The SisterhoodHi, my name is Danielle and I’m a reality television junkie.  So naturally this week my television was semi tuned in to TLC’s new reality series The Sisterhood.  To be honest I can’t tell you much about the episode since I was flipping channels, but one scene did manage to fully capture my attention.  In this particular scene Domonique gathered the other pastors’ wives for a “Christian sex therapy” session.  What followed was what many would call pure blasphemy.

The ladies turned the session into a church service, complete with callbacks from the parishioners and everything.  The leader of the “therapy” proceeded to preach her sexual gospel to the ladies saying:

“We gotta keep it hot and poppin’ the bedroom.  Amen. Can I get a witness?  Sex is a ministry and it should be treated just like a worship service.  And by the time sex is over with, your man should be shouting ‘Hallelujah!’ or something.”

*Cue little old grannies passing out with church fans*

One First Lady, Tara, nearly jumped out of her weave at the mention of adding sex toys into their bedroom games and another, Christina, couldn’t stop blushing.   Some of the comments on social media sites bashed the ladies for discussing sex so openly and were mortified that they would “use the Lord’s name in vain.” Watching the show I did think it was strange for grown women, who are married and have kids, to be giggling like school girls at a peeled banana or acting like sex toys are the devil, but other than that I didn’t see anything wrong with them wanting to enhance their sex lives.

Yes, they are First Ladies, representatives of their churches and of the Lord, but umm, how do people think we get Pastors and First Ladies?  Only Mary was a virgin when she gave birth so in order for your favorite Pastor and First Lady to exist, somebody was knockin’ da boots.  Word to H-Town.  Just because these women are of the church doesn’t mean that they aren’t women and subjected to the same insecurities and requirements that other women are.  They want to make sure that they satisfy their husbands in the bedroom and I don’t see anything wrong with that.  Being a sexual creature doesn’t make them any less committed to The Word than the rest of us who twerk on Saturday and sing in the choir on Sunday.  Calling them ungodly, disrespectful, etc, simply because they are discussing their sex lives, in my opinion, says more about you than it does about them.  They are being women and wives, and anyone with something to say is being judgmental and I’m sure out of the two, being judgmental is a bigger sin.  But what do I know  *shrug*

In any case, I’m proud of the ladies for discussing sex so openly and showing the world that there is more to the image of First Lady than some hymn humming little bitty in a big hat.  They are women and apparently, they are also wives with husbands who are enjoying some great sex.  Now let the church say “Amen”  to that!

Do you think it’s taboo for First Ladies to discuss sex?

  • listener

    Married christian women talking about sex. I don’t see the problem….

    Maybe though- because some viewers are not very au fait with what’s in the Bible, saying “sex is an act of worship” sounds a little blasphemous. We have veered so far from God’s design for sex- in marriage, that when people celebrate sex the way God intended, it feels awkward.

    I look forward to enjoying sex in marriage- and when I get there, I’d hope I can share openly with a female mentor (like a First Lady) what insecurities I may have or just seek advice. I’d like to know there’s a forum I can be free to talk, to share.

  • Tee

    It shouldn’t be taboo and the bible says the marriage bed is undefiled which pretty much means whatever that man and that woman….that are married to one another let’s not get it twisted, wants to do in their bed or wherever it’s all free game EXCEPT for anything that would cause either of the two to fall into sin. So sex toys not a problem, bringing other people into that marriage bed big problem. And at the same time if one person within the relationship isn’t comfortable with doing something ie sex toys the other spouse is to respect that persons choice. The only thing that a spouse should not do is deny their partner sexually but both parties have to agree with what they get down with.

    When it comes to 1st ladies they do have to use wisdom not just in talking about sex but the degree of detail. For instance if they were talking to a group at church nobody need to get a visual of what her and her husband the Pastor does in their bedroom! Then consideration has to be given to singles, being careful to guard them so that they’re not tempted sexually. I saw the show and personally wasn’t offended, by that part of it but I can see where others would be. Where it is looked at as taboo by the church is due to wrong teaching, not because it isn’t something that shouldn’t be covered but an impression was given that sex is wrong vs. sinning sexually is wrong.

  • Tee

    And I do have to address, you had me with everything but this one: “Being a sexual creature doesn’t make them any less committed to The Word than the rest of us who twerk on Saturday and sing in the choir on Sunday”

    God does call us to a standard and what folks miss in trying to claim Christianity without actually claiming Christ, is that He does the work of changing our hearts so we not only want to do things that is pleasing to Him but we desire it and hate what He hates. If you’re a Christian doing anything anti-Christ a fellow Christian has a right to call you on it. When Jesus spoke on non-judgment it had to do with the self righteousness of sinning folk that want to point a finger at someone else. There is a right judgment that we are called to do. Even in the verse that Jesus said not to judge He speaks on first removing your gigantic boulder of a sin before trying to remove the speck from your brother’s eye (remixed the verse lol). He didn’t say not to remove the speck however, we still should be getting at the speck but in love not in condemnation.

  • Cocochanel31

    I did not see the episode, however, I guess you just expect a “First Lady” ( hate that word by the way) to have a certain level of tact like any lady would. What you do with your HUSBAND is your business, however, certain things/info can be left in the privacy of YOUR Bedroom. There is a tactful way to express your healthy sex appetite/desire for your husband, however, sounds like tact was nowhere near this conversation.

  • Trinity Jones

    I think by people placing ministers as well as First Ladies to a higher standard or a pedestal, they forget they are only human. And most (ministers and the FLs) were living a carnal lifestyle prior to living a Christian one. When we hear conversations about sex, we automatically think these ladies are out of place because we expect their role to only involve being the moral support to their husbands or providing hospitality services. The church as a whole should embrace speaking and teaching about sex. The act of sex is not a sin, but fornication is. Sex is sacred for marriage. So really the statement, “We gotta keep it hot and poppin’ the bedroom. Amen. Can I get a witness? Sex is a ministry and it should be treated just like a worship service. And by the time sex is over with, your man should be shouting ‘Hallelujah!’ or something” is not out of alignment at all. It is just looked upon as taboo-ish because of the source it is coming from. Sex is a ministry in the sense that it must be cultivated constantly. By the church traditionally not having open discussions about the importance of sex, it has missed the mark of how important it is in a marriage. For a reality show, the FLs explanation of the truth had to be explained in more “juicer” terms. Actually, it is conversation-worthy and essential to maintain a spicy sex life. Women and men have to remember by most engaging in prior sexual activities, they don’t want a mediocre sex life especially after marriage. Even though your husband is the man of the cloth, he still craves sexual satisfaction and vice versa.

  • bornliberian

    pastor wives are human too.

  • http://clutch SL

    @Tee – everything you said is spot on albeit, here it is plain and simple. If you are not married and claim Christ, you should not be “twerking” on Saturday – Nope Not At All – unless you are “twerking” yourself.

  • EST. 1986

    This is an example of how religion takes away the ability for one to be rational.

  • Fancypants

    Sex should be spoken about in the church, albeit tactfully. The only thing shared with young ladies is that you shouldn’t do it and that young laides who do are dirty and trashy. So after hearing that all of your life, you’re magically supposed to turn it off and feel good about it when you get married? I’m newly married and it’s taken a minute for me to get past those bad feelings and really enjoy sex with my husband.

  • Joy

    What’s taboo is for pastor’s wives to do a reality show. Really?? Seriously??
    How do they expect people to take religion seriously when it (religion) is mocked in a reality show

  • Joy

    born: In fact so human that they have stooped to doing a reality show

  • E.M.S.

    Sex shouldn’t be a taboo subject for anyone. Regardless of your religion or other personal views. Now I do believe there is a way to go about discussing it, but it wouldn’t be off limits.

  • Pseudonym

    Talk about sex, but I think it’s tacky for pastor’s wives to be having that conversation on national television while practicing the seductive tasting of a banana. Time and place.

    Also, I’ve been watching this show on YouTube (RealityShowJunkie) and that “bachelorette” party was interesting….

  • http://trueletterson.wordpress.com trueletterson

    This is just another way to hustle black women or women in general, now the preachers wife is joining in on hustling black women, first it was the slavemaster, the pimp, the politician, the preacher, the talk show host [Oprah, Steve Harvey, Jerry Springer, Maury Povich etc], then the life coach and now come the preachers wife if you don’t believe me tell me what can the preacher wife tell other women about sex that they don’t already know?

  • http://www.facebook.com/nieshag Niesha Gourdine

    this show is just ratchet period.. they should be ashamed… smh

  • EST. 1986

    On the other article you seemed to be perfectly okay with Black women being ‘hustled’ by Tyrese and Rev Run.

  • Pseudonym

    Okay, in case anyone who watches this show reads this thread again, what is up with the woman who pawned her wedding rings b/c she was broke and couldn’t pay for her kids to go to school and then next thing she’s showing up at a black tie event with a jeweled mask and a little while later is having a vow renewal ceremony and going to Miami to get guys to pay for her drinks at her “bachelorette party?!!!” I mean, I’m sure the show is paying for a lot of it, but shouldn’t you be putting that money toward more important things, like securing your daughters’ futures and having some money saved or something of value so that you aren’t pawning your wedding rings again for cash next month?!!!

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