Could being raised by in a low-income household by a single mother set a student up for failure? That’s one professor strongly believes.

Lino Gragalia, a University of Texas Law School professor, told BBC that he believed many black and Hispanic students are failing academically because they were raised in single parent homes by females who lacked the socioeconomic wealth that is necessary to push them towards success.

He told the British news organization that he could “hardly imagine a less beneficial or more deleterious experience than to be raised by a single parent, usually female, uneducated and without a lot of money.”

Gragalia also expressed his distaste for institutions that seek to increase diversity.

“How well do these kids do in maths and reading is basically it and they do less well. No doubt the race and segregation may have a lot to do why that’s the case, but it is the case and what to do about it now? And admitting them into selective schools with large gaps in qualification is not the answer.”

Representatives from the League of United Latin American Citizens were offended by the comments, calling for the resignation of Graglia from his UT position.

“Graglia believes that minority students come from a culture of failure. He knows nothing of our culture and has never crawled down from his ivory tower to find out.”

Graglia’s outspoken banter on race and success is not the only story to arise from the Lone Star state. The University of Texas is currently dealing with an affirmative action case in the Supreme Court after Abigal Fisher, a white student who was rejected from UT, filed a complaint claiming that her race was the reason why she was forced to attend a second-tier college.

  • ?

    Did not read the article because I will not take the bait this morning. I WILL NOT! LOL! Everybody be blessed.

  • myblackfriendsays

    Doesn’t research support his premise about single mothers? Children in single parent households (_especially_ low-income ones,) are at risk for a lot of different things.

    Many parents strive to make more money because the thinking is,
    more money in my household=more opportunities for my kid?

    Of course, there are exceptions to every rule–but I am not sure why his comments are surprising.

  • nona

    This is a hard truth, but a truth none the less. Many black and hispanic students DO come from low income, single mother homes (compared to white and Asian), and many of them fail academically and/or have no drive or push in the first place. It’s not racism, it just means that it’s very hard to encourage academics and have the money to enrich a child’s life when you’re working all the time just to pay rent. A parent can’t be bothered to pay for dance classes or sports when they’re trying to make rent, they can’t sit down and start discussing college in 7th grade. It’s sad but true.

  • Beautiful Mic

    It’s not the marital status of the parent, or whether or not they are female, it’s the lack of moral support and familial involvement. Because a 2 parent home can yield a student that has the shame issue. Where as many single mother household offer college bound and enrolled students a positive foundation from which they can progressively evolve from.

  • Coqui

    Wow, let’s see, I was raised in public housing, by a single Black mother and I have a PhD in biological sciences, advise members of Congress, set policy at the state level and work with Federal Cabinet Agencies. I am such a failure…. imagine what I might have accomplished if i hadn’t been born poor and Black with a substandard mother.
    “Professor” Gragalia has no scholarship in minority issues, specializing in anti-trust law. What would he know about anything related to poor minority households?

  • Malik Hemmans

    Do you know how boring it is for Black Children to sit in school for 18+ years and learn about White History?

  • MimiLuvs

    (reads headline)
    Oh boy. Today is going to be one of those days.

  • Coqui

    With all due respect, Nona, many parents do just that.
    Single mothers want their children to succeed just like everyone else. Poor mothers want their children to succeed like everyone else. What they lack is the resources to make it happen, not because they are working too hard. Parents of color have always worked too hard, but that didn’t mean they didn’t strive for better. You can’t really know any poor parents of color to make such an uninformed statement.

  • Ms. Information

    Ok…Whites are NOT inherently smarter than blacks…Economics, white supremacy, poverty ALL play a place in a child’s development….saying that, for most of my childhood, I was raised by a single mother..I excelled academically and ended up testing at a genius level later on in life…my mother encouraged reading and rewarded academic excellence…a GOOD mother can overcome some of the barriers that are placed before black people.

  • Keepitreal

    “hardly imagine a less beneficial or more deleterious experience than to be raised by a single parent, usually female, uneducated and without a lot of money.”

    All sorts of truth from this quote but of course the PC police would prefer to get angry at the messenger. Just how many studies will be needed before anyone with an ounce of common sense comes to the conclusion that a single mother household is not the ideal?

    And before anyone rushes in here with “They do it too” or “white supremacy” blah blah blah, this is NOT us, even during the worst times to be black in this country, we kept the family in tact.

    A marriage-less society (man not in the home) sounds simple and easy enough, however, it has never been proven in the history of civilization to work and produce a productive civilized society.

    Blacks brought the liberal, “no judgements!”, “You’re okay, I’m okay” spiel hook line and sinker from the very people who have the most to gain from our detriment. And as this cycle continues to destroy the black community these propagandists go off to their 2 parent homes in their safe little neighborhoods without nary a thought for us….that is, until election time.

  • Ms. Information

    At the end of the day, we are responsible for ourselves, I think that many of us began to beleive what people said about us (lazy, unmarried, stupid) and began to act accordlingly.


    Ah yes, as expected, but but I was raised by a single mother and look at me!!!!
    For every Barack raised by a single mother there are many more Ray Rays and Kekes who end up in jail, drop out of high school, join gangs, become teen mothers and the list goes on.

  • Nicoline

    I dont know but there might be some truth to this if he had of left out the word minority. I can see how someone whose raised in a single “poor” parent home (whether its a single dad or mother) fail more in school. After a single parent comes home from work and feeds their kids their tired they don’t have someone else to “pass” the torch too so they can rest.

    I grew up in a two parent home. When I got home from school at 3 my mom would come home from work bring us a after school snack, give us a list of chores and go through our backpacks and agenda planners to see what we needed to complete for the evening then go back into work for another few hours. We had a home office full of encyclopedias and a computer and a laptop; things that someone who’s parent is “poor” might not have.

    My father and my mother were very involved in school. My school offered weekly progress reports and every Friday my parents would go over them. They went to every parent teacher conference. When my brother was having problems at school my mom and dad took turns sitting in his classes (he’s really smart; but disruptive).

  • Beautiful Mic

    Part of the adversity many single-mom parented college bound kids face is the stigma associated with coming from that background, especial if it’s a low-socio economic background; and especially if the single-parent isn’t involved in their child’s academics or has played a major part in disrupting cultivation and healthy relationships for their child outside the home, with other people related to the child, or with the child’s father.

    It’s not just that single-mom parented stigma coming from white main stream society that one has to deal with, but they face the same stigma from other blacks, too.

    Many single-mom parented children want to attend and do well in college, but they simply don’t have a ‘support system’ that will allow them to evolve in away that makes them capable of doing so But anyone, no matter their background, can lack the same thing and end up in the same place of not achieving higher eduation.


    His comments are not surprising but it will have the baby mommas and those raised by one in here on the defensive pretending the exception is the rule.

  • Sweetles

    The self fulfilling prophecy…

  • I love you Michelle

    Yes I agree,
    Coming from a single parent family their was actually more encouragement to do well so we could better our situation. My mother has four children and the requirement was the library and jehovah are your best friends. Education was key. I have memories of seeing my dads back walking out the house and my mum trying to make ends meet. When I dont feel like studying I remember these images and think come on get on with it so one day I can buy my mum what ever her heart kraves for. I am currently studying my PHd my brother is a teacher and my younger sister is a social worker. We are black British west indians who’s stats dont ever seem to be counted.

  • Me

    You are the exception not the rule

  • Trinity

    I cannot cosign on the fact that minority students [exclusively] fail because of being raised by single poor women. If that is the case, no child from a single parent home will never exceed or everhas in the past. So we can safely conclude that it is conditions in which determines how a child will academically perform. Two-single parents – one parent’s job has been downsized – the other parent has to work two jobs to cover the bills. A two-parent home now has the same problematic conditions of a single parent home. Financial hardship is the problem and not the child’s family arrangement. The child doesn’t have help with homework, cannot attend tutoring (which offered free at more affluent schools) and attending extra-curricular activities is problem. The financial challenged child may or may not have problems succeeding. Since single parents are faced with more financial challenges, then it is more of a possibility “to believe” that those children may not succeed.

    Within this scenario, are family members helping the single parent with her children? What is the relationship she has with her child’s school? Car-pooling with neighbors to take her children b&f from extra-curricular activities? Depending on the single parent’s desire for her children to succeed, her children will. I won’t deny I’ve seen too many failures within single parent homes. At the same time, I’ve seen plenty of success. The parents were 100% dedicated to their child’s success. If they couldn’t make it happen, they seek out assistance to make it happened. And this is how we hear of academic success from students residing in single-parent homes.

  • Trinity


  • Smilez_920

    For the most part a parent’s education, financial status and access to resources play a big part in a child’s success.

    When they do studies, family structure and size is one element they are going to examine. In a lot of urban improvised neighborhoods the majority of the children are raised by single mothers . I’m not saying single mothers aren’t capable of being great parents, or raising great kids, but it’s a fact that they are the majority in a lot of these improvised communities .

    Money, education and opportunity: in these communities the high school drop out rates out high and even if a student graduates , the graduation rates are low and even when they do graduate , the rate of hs graduates going to college , trade school etc… Isn’t very high. There’s a great chance that if your parent did not graduate high school, or barely made it out, they will have a hard time assisting you with homework, reading writing etc… On top of that the parent probably doesn’t have the financial resources to provide their child with outside help.

    Attitude: it’s not that these women don’t want their children to succeeded , but it can be very frustrating and depressing to want to help yourself and your child, but not know where to go or what resources to use to get out of a certain situation.

    Yes there are exceptions to the rule. Yes there are success stories of poor minority children , raised by single mothers who make it out of poverty and are successful. But those stories are not the majority of the stories that are coming out of these neighborhoods. Those children are the exception. We need to find a way to make success in these neighborhood the expectation and not the exception. We also need to stop placing blame and create a solution to the issue at hand.

  • B

    high Illegitimacy leads to high academic failure, high academic failure leads to high drop out rates, high drop out rates leads to high rates of unemployment, high rates of unemployment leads to high rates of poverty, high rates of poverty leads to high rates of crime. All of which lead to dysfunctional homes and dysfunctional communities. After three to four generations of legions of baby mamma kids running wild terrorizing the black community and having more baby mama kids. We now know the truth.Can a child raised by a single parent become productive? OF COURSE THEY CAN! Can a community with 72% of it’s kids become productive?Who cares if 2 or 3 black kids out of 10 become successful and productive if the remaining 7 black kids fall through the cracks and perish? The community is still going to be dysfunctional.

  • Kam

    Well Blacks could open their own schools….and well, Asians have to sit in school 18+ years and learn the same history.

  • Kam

    Actually the linked article is from the Daily Mail which is a known tabloid in the UK, but for some reason Americans think it is a legitimate source of news. I found a clip of the actual interview on Gawker and his remarks are much more subdued than both articles make it out to be. Essentially he states that he doesn’t know why Blacks underperform, but that race and segregation plays a role and certainly being born to a poor single parent certainly doesn’t help. It sounds like he doesn’t believe in affirmative action, but the other things he mentioned have all been studied.

  • bk chick

    I’m not so mad at the message as I am by the intent of the messenger. As a black person, it is frustrating to see some of the horrid statistics behind education in the black community and the factors of poverty, single mother hood, etc. I’m frustrated cuz I want us, as a group, to excel and do better. This guy sound like he’s pointing out these stats because he would like a justification for ending affirmative action, or securing more places in top schools for whites and decreasing the competition for whites against blacks an Hispanics. Same message, different intent.

  • The Other Jess

    That’s funny because obviously my grandmother’s (on both sides of the family) raised both my parents so well that all 5 of their kids grew up to earn Master’s degrees and PhD’s, travel to every continent (including Antarctica!) in the world, and be successful, intelligent, professionals.

    And who defines failure? Madoff is a failure and a crook, Blago is a failed politician and crook by legal standards, and plenty of other non-minority people from 2-parent households are sitting up in jail or on the welfare right now.

    These white people and their “research” need to take a flying leap. There are many factors that can influence the success or failure of “minority students” , not just the singleness of their parents.

  • Mo

    I love how he assumes that all minorities are from poor backgrounds. Did he have any opinions about poor white students? I didn’t think so.

  • Solutions

    Ok, what can be done to put an end or at least a dent in the number of single mothers?
    Are we doomed?
    Anyone have suggestions on a grand scale?
    Anyone have suggestions on a small community scale?

    I’m beginning to lose hope in my people. Is it too late?

  • Smilez_920

    Of course the women’s relationship status is not the main issue. But it plays a part when you include other factors like finanaces. (when I say single mother in referring to a woman who is getting no type of help from the father. )

    One example two parents in most cases equals two income. More income that can be used to help the child progress. ( paying for tutoring , after school programs etc…)

    This article focuses on one group of single mothers ( poor and uneducated ) . There are single mothers who are educated and financially stable.

    Again there are success stories but those children / ppl are the exception . The goal is to make those stories ( like your own) the norm. ( single mother or two family household. )

    Not saying I’m a fan of this professors research , but his research has other factors, unfortunately he focused on the singleness of the morher to get media attention.

  • Richelle

    I am the youngest of 4. I grew up in a single parent household. I have an older brother who grew up with BOTH parents in the household. My mom remarried my dad and my dad was later removed from my home due to circumstances beyond my parents control. My oldest brother is a janitor for a restaurant. I own several successful businesses. I do not believe that anything that has occurred in our past need dictate our future. People who are trusted as educators tell students the things that this gentleman is telling folks. This (in my opinion) is the reason people believe that they can’t succeed in life if they’re not a product of certain conditions. People buy this foolishness and live their lives by someone else’s standards, rules and limitations. I’m sure this man believes what he’s saying but it’s simply untrue. My mother worked full time, cooked, checked homework, came to all of my plays, performances and games. Never complained of being too tired. Many of my friends who had two parents didn’t get to spend as much time with their parents as I did with my mother. People make time to do what is a priority for them. I was obviously a priority for my mom. She reminded me EVERYDAY that I was born to win. She told me often that no matter what, I’m a success, an achiever and to never accept mediocrity from myself or anyone else. As a result of her NOT putting limitations on me, all student loans are paid. My businesses are profitable, don’t carry any debt and I home school my children while running my companies. I would tell people to not limit themselves based on the beliefs of others. I hope that he is well intentioned and really is making an attempt at helping folks set themselves up for success but I believe his philosophy on what makes one successful is part of the problem.

  • donnadara

    I have two words for the professor – Barack Obama.

  • Trinity

    None @SMH

    You don’t have to apologize. I expected this response from someone. What I’m saying is depending on the single parent’s desire for her children to succeed, her children will. She will find a way around her situation to make it happen. Simple and plain…that’s all!

    Clutch posters have made it clear of the statistic of the 70 percent.. Even with that, I will [never] believe because of a child’s situation, he or she will not succeed. That’s the problem with society now, people believe because of statistics that one individual will not make it out. Surely that is not always the case as the article will have us to believe.

  • The Other Jess


  • beautifulmind

    Umm… is it wrong that I agree with him. I’m a political science major and have studied education policy fluently, and it is well known that the single most powerful indicator of how a student will do is socio-economic status.

  • Smilez_920

    Part of the problem is we keep thinking of one type of single mother . There are single mothers who are educated , knowledge , financial stable and know where to locate resources to aid in their child’s success.

    Now for the ones that were described on the article. They are good mothers , there just living in a difficult circumstance. Education plays a huge role in a child’s success . The mothers this article lack education and finances, which is playing a serious role in the progression of their children. ( I’m sure the schools in the neighborhood don’t make it any better ).

    Nona is correct to an extent: money / resource changes circumstances . Some parents can’t do it.

    Coqui is right : It’s not that the parent doesn’t want the child to succeed , there are single parents working two jobs so their kids can go to ballet, tutoring

    I love you Michele: for some ppl seeing their mother struggle encouraged them to do better . For others her struggles were passed on to them .

    There are lots of single parent house hold success stories . But unfortunately there re not enough , out of the majority, especially in lower income communities .

  • Trinity

    Absolutely and he is very aware of that, I’m sure. Publishing this article to bring about more doubt and strife…while it may be some truth to it; success is still possible as many have already proven.


    I understand Richelle’s position. But there is significant social difference between the support of young women as opposed to young men. Your mother saw herself in you so her input came from a different place. She may have saw something different in your brother. Maybe she saw the man/men in her life in your brother. Either way, I respect your strong accomplishments. The professor is right in his assessment of children with single mothers. The successes from a single parent household happen in spite of the challenges that are faced.

  • rukyoftheyear

    It was a single mother who raised me, in the projects, and it was that same single mother who cheered me on when I got my acceptance to a top ten law school (bettwer tiered than texas school of law). It was my single mother who cheered me on when I gave my valedictorian speech, and it will be a single mother who understands, moreso than anybody, what it takes to raise a child to become academically strong.

    I have no time for this joke, even if he has a JD under his belt.

  • Rochelle

    Take your head out of your arse cheeks. Most poor single mothers raise failures no matter how hard they try.
    “Research” is solid in most cases, so disregarding it to fit your agenda is laughable. Your family is the exception, not the rule.

  • rukyoftheyear

    No, the problem is that you pay too much to the stereotypes to see that the “exception” may actually be a new rule.

    And I’ll take my JD in 2014…thank you :)

  • Rochelle

    This “Phd” don’t hear you. Lost cause.

  • Rochelle

    “hardly imagine a less beneficial or more deleterious experience than to be raised by a single parent, usually female, uneducated and without a lot of money.”

    Who could argue with this statement?

    Fact: Studies have shown that most children never reach beyond the educational level of their mothers.

    Can they? Sure.

    Do they often? Not likely.

    How can you argue this? Drive down to your local black neighborhood and see how well the children and parents are doing. Take a look at the houses, streets, people, schools, and test scores. Instead of ignoring the problem and saying “my mama was a teen mom and high school drop out living on welfare for 15 years, but I turned out just fine,” How about we look at facts and try to address the problem. Black women you can start by getting an education to support yourself financially and only getting pregnant by your husband. black men you can start by trying to be protectors and providers for you wifes/women and daughters.

  • Val

    @Ms Information

    “I think that many of us began to beleive what people said about us (lazy, unmarried, stupid) and began to act accordingly.”

    That is so true. Many of us have been brainwashed and have internalized all of the bad things said about us. I think this is more of a problem than people think. If you tell someone they’re dumb long enough, without any counter message, they will begin to believe it.

  • kamille

    It has less to do with single mothers, well let’s face it he’s mostly talking about black women in the ghetto, because we’re always the focus “Welfare queens”; and more to do with socioeconomics. And when we talk about socio-economics we can’t separate this from racism and blacks as permanent underclass. How much money you make directly affects your opportunities, where you live, your outlook on life, and etc. Money=more exposure to elite society. It has less to do with social issues of black mother’s singleness and more to do with socio-economics. I was raised in a single parent household, and had visitation and received child support from my father. But if we really look at it, the child support didn’t make a dent in the expenses that my mother actually covered. And because she had a good job, I was able to go to an incredible magnet school and am currently in a prestigious all-women’s institution.
    I’m not saying we were rich, but we weren’t poor either. However, her exposure to education (she has a masters) gave her opportunities and she could be more strategic in choosing where to raise me in an urban environment. So single motherhood does not equal failing students. He’s being way too essentialist here, kinda like when people say biological sex directly correlates with sexual gender and sexuality. And sounds no different from Ann Coulter and other right-wing republican nutjobs who hate welfare queens.

  • apple

    asians have their own school in some least my friends did..from 1st to 8th grade they went to vietnamese school on saturdays to learn their language and culture..

  • kamille

    And here’s what no one talks about…single white moms. Check statistics, although we know how those can be, but I’ll provide a link.

    25% are white, so 1/4 of white American population grows up in single parent households and of course the number is growing. And by comparison, Hispanics come in third in comparison to Native Americans. But singleness doesn’t necessarily mean without a father. It just means not married on a piece of paper, getting married is becoming an anomaly in American society as you see more and more young people doing the co-habitation/common law thing and not going to the church or court house.

    And yet again, white media likes to portray the image of black welfare queens and it’s racially motivated because you here nothing about Native Americans who are a close second in single motherhood. I call bullshit.

  • apple

    i think an inferirotiy complex maybe why minority students fail.. there is this psychologist experiment (i forget the name) where they give a group of people test.. they tell the people that did the best on the test that they did horribly and those who did the worst that they did great! so they come in the next day and take the test and what happens? those who did great the day before do horrible and those who told they did great inspite of doing horrible did wonderful.. what i’m trying to say is, if you are told that you aren’t good or second best, you will act second best, and if you are told you are great, you believe in yourself to do great. maybe this doesn’t always apply but i know when i believed i could do well or encouraged i always did better without the complex of thinking i’m bad..idk

  • hmmmmm

    His mother was white. She raised him. With the help of his white grand mother and father. His story is inspirational, no doubt, but not the same.

    At all.

  • Joy

    Bottomline: It’s better on all levels for children to be raised by, and have a FATHER, and MOTHER in the home.

  • Reject Ghetto Fantasy

    Black women are in denial. Why are you all fighting for something that does not work and has never worked in the black community?

    Let’s talk about facts. It’s been 40 years and three generations of baby mama homes. There IS NOT ONE black community in this country with high illegitmacy rates that is successful, productive and raising the majority of it’s kids (50% dropout rate) to compete academically with white kids. Not one! We know as fact the majority of boys in prison (70%) come from single parent homes. Who’s kids do you all think are terrorizing the black community? Yes, 2 or 3 baby mama black kids out of 10 are successful but the rest will perish (dropouts/welfare/dead/prison) or be stuck in dead end low paying menial jobs. That’s like leaving 10 kids in the middle of the jungle. Yes, 2 or 3 might survive but the rest will perish. 3 out of 10 is a disaster, dysfunction and failure in my book. I just don’t know why you all think this type of dysfunction is worth fighting for.

  • Chelle

    @rukyoftheyear. Awesome comeback lol. Cheers the new year to the new rule! Wishing you the best over the next two years in law school.

  • Go!

    Thank you!! Black women are in so in denial of EVERYTHING that affects them. They think they are super humans that can do whatever they want, when they want, and suffer no consequences. Just take a look over at the post of the female that was shot for stealing at Walmart. Everyone wants to blame the cop who shot rather then the person who went to steal. If it was another women of a different race, black women who be preaching here on why she got what she deserved and so on. Hypocrites. It is clearly evident that children who grow up in SINGLE households (mainly women) suffer far worst than kids who don’t. It is evident and has been proven time and time again. And for every child that is raised in a successful single mom household, I can show you 10 more that weren’t. Let’s exclude those who are widows though, since they had no choice.

  • Rosey

    I go to a law school with a professor of a similar philosophy. My heart goes out to the black students that have to be around this professor. It’s hard to feel welcome when a Professor makes statements like this.

    I agree that children from single parent homes usually aren’t as prepared but this happens in white communities too. But of course they won’t mention that when they want to find an reason for telling us why affirmative action should be eliminated.

  • Keepitreal

    Psst, I don’t give a F*&% about white people or what they are doing as it relates to this conversation.

    But let’s pretend I did, Even if damn near 40 percent of the 200 million white population were crackheads, that would leave 120 million crack free whites. Let’s do the same for the black population, shall we? With just 42 million blacks, that would leave only 25 million crack free black people and 17 million black crack heads walking around.

    Now what community do you think would be more affected? Exactly, as a whole we cannot afford to emulate the mighty white folks (who must always be mentioned in OUR conversations). As a whole we cannot afford to continue leading the pack in detrimental behavior.

    This is not an attack on my fellow black sisters but a call to action, constant denials have never benefited us–ever so why continue? “Saving face” is killing us, ladies. This is a call for sexual and personal responsibility, practice it and pass it on PLEASE!

    I read a quote the other day, “Love your people enough to tell them the truth”-this is what’s lacking in so called black leadership today.

  • LemonNLime

    I think he is only half way right. This is not a race issue, this is a class issue. Like it or not, when you come from a single-parent household where that parent is under-educated and lower-income that chances that the child will fail academically are much higher. That doesn’t mean there are not a few here or there that don’t buck the trend but that does not make them the norm.

    Whenever I hear about stories like this I think about my great-grand parents. They lived in rural GA where, at the time, black kids could only go to school up to 3rd grade. Education was so important to my great-grand parents that my great-grand father went to the superintendent (a white dude) and asked him for more grades for the black kids. The only reason the guy did it was because my great-grand father had the guts to push it so. They were given schooling up to 6th grade and when they refused to give them more, he picked his family up and relocated to Ohio, so his oldest child, my granma could be the first to graduate from high school and his other kids could follow. This value was instilled in my granma and she became the first to get a high school diploma and an associates degree. She instilled these values in her daughter, my mom, who was the first in our family to get a masters. By the time my sister and I came along, pursuing a college education was assumed and they refused to celebrate measly things like middle and elementary school graduations

    What is the point? The point is that because my great-grandparents (who had 7 kids and were lower class and formally uneducated) found value in education and worked to make sure their kids had access to it (they relocated, both worked outside the home, lived in one home with 2 other families, and went without having the newest or the most), they allowed for the creation of wealth and education that benefited my mom and uncle that now benefits my sister and I. This story isn’t out of the norm for back families that made the great migration north and I’m sure it is the same for many of the people who comment here on Clutch.

    I don’t believe that you need to be upper middle class to have your kid succeed academically and thus create wealth in your family. Sure you may be a single parent but that doesn’t mean you can’t create a support network and find mentors for your child. Sure you may not be able to send kids to the most expensive schools but you can work with your child so they can be in the honors and AP courses at the schools they attend.You may not be able to buy the most expensive tools or pay for clubs but libraries are free and often offer programs to help kids become well rounded. You might not want to help with homework because you worked all day but that should be the incentive for you to work with your child, so they can have it easier than you have it.

  • Tony

    Please stop using Obama as an example of a black baby mamma sucess story? lol His mother had a PhD in Anthropology, he lived with his grandmother (V.P. of a bank) and grandfather both college graduates and he went to the most exclusive schools in Hawaii. He live the life of a wealthy white boy in the burbs. Are you really trying to compare that to the life of a baby mamma kid growing up in the black ghetto? There is nothing about his life that compares to a black kid growing up in the ghetto with a single uneducated black mother.

  • ChillyRoad


    Maths and sciences are universal. Learning languages is great too.

  • Rio VonWolf

    History to many people and kids is very boring. Math is universal so there is no reason not to apply basic learning skills.
    Yes studies have shown that lack of resources is a problem as is attitude. No one is looking at answers like boarding schools as we are not an agrarian society there is no reason to act like one.

  • chrissy

    I so agree with you. I was raised by a single mother and one of the lucky ones who went on to get a college education. Was it great growing up in a single household….nope, but my mom held it down to the best of her ability. I think another thing that helped me was the fact that my mom was educated. I agree that black women fight for dysfunction way to much, instead of us really looking at the situation and making changes we make excuses and this can be applied to so many areas in our lives. Great post Reject Ghetto Fantasy.

  • victoria

    Honestly, we have to build strong, stable family units within our communities. Many refuse to accept that two paernts are better than one. Two parents to share the burdens of everyday life and, of course, two incomes are better than one. Kids need to see the love that Mommy and Daddy have for one another. Not a constant string of Mommy’s boyfriends or Daddy’s girlfriends. Kids need to see parents tired and stressed from working, but still determined to parent and take care of their home. Remember when traditions were a significant part of family life. We need that again! Also, parents have to be on top of things – school, friends, digital devices, social networks, extra curricular activites, etc. Also, I think this is the most important – keep God in the forefront. Pray as a family. Eat together – breakfast and dinner. And use mealtime as a channel to talk about Travon Martin, your children’s interests, family stories, etc. And let’s not forget…stop raising bad arse kids. Instill morals and values and never be too tired to discipline. Oh, and be affectionate. Kids need hugs and kisses.

  • Pseudonym

    Yes! I think what you stated is exactly the point he was trying to get across. A lot of people try to frame black and latino students’ underachievement as them just being inherently less intelligent and this man is saying that is not the case, but rather it’s the socioeconomic factors. This article framed his comments in a leading manner, but I think the take home message is supposed to be to work on improving grade school education for underrepresented children and send them off to colleges at the level of their peers as opposed to giving them a subpar K-12 education, sending them off to college poorly prepared, and then just hoping things go well. It’s the difference between giving a child swimming lessons as they grow so that they jump into the pool confidently when they’re 18 vs. up and just throwing a kid who has never swam into a pool of water when they graduate from high school.

    Makes perfect sense to me.

  • kamille

    I disagree, check the studies on lesbian couples

    As long as the kid is in a healthy environment and has resources and opportunities=well-adjusted kid

  • Chris

    congrats on your accomplishments. I am in awe of your mother…she is truly a rare gem. Most of the project mothers I run across are uneducated, young, have no interest in their child’s education let alone helping them with their school work in the evenings. They have multiple children by different men and their top priority is not raising children who will become citizens that contribute to society. These children will in turn follow their mother’s pattern and continue the cycle. There will always be stories of people who lift themselves out of these situations, but just watch the 6 o’clock news and the majority of the crimes (not all) are commited by black males.
    We as black have to stop making excuses and just because one or two got out of the barrel doesn’t not mean we as a whole are doing well. We as a people need to stop shutting people down because they point out the pink elephant in our communities.

  • kamille

    My comment wasn’t saying let’s emulate the white man! My comment was to address what’s been happening for years, the stereotype of the black welfare queen by white media and the right wing. A well-balanced child does not equal a two parent heterosexual household. Check statistics on lesbian couples and their success with well-adjusted children . Are we arguing that as long as there are two parents, then the household is better? Or are we arguing that there must be a father and mother?

    I’m saying no matter the question, that the majority of the problem isn’t the number but SOCIO-ECONOMICS. As I stated earlier which directly correlates with the quality of life and education and opportunities to resources. Okay so put a father in the household, what will it change if the family is still poor and lack resources? I don’t understand what’s so hard to grasp about this! No one is saying that single black homes aren’t problematic, but let’s not look at the marital status as the sole problem because it isn’t. You can just as well have a two parent black household, and still be dysfunctional. STILL be poor. STILL lack resources. STILL lack educational opportunities. Money=exposure.

  • Chrissy

    To reduce the number of single mothers black women need to stop having unprotected sex with men they are not married to. (there are always circumstances that can make a woman single that is outside of her control, but all these single ladies out here are not widows)
    No we are not doomed. Only if we stay in denial and keep making excuses for ourselves and blaming everything on someone else.
    Women need to make wiser choices regarding mates. That dude with 2-3 baby mamas is not a good choice. That dude that does not have a job is not a good choice. That dude that is involved in criminal activity is not a good choice. There are alot of good black men out here who would make wonderful and loving fathers.

  • Joy

    Reject unfortunately ur preaching to the choir here. I was on the train the other day and this little girl kept staring at me with a mean look (for the record you could tell that the young lady was bodily over mature for whatever her age is). She was sitting there with her mother so I asked her how old she was…she gave me a dirty look and didn’t respond. I said to her mother that I was raised that if an adult speaks to you (when you were with your parents you should respond). The mother’s response to me was that she (the little girl) didn’t have to respond to me if she didn’t want to. In short the mohter had a bad attitude as well. Sad state of affairs the way (some) of our kids are being raised. (Some) children not only don’trespect each other but they don’t respect adults. FYI: I realize that if the little girl was by herself she wouldn’t have to respond to a stranger..

  • lol

    very true, but you know something funny? the minute she needs help with her kid she’ll be screaming “it takes a village to raise a child”.

  • Ooh La La

    Exactly! …I LOVE everything about this comment.

  • Reject Ghetto Fantasy

    Obama was raised by a grandmother (bank vp) and grandfather both college graduates in the suburbs and went to the best schools in Hawaii. His mother had a PhD!

  • Joy

    We need more mentoring programs like Steve Harvey’s. Also I just saw a story on the national news about a black man in Chicago that has a mentoring program teaching gang bangers, ex cons, etc. mechanics (how to repair old cars). Several of the guys said the mentor was like a father they never had. As for mentoring……are you listening Tavis Smiley, and Cornell West??

  • Love Sosa

    Raised by a single mother. Currently working toward my masters degree. I guess this article doesn’t apply to me. Carry on.

  • Ms. Information

    You are right, and although I was raised by a single mother (father died) until I was 14, I would not subject myself nor my future children to purposely becoming a single mother…it is NOT an easy life.

  • Naps!

    I was raised in a low-income home with a single parent and two siblings. We are all currently in or have graduated University. My mother always put education first; we, as black people, just need to change our priorities.

  • Naps!

    Why must it all blame be placed on the woman? Black babies don’t just spring up out of nowhere. I don’t think the issue is single motherhood; I think the issue falls on priorities. My two siblings and I were raised in a single family home, and we have all flourished academically. We have all graduated or are currently enrolled in University. Just saying.

  • myblackfriendsays

    I think mentoring young girls and showing them that life has so many opportunities for them! At the same time, we have to let them know that those opportunities will be much more difficult to take advantage of if they have a young child to take care of.

    There are many other things that could help, that is the first thing that comes to mind.

  • Fox

    If I could give this 10 thumbs up, I would. Stop having babies with losers. I did it once and that’s all it took. No more kids by a lo-ser!

    If you do become a single mother, make education a priority and stopped being so wrapped up in your own drama.

  • Fox

    The women have a choice to protect themselves so they won’t have kids with a loser. And sometimes they have another one by the same or another lame azz man who they KNOW isn’t going to help.

  • Fox

    I used to tell my son about black history at home. Every now and then I would school him. Just teach them little bits of history as they grow up. Gotta fill in the gaps the schools leave.

  • isolde3


    Your sound logic is most appreciated. Though the limited number of “thumbs up” under your remarks would indicate otherwise, your comments are by far the most impressive on the thread.

  • paul



    that’s brains.

    I’m late to this one but without reading any other comments I know it’s brought em all out like red meat to a pack starving hyenas.

    None even bones left for me . . .


    I love Clutch.

  • Ask_ME

    While I agree with this man’s comment about single mothers I think you too need a reality check…

    I was raised to believe that if a STRANGER is speaking to me I ignore them. Most parents with good sense teach their children this reality in this day and age.

    You overstepped your boundaries in this situation….not the mother or the child. It doesn’t have a thing to do with a bad attitude. Instead it has to do with stepping outside of YOUR LANE…into their lane.

    You are a STRANGER to this child (and her mother) and she treated you as such.

    Frankly, we can only hope that more children take this approach rather than chatting with people they don’t know…whether a parent is present or not.

    You, as an adult, should have started a conversation with her mother….not the child.

  • lol

    To hear the media tell it, he was raised by his mother all by her lonesome. So face of the success of single parenthood was raised in a two parent home, well I’ll be damned.

  • Oh

    You tell them, girl. If it doesn’t apply to you then who cares. Make sure you set your kids up for the same success and raise them as a single mom too.

  • Rochelle

    @ Malik. I consider working a minimum wage job boring as well. Do you suggest I quit and live on the streets? Being a cashier, Walmart greeter, waitress, prisoner, hell stripper or street pharmacist, is boring. But that is most likely how an uneducated person will end up. I am being sarcastic. I am not sure what your point is. My point is we do things everyday as an adult that is boring and that we don’t want to do. Should we not do them?

    How about you tell your children is the point of sitting in class is to PASS THE CLASS! Not for the class to be of interest to them. They can get to learn something “interesting” once they pass high school and go to college if they choose. For now a high schooler’s focus should be to PASS THE CLASS. If my child ever complained that school is boring foolishness, they would be met with a slap in the mouth. Real talk.

  • Rochelle

    @ASK ME you’re parents were wrong to teach you that if this is the situation you are refering to. That little girl was rude and her mother is probably a ghetto hood rat hoe that is angry that she is a failure in life. I meet them all the time going into the inner cities. It is not about safety. Hell, her mother was right there if something were to “pop off.” It is about a mother that teaches her child nothing but to be a rude unpleasant person. Point blank, period.

  • babyro2

    Right! I was also raised by a single, black female and I have a masters degree.

  • Ask_ME

    Had this child reacted that way with someone she actually knows I would agree, but the reality is this woman, Joy, was a stranger to that child. The child here doesn’t owe it to her to make conversation and Joy, as an adult, shouldn’t demand it of her.

    In a world where people are throwing acid in people faces, kidnapping, robbing and raping children (and adults) folks cannot afford to sit around being nice to random strangers…especially not those we run across on public transportation.

  • paul


    this room has got more PHD’s (performance hyping duds) than a PHD graduation ceremony in China.

    Yeh right.



    I’d say poverty is the cause of single motherhood, who wants to get married when they’re broke and why shouldn’t people have babies when having a baby doesn’t make you broker?

    Marriage costs money, getting pregnant costs a few calories

    ok so the jail population are mostly from poor backgrounds

    well that’s always been true even when most children were born to married parents. Was marriage to blame for poverty and crime in those days?

    ok so they’re mostly black and latino

    ditto above plus racism plus drug war plus the ton of money to be had in handing the prison system over to private contractors plus the tons of jobless ethnic minorities to scoop up and jail for no reason.

    ok but we’re talkin about them not getting and education.

    Look around the room, that aint just a problem in single mother homes.


    lookin em up and down with a scornful look on my face and smh

  • Chika

    As many people have already pointed out, Professor Gragalia’s comments are backed up statistically. Although I was raised by a single mom and now attend an Ivy League school, I cannot deny the validity of his observations. HOWEVER, it troubles me that a lot of folks here aren’t considering the source. This is not a man who is truly concerned about the issues plaguing minority communities. He simply wants to make a case about why minorities/kids of single mom’s are destined to fail (notice that he didn’t make any type of qualifier or even noted that there are exceptions), thereby making Affirmative Action unnecessary. He doesn’t comment on how these kids of single moms often grow up in communities where the public schools are sub-par. Of course a lot (not all) will be unprepared in math and reading because the schools they attended did not provide an adequate education. I know in Memphis, TN, funding for schools are based on the income of the neighborhood instead of a set-amount of money given to schools by the states. Obviously this causes the schools in poorer areas to receive less money by default. This is not fair. You can fault single moms for all sorts of disadvantages that their child might face. However, we need to also realize that the schools educating our children need MAJOR reform. Perhaps then, Affirmative Action in the academic setting will no longer be needed since applicants of all colors will be on more equal footing. Of course Professor Gragalia fails to mention these points.

    We should acknowledge that Professor Gragalia points out a problem without feigning concern about finding a solution.

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  • Tara

    To the truth, you are exactly right. And what worries me is that even when a black boy is raised by two parents he is surrounded by boys who arent so what happens? Does the mindset of the boys from single parents rub off on the lone kid from a two parent household? My two brothers come from a two parent middle class household. One ended up spending years in prison and the other a highly educated successful professional. So I guess my point is that we have to fix the village because even though my kid might be raised in a two parent home, the likelyhood is that they will be surrounded by kids from single parent homes.

  • lol

    agree with Rochelle and Joy. rude as hell.

  • JJ

    So why are affluent blacks lagging behind their white counterparts?

  • lol

    very very good point Tara!

  • Tara

    Black women are in denial about a LOT of things about black men and the vast majority are going to continue to suffer for years to come. Within the next five years or less, black women are going to experience something very painful that some of these women didnt see coming because of their heads being in the sand for so long about black men but that is another conversation.

    Anyway have any of you ever heard of the Moynihan report? A white man wrote a report years and years ago that stated that because black men cannot live in the house with black women and children in order for the woman to receive welfare, the out of wedlock rate would skyrocket. He was called a racist. Now the out of wedlock rate 90 percent. Black women are so in denial.

    However, on the other hand, just because a black man does not love the mother does not mean that he does not take care of his child. Black men have kids and leave them with women all over the world. I thought that white women made them feel like real men. Look at the statistics in Europe particularly England and Germany. The amount of out of wedlock births to black women and white men is astounding! The same thing is going to happen in America with the black man/white woman unions increasing. If you dont believe me look at Alisha Keys, Halle Berry, Mariah Carey and our worldwide example President Barack Obama. It is not just happening in the black community.

  • kj1986nyc

    Really I just think these women out here are too stupid to realize they carried greater biological investment, 10 minutes vs 9 months. The white man invented pills but still too dumb to take them.

  • Jointarms

    Actually, it is better to get married. It cost $45 at the local District Court to get married. We need to stop this issue about marriage. It is an essential part to creating a solid foundation for a developing child. Com’on, take the Latino community, Asian community or African communities for example, some of these people come here pennyless. Not a dime to their name. I mean some people cross the border risking life, limb and freedom. I know people who struggled together in the worst neighborhoods in the Bronx, Baltimore city, all the way south to Selma, AL. The main reason for their success was because of a household with a father and mother that believed in solid education. They did not just preach the importance of education, they hammared it into the heads of their children. Was it easy, no way. What did they all embrace? Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics. What did they do away with? Religion. I know we all have difficulties in our relationships but without team work, the road ahead will always be solitary and filled with un-intended consequences. Our main objective is not individual glory. Our collective objective is a family nucleus of two parents. This is our foremost and most essential goal. It is paramount we get this correct. Family, family, and family. They we start laying the bricks to build.

  • Yevi

    I don’t see anything wrong with how the child or mother reacted. They are not obligated to give a stranger their time, especially when the questions are on the personal side.

  • lol

    you said;

    “The amount of out of wedlock births to black women and white men is astounding!”

    do you mean black men and white women? that’s what i hear, not what you wrote…

  • paul

    Yeh but statistics only tell you the numbers, they don’t tell ya the whys and wherefores.

    The whys and wherefores are a matter of interpretation and that’s where the argument is.

    You must be a PHD too though “educated” to the point of intellectual paralysis – that’s why you’re stuck on statistics.

  • paul

    Oh you must be a PHD

    It cost $45 at the local District Court to get married.

    What are you on about?

    That’s not the cost of marriage – it’s the cost of a marriage certificate/license (whatever you call it Stateside) smh

    Com’on, take the Latino community, Asian community or African communities for example, some of these people come here pennyless. Not a dime to their name. I mean some people cross the border risking life, limb and freedom.

    This is convenient and a classic example of how poor people are used to frighten or shame or other people. More often than not unregistered immigrants are labelled as criminals who enter America illegally and take American jobs.

    The main reason for their success was because of a household with a father and mother that believed in solid education.

    I guess you’re adding theft of American education to the charges.

    I know people who struggled together in the worst neighborhoods in the Bronx, Baltimore city, all the way south to Selma, AL.

    And I’m sure there are still people struggling in those neighborhoods as we speak – so what? Some have a little bit better luck than others.

    There are poor people and really poor people. Should we encourage really poor people to emulate the behaviour of poor people? smh

    Furthemore no where in your confused ramble did I see anything that explains exactly how marriage improves a person’s prospects. Marriage didn’t seem to improve the prospects of the people who fled their countries – risking life, limb and jail – to come to America.

    It’s not marriage that improves people’s prospects, it’s economic opportunity, that’s why people go where the going seems better.

    Another thing you’ve overlooked is the fact that economic opportunity between classes of people is not the same. For example – an Asian immigrant may have better prospects in the American job market than an indigenous African American due to their (Asian’s) reputation as a model minority – or they may simply be absorbed into the existing local Asian economy.

    Now why don’t we have any such economy to speak of in the black community? How come we got all these people with masters & phds but can’t offer anything to our young people but criticism?

    I reckon we’d be much better off with a few less phds and a lot more community builders.

    And please be aware that If all you got is a job, you’re not safe from falling into the “underclass” yourself, so you need to shut up and figure out how to solve your own problems, which may start sooner than you think when Obama’s Grand Bargain kicks in and they cut your “phd” government job.

  • paul

    I was co-signing Question Mark btw

  • Yvette

    Do you really think that a black student and a white student from the same affluent school district would have the same experience?

    I am a product of a two parent home who tested well on IQ tests, but the district refused to let me into honors classes because I was above average in all subjects except math.

    When I got beat up, they suspended me.

    They sought to hinder me in whatever way they could, at the same time my parents sought to help me.

    Your comment is so naivë.

  • paul

    meant to post this here

    Yeh but statistics only tell you the numbers, they don’t tell ya the whys and wherefores.

    The whys and wherefores are a matter of interpretation and that’s where the argument is.

    You must be a PHD too though – “educated” to the point of intellectual paralysis – that’s why you’re stuck on statistics.

  • paul

    typo correction

    “This is convenient and a classic example of how poor people are used to frighten or shame other poor people.

    But actually it still worked as “frighten or shame or other people”.

  • Hmm…


    From my earlier comments this exactly was my point. Some of the points in which I stated were the following: [Financial hardship is the problem and not the child’s family arrangement.]…then I asked a series of questions: [are family members helping the single parent with her children? What is the relationship she has with her child’s school? Car-pooling with neighbors to take her children b&f from extra-curricular activities?] I asked these questions because if considered maybe more of these kids from single parent homes can become an exception (not a part of these a statistics) by creating solutions.

    Not sensitive or in denial to the statistics of the negative advantages of a single parent home. My desire is not to see a child become discourage because of their circumstances or negativity. I explain the statistics and the hurdles in which they are up against. Therefore, I will use POTUS as example because as you plainly stated the way in which he made it was via family support. I don’t see why we shouldn’t make the most of using our President as an example. AND if their parents are not educated or financially challenged: Similar to @LemonNLime’s comments, “Sure you may be a single parent but that doesn’t mean you can’t create a support network and find mentors for your child. Sure you may not be able to send kids to the most expensive schools but you can work with your child so they can be in the honors and AP courses at the schools they attend.You may not be able to buy the most expensive tools or pay for clubs but libraries are free and often offer programs to help kids become well rounded” These statements piggyback from mine: [Depending on the single parent’s desire for her children to succeed, her children will].

    I thought your statement was interesting so I wanted to share my thoughts especially when I’m sure majority of Clutch supporters agree with you. I think we should acknowledge these statistics. They are apparent; cannot deny it’s culture impact.. but we cannot afford to exclude some people because their circumstances were different. Their story is still essential to the encouragement of these children who desire to succeed in life. Yes, the bottom line is “It’s better on all levels for children to be raised by, and have a FATHER, and MOTHER in the home.” @Joy. As I was raised, but those aren’t the kids I worked with. So I have to think positive from both aspects. ~Trinity

  • Apple

    Thanks for thumbing down a psychological approach as a possible answer! Fine single moms its your fault you’re children suck

  • http://www.geekmommarants GeekMommaRants

    The root cause of this issue is money. Poor Indian and Chinese women do not send their children to college either. To think that all African-American women are poor is stupid. Poor people the world over are not educated. Rednecks in the south are not going to be successful either. What the professor said is true, for everyone. Education is an issue for all people.

  • Tonton Michel

    Regardless off the intent the truth is the truth. Single parenthood is becoming close to a plague on our society.

  • damidwif

    Kamille, most people commenting on articles like these aren’t ready for the knowledge you’re dropping so don’t waste too much energy. Thanks Isolde for still being present on this site to support the intellectuals.

  • eboni

    I just emailed him, telling him that I was raised by a single mother on a VERY low income and now I attend the same prestigious university he attended. I’m sure I’m making grades as good as his were, if not better.

  • IslandgirlDesi

    @ Love Sosa….I totally agreed. I’m a single mother who just completed my masters, have a son who is in his 2nd year of college with a 2.85 gpa. Clearly this man is delusional.

  • Ms. Vee

    Single parenting is already a plague in our community. More than 70% of black children are born to single black mothers. 60% of single black mothers have more than one child with a different man. When do we put a stop to this lunacy and realize that the presence of positive male role model is essential for collective child success. Yes there are some blacks that have made it big being raised by a single mother. But guess what? They are in the minority. If you pay attention to other thriving communities you will soon notice that they frown upon having children out of wedlock, let alone single parenting. I don’t deny the existing the pathetic absentee fathers. However women have to also be responsible and be more selective with whom we allow to father our children.

  • Mike

    Why don’t we ever hear from the baby mammas and their kids who are drop outs, on crack, in prison for murder, and of course on welfare and baby mammas themselves? This is after all how the overwhelming majority end up.

  • Shawna

    I agree with the professor. My brother and I were raised in a single parent home. We have different fathers but my granddad was a major presence in my life. My brother only had my mom to depend on. I’m currently in the military and working on my Masters in Mathematics. My brother, however, is 20 and still working on his h.s diploma. Being raised in a low income community, by a single parent with low education does not guarantee a child for failure. It does limit the amount of opportunities they can have. Some people do rise up and become a success story but why not give your child the best chances for success.

  • bamilekequeen

    I was raised in an African community in Cameroon where it was the norm to have a father and a mother. Where education was priority, not an option. Then i moved to America to a black neighborhood and saw that there really is BIG difference between single parent and double parent household. It was always shocking to me how my father and another father are the ONLY fathers in the neighborhood. Everyone else are raised by their mother, of the kids that i went to school with, most of the males dropped out, or if they finished they’ve refuse to further their education. Most of the females are pregnant or working on their second baby.
    I’m just saying, there is a big problem here that need to be address. Black men need to raise their kids. Black women are not the cause of all of this.

  • Pink Lipstick

    I agree–to an extent. The issue with these households is no tthat the mothers are single. The issue si that these women are poor and lack the human capital necessary to gain social mobility.

    I also think that teenagers should be using condoms when engaging sexual activity.

  • bamilekequeen

    Looking at these comments makes me shake my head. It’s not just the mothers’ fault, what about these sorry ass fathers? They play a role in this too. uh

  • Pema

    He’s right. When are we going to wake up?

  • lala

    moral support and familial involvement are the key words. I think the social structure in are community are very very messed up. Starting with the cornerstone “nuclair” family mom & dad + kids. And then also the extended family. I went to Uni for Bachelor+ Master and dropped out. Its not only about good grades its also about “networking” Who do you know who are your friends. What fraternity are you joining. + my tuition was a lot I couldnt fathom going in debt for a study I wasnt really sure about and one that I found boring??? For what ?? Slave away as a lawyer in a high-paying job. I was not Im sorry I sacrifced so much I want to enjoy life. Not always working so damm hard with little to know return.

  • Denise

    He’s certainly never heard of DR. BEN CARSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Well here’s some background of the great Doctor Ben Carson, from my hometown Detroit..oh, and did I say he was raised by a single mother?

    “Carson was born in Detroit, Michigan and was raised by his single mother, Sonya Carson. He struggled academically throughout elementary school, but started to excel in middle school and throughout high school. After graduating with honors from Southwestern High School, he attended Yale University, where he earned a degree in Psychology. He chose to go to Yale because in College Bowl, an old knowledge competition TV program, he saw Yale compete against and defeat many other colleges, including Harvard. Carson wanted to participate in College Bowl, but the program was discontinued. From Yale, he attended University of Michigan Medical School.”

  • Brokejetsetter

    Thanks for your wiki excerpt but that’s one case out of how many?

  • mr.vicious

    Dont you mean rayray and pookie need to take care of their kids. Dont take the problems of desmond hatchett and assign them to the bill cosby’s of the community.
    Putting the man back in the house means,no more section 8, no more welfare, no more insurance etc. Its all about the check.

  • Allie

    Listen, congrats on getting your Master’s, but…wait, wait, wait, we’re supposed to applaud a 2.85/4.0? That’s barely 71%! That’s a C-! THAT IS NOT EVEN SATISFACTORY. I’d get slapped straight in the mouth if I brought home a 2.85, not to mention I’d lose my fellowship and get kicked out of my program. Sorry to be a bit raw, but how about we start applauding *actual* achievement, rather than fooling black kids into believing they’re doing great when they’re really not even competitive on a national (or global) scale?

    This might sound horrible, but seriously, this kind of celebrated underachievement holds black kids back and I see it ALL THE TIME. A 2.85 GPA! You can’t even qualify for nationally competitive scholarships with less than a 3.0! The starting line has moved, and black parents seem to be the only ones who haven’t noticed — so they raise kids who think a BARELY SATISFACTORY average is something to brag about. Wtf?

  • mr.vicious

    No the issue is what has single mom done, leave the man out of it. You cant blame him, he is not there to take the blame. So who is left to take the blame?
    As if a man just being there is good enough, good in bed, dosent mean good father. These women in question need to know the difference.

  • Kenneshea

    This thread is so disappointing. My heart wrenches reading these comments from black women that p,aces the blame for racial disparities on the backs of black women! DAMN capitalism is a hell of a drug. Why the hell aren’t we criticizing the education system that places the less qualified teachers in the most high need areas. Urban schools receive HALF the funding of schools in the suburb. I have little hope for my generation and any type of racial progress. This logic and rhetoric used to describe racial disparities is ignorant and disheartening. How can you blame single parent homes all the time when kids from the “middle-class two-parent standard of parenting” are committing mass murder? Seems like two parent households may not be the alternative either.

  • Ann

    You know I hear all of the carnival barking on here and the blame game passed around.
    For each poster- what are YOU doing to HELP in YOUR community? You see it’s easy to place blame on the people who cannot defend themselves. Are you VOILUNTEERING YOUR TIME to help these kids with after school tutoring? Are YOU helping to donate the proper supplies to the schools and classrooms that are under-funded (mostly inner-city, minirity schools?) Are you mentoring any young males or young females in YOUR community? Based on all of the LAME answers and Blame games my guess is NO. Most are probably sitting at their cmfortable job or from their home on a laptop sitting on their perch stating “it’s their fault” when you are only one or two situations away from poverty YOURSELF. Whether it be stock-market, oil crisis, job loss. So you see…. WHAT is your PLAN of action to HELP, because if you are not HELPING the situation SHUT THE HELL UP!!

    And yes, I am a single mother from the projects whose reared 3 young men (all are in college-thank you)in the ghetto. So Yes, the situation can be improved… Start with YOU.. instead of placing the blame because even though you may think you’ve MADE it- guess what you are still being called and shut out behind closed doors?

  • Justaperson

    Agreed. One of my closest friends has been raised by her mom and her mom’s girlfriend since she was little and she makes straight A’s, doesn’t do drugs, has a scholarship, etc.

  • Neix

    Why are we leaving men out of this conversation? I don’t like this blame game – it serves no purpose. Financial stability plays a huge part in future success. It is no secret that single mothers and their families are making up a large percentage of the poor. We cannot examine this issue in such a disconnected way looking simply at the individual choices made. Why are these choices being made in such large numbers? That is a social issue that should be examined holistically.

    My parents were married, and then they divorced. My mother struggled with four of us, as did my aunt with her two children and her failed marriage. Are we all “successful”? Depends how you define this, but I see that my brothers and cousins all place importance on being good, involved fathers – some are married, and some are not. Did my mother pick the wrong man? As a #daddy’sgirl I would say that my dad is a good dad who loves his children, but a shitty husband who loves a lot of women. Should my mother be blamed because all of her time and money couldn’t be focused on our education? because she chose a life without infidelity over a life with a double income while my father’s wandering eye gets off scott-free?

    Saying “leave the man out of it,” and “you can’t blame him, he is not there to take the blame,” is so lame. Where is he? When was it ok for him to abdicate his responsibility in raising his children? Just because you leave your girlfriend doesn’t mean you can also leave the children you made with her.

    For a long time now I’ve been saying that the way we socialize our boys and the way we socialize our girls is incompatible and is close to the root of this problem.

  • http://Clutch Stephanie

    Hey mike…have you heard about some killings in schools and theaters around your country? Always a White Person huh…oops..

  • Perspective

    Not arguing – but I would like to see the 60% more than one father source – simply because I have never heard that before, but based on what I have seen – this does go on, but I would have guessed only 40%. 60% seems quite high.

    Also its nice to see a woman get it – and not CONSTANTLY go into – Oh black men are victims and black men leave us rants.

    As I have stated before – the type of men WHO SHOULD NOT BE FATHERS in the BC – never have a shortage of black women around them.

    I see pregnant black women everyday. After years of this issue being addressed – I’m shocked its still happening.

  • Perspective

    “He’s certainly never heard of DR. BEN CARSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Well here’s some background of the great Doctor Ben Carson, from my hometown Detroit..oh, and did I say he was raised by a single mother?”

    Why to black women do this? Why do they constantly love to make the Exception Swallow The Rule – JUST TO MAKE THEIR POINT.


    We got 70 cents here. Keep the Penny.

    What is Dr. Ben Carson – 1 out of 100,000 black men who come out of the same situation and FAIL?!

    If the single mothered home was feasible – then we should have a whole community of DR. BEN CARSONS

    I direct you to your nearest black community.

  • Perspective

    @ Pink Lipstick – ummm

    Last time I checked according to many black women and most of the blogs on this site – black women were about to shoot out of earth orbit with their awesomeness and academic achievement.

    Who are these magical black women who didn’t exist yesterday, because black women were in college – 10000 to 1 BW vs BM, that suddenly need human capital in order to gain social mobility.

    I thought black women INVENTED THE WORD SOCIAL MOBILITY!?

  • Perspective

    Not only that – IT MEANS “HIS” authority – which many women DO NOT WANT.

    It amazes me at how black men can be assigned RESPONSIBILITY in the black community without having final say or CONTROL.

    We just get hit with – “THIS IS YOUR JOB – MAN UP!”

    No men are going for that. Not to mention the fact that you have a whole community who’s culture is now based in the concept of female leadership whether the women are doing a good job or NOT.

    Boys see FEMALES running it and think that’s appropriate. There is not MANHOOD CARD to be dropped in the black community when you have a matriarchal structure. Women may try, but it’s not going to work. You aren’t going to be able to SHAME MEN into a position that is responsibility and NOTHING ELSE.

    No title, no legacy, no greater respect in the community.

    That’s a joke, and that’s where we are NOW. Unfortunately, I don’t see the situation turning around because these men have nothing to live up to.

    I say men need to man up – WOMEN CHEER

    I say men need to create opportunities in their own community, feed their own people, and not be dependent on other groups of men. – WOMEN CHEER

    I say – and men need to be the leaders and directors of all this – and black women need to get with the program.

    BLACK – boooooo NINJA! boooooooooo – get off the stage.

    I mean many black women really think that men are going to go out here and do this ABOVE AND BEYOND STUFF without even a place to pass it onto because the women feels that she should have more say on the very foundation that men are laying.

    Please show me this society where men don’t control what they create?

    I’ll wait.

    Like I said. I don’t see much hope – because the women are on what they are on and have these FALSE IDEAS OF FEMALE EMPOWERMENT.

    Just like the piece about the MBA black women a few threads down on the home page. They are talking about EXCELLING IN WHITE CORPORATE AMERICA.

    These women are not talking about ESTABLISHING their own – anything. Black women are PARTICIPATORS, not CREATORS – and unfortunately they have trained their boys to be the same way because – THEY REALLY DON’T WANT strong men like that – because STRONG MEN – WILL END UP TELLING THEM WHAT TO DO – if the men surpass the women – as they should.

    The way other communities are can’t be compared to the BC because other communities are PATRIARCHAL. Women will say BM need to man up – COOL – but get into them actually LEADING – what they’ve MANNED UP TOO?

    Awwww man! OBJECTIONS ALL DAY.

  • Perspective

    This comment demonstrates to me why black women should NOT be leading the black community anywhere.

    Damn the labels of calling me a sexist.

    “Why the hell aren’t we criticizing the education system that places the less qualified teachers in the most high need areas. Urban schools receive HALF the funding of schools in the suburb.”

    Again – black women looking to THE STATE OR GOVERNMENT to turn things around in the black community – rather than looking at the some of the things that THEY can change as the MOTHERS OF THE BOYS WHO ARE BEING RAISED.

    Sorry if you choose a bad father – or got caught up in “BLACKISTAN” as a female facebook feminist blogger put it. That’s unfortunate – but NOW you ARE RAISING the next generation of men.

    Even if the father came back – if he has no skills, no wisdom, no job – what does he have to over the child even if he showed up tomorrow.

    Oh no – let me guess LOVE!

    Yes because we all know LOVE – will magically create economic opportunities for the son so that he will become a productive citizen of the black community rather than a DRUG DEALER.

    No jobs = DRUG DEALERS.

    No education = Drug DEALERS

    but No education + No jobs = a lot of people sitting at home in debt with their parents!

    GET IT!

    I don’t see women building nor creating anything, and they most certainly aren’t mobilizing to do it because they feel – THAT’S A MAN’S JOBS!

    Exactly! So what you would need are strong men – and the women need to making damn sure that they are picking men who actually have something to offer their CHILDREN! Build from THAT foundation, but choosing men who are INCAPABLE of teaching their sons anything, but then believing that “BLACK WOMEN CAN DO IT ALL BY THEMSELVES,” just be prepared to ACCEPT the RESPONSIBILITY OF THE OUTCOME OF THAT CHOICE.

    and yes! for many it is a choose because I’ve watched too long, women AVOID MEN who were in the proper position – because THE WOMAN DIDN’T WANT TO BE CONTROLLED AND WANTED A MAN THAT WAS MORE PLIABLE TO HER PROGRAM.

    Enters POOKIE AND RAY RAY! Oh and can’t forget the generally COMPLACENT but somewhat together brotha. He’s the BEST OPTION. They’re just hard to find, because most complacent men don’t get anywhere.

    The cycle continues – but – THIS is black women’s best kept secret.

  • Michael

    Tavis Smiley has a Leadership program that’s been around for more than a minute. “The mission of the Tavis Smiley Foundation is to enlighten, encourage and empower youth by providing leadership training that will promote and enhance the quality of life for themselves, their communities and our world.” The link:

  • Perspective

    Wow – Yea because we know that MOST 2 parent homes produce – MASS MURDERING WHITE KIDS.

    That’s a TRUE FACT!

    So what we will do now – is make the preposterous claim that single parent homes are actually BETTER than 2 parent homes.

    AMAZING – black female logic!

  • Perspective

    I think you miss the point.

    It should be no other MAN’s responsibility to raise your son, other than the biological father.

    You can’t put that ON OTHER MEN – and then pull out the “BLACK COMMUNITY CARD!”

    That is what many black men are mad, and sick and tired of.

    If your 3 sons ended up in jail – I’m sure we would be hearing the fact that the father wasn’t there and you couldn’t do it all alone, but since you did it all alone, you are now proudly ready to receive you medal.

    I’m not even saying that you don’t deserve praise – but I think women like you need to check those women who don’t do such a good job – but still want that same level of praise and acknowledgement when their children become a burden unto the community.

    I am not a BLACK CHURCH – I do NOT – pander to black women. I am NOT in your pocket.

    This idea that black women can sleep with whoever they want and that he’s supposed to just MAN UP – because she’s pregnant and demonstrate skills that the man never had has got to go.

    Shoot, that defeats the whole purpose of picking a good man – if you could just get with any old guy and have him turn into a BARACK.

    The purpose is EQUALLY as defeated if you believe that you could get with any type of brotha – and that CARLTON would come through CAPEin and play surrogate dad.

    What kills me are the women who get pregnant and then think that magically opportunities are going to appear for the father that weren’t there when she got pregnant. Too many black women will just have babies underneath any circumstance regardless of the dude, regardless of the situation on the ground, and regardless whether the man is in the proper position or not.

    The men are equally as dumb – but when black women act like they are the smarter sex – I’m like please – that’s a joke. Many sistas lack the overall discipline and the critical thinking skills to run anything.

    I direct you to your nearest black community.

    I don’t say that just to POOP on sistas – but the issue is what have a lot of unaccountable, blameless, delusional sistas out her. They’ve been talking about black men like dogs for decades – WHY ARE ALL THESE BABIES STILL COMING INTO THE WORLD if black men are so terrible.

    Apparently, REGARDLESS of the complaints – you all are just going to go out here and have the baby anyway.

    STOP trying to put the responsibility on men WHO DID NOT SLEEP WITH YOU AND GET YOU PREGNANT!

    I notice sistas get real quite when they are talking to black men over the age of 25 and CHILDLESS!

  • Che

    You’re infuriatingly disgusting.

  • mr.vicious

    Whats lame about it?
    If the father is not there, why not hold the sole parent accountable. How many black girl rock come from one parent homes, when its a positive outcome, its i did it all by myself, i dont need a man. But when a negative study, its a we problem, its because the father wasnt in the home….masters of the universe in deflection.

    This problem goes beyond, single-minded parent homes. The hidden message is that these women in question dont know what a good father would be, a good man will be or a role model would be.

    I seen msnbc lock up in which a inmate said I miss my son and or daughter. And he had an ice cream truck selling coffee and ice cream on the outside.

    Im like BS, dont nobody buy coffee out an ice cream truck. They use coffee as a barter in prison, but these are the men that have the lions share of women in the BC. And these are the men women date and complain about when the his life style affects the child when he is locked up or even dead.

    So my point is, point the finger at who is in charge of a single minded home. Not the person who is not there.If blaming a person who is not there, then why stop at the sperm provider. Blame everybody and exempt the mother.

  • mr.vicious

    You are correct, and i dont have counter argument. The black male authority figure is abhorred in the sista-hood.
    BM nowadays are treated like civil right activist during the 50′s and 60′s in terms of sentiments.

  • KayKay

    Black women act like others are wrong for saying all children deserve fathers. They get SO sensitive and defensive of single motherhood it’s ridiculous.

  • Courtney**

    Yep. Just read the name, thumbs down, and keep it moving is what I do now.

  • Perspective

    Which is why i find myself saying the black community is doomed and have seriously considered stepping out of the race permanently (with all the BS that comes with that) because at least minimally u can have more of a proper structure.

    I discovered in my years of investigation and letting black women break it down to me – rather than telling them the BS that many are on – that what many of these women want is MALE RESPONSIBILITY – that is all.

    they are not looking for leadership
    they are not looking men to man up
    Oh no – they want these things to happen with men either in the subordinate position or in no position to tell them what to do.

    It doesn’t even make sense. What men want or even the impetus to take on these responsibilities black women believe are respectively irrelevant and automatic.

    I’m telling you – their arguments do NOT hold up to scrutiny. Most often you just get angry responses like

    “You’re infuriatingly disgusting.”

    Hey, if I’m so wrong – please REFUTE in gratuitous detail exactly HOW I’m so wrong.

    Lets have an intelligent conversation. But I realized awhile ago – if I ever thought that these women would let LOGIC AND REASON LOSE THEM AN ARGUMENT – I had some seriously flawed judgement.

    Men are examining and cross examining everything, every complaint – that black women have ever made and when you hold the majority up to the light you realize just how much BS it is. Not on all things, but MOST things.

    Example – “I want a man to man up. Men need to be responsible. Men aren’t being men. Black men need to challenge white supremacy.”

    Ok – I hear you.

    “Well we most certainly are going to need some male leadership.”

    Bw – “Ohhhhhhh hellzzzzzzzzz nah! We just want you to fix all this! We didn’t say anything about you leading what we are actually charging you to fix”

    What gets me are the ones who flat out AVOID! men are even in the position to fix anything – skills/resources – because, “HMMMMPPPFFFF – HE WASN’T GOING TO CONTROL ME!”

    Then get with the dude who’s not even in the position to FIX anything, or guide anything – but still expect him to RISE TO THE OCCASION for the moment, as if MANHOOD is a light switch you just turn off and on, when YOU feel like it.

    I get it many chicks haven’t seen male leadership and they don’t believe in it – but we gotta start somewhere and what I see black women doing – especially when it comes to their choices are COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE to achieving any goal of repairing the BC.

  • Perspective


    The truth is most of the so called dead beats – shouldn’t have been chosen to be fathers in the first place.

    When you look at a lot of these men they demonstrated none of the characteristics to be a father – yet the mothers laid down with them anyway, unprotected.

    This idea of spreading the blame like Jelly has got to stop.

    We already know that women can potentially end up left with the baby if they get with the wrong guy – WE ALL KNOW THAT – so you would think that black women would have a little bit more discretion, when it comes to unprotected sex, but they don’t and the community is proof to show that.

    The truth is that many black women do not choose black men with the idea of them really being in the equation – (WHICH IS DUMB) because they still expect him to be responsible for what she needs, but the women believe themselves to be the head, the rock, and foundation – this isn’t from the man leaving –

    NO – too many women – GO INTO THE SITUATION WITH THIS IDEA ALREADY IN THEIR HEADS – thanks to the strong independent black woman bandwagon that has promoted these extreme levels of delusion, narcissism, and arrogance among black women. Today’s black women are like,


    Police officer – “YOU CAN’T BREAK THOSE CUFFS”


    Police officer – “What is wrong with you?”

  • Anon

    My mother is/was a single parent. She divorced my step-father when I was 9 years old. My mother is foreign born, into a broken marriage and likely a product of rape. She was sent to live with her dad, but had no real relationship with him – he beat her mercilessly.

    After her divorce, we settled in the U.S. Many people in my community, including my step-father’s fam, took me and my siblings under their wings. I have to say, we had some very good and genuine role models, at one point. Initially, I did very well in school. Initially, my mom was a house mom and was very involved in my education, attending PTA meetings and getting me involved in the community and extra-curricular activities. I would always get awards and recognition for my academics or activities.

    After the divorce, she became more reliant on alcohol, and made friends with negative people who spent most of their idol time shooting the sh!t, getting high or drunk. She did work full-time, sometimes 2-3 jobs; however, none of her extra-time was spent enriching her children. Instead of taking of doing things like us to the library, etc.. she took us with her to friends homes surrounded by drunken/high adults, or took us with her to gamble. She wanted us to walk our ourselves to the city library, and blamed us, kids, for not reading as much as we should. I ran into reading comprehension issues at in middle and junior high school as result of this.

    My step-dad’s mother threatened to call CPS on my mother if she didn’t get us out of the house more, as she’d stop doing anything with us. We just sat in the house watching her sleep on the couch drunk, and she forbade us from going anywhere with anyone. So, for a few summers we were in community summer camps programs that my step-grandmother was also involved with.

    I tried hard in school, but my parent’s lack of involvement had a negative impact on my learning, in addition to the abuse, violence and other odd things they had us exposed to at home after the divorce.

    A lot of people tried to intervene. The ministers wife down the road, the kid’s parents at a school whose children befriended me, even though the usual protocol was to stick with your own when it came socio-economic levels, family ties, etc… A lot of people in my schools and community I give credit of being there, with their time, information, at some crucial points in my life.

    After a while, I got a hang of the school thing. I got more involved in extra-curricular activities on my own. While I never made it a routine to walk to the city library, I got involved in programs like Upward Bound and would walk, weekly to my tutoring session. Weirdly, my mother had an issue with that, and started having an issue with all the school-related extra things I’d gotten myself into, even though my involvement in them led to me making straight A’s. I started seeing where key individuals in the community wanted to mentor me.

    But, something in my mother’s head, whatever void she experienced in her youth, caused her to be resentful of, what she said, ‘how easy’ things were for me. Her family never allowed her to complete her education because they made her the family work mule. No one cared about her education, not even her mother.

    I continued doing what I was doing, despite that. But I started getting severe beatings, and being accused of things that weren’t true. My mentors wanted to meet her, she acted very rude and disgusting towards them. These were people who help me raise money for my education, getting me in front of people to help me get scholarship money.

    Because of how she presented herself, it reflected on me, her child, and people were not so inclined to help me, as a result.

    I proceeded and applied to colleges on my own, using waivers. I got accepted to every school I applied to. I ended up dropping my extracurricular activities to work a job, so that I would have money for books for my first semester, since I wasn’t going to get any scholarship monies, and since getting to-and-from those activities became impossible after my mother refused to help in that. I also had to quit upward bound.

    I worked full-time the summer following graduation and my mother tried to take all of my money, stating that I now had to pay her rent. I got into nasty arguments with her and clung to the little money I made, staying there for the rest of the summer. That was the first time I called her a b!tch to her face, and the first time she give me the finger. Side note: she never receive child support for me, and never pursue it. And it wasn’t until more that 10 years later that I discovered that I’m a product of prostitution.

    I made it to college, but she tried to do everything within her power to discourage me from going, by her own means or through the pathetic people she associated with. Her friends told me that I would probably get pregnant, and that I shouldn’t get to full of myself because ‘they’ would slap me back to reality. My mother gave them permission to say that to me, and I hardly knew those people. She was always trying to involve them in my life in the place of the other people she’d pushed away. “See, so and so is going to help.” But so and so would not be doing anything, or be about anything. So and so can’t/won’t help me raise money, connect me with the right people, or even take me to-and-from my extracurricular activities. Oh, but you’re going to have so-and-so drive me to college, with you in the passenger seat, to see where I’ll be living. All so-and-so was there to do was get in my business and work with my mother in trying to discourage, belittle and manipulate me into failure. She used these people to intimidate me.

    When I finally got to college, she shamed me for being there. When I called home, she didn’t want to hear about whatever I was going through, how hard it was, etc… I’d made my bed, as she put it. I called and asked for grocery money one week, she told me she didn’t have it; but the following week she called me to say that she donated the amount of money I asked of her the previous week to one of my school’s scholarship fund. The week I got my financial aid, she called me and asked me for rent money, even though I’d moved out of her home 2.5 months prior. While I was there, she told me that I thought to highly of myself and the only reason I was in school is because I thought I was better and wanted to be white.

    All the while, she’s/we’re still living in poverty with no other prospect of getting out – except for the shady business proposition she came to be with. From the time I began getting involved in things to get me into college, she refused to cooperate. All the people who tried to positively influence her children, she pushed them away, even if it meant lying on us to do it – she was jealous and highly resentful for the situation she ended up in, and made us pay for it.

    I know i’m sharing a lot. I don’t care. But, in our situation, college education was attainable. Sponsorship was attainable. My siblings’ aunt was willing to fully sponsor their involvement in the local girl scouts who met right across the street from us every week. On of my step-fathers siblings is a professor, his mother a teacher, with other college educated people in the family who were on the look out fo rus. My parent did everything within their power to disrupt the relationships we had with them and any help we were receiving, or were going to receive. She’d stoop so low as to tell them that we said we didn’t want their help, or criticized their help. And they’d believe her.

    So, for many, it’s not single-motherhood alone that ruins their chances. It’s the fact that there are pathetic wenches out here who do not want to cooperate and do what they need to do to get their kids off on the right track. There are some mentally f!ucked up single-mothers out there who DO NOT want their own children to succeed.

    Where does a student facing that kind of thing, a black student, get the support they need to over come that type of abuse?

    My mother would mislead people, outside of her co-conspiring pathetic friends, into thinking that she wanted me in college, and put up appearances as doing everything she could to get me there.

    And to be honest, I didn’t really understand what was happening while I was going through that. It took me years to really get what she was doing, because that sh!t ain’t normal. Who would have thought? I’d never heard of anyone doing anything like that.

    Her pathetic friends insisted that I would understand and appreciate her when I got ‘grown’. I’m in my 30s and I despise the b!tch (and everything she stands for) for how she played her own flesh and blood. When my sibling was on the right track (teaching, writing for a publication, working, going to school, etc…), they would antagonize them and physically attack them for no reason. But when they get into a bad situation where they’ve messed up and become entrapped economically, she piles on the “Oh, I’m so proud of you.”

    Anyway, I ended up flunking out of college. I chose a traditionally white institution, and it was just hard for me to adjust to the level of competition there. I had no moral support what so ever, because not only did my negative parent affect my family relationships, but also my social life and friendships.

    Some of these single-mothers need psychiatric intervention, for the sake of their children. I can’t believe no one called it that she was not right in the head. She was not committed until many years later. Still, after all of that, the wench hasn’t changed. He heart and mind are purely black/dark, and can’t stand my grandparents for it.

    This dude is blaming single motherhood the way many are blaming guns for the recent school shooting. The real issue is mental health, because I believe, as I’ve witnessed, that single-mothers can raise college graduates. One of my peers had no parents, practically raised themselves, sold drugs to survive from the time they werea kids to their teens, went to college, graduated, etc… But there was a lot of help in our community. All you had to do is show that you want it and were worthy of it.

  • pinklipstick227


    Nice try. I am referring to a specific class of black women in this instance, not black women as a whole. Single mothers who are in the middle and upper-middle class tend to have a much more positive child rearing experience than poorer single women.

  • Perspective

    Nice fallacy of division argument

    “This dude is blaming single motherhood the way many are blaming guns for the recent school shooting. The real issue is mental health, because I believe, as I’ve witnessed, that single-mothers can raise college graduates.”

    So now the issue isn’t single mothers in an of itself – its the fact that the majority of single moms have mental health issues. AMAZING.

    The black community is failing – riddled with single mothers/ no opportunities – and here come the 1%ers who always want to throw up the 1 child who made it.

    My father grew up in a single parent home, and most of his friends never made it out the hood. As a matter of fact my father has no friends from his old neighborhood and most of them are dead or in jail. My father is in his mid 60′s.

    That was a great wonderful story – but it doesn’t even BEGIN to crack the surface on the issue – NOR did you address ANYTHING I SAID – other than give your story.

    The culture have shifted away from stable homes – largely the result of the economical situation or the lack there of – but WOMEN are the biggest pushers of this agenda – to the point that all the decent men are unwilling to participate – at least in the black community. The white community is next.

    Men are disposable or at least that’s what women think until they realize nothing is being built nor maintained for their children to prosper in. They don’t even realize how important having these type of men around are to the point that choosing a male mate is no longer based on WHAT HE IS CAPABLE OF DOING – its all about these intangible intrinsic things like SWAG.

    Unfortunately swag doesn’t build a damn thing.

    Women think they are the rock and the foundation. Sorry but I can’t prevent women having babies with idiots. The women, the men they sleep with, the children they breed – are all going to create a COMMUNITY or area where people live that I am not going to want my children to be around – regardless of whether I share the same skin complexion with these people.

    I would like to see things turn around – but NOT underneath matriarchal conditions because I know that there is no impetus for men to do all the grueling work underneath those conditions.

    Women seriously need to take a back seat on this – but let them tell it – matriarchy is the way to go and women are carving the path for their own lives and CHILDREN – that they are obviously having with men who are unfit to be fathers in the traditional sense because THOSE are the only types of men that they can be with who aren’t going to INTERFERE with the women plans – because these are the type of men who are complacent or measure their manhood by things that have no real power.

    Its at this point, I don’t even know why black people are having children or why black women act like they are so how preserving the race. Preserving the race for what? In your current condition your children are easily conquerable and subject to the authority and power of other groups who aren’t on the stupid backwards role reversed situation that we exist in.

    I don’t know where I’m going – but for real – with the mentality entrenched in the black community, especially among the women, and their sons who AREN’T MEN – that they raised by themselves – I need to get as far away as possible from the blast radius.

    “Oh why don’t you mentor these boys” because I’m not going to do what these women want me to do which is teach these boys how to be responsible devoid of leadership and control. That is a matriarchy!

    Try to teach some young men about responsibility and LEADERSHIP – and watch the black women resist you like hurricane winds.

  • Anon

    I didn’t say the majority of the single moms, I said there are some who do have mental illness.

    My argument is that the percentage that make isn’t that small. Those exceptions are not that few in number, that’s a fallacy and misrepresentation. To imply that single-moms can’t raise college graduates, who matriculate and graduate on time, is a fallacy. I have step-family members (at least 3, including the professor) and cousins who prove that wrong.

    That’s your father. I know fatherless guys from my community who made it to college/finished, as well as those who didn’t go or were killed for whatever reason. Although, among those who didn’t go, there are those who did amount to something, working earnestly towards something – attending school later, going into ministry, and/or starting a family while working a blue collar job (like a mechanic, sales person, construction, legal hustling) and being a faithful husband…college isn’t everything to everyone. Yeah, there were those who got caught up in the drug and/or gang/street beef came and were killed, but not attending college (or going later in life) doesn’t not always produce failure or non-success.

    Addressing what you said? Who are you? My post wasn’t about you or what you said. it was just about my story and giving another example of being a product of a single-mom household. I don’t care about what you said, I didn’t read it.

    My mother did not push the agenda or unstable homes. she a product of emotional abuse, and she had an inability to deal with life, maintain relationships. She didn’t go out with the intention of creating instability, she tried. But her foundation didn’t afford her the tools to go about it the right way. IMO, the ones who were deliberate in this were both of my grandparents.

    My mother had no other reference, no other means than to think that she was the rock. There was no example set before her that would make her think differently, as even my father/step-father was not playing his part right. However, he fixed himself with his next wife. His family/church put him on that path.

    That SWAG B.S. does apply to my parents.

    Men being disposable…that’s not even what the issue was in my family. In my situation/family, the women were disposable. And there were other factors like cultural conflicts, shifting religious, socio-economic values, and physical abuse.

    Those conditions you spelled out don’t apply to all single-mom black families. One of the issue is that, not only do whites over generalize these sorts of things regarding black people, but blacks do that same s!hit.

    You really think that single-black women bask in matriarchy? It’s the only resort when patriarchy becomes oppressive, dismissive and/or the matriarch has evolve never able to properly build relationships with men. It’s better to function under matriarchy while trying to repair that in her posterity, instead of further engaging in oppressive patriarchy where her children make poor decisions in who they choose to marry/procreate with an potentially drive the bloodline into extinction or further destroy the family foundation in the posterity.

    Matriarchy is not a bad thing, and it does not have to be permanent.

    Matriarchy has been part of the indigenous culture from where my African parent is from. It’s not a constant thing, but it’s been documented in local history, sub-regionally. It has it’s purpose. I my specific lineage, IMO, matriarchy exists due to cultural shifts within the family. I have relatives who have matriculated just fine in live under matriarchy, attending college and finish, and everything. Some have been married, some married LATE. None of them participated in gang/street culture or the drug trade.

    Well, @Perspective, if that how you view black women and the black community, they don’t need your azz.

    f!uk off.

  • ceeceego

    in america indians blame whites for their poverty yet they make 20 billion a year in casino earnings..yes the pay taxes but i want to know where the money goes..minorities need to be held accountable too…grow up!!

  • Ravi

    I’ve been studying the achievement gap for some time and I have yet to see research that suggests what the article is claiming he is saying. single parent hood is not the driver of the gap between the races. The gap persists when you control for family structure. black students with both parents in the home do worse than white students with both parents in the home.

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