The Age of The Fat Ass

by Frugivore

In a patriarchal society dominated by superficial beauty and sex, the feminine form has always been the canvas upon which men painted their whimsical desires. Thin, thick, big breasts, small breasts, slim ankles and wide hips, whatever is fodder for male wet dreams, becomes the standard for female beauty. Then the dream changes, and many women are left scrambling to change themselves to stay “in style.”

This has never been more apparent than now, “The Age of The Fat Ass.”

Sure, a curvaceous figure has been “in” since the Rubenesque period, but now it has become dangerous. Take a look at the story of Apryl Brown, which is but one example of the devastation caused by a disturbing trend. Jones was forced to get both her arms and legs amputated because of butt injections she received at a “pumping party.” Placing the blame on insecurity about her figure, she became a motivational speaker to inspire women to encourage one another:

“We don’t validate each other,” she says. “We really don’t know how our friends feel about us, unless we have very expressive friends.”

But we know how men feel about us. We know to many of them, we are nothing but sex objects and many women mis-identify that objectification as empowerment, particularly in the context of Hip-Hop. In an astonishingly sexist article, Vibe.com decided to examine the evolution of ass in Hip-Hop. Yes, booty has, and continues to be an integral part of the culture, but this was no scholarly dissertation or respectful appreciation of the female backside.

From Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé, to Buffy the Body and Rihanna, there is a slide show without a shred of pretense at anything other male gratification. It was merely “during this year, this male rapper decided that this ass is what women should aspire to,” slapped in a “Sexy” Issue as a bold testament to the control men have over what is considered sexy, subsequently, brainwashing women into exaggerating the body part du jour that they believe makes them beautiful.

Truth moment: Though most women will say they take pride in their big butt, imagine for one moment that it wasn’t desirable to men?

(Continue Reading @ Frugivore…)

  • http://gravatar.com/jamesfrmphilly jamesfrmphilly

    i prefer slim and tight……

  • The Comment

    What’s yo number? Holla.

  • The Comment

    You know. My aunt told me back in the day…no one appreciated a black woman’s ass. That she would wear girdles to suppress her militant backside that always wanted to rise to top. So I say….give ‘em shine…Hell, give them all the shine they want.

    Everyone has to have a turn at the shine: There was a time when only dark skin men with super duper Gheri Curls were popular–Ready 4 the World, Full Force–Big Daddie Kane. Then it was light skin dudes like El DeBarge and Christopher Williams. It was a time that you had to wash your ass and look classy to get a record deal. Now, any gutter trash that rolled of the streets of (you fill in the blank) can rap on the mic……fleas and cavity creeps in toe.

    Everyone gets a chance to be in the spotlight.

  • ChillyRoad

    “But we know how women feel about us. We know to many of them, we are nothing but wallets and work horses and many men mis-identify that objectification as chivalrous and gentlemanly.”

    There, I fixed it for you.

  • Perspective

    I have a serious problem with the MALE BLAMING OF THIS ARTICLE.

    Ms. Brown – STUPIDLY went off and got an unlicensed person to inject industrial grade silicone into her body – THAT WAS DUMB.

    I do grow tired of black women placing their insecurities on black men.

    I do agree with women however that just because a woman isn’t the IDEAL that suddenly she ain’t ish – but I could say the same thing about men who are short, or don’t measure up to the IDEALS of black male swagger that young black women desire so much these days.

    I’m really tired of black women BOO-HOOIN’ about their body image. Most sistas UNFORTUNATELY refuse to even go to the gym, are overweight – not even in the ball park of REASONABLE desirability but want to complain about men finding certain black women more attractive.

    What do you suggest, shaming men into finding women that they don’t truly find attractive, attractive?

    Oh a woman hasn’t felt rejection until a man is with her who really isn’t feeling her like that and won’t to RAVISH HER as she expects.

    Shaming men into desiring you, or constantly arguing against what black men find attractive when it comes to black woman’s bodies only makes black women look bitter.

    Let me be with a white woman – first thing out black women’s mouths is – the white girl doesn’t have an ass.

    Let me be with a black woman with ass now they’re complaining about her actually being into a woman with ass – ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

    Brothas just can’t win with sistas.

    Complaints, complaints, complaints. I don’t have an issue with the topic – I have an issue with the CHARGING OF MEN.

    Women will try to get a man to cosign everything on them that would be deemed undesirable on another woman.

    “Oh you need to like fat girls and not be so brain washed by the media.”

    Let me be with a fat sistas – OTHER SISTAS – “Oh you can do better than that!”

  • The Comment

    It’s on now……..

    But I was watching an episode of Hip Hop ATL and it occurred to me that women are not getting back door booty injections (not anal sex) in competition w/each other. I never heard the men ever at all mention the size of a woman’s butt. I think having a donkey azz is the new long hair craze.

  • Melanie

    Jeez. He made some points. :/

  • lol

    *meow*

    he’s mine!

    *flashes claws*

  • African Mami

    +1,000,000

  • http://gravatar.com/benman1 benman

    FYI, the older you get (over 30) the less attractive all that weight looks (think Rasputia). Keep your weight down. JMO Don’t worry about what the uneducated, fat white/light/bright baby mamma is doing/able to do. Play your own hand. You’ll win every time.

  • victoria

    I agree.

  • Robbie

    A man that does not love you for who you are is not worth your time. It is about time women learn to love themselves and not let the media, co-workers, friends and family members tell them how they should look.

    Love yourself the way God intended you to be. I am not saying that if you get the chance to improve your well-being by exercising and eating right, that you should not. All I am saying is the way that people view you should NOT be a factor in how you see yourself.

    True friends and true love will accept and love you with your imperfections no matter what they are.

    Black women to work on their self-esteem and need to cut off people that bring negativity into their lives. Not all men love their woman stacked up. Find one that loves you just the way you are. I know the subject too well. As a black petite in frame woman, I have been teased a lot by who? Black men/women. I thank God for being a really strong woman and not letting anyone’s beauty standards dictate my life.

  • Jaslene

    Love everything you said. Lol gutter trash.

  • LaNubiana

    So we’re just going to pretend like women who gone thru with this foolishness aren’t to blame? Bloody hell! No one put a gun to their head, they chose to do this for whatever reason. When messing with Mother Nature there is always consequences. Sadly, we hardly hear or see men altering themselves in order to more appealing. I wish we women would recognize our enteral strength and embrace our external image and love ourself unconditionally. Stop such bloody madness and know your feminine strength, our womanhood.

    As the saying, “A man is the head of the household, but the woman is the neck, with the ability to turn the head any direction.”

  • Queen*

    I hate that I was very happy with my body before this craze started, hopefully I make it out of this “tip drill” phenom without succumbing to plastic surgery:( I think media can bring even the strongest woman down sometimes. Unfortunately there are no easy answers or scape goats when it comes to body image issues. As a 28yr old athletically built black woman living in the ghetto with curvier & overweight black women and Latinas I am the minority. It’s hard to love yourself when you don’t see your type of beauty being celebrated. Walking down the street witnessing how men literally salivate and break their necks EVERYTiME for a peak off some ass, and don’t even see me at all, one guy even bumped into me from staring at a womans ass so hard, it began to chip away at my self esteem no matter how attractive pple said I was and that they would kill for a toned body Iike mine I still saw how men treated girls with “fatties” they were put on pedestals and always had a mans attention. Ive seen entire rooms be distarcted by A pear shape! Lol foreal!! I don’t blame these men or media because i think these womens curvy bodies are attractive to and even I look and wish I had a little more body fat lol;) then after coming home I have to hear my father and brother discuss how attractive a big booty is, then turn on the TV and u know the rest….

  • Artemisia

    good for you…but I think you’re missing the point.

  • Lady P

    I totally agree with you. I tell my girlfriends all the time to be with the man who adores YOU. Everybody has a preference. I don’t understand why society doesn’t accept this. You cannot pass blame on a man if he loves a curvy woman. That is what he likes. If a woman is overweight, the BEST thing she can do is get in “fit” for herself. Once she does this, then she’ll attract what is best for her. Her self-esteem will soar and men are naturally attracted to that trait as well.

  • Chillyroad

    If youre healthy be happy. If you didnt care so much about pleasing everyone, you wouldnt be mad when you didnt.

  • http://gravatar.com/jamesfrmphilly jamesfrmphilly

    what all this stuff over looks is that it is the spirit that actually attracts.
    has little to do with the flesh. i have had women who did not fit anybody’s idea of ideal.
    i loved them to pieces because they were so vivacious. it’s the spirit y’all.

    the mind is the primary sexual organ.

  • Ms. Information

    I was mercessily teased about the size of my behind for yeeeaarrrsss in high school by men AND women…I wore jackets around my waist until I graduated from undergrad…it is just weird to see the tides turn…my best friend who is fine and slim always encouraged me and I do they same for her because people also dog her for being slim…people need to cut their own grass and stop worrying about everybody else.

  • Cocochanel31

    Awww be encouraged! As a thinner girl growing up I too felt this allll of my high school career and even some of college..but started getting a bit of hips and butt sophmore year. By the time I was 26 I was considered “slimp phat” by some troll, anyhoo, all that to say love yourself the way you are, because all that fat back and cottage cheese they loving now will be just that, fatback and cottage cheese after a few children and age. You are ahead of the curve bc you’re naturally thin.Not to mention, do you really want that kind of negative attention??? Those men are DROOLIN over flesh not heart, not beauty..at least you know the man who drools over you wants you for you and not your backside!!

    Also you can always do daily squats and lifts to accentuate your rear. Janet Jackson swears by these lol

    STay up sis!

  • http://gravatar.com/rastaman1967 Rastaman

    Contrary to popular opinion, it is not only black women who are bootylicious, white women, Arab women, Latin women and east Indian women have big butts too. It’s just that predominant WASP culture that dominated our mass media did not see that look as appealing and so our media depicted large behinds on women as undesirable.

  • http://gravatar.com/clnmike Tontton Michel

    Lol, very clever

  • http://gravatar.com/clnmike Tonton Michel

    Three for the win

  • http://gravatar.com/clnmike Tonton Michel

    You can not force men to not like what they like anymore than you can force woman. to do the same It is what it is. Your better off being happy with your self. Those women who have issues with body image do not have men as their problem they esteem isuues.

  • Yvette

    Agreed.

  • http://gravatar.com/jamesfrmphilly jamesfrmphilly

    show me your point and i’ll show you mine……

  • Sweetles

    ” Walking down the street witnessing how men literally salivate and break their necks EVERYTiME for a peak off some ass,”

    Getting gawked at all of the time is not what it is cracked up to be. Trust me, those men that salivate and break their necks to look at a woman’s behind are not the kind of men you want to be involved with anyway. Some women ( like myself) would rather fly under the radar than to be stared at like a piece of meat. Just love yourself, and you will be just fine.

  • http://gravatar.com/pocketsizednegro Courtney**

    It’s a shame when someone called “Perspective” seems to intentionally miss half the damn picture.

    ANY standards of beauty for women are deeply ingrained in patriarchy. You cannot separate a woman’s desire to be attractive to the (often unrealistic) standards that are set for beauty – BY MEN. There’s a saying on the internets – “be fuckable or die.” For a lot of our society, if you are not attractive, you literally have no value. Your words are not worth hearing. Your ideas aren’t worth expressing. Your entire worth is dependent upon how many men would be willing to masturbate with your body. I mean damn – I KNOW you had to have read half the articles on this very site discussing if black women are too independent – TO GET A MAN. If we’re too fat – TO GET A MAN. If we’re too this, that – TO GET A MAN. We are all responsible for our conscious actions, but don’t act brand new and pretend like the pressure to conform to whatever arbitrary beauty ideals of the current era is imaginary and meaningless. That’s all well and dandy that you’re “tired of black women placing their insecurities on black men.” Let me give you the other part of that picture – ALL women of ALL races are held to the standards of beauty as projected by their culture. East Asian women have to be pale and delicate, and undergo blepharoplasty and rhinoplasty to have those wonderful “western” (European) features. Indian women also bleach their skin to achieve the same effect of whiteness. While the “phat ass” might be contrary to the long-held idealization of thinness, it’s still deeply rooted in what (straight) men find attractive. And you still have to fight that in conjunction with colorism, hair envy/worship, etc.

    It is NOT just black women “boo hooing” about body image, unless you seem to think eating disorders are a predominantly black phenomenon? Your willful obtuseness is astonishing. Absolutely NO ONE is talking about “shaming men into desiring us.” It seems like you’re not even ranting about things that are even being discussed and took this article as another opportunity to lambast black women about “personal responsibility,” while completely ignoring the very real ideas and concepts being expressed. Why don’t you just go vote for Romney and get it out of your system already?

    “Let me be with a white woman – first thing out black women’s mouths is – the white girl doesn’t have an ass.”

    Yep. And so it begins. All black women have nasty attitudes, care so much about interracial dating and are jealous of white women. Dude – your concern trolling, while touching, is a bit played out.

    “Let me be with a black woman with ass now they’re complaining about her actually being into a woman with ass – ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

    Brothas just can’t win with sistas.”

    Someone call the WAAHHmublance. Now who’s “boo-hooing?” Oh poor black men, with all their choice and judgements about who they date.

    “Complaints, complaints, complaints. I don’t have an issue with the topic – I have an issue with the CHARGING OF MEN.”

    The only one COMPLAINING here is you. Everyone else is discussing the very real (and acknowledged) existence of male-imposed beauty standards on the self-esteem of women.

  • Anthony

    This thread reminds me of joke I read in a men’s magazine when I was young. A man was about to make love woman, and when he pulled down his pants, she saw he had a small penis. The asked, “who do you think you will satisfy with that?” the young man smiled and said, “me!”

    We all want to desired by those we find attractive, but we all need to take step back!
    Every man is not going to look like Blair Underwood, every woman will not look like Kerry Washington or Stacey Dash.

    More to the point, I think men like to look at huge booties, but most men aren’t anymore hung up on endless hineys any more than we really want women with 52GG bra sizes.

    That said, if you are supernaturally well endowed, more power to you!

  • ?!?

    You make some interesting points in your comment, but as Courtney mentioned, you used it as another way to denigrate BW when all of that wasn’t even called for. ALL women are pressured to fit into a certain standard of beauty in their community. White women are pressured to be thin probably way more than we are pressured to have big butts. All this article was saying is that men’s desires and preferences can cause women to do stupid things to attain that look. I don’t know why you went into black man vs. black woman mode.

    As someone mentioned on another article, the men on this site start throwing daggers anytime “Man” is in the title or some article discusses men. Here you come with the same lame gender war crap. I’m surprised you didn’t try to link big butts to matriarchy and weave lol.

  • Realityplease

    I feel like if you have a big rear then own it,embrace it just don’t make it the only thing people notice about you, i.e (endless avi pictures of your backside and leggings 3 and a half sizes too small just for effect) I just think its sad how women are going through a whole heap of trouble to get the juicy booty they feel is desirable, while claiming they love themselves and are confident in themselves.
    Women are paying to get curves that most of the time look completely out of sync with their bodies and incredibly painful and uncomfortable. They’d rather bear the back ache and circus amazement stares than work on appreciating themselves, and these are the role models for young girls? Now I myself have a little junk in my trunk and I love it.. it is what it is, however I love it for a different reason now, one that doesn’t centre around a male and his desires. It’s easy to blame men for this new obsession, however the power is in the mind and women need to take responsibility for their own minds. It’s all good wanting your body to be a certain way within its means but going out of your way to get that “I’ve just stuffed two cushions in my trousers” look for the benefit of someone who probably couldn’t care less about your well being…. is certainly not confidence… it’s actually quite sad.

  • http://www.chicnoirhouse.blogspot.com Chic Noir

    Hey babe ! *winks at James*

  • Gell0h0h

    I have been teased for having a “white girl’s butt” simply because it is not as rotund as other female bottoms I presume and does not elongate itself from my eyebrows to my toes. Anyhoo, this guy whom I was really interested in would tease me about it and say, “You only have thighs.. no @$$” and it stopped when I told him, “The man who takes your place will have no problem with it.” He shut up. I left him and his @$$ fetish alone… Ladies, love yourself and appreciate it. Big booty, juicy booty, flat booty, no booty, maybe – a- booty. Just accept it. And I learned that squats and lunges are not the enemy as I once believed them to be. :) Toodles.

  • paul

    why are you doing squats to make your ass bigger but telling everyone else to accept what they got?

    and what was the point of leaving the guy with the “ass fetish” if you intended to give into the ass fetish craze?

    Some people are bare confused as young UK black kids say.

    lol

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  • Anthony

    Paul, squats are the single best weightlifting exercise a person can do. They activated more muscles than any other excercise. Squats will definitely build muscle, but they cannot give someone a “steatopygic” rear if they don’t have that body type. Why knock a sister for working out?

  • paul

    @anthony

    LOL!

    steatopygic?

    you disrespekkin my sistas, pathologizing the fact that many black women are heavily laden in the ass area?

    I don’t think black women are “steatopygic” any more than white women are PANNICULUS-gic or FUPA-gic

    lmao!

    Furthermore the squat is not undisputed best compound movement, weight training excercise,

    The deadlift is perhaps even better, since it involves even more muscles than the squat, eg the biceps, traps. But yeh – squat is king for glutes.

    Wasn’t knockin the sista for working out, I was amused by her self contradictions.

  • http://gravatar.com/mimiandy1683 MimiLuvs

    In regards to the Clutch entry, I understand the author’s point of view. Our opinions are different, but I can acknowledge that it is her opinion.
    In regards to the women who are planning on getting (or experienced having) their body surgically altered (I hate using the term ‘plastic surgery’: I am not going to knock you. All I hope is for you to research, research and research surgeons, clinics, pre- and the post care after the surgery.
    Side note: Am I the only person who finds it annoying that a woman has to down another woman, in order to pick up her self-esteem? For instance, I know some women (who are thin) who will say “I am thin, but it is in my favor because when them thick chicks get older, their bodies are going to do downhill…”
    I wonder have these women ever thought that maybe their lackluster attitude is not helping?

  • Chrissy

    Love your comment Courtney**

    I really cant for the life of me understand why a person that cant stand black women constantly trolls this site.

  • Echi

    Same here. I remember being made fun of in middle school because my butt was too big. About sophomore year in high school is when I noticed that the tide had changed from an emphasis on the chest to that of the backside. I once used to hide my rear end, and now, I am finding that compared to what’s flashed on music videos and the like, mine’s pretty average sized, if not, *significantly* smaller than say a Nicki Minaj or Buffy the Body. Oh well…

  • Eric

    @ChillyRoad No response, but bucket full of dislikes. Telling

  • Eric

    I’m with @Perspective on this. This is apex fallacy. Women want high value men & want to be celebrated by those men, so they will do whatever to achieve that imperative.

    When a (black) man does fit to female specifications. He is invisible until a (black) woman needs a mess to clean up. And has it WAY worse than the average (black) woman in America.

    Black woman’s issues are mostly self-inflicted & can be avoid (OOW kids, weight, attitude), but what happens when you fall for the hype

    Black men being born into a situation where you have to be twice a good as everybody else just to have a seat at the table where others need are either mediocre, or just well-connected

    But women are so focused on pleasing men that don’t give a sh*t about your existence, you fall for the okey doke ad think all men got it going on.

  • Ms. Information

    Be good SMH…lol

  • Rue

    Honey, I’ve been called a “skinny bitch”, a “beanpole”, a “ten y-o Chinese boy”, and an “no good food eating bitch”. Whatever. Don’t sweat it. If a big ass were the be all and end all the Kim Kardashian would not have 2 divorces behind her. *shrug*

  • Patience

    “Am I the only person who finds it annoying that a woman has to down another woman, in order to pick up her self-esteem?”

    No, of course you aren’t. I once had a ‘friend’ tell me that she wouldn’t want to be my size because of the size of boobs. Mind you, girlfriend, she was 300 lbs with a lot of confidence about her appearance.

  • Patience
  • Gell0h0h

    I actually did not give into the fetish. Rather instead of doing the same lower body exercises I would previously, I was introduced to squats and lunges. And I hated them in the beginning, but after a while I enjoyed being able to do them as I could not do a set before. You’re right I did say accept it, but for everyone who doesn’t or is in the limbo, there are other ways. Thanks for your response. Have a good one sir.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    Well damn…all of this!…lol but you are right if today or tomorrow comes and “elbows” are in that body part would be fetishized to death so let’s not pretend society doesn’t dictate or police women’s body.

  • apple

    I’m 33-24-39 and personally i hate my butt, never can find the right clothes, anything makes me look like a slut and men harrass me by grabbing at me… i’m exercising to lose it

  • BlkOne

    The older you get the less attractive all that weight looks (think Ras.put.ia). Keep your wieght down. JMO Don’t worry about what the uneducated, fat white/light/bright baby mamma is doing/able to do. Play your own hand. You’ll win every time

  • Stanley

    And then the writer’s trying to blame it all on men. All men!

  • zelda

    waaah waaah waaah!

    i’m the poor wittle black nerd who went for the hot chick (nevermind going for the nerdy chick) and was rejected , plus the man got his foot on my throat…

    waah waaah waaaaaaaah!

  • Anthony

    IF tht’s your shape, then that’s your shape. Excercise will just make your fanny stand up higher even if you lose weight. The next time a man grabs your rear, you should scream “rape” at the top of your lungs! That will likely scare the crap of him.

  • Ms. Information

    @ apple…I am 38-26-44…I have been harassed my whole life and try to find things that are too big for me…I feel you..I run and walk EVERYDAY.

  • Perspective

    @ Courtney

    All your frustrations and animosities towards me or black men pushed aside. There is no way of getting around it.

    What does this piece do? Does it solve the problem for women?

    I love how you deflected to other races of women and THEIR insecurities as if black female insecurities don’t seem to be a constant black meme!

    “The only one COMPLAINING here is you. Everyone else is discussing the very real (and acknowledged) existence of male-imposed beauty standards on the self-esteem of women”

    I’m glad you pointed out it’s been acknowledged like a dead horse – so what’s your solution since you choose to blame it on PATRIARCHY. Male-imposed.

    In other words – I guess you would PREFER a matriarchy where WOMEN define what is attractive to men. How in the hell is that going to work.

    You basically want a world where there isn’t a GENERAL consensus among men that “X,Y, or Z” is attractive in or on a woman. You completely ignore how human nature and attractive work. Its as if you expect all different men to like vastly different things in women so that all women will be chosen. Seriously think about that. How the hell does that work? I do believe that media warps or shifts the preferences because of what’s promoted but not that greatly. A woman with a horn growing out of her forehead will never be attractive to me no matter how much it’s promoted.

    The reality is there is NO REAL SOLUTION TO THIS. Men are going to be attracted to what they like, and the women who fall out of that or aren’t that are going to complain profusely. Men don’t have to create any sort of explicit standard that standard is created simply through who they pick.

    All you have to do is have 2 women and have the majority of a men in a room say the one on the left and you have a beauty standard in comparing the two women. Woman A is desirable and woman B is not.

    How you expect to fight that I have no clue, other than, again, FORCING MEN TO FIND WOMEN ATTRACTIVE THAT THEY DON’T.

  • Eric

    @Zelda

    I am no victim. But to ignore the external influence is asinine.

    As far as the nerdy black girls, they were either hiding, or doing some rejecting of their own. If a woman is average and she is a good to excellent woman, she’s getting the ring in this ratchet climate

  • African Mami

    that young man’s response just made my day!!!! Oh my.Lovely

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    “What if tiny butts were in vogue, the smaller the better?”

    Um, am I missing something? Does the author not know who sets the dominant standards of beauty across the planet? When have tiny butts not been in Vogue? If you literally open up an issue of Vogue magazine, are you going to see a lot of models with big ole butts? Are you for serious? If big butts were really all the rave outside of a small sub-culture, how on earth would MIla Kunis, with a complete and utter lack of a gluteal muscles (I mean really, how does she sit) be deemed the sexiest woman of 2012 by anyone?

    Skinny is still in vogue. White standards of beauty still dominate. Any standard of beauty that is divorced from the reality of actual women that marginalizes groups of women that don’t fit the standard is inherently dangerous. The “epidemic” of women trying to go to unhealthy lengths to increase the size of their butt utterly pales in comparison to the number of women starving themselves to attain a Barbie doll standard that is completely divorced from the reality of actual humans. And you would see this small counter-European norm as the danger as opposed to the real epidemics of bulimia and anorexia?

    While it’s possible that this backlash against love of curves is a manifestation of anti-objectification and disdain for beauty standards in a general sense, I’m thinking maybe this is really people brainwashed by Euro-centric standards that are rejecting formerly marginalized standards as crass while embracing their own standards as some sort of pristine more worthy beauty. Maybe this is not everyone, but when I hear comments that seem to long for a standard of beauty that embraces small butts, I have to wonder.

    I’ll stick to my big butt standard and continue to reject the dominant beauty standards coming from the fashion and beauty industry, which is not dominated by men. At least my standard of beauty is not outside of the norm for a great many women that need to make no changes in order to be my vision of physical perfection. Oh, and my standard of beauty has biological drivers. Low waist to hip ratio is an indicator of fertility and has long been a naturally occurring beauty norm for our species, until it was interrupted by these unnatural Euro-centric, super-skinny ideals.

    “I like big butts and I cannot lie”

    –unknown philosopher-poet/knight

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    I truly hate that you have been harassed when your physical perfection should have received benign admiration and non-sexualized appreciation. May tales of wars fought over your beauty be penned complete with wooden horses and invincible warriors.

    Ms. Information of [insert city of residence here].

  • ChillyRoad

    Clutch is crazy. So Orwellian. Bascially putting unpopular ideas and thoughts into a virtual Gulag. I swear Joseph Stalin’s ghost must work for Clutch.

  • hmmmmm

    Was there not an article on Clutch last week singing praises over men being built in a way that is only obtainable through genetics? And isn’t a little booty still the standard according to, you know, the standard makers? Come on now.

    I like thick women with curves like apple and (goodness) ms information. It’s what I grew up seeing in my ‘hood and on BET. You know women who look healthier (to me and plenty of black men) than the “standard.”

  • Anthony

    Thanks for the kind words! I was a little leery about the story in my post, but I thought it was appropriate because we have to love our own bodies and not obsess over the approval of others. It’s a cliche, but confidence is attractive!

  • Ravi

    like slapping God in the face for giving you a beautiful gift

  • Eric

    @ChillyRoad

    I am just letting you know, I appreciate you being here to be the voice of reason. Give it some time & women will eventually start thinking like us.

    Enjoy

  • Pseudonym

    SMH, SERIOUSLY!

    Why are you so bitter in EVERYTHING you post? You should probably look into counseling for your anger issues. Attacking strangers on the Internet CANNOT be bringing you fulfillment in the long run.

  • Pseudonym

    I agree. HOWEVER, many of the men holding women to this physical ideal do not meet the standards of what women consider attractive and many don’t even TRY to meet the standards of what women consider attractive. I swear, as men have gotten lazier in the dating game, they’ve also become sloppier and a lot less attractive.

    I just want everyone to meet the standards they demand, be if physical, financial, emotional, spiritual, etc.

  • Ms. Information

    Thank you Ravi and SMH…that is greatly appreciated. ;)

  • Oh Whatever

    You two are very silly. Trying to fish for compliments I see. “Oh, I hate my big butt, blah blah blah”. Yet all the while posting your measurements for everyone to see and envision you. It’s like my friend last week who was complaining because her long “wavy” hair didn’t allow her to wear the styles she wanted because of it’s texture, even though she knows good and well she wouldn’t trade it in for a kinkier texture. Stop trying to toot your own bell. You two have received the responses from men (Ravi and SMH) that you’ve been craving. You can stop now.

  • Oh Whatever

    Women (especially black women) need to stop putting so much unnecessary focus on their rear ends. If big butts were that it’s cracked up to be, then the majority of black women would be MARRIED and not SINGLE or bed warmers (long term “girlfriends”). Most of these dudes claiming that they love big butts and all other nonsense are only thinking about sex and are not necessarily trying to wife you up. Asian women have the smallest (and flattest) rear ends then any group of women, yet they account for the most marriages and least divorces than all other groups of women. That alone should tell you something. Don’t get so caught up on a part of your body where $h!t comes out of, and focus on working and changing realistic and meaningful qualities about yourself. Your big behind will not have a man putting a ring on it. Trust me, it won’t!

  • ?!?

    @Perspective – No one is trying to force you to find women with pancakes butts or donks or black women attractive. I didn’t see that anywhere in the article or Courtney’s response. And this is what I mean about the same lame gender war crap. You took no time to get into the common “I hate black women” talking points.

    -Black women are fat.
    -Black women have attitudes
    -Black women pick on men who date interracially
    -Black women are crazy
    -weaves, matriarchy, baby momma, hoodrat, thug-lovin, turning down nice guys, weaves, matriarchy, fat, attitude, and weaves and crazy

    And you seem to think black women talk about their insecurities all the time whereas other women do not. As this article mentioned, many women desire for men to find them desirable. For these types of women, their self esteem is wrapped up in what men think about them and their appearance.Insecurities amongst women are common. I’m pretty sure for every black woman complaining about the fat butt fetish, there is probably a white woman complaining about having small boobs (white men seem to like big boobs) or being too hippy (white men seem to like thin women) or getting a nose job. It’s actually annoying that men like you think black women are the only women hung up on their appearance whereas other women accept themselves just the way they are. It’s another common talking point amongst men like you that black women are sooooo insecure whereas other women are perfect with the way they are. You are on a site for black women. Of course it will seem like BW are whining about their image. If you go over to some white female website, you will probably see them asking “Do men like big boobs?” “Should I get a nose job?” “Do men prefer blondes?”

    I don’t know what the problem is. Many women’s self worth is wrapped up in male validation and their appearance. Not getting validation or being considered pretty hurts self esteem. I don’t know how that’s any different from the men in the PUA community or somewhere talking about how they get rejected by women and how it hurts self esteem. This article wasn’t meant to solve world hunger or launch a million woman march to set up a matriarchy where women decide who is attractive and make men accept it. Oh yea. Matriarchy is another one of your common talking points.This is what I mean about you guys. Who the heck was even talking about matriarchy? That’s a common talking point amongst you all though that black women are overbearing matriarchs.

    Did anyone even mention redefining the standard of beauty? If you decide you have a preference for big butts, light skin, straight hair, whatever. You all say we are trying to force you into finding us attractive. I disagree. The only time I hear people talking about being forced to find BW attractive is when they start tossing out preferences that BW do not usually have like white skin or straight hair. I don’t really hear BW telling men to stop chasing after girls with big butts. I don’t know that many ugly women who tell men that they should choose the nice but ugly girls instead of the dymes. I don’t know that many fat women that think they’re going to pull a Tyson Beckford. Women know what men find attractive. I don’t think anyone on this comment section or the article said BM need to start looking at skinny girls with pancake butts. No one said that BM need to start dating fat women because they have character. Fat women and skinny girls know they are SOL with the big butt lovers.

    It’s funny because women who fall outside of the standard of beauty are usually told to take a seat. These women are never allowed to voice their concerns, but let an unattractive or short man have a sob story, people like you will jump all over it. Men complain about being short and not accepted. They complain about being unattractive and getting rejected. They complain about being broke and getting rejected. Are these men trying to redefine what being an attractive man is by voicing their feelings? Are they trying to force us into marrying all the short, broke, and ugly dudes?

    Like I said, this article wasn’t even about all that. You just decided to dump your BW are fat, weave-wearing, attitudinal, overbearing matriarchs comment of the day on an article that wasn’t even about that. This article was basically saying that women doing stupid stuff to get the body that men want because their self-esteem is tied into being attractive to men sucks. It did not say women shouldn’t have to do anything reasonable such as exercise to get bodies that men desire because men should desire women just the way they are even if they are weave-wearers, matriarchs, baby mommas, hoodrats, thug-lovers, turning down nice guyers, weave buyer/sellers, matriarchy girl power run the world girls Beyonce feminists, fatsos, neck rollers, weave patters, or crazies.

    I hope you find a woman with a magical donk who will keep you so busy that you won’t type the same gender war stuff on every article that talks about men.

  • http://gravatar.com/daywalker225xxxx daywalker225xxxx

    All I gotta say is that FAT women are off my list!!! If you are overweight, I ain’t checkin for you…..

  • http://gravatar.com/pocketsizednegro Courtney**

    ?!? – thank you so much. I started typing a response to this foolishness and realized after the third word that I just didn’t have the patience to spell out again what I wrote in plain English the first time. Clearly while Perspective could actually bother to read what we’re writing, he prefers to mansplain and bring up his same tired grudges over and over again regardless of what the topic is. He’s not on this site to learn nor engage in a dialogue, he’s on the site to express his hatred for black women and talk about how bad we are – just one half-step above a troll, really. If a half-step.

  • Ms. Information

    lol…a hater I see, but it’s cool…I guess if I mentioned that I also had an eating disorder because of it that would have made you feel better…I don’t have to crave responses from men, I get it in the street..and it gets OLD….this big butt thing really just came to fruition getting harassed at 14 for it not the business. Thanks.

  • http://tontonmichel.tumblr.com Tonton Michel

    Cant argue with that.

  • Anthony

    My wife often says black men are forever talking about butts, but they are always trying to get with some flat booty, non-black woman!

    That said, my honey hooked me with her hiney and that fried chicken didn’t hurt either!

  • Anthony

    I would also note that loving big butts does not equal loving black women. If you check out men’s magazines like Smooth, King, or For Black Men Only, they are full of white and Latina women with big butts. As I have said before, the love of Kim Kardashian stems from the fact that she is a white women who has a black woman’s rear.

  • lunanoire

    The measurements are to show the difference between the waist and hip measurements.

    Did anyone else notice that none of these women are wearing skirts, shorts, dresses, or pants covering their backside? This figure is one of many that is difficult to fit without tailoring.

    Not all women with large butts are praised for it–for example, BW who grew up in communities with low Black and Latin@ populations commonly face insults and being called “fat” as an insult because a round behind has negative connotations for some.

  • http://twitter.com/NoPermHere Dee (@NoPermHere)

    Some jean brands to try: Pzi Jeans, Cj by Cookie Johnson, Paige Premium Denim, AG Jeans, James Jeans, DKNY, NYDJ, and Levi’s Curve ID all fit the curvy figure well without all that gap in the back

  • apple

    don’t get mad because you aint go no ass. i’m telling you my measurements to give you an example of its size in comparison to my size. why i gotta fish for compliments? i can go outside if i want that. not being finding clothes that fit , or a or being PHYSICALLY/VERBALLY EXUALLY HARASSED isn’t something to feel great about. ..you can miss me with all that!

  • slice

    @apple

    Don’t hate your butt—believe me, a lot of non-black celebrity women get all these implants to get what you have. Most importantly, appreciate your body for what it is—you don’t look like a “slut” just because of your butt—that’s just some stupid stereotype some men have about women who look a certain way,with a certain type of figure. If a guy harasses you, just snap his wrist off—ust kidding, but yeah, let those ***holes know that your body is NOT public property that they can feel up whenever they feel like it.

  • slice

    @TheTruth

    What you’re saying is BS, because it’s always been MEN who have determined what standard of beauty women are supposed to contort themselves to fit into (and some women have usually colluded with that in order to benefit themselves ) whether it’s bound feet, wire hoops in dresses,Botox,plastic surgery. There’s no feminist conspiracy behind it, it’s just a fact of life. Nothing ridiculous about it–it’s just that you don’t see the larger picture in this sense.

    Also NOBODY is saying men can’t be attracted to anything,or have preferences—it’s just that what is considered beautiful in women has ALWAYS been determined by what MEN like. It’s why some sisters get dismissed because they’re told their breasts and butt aren’t big enough. Women have been told that if they don’t fit whatever current definition of beauty is the most popular, that they’re not REAL women, or something’s wrong with them for not fitting that standard.

    Of course men don’t have to worry about this because it dosen’t affect them, but this is a subject that has ALWAYS affected women across the board, no matter what you think,

  • slice

    @Oh Whatever

    Thank you! I’ve often wondered in the past why men are so hung up on a part of the body that is basically nothing but a waste disposal unit,when you really think about it. Let’s get real—if it wasn’t for men saying that they love big butts,we wouldn’t even be giving a damn about how they look (I admit, I’ve done it with my own posterier, checking to make sure it hasn’t shrunk and worrying when it did, even as I lost some weight.) I got caught up in that too.

    But you’re right—-a body part does not a relationship make,for real. “Don’t get so caught up on a part of your body where $h!t comes out of, and focus on working and changing realistic and meaningful qualities about yourself.” Truer words were never spoken!

  • slice

    @daywalker225xxxx

    I ain’t checking for fat men, either. If you’re so big that you can’t get up the stairs without huffing and puffing, or look down without seeing anything looking like your toes,you need to lose the weight–period.

  • Pink Lipstick

    I must say that I am tired of both black males and females reducing the black female experience to the “fat ass.” Black women do not have a monopoly on fat asses. We come in all different shapes and sizes.

  • Sunshine

    I LIVE for Joe’s Jeans. Also, Lucky Brand has some good styles for curvy bottom gals.

  • Ravi

    dang, no need to hate. plenty of compliments to go around. I’m sure you have your strong suits. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, and all that. It’s a shame we have to bring each other down like that. Can’t we all just get along.

  • D-Ski

    Greetings Family,

    Whew what a topic. So here is my opinion on this controversial topic. First of all black people (us) we need to really stop with this internal fighting and start to be honest with each other. WE DO NOT CONTROL THE WAY WE ARE VIEWED. We never have so with that being said. Black men never accepted body wise the beauty standard of the European. Let me be clear hair, skin color, and even eye color did take hold mentally in our communities across the globe, but the body standard held up and we refused to fall for the Anoxeric standard put forth in Mags and TV. Sistas knew back in tha day that even if I was not the lightest or even prettiest if I had this body (booty) I could still attract the men on my community. Now fast forward to the present last 10 years. Hip hop and its fascination with the backside and all the videos that celebrated this part of women gave the powers that be a way to exploit the very last thing thing that is not accepted in mainstream culture. A Big Ole Butt on beautiful black women. So this phenomenon became a sub culture of our community. Now when u view facebook pages and instagram pages alike the first thing u see is women’s backside. Magazines like King, Black Men, and others urban modeling publications joined in. Please think about what i am saying. I love u sistas and I realize how this appears to be the black man exploiting u for something we alwayz treasured since the very beginning, but we cannot discourse effectively without idenitifying who benefits from this Age of the Fat Ass. Peace

  • http://gravatar.com/janschild Britt

    Me, too. People made comments daily. It would have been nice to have someone encourage me.

  • anon

    I’ve got an ass that is huge! Growing up, I never heard one good thing about it. What’s funny is that I was a shy teen but my ass spoke for me. I wished back then it was smaller but I never really hated myself for having it (buying jeans, a complete other story!). You know what? I’m glad asses are back in style. Now I don’t have to be so self conscious about it because MEN are allowed to compliment me. Before, even when they loved it, they said nothing. We have to love each other, instead of tearing each other down. Seriously, let’s tell everyone they’re beautiful. What do we have to lose?

  • Ravi

    :) yay

  • Old TImer

    Actually listening to the male POV. AIn’t nobody got time fo dat!
    Thumbs down thumbs down thumbs down thumbs down thumbs down thumbs down thumbs down thumbs down thumbs down.

  • Gimme_it_small

    Blame hip hop. Before then, FAT asses were not aspired to. Re: that Armenian bitch with the TV show and the feminine looking stepfather: she is not a skinny woman with a large ass… she is a fat woman PERIOD.

  • Gimme_it_small

    Waaaa.. I need vindication and encouragement in my life. Kill yourself already.

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