Shonda Shonda Rhimes has given special advice to any single girls moping around on February 14th: “F*ck Valentine’s Day. Go do something with your life!”

Her message, and somewhat of a rant, came after a fan asked her advice for single girls this love day. “Here is what I say to all the ladies who are alone on Valentines Day: please do not ever use these words ‘ladies who are alone on Valentine’s Day’ together in a sentence ever again. Ever. Again,” she wrote.

Rhimes said V-Day is not any more significant than any other day of the year and single women don’t need cheering up because, “THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.”

“DO NOT buy into the idea that a day created by greeting card companies should be more romantic than other day or should make you feel lonelier than any other day,” she continued. “‘Cause life is awesome. And [feeling lonely because of it] is stupid. And a waste of perfectly good time.”

The television producer and brains behind hit show Scandal suggested all women to do whatever it is that makes them happy today. “Go. Be happy with the people you love and who love you,” she said. “See a friend. Read a book. Flirt with a cute boy (or girl). Dance it out. Watch a movie. Have a party. Build a robot. Stop a Zombie Apocalypse. Take over the Earth. Paint your toenails. Eat soup. DO ANYTHING.”

Thanks for the great advice, Shonda!

Whether you are single or in a relationship, what are your plans this V-day? 

  • Ash

    LOVE IT!

  • DBG

    RLMAO!! Touched a major nerve I guess.

  • Marisa

    Amazing because I just had a convo with my aunt today and she told me that she and my other aunt were having a convo about Valentines Day and how its really for lil kids and teens. I told her that’s how I feel because that’s the last time Valentines Day was enjoyable and fun. When we were kids and you had the school parties and we would exchange the valentines cards make lil mail boxes to put them in. Somebody’s mom would make the cupcakes and the like, we would fill up the mailbox for the kids who didn’t have many friends.

    Fast foward the clock and I as a grown woman cant take Valentines Day seriously, like every other “holiday” this one is designated to screw with peoples psyche’s/self esteem/relationships, while fleecing people’s wallets. The way adults turn themselves inside out on this day, and go back to crappy relationships every other day. Then if your single on this day people come at you as if your life as no meaning and you should be made to feel sad or some crap. Bottom line Ground Hogs Day means more to me than Valentines Day because I need that lil hair ball not to see his shadow so we can get this winter over and done with quicker.

  • D

    “…V-Day is not any more significant than any other day of the year”

    Puhleeze. Single women love to say this….always seems to change when they’re in relationships, though, Then celebration of this day becomes paramount. Quite the mystery…lol

  • Sasha

    Seriously what is wrong with people and why the bitterness? As a single woman, I was never bitter or irritated on Valentine’s Day and now as a non-single woman, I’m not anymore elated that I have someone to share it with. Yes it just another day, this should not be the only day people express their love for someone and yes it is a Hallmark holiday but so what? If people want to celebrate Valentine’s Day to the fullest and post their pics to social media then that’s okay and it is perfectly okay to be bitter if you choose to but I don’t see why anyone would choose to be sad or depressed. I absolutely love Valentine’s Day as well as other holidays, yes I even celebrate Flag Day and get dressed up for the occasion. Have a Coke and smile people, it’s okay :)


    i gotta give it to shonda…she’s spot on. the root of her comments are not bitterness, but rather, a way of combating the whole “the problem with you women” narrative that seems to be so popular among supposed relationship gurus (see the foolishness called “manology”.

  • jamesfrmphilly

    it is not significant when you ain’t got nobody…

  • Blue

    Single or taken I’ve felt the same way about Valentines Day. Just another superficial day. And if you don’t get anything, you begin to question your self worth. It’s a holiday for women really. I rarely see women buy a guy something for Valentine’s day. If you get something, you boast about it secretly hoping to make someone envious, If you don’t get something or you’re single, something is wrong with you. It’s more of a day where you feel obligated to get your significant other something or else. Look what commercialism has done. Dance, puppets, dance

  • The Moon in the Sky

    This wouldn’t be a problem if this holiday wasn’t marketed as a holiday for women.

  • Marisa

    If people want to partake in Valentines great but others need to stop trying to make other people feel like crap because their single. Just because not every woman is at home on the couch having a sob fest doesn’t make people bitter haters.

    My parents are married my dad has a habit of treating my mother like the Queen she is for the entire 12 months not just this day. Actually he goes out more for her birthday and Mothers Day. My point is every year we are bashed about the head with this over emphasis on being single this time of the year, as if its a medical condition lol. All these talking heads advising “single women how to get through the day” just extra for no reason. If your single we get through this day like every other day. What I needed was how to get through the day after the 49ers lost the Super Bowl lol.

  • catpopstar

    Its like Arbor day. If I don’t get off work, I don’t really care. Plus that lovey-dovey crap makes me vomit. DX

  • Child, Please

    Well, first Happy Valentine’s Day to all. Second, I’ve noticed this is always the rhetoric when it comes to Valentine’s Day, but it doesn’t seem to show up around Christmas or any other “superficial” holiday. I don’t know anyone who’s making someone feel bad for being single other than those that don’t celebrate themselves and even then you’re bringing the mood down for some who may actually be single and like the holiday or those coupled up. It’s fine to not celebrate it, but don’t make those who do feel bad for doing so or belittle it’s significance because you don’t celebrate it or detest the meaning behind it. Should you tell someone you love them everyday? Of course, but there’s no shame in celebrating a designated day for love whether it be for self, your SO, family, co-workers or people in general. Happy V-Day!

  • The Moon in the Sky

    I’ve seen the opposite mostly where those who are celebrating are the ones making the mean spirited tweets and Facebook status updates toward women.

  • D.T.

    The only people I see being against VD are either single or know their SO is not going to get them something anyway. Question? If you celebrate your love everyday anyway, why be against a day like today? I mean after all you are celebrating it anyway right? Do these people feel the same way about Thanksgiving, Christmas or even birthdays? It’s silly. Let those that enjoy this day enjoy it without all the bitterness and passive aggressiveness.

  • Pseudonym

    I’m not Muslim, so I don’t observe Ramadan. I’m not Hindu, so I don’t observe Diwali. I’m not a mother, so I don’t get gifts on Mother’s Day. I’m not a secretary, so I don’t get gifts on Secretary’s Day. I’m not in a relationship, so I don’t get gifts on Valentine’s Day. and on none of these days, so I bash those who are celebrating or self-deprecating b/c I am not celebrating.

    I would like to get rid of Valentine’s Day, just so that I don’t have to read or hear bitter messages from singles and get invitations to nonsense “single girls’ Valentine’s Day” dinners. The couples are cute as pie. It’s the single people that make the holiday unbearable.

  • ChaCha1

    Valentines day…hmm, it isn’t a BIG deal to me, but we do observe it. I received a simple chocolate heart. I even got my kids candy. I see it like other holidays that I celebrate.

    As for Shonda, well, whatever makes her feel better. But I don’t think people should be made to feel bad for celebrating or not celebrating it.

  • Kacey

    Go out and get you some cupcakes, chocolate and champagne. I HIGHLY recommend it!!!

  • Sasha

    Your father sounds like an amazing man. All I’m saying/ asking is who are these “others” you speak of that are trying to make single women feel bad?! All the bitterness I hear on Valentine’s Day solely comes from single women so if there are talking heads speaking of their plight maybe it’s because they put themselves out there for ridicule/ advice/ commentary. Valentine’s Day is cute and you don’t have to be with someone in order to appreciate it.

  • MommieDearest

    Thou dost protest much, eh?

  • Marisa

    Just open a newspaper and magazine and the first thing there is oh so your single on V-Day what a tragedy heres how to cope with your devasting circumstances. Or check out any blog that has day after day and whats the subject oh yeah single women. Sorry dear but being single is not putting yourself out there to be ridiculed, if your asked your dating status and you say single don’t act like the Spanish Inquisition doesn’t happen next.
    My dad does rule thank you our family is quite lucky. I don’t get the need for single people to do anything extra, have a girls night happy hour all dressed in red. Or the ever popular take a platonic man out for what why all the extra pretention? That’s what Shonda’s point was in all of this I guess people were asking of her to send some single women’s survival guide message and this is what she wrote. Just live your life if your into this kind of thing enjoy have at but, lets not pretend there is not an industry built on women primarily black women and our dating habits.

  • Sasha

    I think what I said was taken a bit out of context. By no means was I trying to say that by the very act of being single you are by default putting yourself out there to be ridiculed. I was trying to say that the people who constantly talk/whine about being single are the ones that put themselves out there and who the “solve a single woman’s problem and/or make them feel like crap” market is centered around. I am now in a relationship but wasn’t for years (18-23) but was never bitter about Valentine’s Day or bought into the mentality that being single is a problem that needs to be “fixed”. When I hear this bitterness or single woman woes I find them to be annoying because it brings the energy/ mood down and it’s borderline psycotic to me that anyone would sit there and wallow in their singleness. That’s the main reason why a market for this kind of stuff exists and it’s pathetic.

  • AJW

    Folks love calling women bitter. Lol

  • Oh Well

    If your bitter then your bitter, sorry.

  • Mademoiselle

    I actually agree. I remember back in my school years I would have friends who would one year try to recruit me to boycott the day and wear all black, but the next year would fret over whether their new boo will go all out. As an adult, the only thing that’s changed is no one’s planning a boycott these days — the snarky comments abound, though — but I can’t think of any of my coupled friends who don’t make a big deal out of it.

  • MercedesKeyes (@mercyk)

    Bravo Bravo Bravo… positively outstanding – couldn’t have said better myself! Now if only they will listen!

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