bey-blue

Several women have suffered from the grief and trauma of having a miscarriage, but it’s rarely discussed in the public arena. That’s why folks are applauding Beyoncé for sharing the story of her own miscarriage and how it impacted her in her upcoming HBO documentary, “Life Is But A Dream.”

The superstar discusses her miscarriage as well as rumors that she faked her pregnancy and used a surrogate. Via USA Today, who received an advance copy of the documentary:

She shares footage of her trip to Paris with her nephew. She talks about wanting to “make love” to her husband. She explains why she decided to share her pregnancy news so visibly at the MTV awards.

Most notably: She opens up about her miscarriage two years ago, saying that one week she heard a heartbeat – and the next, nothing. And she talks about how devastating the loss was to her and how she retreated to the studio to deal with it.

Most movingly, she addresses stories that she used a surrogate to carry daughter Blue Ivy, now 1.”

While we couldn’t get enough of the Beyoncé conspiracy theories surrounding the baby bump, she was ultimately hurt:

“There’s a stupid rumor. The most ridiculous rumor I think I’ve ever had about me. It’s crazy. To think I would be that vain – I respect mothers and women so much and to be able to experience bringing a child into this world, if you’re lucky and fortunate enough to experience that, I would never, ever take that for granted. It’s the most powerful thing you can do. Especially after losing a child, the pain and trauma from that just makes it mean so much more to get an opportunity to bring life into the world. It seems like people should have boundaries,” says a visibly shaken Beyoncé.

Whether you agree that Beyoncé should have addressed surrogacy rumors or not, there’s something very brave about her speaking publicly about a miscarriage. Some women feel shame when they struggle with fertility issues or suffer a miscarriage but the singer’s admission may help them realize they’re not alone and ultimately find healing.

What are your thoughts on Beyoncé’s comments on her miscarriage and surrogate rumors, Clutchettes and Gents?

  • Prissy1

    I think more women, especially black women should speak out. I think we have been programmed form early on to not speak about traumatic things such as this rape, incest, etc. It’s really sad because you just don’t know how one person’s story can give you hope and healing. I recently lost a child and although it hurts to talk about it, I need to. I need to know that I’m not the only one with the feelings I have. I need to know that even through this tragedy, there is hope. There is NOTHING to be ashamed of. Sometimes our bodies don’t do what our hearts want them too.

  • myblackfriendsays

    If you read it closely, that quote doesn’t actually deny the rumor. It just says she wouldn’t have used a surrogate for vanity reasons.

  • I got sense!

    She’s wasting her time even addressing it. People always have and always will believe what they want to believe regardless of what the truth is. Personally, I see nothing wrong with surrogates, adoptions, natural birthing and any other legal method to bring a beautiful in life into the world. Whatever method she chose is fine with me.

  • apple

    who gives a sh*t if she used a surrogate..? if she did thats cool, if she didn’t thats cool too.. she doesn’t really have to tell anyone anything because miscarriages/birth/surrogates/ivf to me is very personal and a sensitive/delicate subject

  • Misshightower

    “Ain’t nobody’s business what dey do……”

  • Sasha

    While I don’t care for this woman too much or any other celebrity in general, I find it particularly annoying when they say things along the lines of “people should have boundaries”. Yes they are humans too BUT their bread and butter is made off of the public liking them enough to buy their product or buy into their brand. When you are a celebrity you put your life out there because that’s what you’re paid to do. If you want privacy, become a nun or one of us 8-5ers. I think its especially insidiious of her to say this now that she’s been exposing every detail of her life, especially for the past 2 years.

    On the subject of miscarriage, I’ve never personally experienced it but two of my girlfriends under the age of 25 and healthy by all accounts just suffered this and it broke my heart for them to hear and see the pain they were feeling. I think there should be more open dialogue about miscarriage and more than that I don’t understand why its taboo to talk about in the first place.

  • http://gravatar.com/hsm36 Whatever

    Some experiences should be dealt with privately. This is not your typical situation, she isn’t confiding in friends, therapists, support groups etc. She is sharing this information with the entire world. I just can’t stand when celebrities (especially the ones that are usually private) pimp their most personal stories just before a new album hits. When fans say they can’t relate to you, it’s your lack of personality and character…. not your lack of personal stories that should be shared between you, your husband, your closest friends and family.

  • AM

    I just want to know why Beyonce’s team decided that opening up about herself, NOW, would be the best move going forward with her career. I absolutely LOVED the fact that she was so keen on being private. The cloud of mystery if you will, served her career well. It is very OBVIOUS she has something in the works, and all this overshare is publicity. Downvoters, get to work! :)

  • Livingstone

    What is done is her business.

  • q

    omg…let it go. Now you are playing semantics.

  • q

    I strongly disagree with you here. Celebrities, like anyone else are human and have a right to share personal information such as this. You don’t have to read their articles or watch their interviews if you choose. The public tends to dehumanize celebrities, and this has become particularly pronounced in the Internet era. As a woman, I welcome the fact that she shared this issue. As a community, we are much too silent about it.

  • http://www.curlycrazy.com CurlyCrazy

    I don’t think she owed it to anyone to speak about either of these topics, but I think it’s great that she did. If one of the most wealthy, sucessful, and beautiful (by some people’s standards) women in the game right now can have fertility issues, then I must imagine that could be comforting to someone else who is having that same problem. Women dealing with fertility issues can often feel isolated because of the strong taboo. So it’s great that someone so visible is breaking it.

    As for the surrogacy… why are people so up in arms about it? If she did, then who are we to judge, and why is it any of our business? Maybe she had a surrogate because of her fertility problems. She doesn’t owe an explanation to anyone. Get out of her damn uterus!

    I’m not a Beyonce fan, but I think a lot of people are overly critical of her. Everything she does is scrutinized more than just about any other celebrity. People LOVE to hate her and I just can’t figure it out.

  • amarie

    Personally I don’t care too much about the whole Beyonce pregnancy drama, but I don’t think most people have a problem with her using a surrogate if that’s what she chose to do. There have been other celebrities that have as well. I think people are upset because they feel she faked the pregnancy and lied to her fans.

  • MMK

    No woman should be FORCED to deal with her miscarriage or any kind of loss of a child in public. You admit to never having experienced a loss like a miscarriage. I have. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had miscarried, then was blessed with another pregnancy and throughout this pregnancy people accused me of using belly props and using a surrogate. That’s stress EVEN if it were true. She owes no explanations to anyone. I thought it was extremely sad that people were saying she used a surrogate and props and would be so brash about it as if they too weren’t human. If she did, it’s her business not ours. Fertility is a private issue. Celebrity or not it’s private. No matter where someone’s income is coming from this is private.

    Would you want your job to force you to disclose your miscarriages and or personal losses to them JUST because they pay you a check? Come on. Let’s be reasonable here. That’s what I think Beyonce is saying. Be reasonable and be human. You don’t have to like her or even support her music, movies, or career to be a reasonable human being.

  • MMK

    While I agree with you everyone should be willing to talk about these things, but only when that person is ready. No one should be forced to relive their pain and anguish in the public or for the public. Everyone deals with their pain, grief, and loss differently and to say the things that were said about this woman while she was pregnant. Not even the strongest among us could’ve withstood it. I know it had to hurt. It hurt me just to read it.

    There are tons of support groups for women like us, Prissy and while I too like knowing others understand me and the pain I endured, how it never truly goes away. I don’t believe that anyone should be forced to tell all their business or even address things like fertility because they’re a public figure. Some things are just no one’s business but our own.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    Firstly, whether she used a surrogate or not, Blue Ivy is here and she is her mother at the end of the day. Secondly, the only reason people gave her the side eye with her pregnancy was when she had that interview and it looked as if her belly folded/concaved before that people didn’t question her pregnancy so it wasn’t as if the rumors came from nowhere. Finally, what is so vain about using a surrogate or other means but the “natural” way to have a child? Some women can’t carry their kid(s) to full term or pregnancy would take a beating on their body or some women genuinely don’t like to be pregnant. You can respect motherhood/mothers regardless of how women obtained their kids in this world so I don’t understand the logic here. But I do think it is good that women start to talk about fertility issues because often times there is still this stigma/judgment attached that as a woman if you can produce/have children than you feel “less of a woman” or feel like you are missing this big chunk of womanhood that other women experience but you.

  • adiatc

    @ sasha- Actually, celebrities are paid to share their talents, not their lives. There used to be a time when singers, actors, etc. lives were private outside of what they did for a profession. But since the internet, social media,etc., that’s no longer the case. In part because ‘fans’ want to know what they are doing because they can’t manage their own lives.

  • Trisha

    This was a personal manner between her and her husband. Beyonce didn’t have to say anything about what goes on within their household. I think I would have allowed those rumors to continue within this particular situation. Besides that, people talk too much and about different situations in which they are unaware about. If they don’t know, some tend to make up their version of the truth. Some things are just truly meant to remain within your inner circle. Her fans or anybody should understand that.

  • Sasha

    I agree with you there.

  • k

    She’s been exposing every detail of her life? Beyonce??lol

    Beyonce is more private than most “regular” people

  • ZH

    I second your entire comment! Personally if I had the means and my spouse agreed I would use a sarogate.

  • http://www.blackisonline.com KC Lehman

    I’m so glad she spoke out about it. I’ve never suffered a miscarriage, but have many family members/friends who have. No matter what the situation, they were all devastated. Further, there is a conversation to be had about infertility in women in general. I felt lucky to get pregnant quickly as I was surrounded by loved ones who struggled and dealt with fertility drugs, homeopathic alternatives, etc. Having a figure as public as Beyonce express what she went through will hopefully start some much needed conversations about these topics.

  • http://twitter.com/msorvam myrna orvam (@msorvam)

    Right?! so her saying it was a “Stupid rumor” is not denial enough, huh? Reading is soo fundamental.

  • MMK

    She’s not saying it’s vain to use a surrogate. She’s saying she wouldn’t be so vain to wear a prop. At least that’s what I gleaned from her comment.

  • http://gravatar.com/hsm36 Whatever

    Silent about what? Miscarriages? Why should any woman have to disclose that information? My sister had a very tough time conceiving her daughter and had 3 miscarriages before finally carrying her child full term and she ONLY told her husband, my mother, myself and her closest friends. Miscarriages are not public issues that need to addressed. It is actually a very personal matter. Everything isn’t an issue that needs to be spoken out about. Miscarriages aren’t taboo, they are hurtful, painful and devastating for any woman, which is why most don’t tell the world about it.

    My major side eye towards B is that she’s discussing this very private information as part of her promo for her new project. That’s the problem with celebrities… anything for album sales. No wedding pictures, no images of her child’s face, no info about her personal life (all which I respect her for NOT doing)… then BOOM, let me open up to my fans about that time I lost my baby. What?

  • http://gravatar.com/hsm36 Whatever

    Agreed.

  • http://gravatar.com/hsm36 Whatever

    “If one of the most wealthy, successful, and beautiful (by some people’s standards) women in the game right now can have fertility issues, then I must imagine that could be comforting to someone else who is having that same problem. ”

    It comforts people to know that someone wealthy, successful and beautiful has the same problem as them? Are these people in Junior High School? How elementary is this mentality? “Oh, Beyonce has the same problem, I feel much better about myself now”

    I swear, as a society we are moving backwards and one major factor is this weird obsession with celebrities and their lives.

  • http://gravatar.com/tybaby78 Tyisha

    If she keeps feeling compelled to reveal her personal life to the public they will eat her alive and consume her just like Michael Jackson….this world is evil and she, just like him present this sweet, bubbly, you’ll never have a bad thing to say about me type of persona which is very unreal then be ready to be constantly defending yourself. The music industry is demonic, be careful Beyonce

  • Rue

    Can we stop with the “Beyonce this” and “Beyonce that” and cover some actual issues? Not everything the woman does/says warrants an article. Sheesh. and no, “I ain’t hatin” either. It’s just, damn!! Can we talk about how Israel allegedly forced Ethiopians to undergo sterilization? Please?

  • Child, Please

    I don’t think it’s a matter of having a right to it as much as it comes off for some people as more contrived to do so. She’s not the only one who does it, but I think people are more inclined to find a celeb more genuine if they do it to bring light of an important issue. Plus there’s the whole give and take relationship celebs have with the media/public. One minute they want their privacy and the next minute they want the attention – all on their terms and it just doesn’t go that way sometimes. I do agree with you that we are too silent on this issue (most women are); I cam across a comment that stated African-American women are more likely to have miscarriages. (That stats I found to verify that go back a few years). There are several factors that contribute to it even some you just wouldn’t think of.

  • http://www.myblackfriendsays.com myblackfriendsays

    She could have kept with the whole, “my private life is private” thing, then she wouldn’t be having these issues.

  • Loli

    Cry me a river. Seriously,who are those people who cry about somebody else’s womb?

  • seriously?

    beyonce does talk about her life she just doesnt over-share. So A job of a celebrity is to share their talent not their lives? Okay, Like all celebrities even the most private of privates we know SOMETHING about their life. We know something about Johnny depp, about Angelina Jolie,George Clooney, Brad Pitt- Denzel Washington all very private people -they don’t go into details but we know something of how they live and their home life and of course love life and I’m sure it’s not because they want people to know. I have a great feeling if it was up to them nobody would know anything about what goes behind the doors to their life but they do it because its how you play the game. Knowing something of their personal lives give people/ their fans this sense of knowing, bonding-a reason to like em to go out of their way to support their brand to continue to give them their money. If a person is to boring or refuse to share anything they don’t go far in the entertainment business. So while its not “written” it is a fact that if a celebrity wanna be something they gotta share something and Beyonce? She’s been successfully “sharing” for years -holding off for years sometimes without saying anything while giving knowingly looks to the public that so “desperately” want info confirm. She’s strategically been playing the game right and to say it’s only because of her talent alone is not being completely honest or ignorant to some of the basics of how to brand yourself successfully. Even the classic era of old Hollywood people knew about something of the stars back then too-which is why it was imperative they(old Hollywood celebs) kept dirty laundry quiet because a conservative country would not have allowed anything else. So it may have seem like the world was just caring about talent alone and not about their personal lives but people was digging back then and when the “paps” at that time got ahold of something the public ate it up everytime! Only time has change not people-our technology makes it easier to invade someone life so yes we have gotten even more invasive but I got to say it’s all about supply and demand. Glad a lot of us here don’t really care that much to praise and idolize celebrities but our voice is a minority if it wasn’t the interest for celebs to share anything would drop! magazines wouldn’t sell and the lies from gossip blogs would be ignored so they would have too talk/write about something else that would make money. Nevertheless-at the end of day we still click this article,some even commented-you’re feeding the demand for Beyonce articles and a good lot will even watch her on half time and her documentary.
    I’m certain my comment won’t be like but it’s not any less true.

  • seriously?

    I hate when my post don’t post. Seriously were still having this issue clutch?

  • Jordyn

    I don’t think she meant that using a surrogate is vain. She was probably referring to comments made by people who accused her of not wanting take the chance of “ruining” her body with an actual pregnancy.

  • http://www.curlycrazy.com Curly Crazy

    It may be comforting to know that the person you look up to and admire is going through the same challenges that you are facing. That’s all I was trying to say. It doesn’t make the pain go away, but it can help someone feel like they’re not alone.

  • Penny

    I thought Jay-Z brought up the miscarriage first in a song. I’m guessing she would never have addressed it if he had never put it out there.

  • gmarie

    itseems like the number of miscarriage stories I’ve heard in the past few years are so common it’s kind of scary. I’ve never been pregnant, but it does make me paranoid to think the possibility of making it so far through a pregnancy, growing attached to this living being growing in your body but never getting the chance to meet it. It’s a taboo topic, any woman who can come forward and share her experiences is a brave soul. especially a public figure potentially opening herself up to scruitiny from millions of people who have never met her

  • Dominicanita

    I have to agree. It’s just sad that she lied about it. Don’t fake it until you try and make it.

  • realityplease

    I just think its so sad how celebrities sucessfully pimp fans and followers without them even realising. All it takes is a “candid, open, heart felt” interview for the praise and sympathy to start overflowing and the logic and reason to hit the door.
    Beyonce paraded this pregnancy at the start like the newest media tool at that award ceremony (that image of her ripping off her jacket, throwing it to the floor and rubbing her stomach is still as clear as day in my mind) and lapped up the attention until it literally folded in two that day (I know some people say it was the material but in all my years I’ve never seen that take place in such a way), then all of a sudden it was back to secrecy and stories of miscarriages all around.

    All it would’ve taken for the rumours to subside, was a normal, front view, 6- 7 month pregnant, bare belly, line down the stomach, photo done in the most elegant way (see Nia long and others as reference) its clear she has no problem with showing her body so why not that instead of a whole documentary? Why wait a whole year to address rumours of you pretending to be pregnant, and spice it up with discusions about making love to your husband and miscarriage issues, when a simple SOLID picture could’ve nipped all of that talk in the bud ASAP and all other personal issues could have remained personal and if it’s because the rumours were so ridiculous and she had nothing to prove, why even address the the rumours at all? And what’s with the new obsession with sharing so much with the public?

    I don’t believe she gave birth to her baby, there I said it. Not because I’m a “hater” “mean spirited” or person who “hates seeing black women shine” but because I’m not allowing celebrity status, fame and good publicity to cloud my normal everyday logical reasoning. If she used a surrogate that’s not my business either, as long as the end result is a child its still a blessing, what gets me is the God-like image the media has tried so hard to create for her which fans and everyday people cling to, No celebrity should have to divulge all their personal details to the world but picking and choosing when to do so in order to benefit from it (new album in the works) is low. We’re living in a world where the media controls the way we think and celebrities are idolised and held in such high esteem so that common sense is no longer common. When a celebrity wants things back in order, all they need are some cameras an interviewer, some behind the scenes footage and a touch of emotion, its the oldest trick in the book and works a treat.

    I won’t lie, the lady has this game on lock, but it wouldn’t hurt if people used their God given logic a little more.

    p.s. does comission this site now?

  • MISS_EMCEE

    This post should have 498494 like. In lieu with your statment, I it makes me think of thise quote from unknown “People love living a lie but, hate living in truth”. The celebrity obsession is sickening to me. People know more about Beyonce, LIl Wayne, and Brad Pitt then themselves, family, and friends. These people will spew a verbal war with you online or offline if you say anything negative about these mentally diseased celebrities. I know people who in the industry and if these fans seen behind the scenes………………………..

  • dbsm

    a miscarriage isn’t a “fertility issue” unless a woman has them repeatedly. there are often known reasons for these cases. 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. some women have them and don’t even realize it, maybe even because they weren’t aware that they were pregnant. it isn’t always the horrible situation that is painted. miscarriages occur because something wasn’t right. the body was doing its job in attempting to correct the error. everything isn’t meant to be viable but our society has conditioned us to believe so. also, losing a baby/fetus in the 2nd and 3rd trimester isn’t a “miscarriage.” speak up if you wish, or keep it private. just know that you are not alone.

  • Lisa Guzman

    Oh shut up when I saw her perform with the yellow dress on I said she’s pregnant! How ignorant can people be!

  • Stacy

    Beyonce miscarriage story is a lie ! The only way you should believe her us if you never had never been pregnant or your mind is fogg by the spell she has cast over you. When women suffer miscarriage early in pregnant the baby aborts the body. No one goes for a routine exam early in pregnancy only to be told there is no heart beat. Later in a trimester yes! However she stated she wasn’t that far along! She would have been bleeding which could have resulted in a trip to the Dr office but ” she said she went in for a routine visit” this is how she found out! So you want to know why would a woman lie about something like this ? Well it’s simply bc she can! She can tell you the year is 1942 and her fans would believe her and start saying the yr is 1942. I have to sit back and smh to people for not using common sense!

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