Women Wept: Michael Ealy Is Now Married

by Demetria L. Lucas

Michael EalyAccording to the Mayan calendar 21-12-12, today, is the end of the world. We’ve heard this before and for whatever reason God has spared womankind. Until this afternoon, I assumed we’d get another reprieve. But now the signs point to the end being imminent. I say this with a heavy heart, ya’ll:

Michael Ealy is married.

People.com reported that the actor, 39, married longtime  girlfriend (4 years) in a private ceremony back in October.

“Michael has always been a private guy, and he wanted to enjoy his time as a newlywed with his wife privately,” his rep said. “Now that some time has passed and the holidays are here, he wanted to share the news with his fans that he is married and very happy.”

A moment of silence…

.

.

.

Did you hear that? It’s the sound of a million hearts breaking in unison.

Five years ago, when Halle Berry announced she was pregnant, men figuratively wept, mourning the “destruction” of Halle’s banging body. She was full (and glowing) with child, and so many men could only focus on losing their ability to ogle her. Women called their outlook “stupid”, mocked it, openly laughed at their selfishness. And now, the boomerang we unleashed has returned.

Halle’s shape returned with a f%^ -you vengeance, placing all their worries about her “blowing up” in vain.  Michael Ealy is gone, ya’ll… for good.

I was a little late falling into the trance of his aura. I’d missed his brief appearances on Law & Order and Soul Food when he was making his foray into acting. He first caught my eye in Barbershop, a film I have no recollection of other than him being the Brother with the blue eyes— blue like the clear water surrounding any Caribbean island— … and the cornrows. The hairstyle was past its heyday, but if he’d just “do something with it”, there was potential to be worked with. Most definitely.

Like some sort of “Catfish” participant, I fell in love with a man I’d never met watching “Their Eyes Were Watching God”. He was Tea Cake, his wife-B stained with sweat from a hard day’s work, wild-haired, hairy –chested, and sexy as all global get out. He was the young thang who courted Miss Janie, by bringing by strawberries, teaching her how to shoot a pistol, and tickling her feet with a rose. When Tea Cake finally put it on Janie, he leaned into lick her mouth and I leaned into the screen, mouth agape, wishing it was mine. I. Was. Sprung.

(Continue Reading @ A Belle in Brooklyn…)

 

  • B

    I did not weep. He is not a panty dropper for me.

  • AM

    Lance Gross. now, if HE got married………..I’d be heartbroken!! Really and truly.

  • JJ

    Never found him attractive but I know a lot of women did. Crazy how he kept her a secret for so long.

  • Stephanie

    another one bites the dust …ahhh, lol

  • Yvette

    I hate, hate, hate that I thought this… but the first thing that came to mind was, why couldn’t she be black? Am I wrong for that?

  • Smilez_920

    Lol no I thought that too but it’s whatever . I think his mother or father is white or some other nationality . So I wasn’t to surprised.

  • JJ

    No, I’m sure most of us thought it but a black women can’t think that without being labeled insecure which is ridiculous. But at the same time we have become used to it so it doesn’t really matter that much anymore.

  • P

    Aww…congrats to Michael and his bride! Wishing them plenty of blessings and a happy/successful marriage..

  • Chillyroad

    I can’t say I was ever into him. I think his wife may be ethnically Persian. They have the ugliest language I’ve ever heard but she is beautiful. Anyone from LA knows that Persians guys are really cute. Very hairy though. My first instance of love at first site was a Persian guy.

  • the original lol

    for some reason i have a thing for hairy men…i can’t explain it, all that hair turns me on…

    smh at myself

  • D.T.

    Ugh!!!!

  • Smilez_920

    +1 . I agree ppl always trying to call women insecure . I’m plenty secure but I’m a black women who has grown to know M.E. through his movie roles . In those roles his love interests are usually black women. So of course I noticed , ME roles don’t reflect his real life love interest. That’s fine with me, but I had my fingers cross that he might have a sister :) . But I’m not losing sleep over it .

  • http://gravatar.com/missinformation7 Ms. Information

    Ever notice that the black male actors with the most successful careers(Sam Jackson, Morgan Freeman, Denzel, Will Smith, Chris Rock) ALWAYS have black wives? Just sayin ;)

  • MISS_EMCEE

    Lol he don’t want y’all black asses and not mines either. If you’re dark or brown shiiiiiiddddd. Same thing with lance gross, Columbus short, and whoever else bkack women thristdom meter beeps at.

  • Yvette

    @Ms. Information: Well played ma’am, well played lol.

  • http://gravatar.com/missinformation7 Ms. Information

    lol…ain’t it sad!

  • http://gravatar.com/missinformation7 Ms. Information

    @ Yvette…thanks..lol.

  • Tara

    Those guys are dying off. The new generation of black male actors with successful careers will NOT be marrying black women. That is something that black women have to tell themselves to make themselves feel better. Sam Jackson likes white women. Morgan Freeman is divorced and dating a white woman, Denzel has cheated on his wife several times. If Will and Jada break up, he aint marrying no black woman. Chris Rock was caught up in a paternity suit with a white girl and discussed it on TV. Black women are in denial and are going to be really hurt when they start realizing the truth. The wealthiest, most desirable black men are not marrying black women. Accept it.

  • MISS_EMCEE

    Yesssss. They worst of all I suspect majority of the women actors date and marry regardless of race are beards anyway. If clutch did an article about gay parties and down low men on the big screen this site wouldn’t work.

  • AM

    excuuuuuuse me, Lance does show black sisters a whole lotta of love, to the point he was engaged to one! C’mon!

  • Smilez_920

    Idk about the other ones but didn’t Lance Gross almost marry Eva Pigford ( ANTM) . I know he likes black women.

    Now the others :/ minus Boris Kojo I can’t say.

  • MISS_EMCEE

    You’re correct because black women support everything they do. Well his acting career is about to go down hill like Cuba gooding jr and Taye diggs. Once, black women found out they were with white women lol their careers took a dump. Ohhh I forgot about diggs in private practice but I don’t watch that show. That’s why he kept it a secret. Boy was trying to get some more dollars in that account before this came out. I believe it wasn’t by choice. I think one of those tabloids was going to out him. I suspect media takeout. I see their heading of the story now “okay ladies your favorite sexy blue eyed black man got him a Becky” lmaoooooo

  • Tara

    Michael Ealy mostly dated out of his race and kept it a secret knowing that he was the black woman’s heart throb. Congrats to him but why a secret for four years? He played black women.

  • Chillyroad

    He should have kept it a secret from anyone. He should be judged on his talents or lack thereof and nothing else.

  • Tara

    No your gripe is legitimite. If high calibur white male actors married black women, they would lose a lot of their white female fan base.

  • Not surprised

    I kind of expect it. I’m actually surprised when the woman is black.

    Calling black women insecure is just to shut us up. It is perfectly natural for women to be upset that the most eligible men of their group take their resources elsewhere and give money to other people’s communities. Asian American women marry out at a high rate, and Asian American men have expressed their dislike of this as well. You rarely hear anything out of them, but I have read their opinions on the web.

    If every white actor in Hollywood had an Asian woman on his arm, you can bet that white women would be pissed. If Asian American men began dating other women, you can bet Asian American women would be pissed. They think we are insecure because they haven’t seen it on other women, but it is a natural reaction. I think Jewish women were having this problem and they were upset about it.

    Some women are territorial. Some women see it as a personal rejection of these men thinking that we are not good enough. Well he has said nothing bad about black women so far, so I hope this is not the case for him unlike all these other black entertainers these days. The “black woman have attitudes” thing is just what they throw out to place the blame on us. Many of these men prefer these women for the same reason Asian American women are with white men and Jewish men were with other white women. For each of these groups in my opinion, the high occurrence of out of group dating is a rejection of the opposite gender of their group because they think their preferred group is better. That is how I see it. But Ealy is okay with me unless he opens his mouth and pulls a Taye Diggs or Brian White. Why should we support these types of men?

    I keep my thoughts to myself though. You will notice Asian American men do as well. It’s not a cute look to scowl at interracial couples and fuss about people stealing your men. You’re reinforcing the “black women have attitudes” thing. I try to assume interracial couples are together for the right reasons until they open their mouths and say something negative. Interracial couples are okay if these feelings are not involved, but black women should not feel insecure or catty about not supporting people like Taye Diggs and Brian White. I don’t support them. I knew Diggs had a white wife, and that was okay with me. But when he opened his mouth and said that mess, I was done with him. For me, it’s not even just interracial dating. I quickly throw out all my support for black “entertainers” who try to use black women as the butt of their joke. Most black entertainers have a large black female following that helped them become successful. Then you bite the hand that feeds. Not mine.

  • P

    I think she has a pretty smile.

  • Chillyroad

    The thickness of the hair is the real problem. When black men are hairy, their hair is short but their hair is thick and long. Like a Persian rug. lol

  • Tara

    That is not true.

  • http://gravatar.com/ceecollegegal CeeCee

    I maybe in the minority here, but I didn’t weep. 0_o

  • Tara

    Yeah but realistically black women fantasize about him. He gives them a fantasy but they dont have a chance with him. Matthew McCaughnahey said years ago that he liked black women but he did not want to alienate his fan base.

  • http://gravatar.com/missinformation7 Ms. Information

    lol – i named the TOP money making actors…

  • the original lol

    rrrrrrrr

    don’t matter, hairy men all day please,the thicker the better..

  • Kay

    Eh, I’m not too mad. I don’t really care that he dates outside his race, his choices are his own.

  • Sweetles

    *Shrugs*

  • P

    Well, I guess all don’t agree…lol!

  • MimiLuvs

    Oh, boo hoo. Whatta tragedy!

  • Not surprised

    I kind of expect it. I’m actually surprised when the woman is black.

    Calling black women insecure is just to shut us up. It is perfectly natural for women to be upset that the most eligible men of their group take their resources elsewhere and give money to other people’s communities. Asian American women marry out at a high rate, and Asian American men have expressed their dislike of this as well. You rarely hear anything out of them, but I have read their opinions on the web.

    If every white actor in Hollywood had an Asian woman on his arm, you can bet that white women would be pissed. If Asian American men began dating other women, you can bet Asian American women would be pissed. They think we are insecure because they haven’t seen it on other women, but it is a natural reaction. I think Jewish women were having this problem and they were upset about it.

    Some women are territorial. Some women see it as a personal rejection of these men thinking that we are not good enough. Well he has said nothing bad about black women so far, so I hope this is not the case for him unlike all these other black entertainers these days. The “black woman have attitudes” thing is just what they throw out to place the blame on us. Many of these men prefer these women for the same reason Asian American women are with white men and Jewish men were with other white women. For each of these groups in my opinion, the high occurrence of out of group dating is a rejection of the opposite gender of their group because they think their preferred group is better. That is how I see it. But Ealy is okay with me unless he opens his mouth and pulls a Taye Diggs or Brian White. Why should we support these types of men?

    I keep my thoughts to myself though. You will notice Asian American men do as well. It’s not a cute look to scowl at interracial couples and fuss about people stealing your men. You’re reinforcing the “black women have attitudes” thing. I try to assume interracial couples are together for the right reasons until they open their mouths and say something negative. Interracial couples are okay if these feelings are not involved, but black women should not feel insecure or catty about not supporting people like Taye Diggs and Brian White. I don’t support them. I knew Diggs had a white wife, and that was okay with me. But when he opened his mouth and said that mess, I was done with him. For me, it’s not even just interracial dating. I quickly throw out all my support for black “entertainers” who try to use black women as the butt of their joke. Most black entertainers have a large black female following that helped them become successful. Then you bite the hand that feeds. Not mine.

  • Yvette

    @Not surprised – There’s a lot of truth in this comment.

  • THe Comment

    I didn’t either. Blue eyes on a black dude does not automatically make him fine. But congrats to him and his soon to be wife.

  • Smilez_920

    1) Michael Ealy my boo. So any woman taking him off of the market kills part of the fantasy.

    2) I’m not hating because he’s with a non-black woman. But it does kill the other part of the fantasy. He’s played the lover interest for a lot of black women for many years now, so of course it’s a little disappointing to see him play ” the black man loving a black woman” and then in real life he’s not that .

    3) I think what happens with a lot of blk men that go into the entertainment industry , is that they get exposed to a different group of women. Now yes some of them don’t like blk women period ( some one mentioned Tay Diggs). But for a lot of them it’s just exposer to different women. Men like women. If your cute your cute.

    4) most entertainers date ppl in the industry. I noticed a lot of blk men with black wives , usually were with their wives before they went main stream. We say it here all the time about how we need more black women on screen and behind the screen. If your only dating women in the industry , and there’s only but so many black women who are around your age , and that you might find attractive , that aren’t taken. There’s going to be a slim chance that he will just date black women. So now he’s dating all different types of women and he just ended up falling for the other woman.

  • Tallulah Belle

    I beg to differ. Robert DeNiro is America’s most celebrated white male actor and he loves black women. All of his wives, his side pieces and his children are black. This preference for our beauty and style has not hurt his career one little bit. Others include Bradley Cooper, Chris Noth (Mr. Big from Sex and the City), Carlos Santana, Rob Thomas (Matchbox 20), Frank Langella, scruffy ol’ Bill Maher, Oliver Martinez, Bob Dylan, Mick Jagger (not married but, he never is), Chaz Palmenteri, David Bowie, Robin Thicke etc… There are for sure lots more, but they are probably encouraged to keep their partners out of the spotlight for the reasons that you noted, maintaining a white fan base. Black women vary incredibly in terms of looks and demeanor. We truly run the gamut in terms of our physical appearance and body shape. Just because you don’t find one kind or individual black woman attractive does not mean that men don’t find other stunningly divine. And, many of us are quite divine. Many men, of all races, love black women.

  • binks

    Meh…my heart didn’t break. Aside from his eyes, he is rather average like I can met guys who looks similar to him if I wanted too so I never got the big whoop about him aside from his eyes. But then again I think Jesse Williams from Grey’s Anatomy is super hot with his brown skin and bluish/grayish eyes way way WAY hotter than Michael Ealy, now I felt some kind of way when he got married…lol

  • Chillyroad

    @Tara

    Last night I saw the movie Lawless and Tom Hardy is just…. I dont think he has ever been with a black woman. does that mean I cant appreciate his beauty or his work? Ditto my favorite male model in the world Jon Kortejarena who apparently is a homosexual. I dont understand the bit about men having to like black women or even women period in order for me to find them attractive and their work noteworthy.

  • MK

    It is probably because I wasn’t born in this country, but I don’t understand why is is a problem if a black man wants to date/marry a non black woman. Black women do it to, I see a lot of black women here where I live in the US with non black men, than the other way around. What’s important is love, not the color of your skin.

  • Ask_ME

    “It is perfectly natural for women to be upset that the most eligible men of their group take their resources elsewhere and give money to other people’s communities.”

    I just want to say not all black women CARE. I don’t personally feel like black men belong to me and I certainly don’t belong to them. I really wish people who make these types of statements would speak for themselves rather than the entire collective.

  • http://yahoo.com Banta

    I’m not upset tht he got married, I wish him and his new wife much happiness and many many children. I would like to note that Michael Ealy claimed he was not in a relationship / that he did not want to date anyone in the industry. Now he’s been dating the Persian woman of his dreams for 4 years and she’s a wanna be actress. I feel played! If his privacy is as important to him as he’s said than it is my thought that he should have kept his marriage private as well. I don’t think women are upset that he’s married, I think they are more upset at finding out they’ve once again been lied to by another black actor. I totally agree with “binks” Jesse Williams of Grey’s Anatomy is way hotter than M. Ealy, however Jesse Williams did not lie about his status and his wife happens to be a sister that we can all identify with. Thank you all for your honest comments without all of the cursing. I myself can read them and take your opinions more seriously than others posted on other sites who allow the name calling and cussing!

  • Tallulah Belle

    Something tells me that you are not a particularly handsome of masculine man. Just a gut instinct. I sense you don’t do too well with the ladies across the board. You sound a tad bitter. Sad.

  • Ask_ME

    Umm…I’m from Los Angeles, California and there PLENTY of black women in that city…film industry aside.

    Why not just accept that these men met women they like and they married them…the end. No need to rationalize it or analyze it. Unless they openly degrade black women, I as a black woman, have no reason to question their unions.

  • Z

    Why do black women care enough to even right an article like this? That’s the real problem.

  • Not surprised

    Well yes. All of that was my opinion. I don’t speak for the collective.

  • Smilez_920

    There are plenty of black women in a lot of major cities. In the entertainment industry there are a lot of black women, but Im sure there are more white and ” other nationalities ” in the industry.

    I’m personally not hurt or shocked . I put it in the last part of my comment that he probably open to dating whatever women he likes , they met and just feel for each other nothing more nothing less.

    I was pointing the other factors out because sometimes black women act like all men in the industry dating outside of their race have some type of personal vendetta against black women. I mean there’s a variety of women around him , he could fall in live with anyone of them and they might not be black.

    As I said in other comments I’m not personally questioning their union. But on this comment page the question of blk actors with black wives and them dating outside of their race came up so that’s where my comment stems from.

  • Ask_ME

    This is a good comment to point to when the women on this site write articles like, “Black women blogs where the male trolls are.”

    I’ll go ahead and do my part by hitting the “report comment” button.

  • Ask_ME

    That was at SMH comment.

  • Drebin

    Most of the women on this site like/prefer white men (nothing wrong with this), or highly support IRR when it involves a black woman (i.e – Eve).

    But when eligible black men date or marry out they are upset?!?!?!!?

    Hypocrites!

  • Ask_ME

    No, we aren’t all upset. Those women that are only speak for themselves.

  • http://yahoo.com Banta

    Are they really hypocrites? Do any of these so call black women you are referring to comment that they are only interested in black men? Have they implied that they would not date a man outside of their race? I’m not upset that M Ealy married a Persian, I’m irritated that he flat out said on at least 3 different interviews that he was single and he loved his privacy. If privacy is a major factor for him than he should have stayed his course and kept his marriage private as well. Being played by an actor is no less irritating than being played by a person one actually knows!

  • Yup
  • Drebin

    I know lol, ALOT of these black woman are pro-interracial…except when it comes to black men, some of them will even go as far to try boycott the celeb black men who date/marry interracial, like WTF?

    But when a black woman dates out its “you go gurrrl”. No objection what-so-ever from ANY of them. You cant help but be entertained by it ;)

    Perspective was right they are full of inconsistencies.

  • MimiLuvs

    Sorry, I read the name of Tom Brady and I blacked-out.

  • AM

    woah!! hold up, wait a minute. whatchumean, “tore up?!! I’m having visuals, and I might just FAINT…….explain thyself…..

  • AM

    @ Mimi,

    You blacked out coz he’s hot, or regular azz all hell?!

  • leelah

    the article didn’t say anything negative about his wife. its just a funny piece about a hot star being taken off the market. i’ve seen similar pieces about white actors

  • Child, Please

    Congrats to him and his wife! It’s good he kept it a secret all this time and I wish them well!

  • Blue

    And you speak for ALL successful BLACK MEN, Tara? SMDH

  • Treece

    Girl yes! Michael Ealy is aight….i guess. I’m not mad at all. Jesse Williams is quite the hot one

  • Ask Me

    Self-hating because I don’t care who this man married?? Black men don’t belong to me and I don’t belong to them. Nothing self hating about it…or are you made because I don’t wince at this couple?

  • Apple

    Sipping my tea for the comment section

  • Treece

    I don’t know what the big deal is…..Some of us act like it’s a suprise when a Black man who is a celeb marries or gets outed for dating a White woman. It’s not new. BM who are celebs have been doing it since forever…..and really, so have BW in Hollyweird. I personally don’t find anything wrong with it. I’ve dated outside of Black men (White or Latino in addition to Black men) on and off since I started dating in HS. It’s no big deal and I don’t see it as a problem when a Black man does it either. We need to stop feeling so personally betrayed when Black men date/marry outside our race and open our own minds up to other possibilities. We are all one people under God and when the roll is called up yonder He will not care what color or kind our earthly bodies were down here.

    Besides, I am probably one of the few Black women on here that really doesn’t find Micheal Ealy all that attractive. I mean he’s okay…..but, meh.

  • John Dube

    How many Indian/Pakistani women do you see marrying average black men? Not many. It might be love. But there is also a jacked up socio, economic and status dynamic that is behind a lot of these interracial marriages.

  • EST. 1986

    Something must be wrong with me because most of the men who women go cuckoo for are just blah to me.

  • Guest1234

    @Tara

    You are spot on. Have you ever mentioned Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to a white woman? I mentioned how he did the right thing to a white lady ONE TIME and she dang near blew a gasket.

    Brad Pitt leaves the “ideal” every white woman for ANOTHER WHITE WOMAN who happens to be more ethnic and exotic in appearance, and these while ladies lost their minds. They got all kinds of nasty things to say about him just because he left a woman who they identified with for a more exotic white lady. Can you IMAGINE how they’d act if he left Jennifer Aniston for a black woman? They’d be done torched the man’s house. So I don’t want to hear any nonsesnse about how bw are horrible and NOBODY else responds negatively to that sort of thing. They sure do! I’ve seen it first hand, frequently.

    I’m not EVEN going to get into the story of me overhearing some white women freaking out about white men with asian women. The only thing that bothers them more is when a white man marries a black woman. And THAT I know firsthand. I married a white man – and BOY do the white ladies hate it. They’re not all bad, of course. But generally speaking, white women resent our union with a passion. It’s pretty darn palpable.

    But life is life, and you gotta do what makes you happy. But I just can’t stand the nonsense that black women are alone in noticing when a man of their race marries out and commenting on it (sometimes negatively). That ain’t nothin new. Everybody does it.

  • Guest1234

    Go ahead and add President Obama to that list. Everybody respects a man with a black wife. Shoooottt…. my husband is white and he gets MAD respect at work and in social life for being married to a beautiful black woman. (Every time I meet his bosses he gets a raise. They ain’t crazy! lol)

    Black men just missed that memo. Black women are FLY and, frankly, all the other men really respect us and a man who is man enough to make a life with us. IT shows he’s strong as iron, and he’s got the strongest wife to prove it.

  • MimiLuvs

    Treece, 1986 and me are in the same club. I don’t find him attractive.

  • EST. 1986

    This individual frequently resorts to personal attacks when his opinions are challenged, but yet he finds it suitable to label others as having a ‘childish tantrum’.

  • Dash

    shawty the sweetie comment below on: Eve on Interracial Dating

    “Black men are up here angry because a talented beautiful black woman wants something better for her future and children!

    BTW, that man is handsome, hope he has a brother!”

    ———-

    Can you explain your whopping double standard??

  • http://gravatar.com/chanela17 chanela17

    can we start the list off with idris elba??? i do no understand!!

    no ninendo!

  • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

    I knew this was going to be posted and I also know what the conversation was going to be in the comments. Lol. So predictable.

    Anyway, she’s very pretty.

  • Yep

    Your post comes off very “nana nana in yo face, black women!” BUT you are speaking that ugly truth. The loyalty is not being reciprocated ladies.

  • http://gravatar.com/chanela17 chanela17

    because why would a woman like a man who doesn’t even want her?

    just like how most of the male models are gay. that’s not sexy. he doesn’t even like women, he likes butt ,so what’s the point?

    it’s not the same as with men. if a woman likes men cool. if a woman likes women then that makes her sexier.

    it’s a huge turn off when i find out a guy i liked is gay

  • http://gravatar.com/chanela17 chanela17

    and the sky is blue. everybody breathes also….

  • http://gravatar.com/chanela17 chanela17

    los angeles is black man non black woman heaven

  • http://gravatar.com/chanela17 chanela17

    LOL @ lying about his status!!

    so dating someone of a different race is akin to aids now?

  • Guest1234

    @SMH

    Who’s getting on black men? I’m just sayin’ that dudes of other races have more respect for black women than they do. Generally speaking, they didn’t get the memo that other dudes find us pretty darned fly.

    I’m not self-affirming. I’m letting other black women know what’s really good. What’s ur problem? U mad?

  • Guest1234

    @SMH

    What the heck are you talking about? My saying that people respect black women and the men who marry them isn’t “getting on black men.”

    All I said is that most of them didn’t get the memo that black women are generally considered pretty darned respectable and awesome among everyone else. You just don’t want black women to know they’re fly. Well, I’m telling ‘em every chance I get. And there ain’t a darned thing you can do to stop me.

    What’s your problem, anyway? You mad? Well, STAY MAD!

  • http://1220-media.com Michelle

    This was so well written. Hilarious. Taking a moment of silence…and a trip to David’s Bridal to return my wedding dress that I was going to wear on our (Michael Ealy – of course) our wedding day. Pray for me! LOLOL!

  • EST. 1986

    Yes, we can!

  • isola

    They make a lovely couple. And he was smart to keep this quiet.

  • Kacey

    Obama dated plenty of white women before Michelle. As-a-matter-of-fact, Michelle may be one of the few (or perhaps the only) black woman he ever dated. Now, I believe he truly loves her, but his political career also depended on him marrying a black woman. Let’s be honest – he would not have gotten the overwhelming support of the black community that he has if he were married to anyone other than a black (or mixed-race black) woman.

  • Anthony

    I will offer that non-black women are not fundamentally different from black women when looking at a potential mate. This woman saw an attractive man who was on the way up, he liked her too, and she stuck with him.

    Frankly, his being black probably has some cultural and social demerits for her. The fact that he is successful, and that he is not that dark physically, make his ethnicity something that could be ignored.

    Black men hate to hear it, but the fact is that it is not hard to get a white or non-black woman, but to get a truly desirable woman from outside of the black community can be pretty hard. The cold-blooded truth is that black men have a very low social status, and just like applying for jobs, we have to be twice as good to be appealing to a white or non-black woman that actually has something going on.

    I will say one more thing. I was struck by the writer saying how she was attracted to Ealy’s blue (grey?) eyes. For all the pooh poohing this man marrying a Middle Eastern or South Asian woman, many sisters find this man attractive because of his non-typically black features. We as a people are much more influenced by “white” standards of beauty than we like to admit. I have said before that finding racial mixture or whites attractive is not a bad thing, it is a natural by product of the last four hundred years. That is not to say that fully black looking men and women are unattractive. I know my wife is quite dark, and I think she is one beautiful woman! I am also pretty dark myself.

  • AdanmaJ

    I would have to disagree with on the language part. I happen to find the Persian language (Farsi) to be quite beautiful, but to each her own. :)

  • kelly

    I always liked this guy every since I watched there eyes were watching god.. to bad he didn’t get with a black women but oh well… As long as he’s happy..

  • kelly

    omg tom hardy is so sexy

  • kelly

    idris is fine what r u smoking… Now Lil Wayne on the other hand dose nothing for me..

  • Well..

    Let’s be honest – he would not have gotten the overwhelming support of the black community that he has if he were married to anyone other than a black (or mixed-race black) woman.

    ———-

    Re: Obama, IDK about that Kacey, I think like many things in the BC, black women would have bit the bullet and supported him for the “greater good” IOW supporting the “black” man no matter what. And without a doubt black men would have voted for him regardless.

  • http://gravatar.com/mimiandy1683 MimiLuvs

    I am not surprise either.
    For a lot of women, he is attractive.

  • MySister’sKeeper

    Why bother with facts and statistics? SMH! It’s sad you wish so poorly on black women.

  • MIkela123

    She’s pretty, but just looks… typical. Not really striking or anything, which isn’t a bad thing.

    And I don’t think they look that great together. She looks kind of young for him actually.

    Oh I’m not saying this because I like him. I’m not into light-eyed brothas, haha. I just don’t see “hot couple.” It just looks like he went for the typical young non-black chick. It doesn’t even feel like its a match that would last.

    Anyone, you know what they say about opinions….lol I wish them well.

  • Chillyroad

    No disrespect to anyone but it seems like their every statement ends in an hi pitched squeal. Going to UCLA and always being in the westwood area was like visiting a pig farm. Both women and men are very attractive in a classical way.

  • http://gravatar.com/arlette81 arlette

    lil wayne does something for someone??????

  • http://gravatar.com/arlette81 arlette

    what do you mean by strong exactly? physically, emotionally….

  • MISS_EMCEE

    He’s married. So get your Terrell Owens tissue and let the emo rain out. http://www.accesshollywood.com/greys-anatomy-star-jesse-williams-marries-longtime-girlfriend_article_69267.

    I’m shocked she’s black lol.

  • AM

    NO WAY!!!!!! ah ah!!! NO WAY!!!!

    I reject that!!

  • EST. 1986

    You make me laugh.

  • EST. 1986

    You responded just as how I thought you would. Enough said.

  • Chillyroad

    @Anthony

    “Black men hate to hear it, but the fact is that it is not hard to get a white or non-black woman, but to get a truly desirable woman from outside of the black community can be pretty hard. The cold-blooded truth is that black men have a very low social status, and just like applying for jobs, we have to be twice as good to be appealing to a white or non-black woman that actually has something going on.”

    And shouldnt that be the case? A highly desireable woman should choose the best amoung men. Likewise a man who is on top of his game should have access to the most desireable woman. Why should any man or woman hate to hear it?

  • Anthony

    Chillyroad, many don’t like to hear it because the truth hurts. As for “the most desirable woman or man,” I feel that is simply in the eye of the beholder. I do not see white women as inherently more attractive.

  • Dave

    Difference between black men and women: dude gets married, black women want to know if she was black…black men want to know if she was hot. Judging from that pic, he did pretty good for himself.

  • Anthony

    Since they are married, I wish them well. I do agree, however, that she is pretty in an average young woman sort of way. In terms of looks, she is not exceptional. I guess I am just reacting to the tendency of some of us to just lose our minds over fair skin and straight hair.

  • victoria

    I agree with many commentors. He is not attractive. Nice lips, but nothing else. Shamar Moore, Ibris Elba, and a commentor mentioned Little Wayne. Sorry, I dont find any of them attractive.

    I do wish them well. Congrats, God bless. May they have a strong, unbreakable bond.

    Annnnd…Im surprised that so many women on this site are questioning why he married a non black woman especially since so many of you are pro singledom, pro committed relationships instead of marriage, and pro single motherhood.

  • chinaza

    Good-looking couple.
    On the side, I don’t think black women are angry or paranoid when we can all see that successful, black men prefer non-black women when compared to white or Asian men, at a similar level.
    It is too prevalent to be simple coincidence so we know it’s not just random choice. At the same time, it should have liberated black women from misplaced loyalty to mentally-enslaved men.

  • Tina

    As a black woman myself, I see a bunch of salty ass comments. I’m going to have to go with the men on this one. I mean it’s funny how one minute Micheal was one of the hottest men in the world and now since he wasn’t all that anyway lol.

    I also see comments like “who cares black men been marrying/date non-black women” along with the essays on how black men aint shit, they did us wrong, white men treat us better etc….well if you don’t care then why write a long speech?

    I have not seen black men (at least publicly) trying to Stacy Dash for being overly supportive of Romney (and she’s known to like white men) due to the fact that she’s was one of the women black men dreamed of having.

  • The Other Jess

    everybody you named is 40+. they had to marry black then.

    hatred of black women is the new skool black.

  • The Other Jess

    Black woman, in how many ways can they say how much they hate you? The masses of Black men accept racial hatred against Black women, but want you to still support them. They make it clear every day, from movies, to music, to real life. 400 years and this is what we get? And continue to get? Wake up and know your true enemy – he is now a BLACK man.

  • Anthony

    I know I cannot speak to the female experience since I have not lived it, but I can speak to dealing with rejection as a man with a weight problem. Early on, I learned that I was not desired, and in turn, I grew to dislike women who reminded me of myself. I lost weight only to be disappointed when the fine girls still ignored me. In time, I did date and I actually made with a few “cute” girls. What eventually made a difference to me was learning to accept myself. Once I no longer despised my fat, dark, nappy headed self, I lost the need to run away from dark, fat, nappy headed women. I also lost the tendency to take crap from “cute” women just so I could be involved with them.
    I eventually married a woman who is physically somewhat like myself, but cam pretty close to marrying a woman who looked nearly white before I met my wife.

    I guess my point is that self esteem will allow a person not to feel bad if others do not always reaffirm your physical attractiveness. Similarly, I know that I would have been the same
    man with the same values no matter who I had married, that is why I decline to judge people by the color of their spouses.

  • Dave

    Really? So the white guy with the trophy asian wife or the scores of asian women who very vocally express their preference for white men over asian men has been lost on black women? Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t “race loyalty” more of a hold over from slavery than interracial marriages…or am I just being too analytical in my response?

  • MIkela123

    For those who think that Black women are overreacting and the only group who reacts emotionally to interracial couples, let’s not forget one couple that got railroaded by the media and the public for their relationship:

    Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez

    Ben Affleck’s career and rep NOSEDIVED when he was with Jennifer. If you read some of his recent interviews you can tell he is still somewhat bitter about how he was treated by the press when he was with Jennifer. People called her a diva, a bitch, all sorts of words, when it was no small fact that her being Puerto Rican was what brought out most of animosity. Now he is with Jennifer Garner, and everyone (white) breathed a collective sigh of relief. All is right in the world once again.

    On the flip side, I can’t begin to tell you how happy Puerto Ricans where when JLo married Mark Anthony. Many thought Sean Combs was a thug (which at the time may not have been too far from the truth) and trash, and they weren’t pleased to see the hell the media put her through when she was dating Ben Affleck. JLo and Mark Anthony was a match made in Puerto Rican heaven – they were the Latino “IT” couple.
    Well, that was great while it lasted.

    What most of you forget is that many actors and entertainers HIDE the women they’re with because of how it impacts their image. They are white actors who like and occasionally date Black women, but they don’t bring them out in the public. These people have agents who craft their image and know the damage that can take place when they date the “wrong” woman – at least wrong in the eyes of America.

    We’re not unique. Black women are just branded with all this racial and emotional animosity. And its unfair that this burden is placed on us.

  • MIkela123

    Didn’t THINK LIKE A MAN come out this year? So during all those promotional parties and events where was this chick? I don’t remember seeing her in any of the pictures with Michael. So he’s been dating her for 4 years but just so happen to leave her home when he was running around the country promoting these movies??

    Everything is STRATEGIC, my people. Maybe he feels confident that he’s crossed over and don’t have to do anymore Black movies, so he can now bring his woman out. LOL.

  • MIkela123

    Calling Black men are enemy is no more helpful than they’re calling us their enemy, or when (screwed up) Perspective claims that we’ve castrated Black men.

    Look, we are conquered screwed up emotionally damaged people – both males and females There’s no way around this. Its just that our dysfunction manifests in different ways, depending on gender. That’s all. Black women need to stand up and defend themselves, we can’t just drop Black men.

  • KK

    Totally agree with you. Never fancied him, Jesse Williams on the other hand….so so hot

    Blair Underwood(esp Set it off), Andre 3000 and Nicholas Anelka (French football) are some of the hottest black guys to me.

    I almost wept when Nicholas got married as he was/is my ultimate eye candy.

  • Ask_ME

    The reality is nobody is obligated to anyone in this world. So black women can very fell “drop black men” if that’s what they desire. Black women don’t own black men and black men don’t own black women.

    And no, we’re not talking about mother/child relationships here (as in black mother having black male children) we’re talking about romantic/sexual relationships…just so we don’t even go into the “black women cannot escape black men because they give birth to black children argument.”

    If black women choose not to deal with black men that’s their choice and vice versa.

  • Bosslady

    I don’t think it’s crazy, just logical, especially in the industry he is in. There is no need your the media to be in your love life.

  • Bosslady

    Lol, No, I didn’t notice, but interesting observation!
    Nevertheless, as long as one is happy and in love, it’s all good!

  • http://twitter.com/JumpJunkieJoe Geechee Goddess (@JumpJunkieJoe)

    I am another Black Woman who really doesn’t give a damn. I like him as a actor. I’ve enjoyed a lot of his movies. Do I recognize that he’s handsome, yes. But he never was someone I ever had fantacies about. He’s just really not my type. That whole light skin with light eyes is not a trate that all Black Women go ga-ga over. I’m not sure who the original author of this article is but apparently she is one of few who is that pressed over this dude. I wish him and his new wife (to whose name I cannot begin to pronouce) have a wonderful life together. A happy marriage between two loving people is something to celebrate, not weep over.

  • Apple Pie

    Why would he bring his woman out when he is clearly aware of the potential backlash he might face, especially when promoting an all-black movie??? Get real. Also, every woman isn’t bent on being in the spotlight. Her humble nature is probably why he married her in the first place. Something many of “your kind” know nothing about. Don’t be upset because no man has ever asked you out to a red carpet event. Your comment, among others, is the reason many think black women are insecure jokes. Leave your jealousy at the door for once.

  • Okay

    Really though? When Black men found out that Sanaa Lathan and Halle Berry were with white men I dont remember them singing a happy tune.

  • zelda

    YOU can carry black men if you want, but don’t come crying on here when they drop you for another race of woman, which they do a lot. when will you women learn?

  • WhatIThink

    The real issue at the bottom line is that the only way to make black folks is for two black folks to lay down together. Sure race mixing has always been around, but the idea that 60 years after Jim Crow we should feel that race mixing is somehow a sign of our progress is misguided and backwards. Progress is progress and right now most black folks aren’t progressing one bit and those folks running around saying either that black women should marry non black men or that black men should marry non black women are full of crap. Of course there are many forms of dysfunction in the black community and around the world and the only way to fix it is to face it dead on. And I am sure that many black folks dating/marrying non blacks are doing so precisely because they feel that they are getting something superior than what they could get otherwise. And this has been true even back during the darkest days of slavery where even former slaves would prefer non black mates. I mean to think that folks don’t remember the history of creoles and mulattoes being made the elite of black society not that long ago is horrendous……

  • mr.vicious

    Problems need to be handled, nobody wants to handle a problem. I will never say I need to handle a brazilain cruise, or handle this pay raise.

  • mr.vicious

    Please tell us what is your education level and area of concentration.

  • mr.vicious

    If M.E. is your enemy, shouldn’t you be happy that he is with a non-bw. Shouldnt you be happy that your interactions with bm exclude dating.
    It was implied that he kept his relationship out of the public eye, which is a good thing. He’s not doing a talk show circuit talking about how he had to get a non-bw.

    -NOTE-
    This is why BM come there, this type of group think is supported and is encouraged on the site more often than not. How is a man getting married make him an enemy of the state of BW.

  • Joy

    So fine Michael Ealy is now off the market. At least he’s willing to marry someone. Which a lot of black men aren’t willing to do (get married period….. that is). I’m glad for him, and his beautiful wife. Love is hard to come by in any form. Bottomline ladies is that realistically speaking even if Ealy was still on the market….the chances of him hooking up with one of us would have been slim to none. Most women don’t travel in his circles.

  • Joy

    victoria: Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder. All of us see beauty thru different eyes.

  • Joy

    Mlkela: So how many celebs do you see with their spouse, or significant other when they are out promoting a new movie, TV show, or dropping of a CD? Very few if any. So Michael not being seen with his then fiance was nothing unusual

  • Joy

    Mimi: And your point is?? Most people in the world are just average looking. Everyone is not beautiful, or handsome.

  • Joy

    shawty: Your comment is similar to some women saying “He feels threatened by a strong black women.” Someone actually recently said this to me about a man that (obviously isn’t really interested in them). To which I responded…”So exactly what in the hell is there about you that he’s threatened by.” You should have seen the dumb look on her face. So often women mistake none interest (in you) as being threatened by you

  • http://gravatar.com/mimiandy1683 MimiLuvs

    @Joy:
    My point is the majority of the women on here (the ones who are pitching a fit) are upset because this is a man that they are attracted to.
    Calm down.

  • http://gravatar.com/mimiandy1683 MimiLuvs

    @AM
    IMO, he is an attractive man, which is why I forced myself to watch “This Means War”.
    I know a lot of women-friends do not think that he is attractive, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

  • Well..

    What the phuck are you doing commenting on black women? To quote your trolling ass, regular black women be so mean to you and black men love you.

    Your shtick is over, be gone, you are the most pathetic link.

  • Penny

    I’m sure I will receive a low rating, but here it goes…

    Congratulations to him! I don’t feel bothered at all about whatever race she is…for all we know, she could be black or part black. (I say this because I am black and I have relatives who look a lot like her.) She doesn’t look white to me. And even if she is not black, so what? She was his long time girlfriend. Obviously, he’s into her. They look great together. (One irony is that whatever her race, there doesn’t seem to be that much of a difference in their complexions. She probably tans darker than he does. LOL.) People act as if he married Taylor Swift. As far as I know, he’s not one of those trifling, baby-making guys who can’t seem to commit. He’s married to the person he was in a relationship with for a long time. Shouldn’t we be happy about that? He didn’t just marry her after knowing her for a short period of time..*cough*…Coby Bryant…*cough* Call me crazy, but I find the fact that he can commit very admirable. I wish them the best.

    Also, I happen to personally know a lot of very successful black men (my husband being one of them) and all of them are married to black women. When I see a black actor or athlete in a photo with a wife who does not appear to be black, I don’t look at it as representative of what I usually see with successful black men. Black actors and black athletes are a small subset of a much larger pool of successful black men. They get more press, more attention and suddenly, people assume that they are a reflection of what’s happening with black men overall.

    I get tired of the argument that black men date/marry out of their race once they become successful. I get tired of it because I see just as many not-so-successful black men doing it as I do successful black men…and it’s not happening to the point that it’s drastically affecting prospects for black women. We have bigger, more serious issues affecting our prospects. Successful or not, some black men are going to date outside of their race and there is nothing that any black women can do about it. Too many of us sit around responding to what some black men decide to do (as if it is some sort of attack on us) instead of focusing on what we can actually control. We analyze every little detail of why some black men we have never met might have dated or married outside of his race and for what? We pick apart the physical characteristics of the woman that this black man LOVES. What does that say about us?

  • Joy

    Tara: Howw did Ealy play black women?!? So do you really think that even if Ealy didn’t marry this beautiful woman that you, or the average black woman had a chance of meeting, and marrying Ealy? I seriously doubt it. When’s the last time Ealy, or any other celeb has been in your company (on a regular basis)?

  • NAME WITHHELD

    No diss, but I think it’s “THEIR” eyes not THERE eyes…and TOO bad not TO bad…with a black WOMAN not with a black WOMEN

  • Joy

    SMH: So when did it become your official job to try and out people? How rude. When/If someone wants to come out….they will

  • NAME WITHHELD

    Lauren London does. They have a baby together.

  • Blu

    Wow y’all are acting scorned as if he personally cheated on you with your best friend. With all the great black men and MEN in general that are out there in YOUR neighborhoods and communities, why cry and lose sleep over some dude you don’t even know (w/ a miniscule chance of dating), who he’s fucking and God forbid -gasp- if she’s NOT black? I mean consuming your rage around non issues… It’s really kind of pathetic….

  • Blu

    Some of y’all are acting scorned as if he personally cheated on you with your best friend. With all the great black men and MEN in general that are out there in YOUR neighborhoods and communities, why cry and lose sleep over some dude you don’t even know (w/ a miniscule chance of dating), who he’s fucking and God forbid -gasp- if she’s NOT black? I mean consuming your rage around non issues… It’s really kind of pathetic….

  • Tim

    @The Other Jess

    This is the same retard who said black men hate their daughters. Her views sound exactly like that black male hating Toppin. Obviously, she’s single. I wish she could actually date some non black men to see that her issues with men aren’t limited to his race.

    The women complaing are the same women who were complaing a few years ago about black men dating light skin black women.

  • PAT

    @Tara

    *The Black woman’s heartthrob?* *He played Black women*?….Hmmm! Not all of us!

    But, I wonder why kanye West or Mr .Ealy, etc etc, will not have to explain or justify his choices, like Eve?

    LOL!

  • Tara

    That is exactly true. It is actually cool to be a black guy w. ith a non-black woman and hate black women. That is the new normal. What a lot of women dont realize is that the interracial marriage rate for black men is increasing fast. It will be less than 5 years when we see about 30% of NEWLY married black men married out during one whole year. Black women who still believe in black men will be devasted. It is coming soon…

  • Tara

    I wouldnt be suprised if down the line Tyler Perry married a white woman..

  • Tara

    I actually met Michael Ealy. He was nice. A lot of these men marry white or other women who dont have nearly as much education as some of us do. They get very average non black women most of the time but that is it for me…this conversation.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    true, I still haven’t recovered from that news.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    First off, Sam Jackson has been married to this woman since 1980:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LaTanya_Richardson

    You act like the most desirable actresses are marrying black men. With non-famous people interracial marriages might be more common with black men, but that is clearly not the case with Hollywood. I can literally name two black actresses with white husbands/bfs for every black actor with a white woman that you can name.

    Even still, it’s not the majority. Pretending like the majority of black people at any level of success are with white mates is divorced from reality. Pretending like white men prize black women more than black men do, given they marry black women less frequently than any other race of woman, is white supremacy.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    I agree. Thought she was highly ordinary. But maybe it’s race inflation. Some black folks swear up and down that the most average white people are drop dead gorgeous.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    Tina,

    I’m a black man and I’m also a huge Stacy Dash hater. That whole Romney thing and her penchant for white men has caused me to stop overlooking her complete and utter lack of talent. I know many other black men that were also hating. If you google Stacy Dash + white men, then you will see a ton of less than pleasant comments referencing Stacy Dash and her white husbands.

    But at least I’m equal opportunity. I’m hating on Ealy, Tiger Woods, and Taye Diggs just like Halle, Stacy, and Paula. It seems that some people that hate, only do so in one direction. Some of the same black men that had many comments concerning Eve or Stacy, had nothing to say about Michael Ealy. Similarly, some of the same women that were voicing all types of support for Eve are the same women that feel saddened by Ealy’s white wife. Be consistent people. If you are down for black love and keeping it in the community, then be like that for everyone. If you are down with the swirl, then let everyone get their swirl on.

  • PJ

    I am not conquered. I love being a black woman. Please speak for yourself!

  • PJ

    I don’t get the whole “black women wept” thing around this guy? Have you seen michael ealy off screen in interviews? He is not very “attractive,” as far as his mannerisms etc. IMHO and this might not be politically correct to say but I am not surprised he would be with a white/ non black woman. He never struck me as the type to be with a sista. As long as he doesn’t go all Terrance Howard / Taye Diggs on black women I don’t have a problem with him. I wish them the best in their marriage.

  • http://gravatar.com/eynapanirb B.Payne

    Add me to the list….he was always weird-looking to me.

  • Chillyroad

    @pj

    What would that type be? Also as black women we need to officially get together and create a manifesto for black men on how to swirl. Micheal Elay hasn’t said anything negative about anyone. He just went about his business quietly and married a woman he was with for four years. Still people are still giving him the Emmet Till treatment. How can a black man go about loving and marrying the woman he wants without incurring the ire of black women?

  • Milela123

    Thats my point. Like I said, EVERYTHING’S strategic. He is no different.

  • Anansa

    I’ve been on 4 different Black blogs and this article keeps getting the most hits. I could see if he was married to a Black woman because that would have been shocking.

  • http://gravatar.com/missinformation7 Ms. Information

    @ Tara…woman?

  • jira

    Thing about Michael is he lied, he got you guys money, pretended to be single, at whose advice i don’t know, pretended to care about being into certain things then revealed himself outside of his shadows after the money came in. In my view point he is not the honest man with the honest image he portrayed.

  • thinkpink

    In many cases (whether people like to admit it or not) interracial dating is a by product of living in a society that has told blacks at every turn they are inferior and other races are to be prized. Race loyalty isn’t about “loyalty” as much as it is about seeing the beauty in the race your born from and not believing the message that the people derived from your race are inferior and not to be prized or wanted. America is not a “post racial” society. It tells all minorities that emulating or obtaining standards of whiteness is the goal. If you would like examples I’d be glad to provide them. Hope that helps clear things up dave.

  • The Other Jess

    wow really? so that’s how you see Black women? As fat and nappyheaded? what an idiot you are. Hopefully you did not get with a Black woman – she doesn ‘t deserve a low self esteem self-hater, like you.

  • Overseas_Honeybee

    Love me some Ealy … beautiful eyes and seems to be a humble down to Earth brotha. Screamed at the computer when I read the news and yeah I wept a bit too but then …*wait for it* I got over it and wished him and the Mrs. true happiness. It’s a blessing to find real love… no matter “where” it comes from. Never met the man but I like his work. Much respect for him keeping his private life private. Everyone’s entitled to that.

  • PJ

    I take back what I wrote about him not being attractive because of his mannerisms, that was not nice! The rest is an honest opinion though.

  • http://gravatar.com/pinklipstick227 pinklipstick227

    I agree. I don’t get all the hype about Idris Elba. I’ll take Lance Gross over him any day. Lance Gross is the epitome of chocolate perfection.

    I’m not going to lie. Micheal Ealy does it for me when he is in shape. Otherwise, he just looks like a sloppy dude with no neck.

  • AM

    @ Tara.

    TP ain’t checking for no sistER or sistAH.

  • MIkela123

    What is so beautiful about eyes like that? Arrgh, light eyes like are kind of creepy to me – like cat eyes. Damn, give me a man with some deep dark penetrating eyes any day, light skin or dark.

  • S.

    IA with Tara, Not Surprised and Guest1234

    Other women act the same way when they find out that the same race man of their dreams dates/marries out

    Look at how upset White women were to find out that Michael Fassabender dates women of color more so than White women (if at all)

    I’m too young to know but Im sure there were plenty of *secretly* salty White women when they found out that that list of White men Tallulah Belle posted. Either that or they were popular enough to cause strife

    It’s a natural reaction. Black women, you are not aliens from another universe.

    However, it is a rather old and dusty reaction now. Like others, I would have been more surprised had she been Black

  • Chillyroad

    This isn’t a good look for black women at all.

  • Anthony

    The Other Jess, apparently you missed my point. I said I have a weight problem and that I was unhappy with myself. I avoided women that were heavy and dark because they reminded me of what I did not like about myself. I never said that I thought all black women were fat and happy headed.

    My point was that as my self esteem improved, I got over my own hang ups, which was great for me because I met many nice women and avoided getting hurt by clinging to women based solely on their being slim or shapely, or light.

  • Anthony

    I agree with you to a point. Frankly, I think who people marry or date is their business only, but if a person is going to insist on black marriage only, then it should be that standard for men and women.

  • Chillyroad

    I never said white women were more attractive. As you can see a man who wants Gabby Union, Beyonce, Nia Long, Naomi Campbell etc. need to be high status men. These women are at the top of the beauty spectrum and their respective men need to be at the top of the economic spectrum. This is a truth most men and women can handle.

  • Penny

    Funny…I have never heard anyone describe him as unattractive until now. LOL. He’s definitely attractive. He gets attractive black man roles: he’s attractive. He may not be physically ideal to many black women, but he definitely has physical attributes that are considered attractive by a significant proportion of the masses. I just scrolled up to look at the picture of the two of them again to see if anything disturbing jumped out at me. Nope, they’re still an attractive couple. I would even go so far as to say that they are one of the best looking Hollywood couples I’ve seen in a long time. I really don’t get the criticism. It’s not as if Michael Ealy has ever said anything negative about black women or that he never dated black women. He didn’t fall in love and marry a woman as an attack or some sort of statement against black women. LOL.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    I agree with you completely on that. It is their business and no one else’s. But it’s my business who and what I’m hating on. As long as I’m not impacting them directly, then I should be free to be a hater.

  • Dave

    You have basically just called any attraction to a race other than black racism. Bold claim. Your argument also fails to address that attraction is a two way street and doesn’t acknowledge that men and women of all races are attracted to black. Also, your argument automatically assumes that a white-black paradigm is the only model in which an interracial relationship can take place…which ignores black men with Asian (whether they be chinese, korean, or indian) and Hispanic women and vice-versa. Finally, you ignore the fact that black men and women can be mutually attracted to each other as well as members of other races. in a topic as vast as interracial dating, it is extremely narrow and flawed. Yes, there are many black men who dismiss black women completely and strongly favor white women…which is pitiful, but no more pitiful than the highly prejudicial and dismissive attitudes many black women also display with regards to interracial dating. I don’t accept this argument from racist white conservatives, nor will I accept them from black women who are frustrated with their dating history.

  • Tara

    Of course white women care. If you dont think that white women care when white men date black women, you are sadly mistaken.

  • p

    And Nicholas Anelka married…a white woman@KK

  • simplyme

    A single tear may or may not have just rolled down my face….lol

    The race of his wife is completely irrelevant btw. And for every Michael Ealy there are several Jesse Williams (Greys Anatomy hottie)…I shed at least 2 tears at the announcement of his marriage to his Black wife. Faux celebrity crush tears of course…. There are way too many men on this huge planet for this stuff to seriously matter to people. If you honestly think Black women are being abandoned, buy a plane to ticket Germany, attempt to sit at a bar by yourself for 5 seconds without being approached…and the race of Ealy’s wife will matter a little less to you.

  • Okay

    And you’ve accomplished what by coming here? Changed minds? Improved the relationship between BM/BW?

  • Pseudonym

    @NameWithheld: I’m pretty sure that was the X.

  • Pseudonym

    Ummm…well, as average as you think she is, you know she could have an awesome personality, be sweet, faithful, supportive, etc. no need to tear her apart. I actually find it nice when attractive men marry average looking women (like the fiiiiiine man from “Grey’s Anatomy.”).

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  • Anthony

    Yes, you are right. At the heart of these posts is the idea that one is wanted desirable. People like to feel they are desirable even if they are not interested in a given person or seeking a relationship.

  • Anthony

    I did not say you said white women are more attractive, I said I was not a person who sees white women as inherently more attractive.

    Beauty alone does not make a woman most highly desired. All of the the sisters you mentioned have great careers along with their looks. Non-black women of the highest “grade” also have things to offer besides their looks.

  • Anthony

    THe above comment was a reply to a Chillyroad post.

  • I see

    Most black men today want are dating non black women. Just go into the suburbs on a nice summer day and see.

  • http://yahoo.com Banta

    Wow how old are you? When did status become the only meaning in relation to aids? I suppose if a fine man asked you your status you might reply I don’t have aids. Chanela17 I’m so sorry your world is so small.

  • I see

    Opps…..was rushing out, when i wrote that comment.

    But i want to say most blackmen today want anything…but…..a black woman. It’s on display especially if you live in the suburb. If you walk into a grocery store and you see a nice decent brother chances are if he’s with a woman she is not black.

  • http://yahoo.com Banta

    You don’t owe the Other Jess an explanation. Your post said it all. It was just her opinion not anyone elses. Many people need to get over their self esteem issues. As I read the many comments I’m confused by what was written in the article and the thoughts of those who have replied. Can’t we all just read each other’s comments and move on. Naturally one does not agree with every comment but is it necessary to be offended by an honest comment. I don’t think any of the comments speak for me as a person – I do think that if an actor or politician decides to be in the public eye than any privacy they may want to have the media will not allow them to keep. However if you are an actor or politician and you tell me (the public) that your privacy is important to you…remain on that course. If you in the public eye didn’t want to mention that you’ve been dating for 4 years (I don’t care what nationality) then why mention that you are now married? Why did your marrying stop your need for privacy?

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    Most black men clearly are with and want black women. Just because you may see otherwise in certain areas doesn’t change this fact. I see plenty of black women with whiteboys all the time. Doesn’t mean that most black women are doing the same. You can’t go off of anecdotal evidence to say what most people are doing.

  • I see

    Most times if you see five interricial couple four ate black men and other non blackwomen. Ofcourse i see bw with non bm,but not at the same rate.

  • I see

    What gets me about some of these men is the hypocrisy. If its a nice summer day and families are out with their kids enjoying the day,most time you see his non blk wife/girlfriend where is he? Right there with them. Pushing stroller, helping with the kids,or grocery bags whatever it is he’s there being helpful with his family…..like a good father and husband should.

    But blk women don’t want,or deserve the same treatment. Nope….reserve for non bw only. Smh

  • Hmmmmm

    Ravi’s job seems to be to quiet down the bw masses w/ “hush now, what you’re seeing is only an illusion” I’m onto you, bro.

  • http://yahoo.com Banta

    You could always tell he was a private person…okay. But on the issue of being in a relationship or single he blatantly lied to the public instead of expressing the desire to keep that part of his life private. He sold an image, just makes me wonder how much of his persona is fake as well. I can’t relate to a liar. Can’t respect one either. If it was really about privacy we still would not know. It wasn’t about privacy. Janet Jackson did it for over a decade and he couldn’t hold out more than two months…yeah right I see just how much his privacy means to him

  • EST. 1986

    Isn’t he biracial (Black and White)?

  • I see

    No illusion…lol

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    That depends on where you are. I’ve gone places and seen more BW/WM couples and other places I’ve seen it the way you describe. That’s not my point. I’m not saying there aren’t more black men with white women than black women with white men. I’m saying that it’s not most of either one of us. It is the minority of black men and women. Logically, it would be impossible for the majority of black men to not be with black women unless the same was true of black women. For every black woman with a black man, clearly there is a black man that is with that black woman.

    @Hmmmmm, it’s my job to engage in intellectually honest dialogue. I’m not quieting down anyone. Quite to the contrary, I encourage dialogue. When you try to attack my views through personal attacks as opposed to any sort of attempt to refute my arguments, then you are the one trying to quiet someone down.

    Not about illusions, it’s about what you are seeing isn’t representative of everything that is out there. Generalizing most black men based off of your highly limited observations is about as valid as someone concluding that most black women are unintelligent based off of encountering a few such women on the internet. The vast majority of black men and women are with each other. If your experiences tell you otherwise, then I suggest you get out more.

  • NAME WITHHELD

    @Pseudonym
    You’re probably right. Lauren is an ex. The guy seems to have a couple of baby mamas, and most of them very beautiful women.

  • KK

    @P
    I know Nicholas married a white woman, I have no problems with that or with Micheal Ealy and I know Andre is probably going to end up with a non-black woman as well.

    I just listed the men I find attractive.

  • Lady

    And not even 1 f**k was given by this chick- do you Ealy.

  • http://gravatar.com/thereluctantsocialite thereluctantsocialite

    I really don’t get where this myth came from that black men aren’t dating/marrying black women.

    I grew up in a predominately white town, and we black girls didn’t get a lot of shine at all. However, most of the black men that I went to school with that exclusively dated white women grew up to start exclusively dating and marrying black women. In fact, it seems like the majority of black men that I grew up with that went on to marry white women were less than “eligible” in my humble opinion.

    I live in Houston now, and to be honest… it’s rare that I see interracial relationships. Or maybe I do see them… but I don’t really notice them because its MUCH more common to see couples where both the man and woman are black.

    I realize it may not be this way everywhere, but it doesn’t seem to be as much of an “epidemic” as some posters on this site seem to want to make it out to be…

  • http://gravatar.com/thereluctantsocialite thereluctantsocialite

    “Also, I happen to personally know a lot of very successful black men (my husband being one of them) and all of them are married to black women. When I see a black actor or athlete in a photo with a wife who does not appear to be black, I don’t look at it as representative of what I usually see with successful black men. Black actors and black athletes are a small subset of a much larger pool of successful black men. They get more press, more attention and suddenly, people assume that they are a reflection of what’s happening with black men overall.”

    I soooo agree with this. People need to stop letting the media get them all bent out of shape. There’s no real epidemic here.

    Love your entire comment by the way! :)

  • tina

    I’m happy for them and they look cute together. It’s not about about resources going out of the black community because if they have children, the kids will still be black just very cute. It’s a win-win.

  • thinkpink

    I would be glad to address your other points in a different forum. My comment was brief because it only sought to address your claim that race loyalty was a hold over from slavery. The other points you mentioned were not avoided they simply weren’t addressed as I was responding to one part of your post. I would suggest you do research to answer the questions you asked of me below. There are numerous scholarly sources to refer to and they will serve you better than attempting to do a faux analytical response in the comment section of an online website.

  • Bump Mediocrity

    Micheal Ealy will now need to do some damage control otherwise he will get the Taye Diggs treatment. I don’t care what anybody say…his wife may be a good person and all but he’s ultra wack to me now.

    You damn right black women will look at you with a side eye. It is what it is and oh fucking well. The shit is straight up wack, unsexy and makes him look like the traitor he is. If your life is your life and your choices your choices then get the hell out of the spotlight. Otherwise welcome to the real world of celebrity. History is history and taking your paycheck that you earn with our dollars and our attention to support another queen outside the black kingdom is a no no.

    White women and brother’s marrying otherness is a sore spot for a reason. There’s a racialized history that cannot be denied. As women we all know who is propped up as being most worthy and most desirable and it’s not us!!!! You add in colorism and racial ambiguity and you really have a complex set of divide and conquer factors that rightfully set black women off. If Micheal Ealy didn’t know this he wouldn’t have been “hiding” her all these years…

    I don’t care how many sisters are shamed for feeling the way they do. Call a spade a spade and Micheal “Bitch eyes” Ealy will forever be given the side eye by me. I’m married to a beautiful black man and I still feel some kind of way about handsome successful brothers crossing over; yet building their careers on our support. It’s a slap in the face…

    If you’re a black actor who makes black movies and has black love interest on the scream then why isn’t a black woman good enough for you to marry in real life? I’m saying tho?

    And don’t even get me started cause I saw Roots for the first time this past weekend.

  • I see

    Amen! We all know he was not going to marry any of us commenting on this page…..duh…..and though alot of us are not surprise,you still feel some type a way that the woman beside him is not a sis.

    Yes, who he loves and marry is porogative,but for those bw who would like a decent marriage minded brotha to call her husband one day them not seeing us as good enough for them is a cause for concern,or lets call a spade a spade it is a problem.

    And if it’s not a problem go over to Essence and read that letter posted by a bm listing the reasons he had to marry a bw. Now alot of bw see that as him celebrating us,but i don’t look at it that way. The fact that he had to even write that speaks volume. Why, you say, b/c it should be a given.

  • http://facebook KAC

    Doesnt surprise me NOT one bit!

  • Tiff

    I love Indians! lol

  • Ignorant

    Hush dummy

  • Beautiful Mic

    What damage control does he need when he’s getting that Arab money, now?

  • Mbdu

    You are all racist, ignorant and bigoted. This kind of entitlement is precisely why black men don’t want you. They don’t “belong” to you. This rhetoric is completely antiquated, divisive and makes you look pathetically desperate.

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