According to the Mayan calendar 21-12-12, today, is the end of the world. We’ve heard this before and for whatever reason God has spared womankind. Until this afternoon, I assumed we’d get another reprieve. But now the signs point to the end being imminent. I say this with a heavy heart, ya’ll:
Michael Ealy is married.
People.com reported that the actor, 39, married longtime girlfriend (4 years) in a private ceremony back in October.
“Michael has always been a private guy, and he wanted to enjoy his time as a newlywed with his wife privately,” his rep said. “Now that some time has passed and the holidays are here, he wanted to share the news with his fans that he is married and very happy.”
A moment of silence…
Did you hear that? It’s the sound of a million hearts breaking in unison.
Five years ago, when Halle Berry announced she was pregnant, men figuratively wept, mourning the “destruction” of Halle’s banging body. She was full (and glowing) with child, and so many men could only focus on losing their ability to ogle her. Women called their outlook “stupid”, mocked it, openly laughed at their selfishness. And now, the boomerang we unleashed has returned.
Halle’s shape returned with a f%^ -you vengeance, placing all their worries about her “blowing up” in vain. Michael Ealy is gone, ya’ll… for good.
I was a little late falling into the trance of his aura. I’d missed his brief appearances on Law & Order and Soul Food when he was making his foray into acting. He first caught my eye in Barbershop, a film I have no recollection of other than him being the Brother with the blue eyes— blue like the clear water surrounding any Caribbean island— … and the cornrows. The hairstyle was past its heyday, but if he’d just “do something with it”, there was potential to be worked with. Most definitely.
Like some sort of “Catfish” participant, I fell in love with a man I’d never met watching “Their Eyes Were Watching God”. He was Tea Cake, his wife-B stained with sweat from a hard day’s work, wild-haired, hairy –chested, and sexy as all global get out. He was the young thang who courted Miss Janie, by bringing by strawberries, teaching her how to shoot a pistol, and tickling her feet with a rose. When Tea Cake finally put it on Janie, he leaned into lick her mouth and I leaned into the screen, mouth agape, wishing it was mine. I. Was. Sprung.