If you’re in need of a few laughs today, let’s take a look at what’s been going on with FBI employees. CNN recently got its hands on a leaked FBI memo that contained some confidential internal disciplinary reports, that was circulated among the Bureau employees. The purpose of the report is to help employees keep their noses clean by “steering clear of ethical pitfalls and other violations.”
The FBI has some pretty high hopes, especially since there seems to be a lot of sexting going on between the employees. Not only are they using their government issued phones, they’re not covering their tracks. You’d think people working for The FBI would know better.
“We’re hoping (that) getting the message out in the quarterlies is going to teach people, as well as their supervisors … you can’t do this stuff,” FBI assistant director Candice Will told CNN this week. “When you are given a FBI BlackBerry, it’s for official use. It’s not to text the woman in another office who you found attractive or to send a picture of yourself in a state of undress. That is not why we provide you a FBI BlackBerry.”
Here’s a breakdown of some of the violations included in the report:
— One employee engaged in a “romantic relationship with former boyfriend (now husband) knowing he was a drug/user dealer. Employee also lied under oath when questioned during the administrative inquiry about her husband’s activities.”
— Another FBI worker “hid a recording device in supervisor’s office. In addition, without authorization, employee made copies of supervisor’s negative comments about employee that employee located by conducting an unauthorized search of the supervisor’s office and briefcase.” It said the employee “lied to investigators during (the) course of the administrative inquiry.”
— An FBI supervisor “repeatedly committed check fraud and lacked candor under oath.”
— One employee “was involved in a domestic dispute at mistress’ apartment, requiring police intervention. Employee was drunk and uncooperative with police” and “refused to relinquish his weapon, making it necessary for the officers to physically subdue him, take the loaded weapon and place employee in handcuffs.”
— In other cases, an employee was charged with DUI for the second time and another was caught in a child pornography sting operation
The employees in these cases were fired. Well I’d hope so.
But a few got off with a mere pat on the back, via a suspension:
– One employee used (a) personal cell phone to send nude photographs of herself to other employees” which “adversely affected the daily activities of several squads.”
– Another FBI worker e-mailed a “nude photograph of herself to ex-boyfriend’s wife.” Both employees received 10-day suspensions.
– Another who visited a massage parlor “and paid for a sexual favor from the masseuse” received a 14-day suspension.
– And an employee who used a government-issued BlackBerry “to send sexually explicit messages to another employee” was suspended for five days.
Ok, is this the FBI or Fast Times At Ridgemont High?
Lets just say, some of the FBI employees aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed.