Jada Pinkett-Smith is aware of the critics that frown up their noses at the way she raises her daughter, Willow. Willow cuts, dyes and styles her hair as she pleases, a fact that bothers many who feel girls shouldn’t have that much control over their appearance at such a young age.

Jada decided to address the criticism in a Facebook post:

“A letter to a friend…This subject is old but I have never answered it in its entirety. And even with this post it will remain incomplete. The question why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women, girls are constantly reminded that they don’t belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit and her mind are HER domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It’s also a statement that claims that even little girls have the RIGHT to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother’s deepest insecurities, hopes and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be.”

While you may or may not agree with her choice to give Willow sartorial freedom, Jada’s point about girls being a slave to their mother’s deepest insecurities rings true.

I’ve heard mothers who have struggled with weight loss say they’re going to make sure their daughters don’t gain any excess pounds. There are even mothers who always yearned for long hair who refuse to let their daughters cut their’s.

Of course, both mothers and fathers could be guilty of influencing their children based on their insecurities — and the influence is not all bad. But Jada may have made a case for letting children have some degree of authority over their own look and style.

What are your thoughts, Clutchettes? Do you agree with Jada?

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  • isolde3

    So, are we to insinuate from your screed that Jada does not have rules and boundaries in her home based on her daughter’s haircuts and skater punk look?

    • Ummmmm

      Jada has said just as much, she sees her kids as miniature adults not children and allow them to do as they see fit.

    • isolde3

      “Jada has said just as much, she sees her kids as miniature adults not children and allow them to do as they see fit.”

      @Ummmmmm . . . no

      I believe the quote from Jada was

      “I see my children as little PEOPLE, not necessarily people to control. You’ve got to help them develop and become individuals. You have to find out who they are but ENFORCE BOUNDARIES to keep them safe.”


      Willow Smith in W Magazine

      “I can’t do whatever I want,” she explains. “Mommy has to say it’s okay.”

      Read more: http://www.wmagazine.com/celebrities/2010/12/willow_smith#ixzz2DB2Aj9yC

      Aw Sis, you tried it tho . . .


    • Comeagain

      think that old school style of ‘I’m your parent and I’m greater than you’ doesn’t work. What I establish with my children is a partnership. I’m not necessarily dictating what is happening in their lives.

      Jada Pinkett

  • well i was having a splendid day till i read your ignorant comment, lol. Its so sad that you feel this way/

  • Rebellion is a glorious thing. We are looking for leaders, not stifled followers.

    Also you are a man. Your subject position is different. Jada is brilliant and correct. Women should learn that our bodies are our own ! And that lesson should start from a very young age.

  • Mademoiselle

    Willow’s hair doesn’t bother me, but is she also choosing her mom’s hairstyles? I’ve seen several pictures of Jada with teeny-bopper hairdos and can’t figure out why she’s wearing them.

    • isolde3


      No 1 curr about your warm blessings, especially when they’re succeeded by illogical gibberish. I find your concern trolling to be both incoherent and unnecessary, if you must know. Believe it or not, I’m trying my best to keep it cute with you because you really do seem ignorant of the wider implications of what you’re saying. Willow Smith is not dressed in a sexually provocative manner. Her face isn’t caked in make-up. So, at its core, it seems you have a problem with her style because she isn’t performing gender (long hair, head bands/hair bows/ barrettes, frilly dresses, bright colors, twin sets, etc.) in a manner sufficient to your liking. That’s precisely why Jada wrote this letter.

    • AM

      I think that you my friend several hugs!! I am here to give you ALL of them!

  • I love it!