Manology

Normally I don’t read editorial book reviews, but when I saw “Manology” come across my screen, I headed to the holy grail of reviews, Amazon.

Here are just a couple:

  • “It has often been said that it takes a man to raise a man. With MANOLOGY Tyrese and Rev Run are proving another point; it takes men to tell women the truth about men. As a woman, I’m grateful for the insight. What a blessing! —Iyanla Vanzant, New York Times bestselling author and host of OWN’s Fix My Life  (Maybe they should have sat down with Evelyn Lozada)
  • “The age-old discussion of roles and expectations in the new world of relationships has a new blueprint: it’s called MANOLOGY.” —Vin Diesel (Really Vin? Were you paid for this because of the Fast & The Furious?)
  • “Ladies if you want to get to the bottom of what men are really thinking and feeling, than you need to check out MANOLOGY!” —Sanaa Lathan, Tony award nominated actress (Aren’t you single? Did this book work for you?)
  • “This is not an ordinary book. The relationship insight on these MANOLOGY pages can’t be compared to anything out there. It is a true masterpiece.” —La La and Carmelo Anthony (Are these Lala’s words or Carmelo’s?)

With a the title Manology, you’d think this book was a woman’s handguide to men — you know, written by a woman.  But of course it’s not. It’s yet another relationship book written by men for women.

Who are the two men that sat down to write 288 pages of what women should, shouldn’t do, and what to look out for?

Reverend Run.

Tyrese Gibson.

I’ll let that sink in for a few seconds.

An unlikely duo? Seems like it to me.  Reverend Run says that Manology serves as a “man-ual” for women on how not to be manipulated, by those ever so manipulating men, because you know, some women are just that dumb and can’t realize what’s going on (Well, he didn’t exactly put it that way). Tyrese on the other hand says the book’s goal is to “protect” women from making horrible decisions. Because, yet again, ladies are known for the bad decision-making.

Men =  Great decision makers & not easily manipulated — but are the manipulators

Women = Horrible decision makers & easily manipulated.

There you have it. The book summed up in two sentences.

A few of the topics covered in the book include: Can you ever change a man?; How open should you be with your man?; What’s the most productive/healthy way to fight?; Is cheating ever justifiable?

The book does offer different perspectives on these subjects. Take for example, sex. “If the energy and vibe and the chemistry is right … live it up,” Tyrese told USA Today. But Reverend Run thinks the ladies should keep their panties on. “I believe a woman should definitely keep herself in a position of mystery and mystique … if you want keep the dude,” Reverend Run said.

USA TODAY’s Craig Wilson recently interviewed both authors and they offered up some advice to women, because you know, that’s what “relationship experts” do:

Q: So, why should anyone, especially women, listen to you two?

Gibson: ‘Cause we know what we’re talking about. We have good intentions putting this information out there, trying to protect them from making horrible decisions.

Run: People should read the book based on the fact I have a pretty stable marriage. You can watch it on the TV show (Run’s House, which ran on MTV from 2005-09).

Q: What do you think is the biggest mistake women make when it comes to dealing with men?

Gibson: I think we summed it up with that whole thing about control, trying to mold and shape a man. A lot of women are going into the relationship to mold him into what they want him to be.

Run: I would guess a man needs time alone. Women want you to do things with them. A man needs a man cave, and the woman needs to know that.

Q: Should a woman think she can “change” a man?

Gibson: That shouldn’t be your goal. No man wants to feel like a fixer-up project. If a woman has that intention, it should come from love. It shouldn’t be a charity case.

Run: I believe that a woman and a man can work with each other to reach a goal. But to go into it to see someone that needs help, I’m not sure you can change anyone. That’s God’s job.

Clutchettes, are eager to run out and grab this book? Because you know, all women are eager to get advice from men.

 Men of Clutch (I don’t know what to call you … Clutchers?), if you could write a relationship book geared towards women, what would you write?

178 Comments

  1. I think it will be an interesting read, but I think it’s going to fall on deaf ears. Because of all these movies where the “plain” girl makes the “amazing” guy go above and beyond for her (I.S 50 Shades of Grey) a lot of women think that they are something special when they don’t have anything special to offer. I think a lot of women will read it as a warning to their man , but they won’t remember it. It doesn’t take much to figure out a guy! As usual women are over thinking their relationships with men. If it feels right keep going it it feels weird/ wrong, run!

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  2. oh wow. I almost didn’t want to keep reading after that side comment at Sanaa Lathan haha

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  3. Tanycha

    It seems from the comments presented here that most believe the BM are the weaker sex. I’m in a 35 year marriage. I love my BM. He doesn’t require all the nurturing and preconditions suggested by some of these comments. We nurture, support, love and respect each other. He’s present, positive and impactful in our relationship each and every day, as am I. It’s a reciprocal relationship and I couldn’t see it succeeding any other way.

    Truth be told through my humble experiences, a lot of brothers today seem weak or weakend emotionally. Maybe the lack of responsible, male role models, or the many boys raised entirely by women who pamper them and have not prepared them to handle their own. At one time, men were expected to protect and provide for their wife and children. Nowadays, they need support, nurturing, conjoling, excuses, compliments and damn near indentured servitude to function as men. I feel sad for the choices my 20-something daughter has to choose from today. Not saying there are no good BM, but there are so many poor choices for social, economic, and emotional reasons, it seems to be difficult to navigate through it all.

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    • @Tanycha – 35 years in is longer than most people on this website been alive! Yes, you talking bout a whole other era altogether. But what you’ve said is true with one caveat:

      With the breakdown of the family unit, Both men and women are weaker.

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    • alldawg

      I remember watching the ABC special on youtube “Why Can’t Successful Black Women Find a Good Man?”, and the Brothers were talking about the women giving their men affirmation. I can’t remember her name at the moment but she is the Sister on the view and she said “I don’t have time to stroke a man’s ego”, what’s funny about that is, a woman will find time to stroke something else, but doesn’t realize that men need some of the same things BW need.

      It’s OK to tell your man “Baby you da Bomb!” “Baby I appreciate you and everything you do.” “Baby I got your back.” ” Baby you can accomplish anything.” I mean BW can be the “hype man” too. BM needs to hear “Baby I love you”. So keep saying what you don’t “have time for” if you want to, then don’t be surprised when your time RUNS OUT.

      ***Note, I just want to say that it’s not about stroking a man’s ego, it is about giving us what you want from him, that’s how reciprocity REALLY works, you know this society paints BM as all hard and void of emotion, but we have a heart and feelings just like bw do. Betty Wright said “Love is like a flower it needs the sun and the rain”, that means love has to be continuously fed and nurtured. Go on and tell your King he freaking rock and ain’t NOBODY as bad as HIM! Send him off to work with that, that will make such a difference in his day. That will make a man even on the most demanding job work cheerfully, because he is knows what type of Woman he will be returning home too.****

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    • alldawg

      Ok……so you want a man or men that have been broken, emasculated, and made weak on PURPOSE to INSTANTLY gain some type of Herculean Strength? Ummm ok well if women expect instantaneous results from bm, can bw promise the same? Can bw say Black Man I have been taught for hundred years to hate you, gave birth to children that hate you, aided and abetted in your destruction, but I am going to stop IMMEDIATELY. No? Ok I didn’t think so.

      You know when it comes to the bm, bw want expedited results, but when it is on bw, bw start speaking French so quickly you would think that is their native tongue. “BM we need you to be more patient with us”, “We need to work together”, “we, we, we” but when it is bm, it’s just you, you, you. It’s simple.

      Whatever bw require, first be WILLING to give it. If bw want to be UNDERSTOOD, then bw have to be willing to first UNDERSTAND. If bw want to be HEARD, bw must first be willing to LISTEN. If bw want to be VIEWED differently, bw must first be willing to adjust thier VISION. You see the pattern right? The bottom line is, if bw are asking for something that bw aren’t willing to give, if bw want change, while continue to stay the same, and if bw want apologies while refusing to acknowledge thier wrongs, then bw are being unjust, bw are being unfair, bw are being hypocritical…..where is the “equality” in that?

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    • Tanycha welcome now that’s what I am talking about your comment are a breath of fresh air on this and other black blogs you almost never hear black people making positive comments about black marriage less more something positive about a black male, I am in my 28 year of marriage and all our children are successful professional adults I am proud to say I have grown to love, respect admire and appreciate my beautiful wife and after years of marriage I feel my wife love, admire and appreciate me and for that I am now loving every minute of my marriage so much so I would not want to live without a good black wife that being said the young black men are weaker for the very reason you stated also the young black women are weaker, abrasive, conformational and always bragging about their independence and how many sexual partner they have had or bragging about how many different nationality of men they have dated while at the same time wondering why they are still single, the young black males and females have a lot of trust issue and just don’t get it and can’t seem to understand that in order to have a successful relationship/marriage the two must embrace the interdependent mindset they must learn to trust each other, love each other and be willing and proud to serve each other without always keeping scores. Now I must leave to give my lovely wife some attention because she bought me a big lovely fruit basket with my favorite big red chocolate cover strawberry in it for valentine day.

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    • tulipenoire

      I don’t believe in putting down Black men, as they get that enough from the media and society and all this other stuff in general as do Black women; all my comments were referring to were more so just taking responsibility in relationships and not placing total blame on one sex unless it’s necessary.

      I firmly believe that all relationships should be ones that are equal in all aspects; 50/50 responsibility and full of love and supportive. I just want relationship books, when focused on it, to state that as well. You don’t have to “baby” your spouse but do what you can to make him/her know that his/efforts in your relationship are appreciated and loved.

      If I were to buy a book that focused on me and my love life, then it would make sense to read about my faults in my dating life but this book by Rev Run and Tyrese makes no sense whatsoever.

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