Black Women’s Blogs: Where the Male Trolls Are

by Demetria L. Lucas

TrollsFor years now, I have wondered, “Why is he here?” He would be a male.  I can’t bring myself to call him a “man,” although biologically that would probably be the correct term. He* baffles me by showing up on websites and blogs geared toward women only to wonder why the conversation isn’t about men. He peruses posts about what women are thinking, the ones where the comments section numbers into the tens and hundreds, and then calls the issue “irrelevant” or dumb.”  He shows up to every conversation about Black relationships to remind Black women that Black men are not interested in them, somehow missing the irony that by reading and posting — always at length — his action contradicts his assertion.  No matter the issue, he absolutely always faults women in general or feminism at large.

If he posts early enough on Clutch, his comments are shielded from later viewers with a “hidden due to low rating,” the invariable result of the Sisters who got here first clicking the thumbs down button. But for the stragglers, the one who show up to a juicy post a day late (that’s me), his often off-color and vicious comments sit. I always read the rant and I always wonder mid-way, “boy, why are you here?”

I wanted an answer, truly, for years. But I’ve treated the musing like a rhetorical question. Someday it would be answered… better, someday, someone would ponder harder, do the work, and deliver the answer since I was interested enough to wonder, but too busy to really be concerned. And then a Clutch commenter suggested, “someone should write about why there are all these male trolls on women’s blogs.” And so I have.

I had my theories. Leading the list was a lot of men like having sex with women, but don’t really like women. But that seemed too simple. I wondered if berating women online was to get the same effect of doing it in the real world. Guy emotionally batters women because he insecure about self and must make woman feel inferior so he can feel strong and she will be docile. That kind of had merit.

My conspiracy theory went something like—if boy believes feminism is the downfall of mankind, and most women’s sites/blogs are perceived as having feminist leanings, then maybe he thinks women are on women’s sites plotting  to overthrow men. He might think “natural hair” is our code word for “machete.” Maybe his rabble-rousing in the comments can distract us (because, you know, women are like children) and thwart our agenda to take over Man, which, of course, would make him a hero among men. I swear, it’s not really as far-fetched as it sounds.

It still felt like I was missing something though, so I asked my guys — my Male Mind Squad, if you will — why they thought some boys were trolling women’s sites.

The first response gave the most obvious answer: “We live in a trolling world,” he explained matter-of-factly. “Anonymous posting has allowed anyone to be a cyber-terrorist, bully, or saboteur.”

One friend genuinely thought that maybe women were looking at it all wrong and the guys weren’t as bad as I made them out to be. “Men, generally, are solvers and when women have issues,” he guessed. “Some men believe a simple opinion will cure their issues and voila … problem solved.” Or er, started.

A couple of guys had outlooks I didn’t expect (but in retrospect, should have been obvious). “Men are perpetually trying to figure out the foreign specie that is the female human,” one gent hypothesized. “Once men discover the truth, they’re not willing to accept it and become combative toward it. Very similar to a woman asking her man if she looks fat in new jeans …”

Another guy confirmed a theory about these males: “They are there to prey upon any weak-minded women and portray themselves as ‘real men’,” he said. “They’re lost. They don’t understand the entirety of context and what it’s like to BE a woman.”

And yet another guy confirmed my leading suspicion. “On the low, a lot of dudes HATE women,” he said. “This is a vehicle for them to let out their anger bitterness, frustration and venom.”

Why do you think the males are here?

*The “he” I refer to isn’t any of the plethora of men who visit women’s sites and manage to contribute to the conversation meaningfully with their male POV. I get why they are here. Most of what society tends to think of as women’s issues don’t affect just one sex. And well, men who like women and want to get along with tem are genuinely interested in what we’re thinking and talking about. I find their input mostly helpful. Oh, and so the guys tell me there are ZERO forums for men to express themselves, “and probably won’t be,” said a guy friend. I assume all of the above is why men join in from time to time.

Demetria L. Lucas is the author of “A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life” (Atria) in stores now. Follow her on Twitter @abelleinbk

  • bob

    I comment when I see an article is one sided and bias. I argue from another rational perspective.

  • Kathy Henry

    Life is real simple but people make it more complicated than it has to be. For men who do not seem to get, this is a website for black women. If you do not like what you see, go elsewhere.

  • the original lol

    popcorn anyone?

  • LemonNLime

    “They’re lost. They don’t understand the entirety of context and what it’s like to BE a woman.”

    “Once men discover the truth, they’re not willing to accept it and become combative toward it.”

    “On the low, a lot of dudes HATE women…this is a vehicle for them to let out their anger bitterness, frustration and venom.”

    I think these 3 hit the nail on the head. Some of the men that come here and comment, I really appreciate and look forward to hearing from. For example Ravi always has a interesting and respectful pov even if one might not agree with it.

    But some of the males that come here are ridiculous and completely dismissive of women’s thoughts, opinions, and experiences on a WOMEN’S blog. Like the article where we talked about body image and some guy was like, “just stop putting value into physical beauty”. Thank God a MAN was here to solve all my problems and fix things all with a single comment! Please. With that one comment, he completely dismissed the issues, concerns, and experiences women brought up as valid in order to dole out “advice” that was neither asked for nor welcomed.

    It reminds me of when women bring up a concern only to be met with that ever popular comment from men, “you’re just crazy”. We already deal with that s*** on the daily, I refuse to deal with it on a site dedicated to uplifting women.

  • sweetnik

    Bahahaha!!! I saw this exact scenario on here the other day! Some guy spoke his opinion and was bombarded. I think some men genuinely believe they know what is best for women: maybe even more than the women themselves. So, they feel the need to voice their thoughts to “help” or “save” us. Men have a right to have an opinion but they sometimes fail to see a situation from a woman’s perspective. I truly do believe men and women think differently and would handle certain things differently. We have our own set of worries and thoughts on things. Because a man is a man, he can’t fully understand that. This is why his statements are tomfoolery. I’ll give it to some men, they understand women but usually these men have strong female exposure in their family; their mother, cousins, aunts, sisters, or whoever. My thing is if you want to voice your opinion and you’re highly misinformed, don’t look like a deer in the headlights when you get proven wrong or what you said gets thrown back in your face. And thheeeeeen, try to play the “see you women are so angry” card. You don’t see me chiming in on a male blog when I don’t know what I’m talking about and then try to play the damsel in distress if I ruffle some feathers. My dear sir, you are in fact the one who chose to wander into the lioness’s den.

  • PJ

    I honestly don’t get why some of you ladies continue to engage them! That is what they want. I don’t even bother reading because I know it will be complete nonsense. Every woman who not only reads but responds to their posts is the reason why they not only come but thrive and get comfy.

    I also don’t understand why blogs allow them through. They don’t contribute anything of value to the conversation and are not interested in your ads.

    I think it is clear that the majority of the black male trolls are abusers in real life who enjoy any opportunity to intrude on a womans peace. Others just do it for what they call lulz. Either way don’t give them the satisfaction — downrate and move on.

  • Yb

    Please and thank you. :)

  • Anthony

    I hang out at Clutch so much because I think this site has some great articles that really interest me. I also really, really like being around women. I love my wife, my daughters, my sister, and my late mother and aunts. I also enjoy my female co-workers too. As a man, understanding feminism and the female perspective is a life long learning assignment because I am a man, and I will never totally get women since I am not one. Sometimes the best thing a man can do is just read and not post even if he is tempted to write.

  • MimiLuvs

    I was surprise to see that this article was posted on here. I honestly thought the staff, here on Clutch, was turning a blind eye to the foolishness and hiding behind the free amendments. There are men, regulars, whose comments that I feel are welcoming.

  • H,H

    9 times out of 10, I’m interested in what a male’s point-of-view is regarding our topics. There are a lot of great discussions on Clutch, so I can understand why they would have a desire to comment.

  • Clutch

    Not at all. We are a small team – only one person monitors the site daily. Most of the time – comments end up in moderation or if it gets through we don’t see it until later or until it’s reported. It’s gets hard to monitor on post that reach high comment numbers. If there is a comment that is offensive and any reader feels like to be removed please report and email us @ [email protected].


  • politicallyincorrect

    I don’t understand the title of this article, There are male trolls on a lot of women’s sites and articles. Its not specific to race at all.

    There are male forums, its not womens fault they probably talk about hip hop and sports all the time. They also have their own websites where they bash women, there are sites where specifically black women are bashed

  • AnnT

    I’m interested in the male’s point-of-view on as long as it’s relevant and constructive.
    Name-calling, blaming without any personal responsibility, and general jack-a**ery contributes to nothing.

    I ignore the comments and eventually stop visiting any site if it get’s out of hand.

  • Sasha

    I don’t typically respond in this fashion but I feel this is necessary: shut the f*ck up bob.

  • Sasha

    I think the men who have a presence on this site are bitter and lost. For every one sensible comment a man makes, 10 of them made by men are filled with misogyny, narcissism, sexism, ignorance and flat out vitriolic hatred. I don’t mind when men want to speak BUT more often than not they offer nothing to the conversation. They show up on articles about weight, colorism, sexism, feminism, violence towards women (including sexual violence such as rape) and ESPECIALLY interracial dating. This is supposed to be a space for women, where we can talk about the issues that are effecting women, specifically Black women so when a man comes in here, his presence is not necessarily unwelcome but if the comments he makes are specifically to derail and spread ignorance/ hatred then you have to wonder what type of mental mindset they are in. Some men, the ones who come to this site and without a doubt are Black, spend so much time talking about the issues of women and how to fix them, I wonder what would happen if they would actually shut up and listen.

  • Sasha

    “It reminds me of when women bring up a concern only to be met with that ever popular comment from men, “you’re just crazy”.”

    THIS RIGHT HERE!! I had a sit down with my boyfriend about three weeks ago and plainly told him that he was NEVER ever allowed to tell me that I am “being crazy” or “irrational” about anything otherwise we would not be together anymore. These comments/ words when used by a man are dismissive, sexist and a gaslighting technique as a means to control women by not having to acknowledge their feelings at the same time not holding men accountable for how their actions may affect a women.

  • Maia

    Everybody else does it, isn’t an excuse with merit.

    Lucas specifically mentions Clutch so I assume she’s writing specifically about black women’s sites on a black woman’s site. One of the men quoted says that this isn’t a Black woman/man phenomenon.

  • apple

    rastaman and jamesfromphilly are cool :-)

  • kiesh

    “a lot of men like having sex with women, but don’t really like women.”

    That’s the crux of it.

    However, I do not understand why women continue to engage trolls on this site and even Twitter and such. It’s CLEAR that a lot of these men say certain things MERELY to incite negative reactions. Time and time again people fall for it hook, line, and sinker. The more they are ignored, the less they’d troll.

  • beks

    I liked this post. Clutch is far from a feminist blog (we would shy away from needing a male group to explain what men are thinking, it elevates their voice in an unnecessary way – we can discuss their motives without prioritizing their voices in this female centered forum, there are other places for that) but it is women friendly and as a feminist I greatly enjoy reading the posts. I agree with the above commentor that we should ‘starve the beast’ and ignore/report the abusive ones and give very little response to the others. This is our space to be able to share our thoughts, dreams, wishes, and conflicts in a safe way amoungst ourselves.

  • Dr. J

    Dr. J from SBM here, this is an interesting topic and I have a few thoughts both from an industry standpoint and also from a reader’s perspective.

    From an Industry standpoint, let’s evaluate it. Relationship blogs demographics are about 75% female/25% male. Running a male blog, I can say that number stays pretty solid for us, VSB, NWSO, etc. But when you look at a women’s blog that number changes, it’s like 90/10. So first let me say, you gals have this problem, but WE really have the inverse in a worst way. The next step is to profile your readers. I live in our dashboard and I tell our readers, keep in mind, I read everyone of your comments and create a profile of you as a reader (inc. ideology, stances, perspective, demographics).

    So when I look at men on women’s blogs, they fall into a few categories:
    1) Myself, people who have their own blog and want to see what other people are doing to write great articles and promote great sites.
    2) Men interested in hearing female’s thoughts.
    3) Men who feel that they are somehow the leaders of “thought” and are also interested in evangelizing other readers. (Instead of starting their own d*mn blog.)
    4) Men who are angry and looking to exert that anger on the Internet.

    Your trolls come from #3 and #4, but you can deal with them the same way. You can’t acknowledge them. You also have to ask all your readers to do the same. Don’t respond to their comments and don’t continuously dislike their comment. It only draws attention to them as a troll. Most trolls just want acknowledgement, when you take that away, they typically leave in a bit and your conversation can carry on.

    For #4, be mindful that regardless of the gender of the troll, people who are hurt and angry don’t really need to be argued with, they need to deal with the anger in a healthy manner. When you start arguing with them or get disgusted, it’s not helping them at all. When we experience this on our site with women trolls, as moderators we’re quick to internally decipher if someone is going through something and we should not be quick to respond. Or if we have to go in and direct the flow of conversation away from them.

    For #3, they can get you upset because they typically are bigots or chauvinists who make a small point hidden in a larger flawed point… like everyday, lol. Just ignore them, don’t validate or affirm their presence or seat at the table.

    There’s a lot more that can be said on this, but I wanted to be brief.

    PS – That first guy who commented wasn’t saying anything crazy. That’s trolls trolling on trolls right there. Quite hilarious, but yeah, good example of the next conversation. “Your Site’s Troll Protection: Are Your Readers Ready for War?”

  • JN

    And RAVI!! don’t forget Ravi!! love me some Ravi.

  • kiesh

    Just curious, why do people do this:

    “Men interested in hearing female’s thoughts.”

    Men and females? Why not men and women? I really don’t get the popularity of using “females” these days. It wasn’t like that a couple years ago.

  • Anthony

    I am probably guilty being somewhere between #2 and #3.

    I just hope that my contributions are mainly positive. I am glad this article about male trolls was posted because I distinctly felt that I should have stayed out of the article on curvy women. I was the second poster, and my point totally missed where the great majority of women were coming from. That is why I say now that sometimes men are better served if we just read and don’t comment.

  • Sasha

    Isn’t it disgusting? I automatically checkout mentally whenever I hear anyone use the word females to refer to women and girls and if I see it online that person is AUTOMATICALLY labeled a dumbass not worthy of carrying on conversation with. Didn’t even bother reading the rest of his comment after I saw that.

  • D

    As one of the men who comment here (I think going on 3 or 4 weeks now), I can cosign your friend who said it’s because men are trying to understand women. Even the women-haters on such sites – who are fueled by a feeling of men being blamed for everything and a perceived lack of women writers/commenters taking personal responsibility for whatever the issue is – are probably subconsciously trying to understand why they hate women so much. Indeed, such men may see the gripes on here and other sites as man-hating as much as you see their comments as women-hating.

    I admit…I read some of the pieces and comments on here with a “Huh?” expression, wondering how any being could think in such a fashion. LOL…I do the same with my girlfriend so it’s not just an Internet thing. But it illuminates the differences between genders and the unchanging reality that they just have to be accepted.

    The issues discussed, as you said, rarely affect just women and in some way, shape or form, often lay the blame for whatever the issue is at the doorstep of men, patriarchy, male-dominated culture, etc. In those instances, I’d venture to guess that the comments of women high-fiving each other aren’t as helpful as hearing from the so-called oppressors.

  • D

    “blaming without any personal responsibility”

    Lots of men will find this comment funny. :-) I expand on this in a later comment.

  • anon Black male

    Perhaps the Clutch team could clarify the commenting policies/expectations.

    Ms. Lucas and many of your readers seem to think that since this site is “geared toward” Black women, Black men who would like to comment should do so only with implied permission–that is, in a way likely to be found agreeable.

    I’m not trying to debate the merits of such a policy. But readers generally might be helped by knowing whether this is, in effect, the official policy.

    Reasonable men then would not have to be instructed (or shamed) to “get off our site”–if this is not where they are supposed to be in the event they feel compelled to register an unpopular opinion. Your site, your rules.

  • JDB

    THIS! This is the thing that gets me the most – I never understood the part where we engage. Not to “blame the victim”, by any means. But if we treat them like the petulant, tantrum throwers they are, and ignore the behavior, maybe it will go away. It’s honestly not worth the time to engage.

  • Purple Rain

    LOL I love how the first comment to this article is “hidden due to low rating”. Ha!

  • Chillyroad

    A male troll is no worse than a female troll. Not sure why a vagina makes your trolling less disruptive and annoying. If you want to talk about trolling fine but don’t act as if the gender of the troll makes a difference.

    I’m a black woman that has been called a male troll simply because my views aren’t goose stepping with the popular opinions around here. This has nothing to do with protecting the integrity of the debate but simply a way to keep out unpopular ideas. For the most part many of the writers and especially the audience at Clutch are intellectual cowards who don’t want to have to defend their own set of biases, racio-misandry, racism, sexism, elitism, bigotry of immigrant black women, delusions of granduer, and other assorted pathologies.

  • Clutch

    Hi Anon,

    Thanks for responding! We welcome all voices – but the issue is a few bad apples are coming to post/articles leaving very rude and offensive comments that are not related to the topic or just plain disrespectful and not adding to the conversation. We truly think all the ladies of Clutch have no problem with men reading and comments on the content – but they just want to make sure you are here to add something productive and respectful and not here just to harp and express anger/resentment towards us.

    Our comment policy is here –

    Thanks again!

  • EST. 1986

    It’s dehumanizing. And the thing is – Not all females are women and girls. ‘Female’ includes animals.

  • D

    “This has nothing to do with protecting the integrity of the debate but simply a way to keep out unpopular ideas.”

    True, true.

  • Dr. J

    I don’t have any deeper meaning behind the words, but I understand what you mean. I use the terms interchangeably and the reason why I said female here is because I was still talking about demographics in which the statistics are reported that way. Guns down please lol.

  • Dr. J

    But when men don’t comment it perpetuates an environment that is subject to groupthink which can be extremely dangerous. You just need productive comments from both sides and also women interested in fostering a safe space for men to comment without being attacked.

  • keepitreal

    Two words, male privilege. I know certain women delight in this invasion and are all a quiver at male attention–I am not one.

    And yeah, no, this phenomena is almost exclusive to black women sites and I find it pretty repulsive. I discovered Clutch and other BW blogs just this year & imagine my shock to find men littered all over with most spewing hate. Hell, even one of the most popular black **HAIR** care board is littered with male trolls.
    What’s even sadder is these trolls are lauded with attention and their presence defended by the very women they demean.
    Notice my use of the word litter b/c this is essentially what you males are doing, flinging your opinions where it is not intended nor needed.

    It absolutely reeks of disrespect whether or not the man in question is the obvious troll or seemingly pro woman. This should be a safe place for women to share their thoughts among her sisters. How effing dare you invade such a space.

    I can’t imagine my dad or any male of his generation sitting up in the kitchen with my mom and her girlfriends and gabbing. GTFO,
    It’s obvious a lot of these “men” today weren’t raised around men when the words Clutch, lipstick, black women hair care….. isn’t enough to keep your asses away.

  • kiesh

    @ Sasha: I wouldn’t go that far. Things can become habit – not necessarily any intended harm or disrespect. I’m just always seeking understanding.

  • Sasha

    Well damn….see here’s the thing. There are a lot of pieces I don’t agree with as well as writers on this site that I don’t particularly care for but here’s the thing: it has less to do with (un)popular opinions and more so to do with how you present your feelings. For example, on the topic of interracial dating that many men come out of the woodwork to specifically comment on, qualifying words such as “ALL, EVERY” followed by “Black females who date White men are self hating bitches” are the norm and although its within anyone’s right to hold that opinion, its problematic because it adds nothing to the conversation, is simply untrue and makes you look like a troll. A better statement, that would make one look less like a troll regardless of gender would be “It is in my experience that the Black women I know who are dating White men do it out of self-hatred”. See the difference there. I’ve seen many of your comments Chillyroad and do believe you’re a woman but you come across as trollish and most of the things you say seem like they’re only said to get a reaction.

  • D


  • Sasha

    @kiesh: I agree that it may come out of habit but in my experience, the majority of the people’s mouths I hear “female” coming from are men, in particular Black men, but thats my own personal experience so I’m not saying this to be true of all men. Additionally when its used, its not used interchangeably but instead to specifically insult and degrade.

  • H,H

    Exactly. Regardless of gender, I cannot entertain foolishness and non-sense. Name-calling and personal attacks were getting out of hand at one time from both sides. I thought it was completely unnecessary for a site created for mature women. However, I think it has gotten better. Well, maybe I should say some days or better than others. :)

  • EST. 1986

    She is playing victim again. When she went under the name Queen of Newcastle and Tyne and Wear (or something like that), she was banned from commenting on the site because of her opinions about Black women.

  • Kacey

    I have said it before, and I will say it again — most of these [black] male trolls are projecting their feelings against their own mothers when they come onto blogs like clutch. They hate their mothers, they have intense feelings of anger and resentment towards them and, as a result, they attack other women. This is particularly true of the black men who come on here and put down black women and spew all types of hatred and stereotypes. They harbor these feelings toward the women who birthed them and raised them and because they don’t feel safe and comfortable confronting those feelings, they project them outward.

    Don’t take this lightly. These men are dangerous and need psychiatrists. Let’s not forget Asia McGowan, who was murdered by one such person.

  • onegirl

    I was just thinking about this topic this morning. I’ve had enough of these so-called dudes trying to help. Start your own site.Oh yeah…that is why they need us; they’re too lazy to do it themselves or too afraid to ask how.

  • D

    Dr. J, I said the same thing in my comment below this one. A group of anybody, men, women, Democrats, Republicans, sitting in isolation and patting each other on the back, isn’t that productive. Maybe more tact is needed, I know I can occasionally use some, but contrary opinions should not only be welcome they should be sought out.

    Another interesting phenomenon is the bashing of women who don’t follow the groupthink. They’re lumped in with male trolls, like Chillyroad said below. People say “just be respectful” but oftentimes commenters who agree with the prevailing opinion can be just as disrespectful in expressing their views without realizing it and they still get thumbs up. People may feel like this is their home or their kitchen table or their book club, but no particular group or ideology owns the right to post here. You’re on the Internet regardless of the name of the site. From time to time you’ll read things you don’t like regardless of the name of the site. So what?

    Essentially the message is, either agree with most of the posters on the site or water your comments down to the point that the majority of posters can not have the possibility of being offended.

    None of that is meant to give a pass to true trolls. But like others said, ignoring them is the only effective method of dealing with them.

  • Kacey

    But what I don’t understand is why the “sensible” men never make an attempt to shut-down the others.

    All it would take is for one man to confront another about the BS he is dishing out and it would be over. When women try to talk them down it only adds fuel to their fire. What they need is another man to say “you’re wrong” and you’ll see how fast the tone of the conversation changes.

    Women are never afraid to confront and contradict each other and especially black women – who defend black men against the comments of other black women. Where are the so-called “brothers” who support us? Why are they not being more vocal?

    This is just further proof that black men are not the protectors of black women.

  • onegirl

    I appreciate what you’re saying, but your last line sums it up. Zip it.

  • Anthony

    People, I am not afraid to comment, I simply feel that there are times that if a man wants to really learn something, he needs to resist the urge to type, and just read what women have to say.

  • nona

    Anthony, you are one of the few men who comment here whose opinion I always look forward to reading (also Ravi). Even when I may disagree, I can tell your opinion is not meant to be dismissive or hateful. You GET it–at least–as much as any man can try to “get” it. Understanding that sometimes you just have to read and not comment is something too many many don’t get, and don’t want to get (hi, jamesfrmphilly).

  • victoria

    I agree totally. I certainly believe everyone has a right to their opinions and I dont have a problem with men stating them on blogs for women. I just dont understand the hatefulness. It’s clear some of the men commenting hate black women. And I agree with the author that it’s their insecurities. I dont agree with you that they have to see things from a women’s perspective. You can state your opinion without taking into account my perspective. But when it’s stated in a nasty way the message is lost.

    Great comment.

  • D

    True, true.

  • Anthony

    In fact, take gender out of it, because in all situations there are times when you need to stop talking and listen if you want to learn.

  • Tim

    Don’t get me wrong. Some brothers have some immature and selfish opinions about women, life and responsibility but those opinions weren’t formed within a vacuum ladies.

    Maybe men comment because we get tired of black women lying to each other. Example….. “Oh, life is so wonderful being single at 30 and 40…. young black women should never get married in their 20′s. Or, the I don’t need a man to help raise my kids nonsense. Or, the mid 30 and 40 year old women complaining and blaming black men because there is minimal or a lack of interest of “good” black men in them.” Who’s fault is that black woman? You all know for a fact that most of you “never marrieds” rejected multiple working, educated, eligible men chasing you when you were younger. Now that you’re older you’d marry a couple of them in a heart beat if you had a chance. That was your mistake. Own it! It’s like Fox News the opinions on some of these post are completely myopic. Someone has to bust that bubble with truth. Or, at least, a different point of view. The ship is sinking ladies. Are black men supposed to remain silent?

  • victoria

    Well commentor Nate Higgers has to go. I will be sure to report him in the future.

  • Skye (box)

    Just imagine finding my fiance history on his computer frequenting a website for women called clutch so embarrassing!

  • seriously?

    This is the most negative I’ve seen yet xD

  • black_feminist

    LOL. Yes, but by now these trolls expect to get thumbs down. That doesn’t stop them from returning. I think they just want a reaction. Instead, I ignore them.

  • black_feminist

    “I honestly don’t get why some of you ladies continue to engage them! That is what they want.”


  • Anthony

    Nona, I appreciate your kind words.

  • Perspective

    Bob – I co-sign you.

    Hey if black women want to sit around and CO-SIGN THEMSELVES TO DEATH

    Hey that’s all I need to know.

    Come on boys – lets go – because the women have all the right answers. Let them figure it out and completely ignore the OPINIONS of the other half of the community.

    They are going to the moon and back
    They can do anything men can do
    They can get white men, marry them and be happy.

    Hey! – that’s all I need to know – there is no argument here.

    Come on boys – LETS PACK UP OUR BAGS AND GO! Let them co-sign enough others dumb ideas, reasoning, and logic – talking about why they haven’t found love or whatever other trivial stuff women are concerned about which always revolves around what the men WHO THEY DON’T VALUE OUR OPINIONS aren’t doing.


  • politicallyincorrect

    I am not saying its ok because everyone else does it. Just stop attributing everything negative to black behavior when its MALE behavior

  • Clutch

    We have already banned him – but he keeps getting through our moderation. Please let us know – and we will continue to delete him when he gets through.

  • Val


    I agree. If a weed gets water, it will grow. If a weed doesn’t get water, it will die. And paying attention to trolls is like water for them. I ignore them.

  • Perspective

    I agree – Purple – because it demonstrates the illogical nature of women.

    Flagging for the sake of flaggin

    Bob said.

    “I comment when I see an article is one sided and bias. I argue from another rational perspective.”

    There is nothing inciting, derogatory, or negative about his comment – and yet – his voice shut down.

    This is why many men just don’t bother with SISTAS. You can’t get a word in. Sistas always have to be right.

    I see more single black women everyday and uninterested brothas.

    Oh you’re not interested in brothas either?! Let’s toast to that – shall we~

  • DanaT

    Remember, you can always create your own space as well. You could take other readers on here with you and provide discussion there. From your comment, it seems you are invested in voicing opinions rather than thoughtful exchanges and listening. That is fine–you have that right but maybe because of your intentions that neglect conversation, you should create your own space. Just a hopeful, holiday thought…

  • SS25

    Troll Alert!!!!

  • Perspective

    @ AnnT -

    This ain’t the black church! These REAL LIFE BLACK MEN – aren’t in your pocket – WE DO NOT PANDER TO BLACK WOMEN, just to make them FEEL BETTER.

    If you don’t like what’s being said – that doesn’t change the fact that it’s the truth.

    How do I know it’s truth

    Many reasons –

    1) Sista would rather BURY COMMENTS then intelligently respond with logic and reason. “Hmmm, ok I could see or understand that!”

    2) Women are the biggest culprits of shaming, name calling, and other ad hominems

    3) Black women love to make the exceptions swallow the rule. Black children are failing, we have a high single motherhood number, there is a connection between the two. Where do black women go in order to DEFEND the sisterhood.

    “Nuh uh! Look at Ben Carson!”

    Really chick… Really!!!? What is that 1 in 100,000 black males. 75% of our prisons are full of men who came from fatherless homes and BEN CARSON is supposed to shut me down?

    Its to the point of ridiculousness.


    Doesn’t matter what the topic is. A man can break down dating single mothers is a drain.

    “You’re not my daddy”
    “Baby daddy wanna suddenly show up because your smashin his EX GIRL! – NOW he wants to be a dad!”
    “If you date a single mom – there is NO WAY money is not coming out your pocket.”

    What will the women say if you don’t want to go through all that?


    Please direct me to the sea of brothas hopping the fence and REQUESTING the non-black women who have the very issues that brothas complain about.

  • PJ

    Exactly, and that is another issue. Many of these males were probably raised around women and don’t even know how to just be around other men. Other level headed men would probably put them in their place. They’re used to being up some woman’s skirt all the time.

    I can’t remember the last time I visited a black men’s blog or site — I honestly don’t care to hang around in their space and comment on their issues. That’s their business.

  • Anthony

    Onegirl, do you mean never post, or be mindful of where I post?

  • Kendra (@Nerdstradamas)

    Actually I began hearing the term “female” when I was in junior high. I’m 26 now and can definitely say its off-putting.

    Like the person below stated, its dehumanizing. And if female is some sort of qualifier for “less than a woman/person”, well then, a lot of men are deserving of the title male as well.

    This is so common, that I don’t even men realize when they use the term female.

  • Perspective

    @ DanaT

    Black men have already created their own spaces such as Gen-X or Blackmenvent.

    And what does that do?

    Other than provide a world when each side is co-signing themselves to death.

    Women have NOT refuted my arguments with solid anything. I’m not saying men are perfect. I’m not saying men don’t do anything wrong – but it is women who have not been addressed

    THEY ARE SO USED TO BE PERFECT – and infallible. Then when you present them with the reality it burst their whole bubble and then they become violent.


    Again – if what I am saying is so wrong why is it so difficult for women to present solid arguments that counter the points I made.

    I remember when we were on the black women and their weight issue.

    No matter the facts, no matter what’s obviously seen with the human eye – do you know what I got.

    “White women are fat too!”

    Not – yea, you are right – and that needs to be worked on because it’s getting a little bit out of control.

    Whats funny is when you have women come on here and say something that many men would agree with – and WOMEN attack that woman.

    Don’t act like you haven’t seen it.

    Its not about what gender it comes from – it’s about whether the black women agree or not and if it is in harmony with their SISTERHOOD IDEOLOGIES – if it is not BURN HER AT THE STAKE WITH THE MEN!

  • PJ

    Yes, I think that is the issue. Where else could that intense of a hate come from but a parent, who is the first person you meet in life? I’ll be honest — on one occasion I saw a young black boy being berated by his mother on the bus and I felt for him. It immediately made me think of where a lot of these grown trolls probably get their opinions of all black women from. Too bad they’ll never find happiness if they continue to hold onto this fallacy that EVERY black woman in the world is like his neglectful or mean mama. What a shame, but it’s not our fault that you can’t forgive your mom or get over your issues as an adult. Admit you need help, you’re not right!

  • D.T.

    I’ve been accused of being a male troll before and I’m a woman. I’ve gotten the “hidden due to low rating” tagged to my comment numerous times and I find it quite funny. Anytime I see a comment hidden I’m more interested in what that person had to say than anyone else. 

    A lot of women can’t handle the truth. If you are fat, then guess what? I’m going to say you’re fat and should lose weight. If the topic is about single mothers (by choice), I’m going to be critical.  If the article is about how great and mighty black women are when I know we have tons of issues, then I’m going to say something in true DT fashion.

    That doesn’t make me a troll. 

    I think a lot of you want men to come on here and kiss your posteriors by cosigning a lot of the bull some of you spew. Not only is that annoying, it’s also boring. 

    Now if someone comes on here saying “bw are dogs” or “bw are scum” then I could see the point however I think most of this is about harsh criticisms and hurt feelings. 

  • PJ

    “Maybe men comment because we get tired of black women lying to each other.”

    But why do you care so much about someone you don’t know or are not married to OR have no intention of marrying/dating?

    I personally get tired of black men pretending that it’s normal to be unemployed and living off of women, but I say you know what that’s THEIR life. Let them live it. As long as it’s not in my life it’s none of my business. I’m not here to fix men and you shouldn’t be here to try to “fix” women. You’re not helping.

  • PJ

    I realize that I may have violated my own rule by posting to this person, but I really wonder why some of these ranting men seem to be so interested in “fixing” us when they claim to not even want us? Go ahead about your business then man! lol

  • anon Black male

    Clutch team: I appreciate the thoughtful reply, which is consistent with the policy I’d read.

    Yet I’m not sure about this: “all the ladies of Clutch have no problem with men reading and comment[ing] on the content – but they just want to make sure you are here to add something productive and respectful….” Comments on this article, for example, suggest that quite a few ladies would like to enforce a more exclusive policy, whether through shouting down or shaming.

    Fortunately, your actual policy takes precedence on your site.

  • D

    “I personally get tired of black men pretending that it’s normal to be unemployed and living off of women”

    As opposed to the perfectly normal situation of unemployed stay-at-home mothers living off of men.

    Anyway, I’m just as tired of the women who irresponsibly choose bums and by choice allow themselves to be a bucket of blood for a mosquito. But you’re right that is their life. Let them live it.

  • binks

    This! While reading this article, I was running down the topics where these trolls usually visit to spew their hate and negativity. And you are right, I believe there is a correlation between their attitudes towards women and the type of articles they frequent because usually the topics that deal with issue in womanhood where men are aggressors or topics that affects black women’s self-esteem they are there! Right off the back I can usually guess what article is going to be a war zone base on the subject/title…lol. I vote “Napoleon complex” for $1000. It is easier to sit behind a computer trolling because of the false sense of machismo and ego tripping to make up for the sense of inferiority they feel within themselves or in life. I wholeheartedly believe they do this because they want to knock black women down a peg of two because they feel like they are either getting left behind to wallow alone in their selfness or don’t want us to become hip to the game and better our positions in it. Personally, I have no problem with the “sensible” male presence on Clutch, because they do bring a much different perspective whether I agree with it or not, but the trolls…smh…just HAVE to go!

  • AM


    I always enjoy reading your infrequent comments. BUT, if you have something to say, “SPEAK YES SPEAK TO BE HEARD SO HARD!”. This may be a space created for us, BUT I absolutely HATE when I see other women, asking “why are you commenting?” It’s great to read a man’s point of view!! We just ask that you remain respectful. That’s all.

  • Kim

    @Perspective, you are truly a damaged soul. You need prayer and a psychiatrist. Dear Lord. SMH.

  • Chillyroad

    Likewise many of you women were raised in all female spaces and are hysterically hostile toward anything male except Mr. Charlie of course. You guys have been raised around a bunch of domineering man hating no man having mothers aunts and friends. No fathers or husband so it makes sense that men are seen as hostile invaders.

  • Chillyroad


    Black men don’t need to protect you. You’re an adult. Protect yourself. You only receive the protection of men on their terms not yours. You want them to be your human shields you follow their rules.

  • AM

    don’t forget, Tonton!!—->he is just so gotdarn BLUNT! LOVE IT.

  • AM

    “intellectual cowards” Good lawd Almighty!! *sips tea*!!

    -now you know you done set it off.

  • D

    The real issue on this and every other site devoted to these issues is the prevailing “us against them” mentality. That set-up, usually propagated by people who truly despise those of the other gender, will always devolve into gender combat. “I’m angry/sad/mad/overweight/bitter/lonely/chauvinistic/hateful because of THEM. Now sit back and let me tell you why!” Harmless venting or not, that’s wrongheaded. A woman asked on here where are all the brothers taking on the trolls. Good question. They’re probably right next to all the women who regularly big up men (black men) on here.

    We’re supposed to be on the same side, trying to improve relationships, communities, marriages, ourselves. None of it will get better just talking amongst ourselves. The goal should be male-female communication, not reinforcing reasons we’re enemies. But it always ends up with opposing forces looking to man-bash, woman-hate, belittle each other, take each other out with invective, blame-throwing, forever locked in a battle of wills and making sure they bear no responsibility for any of the ills of anything. Pointless.

    There are plenty of times when something the opposite sex says will be more relevant to you than your own gender.

    I find battle of the sexes type debates fun, too, when lighthearted and playful. And, yes, there are times for sister-girl and brother-man single gender chat-fests. That time is in our personal lives. On the Internet, with the opportunity to hear diverse views from dozens and hundreds of people you’d never meet, community conversation is more important.

  • D

    “They are angry because black women are on top and they are under our feet!”

    LOL….no trolling to see here. Move along.

  • Kim

    Is Chilly the poster Acai Santiago. That was on “thing” that truly hated black women. I just don’t get why they would bother coming on a site for and buy black women. Some folks need intense therapy. LOL!

  • E.M.S.

    Regardless of the reason for the rude comments, I have an even greater question: why are they ALLOWED? The new system requires comments to be approved to show up. So why aren’t the nasty ones filtered out? That’s something I’d like the site management to address.

  • Chillyroad


    I’ve never heard anyone be called a “self hating bitch.” The self hating may be implied but bitch….? I don’t think so. Black men in general have been accused of being self hating murderous rapist disease spreading dead beats. This is what goes on in socalled women’s spaces.

    When thing I have learned about black sites for men or women is that most of you are nothing but a bunch of foaming at the mouth vulgar haters of eachother. I’ve never seen this type of degeneracy at white feminist sites or white MRA sites. They are far more intellectually sound and emotionally stable.

    Across the board blacks have problems with communication while having the most to say. The Taliban is more diplomatic than you lot.

  • Clutch


    Our new system does not require comments to be moderated. We voted against it since many of our readers did not approve of it.

    Some comments do go into moderation without our control and get stuck there until we are able to go and approve. Also, we can not possibly catch every bad/disrespectful comment we just dont have the staff to do so – that’s why we implemented the “report comment” button and ask for readers to help us by emailing us if they see a comment that causes concern. I hope this helps.


  • sweetnik

    I understand what you’re saying about perspectives and opinions. My comment was just in reference to what I witnessed on this site. I guess what I’m really getting at is no the male readers don’t necessarily have to have a females perspective to have an opinion, but lack there of in certain statements causes some female readers to be less receptive to that opinion. This is why some would refer to those male readers as trolls.

    For example, the situation I saw the other day. The writer spoke on the topic of stretchmarks and her experience with said issue. Several women commented in gratitude for sharing, supported, and shared their own stories.

    One man commented something along the lines of “berries, fruit, vegetables, etc”. (of course I’m paraphrasing.) I guess insinuating that we get stretchmarks because we eat poorly and gain weight. Needless to say that didn’t go over very well. I just feel like if he understood from a womans pov, he would have understood for some of us its deeper than that. For some, its a little bit more to it than just eat right and you won’t get stretchmarks. I had stretchmarks that I was insecure because puberty hit me like a truck. There was nothing I could do about them. He just lacked empathy in the statement to me.

  • Kacey

    “…on one occasion I saw a young black boy being berated by his mother on the bus and I felt for him.”

    Yes!!! It was an incident like the one you witnessed that brought me to my “aha moment”. I have seen women curse-out and humiliate their small sons. And that’s not to say that they don’t do it to their daughters, but there are a lot of women who take their anger and disappointments in men out on their little boys, and there are a lot of women who are poor role models for womanhood in general. And we need to be honest about that. Imagine how that little boy begins to think of women (or rather, women who look like his mother) as he grows up.

    A girl may confront her mother or just cut her off (mother-daughter relationships are often strained and combative). Some end up mimicking the same patterns of behavior. But what happens to the sons? No one considers that.

    And I firmly believe that is at the heart of most of the rabid hatred you see from these men.

  • LemonNLime

    I too enjoy reading your comments. The key is just to be respectful and realize that you are speaking from an outside pov. So long as you aren’t being dismissive or being disrespectful (and YES that includes the dreaded “female” discriptor, then your comments should always be welcomed.

  • keepitreal

    Thank you! Thank you! This is the latest hot phrase used among certain men AND women towards black women almost exclusively. The saddest part is so many women are signing on to their own denigration as if it were second nature.

    To the poster below making excuses for this blatant disrespect, does your handbag not get heavy from carrying around that cape all day? This “male” says it out of habit so that makes it fine?

    Well, he didn’t mean anything by referring to you as “bitch.”
    Well, he didn’t mean anything by referring to you as “hoe”
    Well, he didn’t mean anything by referring to you as “female”

    Just how much disrespect are you willing to accept?

  • AnnT

    Dr. J, is very explicit about calling women “females” on his blog.

  • Kacey

    Um…ChillyRoad, is that you??? You need to quit hiding behind all these different screen names. SMH.

  • SideChair

    I think that may be true in some cases but my theory is that in most cases there are issues of abandonment (by their fathers) which results in misplaced anger towards black women (who represent their mothers)

    For every case of a mother berating her boy I can point to 10 of her coddling her boy to death. And all of that coddling in the world doesn’t make up for those abandonment issues.

  • EST. 1986

    It’s interesting to me that the terms are ‘sister-GIRL’ and ‘brother-MAN’

  • LemonNLime

    And reported… I can’t wait until they block you will all of your foolishness.

  • Tim


    Just because some have already pissed away their best days doesn’t mean there aren’t young ladies who aren’t being helped in some way by being told. Yes, your youth and beauty is a great asset but an asset that depreciates every year. Use it wisely.

  • SideChair

    Thank you. As long as you are engaged to a real man then you’re good on that front. Lol

  • Perspective

    I love the “FEMALE” hypocrisy because the first thing women want to call men in order to shame them or silence them


    So who’s really putting down women?

    Who’s the one who thinks that WOMEN are REALLY the inferior gender?!

    Some of you need to get your heads checked.

    God!!!!!! The hypocrisy.

    Want to slam men for calling women Bitches and Hoes

    But first thing out their mouth to put down a man is to call a man – THEIR ANATOMY!!!!!!


  • Arabellamichaela

    You all kill me! I love Clutch! The readers/commenters here are definitely some of the smartest I’ve encountered. Kind of like sitting around talking with my girls!

  • D.T.

    Once again it never fails for some of you to resort to accusations when you can’t refute what’s said. Typical…..

  • eshowoman

    This article doesn’t mention the men who come to these sites and praise non-black women, while defaming black ones. If you have found your non-black dream girl why are you on our sites shoving it in our faces?

  • ChillyRoad


    Thats a really damn low blow. Says so much about you though.

  • Chillyroad

    Please dont refer to them as “girls” but rather Queen Mother Eath Wombmyn with capital lettes, please.

  • D

    Damn….tell ‘em how you feel Chillyroad. lol

  • ArabellaMichaela

    As for the topic at hand–personally I don’t mind the trolls. It’s interesting to hear what the black male commenters think, or indeed, to discern that they don’t think rationally at all.
    Honestly, I find the opinions and actions of some black men so baffling, so unlike those of other groups of men, and species of males in the animal kingdom, that its interesting to hear their thoughts.

  • Chillyroad

    SO a black man that is commenting is synonymous with a troll?

    “…so unlike those of other groups of men..”

    The pot knows a lot about the kettle.

  • Caught

    Pssst you’re supposed to pretend you are a woman, troll.

  • Mike

    Never seen you complain about all of the get yourself a white man commentors, either. I wonder why.

  • AnnT

    @Perspective-I know more good Black men and Black women than I know bad Black men and Black women. I’m sorry you choose to not seek out good people and instead choose to wallow in your confirmation bias, but that’s not my reality.
    I don’t even know what you talmbout because I’ve never said any of those things. I’m not denying those things haven’t been said by other women or men, but I suggest your find your “Ground Zero” girl and seek help.

  • Do better

    We must be kindred spirits Keepitreal, because you just read my mind! PREACH!!! And dead @ “Clutch, lipstick, black women hair care….. isn’t enough to keep your asses away.”

  • AnnT

    Dr J., even though I rarely comment, I like your blog. Help me out. Do you think a substantial amount of men trolls on women’s blogs all have “Ground Zero” women in their lives? It’s an honest question.

  • thereluctantsocialite


    What is wrong with what Dr. J just said that he got 11 thumbs down?????

    To have intelligent conversation, I think its important to get perspectives from all sides so that one can get a better look at the whole picture.

    I don’t understand why this subject even needed a whole post. Yeah there are guys who have made ridiculous comments that have pissed me off before, but for the most part, I just ignore them.

    I get the idea that sometimes you may not want to hear a man’s perspective about women’s issues. During those times, maybe you should just ignore their comments. But if men can’t comment freely on “our” sites, then why should we feel free to comment freely on “their” sites?

    I just don’t get it…

  • Do better

    Right, the word “female” when used to mean a woman sounds uneducated at best, degrading and objectifying at worst. As if the human “female” is some strange species that must be dissected.

  • Chillyroad


    Its been proven time and time again that I am not apart of the “girls” because of my views.

  • Kacey

    @SideChair: I agree. The issues are intertwined, and it’s very unfortunate.

  • thereluctantsocialite

    D… you’ve had the best comment of the day… thank you!

  • Caught

    SO a black man that is commenting is synonymous with a troll?

    Yes, sir, that is right.

  • Ms. Information

    A troll is a troll is a troll….male/female black white shawty the sweetie or chillyroad…all people with sad lives that get some form of super power from talking shit. whatev…..i just can’t find myself on a site built for hispanic, white, whatever women or men commenting….losers.

  • Do better

    @ Tim…Your statement “pissed away their best days” is exactly the type of sexist BS this article and other posters are referring to. Why are the years when a woman is sexually attractive to men her best? Oh, because in your view, the ultimate HONOR a woman can be bestowed with is for some horny little a**hole to stick his peen into her for his own sick pleasure!??? You are clueless, dangerously so, about women. A woman’s youth and beauty are assets only in the context of some objectifying male doing the assessing. And yes I said male, there are men out there but the ones who view a woman’s worth based on superficial bs don’t deserve that title.

  • Chillyroad


    Coddling any child is an abusive act of psuedo-sexual incest. As I have said, black women should consider themselves lucky that they werent emotionally and pschologically molested by their parent. Im glad you are admitting that there is wide scale abuse of black boys going on in these woman led households.

  • bob

    I love black women.

  • Do better

    Man or woman, a self-righteous jerk with nothing but negativity to offer will get thumbs downed. Get used to it. And have fun pandering to the patriarchy, you little handmaiden you. That’s if you really do have a vagina. You’re not my sister.

  • Ms. Information

    Trolling isn’t merely disagreeing, people disagree with me all of the time….trolling is saying inflamatory remarks, changing screen names, et cetera……….I don’t understand people who hate black women coming to this site…if I hate something, I stay away from it…I don’t seek it out.

  • Starla

    A troll is basically like that last piece of shyt that just won’t flush.

  • ?

    How can you speak of respect when by simply being present you are disrespecting a space made for WOMAN??????????

  • MimiLuvs

    When I do comment on here, I tend to write with a creed in mind: Write, using tact and speak to someone as if they are standing in front of you. I think that is a part of the ongoing commenting-conflict that is going on: a lot of commentators choosing not to engage in a healthy conversation with everybody/anybody. I seriously doubt that these same people have conversations others (in real life and away from the computer) with the same mannerisms and behavior that they have here on Clutch. I doubt that they are quick to name-call and insult another person, because their opinions are different than their POV.
    If so, then they shouldn’t be offended if they are called “a**holes”.

  • MimiLuvs

    All of the “men” commentators that you gals has mentioned, IMO, are great additions to the Clutch’s comment section. They are adults.

  • EST. 1986

    Where is Toppin/Jus’ Sayin’?

  • MimiLuvs

    There are commentators.

  • Christina

    Omg, I SERIOUSLY cannot believe how men are wasting their time, continuing to defend their presence and bash women in this article. Ok, if we’re all a bunch of “men hating resentful” women….Just leave? Wtf? I’m so confused. Why are men getting so personally offended that women are irked about a males unwanted and mostly disrespectful presence on a WOMAN’s site? Please, don’t argue…just shutup. You can read, but don’t talk. IF you do decide you need to say something it better not be; 1) A know it all comment explaining why women act a certain way 2) Telling women what to do. We get you’re obsessed, but just stop. Black women get SO MUCH crap on a daily basis, and yes we have our sister-friends (thank God) to go to, but it’s also nice hearing different perspectives from black women we might not have a chance to meet otherwise. It SUCKS that it’s being dampened by this negativity from males. I’m really hoping that the males commentators are older, because I’m only 19 and I can’t really imagine black guys my age saying most of that stuff in such a negative way (or maybe that’s what they’re secretly thinking?)

  • MimiLuvs

    The “thumbs down” button does not mean that “Oooh, You’re a troll! Spray a can of Rain on it!”
    The “thumbs down” button just means that it is a comment that some one doesn’t agree with it.
    Now, if there was a button that screams “Ooooh, there’s a troll! Spray some Rain on it!”… It is the “Report Comment” button.

  • MimiLuvs

    Got-dang auto correct feature!

  • MimiLuvs

    I like to think of a troll as that bratty, misbehaving kid that you cannot chastised because they are not your kid.

  • anon Black male

    Well said. But I think the issue is this: despite the official policy of the site, Clutch is an affirmation community (much like Crunk Feminist Collective and Jezebel, for example).

    The purpose is not respectful discussion that might involve disagreement involving issues of concern to a certain segment of women. Rather, the purpose is for such women to share mostly like-minded opinions among themselves, without any pressure to address persons (usually men) who sometimes might have a very different perspective.

    There’s a place for affirmation communities. Message received: it is now clearer that Clutch, in effect, is such a place. Best of luck.

  • Christina

    This is stupid and no one ever says those things anyways, so if that’s what you’re getting from the articles you’re obviously not reading it and you don’t get it. you don’t get it, you can’t “fix” it. “the ship is sinking ladies” lol please. Bye.

  • EST. 1986

    Did anyone else laugh at this comment?

  • JN

    I think some of the Black female-haters came and found your comments, AM and MimiLuvs. They just can’t deal with real men.

  • Keepitreal

    It’s like breaking into someone’s house and going but I was a well behaved guest. MF you are not a guest but an intruder so IDGAF if you are well behaved. Oy vey.

  • Okay

    Thank you soooo much for saying this! I keep wondering the same thing! I mean why continue wading into the trash if you’ve found paradise right?

  • Black Man

    See Clutch comment around 2pm. They said males are welcome. :-)

  • Black Man

    Hope I don’t hurt Demetria Lucas feelings but how is it that she be a educated, friendly, no kids and a relationship guru with all of these great “real black male” keep it real friends and not have a husband? Seems to me that she needs to ask her “real male friends” THE REAL TRUTH as to why she can’t get and keep a man ie husband. Come on now you all know if there wasn’t some type of issue her “male friends” would have hooked her up with one of their boys A LONG TIME AGO.

  • Anthony

    I’ve had a whole lot of experience with trolls at another website that is dedicated to a favorite hobby of mine. In my experience, trolls have a need to constantly display their disrespect to the objects of their disdain. This feeling goes beyond hate, it is a constant need to tell someone F**K YOU! As others say, the best thing to do to a troll is to ignore it because anger and argument is the the nutrition trolls desire.

  • IAMSHE (@0oIAMSHEo0)

    :praisedancing: Preach!!!!

  • Black Man

    Fat 70 year old Captain Save a hoe. lol

  • Nigel Christopher

    For me, it’s a matter of understanding my audience better. Considering I’m a radio personality and Promotions Director, I came across this website (as a part of my show prep) and found it very informative.

    80% of my audience are women. 75% of them are women of color.

  • JaeBee

    “But when men don’t comment it perpetuates an environment that is subject to groupthink which can be extremely dangerous.”

    Thank you for mansplaining that to us silly “females”. What would we ever do without the male voice of “reason”.

  • Pseudonym

    Me, too!

    For some reason I totally missed the “Report Comment” button all this time. Definitely will be using more.

  • LA Red

    I used to look forward to reading this site every Monday (my day off) and then the comments throughout the week. Then the format switched and it seemed to bring along quite a few men with it. Completely turned me off. I sought out a site for black women, not one where men continue to post belittling comments. I hardly read it now. Which makes me kinda sad.

  • Go!

    Child be quiet, it’s not that serious.



  • MaxineShawAttyatLaw

    Whp said whe wanted a man, damn? Why do you men assume that you know what a woman wants for herself better than that particular woman does? That is so f*n arrogant. No wonder your not welcome here.

  • Love Sosa

    I usually come here after visiting VSB.

    Yall are funny, cool, and stupid at times.

    Clutch to me is like an orchestra. At the base, it’s all one song.

    But so many different notes are being played from each side of the stage.

    Some of yall I agree with, and the others I’m just like “see, look at them.”

  • Maia

    I follow her on Twitter. She’s engaged.

  • PAT

    @chillyroad/qon/eshowoman/tyneandwear?/northeastuk…That statement coming from you is…….NEVER MIND!

  • Stanley

    But when a black woman leans towards the male point of view on any subject she gets shut down just like men.
    How is this about women if you’re shutting down women with a different point of view than yours?

  • Christelyn Russell-Karazin

    God bless you, Clutch for running this story. We highly police trolls on my blog–we have 24-hour moderators. It’s no easy task, and I often wonder the same thing the author did. One aspect that I think might be overlooked is that persistent trolls on personal blogs come dangerously close to stalkers.

  • PAT


    Yeah…..and while its sad? ….another reason is ….the only group that pays attention to anything Black men say is….BLACK WOMEN!

  • Humanista

    “I follow her on Twitter. She’s engaged.”


    But seriously, the fact that you feel like all a “worthwhile” woman has to do is sit around and find a man is ridiculous. I am 100% sure men don’t spend their time pining over when they’re going to get married, so… I

  • Do better

    Yes EST 1986, I know I did. It’s like ok that being said why are you still here? Gtfoh w/your analysis.

  • BoutDatLove

    I see blogs like these as a chill out spot for women. Like ladies night or when men have their guy things they do with their buddies, but for women. I wish black blogs would promote more of a positive dialogue amongst men and women, without it always becoming something one sided and negative. And i think blogs in general are a great way to go about it, since media is used for so much negativity…. maybe this is the way to turn the negative into positivity, through blogs.

    I do think it is interesting to hear the pov of men however, rather i agree with them or not. Because i don’t always agree with the comments from other women either, but their opinion is equally important to me as my own because i know that I will and can learn something. I equally hate to hear men bashing/trolling just as much as I hate to hear women bashing/trolling. We can communicate in a way that doesn’t involve bringing each other down. If we learn to do this, I see no reason why men can’t comment on blogs for women and why women can’t comment on the blogs for men. It kind of helps us to understand and accept each other, without hopefully, feeling some kind of way because we can’t agree on certain issues or concerns. I like when I can read the comments and see where my fellow women are coming from, but then I can also see the POV of a man…. i love that, and think this is important to help us learn, grow and find common ground if both people are willing to listen and understand.

  • Do better

    Your simple analysis is misogynist propaganda 101. Seriously, please DO BETTER with your tired arguments. A woman’s value and her relationship status have absolutely nothing to do with each other. Unlike most sad little males like you, an intelligent, progressive woman sometimes decides to (gasp) actually devote time to themselves and their own life! You know, silly stuff like working on advanced degrees, furthering her career, taking care of and supporting sick family members, figuring out who she is and what she wants!!! You are so stupid it hurts.

  • zelda

    and they have the nerve to be surprised when we don’t want them here…


    These are my thoughts on these male trolls in a Riley voice from the Boondocks “Nigga you gay”. From the voice of Miss_Emcee “Nigga no black woman want ya ugly ass so don’t come on here typing that bullshit. You better get a fat white bitch”.

    All jokes aside, I agree with the comments that stated: Mother issues, abusive men, hatred of women, mad black women don’t want them, when they pull their pants down and a woman laughs so they come on women sites to troll, blue balls, both hands are broke so their regular JO session can’t happen so they use that voice recognition device to speak type on here to troll, mental issues, and they aren’t getting any attention from a human in the real physical world.

  • Tim

    @Do Better

    Men are visual and if you think youth and beauty is looked at as an asset by only men think again. Go pick up a woman or teen magazine or turn on your tv to one of those chick flicks or 90% of the commercials for woman’s products on tv and in ads.

    No one said it’s the only asset. Just that it is a great asset that depreciates every year which is correct.

  • Tim

    @ Christelyn Russell-Karazin

    I don’t have a problem with interacial dating go for it. Is there a white male or any non black male site that promotes and glorifies black women the way your site promotes and glorifies white and non black men?

  • Orange Starr Happy Hunting


  • TP/JS

    Closer than you think. *wink

  • Rose

    Yes, reading through these comments this morning, yours is well stated. I especially love your 2nd paragraph. #Kudos

  • Tim

    @Do Better

    Those white feminist really taught you well before going home to their husbands and communities full of homes with husbands and fathers. Brainwash 101…….DO BETTER

  • AM

    I could care less! Let them downvote until kingdom come.

    Annnnnnnnnnnd, how are you lady!!

  • Perspective

    “Now, before you rabid feminists jump all over me and imply that I want black women to return to being totally dependent and involved in physically and mentally abusive marriages, just take a look around. The lack of marriage hasn’t put a dent in domestic violence and rape, has it?” ~ Christelyn Karazin

    Your “God Bless comment” coming from the same woman WHO KNOWS how inconsistent and illogical black women can be when even talking about DOMESTIC ABUSE and MARRIAGE.

    When men call it out we’re trolling – but women can say the EXACT same thing as men and it’s someone MORE REAL.


    And as you know CK – that comment is YEARS OLD.

    Oh yea – us men have been watching you and other black women.

    We watch you all say 1 THING TODAY

    Then another thing TOMORROW – but most commonly – eventually the light of reasons touches your head and then you all end up saying the VERY SAME THINGS BLACK MEN HAVE BEEN SAYING – except when black men say you – you all just don’t like it and call it trolling.

    Color over character?!

    So dumb. Not saying you all can’t hope the fence – but collectively NO.

    You all keep missing the fact that white men are the builders and maintainers of their communities. White women are valued because it are ONLY white women who can make white babies so that the white man can pass on what he built to his children and be apart of a greater white community that comes with all the WHITE SOCIAL BENEFITS associated with the white infrastructure.

    Its also RIDICULOUS – at how on these FACEBOOK blogs – black women will sit up there and FINALLY promote black women’s natural hair – talk about how the mom should be a role model for their black daughters (which took a black man to create), they want to UPLIFT DARK SKINNED BLACK GIRLS –

    but then in the very next link or breath – advocate black women to get with WHITE MEN – which IGNORING the type of child that relationship would produce – the very LIGHT SKIN BITCH – that is the apparent cause of the dark skin little girls LOW SELF ESTEEM!

    Any woman with COLOR ISSUES or COLORISM ISSUES should be the last one over the fence.

    They are living vicariously through their daughters OR – ignoring the fact that you can’t PROMOTE what you aren’t even trying to CONTINUE!

    This is about as dumb as black men who walk to talk about how being black gives them these SWAG POWERS that other races of men don’t have – then dive directly into how they’re going to get with white women – then say something NEGATIVE about light skin men – and how they aren’t real black men, or that they can’t fight, or lay the pipe down like “US DARK SKIN MANLY BROTHAS!”

    A lot of black folks are just sick in the head.

    Black women just make it BLATANT ON THEIR BLOCKS –

    Promoting black women and wanting appreciation for dark skin – but yet aren’t even GOING TO PRODUCE THAT.

    Yea ok… :-/

  • Perspective

    added to my comment. The problem is – sista want VALIDATION – not love!

  • Perspective

    Or better said – “This is not about LOVE – this is about VALIDATION!”

  • I got sense!

    I too love me some Tonton but I can see how he is too blunt for some to handle. I’m not a sugar-coated kinda gal so I like my men blunt and to the point. Cuts out on a lot of confusion and misinterpretation.

  • Nomadic

    Its good for guys to come by these sites to see how our other half thinks

  • I got sense!

    Love this comment. Like
    thereluctantsocialite said, I don’t get why some men’s comments are getting thumb down. But I have seen that unless the comment is obviously insulting the thumb down count is extremely low in comparison to he number of clicks an article gets and/or the number of comments an article receives. That makes me think that the trolls are both male and female. Like some women who are holding a grudge against particular commenters and thumbs down all their comments out of spite.


    There is a website called

    It was created to counter the internet attacks against black women:

    “The purpose of this website is to expose the internet attacks aimed specifically at Black women. The constant bashing of black women on YouTube on internet forums and on blogs is not only discriminatory, but it is potentially damaging to the self esteem of young black girls and women who come across these internet attacks on Black women.”

    Asia McGowen was a 20 year old black college student that was murdered by Anthony Powell (black male). He was a hard core black woman hater. One of his You Tube videos was titled “Black Women Don’t Deserve Respect”. She put up videos disagreeing with him. He tracked her down and shot her in class at the college she attended.

    There is an article about her murder at

  • I got sense!

    And you know that’s it true. Look at how many thumbs down these two above comments (and most likely mine too) have received. Also it holds true in the number of thumbs down. Consistently, if the comment is unpopular it gets thumb downed, not necessarily if the comment is derogatory or insulting.

  • I got sense!

    And women should do the same.

  • I got sense!


  • Sweetles

    ” Like some women who are holding a grudge against particular commenters and thumbs down all their comments out of spite”

    And that happens a lot….

  • I got sense!


  • Pam

    ” Like some women who are holding a grudge against particular commenters and thumbs down all their comments out of spite” — Exactly!

  • LadyP

    Another beautiful young lady gone too soon…this was so sad!

  • SimplyMe

    I have to agree with your original sentiment and that of the last friend you mentioned. It’s the same reason why there are sooooo many racist comments on ites like Youtube and others. Racists, mysoginists, have found it counterproductive to be OPENLY racist or mysognistic so they “troll” behind a computer screen to express their real feelings.

  • I got sense!

    You do realize that not every biracial person has light skin and not every non-biracial person has dark skin? Don’t you! Because your post surely didn’t elude to that. And the last time I checked our president self identifies as and will only ever be seen as a black man. Biracial people will never be white in white people’s eyes. So a black man isn’t necessary to create a black child, just one black parent.

    These are not my person views but those of the world I live in. Biracial black people are seen as black by the dominate culture and will never be seen as just white.

  • Sweetles

    What is disgusting is that you resorted to name calling just because you don’t like her views. Would it be appropriate to call you a troll? The even sadder part is that you got a number of thumbs-up. A lot of you aren’t interested in respectful dialogue. Whenever someone posts an unpopular opinion, or chooses not to participate in group-think, you start in on that commentator. That is the thing about this forum. I’ve learned that differing points of views really aren’t welcome, and that many of you really do just want to co-sign each other to death.

  • I got sense!

    In many, not all cases, I agree with you. And I do so because of the way so many women take abnormal (and often times destructive) behavior and attempt to make it normal. I am thinking specifically of welfare. I personally know so many women getting government assistance and were aided by other women (on government assistance) on the tips and tricks to get it. It’s very sad because its a vicious cycle that was originally meant to be TEMPORARY help but has turned not a way to control and deny future success. I see these same women who claimed they needed help to take care of the child they didn’t plan for have another then another then another? How can you ask for a hand out to take care of your child and then continue to have more children? I just don’t get it, except tht it’s a means to control. It controls all those that get sucked up in it.

  • Chelle

    I think it also should be said, Anthony, that we don’t need “Yes men” either. You come off as genuine so regardless of your POV it will be received well. Any woman that jumps down you’re throat for respectfully giving an opinion is no better than the trolls.

    Maybe I’m speaking for myself but I rather get the good with the bad from a man who’s genuine like yourself. There’s a difference in saying, “Yes I have seen a lot of black women walking around with extra weight,” than, “Yeah I’m leaving all ya’ll black women for white women cuz ya’ll b*tches is fat.”

    A man can be stating facts but when you get condescending it turns to pure f*ckery and detracts from whatever statement he’s trying to make.

    Hope you stay and hang with us :)

  • __A

    I have no problem with some of the male commenters. They seem to be type trying to understand women. There is one guy in particular who thinks he is a “real man” giving his simple opinion to curing our issues (getting in the kitchen, giving up control, being dependent on men). And there are many of them who obviously hate black women. From their comments, it is obvious that they have a hatred for black women because of the women that they want rejecting them. It’s a lot of mentally unstable men “cosigning themselves to death” about why what they’re doing is okay.

    Someone mentioned Anthony Powell below. This man made plenty of videos talking about how black women love thugs and nice guys finishing last. In his deranged mind, he was a nice guy. And many of his supporters think he is a nice guy and felt more sympathy for him than Asia. To a lot of them, she was some haughty “female” that rejected a good guy pushing him over the edge just like Kassandra Perkins must have pushed Belcher over the edge according to these misogynists. These types of men feel entitled to women not just any woman but pretty ones with nice figures. They think because they are “nice guys” they “deserve” a woman and they get angry when women go looking for handsome guys with nice figures.

    A lot of these guys are crazy. They talk about interracial dating like it’s a weapon, yet they stay talking about us. It’s like go be at peace with your non-black woman. No. These guys are still obsessed with us and their hatred. It’s pathetic. And for the preachers that think they are dropping some knowledge, it’s very obvious that many of them are sexist. No woman is going to listen to your sexist comments and yes they will get voted down. There are plenty of sites and YouTube channels devoted to encouraging the hatred of black women. The ones who come here are like emotional abusers trying to tear your self esteem down. It’s not enough to cosign each other about their hatred. What they really want is a bunch of low self-esteem dependent women groveling at their feet. If a Clutch reader has low self-esteem these comments might hurt, but for me a lot of times, they are so absurd I just have to giggle.

  • isolde3

    “Is Chilly the poster Acai Santiago.”


    No, Sis. Acai was much smarter and not nearly as basic. Chilly Jester of New Castle Road is usually just sloppy and dim, which is why she’s so easy to drag.

  • GangStarr Girl

    It’s interesting that this post actually attracted the trolls that it talks about–of course they missed the point! Most of the comments that I’ve read on here from men are condescending, obnoxious and clearly evident that the men who comment on posts like this ie. trolls, don’t want to understand women better. It’s either that or they lack the emotional intelligence enough to try. The problem isn’t “bitter” or “misinformed” women like a lot of them seem to think. It’s the fact that they’re blinded by their own issues and patriarchal privilege to see what’s wrong with themselves and examine their own beliefs and actions! It’s not that we don’t like what men have to save say because we can’t handle it, it’s that the “knowledge” that men think they’re kicking is ill-informed and we’re frustrated that they’re not getting the message. Bottom line, there’s no reason to be offended or defensive if you’re not guilty of the belief systems discussed in this piece.

    Then again, you can’t reason with someone who doesn’t want to be reasoned with, so whatever. I say, if it makes them feel better to attack women online as opposed to physically, in person, then so be it.

    “Men” like these make me even more thankful that I married a logical man who doesn’t have issues with women, lord knows I’ve dated enough of the opposite. Thank goodness for growth.

  • Honest

    The same reason why we need fathers in the home. It is a CIVILIZING influence.

    When women get together, they spew all kinds of BS.

    Men like myself need to check women when they spew BS.

    But it is incredible now, that we see Ms. Luca & her gallery try to shame the men & women that refuse to subscribe to feminist drivel.

    It destroying our communities, but yet you want to double down on it.


  • Treece

    @ Perspective – Peace Out!!

  • mr.vicious

    stop focusing on semantic disputes, and address the issues and hand.
    He is right, the ir crew wouldnt complain about wm posters at all. It will be seen as a validation badge for this site.
    Its never a problem, until bm start doing it. It meaning “voicing an opinion”

  • Treece

    “Men, generally, are solvers and when women have issues,” “Some men believe a simple opinion will cure their issues and voila … problem solved.”

    “Men are perpetually trying to figure out the foreign specie that is the female human,” “Once men discover the truth, they’re not willing to accept it and become combative toward it.”

    “Another guy confirmed a theory about these males: “They are there to prey upon any weak-minded women and portray themselves as ‘real men’,”

    “On the low, a lot of dudes HATE women,” he said. “This is a vehicle for them to let out their anger bitterness, frustration and venom.”

    Ding, ding, ding! All of these summed it up! They are all right. Men think they know everything, or that they should know how to fix everything. So when they have nothing else better to do with thier time (yes, part of it is that they have no life and want attention…even if it’s negative), they troll women’s blogs to give their two cents. When that two cents is actually as inaccurate as a 7 dollar bill, they get angry b/c thier egos and machismo got hurt (by a woman!) and post ridiculous, jacked up summations of what THEY believe woman are and how we think. This comes from a deep (sometimes undiscovered) hatred of women that stems from childhood (i.e. Mommy issues), or a few bad break ups with women that were less than stellar examples of wives/girlfriends. So, they spew thier bitterness and what the BELIEVE they know about women on a blog site tailored towards women to “enlighten” us with what a “real man” thinks about us. To let us know whats wrong with all of us so we can “act right”. Off some ol’ “Why can’t Black women just submit and conform already” bullsh**….. Having a site like Clutch just gives us space to expres our own views and have discuss about our own issues and God forbid we not welcome them and ask for thier opinions! Control, bitterness, lack of understanding, lack of willingness to understand, huge egos, thats what this is all about

  • Do better

    Do you think someone as petty and accusatory as you seem on this website is capable of love? Or do you equate “love” with a man desiring to copulate with a woman like an ape. Elaborate.

  • Do better


  • AM

    I miss whoever Acai was! We once got into it, INTELLECTUALLY-so the intellectually dimwittedness does not hold!! lool.

  • AM


    I was the FIRST one to express romantic interest, NEVER forget, ever!

  • AM


    girrrrrrrrrrl, I seen your comments, RAW! I like bluntness. What I don’t like is rudeness.

  • Ms. Information

    lol….Hey Mami!!! AM….I thought you had James…lol..I thought Ravi was mine…lol

  • JN

    I’m good, how are you AM!

  • JN

    Ravi belongs to me ladies! HANDS OFF!

  • Honest


  • LMO85

    Thank you for this comment all day long.

  • LMO85

    Agree with your comment Kacey-but then you can stretch it out across this Society-that is one of the biggest problems that I have been writing about on these webpages. MEN NEED TO HOLD MEN ACCOUNTABLE. But see that doesn’t happen across the board.

  • LMO85

    Sounds like you need to read a book or three. It is called, ‘Emotional Intelligence’. Look it up, read about it, learn about it, then come back and try again. Thanks for playing.

  • Nomadic

    This is so old, like 4-5 years old

  • Anorexicbob

    You’ve slightly misrepresented the Powell/McGowen case. He did not “track her down” and shoot her because of a video. Anthony and Asia attended the same JC together and actually had a class with each other.

    Anthony was obsessed with her and some other females, and it was obvious to many of us that it was unhealthy. Several of us told him that he was getting too obsessed with chicks he barely even knew. He even talked about taking Asia out and spending money on her in an effort to get her to like him. Most told him to let go of that idea and to stop obsessing over her. Many of us told him that he was being a simp and that he needed to stop fantasying over certain women and start working on himself.

    I and several others told him that he needed to start learning to respect and value himself with a man before he started trying to pursue romantic relationships with women. Several players tried to lace him with game but it was hopeless. He continued to fantasy over women he barely knew or didn’t know at all. No one made Tony out to be some type of hero. Many felt sympathy for him because he was fucked up !!! Literally he was mentally ill and he stopped taking his medication (confirmed by his parents). Many saw the train wreck coming and I myself expected him to eventually blow his head off , but I never imagined that he would kill that young woman. One of the guys (Trag i think) on Youtube even called the Detroit Police days before the shooting happened but nothing came of it.

    While some guys felt bad for Tony, most felt even worse for Asia McGowen because she was innocent, she didn’t do anything to deserve being murdered. She didn’t really even know Tony. Tony fantasied about her because he said she wasn’t the typical black woman ( she was skinny and positive minded) and when he realized that his (unrealistic) fantasy wasn’t going to come true, he snapped finally. That’s his fault , not her’s.

    While i feel bad for both of them, I feel far worse for her . I and others felt bad for Tony because he was Mentally ill but I would have rather he had blown just his own head off and left her alone.

    This has nothing to do with woman-hating. Most of us that conversed with him came to realize that he wasn’t mentality stable enough to have a relationship with a woman. Tony’s problem wasn’t that he hated black women, his problem was that he was BLOODY SICK !

    Anthony Powell does not represent black men who have honest criticism of CERTAIN black women. Hell EVEN THE DUDES FROM BLACK MEN VENT BANNED HIM !

  • omfg

    well-said _A

    i generally stay away from people i dislike. but they can’t stay away from us. they are really funny, in a sad sort of way.

    i want to give them my pity but i fear they are not every worthy of that.

  • maxineshawattyatlaw

    But putting up a wall of silence would require you to stop coming here and talking to us which for some reason y’all just won’t do

  • omfg

    actually tim, as hard it is for you to believe, there are a couple of sites, run by nonblack males that seek to elevate and glorify black women.

    smh. your attempt to put down black by insinuating that nobody would want them is an epic fail.

    ha ha. jokes on you suckaaaaa.

  • Okay

    So then your just anti any all female gatherings hmm? No more baby showers, or bridal showers ladies. The men have spoken. Those types of functions are just downright dangerous and ripping apart the fabric of society!

  • Okay

    LOL. Try for starters.

  • EST. 1986

    “Like some women who are holding a grudge against particular commenters and thumbs down all their comments out of spite.”

    I, too think that this happens.

  • Zabeth

    Does anyone else smell the entitlement reeking from the above statement? This is the crux of most of the problem.

  • carebear

    Black women created the beauty standard? Did u really just say the beauty standard in the black community was created by black women?

  • Mademoiselle

    Idk… It seems kind of backwards to dedicate an entire article to trolls… Isn’t attention a large part of what they’re going for? This article might as well have been a love letter to them — it’s just going to draw them in even more because they just got confirmation that they are relevant.


    The readers of Clutch can read the article at http://www.what and decide for themselves if Asia’s homicide was a result of the black woman hatred spread by black male misogynist that proliferated on You Tube at the time of the murder. Black women at about 8% of the U.S. population but are 22% of the domestic violence homicides.

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