Celibate For All The Wrong Reasons
It feels like everyday another celebrity is announcing their celibacy to the world and in a culture obsessed with sex, it’s refreshing. But the downside to this trend is when the decision to become celibate seems more like a ploy, than an informed choice.
There are people who become celibate because of religion like Meghan Good and Jessica White, who revealed her celibacy to Page Six Magazine recently, saying: “Celibacy is a choice that every woman has to make for herself. [...] I’ve made a lot of bad decisions, but God led me to such a beautiful place when I turned 27 [in June 2011]-it was a pivotal moment. I started feeling more beautiful. I felt like I’d never been so happy. The light bulb turned on for me. This is the new journey. I feel like I’m starting over.”
But there are those who believe that becoming celibate makes them pure, which would then make sex a dirty offense. Clutch reader kamille writes: “I respect people’s religious beliefs and motivations and whatnot. But I have a problem with this whole remaining ‘pure’ as a motivation, mostly on the part of women. As if sex is somehow dirty, well then nature must be one dirty mothertrucka then.”
And then, some people are confused about what celibacy actually entails. As Clutch reader Pseudonym said: “I’m more offended by the faux celibacy that has become a trend. Everyone’s claiming to be celibate until they have sex next time they get a boyfriend. That is NOT celibacy. That’s called not having sex with randoms. There’s a HUGE difference.”
I applaud celibacy and am celibate myself for religious reasons, but I do agree with both of these readers. Too many people are using celibacy as a way to appear purer than people who do have sex; or as a tool to determine if a partner is “really in love,” and will give up sex for the relationship. It’s also frustrating to see people claim celibacy after a breakup then have sex as soon as they’re in a new relationship. That misses the point of celibacy altogether.
It sounds like these celebs and people who choose to not have sex outside of religious reasons are just using the wrong word. They’re abstaining from sex, which would be no sex for some limited amount of time. Celibacy at its core is based in religion, if I’m not mistaken, so I can totally see the point of the article.
Clutch is getting weird….how is any reason behind being celibate is wrong?
I do have to second this – however – I believe the issue is the sincerity with which these statement are made.
Anyone who is celibate DOESN’T HAVE TO ANNOUNCE IT – they just are. Nowadays – its like women announce this to get brownie points.
I’m more impressed with men say it – because popular culture suggest that a man should be sleeping with everything and get PRAISE FOR IT.
So if a Lupe Fiasco type says I’m celibate – I’m like – “WOW!” talk about against the grain.
I think the issue is that women have BUST into the male realm so much so – and are realizing that you get no KUDOS for it.
As an older woman told another woman I know.
“Competing with men in all areas isn’t going to make you happy, and it’s not going to make them like you”
I must agree with @Perspective. When men announce their celibacy (even though, it is a private manner) it does seem more worthy. Society is more acceptable with men sleeping around. So when these women announce their decision, it does seem as if a brownie should be given out. Women don’t give second thoughts to there is a difference with them sleeping with 200+ men verse a man sleeping with 200+ women. My God, BOTH are nasty!!! The difference is a woman’s reputation will follow her around forever, and a day ; so maybe this is why female celebrities are making their announcement public. I know that is sort of old-fashion thinking, but having my grandmother as such an influential part of my life. I can’t separate from the difference of a man and a woman when it comes to sexual needs. Yes, we love sex just as much, but we will be judged differently.
On another note, I must comment on Pseudonym’s statement. It was simply perfect. I know the question was about celibacy as a trend, but reading Pseudonym’s statement. I couldn’t help but think this is a great “teaching” statement. It was perfect b/c this is a culture obsessed with sex. Sex and more sex is what our youth hears and sees. They aren’t given any messages at all, but just to do it. Coming from this perspective, our youth need to understand what celibacy is first. Then the differences between it, waiting for the special one, or once the “right time” presents itself. Not providing youth with options, but explaining to them what the differences are. In order that they may understand sex is “not dirty”, but very enjoyable. If they are bed hopping, it is taking away from the beauty of it and those actions make sex dirty. This is precisely why there is HUGE difference between celibacy and sleeping with random people. For our youth, give them a choice and not allow society to engrave their spirits with sex whereas they must start early. It can be a choice to wait.
I said that wrong: So when these men announce their decision, it seems as if a brownie should be given to them.
Celibate for all the wrong reasons? Whatever the reasoning may be, I’m glad to hear that there are people willing to forego sex, and consequently reduce their risk for STIs & unplanned pregnancy *insert Kanye shrug*