I find it interesting when the minute a woman complains about past or current relationships in a manner that another person doesn’t deem positive, they’re automatically labeled “bitter”.  It’s actually similar to someone who expresses their dislike of an entertainer and they’re automatically called a “hater”.  Not every woman has the same experiences with relationships, and if every relationship was a positive one, there would be no need for these so-called relationship experts.

In a recent women’s group I participate in, two women got into a heated discussion about misogyny and relationships. Eventually one woman called another woman bitter. The Women’s Study professor that was leading the group, immediately addressed the name calling. She first stated that she was  shocked that an  adult would resort to name calling. Once she finished that rant,  she basically told her to refer to another woman as being bitter because of her past relationship challenges, was looming close to being misogynistic. The room came to a complete silence.  I’ve always said some women can be more misogynistic than men, at least I wasn’t the only one to think that.

Although, I didn’t necessarily agree on the point of misogyny in this instance, I understood what the professor was trying to say. No one’s life experiences are ever going to be the same. Not only does this include women, but men as well. To point the finger at someone and say they’re bitter, not only devalues a person’s experiences, but it makes the finger pointer look a little childish. Everyone has a story to tell, especially when it comes to relationships. Just because that story may not be paved with gold, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re bitter.

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  • It’s only “bitterness” if it’s constant complaining without working towards resolving the issue OR blaming current situations due to the past, holding on to the past. Gotta know the difference.

    But I wouldn’t call them bitter….they just won’t hear from me for awhile, LOL

  • African Mami

    Calling another woman, or person “bitter” is NOT name calling, let’s get it together ma pippoz! That’s just RIDONC!

    • Ms. Information

      Thank you!!! Letting someone know that their behavior is unacceptable is not name calling…no one wants to be around a bitter person…it is draining…if one of my friends is bitter, I am going to let her know so that she can recognize the behavior and try to change accordingly…I would expect and have received the same from my friends….the bitterness that exudes from people is unacceptable at some point.

    • African Mami

      Hey girl!!

      Our pippoz are dramatic. Damn!

    • Oh Please

      Bitterness is subjective though. Some people are called this by others who have wronged them and the offendoing party just does not want to face up to what they did.

    • Sweetles

      Thank you AM, for speaking the truth.

  • Smilez_920

    I thought the teacher over reacted too because some ppl are bitter . Just like some ppl are happy, sad , mad etc …

  • Wepo1

    Really, See black women want to be untouchable when it comes to criticism and it is troubling to know that not only do black women refuse to listen to constructive criticism and are uncompromising because they think compromising is a female trait, but to try and always want to be immune to a problem that needs to be addressed is ridiculous!

    If you are bitter then, yes, you have a bad attitude and if you are overweight then you need to exercise!

    Soon, it will be offensive to call black women, “women”!

  • Dawn Elise

    Black women call any black man who complains about anything concerning women bitter, without any consideration of the merit of the complaint