What’s Your Worst Valentine’s Day Gift?

by Yesha Callahan

Dead CupidI’m sure most people are familiar with the saying, “don’t look a gift horse in the mouth”.  Basically, be grateful for the gift you’ve received, smile and hide your disappointment. Well maybe it doesn’t exactly mean hide your disappointment, but we’ve all been there.

I don’t make a habit out of giving gifts on Valentine’s Day or any holiday where gift giving is involved. Unless you’re a kid, chances are, you’re probably not going to be on the receiving end of a gift. Unfortunately, I have been on the receiving end of some pretty atrocious Valentine’s Day gifts, from the same person as a matter of fact.

I’m not sure why he thought it would be a great idea to give me a kitten as a gift.  At first I thought it was a gag gift, being that I’ve told them countless times a) I find cats creepy b) I’m allergic. Imagine the shock on my face, and subsequent hives, after opening up a box and seeing a squirmy kitten.  Immediately I started sneezing, that’s when it dawned on him, “Oh shit, I forgot you were allergic”. “Please just give me my epi-pen please”, was the only thing I could say. I actually wanted to ask, “Negro, are you trying to kill me?”

Then there was the alarm clock. I always admired him for his quirkiness, but quirky gifts are a no-no. As many times as we’ve stayed over each other’s house, there was never a time I needed an alarm to wake up. Till this day, my internal clock is better than any alarm clock. But what really made this alarm clock special, was the picture of his face on the inside. So every time I rolled over, there was his face illuminating on my nightstand.  Creepy.

Eventually we broke up, but we still remain great friends. I told him last night that I would mention those two gifts, and once again he apologized about the cat, but not about the illuminating self-portrait alarm clock. I told him the one gift I ever really wanted for Valentine’s Day was a Chia Pet, eventually I got one, but I had to buy it myself.

  • http://airindanyell.tumblr.com Erin

    The worst gift I ever received was two candy hearts from CVS filled with chocolate M&M’s that my boyfriend at the time gave me, which he purchased literally 10 mins before he saw me, after I drove up from school to spend the day/night with him. (I don’t even like regular M&M’s!) I rented a nice hotel suite and everything for us. He didn’t even take me out to dinner. All that to say, that was the last time we saw each other.

    When it comes to gifts or Valentine’s Day gifts, it doesn’t have to be expensive, but thought should be put into it. It’s not like Valentine’s Day doesn’t happen every year.

  • Sasha

    I thumbed downs this because that guy sounds like a freaking douchebag. EWWW just what a freaking jerk.

  • listener

    An unsolicited bon-bon lollipop that cost about 5 cents from a guy I was in the “getting to know stage” with.

  • Fancypants

    A deposit in my checking account. I mean, I appreciate the cash but how lazy is that?

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  • http://melodymoose.deviantart.com/ catpopstar

    I once saw a commercial for generic teddy bears. They weren’t themed or wearing clothes or anything. They were just bears. And these were advertised for V-day. Seriously, I don’t think anyone over the age of 5 would get excited for those.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    My high school BF gave me a cheap tacky thong…

  • Joy

    Fancy: I hope that was from your husband. Otherwise why does he have your checking account info??

  • The Moon in the Sky

    You can make a deposit in someone’s account without an account number. If you have other, correct information it can be done.

  • southerngirl

    Chile boo! I’d take the cash over a half assed gift anyday.

  • http://defendingmoney.wordpress.com Marketing Gimmicks

    A mug with a picture of a Rotweiler on it. My then man at the time loved attack dogs and thought it would be a great gift for me. Don’t you just hate when a person gives you a gift without ever taking into consideration what your personal likes and dislikes are?

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