Last night, I had a good laugh while watching “Real Housewives of Atlanta.” Kenya Moore, one of the newer castmates on the Bravo show, prepared for a dinner date with her beau, Walter. Kenya has been very vocal on the show about wanting to get married and in pursuit of a proposal, she purchased a pre-cooked dinner from Whole Foods and pretended as if she cooked it herself. The former Miss USA even went so far as to spoon some of the pasta dish into a pan to give the impression that she spent all evening slaving over a hot stove. All in the name of being claimed.
Kenya is on a mission to get Walter to put a ring on it by any means necessary, and the first step on her task list is to offer him a homecooked meal with the promise that “every night will be like this.” You may chuckle too at Kenya’s expense, but she’s not the first or the last woman to think she can work her way into a lasting marriage.
There are women who look at dating before marriage like they’re applying for a job. They do everything in their power to appear perfect during the trial period (dating) to get hired (engaged). They cook, clean, stay in shape and answer to their mate’s every command in the bedroom in an attempt to lock him down. Instead of focusing on building a relationship with substance, they fixate on hitting every mark on their man’s checklist for what makes a good wife.
The obvious problem here is that the man is falling in love with a facade. In trying to be perfect, the Kenya’s of the world are failing to be honest about who they really are. But there’s also the reality that you can’t force a man to commit if he’s not ready or interested. All the cooking and cleaning in the world won’t change that.