Do you prefer to wear the pants in your relationship?
Are you the one who takes out the garbage?
Do you make all the decisions about your family?
Do you like it that way?
Men and women definitely come to the relationship table with ideas about the role that each should play. Whether from their own family example, television and pop culture or some other influence, we grow up with clear ideas of what men do and what women are supposed do.
If you grew up in a home where your parents worked together to run the house and make the rules (honestly, I find this kind of rare today), it’s likely that you would expect that in your own relationships. On the other hand, if a man is raised solely by his mother and/or grandmother (which is quite common) there’s a chance that he was treated as the little king of the castle and “spoiled” of independence. His meals were always cooked, clothes always washed and as he got older, he answered to no one about his whereabouts, even though he was only 15-years-old and coming in the house at 11 p.m. (trust me, I’ve seen this in my own family, first hand, and I still catch myself imagining how different their lives would be if they weren’t waited on hand and foot).
Are we creating men who will (help) run the world, or dependent and lost souls?
So fast forward a few years and he’s got you jumping at his every whim. Now catering to your man is not really the issue here. Everyone deserves to be pampered and “babied” so to speak, especially during a stressful time or after a hard day at work. That’s all good. But it becomes an issue when there’s no return of a kind gesture in site. In other words, you’re doing everything and he’s doing nothing.
I know, you’re saying put on the breaks, what about women who actually prefer to baby their man in a relationship? I say more power to ya. We’ll address that topic in another article, but this time, we’re talking about being in a union where he isn’t necessarily stepping up to the plate. As independent as you want to be, there are certainly many times when you want your man to be THE MAN.
If you like the roles, you can just keep doing what you’re doing. If not, I have to be honest, and say you’ve got some work to do. Start by communicating to see where your man stands. Any person who is accustomed to slippers at the door when he comes home and his steak being cut in perfect little pieces is going to resist change. His first reaction is the truest, so if he winces when you bring up the idea of him taking more responsibility for himself and his part in your lives as a couple or family, then take a deep breath and start thinking about what really makes you happy.