m sorry but I think we see enough of the overweight, jolly ‘unthreatening’ unsexually attractive black woman image on tv/film, I would take a few more healthy, in their prime looking black women, to represent us on tv first. Sorry, my opinion.

  • chinaza

    We have given too much power to popular media and men in shaping our self-esteem. It’s all about looks and surface not our worth as human beings. And we’re all affected because these “ideals” are promoted everywhere not just Hollywood. Who do we see in black magazines? Who are the modern icons in our music?
    Statistically, most women will never conform to what our skewed culture portrays as “beautiful”and “sexy”. Many of us actually look better than that!
    Yet there are million dollar businesses built on our insecurities about our weight, colour, hair and age.
    We no longer see our real attraction that comes from being kind, honest, caring, humorous and loving. And unique.
    So how can anyone else see it?
    Remember “no-one can make you feel inferior without your consent” (Eleanor Roosevelt).

  • http://gravatar.com/todra T. Payne

    I have just began acting and when my manager sends me to read a script, I am so excited until I get there and realize it’s some, “I’m a poor, single parent who can’t feed my kids,” role. And they want a certain tone and attitude from the character. I am nothing like that and I don’t have children. I realize it’s called, “acting,” but I’m so disgusted with the stereotypes that I end up not even trying to get the roles. Another thing is I’m told I have a great “look on camera”, but…they can’t figure out how to categorize me because I am very fit (size 4 and athletically built), well spoken, I have natural hair and I’m dark-skinned. If I’m going to be fit and well spoken, I need to be light-skinned, or at least be caramel with a butt grazing weave. But as a dark-skinned woman, I need to overweight, loud and funny. I’m sick to death of these boxes we have to fit in if we want to work in media. As a side note, I don’t have issues with weaves, overweight women, light-skinned women, etc. I’m just tired of being told what we HAVE to be. I would love to see all different races of women on the screen without stereotyping us.

  • Marsey

    Miss Loretta Devine, enough said!

  • soulfullyreal

    I think characters that are more mature (mid 30s up, like a Jill Scott, Queen Latifah or Loretta Divine) can be seen as love interests b/c a more mature man is more focused on finding a “whole” woman with something to offer as opposed to just eye candy. Younger love interests tend to be a reflection of the younger generations, i hate to say it, but more shallow standards, so the love interest will always look like Megan Good, Paula Patton, etc. Now I’m 5’11, 220lb, and never had trouble w/ guys. There are so many beautiful plus sized woman who deserve to have their stories told. However, if the film is aimed at a younger audience, likely women like us are the butt of jokes, as if we’re all lonely in our rooms eating twinkies all day, FOH! Like i said, i feel it’s more of a generational thing with us young ppl who are being trained to believe that looking like Kim K is the only way to be, and filmmakers pick up on that.

  • Perspective

    Yea I’m pretty much done with the argument too


    If this is the platform you stand on – there is really no point in me arguing with you.

    Unrealistic – REALLY? Really?

    Yea – I can see I’m waisting my time here.

  • Blaque217

    If one is to believe that Hollywood truly pays attention to the desires of its audience and explores those authentic nuances on film…screech…pump the breaks…what fantasy land are you living in. Everyone knows that Hollywood pays attention to one thing and one thing only…MONEY! And just because people pay money to go see movies doesn’t mean that we think the characters in those movies represent us in any way.

    That being said, having just lost a significant amount of weight, I can see both sides of this “overweight Black woman” argument. On one hand, it would be nice to see a plus size African American woman in a leading role of a romantic comedy. But I immediately think of the movie Mr. Wright with Queen Latifah and Common and it just wasn’t believable to me. Could someone like Queen Latifah or Jill Scott be pull off a role as a desirable plus size woman? Sure. It just hasn’t been done and I doubt it ever will.

    One the other hand, when I go to a movie, I want to be transported and entertained. When I pay money to see a sexy leading man, I want to see someone like Denzel Washington or Idris Alba save the world and sweep a beautiful woman off her feet. I wouldn’t pay good money to see…let’s say, CeeLo Green romance Mo’Nique. If I wanted that image engrained in my head, I would check out my next door neighbors or family members. When I go to movies, I want the fantasy not people who look like they should be walking around Wal-Mart with a shopping cart and four or five chirren following behind them.

    The bottom line is that people need to be comfortable in their own skin and stop looking at Hollywood for validation. There are a shortage of Black actors and actresses to start off with. And there are even less Black actresses who actually look Black. The ones who are working are either mixed race or trying hard to look mixed. That doesn’t make the rest of us any less beautiful. So if there is never an overweight leading Black actress on the silver screen, we can’t let that take away from our own personal self-esteem in any way.

  • c diane mcnealy

    you are kidding, right? If that is all we have to complain about, then
    we are indeed going okay

  • Lana Leazer

    Last Holiday with Queen Latifah, Just wright with Queen Latifah, Waiting to Exhale- Loretta Devine, all romantic leads…check your facts..it goes for white women as well, Hollywood just wants ALL leads regardless of color to look thin..

  • Hillary

    I love this post and could not agree more. Media representations of fat women of color are often as comical or asexual beings, which can true for some folks, but not for all.

    What I struggle with here is how fat women are portrayed in the media, and what a positive representation would be. Possibly something where a woman celebrates her body and those around her celebrate it as well. Where her body is sexy, not fetishized, and if she desires, she has the power to use her body ns a sexy way for her own personal pleasure.

    This concept has been, and is at times, still scary for me to think about because it is so shamed in our society. However, thinking about fat bodies as sexy bodies, and fat bodies that are good role models for other girls and women, and bodies that are beautiful because they are fat, not inspite of the fact, has been something very empowering for me to think about.

    As a cisgender white woman, I write from a place of incredible privilege. I am wondering how the struggles of embracing fatness as a woman of color differ from that of my experience as a white woman, and how embracing fatness as a transwoman differs from my experiences as a ciswoman? Are there places where we can challenge patriarchy together? How can we work with each other to talk about our bodies as they authentically exist? How do we portray our bodies in a way that is accurate of how we experience them and demonstrates how we want other to experience them with us?

  • http://www.facebook.com/corry.williams.5 Corry Williams

    Good point the only lead role or close to lead roles was where the lead was a plus size women was the movie BAPS and Show Girls w/ Jennifer Hudson and The Monique movie where she weds a African King who is a doctor.

  • Stars

    you’re not a fat black woman are you?

  • stars

    hollywood fantasy = white folks especially the women. so even the slender black women doesn’t fit the status quo. But the reality is that there are many black women who are thicker than the average boy skinny white girl prototype for slender black women. we’re not all unhealthy. Jill Scott and Queen Latifah represent us quite well in terms of style, beauty, sexiness. So did Jennifer Hudson prior to her congratulatory weight loss. Although it is your opinion, perhaps you should review it to see if it hasn’t been tainted by negative stereotypes that we are undesirable and unhealthy as well as be unlovable! We are in fact fabu. The men in reality love us and Hollywood’s fantasy is to reflect reality to tell a story.

  • chrystal

    Although Hollywood is a fantasy if you keep seeing the samethings over and over you began to think its reality, its hard to believe but it will enter your subconscious.

  • http://www.asthebutterbeansboil.com Jayme Wills

    Wow! I guess I’d better make sure my adoring professional, do anything for me,thinks I hung the moon, white husband doesn’t see this article and all the negative comments about big, black women. Sorry folks! Acceptance MUST come from within. Too many women of all races are waiting to be validated by someone else. I didn’t reach any level of success and mental clarity until I realized my struggles with weight did not define me as a person. When I lifted the fog, I found all the things I’d dreamed of. I can only hope the same would happen for everyone no matter what size they might be.

  • Pingback: Hollywood’s Invisible Love Interest: The Overweight, Black Woman | Raynetta Manees, Writer & Novelist

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