Last night, I had a good laugh while watching “Real Housewives of Atlanta.” Kenya Moore, one of the newer castmates on the Bravo show, prepared for a dinner date with her beau, Walter. Kenya has been very vocal on the show about wanting to get married and in pursuit of a proposal, she purchased a pre-cooked dinner from Whole Foods and pretended as if she cooked it herself. The former Miss USA even went so far as to spoon some of the pasta dish into a pan to give the impression that she spent all evening slaving over a hot stove. All in the name of being claimed.

Kenya is on a mission to get Walter to put a ring on it by any means necessary, and the first step on her task list is to offer him a homecooked meal with the promise that “every night will be like this.” You may chuckle too at Kenya’s expense, but she’s not the first or the last woman to think she can work her way into a lasting marriage.

There are women who look at dating before marriage like they’re applying for a job. They do everything in their power to appear perfect during the trial period (dating) to get hired (engaged). They cook, clean, stay in shape and answer to their mate’s every command in the bedroom in an attempt to lock him down. Instead of focusing on building a relationship with substance, they fixate on hitting every mark on their man’s checklist for what makes a good wife.

The obvious problem here is that the man is falling in love with a facade. In trying to be perfect, the Kenya’s of the world are failing to be honest about who they really are. But there’s also the reality that you can’t force a man to commit if he’s not ready or interested. All the cooking and cleaning in the world won’t change that.

What are your thoughts, Clutchettes? Is it possible to “earn a ring”? Tell us!

  • http://tontonmichel.tumblr.com/ Tonton Michel

    knowing how to cook is life skill, at her age if she is doing tricks like this she will never change. such pretty woman to be so silly….

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    LOL that sounds way to extra! I’ am sure the guy wouldn’t mind if she told him “hey, I was busy today do you mind takeout?” She is doing the most but I observe that women who do anything to get the ring aren’t really ready for the mindset of “marriage”; they like the idea of marriage and being somebody’s wife but not really prepare for all it entails. Usually (not all) women like that are unhappy once they get married or on a fast track to divorced after the “I do”.

  • EST. 1986

    The only thing I feel about this is annoyance, but I can’t put the why into words.

  • Native Gear

    It’s too late for her to start doing all of this. She had her time, and that time has gone LOL. She’s gonna have to do more than learn how to “cook” (or whatever it is that she was doing). There are younger women out here who behave better than she does and know how to prepare a meal (the right way). She’s gonna have to try harder LOLLL!!!

  • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

    What the hail happened to Kenya? In the past she always seemed like she was a bright, beautiful and successful woman. Now she seems like a total idiot. So sad.

  • AM

    ummm, can somebody confirm for me. Are those her boobies?!? Oooolala!!

  • AM

    Me know no about earning a ring….I guess she can, with fake cooking and boobies galore.

  • EST. 1986

    Post my comment.

  • AM

    *waving*!!

    She is just trying to be extra for the ratings and sponsorships. (Victoria Secrets) Look at Nene, she is now a certified actress, NOT a reality star.

  • The Artist

    This woman reeks of desperation…. As someone once said, “Always make sure he is in love with you, than you are of him”.

    I say…make him do the work to get the marriage proposal.

  • The Artist

    *more* than you are of him.

  • justanotheropinion

    In a word: “sad”. If this is what it’s come to, I’d rather walk away. It reeks of desperation.

  • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

    *waving back*

    Hiya, AM.

    I guess you might be right. It’s a shame though.

  • Kay

    People are in love with the IDEA of love and marriage and not really the real thing. Being married is less about walking down the aisle and more about the everyday things that make up married life. I’ve run into people who say, “Girl, you married?! How’d you get him to do that?!” Much of it is simply understanding that you are a person of worth and also having a life outside of just being someone’s woman. Be a wonderful, interesting person who has it together (but isn’t arrogant about it) and does not define themselves by having or not having a man. If you are a woman like that, most men will be like “Man, I better get that before someone else does.” Being desperate is the surest way to push a man from putting that ring on your finger. And even if he does, you may find yourself trapped in a marriage you can’t stand.

  • Chillyroad

    Whoever said that is stupid.

  • Starla

    You know I am not going to knock her. Everybody has a dream and for some it’s being Mrs. If she deeply desires to be a wife there is nothing wrong with that, there is no shame in wanting marriage.

  • Beautiful Mic

    She’s working hard to deceive him, setting him up for a major disappointment if he ends up marrying her or, God forbid, gets her pregnant.

    I can’t believe she did that. What a fake!

  • Treece

    I don’t watch the show, but the author’s last paragraph said it all: all the work you do to try and get a man to marry you will be for absolutely nothing if he isn’t really ready! Just be yourself and if/when he’s ready (or frankly, if YOU feel like waiting for him to be ready) your proposal will come. I’m not the type or kind of woman that wants to “earn” my spot in a man’s life as if I’m competing in the olympic trials….as Mary J said, take me as I am or have nothing at all. I can only be me.

  • vm

    Kenya is just awful. She has a horrible attitude in general, often rude with a chip on her shoulder. Last week she was upset that her boyfriend had dated Kandy. She was nastyto the girls at Cynthia’s modelling agency and at the young lady’s benefit. She is so superficial. Now she is forcing this guy to marry her.

  • Love Sosa

    She’s a bitch. Everything about her on the show has been nothing short of a bitch, Pure bitch. I despise her worse than the others.

    It sucks that she’s adding to that false media scope of how “black women are” each week on television.

    No amount of beauty would make me put up with her attitude and behavior.

  • ANGELA

    Ditto!

  • Sean

    Wow… I’m glad I’m not the only person who thought that Kenya was really doing ‘THE MOST’ on last week’s episode. And while she’s campaigning to get a ring, she NEEDS to be campaigning to the PROACTIVE COUNTER to get that skin tightened up. How you STAY FLEXING about how you used to be Ms USA and your face looks like that? C’mon SON! She should know better than to be walking around like that.

  • The-motive

    I agree there is no shame in wanting marriage but there should be shame for the way she is going about. She is lying to get her ring, which means if this mans falls for her act, Divorce is what is going to happen. When he sees her for who she truly is, What man wants to be in a marriage with a woman who is being deceiving as she is. The man is coming out of divorce not long ago as he has said many times before. But she is not listening at all. She wants to marry him, but he never said he wants to marry HER or that he is in love with HER!! I Don’t understand why woman do this, or in some cases men as well, have to manipulate to get what they want, marriage is hard work and commitment and the man is telling her to cool down and take it slow they have only been dating for 6 months. She needs to listen or she will end up with a rude awaking.

  • Billy Paul

    The man should be alright, if he drafts a proper prenuptial agreement. If she isn’t willing to sign it, then he may want to explore a divestment strategy.

  • Billy Paul

    “I’m not the type or kind of woman that wants to ‘earn’ my spot in a man’s life[.]”

    Define “earn”, is it the Webster’s dictionary version? Let’s assume that is, shall we? As such, the term means “[t]o acquire or deserve as a result of effort or action[.]”

    A proper woman will make a man work his way into her heart, i.e. “earn” his spot in her life. The is a valuable position that should not be administered to the average man. Arguably, said man should convince the woman that he is a right fit.

    Simply put, both sexes have to “earn” their spot.

    However, I do find the former Miss America’s actions somewhat odious.

    Carry on, family.

  • Billy Paul

    Preach, my brother!

  • Billy Paul

    Interesting comment; however, may I add that your assessment is arguably reflective of delusions of grandeur. ALL (read 99.9999%) women have to compete mates.

    Be not mislead, neither youth, finances, nor physical features are, by themselves, sufficient for one to secure a mate. One must bring additional accoutrements to the bargaining table.

    Carry on, family.

  • Billy Paul

    I concur.

    The current state of affairs as per demographics show that there is an excess of women. Don’t take Billy’s word for it, go do some research for yourself. As such, no learned man in his proper mind would work for that which is in excess supply.

    We all took business/math/stats and the law of supply and demand states that (and Billy is paraphrasing here) the price of an item increases as its scarcity increases.

    Unfortunately, most of my esteemed brethren may not have received the memo as of yet.

    For example, take NYC. It’s a land where there are more educated, successful, and attractive women than there are men of similar qualities. It’s a buyer’s market, ladies.

  • Velma

    Sadly she needs to be in therapy with someone other than a family member. I agree she is fooling herself, and no he is not in love with her. But I suspect that this is what she has been doing for years.

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