It’s hard to believe it but in 2012, there is still a lot of backlash around interracial dating. Eve is no stranger to this kind of negative attention. She received a firestorm of criticism when the public became aware of her relationship with race car driver, Maximillion Cooper. Eve has heard it all from claims that she has turned her back on black men to the theory that she’s “sold out” since her stripper and Ruff Ryders days.

Eve addressed it all in an interview with Hot 97′s Angie Martinez via Necole Bitchie:

On People Having an Issue With Her Dating a White Guy:

I need them to stop [caring about interracial dating]. What year is it? Like, stop. Seriously. Trust me, I gotta say, it is weird for me that I’m with a white dude. Trust me. I look at him sometimes and I’m like, ‘You are so white.’ Seriously! Yes, I gotta be real like that. I’m the first black girl he’s ever been with, so we are learning. Trust me, he’s been through ‘Weave 101.’ I’ve been out on a date but not like this, not like my dude. I had to tell my mom and my step-dad who still thinks he follows Farrakhan. It’s crazy. We learn a lot about each other but people came at me like, ‘I can’t believe you’re dating a white dude and you don’t like black dudes no more.’ I’m like, ‘I love black men, it just so happens that my heart went this way right now.’ Who knows? I’m happy…My family’s happy. [My pops] is cool. He still keeps calling him ‘my friend.’ [He says], ‘How’s your friend?’ Like, it’s been almost three years.

People came at me. Now it’s better, like when I started sending pictures or people started seeing pictures on Twitter, people really came at me hard, but now it’s fine. Like I said, I do look at him like, I can’t believe I’m with a white dude. I don’t let him dance. I tell him, ‘Look like a pimp, I will dance around you.’ He can do a lot of things, but he can’t dance.

On Whether or Not Her Boyfriend Knows About Her Ruff Ryder Days:

Yes, and he still can’t understand it. He thinks it’s all cute which also annoys me sometimes, like, ‘Look how cute you are.’ No, I was hard. He’s real proud though. I’ve never been with somebody so supportive in my life so it’s good. It’s a blessing.”

She also spoke on Stevie J and “Love & Hip Hop,” saying: “I have not seen ["Love & Hip Hop"], I’ve never watched it. I can not allow myself but trust me, people give me updates. I was young and dumb. The first person that said something to me was my mother, she text me and said, ‘You dodged a bullet with that one’ and we’ve never talked about it again.”

To say Eve dodged a bullet with Stevie J is an understatement.

It’s great that she and her new boyfriend, Cooper, respect and understand each other’s cultural differences — and have found peace in their relationship. If Eve is in a supportive and positive situation, I’m happy for it even if it happens to be with a white man.

What are your thoughts on the criticism of Eve’s relationship and her response to it, Clutchettes?

  • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

    I really can’t believe anyone gives a hoot who Eve is dating. I don’t. No one is checking for her. Well unless another Barbershop movie is coming out. Lol.

    Anyway, I’m going to sit back and sip some peppermint tea and wait for the crazy comments that are sure to come. Lol

  • cb

    this article is funny,lol

  • Relle

    If she’s happy and he treats her like a queen, that’s all that is important. No matter what his race is. I’m happy for her!

  • Teelicious

    GOOD FOR HER! Love seeing Eve so happy in a loving supportive relationship.

  • Treece

    That’s awesome that she is happy. That’s all that matters at the end of the day. When you date outside of your race, there is that phase where you have to learn about each other’s culture and get used to certain things. Some couples make it through that stage, some don’t.

    I agree, ppl do need to get over the whole interracial dating issue. As long as you aren’t throwing people of your own race under the bus in the process (i.e. saying things like “all black men are liars” or “all black women are bossy”) then its all good. Eve said she still has love for black men, she’s just not with one right now. She might surprise us all and marry this dude…

  • Sasha

    All I have to say is this: it’s 2012, people are as ignorant as they were back in 1812. I’m sure I can find some people who still believe the sun revolves around the earth. Sorry Galileo :o(

    *grabs twizzlers and lemonade in anxious anticipation of the ensuing comments*

  • Sasha

    YES!!!!

  • hmmmmm

    “I really can’t believe anyone gives a hoot who Eve is dating. ”

    Once again, Val brings sense to it all. And folks, in general, need to stop acting like most people are really checking for their interracial romance in 2012. I know it can feel good when it feels like us against the world, but for real, do you and stop looking for “haters”.

  • apple

    my body ready for this comment section

  • Treece

    It’s awesome that she’s happy and doing well. I agree, people do need to get over the whole interracial dating thing. It’s happening regardless of how many protest it. She’s not bad mouthing black men, she’s just in love with a white one. That is important: don’t date outside your race b/c you are bitter towards men (or women) of your own race. Just go with the flow and love who you love

  • SS25

    Black men(famous and non-famous) date outside their race all the time and receive praise for doing it, but when a black women do it all of sudden its a crime?!!

  • hmmmmm

    Receive praise for it? Where? Can you point me to the publication or public space where the praise has been levied?

    I’m sorry but you have to understand. It’s 2012: Blanket statements tossed around about black folks I have a tough time with, because the intent is often malicious and from a place of hate and or disappointment.

    Can you provide support for your statement?

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    Okay, as long as she is happy though her dating Cooper is old news. *grabbing some of Val’s peppermint tea too…lol*

  • blackphilo

    No, Black men usually do not “date outside.” They certainly don’t “receive praise” from any group when they do. Nor have Black men generally made a public issue out of Black women dating outside.

    For some reason, though, a certain segment of the Black community insists on believing otherwise.

  • Chillyroad

    It’s annoying people always looking for attention because of their inter racial partner. And no one is checking for Eve.

  • Starla

    I can believe it. She may not be putting out current music or films, but she still has a fan base, it may be slim, but it is there. I am sure her fans would care about the going ons of her life.

    They actually make a cute couple, and it’s great she nabbed herself an educated man.

  • hmmmmm

    Not going to answer my fair question, huh?

  • dirtychai

    #whiteboo

  • Pseudonym

    “…she’s ‘sold out’ since her stripper and Ruff Ryders days.”

    Well, I would hope that with the success and exposure that she has been fortunate to have, she isn’t doing the same things she was in her “stripper and Ruff Ryders days.” If she was doing the same things all these years later, that’d be a life failure.

    Do your thing, Eve.

  • Rachelle

    Chile…you know they’re coming lol. Oh, I love peppermint tea btw :)

  • Uncle Tom

    This current black dating interracial phobia/hate comes from a few black leaders. The only problem with their ideology is that some of these leaders including Farrakhan & Jessie have half white grandkids.

    Seems as though some of these leaders sons aren’t into the fake “Kings and Queens” dating exclusivity hype that many of their followers have bought into.

  • SS25

    Let’s see I hear it from black men, see it on many BLACK sites, what else do you need?

  • Treece

    Ss25, I kinda understand what you’re saying. Black men receive a lot of praise from other black men about dating outside of the race. I know from experience that Black men (at least in my city) kind of gave me a hard time for dating a white guy and a Mexican guy the couple of times I did date outside of my race, so I would have to agree with you there. Add to that the experiences where my black friends who have dated outside of thier race got some unwarranted commentary from black men when they went out….yeah, I feel you SS25

  • blackphilo

    Most Black Americans are “mixed.” There’s nothing very new here–apart from how this mixing now, on occasion, comes about.

  • Chillyroad

    Then perhaps you should have qualified your statements by saying that black men praise other black men who date inter-racially. Saying they receive praise like it is coming from every sector if society is dishonest.

  • Coyia

    I hate when people generalize a whole race based on one exxperience. To say a certain race takes care of home and another doesn’t is absurd. I’m proud to say that my fiancé and I are both young and black and he takes great care of home without any hesitation. Anyhoo, on the topic, do your thing Eve. I love to see anyone happy and in love!!!

  • The Bishop

    This is a very ignorant comment, white men historically have been more sexist, racist, and misogynist toward all women (including white women) then any other sub-group in the history of mankind. I’m not saying there isn’t bad apple’s in every bunch, but to come on here and state something so blatantly felonious is irresponsible and without any merit.

  • Pseudonym

    Your both wrong. You gotta take men- no matter the race- on a case-by-case basis. Some are great, some are ok, some are horrible.

  • SS25

    Thank You!!

  • SS25

    No issues just the TRUTH!!

  • Chillyroad

    Treece do you think that in some black men’s experiences they have received criticism from other than black men? Kinda disingenuous to talk about getting grief from black men but ignoring the possible grief black men have gotten. Black women and the larger society don’t exactly hi five black men in IR.

    I know victim hood feels good though.

  • Shebadbad

    You must be no one since you are here ‘checking’ on E-v-e.

  • EST. 1986

    Her own response doesn’t exactly help.

  • EST. 1986

    If only you were right.

  • http://gravatar.com/jamesfrmphilly jamesfrmphilly

    i ma sad to see black people so ignorant of their own history…..

  • Chillyroad

    Yes. Eve has never known love and support until this guy came along. Sarcasm.

  • Kay

    Men are men. If you spent your life sociologically analyzing every relationship you’d get into, you’d be lonely and miserable. Not every Black man is dishonest and angry. Not every White man is out to fulfill a fetish. Some men actually want committed relationships, replete with reciprocity and respect. I agree with Pseudonym. You’ve got to take each man on a case-by-case basis. That’s a philosophy most people should extend into their daily lives as well. If they did, there’d be little room for discrimination.

  • Kay

    Ugh. Really?! I do not feel up to unpacking this recipe, which is completely loaded with assumptions intermixed with a hint of racist stereotyping with just a dash of anti-black bias. I can’t today. Just….can’t. I’ll just say this: Not all mixed folks are pretty. That is all.

  • DownSouth Transplant

    hahahahahaha, Stop it, you know i work in an office, I need to keep it down LMAO!!!

  • Perspective

    I could…. but today I just won’t. Don’t have the energy. The ignorance of a lot of black women is profound.

    I’ll give it another 10 years and wait for the REALLY distraught look on these women’s faces – maybe then they’ll listen.

    In short: White men are the builders and maintainers of their community. There will be no wholesaling of black women getting white men or any other race of men because they value their women because they are trying to pass on what they have built and keep it in their group. Their women cooperate with this structure and benefit from it. The white woman is not running the white community, nor is she trying to.

    This is why black women are not valued at the collective level. In order to be valued like patriarchal white men value white women, by your own men, you would have to participate in a black patriarchy, but we already know black women aren’t down for anything like that… so – there’s nothing more to say.

    Keep on with your INTERRACIAL DREAMS
    Keep thinking that other races of women are valued INTRINSICALLY by their race of men and that there’s just SOMETHING wrong with black men.

    BW – The most clueless women on earth.

  • Perspective

    Its comments like these that really take the wind out of black women’s sails whenever they file “light skin valued more complaints”

    Pretty mixed babies huh?

    So what does that say about adult mixed women verse regular black women?

    SMDH

    Let me pick Eve’s hypothetical daughter over sistas like you and it’s a problem.

    that is (if you are an actual sista – and not a white instigator)

  • Kay

    Um, here’s a supportive statement right here: nearly every rap song created this decade. Not to say that Black men don’t get their fair share of hate too, because they do. But my cousin was just blasting a Rick Ross song where he proudly proclaimed something along the lines of “I got a white girl who will do me like a Jamaican girl.” I was like, Wait…..What?! Why do you have to spell out that she’s White? And why can’t you just go get a Jamaican girl then? And let’s not even mention Lil Wayne who has a such a stranglehold on youth culture right now that it’s scary. It’s a deeply embedded issue that colorism is real, that racial mixing has historically been looked up as a pastime for Black men and a traumatic experience for Black women.

    Many dating experiences in Black communities are extremely gendered, and double standards exist to the detriment of many Black women who want to go outside proffered social norms. But you’re right, it’s not completely one way or the other, it’s very nuanced, but the double standard IS there.

  • Perspective

    Nuh uh – didn’t you see BLACK IN AMERICA – episode 409

    In that episode they interviewed a group of black men who were crying that they felt abandoned by black women who were dating white men. You should really check it out. I mean these brothas were really shedding some serious tears. One black guy was so upset he tried to throw a chair out a window like Chris Brown.

    So I don’t know what you are talking about – we see this all the time.

    Go to your local barbershop and you will hear brothas complaining none stop about how many black women are leaving them for other races of men.

  • Perspective

    @ Kay

    Most of these rappers come from the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder and were raised by single black mothers.

    Furthermore if you are going to take RAPPERS the smallest segment of black men humanly possible who are in the entertainment industry and APPLY that to everyday black men, I can’t say there’s much hope for black women like you.

    I just look at women who take their cues from social media and walk away.

  • Ummmmm

    “I’ve never been with somebody so supportive in my life so it’s good. It’s a blessing.”

    Umm that’s right, straight out of her own mouth. What’s with the chip on your shoulders?

  • Perspective

    @ Treece

    Have you women ever considered that the black men who may give black women grief are the black men who DON’T have access to other races of women.

    “At least in my city”

    You know I’ve never heard “at least in my suburb!” brothas are JUST SO MAD!

    Please direct me to this community of brothas were large percentages of them are dating outside their race but get mad when you do it.

    I think you are talking about two completely different demographics of men.

    The brothas who are mad – IF THEY ARE MAD – are typically brothas WHO ONLY DATE SISTAS – whether by choice or due to their low socio economic status.

    This notion that Keandre is pulling Laguna Beach Becky on the REGULAR is unbelievably false.

  • EST. 1986

    Ummmm The chip on her shoulder is one where Black men must be defended at all costs.

  • YeahRight2011

    Black Patriarchy huh? White patriarchy isn’t keeping white women safe from black men or other racial groups including their own. Its not keeping white women from being laid off, filing for divorce, or engaging in radical anti-male politics. Talk about “valued”.

  • Chillyroad

    The chip is that any relationship between a sista and a white guy is always the best thing since penicillin. I don’t like this myth that everything that comes in white is somehow better. White women certainly aren’t allowed to be better than black women.

  • http://gravatar.com/jamesfrmphilly jamesfrmphilly

    ‘The brothas who are mad – IF THEY ARE MAD – are typically brothas WHO ONLY DATE SISTAS – whether by choice or due to their low socio economic status”

    in philly poor white and poor black mix and have numerous mixed babies. economics has nothing to do with it. ignorance does.

  • Chillyroad

    @kay

    The double standard exist within every gender. Women are often told that once they go black, they can’t go back. IR dating for anyone other than white men has been dangerous. He has never suffered socially or physically. The Lovings notwithstanding. Likewise no one is stopping black women for being with who they want to be with. She isn’t a Palestinian girl in the Gaza Strip and him a Jew from Tel Aviv. It ain’t that serious. Go have some tea with Val.

    Please stop referring to rappers.

  • Chillyroad

    You guys do know that “shawty the sweetie” is a piss take, right?

  • Mr. Man

    Lol @ Laguna Beach Beacky.

    It truly is demographic IMO, in the hood black dudes do trip (maybe not all out mad though), as well as the black females so it goes both ways. Step outside the hood into neighboring middle class communities its not so much an issue really, thats just based on my own personal experience. Many years ago (mid 90′s) I was with a Thai woman and I can’t tell you how many mean muggin shots we got and how many mmmmm’s we heard in the urban hood areas. Out side of those communities we got none of that from black women. Did I get high fives from my fellow BM at the time no not at all, that just wasn’t the type of company I kept/keep. The only thing I heard from guys (if anything) was stereotype questions i.e. ‘is it true what they say about Asian women?’

  • http://www.geekmommarants GeekMommaRants

    Female? Female what?

  • Mademoiselle

    @Perspective FYI: suburb and city are not mutually exclusive. Someone can say “in my city” and still be referring to their suburban community.

  • http://www.myblackfriendsays.com myblackfriendsays

    What does this mean? I am almost 34, and not up on the latest slang.

  • Ask_ME

    “Please direct me to this community of brothas were large percentages of them are dating outside their race but get mad when you do it.”

    I direct you to the state of California.

    Sincerely,

    A black woman married to a white man from Cali.

  • EST. 1986

    Right. That is what I was thinking.

  • Yb

    I’m just wondering why an article about a black woman dating a white men attracts so many black male commentators and also why some women are talking about black men in the comment section, when they weren’t the topic of the article.

  • Ask_ME

    Cont’d…

    Various comments I’ve heard from black men (both strangers and friends/family of various socio-economic status)…

    “Black women who date/marry white men are sellouts that hate black men.”

    “Any black woman that would date/marry a white man hates herself.”

    “The white man has done so much damage to the black race, any black woman that would date/marry a white man is an enemy to black men and black people. She is a race traitor.”

    “He can’t satisfy you.”

    “He’s not hitting it right.”

    “White men have small —-”

    “The white man used to rape black women. You shouldn’t desire to be with someone that tortured your ancestors.”

    When they weren’t saying this nonsense they were either trying to come between my relationships with various white men (ex. I learned quick not to date white men with black male friends…one guy told me his black male bff was constantly bad-mouthing black women to get him to stop dating black women) or they were trying to block access to me (ex. A black man who I thought was my friend told his white friend who had a crush on me not to pursue me because “Black women don’t like white boys and there aren’t that many good black women out here for a white boy to date.”

    ^^^And this is just the tip of the iceberg. I have had black men who are MARRIED to non-black women give me the *side eye* while me and my husband are out in public.

    I’m convinced nobody stares harder at BW/WM couples than black men who ARE in interracial relationships or date outside the race themselves.

    I actually asked one guy who married a white woman why my relationship with my husband is any of his business and this was his reply:

    “Whenever I see a black woman with a white man I feel embarrassed.”

    This idea that black men with access to non-black women don’t feel some kind of way about black women hoping the fence is bull-spit. I have experienced it to know…these are the main ones that feel salty about BW/WM relationships.

  • Ask_ME

    Cont’d…

    Various comments I’ve heard from black men (both strangers and friends/family of various socio-economic status)…

    “Black women who date/marry white men are sellouts that hate black men.”

    “Any black woman that would date/marry a white man hates herself.”.

    “The white man has done so much damage to the black race, any black woman that would date/marry a white man is an enemy to black men and black people. She is a race traitor.”

    “He can’t satisfy you.”

    “He’s not hitting it right.”

    “White men have small —-”

    “The white man used to rape black women. You shouldn’t desire to be with someone that tortured your ancestors.”

    When they weren’t saying this nonsense they were either trying to come between my relationships with various white men (ex. I learned quick not to date white men with black male friends…one guy told me his black male bff was constantly bad-mouthing black women to get him to stop dating black women) or they were trying to block access to me (ex. A black man who I thought was my friend told his white friend who had a crush on me not to pursue me because “Black women don’t like white boys and there aren’t that many good black women out here for a white boy to date.”

    ^^^And this is just the tip of the iceberg. I have had black men who are MARRIED to non-black women give me the *side eye* while me and my husband are out in public.

    I’m convinced nobody stares harder at BW/WM couples than black men who ARE in interracial relationships or date outside the race themselves.

    I actually asked one guy who married a white woman why my relationship with my husband is any of his business and this was his reply:

    “Whenever I see a black woman with a white man I feel embarrassed.”

    This idea that black men with access to non-black women don’t feel some kind of way about black women hoping the fence is B.S.. I have experienced it to know…these are the main ones that feel salty about BW/WM relationships.

  • Ask_ME

    Y’all can delete one of these. I didn’t mean to post the same comment twice.

  • alldawg

    You can include a WM not opening a door for a BW in distress cause she looks like a man, I guess WM get a pass on that one…

  • Ask_ME

    Please move on with your insecurity…thanks and goodnite!

  • Ask_ME

    This comment was directed at “alldawg” above. SMH.

  • Jaslene

    So why even comment?

  • __A

    This person trolls all over this site saying crazy stuff. You’re wasting your time.

  • Pseudonym

    Black Americans aren’t really “mixed” in the sense that- though they may know of suspect that they have an ancestor of a different race who they’ve never met- their parents are culturally the same. THAT’S really what makes the lives of mixed-race people different: they grow up with parents from two different cultures. When they go to their father’s sister’s house, it’s a different experience from their mother’s sister’s house.

    If you have a white, Mexican, Native American, etc. relative but practice absolutely NO white, Mexican, Native Americans, etc. customs, unless you have physical traits that cause people to take you for being white, Mexican, Native American, etc. you’re not really getting a “mixed” experience. You’re getting the same black experience as every other black person would get.

  • Anthony

    Black people need to grow up. Interracial dating or marriage is an option. Folks can do it if they want too. We need to accept other people’s choices (black men and women) and move on.

  • Chillyroad

    Myblackfriends

    It’s a British slang. In this context I’m saying she/he is just trash talking.

  • Chillyroad

    One of the comments early on Said black men can date out and be celebrated while black women get chased down the street with pitchforks and torches.

  • Chillyroad

    @Ask’me

    I’m going to assume you have the utmost sympathy for black men who are told they hate their black mother they are colorist, the are Uncle Toms and they don’t appreciate all the sacrifices black women have made for black men since slavery. There is also a large number of black women who no longer support entertainers and the like if they don’t have black wives.

    Blacks who date inter racially, I am one of them from Cali who hasn’t experienced the same things you have, should start a support group. Have Taye Diggs be the group leader.

  • Perspective

    I don’t think you read my comment in it’s entirety.

    You all really need to accept the REALITY – that the brothas who get upset – DO NOT DATE OUTSIDE THEIR RACE – or don’t have access to OTHER RACES OF WOMEN.

    Damn the blanket general ass statements. A brotha with 3 – 5 previous white girlfriends is NOT the brotha who ANGRY about black women dating IR.

    I’ve also heard about the Cali – black women – They are thirsty as hell for white men.

    Go on any internet dating site and that black woman who tries to stay around 125 lbs, wears these ridiculous Rupunzel weaves, and talks like a valley white girl are typically from Cali.

    These group of black women REALLY DON’T LIKE BLACK MEN.

    Most don’t want to be black and want to get as far away from black as possible. I don’t even approach these women aside from the fact that I’m not attracted to the ridiculous weaves – The way they look at black men is with a great disgust. You can see it in their eyes and on their face.

    They have those white validation – stamp of approval issues.

    Complain about light skin women, and how black men prefer them. Link up with a white man as some sort of TRUMP card only to stupidly have a biracial child, who if a girl, will be the SAME light skin woman, that she was JUST complaining about black men being into.

    Its just a really stupid cycle.

    Yes, you are validated by your white man, but only to produce the INSECURITY of another black woman. I honestly don’t think most sistas even THINK about that.

    Hop the fence – all you want, I think that anyone who does should just be aware of the impact of their decision, there’s no real solution unless we completely throw race and the issues associated OUT – but that’s just unrealistic.

  • Treece

    Yes! Thank you @ Ask_ME. Everything u said below is so true…..and I’m all the way on the other side of the country and have experienced it. Thumbs up + 10000!

  • Treece

    I meant “above” instead of below….

  • Perspective

    @alldawg – and yup, sadly those biracial kids DIED.

    @Ask_Me

    “I’m convinced nobody stares harder at BW/WM couples than black men who ARE in interracial relationships or date outside the race themselves.”

    This is just patently false. Obviously out of the 20 million black men in America – sure there are going to be exceptions, but to make a general statement as if

    Those black men who date outside the care as much as those black men who only date black women isn’t even logical.

    90% of black men marry black women
    5% of black men marry white women
    5% marry others races.

    So when black women act like they have all these EXPERIENCES with all these black men who are married or even dating interracially is INCONSISTENT WITH EVEN THE PROBABILITY of coming across a couple like that.

    Obviously, in some ares you will see it more than others, but there is no place in America where most or even a large some, are dating outside the race to the point where you see it everywhere.

    Its all about socioeconomics and demographics

    Also, you must be older because many brothas really don’t care.

    I think this also upsets black women a little as well. “Don’t you care!!!!!?”

    No, honestly I don’t. I can’t do anything with most sistas anyway. They are matriarchal, want to run the relationship, and are strong feminist.

    If I do see an incredible everything black woman with a white man, I’m either thinking she’s out my league or – WHERE THE HELL WAS I THAT DAY!?

    I’m not mad about black women with white men, as if, white men are sapping up all the black women. Please – there is no blockade of black men preventing white men from access to black women, that’s for damn sure.

  • Perspective

    “White patriarchy isn’t keeping white women safe from black men or other racial groups including their own. Its not keeping white women from being laid off, filing for divorce, or engaging in radical anti-male politics”

    This is beyond a dumb statement

    White patriarchy isn’t keeping white women safe.

    Two phrase: “Missing white women” NATIONAL SEARCHES

    Secondly this contradicts the very complaints filed by black women that black men don’t protect black women like white men protect white women.

    You are talking about your ass just to be talking.

    White women being laid off?

    SMDH – WHO HIRES WHITE WOMEN?! = white men!

    Filing for Divorce? OH YOU MEAN FROM THE SAME WHITE MEN THAT BLACK WOMEN ARE TRYING TO FLOCK TOO? LMAO

    Anti-male politics – Well makes sense since white men have all the power.

    I’m still trying to figure out what it is that black men are preventing black women from doing when everything they get they get from white men and their system anyway?

  • Treece

    @ chillyroad, ummm nobody is playing victim here sir. I was just talking specifically about the shade that gets thrown @ BW when we interracially date. I know full well there are black women who give BM a hard time for dating outside the race. My point is that BW get it too, and it sometimes is from the same BM that glorify dating WW. I was just giving examples from my life that supported SS25′s point…..

  • Perspective

    Mademoiselle – I’ll concede to that point, but my overall point still stands

    There are broad generalizations being made about two different demographics of black men that won’t hold up to scrutiny when you really get down to the ground and start asking, who really cares about IR, based on where they live.

    I think is BS – that Carlton cares as much as Deandre WHO ONLY DATES SISTAS

  • Yb

    So you don’t reside in California, unlike I and the commentator Ask_Me, but are going to use what you done “heaarrrrrdddd” to generalize the black women who live in Cali. And then want to say “Damn the blanket general ass statements” and yet do the same thing. -__-

    Okay, dude. Your argument is looking real sound right now. Like really keeping going, you look so intelligent right now.

  • http://U F

    sigh here we go again, putting white men on a pedestal. damn u women suck. I don’t blame black men for not dealing many of u.

  • http://U F

    Reason why because many of u black women are trained to hate black men no matter what. U sit up here put these pathetic articles out here putting white men on a pedestal and still have the nerve to talk ish about black men when black men are not even in this conversation, or article. U women are pathetic.

  • http://U Yep

    What i don;t understand is that how come when i visit white blogs i don’t see or hear white men talking so highly of black women as seeing black women on this website talking so highly of white men but yet talk so lowly of black men. U women are the most disloyal set of women on this planet. All this white validation is sickening, My god, i rather deal with an African woman, or any other black woman than to deal with an African American woman, u women got major issues.

  • http://U Yep

    My question is why do many of u black women always want to do the same ish as black men, why don’t u all just be like other races of women n just stay in your damn lanes. geez

  • http://gravatar.com/missinformation7 Ms. Information

    This comment thread is bananas…..Ruby Dee made a comment that stuck with me…slavery, Jim Crow, discrimination broke us down and then made us turn against ourselves. I know that many black men have turned to white women and “other” and if I am honest with myself I don’t like it. I am aware that it is not my business, but when I see it, something physical happens in me, I don’t like it. I feel a connection with black men that is innate. Do what you want to do I guess, but don’t sit up and act like white men or women are our saviors.

  • http://U Yep

    Really, in this day and age i think many black men know and see how the way many black women treat them and have no respect for them and in all honesty, black men are moving on, they know u women are disloyal as hell and any race of man can get u with out getting an attitude from u all, Just leave black men out of this. Stop calling up our names, stop mentioning us, u want to support eve and her white knight then so be it but just shut the hell up about black men when black men have nothing to do with this u programed freaks.

  • http://U Yep

    What my issue is that if u sisters want to like and give praise to other black women for dealing with white men, then more powers to you but my question is, if black men have nothing to do with this, why do u all feel the need to have to s hit on these brothers when this article has nothing to do with them? Just admit it, many of u women hate and have major issues with black men and think every single black man is the same just as your pathetic mind think that every white dude is respectful, doesn’t beat his women and is the perfect guy. When that same white man gets u pregnant and leaves your ass like Halle Berry u better stay your black ass over there and dare not come back to the black community with that ish. n if u do i hope no black man is stupid enough to deal with your traitorous asses.

  • hmmmmm

    @Kay

    Black men and women participate in the horrible sides of rap….you know cosign each other. Rap music is not very affirming. Then again pop music in general is not very affirming….and once again men and women are equal participants.

    So, for proof that black men are getting praise for dating white women you went to Rick Ross and Lil Wayne? How about listing men who, you know like themselves and their people? What about Jay Electronica? What about a bevy of other black men in music that do not take time to shout out their white woman lust? Rick, Wayne, Kanye and Jay are the successful ones….probably the ones women desire the most, so I can see how what they affirm can be hurtful. But where is the public space where men are giving them praises – P-R-A-I-S-E for dating white women? They may be admired for dating many women but white women? You and SS25 need more people.

  • Hook’em

    “The brothas who are mad – IF THEY ARE MAD – are typically brothas WHO ONLY DATE SISTAS – whether by choice or due to their low socio economic status.”

    The “or due to their low socio economic status” got me, just, wow…Why is it that you feel the need to stalk a website catering to Black Women and make comments like these?

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    Cosigning ^^^^

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    Peppermint tea is pretty good. Had to give it up because I use to much sugar.

  • Perspective

    Yb – to act and pretend that we all haven’t come across these types of black women – like that blonde black woman with the crooked eyes on Flavor of Love or whatever stupid show it was that she was on, is to deny the obvious.

    As I have stated, I made my observations by the black women I’ve seen on these online dating sites whose profile always say

    “PLEASE, WHITE MEN ONLY!”

    with their Rupunzel Weaves. Just looking at them, you can assume how they are going to sound which is no different than that black men who look a certain way and black women assume they are going to be a certain way. No one is saying that its that way 100% of the time, but if it’s 85% of the time – PLEASE keep the change.

    I hate how many black women are so quick to deny the obvious with their 1% of the exceptions counter arguments.

    I have heard this complaint filed by numerous black men from California and the “WHITE MEN ONLY” profiles with their only dating site profiles – Location: Los Angelas – only supports their accusation.

    And for black women to come on here and PRETEND like they don’t know these type of “WHITE MEN ONLY” type sistas goes beyond being DISHONEST.

    We got tunes of sistas out here who want nothing to do with being black, black people, don’t want their children to be black, love to brag about the white men who are just BANGING THEM to be honest, and will elevate any white man dumb enough to put a ring on a woman with a mentality like that, on a pedestal and then claim that because she’s with a white man that white men are an option for MOST sistas. All black women have to do is just be open to white men and the IR flood gates will shower them with white men dying to be with them.

    I don’t get into whether white men want black women or not. There is no blockade of black men preventing black women in large groups, small groups, or collectively from dating or marrying white men.

    REMEMBER the black man is WEAK – we can’t stop strong independent black women from doing anything – so to think that COMPLAINTS coming from WHATEVER brothas is going to stop sistas from dating white men… smh – I don’t even know why sistas are complaining.

    Like I said, I think it has more to do with white validation and the stamp of approval to be some sort of “SEE I AM VALUABLE! SHOWS YOU, AND HE’S A WHITE MAN – THE MASTER OF THE WORLD AND HE WANTS ME SO NA NA NA NA BOO BOO!”

    Men like me; I just look at them. “Ok…”

    I’m not going to get into a DUMB ARGUMENT about who is more desirable and who can get other races MORE.

    I’m not OUT to hurt feelings – I don’t see the point in putting sistas down like that. I just think most are delusional, but hey, they can believe what they want to believe.

  • Perspective

    Co-sign as well.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    Being mixed has nothing to do with which relatives you may have met. If you have ancestors of multiple races then you are mixed race. If a white man fathers a child with a black woman and dies before the child is born, that child is no less mixed even if he/she has never met any of their white relatives.

    Black Americans are usually mixed because they have ancestors of multiple races. Mixed is mixed and it has nothing to do with who you have personally met.

  • Treece

    “stay in your lane”? Wow, and here I was thinking that its 2012 and people (regardless of gender) were allowed to be/do whatever the f**k we wanted to do just b/c we felt like it…..hmmm
    What makes you think that black women are trying to be like men when we date IR? It is actually b/c we want to and we do find men other races attractive. This may be new to you so you might wanna let it sink in a second…

    Also, why must black men such as yourself idealize other races of women so much? I know plenty of women of other races that have no problem “changing lanes” to use your metaphor. Honestly, are u that threatened by a woman who chooses to date someone other than a BM?

  • Perspective

    I don’t know why it got you. Sistas love to say – “WHITE WOMEN ONLY WANT YOU FOR YOUR MONEY”

    White women and other races of women typically come from intact patriarchal communities where money and resources do matter. They choose there mates not entirely based off of this but it is a factor. In there community it is important for men to be in the proper financial position to be able to support a foundation and most will seek this PRIOR to getting involved with a man.

    They do not typically operate like many black women who think that they are the rock and foundation and get with a man REGARDLESS of him being in the proper position because she believes that his money is irrelevant as it pertains to FOUNDATION BUILDING and not shopping sprees if he does have money. This is part of the reason black women get accused of being gold diggers because there are MANY (not all) who only see a man’s money as provisions for WHAT SHE WANTS – rather than having any semblance of getting with the foundation that he has laid down for children and a family.

    Since this is the case, and many black men in urban environments do NOT have the same opportunities as the men of these non-black woman’s communities – THESE black men are not going to have the easiest time getting with these women other than your occasional THUG LOVING – thanks to BET! and other ways that street culture is promoted to non-black community as it is the black community as well.

    I hope that cleared things up.

    This is the reality – we state it all the time – but when its broken down to the ATOM – people want to get sensitive and UPSET.

    Next time you see a street dude with a white girl you tell me if she’s the LAGUNA BEACH TYPE or just a hood white girl?

    MONEY plays directly into the type of woman you can attract.

    Women who come from money are not trying to TAKE A STEP DOWN – some get caught up, but most will steer clear of DEANDRE from 36th and Crenshaw. Carlton is expected to be INCORPORATED into her world.

    Black men are not bringing LAGUNA BEACH BECKY – back to ANY BLACK HOOD – that’s for damn sure.

    Becky: “You want me to live there!?!? …ha… ha”

    White girls are NOT as DOWN as brothas think, once you take them out their comfort zone – but that doesn’t mean that black women are a better option with their matriarchal mindsets either.

  • alldawg

    S your H all you want, what I dont have is a false sense of security in whiteness..”see my post above”. And I dont care who dates who, but to give oneself a ticker tape parade for dating is highly self indulgent when no one else is parading behind the bw ir experience. Except those who market of that insecurity.

    Why do you act as if your experience defines all, if this problem is so common and wide spread that it happens everytime you go to the organic market, video tape all of them and put them all up.

  • alldawg

    I second this notion…

  • Chillyroad

    Treece

    Forgive me but you were responding in the affirmative to comments about black men being praised for dating IR. and when so many black women preface their desire for IR with black men do it too then you know that there is hypocrisy on both sides. Only difference is black women dating men-white- who have been the biggest hypocrites in this whole game. White men constructed a system whereby he decided imprisoned and killed those who didn’t date according to his own interest. So the relationships between BW/WM have received far more protection. Historically.

  • Chillyroad

    @YB

    I am Cali born and bred. I don’t know about receiving hate from black men when I dated inter racially and I don’t know about black valley girls with bad weaves and I used to live in Simi Valley, ie Ronald Reagan country.

    Cali is far more progressive than any of you are describing it. We never had the same history if segregation, we have a relatively new black population and much of the politics of black folks came out of the multi racial universities of UCLA and Berkely and not the black church. I don’t recognise the Cali that anyone is describing here. I’ve lived all over Cali. North south desert and valley.

  • Chillyroad

    Ms.Info

    You and Jill Scott whince when you see black men and white women. Many black women in the arts ie Terry McMillan made a career out of making black women paranoid about a non existent craze of Black men going IR. the angry BW mad that the brothers are hoping the fence has been a theme in too many movies to count. None if it was based in reality. Black women would rather believe what she sees on TV than her lying eyes.

  • bluefacedangel

    Get your happy, Eve.

  • Perspective

    Co-sign.

    You don’t SHOW CASE – other people who don’t show case you, and that goes for both black women AND black men.

    It should simply not be done.

    But I think what gets brothas about articles like this are those sistas who always have to bring up black men in the context of jumping on EVERY IR relationship with a black woman or even mixed woman and then promote the idea that this is a viable option for all or most sistas.

    When Garcelle Beauvais relationships went south – THE RAINBOW COALITION SISTAS WERE SILENT.

    When Halle’s relationships went south – CRICKETS

    I personally believe there IR dating fantasies just highlight have many black women have felt all along because – HEY white men can offer black women what black men can’t at the collective level.

    Black women will never acknowledge the part that they play in raising WEAK MEN – who don’t act like men, see women as equals, expect women to carry 50% of the load, prefer men who can’t control them, will avoid men who are in the proper position – then cry that black men are strong enough to either go up against white supremacy to place the black woman in a pedestal or that black men are not in the position to afford black women the luxuries that white women receive from white men.

    I think this comment from a black women really spells it out. …. Let me find it.

    Keep in mind this is a black woman’s comment

    “I do agree with you however that white women are a lot smarter in the way they do things. They will stick it out until they get what they want. But black women aren’t willing to do that yet complain about white women receiving what they get.

    “The only explanation is that black women aren’t willing to DEAL WITH what white women deal with. Black women want what white women have, but they don’t actually want to be in white women’s position. Let them tell it.”

    “Black women don’t want to DEAL with men they just want the title. And just like I said black women don’t want what black men are offering, they want to negotiate the terms of agreement.”

    Exactly, and brothas know this – BUT DO YOU THINK THIS COMES UP when sistas want to charge brothas for fence jumping? HELL NO it doesn’t

    Its just – “oh they like light skin, hate their mothers, and are self hating.”

    There is really no honestly on the part of black women when it comes to ACTUALLY solving the problems between black men and black women. I don’t even think that’s their goal anymore.

  • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

    @Ravi

    I use about a half-teaspoon of sugar. Try it like that. It doesn’t need much.

  • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

    @Binks

    Enjoy! :-)

  • None

    I am happy for Eve. As for me, I still have no desire to date white men. It’s just not there.

  • K. Moore

    Apparently you do since yo comment,if you didn’t care why post? Get a life and find something better to do. I hate how people claim “they don’t care”,but be the first person to comment about “they don’t care”. Go jump the Brooklyn bridge.

  • PJ

    Notice how the sister embraces interracial dating with white men BUT still shows respect and love toward black men. That is the difference.

    An example of a black male entertainer who married outside of his race but is still embraced by black women is Dave Chappelle. He maintains respect for all of his people and doesn’t harp on about black women like the other catty little black comedians. Take notes

  • PJ

    Whenever I see perspective’s name I just scroll on by. I suggest other ladies do the same and just downrate. There are always 1 or 2 of them on sites for black women.

  • http://gravatar.com/niajolie JJ

    I don’t think that matters. If a black man sees a black woman who is attractive dating a white man he’s probably not going to like regardless of who he dates. Black men don’t say much about black women who date outside of the race because for the most part we don’t. If black women in mass started dating non black men who typically have more resources than black men trust and believe black men would not like it. Because a black woman who dates outside of her race gains more than a black man who dates out of his.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    You are onto something Chillyroad. I don’t know where this craze is coming from because despite the rise in interracial dating/marriage most people still date and marry INTRA-racially whether they are black, white, Asians, etc. I’ am still very much of a date who you want type of person and be happy but this doom and gloom is just not plausible and seems like a scare tactic to promote personal agendas.

  • Bambi

    True but not all blackmen

  • hmmmmm

    “Notice how the sister embraces interracial dating with white men BUT still shows respect and love toward black men. That is the difference.”

    I hear you but this is not true always. Let someone black women lust over show up with a white woman then watch and listen.
    Let the Idris dude show up with Kate hudson. Sisters are going to be, sisterly, huh? Maybe….

  • http://gravatar.com/eynapanirb B.Payne

    If Clutch ever releases a story about Idris dating a non-black, this site will SHUT DOWN due to heavy incoming traffic, LOL!

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    my early childhood sugar addiction has left me unable to taste small amounts of sugar. If i’m making tea I’m putting Kool Aid levels of sugar. It’s not palatable for me otherwise. My tongue might be impaired; well, with tasting sugar at least. It functions fine outside of that.

  • MK

    I still can’t understand why people care who someone else is dating. Let people live and YOU live your life. There good and bad men all over the world.

  • Chillyroad

    JJ

    White men may have more resources than black men but white men who are with black men typically tend to be your very average middle to working class person. In fact oftentimes the black woman may have more education than her white partner. She certainly gains much socially. Such is the inner workings of white privilege.

    Can you please qualify attractive black woman.

  • Perspective

    Ohh I remember when Clutch hard the article about Idris Elba dating IR – and black women WERE NOT HAPPY – They went the hell off!

  • Perspective
  • Perspective

    “Black men don’t say much about black women who date outside of the race because for the most part we don’t. If black women in mass started dating non black men who typically have more resources than black men trust and believe black men would not like it. Because a black woman who dates outside of her race gains more than a black man who dates out of his.”

    @ JJ

    I agree with you – however, that only supports my very point about the women who are making these false accusations as if black men are EQUALLY or more so upset that black are dating outside the race.

    Media really has black women believing that 95% of brothers are dating and marrying outside the race and that’s just not true.

    When I see an attractive black woman with a white man, I honestly don’t believe that she’s into brothas. Women try to make the claim as if there are oceans of black woman walking around attractive and just beautiful, 130-140 lbs – and brothas are just TURNING THEM DOWN. That’s just not the case. Many of these women don’t like brothas period. Then you have those how grew up in rich families and can’t deal with the CONDITION of most brothas. You also have some black women who are so slim that more white men find them attractive the ‘NO BUTT” girls – I don’t knock them AT ALL for going where their stock is higher.

    But these supposed FINE sistas. Please – there are no brothas THROWING those women away unless they have one hell of a bad attitude like JESSICA WHITE or THIRSTY ASS KENDRA MOORE.

    Looking good enough to sleep with and being the type of woman to make a black man want to get on knee are 2 COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS.

    I think women seem to forget that a lot.

  • http://gravatar.com/missinformation7 Ms. Information

    @ Chilly…yeah, I am admitting it..even when I know for a fact that the majority of black men still want black women…you are right though, they kind of pushed that agenda and created this “character” I never looked at it that way. I just think that so many black people have this Stockholm Syndrome like illness where they worship all that is white…

  • Neke Neke

    I always laugh at the people who swear they don’t care about this issue, yet always comment on articles as these.

  • http://gravatar.com/missinformation7 Ms. Information

    addendum: I know that all whites are not bad people, but all whites benefit from racism…date who you want but understand your history at the same time…j/s.

  • Perspective

    @ Bink – keeping the black women dissatisfied with herself and her main bust up the race.

    For the men who don’t want to deal with it and eventually hop the fence – this only REINFORCES the black woman’s beliefs that she’s been brainwashed to believe. White media is VERY QUICK to highlight this.

    Primary Example – Singer Monica gets married – How many times have we see her photos – NOT MANY.

    Kim K is with Reggie Bush – MEDIA WAS ALL OVER IT.

    Kanye was with Amber – MEDIA WAS ALL OVER IT.

    There are tons of black couples that the white media couldn’t give a damn about – but the sad thing is black women “in all their emotion” swallow this information up WHOLE.

    if you don’t believe men walk around your community, campus, or whatever and RANDOMLY ask any black women come across – what percentage of black men over the last 10 years have married white women – just a average overall number.

    I put $1000 down they all say WELL over 5%

    BW #1: 40%

    BW# 2: 75.9%

    Me: Uhhh, why the 9?

    BW# 3: 95%!!!!!!! because all these NINJAS ARE SELF HATING AND HATE THEIR MOTHERS!

    Me: Whoa – ok I can see she’s got some dark skin issues let me slowly back away. Medias got her sucked up in the dark skin issue too.

  • Perspective

    Most don’t care about the issue, because there really is not issue. What they care about is the need to LIE about how many individuals really care. I understand that its a sista ego stroker to think otherwise, but it really gets OLD.

    If you are a fence jumper – JUMP! Who cares what other people think.

    If you feel that white men are better, ok.

    I’m into the dumb arguments on that because I live in the real world and know what the REAL DEAL IS – which is why articles like this have to written.

    Black women can say what they will about black men – but there are no articles written by black men PROMOTING AND PRAISING black men for dating out. THOSE WHO DO, SIMPLY JUST DO IT.

    What you will see are explanations as to why they date out, which sistas don’t like – but I think it’s something that they should hear, since they are the first ones to throw up self hate! when they see a brotha with a non-black woman.

    The truth is most sistas lack the discipline to go over the fence.

    There are certain levels of expectation to going over there; its not a “I WOKE UP AND DECIDED TO DATE WHITE” sort of thing – as if the only thinking keeping black women from dating white men have been ANGRY JEALOUS BLACK MEN – and LOYAL BLACK WOMEN – Pooooooooolease!

    Sistas don’t date white men because

    A) it’s not really THEIR CHOICE – because they are dealing with men and MEN do the choosing.

    B) if a black woman is a feminist or MATRIARCH – she can’t take that mess over there to white men. What place does strong independence have with men who are SAID TO BE THE MOST POWERFUL AND IN CONTROL. They have foundations over there that they are ADDING WOMEN TOO – if you are not into that sort of structure, I can guarantee most white men, even those into sistas, will be passing you over.

    C) There’s no where to go if a white man checks you. You can’t say, “Oh you white men don’t do…” or “You don’t deserve me being slim, I don’t need to work out because you’re not handling your responsibility in THIS area.” The same reasons sistas avoid ON POINT BLACK MEN – are the same reasons they avoid white men

    HE HAS TOO MUCH CONTROL

    So I already know that most sistas don’t have the mindset to go over there. If sistas really could go over there in drove, and the issue of a white man trying to pass on white legacies wasn’t an issue, THEN BROTHAS WOULD HAVE MUST LESS PROBLEMS WITH SISTAS – and there would be no reason for black women to go over there with the claim that brothas weren’t checking for them.

    How many non-black women do you see successful/educated black men getting with who ACT like black woman? If it was just about LIGHT SKIN, then ghetto white girls should suffice. That’s not the case those, DARK SKIN and NAPPY HAIR – ain’t really what brothas are running away from, but let sistas tell it.

    SELF HATE!

  • WhatIThink

    Why is it that bloggers and sites like these are pushing these articles in such a way to make it seem as:

    1) Interracial relationships are better or more stable than non interracial
    2) Interracial relationships are some “new thing” that somehow didn’t exist before
    3) Interracial relationships “prove” that blacks have progressed
    4) Interracial relationships are some measurement of black worth and identity

    All 4 of these things are totally and completely false.

    1) Interracial relationships are as prone to dysfunction and abuse as any other relationships, not to mention the odds of “racial issues” coming up potentially
    2) Seriously? Who on earth are people kidding with this one? In entertainment and especially Hollywood interracial relationships are the norm not the exception. Seems to me we should be celebrating non interracial relationships more than anything else especially in this group…..
    3) Well considering that blacks don’t have any more wealth or power because of interracial relationships this is a stupid idea. And with a biracial president and multiple biracial or mixed former governors and mayors who have done absolutely nothing for black folks, along with all black ones, I don’t see how anyone could suggest this to be the case.
    4) And this is the ultimate in self destructive nonsense. To be “black” you need to be “post black” and prove your “post blackness” by having an interracial relationship. Seriously? Do you hate yourself that much?

    And how is it that folks try and pretend that white folks have somehow lacked access to black panties and drawers? I mean duh with all the creole, mulatto and mestizo black folks running around you surely must be kidding. Not to mention the ‘secret’ offspring of many notable racists or the famous example of Sally Hemming who by no means was any exception. So why on earth are people obsessing over interracial relationships and putting them front and center over and above the within racial relationships? That is where I draw the line. It takes the issue totally and completely out of context.

    The issue to me is that America and white society around the world has always promoted white males and females as the epitome of manhood and womanhood and the most desired partner in any relationship. They are upheld as the standard of beauty, intelligence and dignity. So from that perspective, unless you live under a rock, of course they are going to be seen as desirable. And couple that with the fact that they have the wealth and power in society, it is automatic that they would have the upper hand in the mating area. On the other hand, black men and women are NEVER shown as anything to be desired in a mate and they certainly don’t have much to offer when it comes to wealth or power. So do the math. Until black men and women are shown as equally loving, desired and worthy as mates (especially for other black folks) I will never see these things as anything other than a continuation of the destruction of black folks by miscegenation and promoting race mixing as a way of eradicating black folks in America. This is nothing new, it has always been there in colonized societies, but some of us like to play dumb and forget the reality of the situation for black folks.

  • Srenda

    @Yep lol Halle Berry’s situation does not prove your point. She’s rich. She’s had relationships with black men that didn’t work out, either. People of all races get into relationships that last or don’t. It’s called life.

  • Chillyroad

    Perspective

    Dam son! That Idris Elba article done shut this whole thing down.

  • Echi

    Well, considering that she used to date that douchebag, Stevie J, just about any relationship after that – white, black, male, female, is bound to be a rip-roaring success for her.

  • http://gravatar.com/mimiandy1683 MimiLuvs

    Whenever Clutch publishes the articles about interracial dating, I tend to lay back in the cut and just read the readers’ comments, because I know that there are going to be pages and pages of comments that are going to range from common sense to ‘off-the-muthafudgin’ wall’. Then I usually wonder why Clutch still publish these articles, when all they end up doing is luring in the loonies and bringing hostility. But, then I realize that Clutch is a blog and a business, so they need to draw in the hits.

  • Perspective

    WhatIthink

    I did lay this out in one of my comments.

    Black women feel undervalued and unappreciated due to the OVER emphasis in the media of high profile black men with non-black women (especially white women)

    Black women need that STAMP OF WHITE APPROVAL AND VALIDATION – if black men can’t give it to them – they seek to get it from the white man WITH ALL THE CONTROL AND POWER.

    I know you are intelligent enough to understand this.

  • Perspective

    @ Srenda – she did have relationships with black men that failed – NOW that she’s had relationships with white men THAT HAVE ALSO FAILED – we can now see that SHE WAS THE ISSUE, not always them.

    How many men is that?

    5-7?

  • DF

    didn’t even know…don’t care
    there’s a african american female model…super gorgeous, dark skin and she’s known for her backside (i totally forgot her name) but she’s been dating a white guy for awhile. Anyway, i read some comments from black men and alot were defending her and supportive of her…it was interesting…

  • DF

    i’ve been hearing rumors of halle’s crazy for years and I always sort of questioned it but it sort of made sense. Now the crazy is out for the world to see. If her baby daddy was black though, Hollywood and non-black media wouldn’t give two craps.

  • Margaret Cooley

    I’m glad Eve has found happiness. That’s what I want for my daughter – a man who will love, respect, and cherish her. I don’t care what color he is.

  • NOOOO

    due to slavery, and the master “visiting” the slave quarters. must black people have white ancestory in their genes. this is why you can generations of black people with light skin black people in their family line

  • Ask_ME

    Sorry I’m late to the party but I actually have a JOB.

    @Perspective

    Your false reality of CALI’s black women was laughable at best. If the only encounter you’ve ever had with black women from Cali is on a DATING SITE I pity you.

    I have been all over this country. Black women in Cali are some of the most well put together of the flock.

    Your fantasy of “valley girl talking, weaved down” black women just proves that you need to STFU and sit your *&*() down somewhere.

    I’m from Beverly Hills. I attended USC where I met and married my husband. We relocated to D.C. when he got a job for a law firm. While he was working at the firm I pursued my Master’s degree at Howard University. We currently spend our time in between Atlanta, D.C. and Cali.

    My “black” experience has been diverse. I don’t hate black people. I don’t hate black men. I don’t hate being black. I’m 5’6′ and I weigh 135. I rock my own natural hair. I’ve dated all races of men, but I admit I really dig white men….just something about them.

    You cannot tell me what my experience (or any other black woman married or dating outside race) has been with black men. You cannot tell us we imagine the stares and remarks from BLACK MEN (often times complete strangers). You cannot tell me what I experienced back home in Cali from BLACK MEN.

    I cannot count the number of times black men with white women on their arms have said something to me about my husband (and YES boo boo…A LARGE NUMBER OF BLACK MEN DO DATE OUTSIDE THE RACE IN CALI). I cannot count the number of times black men in ATLANTA/D.C. have felt it was their place to physically try to intimidate my husband while we were out in public.

    Get off dating sites and try living life.

    Next…

    @Chilly Road

    I seem to recall you writing that you’re overweight. It’s not surprising black men don’t harass you due to your interracial relationship. They probably weren’t checking for you anyway.

  • Ask_ME

    “Black women need that STAMP OF WHITE APPROVAL AND VALIDATION – if black men can’t give it to them – they seek to get it from the white man WITH ALL THE CONTROL AND POWER.”

    I just love the way you try to speak for black women.

    Look, I don’t know a single black woman that sits around longing for black men’s validation, which let’s be honest, doesn’t hold much value in this world.

    Honestly I don’t know any. I’m not saying they don’t exist but I personally don’t believe the MOST black women care about black men’s validation. Isn’t that what you and others on this site stay itching about??? Black women ignoring you and your ideas/opinions/validation???

    Believe it or not SOME of us are HONESTLY love/like NON-BLACK MEN. Some of us find them attractive, appealing, sexy, romantic, fun, loving, good-looking etc. It doesn’t have anything to do with validation, self-hate, blah, blah blah. As HETEROSEXUAL women with female sex organs SOME of us are capable of looking at White and Asian men and getting hot. If you cannot accept it…that’s your problem.

  • WhatIThink

    And for all those folks talking about how Eve has found love….. Please. Lets wait 2 or 3 years and see how long this “love” lasts…… Like I said, an interracial relationship is no more prone to last than a non interracial one. And often times they are as much about lust and curiosity as much as “love”….. So please stop with the foolishness.

    Do you really think that Eve has found the “love” of her life and now is the epitome for all black women to follow? Seriously?

    She is just screwing a white dude. So what? Stop trying to make it into some deep ground breaking event that we should all drop everything for and admire as if black folks have nothing else to worry about other than screwing people of other complexions….

    I certainly don’t see interracial relationships as something we should be treating as some example of black liberation or empowerment. Because if screwing white folks was the standard for black empowerment then blacks were empowered hundreds of years ago when they got to America, but we all know they weren’t now were they? Rather they just got screwed.

    That is why I am against these sort of articles.

    Now if you had some articles showing how a black couple stayed together through thick and thin in a relationship that lasted and endured the test of time…. THEN I would applaud it but right now you treat the escapades of these entertainers and their revolving door partners as things blacks need to run out and emulate…

    That is nonsense.

  • Meagan

    Im really happy that she found a good man but her comments are idiotic….

  • Ask_ME

    “And for all those folks talking about how Eve has found love….. Please. Lets wait 2 or 3 years and see how long this “love” lasts…… Like I said, an interracial relationship is no more prone to last than a non interracial one. And often times they are as much about lust and curiosity as much as “love”….. So please stop with the foolishness.”

    She’s been with this man for YEARS and YES, studies have shown that BW/Non-black men relationships do tend to have a great deal of longevity. They are some of the more stable relationships. I suggest you do your research.

  • Srenda

    How is she the issue? They failed in their relationships with her, too. And probably have in other reltionships as well. Again, that’s life. Win some lose some. She just happens to be famous and rich.

  • Srenda

    @DF How is Halle Berry crazy? She’s engaged to be married and ahe’s trying to raise her daughter away from the paparazzi. What do you know that we don’t about her mental state besides her being a concerned parent and trying to move on with her life. Are there reports of her talking to herself and answering back? Has she been photographed wearing two different colored shoes while playing in traffic or something? Doubt it.

  • Srenda

    How do you know what her relationship is all about? Why so cynical? Lots of people have relationships that last two or three years. Blacks with blacks, interracial couples. So what? Apparently it’s already been three years with this guy. If they break up what would that mean that’s so different than most people’s break-ups? They might get married have kids, stay together or break up just like anybody else.

  • Perspective

    “BW/Non-black men relationships do tend to have a great deal of longevity.”

    Yes because the black women who are so desperate for that white stamp of approval are unwilling to let a white man go.

    Black women IR relationships last longer than White women with white men – so what are black women going to say that their love with white men is more genuine or natural than white men with white woman.

    The determining factor is the black woman.

    I also think there is a problem with comparing a really large group

    WW/WM with a really small group BW/WW

    but just going with this highlighted point that black women like to make about their LASTING LOVE with white men, I’m placing my bet on the fact that black women are so thirsty for white male affection and white validation that once they get a white man they are COMPLETELY UNWILLING TO LET HIM GO.

    Tariq Nasheed – YOUTUBE – “Negro Bed Wench!”

    “Black people like you are MESSING IT UP FOR ME!”

    Yes, them type of sistas.

  • Perspective

    @ Ask me

    “Look, I don’t know a single black woman that sits around longing for black men’s validation, which let’s be honest, doesn’t hold much value in this world.”

    Which is PRECISELY MY POINT – hence the ALL UP IN THE WHITE MAN’S LEMONADE!

    Trying to get what you can’t get from black men.

    Hold up…. reading the rest of your comment. I don’t get your point. You are only reinforces EXACTLY WHAT I SAID.

    Black women SEEK THE White stamp of approval.

  • alldawg

    Those studies show a percentage longer, not indefinitely longer. There are bw waiting on white men longer than any other race of women in the USA. Other than that the only substitute is something with a battery in it, but you can’t take to meet your parents can u.

  • Chillyroad

    @YB

    Wow! You’re a Trojan huh? I grew up around the University of Second Choice. Went to UCLA though.

    I’m not overweight boo and the fact that you would assume that I was in order to negate my generally positive experiences around black men as a woman who dates and eventually married inter racially shows that you have an agenda. It’s impossible for a black man to be indifferent or even supportive of a black woman and her choices. She must be fat or dark or natural or too Afrocentric looking for black men to care.

    Your flippant comment to me should be highly instructive of the mentality black women like you have and how you think nothing of throwing us under the bus to protect your inter racial relationship. I’ve notice how IR enthusiasts denigrate black women who aren’t feeling the swirl.

  • Chillyroad

    @Askme

    That comment was actually for you not YB.

  • anon

    Mind you, some people view/use interracial dating as a way to clean up their image (or up their self-concept/esteem).

    Anyone remember her ‘sex tape’ and ‘raunchy photos’ scandals?

  • WhatIThink

    @Srenda, the point is that this article makes it seem as if interracial is some “new” thing, especially in entertainment where there are many examples of such relationships. Look at the title: “I cannot believe I am with a white guy”. Which is fake. Look in the entertainment industry and see how many current and past interracial sexual relationships, sex partnerships or sex for fame relationships, marriages and so forth and you will see that trying to push this as “odd” or “unusual” simply makes no sense. Just like the idea that he wouldn’t know about her “ruff ryder” days as if that is some sort of “secret” when she is a public figure.

    Point blank: interracial relationships aren’t new and it isn’t something we need to write articles on as if it is some “special” thing black folks need to be beat over the head with every other day. Why? Who cares? Why is it so important? Why are you trying to sell it as some salvation for the ills of black people when it isn’t.

    For example, notice how the fact that Dr Dre is in an interracial marriage and has been in one for multiple years is hardly mentioned. Wonder why?

    Like I said, when I see articles that celebrate successful black on black relationships that are strong as often as I see this obsession with interracial relationships, I will feel this is simply trying to push an agenda on black folks.

    And you wonder why some folks don’t want to identify as black….

  • Ask_ME

    @Perspective

    No honey…black women, like all races of women, seek men they find attractive…regardless of race. Get that through your head and move on.

  • Ask_ME

    http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2012/02/interracial-dating-black-women-finding-love-outside-america/

    ^^^This thread successfully kills this “black men don’t care” argument.

  • Treece

    @ Chillyroad,

    “you were responding in the affirmative to comments about black men being praised for dating IR. and when so many black women preface their desire for IR with black men do it too then you know that there is hypocrisy on both sides. ”

    Yes, I said Black men get praised BY OTHER BLACK MEN for interracial dating. And who has verified that “so many black women” preface their desire to IR date with the fact that black men do it too. I think the reason why sometimes BW say that is b/c we get the side eye from BM such as yourself, and we have a greater need to defend ourselves. Where do you all get this notion that BW date WM because we are playing some kind of tit for tat game? Like so many of us, I don’t care about race when I date a man. If he’s attractive and we get along, I could care less if he’s white and my decision to date him has nothing to do with trying to do what BM do. There’s no hypocrisy there…

    “White men constructed a system whereby he decided imprisoned and killed those who didn’t date according to his own interest. So the relationships between BW/WM have received far more protection. Historically.”

    Yes, historically American society has given BM a harder time for IR relationships than BW with WM. However, that doesn’t mean that these relationships were fine and dandy with all of white America or BM. To be clear, IR relationships were universally looked down upon throughout history. WM imprisoned, beat, and killed lots of blacks (male and female) for being too close to whites and would kill their white brethren for having a relationship with a BW. BUT, here in 2012, there are BM who harbor ill feelings for BW who date IR b/c of slavery (i.e. the rape and assault of female slaves), or just plain jealousy and envy of WM, but will still idealize and give figurative slaps on the back to other BM for having sex with or dating/marrying a WW. That, sir, is the biggest hypocrisy of them all….

  • Rosey

    I think the common thread of many of the anti-IR commenters is that they try to assert a generality (i.e. white men evil) on an individual’s relationship. Black women are not a homogeneous group, dating a white man works for some. Get over it!

    I’m also sick of taking the collective blame for black men that date white women. That works for some black men. Some black men have a complex thats a reflection of themselves. Some may have dated a crazy black woman in the past that “drove them away”. But guess what? There are crazy white woman, crazy hispanic woman, etc. Why does black men dating white women need to be a reflection of the things I need to fix in myself?

  • http://www.facebook.com/gyl.lucas Gayle Lucas

    You broke it down quite well!! TEACH!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/gyl.lucas Gayle Lucas

    @WhatIThink, You broke it down quite well, TEACH!!

  • Perspective

    Why is black women dating white men – JUST SOME EVENT THAT HAPPENS due to chance and love

    But black men dating outside the race has to be associated with him having some complex?

    The answer to your last question really has to do with the way in which women interpret black men dating out and this incessant need to ask black men WHY they are dating out or exclusively women from other races.

    I think ignoring how BROKEN the black community is, and the REAL issues that black women have with their fathers, feminism, and the general lack of respect for black men (especially) in any sort of leadership or head of home capacity really is what illustrates the deeper problems rather than the superficial problems such as (black women are fat)

    I’ve had arguments where black women will say that BLACK WOMEN AND WHITE WOMEN ARE NO DIFFERENT.

    Only to turn around 5 minutes later and BLAME the differences/dysfunction of black women ON black men and therefore justifying the very behavior that many black men don’t like.

    black women can’t have it both ways.

    If black women have father issues for example. That’s unfortunate, but it’s not something that I want to deal with. Just as black men’s lack of opportunity is not something that some sistas want to deal with.

    I think people have entitlement issues. I won’t charge black women TO their issues as if it’s completely independent from the environments that they grew up in, but since I did not grow up in an environment like that – it’s not something I would want to deal with – also, it’s not really and INDIVIDUAL black woman thing – IT IS A CULTURE. People really need to get off that – “EACH INDIVIDUAL CRAP” – we have a CULTURAL problem. Generalizations CAN BE MADE – I only take issue when people make generalizations and DON’T QUALIFY THEM.

  • Perspective

    Wow – TOTAL UNACCOUNTABILITY – still finding some way to blame the men!

    Wow.

    If we flipped this around and it was a man who had 5 failed relationships with other women

    YOU AND OTHER BLACK WOMEN – would be quick to say

    “AND WHO’S THE COMMON DENOMINATOR IN THAT?”

    YOU

    but since it’s HALLE BERRY – the men have failed their relationships with her.

    WOW!

    Funny I don’t hear about any of these other men having brawls at their thanksgiving dinners.

  • Perspective

    I think I’m going to start wearing a T-shirt with this Image on it.

    “GOT SELF-HATE?”

    http://pictures.afroromance.com/pictures/8/4/8/8/7/6/0/m8488760_13543156231240.jpg

  • Srenda

    @Perspective Your perspective on this is so weak you probably shouldn’t have even replied to me. Read what I wrote again without putting your emotions into it. I wrote that
    “they failed in their relationships with her, too.” The word ‘too’ suggests ‘also.’ Meaning everybody involved. And LOL about how you don’t hear about any of these other men having brawls at their Thanksgiving dinners. And this means, what? Who is more famous? Has the tabloid newsmedia replaced your logic and common sense? If the news media doesn’t report on something does that mean that something is not happening? The point is we don’t know what’s going on with people.

  • Pseudonym

    Just listen to the music black men make to get your answer. Dark skinned black women get no love, but Hilary Clinton gets a shout out? Miley Cyrus- who was a teenager at the time- gets a shoutout?

    You don’t hear black women making songs glorifying whiteness or “not-too-black-ness” and that’s b/c on average, our approaches to race and dating are different.

  • Ask_ME

    @Pseudonym

    Right!?! I must have missed where Kerry Washington, Lynn Whitfield, Eve and other famous black women that date/marry outside the race have put black men completely on blast for being sub-par. The reality is it doesn’t happen.

  • Srenda

    @WhatIThink Okay, I hear what you’re saying but hey it’s they’re choice what to publish. I do think the internet can skew our perceptions on things though. Most folks end up with people of the same class background or racial background. For instance, Eminem and Eve probably have more in common than Eve and this guy because they both came from rough upbringings. So she probably is tripping about falling for some white race car dude from the UK. As far as putting more attention on successful black relationships I would say The Obama’s are a huuuuge example of one but then a lot of other folks might not agreee with that being an authentic enough black relationship because Barack Obama is bi-racial. You really can’t please everybody. The bottom line at the end of the day is love. I know love don’t pay the bills but what you gonna sustain yourself on when the road gets rough? Where is the love for ourselves in the black community and each other? Where is the forgiveness and the healing? We constantly put each other down for our choices. Relationships of any kind ain’t easy but if you find one that works enjoy.

  • Keepitreal

    Well, duh, everyone knows if a woman can’t “keep” a man, even if it means accepting abuse, lies and cheating, then she’s of course crazy!!!!

    Notice, men don’t have to “keep” women seeing as they are valuable in and of themselves for simply possessing a penis.

  • EST. 1986

    The title isn’t ‘fake’. Those were Eve’s words about her relationship.

  • Perspective

    @ Pseudonym

    1)I love how you take a subset of black men which is based on 1 demographic and apply that to all black men. What black men rap about women being light skin? GANGSTA RAPPERS. Does it ever occur to black women that most of these GANGSTERS were raised by single black women – yet these men have no love or desire for dark skin women – WHO LOOK LIKE THEIR MOTHERS? Why is it that black women never take accountability for how they raised these boys into men? I mean damn, the black woman has 100% oversight on how these boys turn out. The father is not there so she can teach him anything she wants to teach him and I’m sorry, but if you can’t teach a boy to minimally respect women – YOU ARE A FAILURE. But NOPE – black women won’t take accountability for that – they will blame the man who wasn’t even there to spread some of his bad habits onto the child.

    Black women need to take the LIGHT SKIN SONGS, and B’s and Hoes complaints up with the very black men that COME OUT of their matriarchal communities that they support and advocate.

    2) Darkness on black men is promoted so it’s very easy for black women to claim some sort of stupid racial loyalty.

    DARK SKIN black men were NOT in prior to 1992. The culture changed thanks to the very GANGSTA rap that black women despise.

  • Perspective

    @ ASK ME

    They don’t have to. There are enough black women on the internet writing articles such as

    ’8 reasons to date a white man’

    or

    ‘Why white men are the better choice’

  • Ask_ME

    @Perspective

    And those unknown black women are only giving black men a taste their own medicine. Remember black men started the “I date white because black women ain’t ish” nonsense.

  • Perspective

    No – Ask Me – black men really did not start that.

    With only 5% of black men marrying white women – yet black women swear up and down that 50% of black men are married to white women with even larger numbers dating or desiring white women – it was really one big fat SMEAR campaign against black men, via white media, through black women insecurities.

    This only creates more jaded black females – that more black men don’t want to deal with – e.g. they hop the fence – more black women complain, which only reinforces what black women have already been conditioned to believe.

    It spins on its own access.

  • Chillyroad

    So what is this retaliatory dating? You’re getting back at black men? Then you complain about harassment you get from black men when you are essentially telling everyone here that your relationship/marriage is a political choice?

    This is why my experiences with black men have been different. I met and married a man I loved not one I’m using as a mercenary in my war with black men. SMDH!

    Black folks.

  • Perspective
  • simplyme

    These kinds of articles always end up being a mess with the comments…

    I’m not sure how this was promoting IR dating or attacking Black men…but for me whats important more so than the race of anyone involved is that Eve came from her ruff ryder days dating a guy like Stevie J to dating a guy who appreciates her and treats her well. I’m supportive of all people who are in happy HEALTHY relationships for the right reasons. Few things annoy me more than when women put up with bullshit (pardon my french) in relationships because they think they have to or they don’t think they have options or they think thats what they deserve.

    If you read between the lines the interview/article wasn’t about really about dating interracially. Its about the fact that she found a guy who is supportive etc. etc., but that she would have never seen herself with years ago (because he just so happens to be White). All I took away from this was to be more open minded. You can use this for anything….short guys, tall guys, guys with glasses, guys that are nerdy, guys that are sporty..whatever.

  • Ask_ME

    Riiigghhtt…..amazing how the white media hasn’t managed to get Kerry Washington, Lynn, Eve etc to say “I date white because black men ain’t ish.” Truly amazing!

    Just admit it…the interracial SMEAR/Justification campaign was started by BLACK MEN. Now that black women have caught on it’s suddenly a problem. Those women are “jaded.” They have a “bad attitude.”

    Please come with a better argument.

    You say, “It spins on its own access.” I say the chickens have come home to roost and what goes around comes around.

    Those “jaded” black women are the generation that grew up watching and hearing BLACK MEN say, “I date white women because black women ain’t so and so.” It didn’t take the white media for them to hear it. They could hear it in their own families, communities etc. They could turn on Ricki Lake and see it.

    The modern “white fever” having black women grew up hearing the smear/justifications for interracial relationships from BLACK MEN…and you can act brand new if you like…you know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re guilty of it yourself (everyone here isn’t fooled by your screen name SWP). You can do a GOOGLE search and see nonsense from BLACK MEN with your own eyes.

    Now black men are getting a taste of their own medicine from this new generation of black women. I cannot sympathize. I will just say they don’t represent all of us who date/marry out. Many of us found love outside our race and it didn’t have a thing to do with black men, self-hate, white validation etc.

    Again the chickens have come home to roost…you brought it on yourselves.

  • Tommy

    I wished non white men cared about dating black women as you all care about dating them. 9% black woman interracial marriages? Sorry, you all need more people. Where are these non black man websites glorifying black women?

  • Perspective
  • cupcakes and shiraz

    Right? Clutch’s IR articles attract loons like sh*t attracts flies.

  • London

    Hi what about Arubian/Dominican/British Black woman that loves black men

  • Paradise

    If I’m not mistaken, her name is Bria Myles. She is quite lovely!

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    yeah, it’s Bria Myles. You thought sistas would be pissed about Idris Elba with a white girl. I was inconsolable. first the fat boys break up and now this. Nothing to believe in any more.

  • Mademoiselle

    I agree w/Perspective that it’s not as “widespread” as people make it seem and I also believe there’s a huge smear campaign going both ways to force large wedges between the black community, but IR is a growing trend if you look at Census data.

    Here are the facts:
    As of 1970, 98% of black marriages were BM/BW; it’s now at 85%. The “big shift” to IR marriages happened between 1970 and 1980. There were 2-3 times as many IR marriages in 1980 as there were in 1970. Lately, the number of IR marriages have only been growing around 3% each year since 2000. Finally, BW have NOT been late to the IR game: since the 70s for every BW that married a WM only 1.4 BM married WW. So BW may be less likely to do it, but it’s nothing new, nor are black men outpacing women today any more than they were back in the 70s.

    Source: http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=married%20couples%20by%20race%20gov&source=web&cd=3&ved=0CD8QFjAC&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.census.gov%2Fcompendia%2Fstatab%2F2012%2Ftables%2F12s0060.xls&ei=knC6UL-uFbHC0AGI24BI&usg=AFQjCNEHHmsEfFGJ9EL4Fs_042s2FXV-xw

  • Tommy

    I wished non white men cared about dating black women as much as you all care about dating them. Only 9% black woman interracial marriages? Sorry, you all need more people. Where are these non black man websites glorifying black women?

  • Tommy

    Where’s my comment? lol

  • Tommy

    Where are these non black man websites glorifying black women?

  • Ask_ME

    Riiigghhtt…..amazing how the white media hasn’t managed to get Kerry Washington, Lynn, Eve etc to say “I date white because black men ain’t ” Truly amazing!

    Just admit it…the interracial SMEAR/Justification campaign was started by BLACK MEN. Now that black women have caught on it’s suddenly a problem. Those women are “jaded.” They have a “bad attitude.”

    Please come with a better argument.

    You say, “It spins on its own access.” I say the chickens have come home to roost and what goes around comes around.

    Those “jaded” black women are the generation that grew up watching and hearing BLACK MEN say, “I date white women because black women ain’t so and so.” It didn’t take the white media for them to hear it. They could hear it in their own families, communities etc. They could turn on Ricki Lake and see it.

    The modern “white fever” having black women grew up hearing the smear/justifications for interracial relationships from BLACK MEN…and you can act brand new if you like…you know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re guilty of it yourself (everyone here isn’t fooled by your screen name SWP). You can do a GOOGLE search and see nonsense from BLACK MEN with your own eyes.

    Now black men are getting a taste of their own medicine from this new generation of black women. I cannot sympathize. I will just say they don’t represent all of us who date/marry out. Many of us found love outside our race and it didn’t have a thing to do with black men, self-hate, white validation etc.

    Again the chickens have come home to roost…you brought it on yourselves.

  • Ask_ME

    Riiigghhtt…..amazing how the white media hasn’t managed to get Kerry Washington, Lynn, Eve etc to say “I date white because black men ain’t.” Truly amazing!

    Just admit it…the interracial SMEAR/Justification campaign was started by BLACK MEN. Now that black women have caught on it’s suddenly a problem. Those women are “jaded.” They have a “bad attitude.”

    Please come with a better argument.

    You say, “It spins on its own access.” I say the chickens have come home to roost and what goes around comes around.

    Those “jaded” black women are the generation that grew up watching and hearing BLACK MEN say, “I date white women because black women ain’t so and so.” It didn’t take the white media for them to hear it. They could hear it in their own families, communities etc. They could turn on Ricki Lake and see it.

    The modern “white fever” having black women grew up hearing the smear/justifications for interracial relationships from BLACK MEN…and you can act brand new if you like…you know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re guilty of it yourself (everyone here isn’t fooled by your screen name SWP). You can do a GOOGLE search and see nonsense from BLACK MEN with your own eyes.

    Now black men are getting a taste of their own medicine from this new generation of black women. I cannot sympathize. I will just say they don’t represent all of us who date/marry out. Many of us found love outside our race and it didn’t have a thing to do with black men, self-hate, white validation etc.

    Again the chickens have come home to roost…you brought it on yourselves….

  • Ask_ME

    Can someone Post one of the comments I wrote in reply to Perspective? Just one of them…as I tried posting the same comment several times.

  • Mademoiselle

    I think there are fewer people monitoring the comments purgatory on weekends, so it takes longer for comments to post — especially if it’s long or has a link in it.

  • Ask_ME

    Where are these black men’s websites glorifying black women???? How dare the pot talk about the kettle!

    You black men still don’t get it. Some of you come across as truly pathetic with the nonsense you write.

    Black women as a collective aren’t looking for white or black men to glorify us.

    The only people we truly expect to do that is THE INDIVIDUAL MEN WE ARE WITH. For me that individual is a WHITE MAN (my husband). For the next black woman it is probably a BLACK MAN (her boyfriend or husband).

    I don’t need every white/non-black man to glorify me. I only expect it from the ONE I’m with. I’m sure it’s the same for most black women out here.

    Eve isn’t looking for white men as a whole to glorify her. She is looking at the white man she is WITH to glorify her.

    Halle Berry, Kerry Washington, Lynn Whitfield etc aren’t looking for white men as a whole to glorify them. Instead they are looking at the individual white men they are with.

    If you men were truly honest with yourselves you would admit that black female celebrities today and in the past NEVER looked to black men to glorify them.

    I don’t see Beyonce, Rihanna, Viva Fox, Keisha Knight or anyone else “pleading” or “begging” black men to glorify them.

    You overstate your importance in order to save your own ego. Unfortunately history and facts show us a different story.

    The “validation” you men keep talking about is sought by MOST black women on an individual basis…through the men we are WITH…not random strangers or whole races of men. Most of us don’t sit around thinking “I hope white men or black men as a whole find me beautiful.” Instead the mindset is something like this: “I hope MY boo thinks I look cute in this outfit.”

    Very few of us care what random men or whole races of men think about us.

  • Ask_ME

    @Mademoiselle

    It shouldn’t be this difficult to post a comment on a blog. I don’t even understand why my comments keep going into moderation.

  • Mademoiselle

    Yea. It’s frustrating. ESPECIALLY if it turns out the comment mysteriously got dropped.

  • Mademoiselle

    There was one point where it looked like they were testing out a “your comment has been sent to moderation” screen, but I only saw it once. And of course they never send you a “we’re not posting this” reply. So usually I just figure if it doesn’t post the same day it either got denied or the comments are getting ready to be shut down.

  • thetruth

    Once again, the greatness of the Mighty White Man has been reaffirmed on a black website for the thousandth time.

    All is right with the world.

  • alldawg

    Black men dont care, so stop with the acception swallowing the rule. I dont see BM dressed like NOI members knocking on doors looking for BW/WM relationships.
    Show me a pic, of a bm stopping a wm/bw wedding when the pastor ask, “is there anyone opposed to this union”…Not one BM will ever throw himself in front of a train to stop a bw seeking ir relationships…

    Name one movie, that BM tried to boycott because there were no bm in it as the love interest….You dont have to answer because there is not one…

  • http://trolololol.com jump the brooklyn bridge

    So like, get some of my buddies together and beat up the Brooklyn bridge? Should I get them together with some blow torches and cut it’s suspension and sink that hoe?

  • http://trolololol.com jump the brooklyn bridge

    So like, get some of my buddies together and beat up the Brooklyn bridge? Should I get them together with some blow torches and cut it’s suspension and sink that hoe?

  • http://gravatar.com/codygman codygman

    So is mine.

  • http://gravatar.com/codygman codygman

    I bet a statistical analysis of the lyrics of the top 40 right now would show that “white girl” is very prevalent.

  • http://gravatar.com/codygman codygman

    Because they’re swervin’.

  • http://gravatar.com/codygman codygman

    Ignorance sadly has a lot to do with things, such as your comments.

  • Pink Lipstick

    Thank you for saying this. Who I date is nobody’s business.

  • Concerned

    Why have you absolved black men of any wrong doing in this debacle called “gender war”? Where is black men’s accountability in this mess? Is that how you see it, black women started and perpetuated this problem? Because if you are insinuating that you are sadly mistaken.

  • Concerned

    Sargewp, don’t you ever get tired of coming on this site? LEAVE BLACK WOMEN ALONE, you’re becoming too obsessed.

  • Curvacious

    Perspective aka Sargewp

    I can spot your catch phrases from a mile away, why don’t you LEAVE BLACK WOMEN ALONE! You have become to obsessive for someone who doesn’t take a liking to us.

  • PAT

    After decades of c-rap music calling Black women the most vile, racist, sexist names,not to mention how some Black men treat and speak about Black women in day to day life, there are some people who still think Black women should still love and be loyal(the arrogance and assh***ness of this is mindboggling)to Black men.Theres been decades of this and some of the ones not making the *music* are singing along and practicing the sentiments in this *music, or they are very quiet about it and yet it is Black women accused of hating and not being loyal to the black man.Imagine what Black men, Al sharpton, the NAACP, etc would have done if Black women have been spewing such hate and propaganda towards Black men in front of the world and yet these people still demand that Black women are still suppose to love and be loyal to Black men and some BLACK WOMEN(pathetic ones)GO ALONG WITH THIS!

    I am sick to death of Eve and other Black women like this(esp. the ones who have to mention on every article like this that they will never be with a non Black man.Who gives a F***? Are these men crying?Im sure they will be ok even if some of you Black women wont give it up) who have to qualify and explain and excuse away their lives to others. Everyone in the world is living their lives and saying and doing what they want and its ONLY BLACK WOMEN who have to explain and qualify(i.e. I love Black men but, etc etc). Are you Black women WOMEN?FREE WOMEN? or scared little girls?

    F.Y.I. Black men marry out more than any others, esp. educated and well to do ones;And thats not counting the ones just shacking up with non Black women.(do your own research i.e. google it). Black women, do not let others bamboozle and confuse you.I know what I see and experience and SO DO YOU ALL.Live your lives for YOU! and that includes being with whomever you want, living where you want, being apart of whatever community you want to, and loving and being loyal to people who show you love and loyalty….

    Ask yourselves if you are happy, safe and feel affirmed in your *communities* (well most of the time). As for me, when I finish my degree I am OUT! I will take my chances OUT THERE!

    I know some of you Strong loyal Black women, are opposed to BWE blogs(some of you have never even read them and the different topics they talk about—hey- your choice) but for others…*Beyond Black and white* has this great article up about FREE undergrad,masters, phd programs in Europe and Asia, if anyone is interested in studying abroad. This info is free for everyone(including black men).

    Good luck to everyone.

  • ‘Drea

    AMEN to that!!
    Life is about finding your happiness, not finding yourself stuck with other people’s expectations of what your happiness is supposed to look like.

  • Tommy

    I hear Eve’s pregnant. Are black women going to go from being baby mammas for one group of men to another?

  • mr.vicious

    BBW is no better than stromfront in it views of bm, this the same website that piggy backs off of other websites. So if your into bashing bm as your ticket to ir dating, then that is the website for you. It is even heavily censored to opposing views other than its own. If your a BM you’ll leave that site jadded if take anything they say serious over there.

    But I digress, eve has an album coming out. Im not sure how it will do, her core audience might not be feeling her new found life with a WM in which she dropped the pitbull in a skirt attitude real fast. But more power to her, if it sells well good for her. If it doset oh well, nothing new under the sun.

  • mr.vicious

    This comment is beyond belief. The majority of men who ask BW to marry them are BM, so how is it that BM are running a smear campaign and at the same time marrying BW more than any race of men on the planet for hundreds of years.

    IR is a personal choice, all her ex-lovers who are black, arent crying one tear, with the amount of other BW to choose from. Remember the notion that BW have to date out because of the ratio of BW to BM. And the smallest segment of ir pairs are BW with any race, its been a steady 9 to 10% for quite sometime now.

    So if eve dates out, oh well, millions more where she came from. For every one Desmond Hacthet, there are 11 bw that he can sleep with. If 10% of that leaves, he still has 9.9 willing to see him, in some kind of way.

  • mr.vicious

    Stop complaining, it wasnt a problem when it was being used against those with opposing views other than yours.
    So just sit and wait like everybody else in line…

  • http://gravatar.com/mimiandy1683 MimiLuvs

    But I do believe that some of the characters that come onto this website masquerade themselves as multiple people, so their opinions can clog up the commentators’ board. I wish Clutch would treat this website as if this was a party taken place in their homes (because we all know that we are not going to allow any of our guests to act like a fool in our homes) rather than entertain the “right to free speech” amendment, because they don’t want to look like a couple of punks who cannot handle a few loons’ rants being posted on their website.
    IMO, slowly but surely, the site is losing it’s main objective. If I wanted to hear the dumb sh*t, I would head on over to MM or Media Takeout.

  • Ask_ME

    Denial is not a good look. As I told Perspective just use Google…it’s all there in black and white (no pun intended). It doesn’t take the “white media” for these women to see/hear the nonsense…they can here it from the mouths of black men on this site and others.

  • Ask_ME

    @Perspective

    Take a look at your comment and tell me again “black men don’t care.” You sit around desperately trying to analyze and find a reason why black women/white men’s relationships last longer than most others….yet you don’t care?!?

    Here is the reason those relationships last longer: It takes two and those two LEARN to love, respect and appreciate each other. It’s not simply the black woman won’t let the white man go. If he wants to leave there is nothing she can do to stop him. Instead it’s a situation where two people find common ground and make it work! It’s that simple.

    And seeing as how these relationships are lasting longer than even BM/BW relationships I would venture to say YES, perhaps the white men and black women who find themselves in these relationships ARE more compatible with each other than those WM/WW and BM/BW couplings.

    Yes they probably are more genuine and natural. MAN is the natural mate of WOMAN….there is no race attached to that.

    In this day and age RACE is NOT enough to keep two people together. A lot people out here don’t “wince” or feel the “innate” feeling with people simply based on race. MOST OF US NEED MORE.

  • K. Michel

    “I am sick to death of Eve and other Black women like this(esp. the ones who have to mention on every article like this that they will never be with a non Black man.Who gives a F***? Are these men crying?Im sure they will be ok even if some of you Black women wont give it up) who have to qualify and explain and excuse away their lives to others. Everyone in the world is living their lives and saying and doing what they want and its ONLY BLACK WOMEN who have to explain and qualify(i.e. I love Black men but, etc etc). Are you Black women WOMEN?FREE WOMEN? or scared little girls?” (PAT)

    What if this is who Eve is? What if she is someone who has love for Black men in general and found love with the dude from the article (who happens to be White)? Is she not entitled to say as much, especially when she isn’t defaming groups of men based on their racial background in order to do so?

    Or are the only “free Black women”, the women who hold your exact views?

  • EST. 1986

    Black men leave out-of-wedlock children with every ‘group’.

  • http://U Yep

    Why even waste your time explaining yourself to retards. Everyone knows that black women are the only ones that will for ever shit on their own men. Regardless. F the black community.

  • Pseudonym

    Honestly, the baby momma epidemic is spreading through women from a lot of backgrounds in the US these days. Have you not noticed the growing number of white women in Hollywood who have babies with their boyfriends on the white male actors who will have babies with their girlfriends?

    Interestingly, I can totally pinpoint exactly when this phenomenon started. During the final season of “Friends,” Rachel (one of the main characters) became pregnant and didn’t know who the father was (I think it was between Ross and Joey, one her ex-boyfriend/friend and the other her friend). I swear to goodness, after the airing of that season, there was an explosion of white baby mommas in Hollywood.

    Not to throw shade, Tommy, but along with this baby momma boom, I just hope there isn’t a follow-up absentee father epidemic like the one that plagues the black community.

  • Pseudonym

    Race is a subjective social construct that misses its intended mark. What “race” is really trying to get at (and is failing) is CULTURE and part of that culture is also how you are perceived by others. If you have a non-black ancestor, never meet them, never practice customs from their culture, grow up around all black people, are viewed by others as a black person, there is no culture or experiential difference between you and another black person. (I consider black American culture to be one of its own.) However, if you do, then there is actually a difference between your experience and the average black American experience. Or, if you look/are Chinese and are adopted by two white parents and live in an all-white neighborhood, you are probably treated like a Chinese person and form your Chinese identity from those interactions with other people.

    Perhaps you have to experience this personally (as I do) to understand the difference.

    If we were all blind, we would not be able to tell the difference b/w different races of people- our interpretations would be all culturally-based, which would make more sense. There are Indians who look like Africans, Latinos who look like Indians, etc. so to judge simply by physical appearance based off your biased- and often incomplete- knowledge of what different groups of people “look like” (which is what race does) is faulty.

    Example: I went to a university with a very small black population and we all would say “Hi!” to each other on campus and the running joke was about how we’d see a black person, say “Hey, wussup!” and then realize when they walked by that it was actually an Indian person. (I’m sure someone’s thought, “Man! Black people here are so friendly!” hahaha) Anywhoo, point is having a relative (or in many cases, RUMORS of a relative) who is non-black is very unlikely to create a “mixed race” experience, so to blow off the unique experiences of some biracial people with the quip, “All black people are mixed anyway,” is extremely short-sighted.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    I understand what you are saying, I’m just saying that you are mischaracterizing race. Race is indeed a social construct, but that doesn’t mean that it is an attempt to categorize things of a social nature. What you are describing is ethnicity, not race. Race is a socially constructed method of biologically categorizing races. It does miss the mark on this because there is no consistent way to categorize something that is continuously evolving and mixing and it is impossible to categorize such large populations that contain a ton of variance. For example, if you categorize black people as the population with dark skin, thereby essentializing dark skin as a characteristic of that population, you are being both overinclusive and underinclusive. There are many within that population that don’t have dark skin along with people of other “races” that have dark skin.

    There is no widely accepted conception of race that is dependent on culture for classification. Practicing customs is simply not a factor in racial classification. Being treated as a black person within the context of this country has more to do with how blackness has historically been defined in this country. Also, given the fact that the vast majority of black Americans are, in fact, thoroughly mixed, means that saying someone will be treated as a black person, as opposed to being treated as a mixed person, doesn’t hold much significance. Being mixed is implicit with being a black American and is a part of our history and experience.

    The inability to distinguish visually between the races is part of the problem with the lack of having a generalizable population, not an indicator that race is really ethnicity. If we were all blind, we would still be able to distinguish and categorize to some extent, but that’s a moot point. Race isn’t ethnicity and I agree that the use of race is problematic.

    What we are really talking about is the concept of being mixed race. Being of mixed race is based on having ancestors of multiple races. There is no ethnic component to the concept. It has nothing to do with culture, who raised you, or anything involving who you have met or know. If you have ancestors that are white and others that are black, then you are mixed. You can try and quantify the degree of mixture and that can be done a variety of different ways. I have seen estimates that the average black American has about 20% European admixture. We are a mixed race population. It becomes non-sensical to try and further subdivide mixed people into the groups that had some relationship with their ancestors and those that don’t. Surely, you can make up whatever classification scheme you want, but it will be even more arbitrary and inconsistent than race already is, with the added benefit of being completely divorced from common usage of the terms race and mixed race. The way you are using the terms doesn’t jive with reality or common usage. It will just have to be your own personal conception of race and ethnicity that you can use with your friends and others that you converse with that similarly are not aware of the currently used definitions of these terms.

    If you google the term, you can get an idea of common usage. See if you can find a used definition that doesn’t equate to:

    The terms multiracial and mixed-race describe people or groups of people whose ancestries come from multiple races.

  • Pink Lipstick

    I love how ppl like to leave snide remarks without doing their research. -___-

  • Pink Lipstick

    co-sign!

  • Pink Lipstick

    @alldawg

    You do care. That is why you are trolling this website marketed towards black women to prove that you don’t. I don’t understand why some black men are so uncomfortable with the notion that black women have options outside of the black male dating pool. Dating and marriage shouldn’t be about race. It should be about love and acceptance.

  • Pink Lipstick

    “But black men dating outside the race has to be associated with him having some complex?”

    I just want to start off by saying that I do not have an issue with interracial dating. I think black people should be free to date whomever they choose. Having said that, women say that black men have a complex when they date outside of their race because of the reasons they provide for dating these women. If you provide reasons that denigrate black women, then you have a complex. If you provide reasons such as compatibility, love, physical attraction, and reciprocity, then not too many women will be able to confront you for having an complex. A black man dating a non-black woman should have nothing to do with black women. Personally, I support black men with complexes dating interracially. Dating a black man who found me utterly repulsive because of my blackness would be emotionally taxing.

  • pat

    @Kmichel
    FREE WOMEN*….as in Black women living their lives with whomever they want to , wherever they want to and not having to explain or justify THEIR LIVES to ANYONE….like every other group of people in this world….but no! because most Black women are afraid,IMO, of Black men and it seems even their own shadows. What I hear from alot of Black women are the utterings of scared low self esteem women and again IMO, its from living in Black communities where the majority get no affirmation of their worth…in fact they get told in so many different ways that they are worht nothing.This is what I see.

  • pat

    That is your opinion…everyone has one….but since you know of them I BET you cannot refute ALOT, of the points they make pertaining to the lives of some Black women and their relationships with Black men.I also notice the only objection you had to my comment was about black men and BWE and THEIR SOCALLED PROTRAYAL….but you didnt comment on anything else I said…WHY?Is it the truth….

  • Eme

    Sigh

    I congratulate her on her happiness in finding love. She is a better woman then I will ever be when it comes to things like this.

    If I ended up with a WM, I would probably be just as bewildered as she is :).

    I guess that I don’t have the patience for that learning process that she mentions in the article i.e. “Weave 101″. That you could co-exist for hundreds of years with another race of people and not know jacksh*t about them is privilege to the nth degree.

    While I agree that people should not pass judgement on others who choose to date interracially, I wouldn’t wholly dismiss anyone’s reservations to the idea of IR dating, specifically with WM/WW. The cloud of privilege that surrounds even the nicest white person would choke me to death. Unlike Eve, I am not as willing to educate them about the basic tenets of my humanity. This sentiment extends to any other race that isn’t black. I try to educate myself as much as possible about the experiences of people who aren’t like me and I don’t think it is unreasonable to expect other races to do the same.

    Funny how we still consider IR dating to be between white and black. Every time the topic comes up, there are always women who come out and say how great and meaningful their relationships with white men or women have been/is, that they happened to have fallen in love with a white person, patting others on the pack who have done the same, etc. Black women/men who have dated/married other races are largely silent on this issue, nor are they even considered. Is it that we see interracial dating strictly as a union between privileged/marginalized?

    If this is the case, then relationships between individuals of different marginalized groups aren’t really considered to be IR. Therefore they aren’t as worthy of discussion, even though they come with their own unique baggage. I find this very disturbing.

    Thumbs down me all you want, but I really hate the self-congratulatory tone that often accompanies these “I found love with de white man” articles, while flat out ignoring other types of IR relationships.

  • Perspective

    Frankly, I’m done with the conversation. I see that it’s just better to say nothing.

    “OH WHY ARE YOU WITH THAT WHITE, HISPANIC, OR ASIAN GIRL?”

    Don’t even reply because you will only be accused to BLACK WOMAN BASHING – if you so much as bring up it having ANYTHING to do with black women’s cultural attitude, matriarchal ways, the men they choose and then SHOW UP AFTER THE FACT (a baby or some weight) with the same bad attitude they had before.

    I’m tired of sistas acting like black men are making this up. As if we just came out the womb of our own black mothers and just one day said – WE HATE BLACK WOMEN.

    The shock to us is that all that MANGINA SIMPIN stuff our mothers taught us was just totally false – and the women embraced that ish to the point that black women are completely unaccountable and you can’t address them on anything.

    As far as I’m concerned if WHITE MEN want you they can have you, but I already know the real deal with that – I need to keep my mouth shut on that one too – because I’ll only be accused of CARING that black women are hopping the fence or that I’m somehow trying to prevent black women from their happiness with other races of men.

    Like I said – THERE HAS NEVER BEEN ANY BLOCKADE OF BLACK MEN PREVENTING BLACK WOMEN FROM GOING ANYWHERE.

    We are WEAK BLACK MEN – remember?

    Personally, I just wish brothas would just put up a wall of silence and not explain anything to you all because us saying anything only further drives black women to say we are AND HAVE BEEN bashing you all.

    If brothas take that advice the only black women will be able to do is speculate.

    “Oh they are over there because they prefer lighter skin”

    “Oh they are over there because they are self hating”

    “Oh they abandon the black woman… bla bla bla”

    I don’t care. If that’s what you think it’s all about, well then there is no point in me saying anything else to you all about the real problems because you will simply jump up and say. WELL THAT AIN’T IT.

  • Tommy

    Interracial marriages. Asian and hispanic men 41% black british men 50% American black men 22%.

  • Tommy

    Yeah, ok. I wonder why you don’t reply on all of these white men “loves us” comments. lol

  • mr.vicious

    It take two for a baby to be conceived, but it takes one to give birth. It her choice to be a out-of-wedlock mother.
    So its her choice to make man a father, based on my body my choice.

  • mr.vicious

    @ pink

    I dont care but that dosent mean I dont have an opinion. The one power that BM have, and women like you want to silence, is a BM with an opinion.

    If you say one thing that is fundamentally flawed and spread it as truth. Yes, I’ll saying something. Why should I not.

    IE..If a BW/WM got married, I will never get up and say, no they should get married.

    What your doing is interjecting square emotions into a round hole. It doesnt fit, argue the point, leave emotions off the table.

  • Perspective

    “F.Y.I. Black men marry out more than any others, esp. educated and well to do ones;And thats not counting the ones just shacking up with non Black women.(do your own research i.e. google it). Black women, do not let others bamboozle and confuse you.I know what I see and experience and SO DO YOU ALL.Live your lives for YOU! and that includes being with whomever you want, living where you want, being apart of whatever community you want to, and loving and being loyal to people who show you love and loyalty….”

    The problem with black women’s logic and reasoning skills.

    They take a small number of black men marrying and dating outside the race as reason why they should ignore the 90% of black men focus on the 10% and date out the race themselves…

    Also – I notice they never give credence to why there are a growing number of black men expressing discontent with black women. According to them its all things they have no control over.

    Adhering to and promoting a matriarchal structure that has been devastating to the black community has nothing to do with it.
    Let them tell it, its all about light skin and long hair.

    The WELL EDUCATED MEN – did not get themselves together to be added to a woman’s program nor give a black woman control over what he is ultimately responsible for. That doesn’t even make sense.

    If black women feel that they should be the ones in control and in charge of the community then why aren’t black women creating economic opportunities in the community? They are simply working for white folks.

    There is no place for an educated or successful black man to lay down a foundation with black women. The urban black community is matriarchal, BW DON’T want to get with a MAN’S program – they want to add BM to theirs. Living in a white suburb is not a place controlled by black men which opens up the door for BW to disrespect those BM who can afford them a lifestyle that they can apparently afford for themselves.

    No individual black man is going to be able to make up for the fact that there is not BLACK MALE POWER STRUCTURE anywhere he goes full of legitimate black men.

    Truth is black women don’t want this structure to be created because they don’t want to see black men with that much control and TELL THEM WHAT TO DO – ON HIS SHIP. They will avoid these black men, unless of course he SIMPS OUT and allows her to control what he has built, which is what black women expect.

    All this doesn’t give any intelligent black man many options other than to HOP the fence, where things aren’t perfect, there are many obstacles, but he can minimally fulfill the role of MAN and have control over his domain that HE WILL ALWAYS BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR.

  • mr.vicious

    Some of the best love songs written by black men are about bw, what the poster point was that went way over your head, is where is the reciprocity from WM specifically toward BW specifically.
    How about 90% of BM marrying BW, dose that answer your question, its been said so many times, but stats like that are ignored, cause it makes your views about bm watered downed.

  • Perspective

    “If you provide reasons such as compatibility, love, physical attraction, and reciprocity, then not too many women will be able to confront you for having an complex. A black man dating a non-black woman should have nothing to do with black women.”

    In most cases a black man dating outside his race DOESN’T have anything to do with black women, but when asked about why a black men GENERALLY prefers other races of women it has a great deal to do with the culture.

    Its like asking, why do you prefer Honda to Chevy. They are both cars, – but they have differences.

    Black women refuse to accept the fact that they are culturally different than other races of women. Black women grow up in a hostile environment other races of women tend not to.

    As a result general states can be made.

    The question then goes to well is it black women’s fault that they grow up in a hostile environment. At the surface level, I’d say no. Digging deeper I can definitely mark how black women CONTRIBUTE significantly to the problem where NOT they keep the whole thing going.

    Example – A man doesn’t need money to be with me it’s all about love and how he treats me

    Week later: This brothas broke and can’t do anything for me

    Month later: The black man is weak and isn’t strong enough collectively to go up against white supremacy

    Year later: I don’t want any man to control me.

    Dummy – the same man who’s not in the POSITION to control you (not that that is the objective) but it’s about being in the POSITION TO DO SO – is the same type of man who is not in the position to go up against white supremacy.

    Stuff like that.

    The bottom line is that black women are generally matriarchal, they don’t believe in male leadership only male responsibility, want to be in control, are unaccountable and blameless, have nasty attitudes, disproportionately overweight – which has to do with the “weak black men” who haven’t created opportunities in the community to create an environment of prosperity where black women wouldn’t be overweight – which goes back to my above statements about how WEAK MEN ARE PRODUCED.

    Oh yea… Its messed up. Men move in the direction of least resistance and that least resistance is TYPICALLY with other races of women, so YES – black men LEANING more towards other races of women has everything to do with black women because a black woman SHOULD be (as in all other groups) a black man’s first choice, but when the choice has ISSUES – it no longer is placed on the table as an option.

  • Perspective

    @ Ask me

    Frankly, I’m done with the conversation. I see that it’s just better to say nothing. “OH WHY ARE YOU WITH THAT WHITE, HISPANIC, OR ASIAN GIRL?” Don’t even reply because you will only be accused of BLACK WOMAN BASHING – if you so much as bring up it having ANYTHING to do with black women’s cultural attitude, matriarchal ways, the men they choose and then SHOW UP AFTER THE FACT (a baby or some weight) with the same bad attitude they had before, you are BASHING. I’m tired of sistas acting like black men are making this up, as if we just came out the womb of our own black mothers and just one day said – WE HATE BLACK WOMEN. The shock to us is that all that MANGINA SIMPIN stuff our mothers taught us was totally false – and the women embraced that shit to the point that black women are completely unaccountable and you can’t address them on anything. As far as I’m concerned if WHITE MEN want you they can have you, but I already know the real deal with that – I need to keep my mouth shut on that one too – because I’ll only be accused of ‘CARING that black women are hopping the fence’ or that ‘I’m somehow trying to prevent black women from their happiness with other races of men.’ Like I said – THERE HAS NEVER BEEN ANY BLOCKADE OF BLACK MEN PREVENTING BLACK WOMEN FROM GOING ANYWHERE. We are WEAK BLACK MEN – remember? Personally, I just wish brothas would just put up A WALL OF SILENCE and not explain anything to you all, because us saying anything, only further drives black women to say that we are AND HAVE BEEN bashing you all. If brothas take that advice the only thing black women will be able to do is speculate.
    “Oh they are over there because they prefer lighter skin”
    “Oh they are over there because they are self hating”
    “Oh they abandon the black woman… bla bla bla”
    I don’t care. If that’s what you think it’s all about, well then, there is no point in me saying anything else to you all about the real problems because you will simply jump up and say, “WELL THAT AIN’T IT.”

  • Ask Me

    Nope that didnt go over my head. Those black men wrote those songs with a certain black woman in mind…most often it wasnt about all black women. Some woman inspired the song. She is an individual not a group.

  • Kitty

    Another disgruntal BM who tries to explain why BW should be content with being called booty shakin hoes in NINETY PER CENT of rap hip hop BM videos videos (a.k.a the so-called “economic opportunities” BM are creating LOL!). Brotha please, go make yourself feel better chasing a blonde bimbo if you don’t get lynched trying. Stop trying to make BW feel like they owe you something. We owe you NOTHING, no you, not anyone else. Get over yourself, you are a man in a man’s world, if you’re still at the bottom its because you’re acting like you belong there, like your post clearly shows. You are right there with the crackers trashing us (go on an try to tell me how “ho” is a term of endearment, fool). And then you have the nerve to expect BW to be thankful for it. Talk about respect when you you “brothas” show smart ph.d holding black women in your “economic-opportunity” videos. No self respecting BW needs you and your chip on the shoulder “perspective” ha haha!

    Proud to be the type of BW who upsets you cuz you’re the type of BM that the worlds needs less of!

  • http://www.lifestylebyky.com Kydee

    totally happy for her…love.

  • [email protected]

    Very happy for you. I’m also married to a white dude so to speak, been together for nearly 10 years and I am very happy. The majority of Black dude are basically… Whatless! good for nothing idiots. Black dude need a lesson in so called relationships.

  • Stop

    She’s too pretty for him. *sigh

  • Okay

    Sgt Willie Pete? Is that you?

  • Pseudonym

    “I just wish brothas would just put up A WALL OF SILENCE and not explain anything to you all…”

    Why don’t you start that wall?

  • stellaxo

    its ‘her choice’ to be an out of wedlock mother? as far as i’m concerned, it takes two to get married..
    your point is that because it ‘takes one to give birth’ black women should simply resort to abortions to avoid the label of being a baby momma?
    don’t imply that a woman getting an abortion is a sign of strength and wisdom..
    *sigh* i dont even know why im replying to you..

  • stellaxo

    @mr vicious,
    its okay to have an opinion, but spending your time (formulating it, coming up with examples) and energy to make your voice heard means that
    ahem.
    you do care.

    i wouldn’t interject during a bm/ww marriage either; the fact that you continue to reiterate this hints that you might have some underlying issues.

    nobody is trying to silence your opinion (why are you getting so defensive? [unfortunately,] your posts are still on this comment board!)

    and we must live in very different places, bc i hardly do see bm/bw or bw/wm relationships around here. very, very much the opposite. i would delve into the general stereotype (many are more similar than even i would think); but i think its unnecessary here. :)

  • Ask_ME

    Word! This wall of silence needs to start immediately so he will STFU and STOP VISITING A SITE CATERED TOWARD BLACK WOMEN.

  • Sabrina Thompson

    All that matters is that she is happy.

  • http://www.hellomoe.com HelloMoeMoe

    I actually wrote a blog post about black women & interracial dating.. And my feelings match hers to a T. ‘This is who I just happen to be with right now.’

    As a long time fan, I’m glad she’s happy….regardless of who she’s with.

  • Jessica

    WHO CARES!?

    Love who you want.

    Go on and do something better with your life. Shoo.

  • http://baucemag.com/ baucemag

    The Dos and Don’ts of Interracial Dating

    http://baucemag.com/?p=6056

  • Kitty

    God apparently promised Perspective that nice obedient women (of any race) would be found at all corners of the world.

    Then he made the world ROUND and laughed and laughed and laughed at Perspective (as the rest of us do).

    Yes please Perspective, put your wall of silence up and barricade yourself and your delusions of reality. Nobody cares to see or hear that – take your pity party behind your wall and play the pretend life of a so called “King Black man” who can only value himself by his possessions and too vulgar and selfish to see that he couldn’t have accomplished anything if he hadn’t trampled Black women to get there. I feel truly sad for you and your delusions of what women should be. You think Black women are too aggressive and tough? Riiiiight, because heaven knows White women “never” complain or “talk back”. White women never care about making their own money and “earning their way”, White women “always let the man wear the pants”…. You have some serious DELUSIONS about what you think you “deserve” for a woman in fact you have big delusions of women of ALL races (you must be a virgin or on the QT). Its the only logical reason why you are so disgruntal. Look how about you step outside your ghetto and hoochie videos and have a look at REALITY.

  • cassandra

    eve you look very happy good luck and if good to you be good to him lol

  • Pink Lipstick

    “I dont care but that dosent mean I dont have an opinion. The one power that BM have, and women like you want to silence, is a BM with an opinion.”

    I don’t see the point in trying to point out the fact that you do not care about something. For example, I do not care about the opinions of men who like to bash black women. Therefore, I do not frequent websites where those types of opinions are expressed. In fact, I can’t even name one of those websites. Why? Because I don’t care.

  • Perspective

    Can’t believe this thread is still going.

  • Perspective

    This has got to be the most asinine comment I’ve seen on here.

    1) You take the small demographic of rappers and apply it to all OTHER black men

    2) You ignore the fact that these men are raised mostly by single black women

    3) You ignore the fact that black women have not BOYCOTTED or stopped running to the dance floor when these so called disrespectful songs come on.

    Last time I checked black women were in the front row at Lil Wayne concerts and NO ONE was forcing them to be booty shaking hoes in videos.

    Check out the Bust It Baby Tryouts

  • Perspective

    “Get over yourself, you are a man in a man’s world, if you’re still at the bottom its because you’re acting like you belong there, like your post clearly shows.”

    Furthermore – You forget to throw in – “WHITE” – meaning a WHITE MAN’S WORLD.

    I really don’t know where black women get this notion that they’re going to teach there sons to be a bunch of non-combatant pansies that black WOMEN CAN CONTROL nor have to worry about BEING CONTROLLED BY are some how going to suddenly have this epiphany of manhood one day and simply GO INTO AUTO PILOT – and defend the black community (without all that patriarchal associated OPPRESSION) of course – rear up and challenge other races of men (WHO FRANKLY DON’T PLAY THAT ISH NOR PLAY FAIR) and smite them. Then in conclusion once the white threat has been defeated engage in a system of TOTAL equality with their women when it is the MEN ALONE who are expected to dispense all threats to the community.

    With the mess that black women are on – frankly the black community not only WILL – but can implode right now for all I care. The black woman is not to be reasoned with. Some of you can’t seem to comprehend how the world works. You are like children who get POWER – or the ILLUSION OF IT – and don’t even know what to do with the marginal amount of power that YOU DO HAVE.

    For further evidence of this – I direct you to your very matriarchal single mothered nearest BLACK COMMUNITY.

  • Perspective

    “Riiiiight, because heaven knows White women “never” complain or “talk back”. White women never care about making their own money and “earning their way”, White women “always let the man wear the pants”….”

    Sure there are grievances that white women had with white men. Grievances that the black woman should have never thought were relatable to the black men when the black man has never been in that sort of position at the collective level in order to enact the type of so called “sexism” that white men pose against black women.

    If you payed attention you’d realize that the white woman has overall very cleverly stepped out of the area of spearheading feminism and allow the BLACK WOMAN to be her replacement to the black woman’s detriment of her own community. Black women spearhead the feminist assault, some glass ceilings are made – and the white woman ungraciously steps over the black woman’s broken, single, unappreciated, and unvalued body.

    White women are not about to throw away the BENEFITS of having a patriarchal structure at the collective level. Some of them like Feminist Kate Bolick and Mary K Hymowitz are looking at the black community as canaries in the coal mine – realizing how a community will deteriorate when FEMINISM is run to the extreme of a matriarchy.

    You end up with unproductive males, high rates of single motherhood, men who see no value in their women because they are not building to pass anything on, and there is no POSITIVE male identity to be associated with BEING A MAN other than the one that women paint for you which is responsibility without control or leadership of what YOU, as a man are ultimately responsible for.

    With that structure men simply say – F IT!

  • Perspective

    glass ceilings broken – not made

  • pat

    @Perspective/Perspiration/Sarge Willie Pete/whatever the hell your name is:

    Women, unfortunately AWAYS participate in their own degradation and dehumanization…BUT NOT ALL OF US! NEVER bought a C-RAP cd or downloaded any of that crap nor danced in some rap video and I know other Black women who havent either. No doubt these Black women who participate think they are being Black and proud supporting the brothers and ALMOST NOTHING in the *black community* affirms and tell them differently and seemingly their parents do not either…..

    AS for me, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE BLACK MEN FOR HIP HOP/C-RAP MUSIC. It is straightup HATE and PROPAGANDA against BLACK WOMEN! Again, if it was Black women spewing this garbage against Black men for DECADES, WHAT WOULD YOU BLACK MEN HAVE DONE!? And dont give me that garbage about a small number of Black men….this*music* is what most Black men I have encountered listen to and the rest practice those sentiments in the music towards Black women and the so called *good black men, young and old are mostly silent.

  • Jeff

    I find the responses to Eve incredible…. black women selling out! And her pecularity when looking at her bf and going “so white!”…. it’s bizarre. Just look at asian women…. they seem to have taken being with white men in their stride – no one bitches about that.

    As for black women selling out…. yeah, because black men never pair off with other races. What are the women supposed to do, wait or get sloppy seconds?

  • mr.vicious

    Women, unfortunately AWAYS participate in their own degradation and dehumanization…BUT NOT ALL OF US!

    AS for me, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE BLACK MEN FOR HIP HOP/C-RAP MUSIC. It is straightup HATE and PROPAGANDA against BLACK WOMEN

    Why should BM take you serious if you cant see past your own hate/fear mongering against those of your own skin tone.

    Thats like me watching aliens, and expecting to see facehuggers all over the place. Your problem is you want to be praised by every song, every media driven outlet. I glad that God has given men, the freedom to do what men what.

    BW in question have control issues, if these women in question cant control, they want to destroy it, simply due to her vainity…

    what most Black men I have encountered listen to and the rest practice those sentiments in the music towards Black women and the so called *good black men, young and old are mostly silent….And white men and white women and mexican men and asian men etc…and your point is…?

    BW also are the ones screaming and yelling and fighting over these same men, but you want the good black men to say something when its the women who are giving him sex, money, respect over the good black men.

    Action speaks louder than words, sex sends a louder message than 100 black men of atlanta can. So take a closer look at those women you protect, they are the ones leading the dogs to your doorstep, not the good bm…

  • Pingback: Is Eve Pregnant by Her British Boyfriend Maximillion Cooper? - getmybuzzup

  • Ms. Write

    I was with her until she said “I tell him, ‘Look like a pimp, I will dance around you.’” *Side eye. Judging by the unbelievably high number of comments on yet another interracial dating article, I’m starting to think people have a fetish. Just saying….

  • Ms. Write

    Am I the only one who found “Eve has heard it all from claims that she has turned her back on black men to the theory that she’s “sold out” since her stripper and Ruff Ryders days” hilarious?

  • Tabatha

    Good for her, more black women need to go white

  • pat

    @mrvicious

    Reading comprehension is not your strong suit…or you are playing the fool…i.e. you know exactly what I mean and as usual some black men play the fool but if its an issue that concerns the black man he comprehends very quickly…anyway I WAS SPEAKING TO BLACK WOMEN!!

  • mr.vicious

    I agree, BW need to catch up with everybody else in terms or ir, including BM.

  • WhatIThink

    No sane black person should be telling any other black person that they SHOULD be dating non black people. It is self hate and basically goes against common sense and logic. And that is something that is definitely being pushed in the media to black folks and black folks only.

    Show men any website, forum or magazine telling whites they need to have interracial relationships.There are none. But there are plenty that will say that whites should avoid interracial relationships (especially blacks). Show me any website, forum or magazine saying that Asians need to have interracial relationships with blacks. There are none and again there are plenty that will say the opposite.

    But oh yes, leave it to the black folks who want to be in love with and love everybody (whether they really love them back) to sit up there and promote dating non black folks almost every chance they get. And only a clown would think that this is anything other than hilarious retarded behavior from folks who have not one ounce of self respect left. They want to look, be and identify with everything and everyone else other than their own people. It is truly sad and sick and has absolutely nothing to do with finding love because love starts with loving yourself first.

  • Velma

    “look like a pimp and I’ll dance around you”…..how immature is that?? Sadly, she has problems dating this guy, it’s obvious by her comments.

  • shorty

    Love has no color,most people are to afraid to go outside there race to explore and find love, because its going against the grain. I’m happy that she is happy and dont care what people say or think about her being with a white man. Its 2013 people stop being so closed minded its not the first or last interracial relationship.

  • Kitterpuss

    It is an experience for her. You can tell that she is getting acclaimated to that experience. Its been three years and something is goin right. Let her be her. People stop hating. I think when god sends someone your way, it is not you place to question it. This has not a damn thing to do with black or white.

  • ILL

    Agreed! Eve can go to hell with that BULLSHIT! I’m a black man and I will ALWAYS date BLACK women! WHY, because I love my PEOPLE! I’m not dating the offspring of the motherfuckers who systematically fuck over people. That’s what’s wrong with US. We tend to gloss over facts and history. The Arabs and Chinese don’t forget shit that happens to their people. That is why they are independent minded people. We still kiss our oppressors ass every chance we get. It is PLENTY of Good BLACK men that she could have dated in this country and she chose a white guy from London. Her actions promote self loathing in disguise. BTW, this has nothing to do with hating white people. I simply LOVE BLACK People. As far as Eve goes, It’s almost like dating the grandson of the man that raped your mother. They can have cause no sane black person should want her back!

  • NOitAll

    Yes, she does have a problem dating the guy. She as much as said so. But the point is to work through the misgivings, move forward, and learn new attitudes. That’s the only way any of us can overcome our racial indoctrination.

  • Ellis

    I have to agree. I have noticed on comments regarding interracial dating that Blacks are very accepting of IR. Yet, every other race is for the most part, not accepting of IR and do not promote it as they want to keep their race as “pure” as possible.

    It is interesting because you do not see financially and culturally successful people like Arabs, Indian, Whites, Chinese, Japanese etc. promoting or encouraging IR with any other ethnicity but their own. I may get thumbed down because of this but these racial groups are successful and strong partly because they value their racial heritage, which is natural.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    from my personal experiences, I have found that Asian communities value staying with their own AND taking white mates. They aren’t too big on mixing with other races they deem inferior (like us or Latinos), but they don’t seem to have much of an issue when their daughter brings home a white guy. I’d venture to say that in some Asian communities white is preferable. It’s seen as a step up. They seem to have a racial hierarchy with whites or themselves on the top and blacks at the bottom.

  • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100006971192433 Amy Taylor

    that’s good story . I love it .and i want to share you a interracial dating site ,www-blakcwhitepassion-com . you can find your story too.may you be successful !

  • http://hotmail Desiree

    Ok so y is it always a color issue i LOVE my Black men, but if My Black men dont treat ME right than on to the next one and he happens to be a good mexican man that treats me like the Queen i am. So my advise is this if your not feeding me, finacncing me nor F–king me than close your mouth u matter not. Fans are cool but stay in your lane be a fan.:)

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