It feels like everyday another celebrity is announcing their celibacy to the world and in a culture obsessed with sex, it’s refreshing. But the downside to this trend is when the decision to become celibate seems more like a ploy, than an informed choice.

There are people who become celibate because of religion like Meghan Good and Jessica White, who revealed her celibacy to Page Six Magazine recently, saying: “Celibacy is a choice that every woman has to make for herself. [...] I’ve made a lot of bad decisions, but God led me to such a beautiful place when I turned 27 [in June 2011]-it was a pivotal moment. I started feeling more beautiful. I felt like I’d never been so happy. The light bulb turned on for me. This is the new journey. I feel like I’m starting over.”

But there are those who believe that becoming celibate makes them pure, which would then make sex a dirty offense. Clutch reader kamille writes: “I respect people’s religious beliefs and motivations and whatnot. But I have a problem with this whole remaining ‘pure’ as a motivation, mostly on the part of women. As if sex is somehow dirty, well then nature must be one dirty mothertrucka then.”

And then, some people are confused about what celibacy actually entails. As Clutch reader Pseudonym said: “I’m more offended by the faux celibacy that has become a trend. Everyone’s claiming to be celibate until they have sex next time they get a boyfriend. That is NOT celibacy. That’s called not having sex with randoms. There’s a HUGE difference.”

I applaud celibacy and am celibate myself for religious reasons, but I do agree with both of these readers. Too many people are using celibacy as a way to appear purer than people who do have sex; or as a tool to determine if a partner is “really in love,” and will give up sex for the relationship. It’s also frustrating to see people claim celibacy after a breakup then have sex as soon as they’re in a new relationship. That misses the point of celibacy altogether.

What do you think about celibacy as a trend, Clutchettes? Is there a right or wrong reason to become celibate?

40 Comments

  1. Celibate for all the wrong reasons? Whatever the reasoning may be, I’m glad to hear that there are people willing to forego sex, and consequently reduce their risk for STIs & unplanned pregnancy *insert Kanye shrug*

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  2. elyse

    LOL…I didn’t know you needed a reason to be celibate. Maybe some folks just wake up and say “I don’t wanna have sex anymore”. And more power to them. And these celebs aren’t BROADCASTING their celibacy, nosy journalist ask them about it, they answer.

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  3. I’m almost not surprised that this is the new trend..i mean look at all the rap songs mocking Christianity, mocking our creator. Its ridiculous! So of course celebs are going to come forth claiming their celibacy in hopes to stay on the blogs and twitter. I am not happy with this ploy of ignorance educating ignorance.

    Open your bibles people and really get educated on the topic! Sex creates soul ties which should only be made between two married people. That’s why you cant sleep with the next hot thing that walks into your life. Guard your heart. guard your mind, guard your spirit! Your creating soul ties with people your not even talking to 6 months down the line. Celibacy protects your spirit and is nothing to be played around with.

    But then again rappers are saying church and amen in the same sentence with other vulgar words and chicks are half naked in the club rocking cross earrings and necklaces so I digress.

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    • victoria

      Great comment

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    • Overseas_Honeybee

      @billie. You betta speak that truth. Soul ties are very real. Sex is a covenant to “tie” a husband and wife together physically and spirtually. Until I was taught about soul ties, I could never figure out why I was having such a hard time letting go of this person or struggling to simply move on. The issues we face today (i.e. STDS, unplanned pregnancies etc.) are all consequences to going against the order God has put in place. Bottom line. I was sexually active in the past but made a conscious choice to become celibate when I became serious about serving God.It’s a personal choice that works for me. I don’t have to shout it from the roof tops or remind everybody about why I’m “not doin'” it. Celibacy does not make you pure … its what’s in your heart that does.

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    • “Celibacy does not make you pure, its what’s in your heart that does.”
      Boom. Pat. POOOOOOWWWW!!!!!!!!!!
      2 Timothy 2:22. That is all.

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    • You’re kidding me, right? Welcome to the 21st century. Celibacy doesn’t protect you any more than chastity pins do. Lol

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  4. Perspective

    This one is going into the MEMORY BANKS – for the next time I come on clutch and the women are talking about waiting and all that for Mr. Right and how black men don’t want to settle down – BE FOREWARNED. This blog has been filed.

    Now getting into the topic

    Statement:
    ““Celibacy is a choice that every woman has to make for herself. [...] I’ve made a lot of bad decisions, but God led me to such a beautiful place when I turned 27 [in June 2011]-it was a pivotal moment. I started feeling more beautiful. I felt like I’d never been so happy. The light bulb turned on for me. This is the new journey. I feel like I’m starting over.””

    Response:
    “Too many people are using celibacy as a way to appear purer than people who do have sex; or as a tool to determine if a partner is “really in love,” and will give up sex for the relationship. ”

    Exactly!!!!!!!!

    Men have been calling this out for YEARS! Now you see what men are talking about.

    Oh I gave it up to the whole block, or I gave it up to your boy – BUT NOW I’M CELIBATE UNTIL I FIND THE RIGHT MAN BECAUSE “WHITE JESUS” HAS SHOWN ME THE LIGHT.

    BM – (in unison) – “AWWWWWW MAN, CHICK! GTFOH!!!!!!!”

    “GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT SUGAR AND SPICE DUMBNESS – I HEARD YOU WERE A FREAK.”

    Just be who you are! Stop with the faking like your cave the unknown and undiscovered with a secret treasure at the bottom of it.

    Yes ladies I know about the double standard. It is what it is. All I’m saying is BE SMART – keep your business on the LOW – and just do you. Most men know it’s unreasonable to go out here looking for a virgin these days, unless you are plucking them fresh out of HS or the first 2 years in college. Shoot – THE FIRST SEMESTER OF COLLEGE. After than? Some women are like bathrooms with permanent markers on the wall – LETTING YOU KNOW – “BOBBY WAS HERE!” Some men don’t even leave a signature – just a stupid face cartoon or something, like damn!? HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?! Must have been a Grey Goose Night.

    “NO I’M REALLY A GOOD GIRL! HE TRICKED ME!”

    Stop lying chick – my boy already told me. He didn’t even tell me the story, we just got in the car and he threw on a track.

    \(..\) FROM THE WINDOW!!!!!! … (/..)/ TO THE WALLLLLLLLLL – Till the ….

    Me: “OH WORD!”

    Brotha: “Yes, my ninja!”

    Me: “Damn and all these years I was thinkin… she was…”

    Brotha: “Hate to break it to you man!”

    Me: “Man I was gonna make her my wife!”

    Brotha: “Come on man – who you foolin?”

    Pause…. think about it… wait some more… (awkward moment of silence)

    Me: “Ahhhhhhhh – you right you right!”
    Brotha: nods in agreement.

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    • Trinity

      @Perspective

      Now I can’t let you write comments like that. I just don’t believe sisters are thattt bad. You have gone entirely too far. “Some women are like bathrooms with permanent markers on the wall – LETTING YOU KNOW – “BOBBY WAS HERE!” Some men don’t even leave a signature – just a stupid face cartoon or something, like damn!? HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?! Must have been a Grey Goose Night.” – Boy Bye! Yes, I am laughing a little, but you can’t talk about women like that. It more women left than have slept around than you think.

      And yes I can laugh and comment. Before you come for me, just know there’s no need. Good day, Sir! Have a nice evening!

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  5. Marie

    Celibate for the wrong reasons? The nerve of this article! That’s part of the problem with the world today folks thinking they can judge or try to control the freedom of others. If Jessica is celibate for 5 years or 5 minutes, that’s her business and since she is grown, however she came to the decision is a good reason.

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