Life is happening for Tamera Mowry, one of our beloved “Sister, Sister” twins, with a hit reality show, a supportive hubby and now, her role as a first time mommy. As happy as this time is in her life, Tamera’s interracial relationship and biracial child are the target of negative, unsolicited commentary from fans and critics alike. The new mother set the critics straight by addressing crude comments made about her marriage and her baby’s skin color.

Tamera posted an open letter thanking all of her fans for their support and putting the haters right back in their seat:

“Tia and I have always known we have amazing fans, but reading all your messages and comments on this blog make it even clearer. When people say ignorant things about Aden’s race or my marriage with his daddy Adam, it’s easy for me to take it personally – even after all this time, my skin isn’t that thick!”

She continued to show gratitude towards all of her fans for the mental support by sharing their own stories of interracial relationships.

“Hearing your stories about your own beautiful, mixed race babies and the love you have for their fathers grounds me back to reality and reminds me of the truth. Skin color has nothing to do with love. How Aden looks or grows up to look like – whether he looks more “white” or more “black” – doesn’t matter to me. Why should it? He’s my precious baby boy and my only job is to be the best mommy I can be to him while showing him both sides of his heritage. All I want for him to believe is that love knows no boundaries.”

In her blog post, Tamera also touches on an emotional story of the day her life flashed before her eyes:

“The other day, Adam, Aden and I had a brush with a very scary situation. We were driving along on the highway, when all of a sudden the car in front of us crashed into the car in front of it. We watched in horror as the car flipped over and over and over again on the highway. It was terrifying… I still get chills now just thinking about it.”

Still shaken up and amid the chaos of emotional events, she wanted to leave these impressionable words with her fans in regards to her newfound outlook on fear and pain:

“Life is too short to not do what you have set your heart out to do. Life is too short to hold any grudges. Life is short, and life is beautiful. To have the gift of life is a blessing. Many die daily and if you are alive right now, then you have been given that gift.”

I agree. Life is way too short to rely on fear and the opinion of others to shape your decisions. In a society where interracial couples are increasingly becoming more prevalent, you would think the shock factor of a black woman and white man has lost its appeal. Apparently, this remains a tumultuous issue that some people feel they need to address through negative commentary. It’s good to see Tamera rise above it.

What do you think of Tamera’s comments, Clutchettes?

-Nikki B.

  • Anthony

    First, I honestly think 90% of what Mowry posts is just to keep her name out there and her ratings up. Second, since we live in an era where biracial status is acknowledged, calling her relationship interracial is weird since her husband is the same color as her dad.

  • P

    What?! smh…people just can’t be happy! This is ridiculous.

    Thinking about what others have to say is taking away from enjoying her bundle of joy. I’m glad she is rising above this. People will never allow you to be happy if you let’em. Btw, that is a beautiful photo of them.

    Congrats to Tamera and her husband.

  • Ask_ME

    Obviously you haven’t read some of the hate that has been thrown her way on some black blog sites.

    She doesn’t have to “keep her name out there” when racist insist on keeping HER NAME in their mouths.

    Tia and Tamera are biracial. This is true. However, the black community has always regarded them as BLACK. So, yes some people do feel her marriage is interracial. I don’t agree with this logic…I’m just going by what I’ve read.

    Anyway, I just want to say RIGHT ON to Tamera. Your family and your personal happiness comes first…forget the haters.

  • Memi

    Tamera herself is the product of biracial heritage, this is a non-issue. Oh well, I’ll take this over yet ANOTHER Beyonce post.

  • The Bishop

    Ain’t nobody thinking about Tamera. Sorry “Ain’t nobody got time for that, I’m going to get me a cold pop.”

  • donnadara

    If her husband didn’t work over at Fox News, I don’t think people would be coming so hard for her.

  • LemonNLime

    Wait isn’t she biracial? So her child is 75% white, just like Halle Berry’s child. I’m not surprised the baby is lighter, he is mostly white. Not a big deal, it just is what it is. Cute kid though.

    At least she isn’t shoving the, “MY child is black, because the race of the child is determined by the mother” craziness Halle’s been on. If that was true, since Halle’s mom is white, she would be considered white, and her daughter (who is mostly white) would be considered white.

  • CoCo Brown

    He is a gorgeous baby boy of God creation.People like to hate to make themselves feel good. Haters beware when it comes back on you -you’ll know why

  • Ask_ME

    And so what if her husband does work at Fox News? He’s taking care of his family and he isn’t breaking any laws doing it.

  • tish

    hey, FYI, there were about 100 murders in the US today….

    can we talk about something of real substance?

    congrats to mom, dad and little wee babe…..

  • http://twitter.com/HexonT3 Walter Thompson III (@HexonT3)

    It’s 2013 and we are still engaging in this kind of dialogue about biracial couples and babies as if it really should matter in modern society. This is so tired and worn out! Next subject! I need a cold pop for sure now!

  • Isis

    Even though she is biracial to most blacks shes black and her loyalty is supposed to be to black men. A hot mess!! Blacks stay getting mad at ‘black’ women for dating others but encourage black men to seek outside the race. Too much hypocrisy for me. Im glad black and biracial women are dating others

  • Somebody

    “How Aden looks or grows up to look like – whether he looks more “white” or more “black” – doesn’t matter to me. Why should it?”
    I love Tamera’s reality show with her sister but the statement above contradicts what she said in one of the episodes. There was an episode in which she expressed concern about her unborn baby’s complexion to her cousin Jerome, and went further to express her feelings to her husband, sister and a friend who like her baby had one White parent and one biracial (Black/White mixture) parent. She really was concerned about appearance and how he would be treated. That is not a crime at all. If now she has gained more confidence, that’s great. She is perfectly right – love knows no colour.

  • Kat

    They do realize that Tamera and her siblings are all of mixed race…right?

  • MySister’sKeeper

    No one is mad. This is a non story provided for people like you to rail against black women. Move on!

  • KGA25

    Who really cares about Tamera that much?!!

  • Nikster

    Um…do you realize the website you are on. They profile a lot of stories. There are several on gun violence particularly the young lady recently killed in Chicago on the site. Why come to this article and say this as if Clutch doesn’t provide articles on that topic?

  • Chillyroad

    The Bishop


  • Mr. Man

    That’s just it, haters don’t care at all however they’re opportunist.

  • Jeannine Blackwell

    Tamera you are at a point in your life that you should be happy and not let anyone’s bigotry or stupidity(for lack of a more accurate word)steal your joy!! They talked about Jesus! Girl live your life and be a good mom and wife to the man you chose to live your life with!

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    “The black community has always regarded them as BLACK…”

    I kind of disagree here, BOTH Tia and Tamera has regarded THEMSELVES as black women. They identify themselves as black women even while acknowledging their biracial heritage so I don’t think this is something most people in the black community staunchly hold them too, because most black people who know of them knows they are biracial, this is much more how they view themselves and even how they grew up to think then anything the community regards them as.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    I’ am with others; I don’t get the big deal here, she is a result of an interracial union. She is biracial, I don’t see her marriage as an interracial one nor do I see Tia’s marriage (who is married to a black man) as interracial either despite them viewing themselves as black women. But I notice that the twins get hurt easily over people’s ignorance and addresses nearly every little thing someone says maybe they need to live their life off-line. As for the nay-Sayers whelp, there are critics and purist in every corner with an opinion only ones that counts is yours.

  • Black People

    Why does her relationship count as an interracial relationship and not her sister’s? Their father is white and their mother is black. She married white and her sister black. But apparently she’s the only one getting hate. Give me a break. But I also love how black women are blaming black men for this. Are black women also mad because a black man married a biracial woman or are black woman mad that her sister also couldn’t find a white man? LOL!

  • The Moon in the Sky

    There are other sites that could accommodate you.

  • http://thecommentatorspeaks.wordpress.com The Commentator Speaks

    I find it interesting how much of a serious/contentious(?) deal interracial or mixed raced relationships/marriages seem to be in the U.S. Here in the UK, it seems like every other person is mixed race. Literally. It’s so common. No-one has the right to judge her on her marriage let alone her baby. That’s not on. It also shows that there is some deep rooted racial hatred lingering within some people.

  • K

    i dont remember all this “controversy” when Paula Patton had her baby and her baby looks the same way and its the same situation, ethnically mixed woman, white man and i dont remember her getting “attacked” whats the difference?

  • Sharon Smith-Hardy

    I agree. I am a biracial woman. I had a man in my church make a comment that all biracial people who look black are black. I asked him why that was. His answer was because a child is legally the same race as her father. My response? I i guess that makes me white? I guess the thought of a black woman having a child with a white man never occurred to him. Then the rule changed. He said your race is whatever you look the most like. Either way he said there is no such thing as “biracial” and that we should all just pick a side.

    Believe me ignorance about race is still out there.

  • kelly

    I think its because paula light skin, you know that everyone and there mother are always against us darker tone women. whatever a black women of a darker tone dose something its always a big deal, for some reason different shades are treated differently..


    Personally, I don’t get why people get sooo upset because people don’t approve of IR’s. People have the right to think & feel however they wanna feel.

    Me personally, there is not enough black love in this world, so yeah, when I see a lack of it, I’m going to comment on it.

    However, why are the “T” twins even coming up in discussions at all? They’re really not that important in the scheme of things.

  • ImJustSaying

    The fact that she’s worried about how he’ll be perceived is a valid concern. That doesn’t mean she’ll sit him down before kindergarten and say “ok Aden now you must choose will you be white or black? The other kids are going to need a designation.”
    Just like people made fun of her for being biracial unfortunately and inevitably her son will be too. I think that was her voicing her concerns to those close to her(Jerome), The situation (her also 3/4 white 1/4 black friend), or her family (Hubby Adam)

  • ImJustSaying

    Paula Patton didn’t have a reality show putting her in front of the ignorant masses every week. People were “outraged” but they didn’t have a platform to spew their venom.

  • Nadell

    Is Lil Wayne ever attacked for his mate choices? How about Eric Benet? Is he ever questioned about why he married the woman he married? Has anyone ever confronted Djimon Hounsou for having a child w/ Kimora? I am absolutely sure any of these men have NEVER faced the amount of criticism Tamera, Halle or Sharon Leal have faced because of their preference. Let me take that back — the only time Halle was exempt from the criticism is when she married black men.

    Black women who date interracially are attacked and interrogated but black men who do the same are off-limits. Black women are constantly having to defend the choices they make while black men get a ‘pass’.

  • CeCee H

    If one can find love and happiness in this world, who cares what anyone thinks or says? She’s a beautiful woman, wife and mother and looks very happy. Happy for her! And Aden is GORGEOUS!

  • http://twitter.com/Cognorati001 Colette Marcheline (@Cognorati001)

    Posting pics of her baby in the first place opens the child up to this kind of scrutiny. The reality is that a lot of these celebs ARE doing it for publicity and it’s not appropriate, especially if one is in an interracial relationship — why expose the child to questions about its race or ethnicity when he isn’t of age to wade through it psychologically? Not to mention the fact that there are nutcases out there. Why would one want their child exposed to that?

  • Gigi

    I have not seen too many people commenting on Kanye and Kim’s baby’s race, know why…because IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT COLOR THE BABY IS!!! So why should it matter when it comes to Tamera and Adam’s baby? People need to stop hating on black women and get a damn life!

  • Ask_ME


    I think both of the above comments are OFF.

    The reason why Tamera is catching flack for HER CHOICE in a man and her 3/4 white child while Paula Patton didn’t catch any is because of the type of white man she married.

    Paula Patton married a wigga (let’s call a spade a spade). Robin Thicke is white on the outside and apparently black on the inside. He hangs around black men, most of his associates are black and he associates with black culture. Black men accept Robin Thicke into the “homeboy club.”

    Tamera’s white man is a pure bread conservative white man. He is a WHITE white man. He is NOTHING like Robin Thicke. He isn’t apart of the “homeboy club” and he’s not trying to be apart of it. Everything from his job at Fox News to his obvious whiteness bothers a certain group of ignorant black people, though this man hasn’t said a thing against the black community or black people.

    Garcelle Beauvais caught the same flack with HER CHOICE of a husband and her white looking kids.

  • Gigi

    Amen, could not have said it better myself!

  • Tia

    Her mom is black and her dad is white so why is everyone having an issue with her marriage? Are white people finally admitting that if you have one once of black in you – you are black? She is both white and black and who really cares??? If you do care go jump off a bridge the world does not need people like you in it. I hope regardless if she is on TV (which most of you are probably jealous of) that her family is safe and happy!!!!

  • The Moon in the Sky

    “I have not seen too many people commenting on Kanye and Kim’s baby’s race, know why…because IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT COLOR THE BABY IS!!!”

    In this case, it isn’t because it doesn’t matter, but that people have become familiar with Black men having out-of-wedlock children with non-Black women.


    Oh please… Like Black women don’t do the same thing???

  • Wanda

    The one-drop rule WAS the probably most notorious aspect of white racism.

    Black blood was considered so negative by whites that even if you had 1/100 African DNA, you were Black.

    Back in those days, you were NOT going to nobodies white schools, living in white neighborhoods, having white friends over the house, or dating and marrying white. In most of the country, all of this was forbidden.

    There were virtually NO interracial marriages in the entire country. That’s why the Loving case was so important. There were very few interracial marriages like the Mowrys or the Obamas.

    I remember the hell Sammy Davis Jr. caught for marrying May Britt.

    Now, we have biracials marrying full whites and then we expect to call their offspring “Black” like we’re living in 1925.

    This is a different time, just like there were no cell phones and Netflix in 1925. Wake up!


    Why does it matter to you, what everyone else thinks?

    You sound silly, implying that anyone is jealous that they are on TV. Contrary to what society tries to teach, not everybody secretly wants to be a celebrity.

    as far as I’m concerned, she is just another example of Black Love dying. Her & Kanye.

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

    Oh the hypocrisy. Had this been a Black male or a male of Tamera’a particular ethnic make-up saying the same thing he would have been attacked mercilessly in these comments.

    If you are going to be for inter-ethnic or inter-racial relationships be for them all the time. Not just when it’s a Black woman involved with a White man.

  • TT

    Beautiful baby, beautiful couple….all you haters,,,,go get a life! Critics with no pay!!!!

  • http://therulesbook.com/ KissOfDanger

    Umm, The UK is very racist according to the people of color living there. Mixed race unions mean nothing. Mixed unions have always happened regardless of the times.

  • http://therulesbook.com/ KissOfDanger

    The difference is that Paula married a man who has a black pass. Also whom I remember dissing black women not too long ago by saying we were overlooking “good black men”.

  • FB

    I appreciate the tactful way that Tamera addresses the critics. I’m happy that she shared her story and gave the haters backed their seat.

  • http://iolastar.com/blog iolastar

    Tamera’s baby is beautiful, a baby is joy, a baby is love anyone that has something negative to say about that is MISERABLE. What Tamera has to do is ignore the comment section of blogs, although you want to hear from your fans there will always be internet bullies that hide behind their screen name spitting hate. I know how riled up I get just by reading some of these negative comments so I can imagine what these celebrities are exposed to. Tamera wears her heart on her sleeve I hope she continues to stay classy and blessed.

  • Pseudonym

    Well, the Mowry twins (and their little brother) are biracial, so they’re both black and white, which makes them marrying someone black or white not an interracial relationship. Unless in your world biracial people are then only allowed to date other biracial people?…

    Black people seriously need to stop drinking this “one drop” Kool-Aid. It’s Jim Jones poisonous.

  • Pseudonym

    I wish I’d read your comment before I wrote:

    “Now, we have biracials marrying full whites and then we expect to call their offspring “Black” like we’re living in 1925.”

    Perfectly said.

  • Pseudonym

    @Bishop: That was AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha

  • http://fromthoughtsintowords.blogspot.com/ rkahendi

    That is indeed ironic, considering that she is herself biracial. Just goes to show how silly dwelling on this type of issue is.

  • Tara

    A true reality and those black women who cant seem to grasp that will be devastated in years to come. Realize that it is dying and decide what is best for yourself and make a move in either direction…

  • Tara

    Black people are complaining. She is not in (seemingly) an unhealthy relationship, having children out of wedlock with a thug, or having her eggs dry up. Good for her!

  • Tara

    Actualy, I as I am sure a lot of you live in predominantly white neighborhoods. These biracial kids do not walk around with complexes about being biracial. If anything a lot of them consider themselves superior. Trust me these kids are not going to be walking around with their heads held down. A lot of them are going to be the children of wealthy and middle class interracial couples. A lot of them will have whte mothers who will tell them that they are not like those “other” blacks.

    Spare me! Nothing against biracial people but they wont be suffering. In fact I think that they will be a force to be reckoned with considering their parents wealth. The very elite of blacks mate with others. Probably 80%-90% of black hollywood males under 40 are married interracially. The black underclass mates with each other and more working class.

    But biracial people in the future will be just fine. Believe me. It is the black underclass who will suffer.

  • lulu

    I agree. Black men never get attacked for dating outside the race but black women do. Some black women are scared of dating outside because of the stigma and the constant attack by other black people of being a sell-out. If you like someone who happens to not be black, what are you going to do? Suppress your feelings. I urge people to live their lives however they want, and not by society standards. Whoever someone chooses to date or marry is their own business. It is their marriage, not a marriage with the whole black community. Tia and Tamera need to stop responding to this negativity. And act the same way Gabby did when people commented on her hair. Ignored them, because you cannot teach an ignorant person anything, to be learned is a choice we all have.

  • Chillyroad

    Micheal Ealy was savaged in the comment section of this site and threatened with a boycott of his shows and movies.

  • Chillyroad


    The black women at this site have a short memory. They savaged Micheal Ealy when he married that Middle Eastern woman. They were threatening boycotts of his work. Now they in here claiming victimhood.

  • WhatIThink

    My point is not about any individual entertainer it is about the whole of the black population in entertainment. Where are the institutions and organizations in entertainment built by the black folks in entertainment to push the empowerment of black folks in entertainment and address issues of race in entertainment?

    The fact is that a large percentage of entertainment figures seem to feel that it is their right to date/marry who they want and still have us love them as black even though they don’t want to be black or want their children to be black and they definitely ARE NOT interested in doing anything to empower or uplift black people in entertainment. Is a white husband or wife going to go along with “empowerment” for black folks? Seriously?

    That is my point. These people are absolutely free to do what they want. Of course they can marry who they want. But at the same token they must stop claiming to represent black folks because they don’t. And we should not be looking up to them and teaching our children to look up to them because they are teaching them the wrong lessons. They want to to treat them like black folks and give them all your support, but what do they do in return? Nothing.

  • http://thecommentatorspeaks.wordpress.com The Commentator Speaks

    Well it depends where you live. In rural Britain perhaps, but it’s more likely to be a subtle thing than people out and out calling you names.

    I find the terminologies used in the states interesting too. As black people in Britain, the term ‘people of colour’ is never used because it’s seen as a bit off key. We are black/white/asian etc. And also this ‘one drop’ rule is not accepted here with regards to mixed race people. In fact, it’s seen as a bit racist. Mixed race people are not automatically classified as black at all and generally don’t – they associate with all their heritage. That’s why I guess it was a bit bemusing for us when Obama was called the ‘first black President’ because to us, he’s not black, he’s mixed race. We identify that there’s a difference. Not negative or positive, just different. But I understand that the context in America is different due to slavery. It’s just interesting.

  • kelly

    well thats because he was a lie, dont go around saying how much you love black women when you have eyes for a Becky…. come on now

  • kelly

    i still think my comment sums it up the best, black women with darker tones are always held to a different standard then or lily white sisters… Notice how all these shows now are showing dark skin women with white man… to me carmel loving is a must, but if you like it i love it as long as your happy..

  • Flash

    Plus + 1000


    @ Tara:

    Where is your proof that “80-90% of Hollywood black males are married interraccially?”

    Did you do the research on this yourself? Because this sounds like the the usual anti-black male propaganda that gets spat out, that women jump on the bandwagon with, to use as an excuse to go get them a white boy.

    “Mmm-hmm gurl, you made it!! You’s married now!! You done went and got you a GOOD white man!! Now yo’ eggs ain’t gone dry up!! High-five gurl!!”

    GTFOH with that.

    The reality is, if “80-90%” of black male celebrities are going vanilla, then that same number of black female celebrities are going in the same direction. Funny how that never gets talked about, though.

    Oh, it’s funny NOW the “T” twins are “biracial”. Black folks seem to ha e a very short memory span, when it comes to these issues.

    Back when they had their cute little show on WB, they were 2 young light skinned black girls, because that’s how they were marketed. The majority of their fanbase was black, because that’s who they were marketed to.

    On the show, their mother & father were Black, & they were involved in black middle class situations. Most of their friends were black, except for the one corny little token white boy (maybe she married his corny ass, who knows). They even had black rappers on the show, for gods sake.

    Now, all of a sudden they grew up, & outgrew their blackness, & one of them got them a white boy, & now they are “biracial”.

    Some of ya’ll Need-Growths (Negroes) are soooo lost.

  • victoria

    Im a black woman married to a white man with biracial children. I have a blessed family. A blessed home. A wonderful marriage- supportive, hard working husband who is a great provider, healthyand happy children. And most importantly, I serve a merciful God. What else can I ask for…?


    Perhaps for that “Merciful God” (whom I’m betting happens to look just like your white husband) to teach you about Black Love??

  • Chillyroad


    I’m interracially married. No kids yet. Please don’t act like your inter racial bliss is the opposite of black drudgery.

    Black misery vs. white bliss.


    @ Vixtoria:


    This is the problem I have with the majority of IR’s. They are presented to us, as if they are some sort of salvation for black folks.

    “Get you a white man/woman, & all your woes will disappear”.

    The majority of people of color are not getting into IR’s for “true love”, but rather for status, or to escape their Black or colored condition. Some are just more honest about their motives than others, & some are just in denial.

    I’ve heard numerous people say that they desire to have “pretty babies” (as if black babies are somehow ugly ybdefault?), as their reason for seeking an IR.

    And thats the whole problem, some people are SEEKING white love.

    This is nothing but Black self hatred in its purest form, & I shall rebuke it any & everywhere I see it.

  • Ange B

    Am I mistaken but isn’t Tia & Tamara biracial themselves? So what did people expect her baby to look like?…I’m confused by the notion of being in a bi racial marriage when you are biracial yourself…..hmmmm I don’t understand the hate some fans/people have towards her and her choices. She’s married and then had a baby…what’s the big deal?

  • B

    People are so ignorant. She is beautiful, her husband is hot and successful and her son is adorable. A lot of people are never satisfied, criticizing any and everything, not wanting to see anybody happy unless they are doing what they are “told” to do. There will always be negative, depressed, low-life or no-life havin people who think they know why we do what we do. The fact of the matter is that they don’t know s$&! and that’s all their breathe smells like when they open their mouths.

  • B

    How do you know what they want or don’t want to be? Maybe they want to be role models as it pertains to rising above stereotypes to reach economic success. It’s not their responsibility to be a role mod when it comes to choosing who to love.

  • PBR

    Question: why does it seem like most of the black men who are against black women marrying outside of their race are SINGLE. Married black men don’t seem to care, but the “proud to be a bachelor, I ain’t never getting married, shawty lo, bs and hs” crew are the loudest complainers. They can’t even settle on one woman to DATE let alone marry, but want these women to feel guilty about finding happiness.

    Listen up, most women, yes black women included, want a stable life and to eventually be married and settled down. You are not willing or able to give them that life, so leave them the hell alone to date and marry who they wish. It’s basic survival instincts, most women will adjust over time to get what they need.

  • B

    There’s no such thing as “black love” or maybe there is, which would explain all the single black female parents with men wanting to share their so called “black love”.

  • Blackie

    Seriously all you who have hate will be just of hate!
    If someone loves someone why would you want to hate that.
    its huge now days just to love, why hate. Life doesn’t care how you look like, only people do and that is Sad. I’m happy for Tamera’s baby and husband. i hope that they can find peace to stop caring about how others think of them. Love sees no color either and who are we to write or speak that we think that is love or not just because her husband is white.
    All of us need to check ourselves, our thoughts about ourselves. If you are a proud black man/woman, know that that proudness will not lead you into something great, be self-aware and by no means love yourselves cause that will cause you to stop pointing fingers at who married who and who loved who.

  • B

    People are not robots. If you think “black love” is dying, what are YOU doing to keep it alive? Stop complaining about it and start living it because your comments are f-ing stupid and no one gives a crap about the crap coming out of your mouth!


    “There’s no such thing as black love…”

    Do you hear how ridiculous you sound??

    Clearly there’s no Black Love for you l, with all that Black self hatred you are spewing out.

    Case in point: talking about how Black Ken are “spreading their love”.

    Over & over, it’s the same ol’ tired ass argument…

    Black men bogey man that hides in the closet, or the vampire that lurks in the night, preying on helpless, innocent black women victims.

    Never mind the part that these “helpless victims play in this whole mess; while black men are “spreading their love”, too many black women are spreading their LEGS.

    But that part of the narrative always gets skipped over.

  • https://katiearrington.scentsy.us Kathryn A

    Good for you. I’m in an interracial marriage. I’m white, my husband’s black, and we have a beautiful little girl. Love comes in all colors. While in our area, interracial relationships and marriages are very common and we haven’t ever gotten any negative comments. I’m sorry you have to go through that. Why should someone else care who you fell in love with? Keep up the good work with you’re beautiful family. :D

  • Anon

    Why me not giving Michael Ealy my money is considered a boycott is a mystery to me. If my grandparents were still alive, I’d ask them, you know the folks that ACTUALLY boycotted so I could eat/go to college/stay in a hotel wherever I wanted.

    And what happened to your “defending of black women stance”? Defend black women saving money on someone who had to have a secret marriage in order to have a career. That’s money on a trip abroad, down payment on a house, etc… .

  • http://defendingmoney.wordpress.com Marketing Gimmicks

    Tamara. You are never going to “correct” how people feel.

    You may shame them to not say certain things in public but people’s feelings are what they are and being on the defense will not change that. My best advice to her is to be happy and secure in the fact that she’s found love, created an healthy extension of love in her child, and that’s she’s got a man who is willing to love and protect her. Finding that in and of itself is a blessing. Reacting to anything other than that will give people the fodder that they crave to cross the line. This is why you have to be very private & protective about your life when you’re in the public eye.

    The truth is there’s 400 year (or longer) legacy of divide and conquer tactics that often expresses itself in light skin privilege and there are a lot a black people out here who have been profoundly and deeply hurt by this exclusion. I have bi-racial black colleagues/friends and some of them are aware of this and some aren’t. This topic will always be emotionally charged because there’s a history; plain and simple.

    No. It is not Tamara’s or a biracial person’s job to “own” the hurt of others hurt but it certainly isn’t helpful when people tell those who are hurt to “get over it and themselves.” Not saying that these are Tamara’s words but many people are quite insensitive and dismissive about this subject. The lack of compassion about this is saddening.

    I’m a dark-skinned woman like Tamara’s mother and I married a beautiful and equally loving black man. I love him with all my heart but I’m aware and insightful enough to understand the pain on both sides. This is why guns tend to be drawn on both sides. Why can’t we just validate that racial politics comes with a painful history and start an honest conversation from there?

  • Anon

    Victoria, stay BLESSED. And good on you for maintaining a happy home. I find it hilarious that all of these chicks who are so pressed with IR being presented as an option for BW who never thought it an option before (or were pressured through community and familial coercion to NOT consider it an option) aren’t seeing it as a blessing for THEM. If I was so interested in black love for myself as the only possible option for me, I’d throw a PARADE for so many women removing themselves from the competition. A PARADE!

    Women who normally would be in standing for YOUR possible husband are taking themselves out of the “ride or die” dating pool. That is an upside for women who are ONLY looking for “black love”. In my opinion, these chicks are pressed for other reasons that they’re not ready to address just yet.

    Anywho, let the twins live their lives is all I see. They are two women in marriage, building families, growing careers, and maintaining their ties to each other. What could be more awesome than that?

  • B

    @ Samurai36: I’m not going to waste anymore brain space after this. You are free to do so if you want, though because I don’t care about your thoughts. Anyway… Final word: you want black love, then make it happen and stop telling other black people that they should because it’s their life. Find a black man/woman, get married, or not, and create your own” black love”. You are not God, just another grain of sand. Misery loves company and people with chips on their shoulders are difficult to have reasonable conversations with. Now, on to more intelligent conversations…

  • Wanda

    Gender doesn’t matter. Love who you love.

  • Gina

    I think the question people need to ask here is, if they wish to be in an interracial relationship yet proclaim to be “pro-black”, do they still have any say on black issues?
    Thats the vibe I’m getting on these comments. It’s sad because unfortunately, people won’t assume your in an IR relationship because you LOVE someone genuinely. It’s that your trying to ascend the societal success ladder, get back at the black man/woman, self hate, etc. And while some of these may be true for some, it isn’t for anyone.
    And I think its unfair to say, ‘You aren’t representing black love’.
    Can you help who you fall for?
    Can’t you still be pro black with out having a black partner?
    The answer is different for everyone and thats the problem.
    Personally, I do LOVE seeing successful black men with successful black women. More power to them.I think its great that black kids see that and want that too.
    However, if your teaching your children to accept people no matter their race/color/creed then don’t be surprised if this comes back when your kid dates interracially.
    I find that my generation (young 20 somethings) tend to not care as much for this IR debate. Which I kind of agree with from a hippie stand point.
    However, my ‘pro black’ self really wants to see more black love. But the reality is my bf is white and no, I’m not settling. I don’t see a lot of black guys on campus here. None of them really talk to me or approach me. If they do, they are far above my age to where I don’t feel comfortable. The younger black guys just look past me.
    These are the conundrums we face because for the millennial generation, tbh, black guys in a lot of cases seem to just not want anything to do with black women. Especially, it would seem, educated black males
    It’s not an excuse, its just reality right now.
    People need to think about this stuff generationally, socio economically, logically and most important, realistically.
    Without pointing fingers are making overzealous assumptions.

  • http://twitter.com/Cognorati001 Colette Marcheline (@Cognorati001)

    I am a mutliracial person, and in reality, she and her sister (and I) are perceived as Black. The one drop rule has nothing to do with what I’m saying.

    The reality is that her publicist and she are also aware that the first question in peoples’ minds concerning her child with a White husband is “What will the baby look like?” It’s not appropriate to pander to that by posting a pic for inspection and then lamenting that people are asking the question she KNEW they were going to ask.

    A similar case is Beyonce and her husband. They and their publicist know that people are going to postulate on what the kid looks like because of her husband, so they’re keeping the child out of view. That’s a more appropriate decision because no child should have to deal with that speculation.

  • apple

    isn’t she half white? what the hell

  • Anon

    Hey sweetie, LIVE YOUR LIFE.

    As someone who used to volunteer/mentor/tutor for the BC, I can tell you right now, get in where you fit in and good for you for getting out there and dating while in college. I’m on the older side of your generation and my best advice would be to IGNORE a lot of what 35+ women have to say to you. They are dealing with a different crew of men on the whole and really don’t have any “legs” on the ground in terms of how the dating world works these days. Seriously, unless they have PRACTICAL advice on running a home, marriage, etc… (and are IN ONE), I’d bypass a lot of what they say. Be realistic about where you’re at in life, everyone else is. The competition for a good mate only increases from here on out. And that’s for both women and men.

  • The Moon in the Sky

    What is ‘Black love’? Why is love being racialized?


    To answer your Q’s:

    “can you help who you fall for?”

    The answer is yes, you can. People need to stop treating love as a disease, rather than as a decision.

    Most people CHOOSE not to fall in love with someone that’s broke, or that’s 400lbs overweight. You yourself said that you don’t feel “comfortable” with a man that’s older. So you are a living example that people do choose what they want for themselves as they very well should.

    “Can’t you still be pro black with out having a black partner?”

    IMO, no, you cannot. Part of being “pro-Black”, is being concerned about tue issues that plague our communities, & our race. The fact that Black Love is dying, is at the very epicenter of those issues. Everything else stems from that.

    Therefore, you CANNOT tell me about Black Love, when you are not a living example of it.

    In fact, the very story you told, tells the tale:

    “I don’t see a lot of black guys on campus here. None of them really talk to me or approach me. If they do, they are far above my age to where I don’t feel comfortable. The younger black guys just look past me.”

    All this speaks to, is who you have CHOSEN to surround yourself with. I personally know 100′s of 20-something YO black men, who LOVE them some black women.

    You can’t go to a predominantly white school, & expect to find black love. Thats like me, being a vegetarian, going to Church’s chicken, & being disappointed that there is nothing for me to eat.

    Plus, it sounds like you’ve blamed the few black men that are there for not reaching out to you. Have you reached out to them? Do you attend the student events where the black guys are?

    Far too often women are sitting around blaming their predicaments on men. Women are waiting for love & happiness to just “happen” to them. They are waiting to be rescued like Cinderella.

    Otherwise, it sounds like these few black men are doing the same thing you’ve done, which is give up on black love.

    This is what happens when you go to these predominantly white schools, in search of a “better” education: you end up losing a sense of self, for the sake of fitting in.

    I know, because I went to such a school myself. But the difference between us is, I didn’t give up on black love. When i couldn’t find a suitable black woman to date on campus, guess what i did?

    I went off campus. College doesn’t exist on an island, or a prison, or in a vacuum. It’s no one’s fault but your own, that you’ve CHOSEN the isolation & exclusivity of college life.

    And yes, if you have to explain why you are with a white boy, instead of the black guys “that look past you” then yes, you are settling. You need to come to terms with that.

    As for what I teach children, i don’t have any personally, but my Black Queen does. She teaches them that they are blessed for their blackness. She teaches her son & daughter that they are mighty Black Kings & Queens, & that they deserve no less than a mighty black king & queen.

    This is what true black love is. You are not gonna find it on TV, or on the radio, or in magazines, or in the classroom, or on websites such as this.

    Black Love is not something that’s an automatic given, like white love seems to be. White love is everywhere: it’s in cartoons, in fairy tales, in religion, in romance novels, etc etc.

    Meanwhile, black love is something that must be sought & taught.

    I love black love everyday. What are you living?


    As for what I’m doing to keep black love alive, see my response on page 5 of the comments.

    Trust & believe, I’m doing my part.

    What are you doing to keep Black Love alive, besides saying that it doesn’t exist???

  • http://twitter.com/thehmuc HappilyMixedUp.com (@thehmuc)

    We can never change the fact that there are people with views toward the negative regarding dating/marrying outside of your race. And this comes from all ethnic backgrounds White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, Arab etc. The people who do not like it are selfish in a way that they feel everyone else should think the way they do and that their views are right leaving no room for compromise or understanding. For those who have no problem with it all we can do is smile, offer support when neededand look at the positive side of the situation like how two people are attracted to eachother and managed to take it to the next level.

    I will not lie, yes there are some who marry outside their race to improve their social standing, but it’s a small amount and it happens in every ethnic group, not just blk/wht. People do it for financial reasons etc.
    Anyways, I’m so happy for Tamera Mowry and her beautiful family and only wish them the best life has to offer.
    People just need to get over it !!!!
    Forever Happily Mixed Up!

  • Skye

    I’m just curious are you on black men’s website encouraging black love? If you want black love the best thing to do is go to your brothers that’s the main ones dating out. If you tell black women to go for black love then you continue the high percentage of unmarried black women that doesn’t help.


    You don’t get to be the “final word” or authority on what “intelligent conversation”, especially when you make comments about how people’s breath smells (how can you tell that from the internet??), or something as absurd as “there is no such thing as black love” (so what have all of us in successful black-on-black relationships been experiencing all this time? Are we just imagining it??).

    We are all sharing our opinions, & none have been more retarded & ludicrous as yours have been.

    So why don’t you go learn what it actually means to have an “intelligent conversation” before you go telling others to have one.


    To answer your Q, yes, I am on different sites promoting black love, for men & women.

    I also mentor young men, trying to teach them to respect women, the same way they would want a man to respect their mother, sister, cousin, niece, etc.

    But it’s a FALSEHOOD that black men are “the main ones dating out”.

    Black men AND women both are dating out.

    In fact, aside from the women in the article, I’ve counted 6 black women that have admitted to dating & marrying out.

    I don’t agree with it from either side, & both sides are equally as guilty.

  • Amanda

    I belong to an extremely mixed family unit. My children are half-Latino and I date a wonderful black man. I am white as the driven snow when it comes to my complexion, but I have never been one to focus on race. Personally, I do not find white men attractive. I prefer a nice tanned skin tone and always have- I’ve never even dated a white man in my life- all my boyfriends have been black, latino, asian, something browner than myself. My children draw our family all one color- whichever crayon they happen to pick up. Race is an aqcuired awareness. Kids know that Bobby’s parents don’t speak English and Rosi’s eyes might be slanted and Kayla is pink and Ryan is brown and that’s all they know until we teach them otherwise. I applaud Tamera for being proud of her mixed family and not falling into a trap of feeling bad for not staying within her “race.” I used to catch a lot of flack from friends about “chasing black men” and my boyfriend gets a lot from his family for not being with a “strong black woman” instead of me but it’s about who you love, not what color they are, and as long as you have that love that’s all that matters. One thing I wish is that there was more advice and help for people in IR relationships because it’s not easy. Someone make a website please. I’d love to contribute.

  • Tara

    How you feel does not matter. The train left the station a long time ago.


    “Racialized” is not a word.

    The emphasis of Black Love is on culture, heritage, & community.

    To say there is no such thing as Black Love, is like saying there is no such thing as Black Music, or Black History.

    Black Love is the love, appreciation, & respect black people have for one another.

    It’s about creating an attraction between black men & women, about black parents be better parents for their children, & raising black children to respect their parents & elders…

    It’s about creating a sense of brotherhood amongst black men, teaching them that they are not enemies to each other (the main reason for so much black-on-black violence in our communities).

    Black love is about looking for, & helping to bring out the best in our people, instead of always looking for the worst.

    If you are a black person (are you black??), & don’t know what Black Love is, then I truly feel sorry for you.

  • Camryn

    Wait..does plenty of fish count as online mentoring?


    Because a quick search of your username, only shows Clutch commentary..after a few pages…

  • Tara

    Amen girl. Preach!!!

    More black men for you with less competition.


    @ Tara:

    What are you even talking about? What “train”? What “station”??

    Just because I don’t co-sign to your particular brand of self-hatred, doesn’t mean that “how I feel does not matter”.

    What I feel may not matter TO YOU (rest assured, the feeling is definitely mutual), but the person asked the Q’s, & I exercised my right to answer them.

    I’m not jumping on the anti-Black propaganda bandwagon that you & others here are on.

    So feel free to “thumbs-down” my comments all you want. That doesn’t make them any less true.


    @ Camryn:

    1) You pull up a site I haven’t been on in a year. What’s your point?

    2) So, I have to use the same screen name for every site that I visit? What’s your point?

    3) I have used this user name on other sites, so the fact that those sites don’t come up, once again, what’s your point??

    4) How does what I’m saying onTHIS site bear any relevance to any other site I might be on?

    If I am on 100 sites, or on 1, once again, what’s your point??

  • Skye

    Would you mind telling the black men websites you are on please? I would love to hear the reactions to your responses.

  • Camryn

    The point is..is that you’re not only an asshole, you’re an asshole on a site that caters to women…

    Maybe you should try Single Black Male, Very Smart Brothas…or possibly mainstream sites like Esquire, if that’s you’re thing.

    The commentary you offer is not only off putting but outdated.

    In the most kind way possible, I’m telling you to stfu & take your pseudo-intellectual talk elsewhere.


    @ Slye:

    Perhaps you ate not hearing me, when I say that I AM ON THOSE SITES AS WELL.

    I say the same things there, that I have said here, no difference.

    As for the responses I get, they range from “you are preaching to the choir, brotha”, to Brothas saying that they would love to find a black woman, but most black women they encounter don’t really value them as men. They feel Sistas don’t listen to what they have to say, or take them seriously, & that women base all their future involvements on past experiences, or what the media has told them about black men overall.

    One of the main problems between black men & women, & a major obstacle for Black Love, is that we listen to any & everybody else when it comes to each other, EXCEPT each other.

    Everybody is talking, but nobody is really listening.

    But hey, don’t take my word for it: visit some of these black men websites for yourself. Read & join in on the comments. ASK QUESTIONS, if you really wish to know.

    That’s what I’m doing here.

  • http://clutchmagazine blcknnblvuu

    We got it Tamera you have a fabulous life.your husband is white,you’re a proud mother of a light skinned boy.well good for you.moving on

  • Anon

    JEEZZZUAS Christ.

    I actually have younger black male cousins who are married (yes, married by 24) to black women and even THEY told their younger sisters to get out there b/c most of their MARRIAGE ready friends were NOT dating black women. The.end.

    Last time I checked, black love meant someone black was involved in that loving relationship.

    “This is what happens when you go to these predominantly white schools, in search of a “better” education: you end up losing a sense of self, for the sake of fitting in.”—> I went to a predominately white campus, even tutored and mentored in the surrounding neighborhoods but guess which demographic was NOT there in any numbers to “give back” to the community.

    “When i couldn’t find a suitable black woman to date on campus, guess what i did?

    I went off campus” —> Of course he did. And probably found a whole city full of women who saw a college enrolled brother who was not keeping himself exclusively on campus. Their were probably lots of desirable women to choose from as wives/girlfriends. YOU WON’T HAVE THAT OPTION IN THE USA in the BC. Why he’s up here lying to you and trying to shame your choices is his own game. But… YOU WON’T HAVE HIS OPTIONS, and your best choices as a woman are going to come up before 35 years old, heck before 27-32.

    “black love is something that must be sought & taught. “—> Folks in my family found someone, fell in love, and got married. If you gotta be taught to love your own community, that probably means there wasn’t love there in the first place so MOVE ON.

  • Anon

    Well good for you boo, but since a whole lot of other people focus on race, and white women tend to get a pass for whatever they happen to be doing at the moment, other than congrats to Tamera, I fail to see what your point was.

  • Skye


    Again tell me what are the websites? Give me two that you tell black men about and they agree on black love. I stopped going o black men websites because it was really negative. So, I would love to see different opinions, So show me a link to the sites please

  • Ask_ME

    just want to say it’s GREAT to see black women side-stepping the naysayers and exercising our right to FREEDOM OF CHOICE.

    The emphasis should be placed on finding a good man…regardless of his race.

  • creativeone

    In case you haven’t noticed, most black men nowadays are CHOOSING white women and women of other races, so if you want to talk about black love, talk to the black men, not the black women.

  • Chillyroad

    “In case you haven’t noticed, most black men nowadays are CHOOSING white women and women of other races, so if you want to talk about black love, talk to the black men, not the black women.”

    You must be from that Waiting To exhale generation. Young black women don’t talk like this.

  • http://elephantchronicles-nell.blospot.com Mamba

    YAAASSSSS Samurai36!
    i agree 100%. tell it.
    cuz these folks are confused and boo boo thought she made some sense.

  • Anon
  • http://elephantchronicles-nell.blospot.com Mamba

    race is not an “acquired awareness”. it is something everyone in the world deals with that is not white. and since you are white, that is something YOU have to acquire because you have the privilege of being oblivious to it. race is something non-whites are forced to think about on a daily basis. and if race isn’t something you “focus on” then why haven’t you dated a white man, why don’t you “find them attractive” and why have your friends said you “chase Black men”? apparently you have some conscience concerning race. and it seems to be tokenism.

    and this is why interracial dating, especially with white people is problematic. you have a child that will more and likely appear physically as a person of color and/or Black, will come to have a number of ideas and concepts about race and maybe even prejudices because that’s just how this society is, and they have the unfortunate event of having a white mother who doesn’t think race has anything to do with anything. so, when this child grows up and is called the n-word, or discriminated against for their skin-tone, or is physically assaulted by 8 white police officers while handcuffed and unarmed, or killed because they thought he/she looked suspicious, or refused service at a restaurant because they assumed he/she was Mexcian and thus “illegal”, they will have no capacity to handle these situations because they’ve been raised by such an obliviously ignorant person who’s more focused on holding hands and singing kum-ba-yah than understanding the reality of this society. sad indeed…


    @ Anon:

    I actually have younger black male cousins who are married (yes, married by 24) to black women and even THEY told their younger sisters to get out there b/c most of their MARRIAGE ready friends were NOT dating black women. The.end.”

    That’s YOUR cousins. And those are THEIR friends.

    I have dozens of Brethren (best friends, college buddies, coworkers, workout partners, etc) & with the exception of one or two of them, all of them are married to, dating, or are actively pursuing black women. They range from early-mid 20′s, to mid 40′s. They are African American, Caribbean, & African.

    And we discuss all the time how difficult it is to find a quality Black woman.

    Just because all you & yours happen to know are dudes that don’t check for Black women, doesn’t mean that this represents the rest of the world.

    “Last time I checked, black love meant someone black was involved in that loving relationship.”

    You don’t get to make up an ad hoc definition, to justify what you want it to mean.

    Black Love is one black person actively loving another black person.

    ” I went to a predominately white campus, even tutored and mentored in the surrounding neighborhoods but guess which demographic was NOT there in any numbers to “give back” to the community.”

    What does this have to do with anything I said? Some areas are harder to reach people in, than others. I know the areas & regions to avoid. Don’t you?

    “ Of course he did. And probably found a whole city full of women who saw a college enrolled brother who was not keeping himself exclusively on campus. Their were probably lots of desirable women to choose from as wives/girlfriends. ”

    Why on earth are you making ASS-umptions a out my experiences?? What makes you think I didn’t have a hard time meeting quality women??

    This is yet another media-fueled MYTH: That each & every single Black woman out there is a quality woman, & that they are all seeking a good men.

    I don’t know why you are pretending as if there aren’t an abundance of Black women out there that don’t skip over good men, in favor of the “thugs” or the bad boys. There are plenty of women out here, that jump over the “Do Right Man”, & break their necks chasing after men that have 4 baby mamas, or are scarcely employed, or that live with their mamas, or are “in a situation”.

    There are plenty of women out here, that flat out ignore men who have their act together, in favor of the man they think they can “fix”.

    However, I went to the places that featured the kind of people I liked to be around. I went to the open-mix poetry slams & other black cultural events. That’s where I found women that I could relate to.

    I met my Queen a couple of years ago at the African Festival here in Chicago where i currently live.

    “YOU WON’T HAVE THAT OPTION IN THE USA in the BC. Why he’s up here lying to you and trying to shame your choices is his own game.”

    Do you even live in the Black Community? Have you visited EVERY BC in the USA? Otherwise, your statement sounds asinine. Good, eligible Black Men who are seeking the same in Black women are all over the place. Especially in the major cities.
    It’s sad that a black person would spread such hopelessness to another black person. It’s this sort of Nigga-tivity that keeps us in a state of self hatred. You are doing our oppressor’s work for him.

    “But… YOU WON’T HAVE HIS OPTIONS, and your best choices as a woman are going to come up before 35 years old, heck before 27-32. ”

    Well, she seemed to cut herself off, when it comes to age.

    Ever since I was in my late teens, I’ve always pursued women that were at least 5 years older than me. Women age never seem to share or appreciate my values, or outlook on life. I am 40 now, & my Queen is 45. My father (RIP) was 13 years younger than my mother (RIP). If you are, say23, I don’t see anything wrong with dating some a few years older than you. I could see of it were someone old enough to be her daddy.

    “black love is something that must be sought & taught. “—> Folks in my family found someone, fell in love, and got married. If you gotta be taught to love your own community, that probably means there wasn’t love there in the first place so MOVE ON”

    Of course people have to be taught. You said that you mentored people. Why bother, if the goal wasn’t to teach them, & show them a better way? Maybe if our community had more positive role models & mentors, then perhaps there would be more Black Love.

    I have mentored 2 young black men into adulthood. Both of them came from rough beginnings. One is on his way to getting his Masters, & the other is in the process of starting his own business. Both of them are involved with Black women; one is engaged, & the other is in a LTR, & has a baby on the way.

    This is what Black Love looks like. But you wouldn’t know anything a out that, because you have given up on your people, & are trying to convince others to do the same.


    @ Skye:

    I would highly recommend the African American Forum on Topix.com, BlackLoveforum.com, & Destee.com.

    I haven’t been on that last one in a long time, but it was definitely a positive atmosphereshen I was there.

    As for the other sites, the topics can definitely get heated, but you just have to stand your ground, & ask questions, same as I do on here. Black folks, as I’m sure you know, tend to be a very passionate people, especially as it pertains to these topics. :-)

  • Skye

    @Anon Lol

  • alldawg

    thumbs up..

  • Vanderboom
  • WhatIThink

    What does being successful have to do with dating? Are you seriously saying that dating out of your race is the “standard” by which black success should be measured?

    Catch a clue please!

    What I am saying is that black success should be measured by the ability of black people to move ahead and attain their goals AS A PEOPLE. Not as mulattoes, not as gays, not as christians, not as muslims and not as any of the other millions of identities black folks have been fractured into.

    The point is that we should uphold and focus on ALL aspects of blackness and especially black success among black couples and stop focusing on the nonsense that idiots do in hollywierd as our identity. Those clowns in hollywood have always been seeking love in the arms of white folks and have NEVER done anything to help or address racial oppression or other issues of “their people”. Because if they did they would never have performed as entertainers at white racist clubs and entertainment arenas. But they did and they are PROUD of it. Now how stupid and backwards is that? So before you claim to want to pretend this is about “hating” somebody, why don’t you check the history of blacks “hating” themselves by not standing up for themselves in order to get ahead?

    That is my problem with this obsession on interracial dating. It is there. It has always been there and it has NEVER done anything to address the issues of black people as a whole so we need to stop focusing on it and focus on ACTUAL black issues. If some black folks don’t want to propagate their own race of people then so be it. Don’t focus on them and stop pretending that these folks or their babies are somehow the “standard” of black progress because they aren’t.

  • WhatIThink

    I don’t see why folks are so worried about the Mowry twins as if those two women and their families are the “core” of black identity. They aren’t. They have the right to live their lives as they want and love who they want and identify how they want. But we as black people also have the right to identify as black as well. If some people don’t feel that way then fine. Go away and let black people love themselves and work towards building something for black folks..

    It is silly how websites like this focus on entertainers considering the history of colorism in entertainment and the overt racism:

  • http://Clutch SL


    1000+ thumbs up – you hang in there! Giving them a good run – lol

  • http://Clutch SL

    @Amanda – sorry sistah you will find little love on this site because women like you – you’re a big part of the problem – however feel free to send your white men this way -LMAO

  • Gigi

    @ Moon…: I’m not sure what you mean (and I don’t want to misunderstand you’re point), elaborate please?

  • Beth

    Tamera is biracial which is the thing that people are forgetting. I had a feeling that her baby was going to be very light, not just cause of her husband but of Tamera’s DNA itself. The baby looks like his dad. Her sister Tia’s son Cree looks just like her own husband as well, but her son is light-skinned like the sisters are. The point that I am trying to make with this is that the children that they will have will indeed look similar to that of their fathers, no matter the race or ethnicity. Anyways Tamera is not the only celebrity to have a quote on quote “white baby”. Are we forgetting Robin Thicke’s wife Paula Patton? Their son is extremely light skinned, with blond hair and blue eyes. She is like the sisters also biracial, and hasn’t gotten any backlash about that. There are also a number of other celebrities (Halle Berry) that I can’t think of at the top of my head who have married someone of the other race and had children who were fair skinned. So people just give it a rest and put your insults toward someone more deserving, hence like Kim Kardashian.

  • Anon

    ” Black men have to hide their mates for fear of upsetting black women?” Apparently so if you want our money. And about DAYUM TIME that our opinions mattered in this kind of thing. However, I’d rather know up front if you date out. I don’t care if you do on a personal level, but if you’re trying to pimp black women for cash, a come up, or a movie career, then come correct on who you choose in your life instead of hiding them like a dirty secret. BTW, you act as if the man is OWED my dollars.

    PR is a career for a reason. His team handled that one wrong. I’m sure that if Ealy had been upfront about his relationship/marriage, there wouldn’t have been a backlash. Unlike a WHOLE other lot of black male entertainers, I’m unaware where he bashed black women in public to uplift women of other races. Looks like he found his mate, and she simply wasn’t black. The fact that he HID THAT MESS while promoting the one mainstream black rom com in who knows when is shady as the day is long.

  • WhatIThink

    The point being that if these entertainment folks were so progressive and conscious they would not have allowed themselves to be used to put out such negative propaganda. But they didn’t. They were proud to be used in such a negative and derogatory way. And this is exactly the kind of “negro” that white folks loved. These clowns have never ever done anything but pay lip service to black folks and black issues and would gladly sell black folks down the river for attention and money from white folks.

  • Medusa

    Mm… I live in the UK now and I lived in the US before. As a black person is neither American nor British, I find them both to be racist, but I felt far more disrespected all the time in the US than I ever do here. It is, however, completely untrue to say that “everybody” is mixed race. Interracial couples may be more common, but like KissofDanger said interracial sex does not equal no racism.

  • loveandchai


    As a twenty something who has been in the same position… you can completely be pro Black and date a White guy. Honesty, there are some White guys that do “get it” and are more pro Black than some Black guys that I’ve met. My ex worked for the Obama campaign and gave it everything he had because Obamas election meant so much to him.

    We live in a world now where ideologies don’t always line up with skin color. I understand what you’re saying about the Black family. I used to imagine being the Huxtables having a little chocolate girl with natural hair in side puffs and a little boy with a Theo fade but you don’t need to sacrifice your own happiness waiting around for something that you “think” you want or need. No married couple of any race will tell you they were what each other dreamed of or planned for. Love is funny like that. Don’t sacrifice your personal life and happiness because you think it will better other people down the line…thats what makes for bitter people if things don’t work out as planned.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jewellthief Farringtonsmyname Jewellthief

    well said….

  • http://www.facebook.com/jewellthief Farringtonsmyname Jewellthief

    LOL at the Kim KarCA$Hian comment….actually, I don’t think Halle married her baby daddy, but she married both black men (David Jusice, Eric Benay)…..

  • http://www.facebook.com/jewellthief Farringtonsmyname Jewellthief

    say that shyt again….

  • http://www.facebook.com/jewellthief Farringtonsmyname Jewellthief

    “Why can’t we just validate that racial politics comes with a painful history and start an honest conversation from there?”

    because, sadly, people don’t want to be honest….

  • Sunshine

    Tamara is a product of an interracial relationship herself. Her mother is black and her father is caucasian. Her perspective on love and relationships is broader. People shouldn’t date or court other people simply because they are the same race. She has also publicly professed her faith in God as a Christian woman and therefore may have a more evolved attitude about love that transcends race.
    Her husband is a white man loving a black woman, isn’t that a form of black love on his part?


    @ Sunshine:

    Having Christian values doesn’t equate to being evolved. There are alot of ideals in Christianity & the Bible, that I find quite hypocritical, especially as it pertains to love.

    As far as your”definition” goes, once again l, it is an ad-hoc one.

    Black Love is one Black Person loving another Black person.

    A white boy loving a black woman is not Black Love. It’s merely IR love. Some would call it a fetish.

    I swear, some of the folks on here really need to learn what Black Love is, rather than trying to make it into something that it’s not.

  • Mamba

    i’d like to know exactly what this “it” there is to get you’re referring to. if it is anti-racism and an understanding of race relations enough to not fetishize Black women and be comfortable enough to date interracially, then clearly YOU don’t even “get it” if you think supporting a political candidate means a white person “gets it”. as if every white person that supports Obama is Tim Wise. we both know that isn’t reality. and if that’s what “pro-Black” is to you (supporting a political candidate who isn’t even “pro-Black”) then again, YOU clearly (and sadly) do not “get it”.



  • The Moon in the Sky

    “She has also publicly professed her faith in God as a Christian woman and therefore may have a more evolved attitude about love that transcends race.”

    Bwuahahahahhahahha. This is the funniest joke I have heard all day.

  • victoria

    Thanks. I wish you well.

  • Ms. Vee

    Good grief people are so painfully ignorant with the very basics of biology. Tamera is a biracial (mulatto) woman that had a baby with a white man. Therefore, with the child being 75% caucasian (aka white) why are people acting so surprised that the child looks white? C’mon now. That child is no different in racial makeup to Paula Patton’s child. Even though I’m a strong proponent of black love I’m not against those that have found love outside of their race. Tamera did not technically marry outside of the black race, she just so happened to marry a man that might remind her of her father. If she’s happy then she’s happy. Leave her be.

  • alldawg

    yep i agree…

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 ravsmith78

    race isn’t a matter of biology. It’s a social construct with a pseudo-scientific coating.

  • Ms. Vee

    Social construct or not. Genetics determine your phenotype.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 ravsmith78

    To an extent, but that’s not what we are talking about. Race isn’t phenotype. The ways in which we generalize and categorize people based on our perceptions of phenotype are not founded on any real biological taxonomy. Ideas of percentage race are not rooted in science. Terms like mulatto do not have any legitimacy in biology.

  • WhatIThink

    I don’t hate people who decide to date outside of the black population. What I hate is people who try to tell other black folks that this is the same as a black on black relationship and that this is still being black. No it is not. How many of these children identify as black? And why should they? So why are these clowns trying to push this B.S. that these kids are somehow still black? Seriously? And why do we accept that? Lets call it like it is. If Tia or Tamara cared about being black they would not have married white men. But obviously they did not. That says everything right there. So stop trying to spin this and pretend they are still PROUD of being black. Just like someone else said, they are biracial, which is the whole problem, they are as equally and rightfully proud and identify with whites as they do black, which means they do not identify 100% as black people. That is precisely issue here.

    There is only ONE way to propagate black people and that is for black people to make babies. No amount of crying and moaning and claiming reverse racism will change that. If that isn’t a priority for you and you don’t feel concern about it, then fine. Stop trying to stay in the black camp while showing everyone that you are not in that camp by your actions. These people want us to support them as black but show by their actions that they only want hat support from us because they don’t get it from whites. Would Tia and Tamara have been as popular outside of the black sitcoms they became famous for? Possibly, but they knew full well that in their careers the black option was always available. And idiot black folks believe that they are “like us” and “down” with the black cause. Please. Leave these people be and stop propping them up as something more than they are. They are not in the black camp and this goes for the blackest entertainers not just those who are of mixed ancestry. Most of these clowns are no more identify with black people or building a legacy for black people than a man on the moon. And this is why almost 80 years after the cotton club, black people still get treated like second class citizens in an entertainment industry which in many ways was built off the creativity of black people.

    And for those people who refuse to understand that many of these actors “cross over” because they feel they will be better off need to read the biography of Lena Horne.

  • Ms. Vee

    @ravsmith78 While its true that racial terms such as mulatto, black, asian etc have no validity in biology, one cannot deny the obvious physical differences between these groups. Social perceptions are scientifically irrelevant but to deny that genetics are mainly responsible for the obvious physical differences/similarities between people is silly. Now in reference to this article, it doesn’t scientifically matter if people consider Tamera’s child white or not. I was just pointing out that people should stop acting surprised that a child, that carries majority European lineage, has a caucasian phenotype.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 ravsmith78

    No, it’s not silly. Counter-intuitive to those that don’t understand that race doesn’t exist in any biological sense, but not silly. That’s why there is no consistent wide-spread definition of races. The concept of white and black is constantly changing and varies depending on what region of the world you are in. If it were actually rooted in genetic fact or determinism, then we would have some consistent taxonomy of race like we do for every other form of life. Phenotype is not fully due to genetics and there is far too much phenotype variation to generalize to large races. Environment is as much a driver in any noticeable differences/similarities between people.

    The truth is, there is no particular phenotype that is common to all the members of any “race.” There is a ton of variation along every imaginable characteristic. The most symbolic characteristic of being black (skin color) is something that is not anywhere close to consistent throughout the population of those called black. We encompass nearly every shade a person can possibly be. This would have to be the case, given every race of people came from black people.

    If social perceptions are scientifically irrelevant, then so is race, because race is defined by social perceptions. To try to further your idiosyncratic view of race mixing and inconsistent assertions of percentages of a race by misappropriating terms like genetic and phenotype is silly.

    I agree that people should stop acting surprised though. Just not for the “genetic” reasons you suggest. The amount of genetic difference that separates us all is minuscule at best.

    “One of the important implications of Jablonski and Chaplin’s work is that it underlines the concept of race as purely a social construct, with no scientific grounds. DNA research has shown that genetically all humans, regardless of skin color and other surface distinctions, are basically the same.”


  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 ravsmith78
  • http://gravatar.com/mgaby Margaret

    I just want to say. Tamara is half white herself. Her husband’s white. So that makes her baby 1/4 white. No matter how hard you try to say “she’s black”. Her genes are not.

  • Nila

    OMG! I am so over this topic!! HOW MANY TIMES are we going to address this. Everyone has their own views when it comes to the subject of race. We are NOT going to convert people into thinking the way we think. Just ignore and move on. I know this site is the perfect playground for this kind of stuff. But it really gets exhausting…

  • LaTosha Scott

    I am seriously in shock and disbelief that this is even a topic worth having to discuss. I commend you, Tamera, for even taking the time out to address it. It’s one thing to talk about her; yes, she has made the decision to put her personal life on television. But to make a comment on her child is out of line. If her son came out purple, her job is to love, cherish and train him in the ways of God. The color of her skin, her husband’s skin and her child’s skin is irrelevant. When she has to cross the bridge to explain things to him, we should only pray that she has the wisdom and courage to do so with eloquence. Until then, her mind and heart should be on loving her son. Not addressing ignorance.


    Man, beat it with all that “no race” nonsense. You have fun with that.

    I myself belong to a mighty and powerful race. I don’t know what you belong to.

    Keep quoting those white “scientists” all you want.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    Sam, that’s the second time in 10 minutes that you have completely misunderstood something I wrote. I didn’t say there was “no race.” usually when people use quotations, they use them to quote something a person actually says. I know my posts can get somewhat technical or even a tad bit dense, but you really should just ask for clarification if something isn’t making sense.

    For the record, clearly race does exist and it does matter. I’m a black man and proud of it. I doubt you know of too many people that revel in their blackness as much as I do. It’s actually laughable that you would mischaracterize me as some sort of post-racial, rose-colored glasses types, when I’m usually compared to a live action Huey from the Boondocks. You really should start reading more carefully.


    @ Ravi:

    I may have misunderstood your previous point, but not this one.

    You said:

    “If social perceptions are scientifically irrelevant, then so is race, because race is defined by social perceptions.”

    And a host of other similar things.

    You then quote a bunch of white “scholars”. Race is now, what it has been in ancient times: What people see with their own eyes. We don’t need to know or understand the intricacies of genetics, biology, etc to know and understand race.

    If you are Huey as you say, then all the minutiae you’ve added is completely irrelevant.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    yeah, you misunderstood that too. smh. As to the quote:

    “If social perceptions are scientifically irrelevant, then so is race, because race is defined by social perceptions.”

    1. it’s a conditional statement. I never asserted that social perceptions were scientifically irrelevant. I’m asserting as fact that social perception define race. So IF (the key word in this sentence is “IF”) social perceptions are scientifically irrelevant then so is race, because race is social perceptions. I’m truthfully not maintaining that race or social perceptions are scientifically irrelevant. I’m arguing that they are biologically and genetically irrelevant. Sociology and anthropology are sciences.

    2. Scientifically irrelevant doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. it just means it isn’t relevant to science. You confused my speaking of being irrelevant to science (or more accurately genetics) to mean that I am asserting that there is “no race.” That is something I’ve never in my life even pretended to argue.

    “Race is now, what it has been in ancient times: What people see with their own eyes.”

    Which is EXACTLY my point. Race is based on what people see, NOT the truth of biology or genetics. LOL. You aren’t refuting my argument, you are paraphrasing it. If you weren’t so convinced of your need to be contrary, you would likely see that I’m not arguing against what you are saying.

    When someone explicitly tells you that they are not arguing something, that should be enough to clear up any misunderstanding. Insisting that I’m saying something I’m not takes what should have been an innocent misunderstanding to a case of intentional, malicious ignorance.

    Just because you didn’t understand what I was saying doesn’t mean it’s irrelevant.


    That’s not true. Black men get attacked all the time for doing this. Haven’t you been reading the comments on here?

  • Miss Divine

    Let’s see…she’s has a career, is MARRIED and had the baby for HER HUSBAND…yeah…that’s everything it takes to set my people off. If she had no education, no occupation and the baby or two, nobody would have anything to say.

  • MySister’sKeeper

    You guys feed off the drama. Clearly we need more black employment.


    I know you *think* you’re being relevant with all the extra scientific jargon here, but it only ends up coming off as pedantic. When 99% of the human population talks about race, it’s strictly based on what their eyes tell them, nothing more.

    Thus, the info you supplied becomes totally irrelevant to discussions such as these.

  • Kay

    You know this kind of ignorance astounds me. Who cares who anyone marries or has children with? As long as she’s not going around bashing people and carrying on some sort of hateful diatribe, who cares??? And people who are saying anything about how her children look need a basic genetics class. Most people can look like anything, as genetics can skip entire generations and phenotypical characteristics can lay dormant for many, many years before showing up. Case in point, I have a childhood friend who can literally pass for White. She had straight red hair, pale skin with freckles and looked completely different from her sisters and brothers who were all brown skinned. It caused such a rift in her family, with people calling her “White girl,” and thinking her mother cheated. Her father’s family even disowned her. Then a few years ago, DNA testing proved that she was the biological child of both her Black mother AND her Black father.

    They were all shocked to say the least, but hey, anything can happen, and in Tamera Mowry’s case, who herself is mixed, it doesn’t surprise me at all that her children would look different from her. *shrugs* Folks need to get a damn clue.

  • CCN

    IMO – people should think less about race, and more about blood quantum. Race is arbitrary, superficial and nearly meaningless in a forever changing social and cultural kaleidoscope. The Mowry’s are already of mixed race ancestry, the other twin married a browner skinned man who, despite having a look that most blacks would see a ‘black’, is also of mixed race ancestry. I’ve read that he also identified as mixed race, and you just can’t hold someone who goes back-and-forth between race identities like that accountable to being totally invested in blackness are ‘hypo-descent’. You can’t expect much from them on that matter, they will claim whatever, whenever convenient or beneficial.

    That’s part of the problem when black culture/identity is so free to embrace people, loosely, as their own. But it’s just systematic of the entire system of racial classification – it’s just irrelevant – what it implies is irrelevant to what is truly important.

  • Kay

    I used to want to go into biotechnology for about a year or two during undergrad and Ravi’s right. There IS a distinct difference in biological circles between the socially constructed definitions of race (which are fluid) and the biologically constructed definitions of race (which are not). In biology, distinct races or groups of living things differ from each other on a basic, genetic level. That means that Black bears in Canada are somewhat distinct genetically from Polar bears. They may share the same phylum, the same family and genus but differ on some kind of genetic level. With humans, we LOOK different from each other. This can’t be contested. We can look at each other and see that we do. However, if you look at a blood droplet on a slide you couldn’t really tell one person’s “race,” from another, though you could try to look at certain genetic markers and deduce someone’s geographical ancestry, though even this isn’t an exact science.

    Bottom line is, we don’t differ that much that it matters. WE make it matter. We can all be infected with the same diseases, and no matter what corner of the globe we come from we can all reproduce viable offspring with one another, which in biology is the biggest marker of what makes a species or group. As a species, we have just decided that judging one another based on arbitrary differences is a better bet than looking at how we are the same on a basic genetic level.

  • CCN

    *correction: But that’s just symptomatic of the entire system of racial classification…

    So, what is truly important?

    In Tamera’s case, family, regardless of racial makeup and physical characteristics.

    To many others, the continued prominent procreation of a certain aspect of our physical/genetic traits, is what is important…that populations of those who have them are driven to extinction, by whatever means, or endangerment.

    The purpose of race classification wasn’t to keep families, identities, cultures or genetic lineages intact…not when it comes to non-Anglo Saxon Caucasian/European peoples. Race classification has worked to bastardize those aspects of humanity. It invites adversity from every possible angle.

    Therefore, IMO, people need to stop placing great importance on race. If you care that brown/dark skinned people are procreated, make sure you procreate as such, and do work in your community to encourage, benefit, dark/brown skinned peoples; and to perpetuate pride, admiration, appreciation, respect in/of the brown/dark, Black, African, etc…aesthetic.

    Attacking someone like Mowry about that issue is useless, and will only serve as free publicity for her.

  • Ms. Vee

    Thank you for clarifying with your valid points. I initially misinterpreted your original statement and will read the link you’ve posted. Good Day :)

  • Nafeisa

    Such a beautiful baby and Mommy. May God bless them with love forever in their hearts and a gentle/caring spirit.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    “I know you *think* you’re being relevant with all the extra scientific jargon here, but it only ends up coming off as pedantic. When 99% of the human population talks about race, it’s strictly based on what their eyes tell them, nothing more.”

    Um, you do know that I agree with that last sentence. Do you really not understand that all that “scientific jargon” (really just plain English that any layperson should be able to understand if they read carefully) is actually supporting the assertion? Again, you aren’t refuting anything I’ve said, you are paraphrasing.

    Me: I think that man is 1.83m tall
    Sam: No he isn’t, he’s 6 feet tall
    Me: you do know that 1.83m is 6 feet?
    Sam: STFU with all that science and technobabble. all that meters stuff is irrelevant.
    Me: ok, Sam. whatever you say…


    @ Ravi:

    You’re not being as clear an concise as you seem to think you are being. otherwise, if you haven’t noticed, I wasn’t the only person here that didn’t quite ascertain your meaning.

    So perhaps the issue is you, and not us.

  • http://gravatar.com/templet00 tymetravelife

    Thank you for this ravsmith78. Very intelligent & informative.


    @ CCN:

    Yeah, good luck with that. Race, culture and heritage means everything, especially when that is the basis for the global destruction of black people.

  • Madam Sapphire

    Just look at that beautiful newborn face. My heart just melts. How can anyone criticize this beautiful family? I could just hug and smooch that little “lumkins” all day and night. So, So, So cute and precious.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi


    It is quite possibly the case that I am to blame. But in case you haven’t notice, only one other person misunderstood what I said and she took ownership of it by saying she misinterpreted what I originally said. You are the only one maintaining that my original statement was somehow cryptic or hard to understand. And if you also hadn’t noticed, several other people seem to agree with what I’ve been saying, so why didn’t they have difficulties understanding me if it was my fault? Additionally, you admit to misinterpreting what I stated on the other thread. So what’s more reasonable, that you, who have already admitted to misreading one of my different comments, also misread this one, or that I’m somehow being unclear despite everyone but you and seems to be able to understand my comments. But I digress. I’ll take ownership of any miscommunication stemming from my original post.

    But what’s the excuse for the subsequent messages where I quite clearly and explicitly stated that I don’t disagree with you. It took you a few additional messages to recognize that I wasn’t disagreeing with the things you were saying. In my first reply to your message I said

    “For the record, clearly race does exist and it does matter,”

    so it doesn’t make any sense to continue to argue that I’m trying to claim that race is irrelevant or that there is no race. You can claim I wasn’t clear on the first message, but I was very clear from that point forward. Any other message where you were insisting that I was saying race was irrelevant was on you for not reading what I said.

    But all of this is moot. All you had to do was ask for clarification in the first place. Your first post could have easily been “are you saying there is no race?” But you were already in combative mode, looking for a disagreement where there was none.

  • http://gravatar.com/jaebee81 JaeBee

    Huh? If Tamara is 50% white and her husband is 100% white wouldn’t that make her child 75% white (i.e. 3/4 white)?!

    On another note…genes are genes. They are not races. How can one’s genes be either a specific or a mixture of races?

  • WhatIThink

    I don’t hate biracial or people of mixed ethnicity. But I do hate people who try and convince everyone that folks who 1) don’t associate with blacks 2) choose not to marry and have babies with blacks are somehow “black” and must be accepted as “black” even though their actions say plainly otherwise. That is the point with people of mixed heritage. They can go either way and have every right to do so as the actions of their parents aren’t their fault. But at some point they have to make a choice just like all other people have to make a choice in terms of who they lay down with to create a legacy. And that is all that matters. Stop trying to call them black, when they don’t want to be black, because to do so would be an insult them and their choices. Are their white spouses now black? Of course not. That is the point. If people want to be free to marry who they want, then fine they are not concerned about being black and we should just call it like it is instead of trying to pretend that someone is hating by stating the obvious. Stop trying to make these people into something they aren’t. They aren’t black people who identify as black and want to propagate a black legacy. That is just calling it like it is and is not hate in any sense of the word. But some clowns want o preach this B.S. that having non black babies and multiple generations of not black intermarriage still qualifies someone as black. Please stop this foolishness.

  • Justine

    What a ridiculous thing to say! It doesn’t matter what race you are — you need to see past color! Heritage is what you make of life within your immediate family. We need to accept and love each other. Obviously, your feelings are more deep rooted and personal and so perhaps you should mind your own and let others live their lives. I’m white and come from a white/european background and I can tell you that color or no color – the members of my family have a ton of issues! The members of my family cannot resolve their own issues so the thought of hearing comments from them passing judgement makes my skin crawl. So, let thou who has no sin cast the first stone. It will never be my friend so stop judging and start loving.


    Wow, listen to this ridiculous nonsense…

    “Heritage is your family….”

    There are some lost, mindless Need-Growths in this world.


    @ Ravi:
    “It is quite possibly the case that I am to blame. But…..”

    Everything both before & after “But” contradicts each other. The statement before the “but” sounds like a half-attempt to take ownership for the part you have played in this misunderstanding. The statement(s) after “but” sound like you want me to eat the ownership.
    Please decide which is prefered; you’re not gonna get both here. My ownership is not contingent upon your, nor vice versa.
    And that is the crux of my issue with what yu have expressed here.
    Nobody asks for clarification, when they are/were certain they understood what is/was being said to them. Unlike the other discussion, where i admit to doing too many things at once, & missing a crucial word in your statement, i do understand what has been said here. I have read your statements more than once, just to make sure it did.
    I get it: you are quite learned, & as a result, very verbose. Nothing wrong with that, as am I. HOWEVER, as with all things, there is a time & place for it.
    If there are people here that have learned from what you have stated here, then good for them. And that’s not to say that there is nothing to be learned from you. I personally, don’t agree with your initial statements & assertions about race, nor do i agree with the historians/scientists/scholars that you quoted, & quoted either do some other scholars. But, I totally realize that a discussion/debate on that topic would prove quite interesting– SOMEWHERE ELSE.
    In case you haven’t taken noticed, you are on a women’s site, where the topics d’jour consist of hairstyles, & what dress Beyonce wore to the Grammy’s, & other trite subjects.
    Not to say that there is no one here that can appreciate what you present in the way that you present it, but look at the bulk of the responses people are leaving here.

    Regarding your “measurements” example, here’s why that fails:

    I’m going to assume that you live in America, where the metric system is barely used. Of course *I* know that 3.3m equals 6 feet, by why would you make the assumption that most other Americans do as well? Especially of you yourself knew the conversion, wouldn’t it be so much simpler to say 6ft??

    I wouldn’t go to the UK using feet & inches for measurements; to do so would only make ME look crazy.

    There is a word for what you are doing here; it’s called being PEDANTIC. Adding massive amounts of minutiae that is not germane to a topic being discussed, as it is being discussed, only makes it seem as though you have either too much to add, or nothing at all.

    I speak from experience with this.

  • chinaza

    I would just have ignored the critics because this entire “issue” is stupid.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    Your analysis of how I used the word “but” and what it means is as incorrect as your metric conversion. 3.3m does not equal 6ft, and you missed the entire point of my little analogy. The point was that you tried to refute my argument while essentially restating it in simpler words. The fact that you completely missed the point again is what makes you look crazy.

    As far as me taking ownership of your inability to comprehend well written English — I wasn’t. I was just trying to be nice, so you could save some face and end the utter embarrassment that has been your constant mischaracterization of everything I was saying. Everything I have stated has been quite clear from the beginning. I haven’t used massive amounts of minutiae, you just haven’t understood the words I’ve used to any real degree, so you dismissed what I was saying as irrelevant or extraneous. The shortcoming was completely your own and it doesn’t seem tons of people had too many issues understanding what I wrote.

    If you were certain of what I wrote and you still ended up being massively wrong, then that speaks volumes of your reading comprehension skills. Maybe if you find yourself in a similar position, you should find someone with a little better grasp on the English language to explain it to you carefully, so as to not end up looking like a complete moron for disagreeing with someone that doesn’t disagree with you.

    There is a phrase that describes those that have these types of difficulties with their reading. It’s called FUNCTIONAL ILLITERACY. Learn how to read a little more carefully in the future, or else you will once again open yourself up for more ridicule at the hands of those that can read and write English well. (And those that know how many feet are in a meter.)


    ^^^ for your metric system problems


    ^^^ this might help with your comprehension issues


    ^^^^ what it feels like trying to talk to this guy


    @ Ravi:

    I debated on whether I should bother even responding to you little pedantic rants. I quite obviously decided to do so, because I’ve come to not suffer the presence of, as Malcolm once put it, “[21st] century handkerchief head, intellectual Negroes”.

    “Your analysis of how I used the word “but” and what it means is as incorrect as your metric conversion. 3.3m does not equal 6ft, and you missed the entire point of my little analogy.”

    For someone that like to throw around admonishments of “FUNCTIONAL LITERACY” & reading comprehension, you are surely lacking in your share of it.

    Perhaps your reading comprehension only extends to the thing that YOU write?
    I know what the conversion is, because A) you’d already given it, & B) I have a conversion app on the device I’m responding to you on.

    Otherwise, you would have noticed that I wasn’t trying to give an accurate measurement of conversion. I did that on purpose, simply to prove my point, which you totally talked over, in favor of giving greater value to your own point.

    You’d have known that, if you’d taken noticed to how I made it a point to emphasize “*know*” in my statement.

    So busy trying to pedantically prove how verbose you are, that you miss the subtle nuances of language.

    How unfortunate for you.

    “The point was that you tried to refute my argument while essentially restating it in simpler words. The fact that you completely missed the point again is what makes you look crazy. ”

    No, I got your point from the start. The fact that you ASS-ume that I didn’t get it, only makes you look crazy, not me.

    “As far as me taking ownership of your inability to comprehend well written English — I wasn’t. I was just trying to be nice, so you could save some face and end the utter embarrassment that has been your constant mischaracterization of everything I was saying. ”

    So then, you weren’t being “nice”, you were being a condescending fassy. And a dishonest one at that.

    Good to know, for future reference.

    “Everything I have stated has been quite clear from the beginning. I haven’t used massive amounts of minutiae, you just haven’t understood the words I’ve used to any real degree, so you dismissed what I was saying as irrelevant or extraneous. The shortcoming was completely your own and it doesn’t seem tons of people had too many issues understanding what I wrote. ”

    The fact that you cannot recognize that you not only were using massive amount of minutiae, but are STILL using massive amounts of minutiae right now, only continues to prove my point, & hurt yours.

    I challenge you to try saying more with less. I’m sure your pseudo intellectual milkshake brings all the boys to your yard, but I’m not really impressed.

    I dare you to dedicate this much mental prowess to the actual topic, instead of straw-manning your way thru a pointless cockstrut regarding conversions–which, btw, is the very definition of minutiae.

    But hey, you go ahead & have fun with that, in ways that only you can

  • MM

    FACTS: The Mowry Twins are half Black and half White. If you watch the show they have mentioned that they identify themselves as Black Women, however appreciating and loving their fathers culture as well. Tamara is just being a mom who is concerned for her sons well being because she went through the same thing growing up. They don’t have to apologize for being born, complexion, choices in love, etc. The only reason she even bought up the issues of race is because other people did. SO WHAT!

  • http://yahoo Marla

    This is such an ignorant post! What in the world! Word of advice, stop being jealous of other people and stop the hate! It is nobody’s business who someone chooses to date. If you find a problem with other people’s dating choices then you are the one with the problem, so get yourself some counseling and get a life! Better yet, get over it! Tamera has a beautiful baby!

  • cupcakes and shiraz

    I’ve gotta agree with what everyone said on here. It’s none of anyone’s business who a person marries and people need to focus on their own love lives rather than another’s.

    That said- I do think that the Mowry twins tend to take the petty internet banter a bit too deeply. If memory serves me, people had nasty things to say about Tia’s baby as well, and she was just as upset. It’s unfortunate, but social media is filled with vicious, sad people with nothing better to do. The Mowry twins should just ignore these insignificant fools.

  • Deborah Dessaso

    I wonder if all of those who are hatin’/criticizin’/etc. on Tia are just as critical about Kim and Kanye and all of those other celebrities couples where he’s black and she’s white…

  • chnyere

    Her dad is white!! meaning she is half white!! what is wrong with this country??!

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    Um, Sam, you know you responded to the wrong message. I feel bad about even continuing this with you. It’s like making fun of a mentally challenged goat.

    As to your “argument” what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on this website is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

    Don’t feel bad Sam, all the laughter you hear after every sentence you utter, they are laughing with you, not at you.

    Brief enough for you?

    please go here first before trying to respond:



    Why do people continue to ask this same dumb ass question, that’s been answered a dozen times already??

    The answer is yes, we are just as critical of Clown-Ye West, as we are of the T twins.

    There is no double standard here. I don’t know why people (women especially) wanna act as if there is one.

    If someone were to write an article about Clown-Ye’s silly ass, I would be blasting his ass too.

    But why are people tripping, because other people have an opinion?? So the T twins can post their opinions, but we can’t post ours?

    It’s not like people are sending death threats people to her or her baby, we are commenting on our views about IR’s, which, last I checked, we all have the right to do.

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