Steubenville Rape Case

I didn’t follow the Steubenville rape case. I heard the early details, knew there was so much more than what was being said, hoped the system would throw “the book” at the guys if for no other reason than to “make an example” of the guys, assumed (correctly) that wouldn’t happen, and then tuned out.

Forgive me, I have a personal history with this subject.

On Monday, as Clutch already covered here, high school football players Trent Mays, 17, and Ma’lik Richmond, 16, were found “delinquent beyond a reasonable doubt” —the juvenile equivalent of guilty— of sexually assaulting a 16-year-old girl. Both boys were sentenced to at least one year in a juvenile detention facility, with Mays earning an extra year for posting pictures of the naked girl online.

The guys, teens, were tried as juveniles, which is the only reason I can assume CNN anchors practically offered them condolences on their sentence, and also that so much of the writing on this case has been incredibly PC, at least by my meter.

Forgive me if I’m habitually line-stepping, or even crossing here, by writing what I’m really thinking, but there are a few things I need to get off my chest:

1. Ma’lik Richmond is the Luckiest Black Boy Alive

This 1) Black kid—football player or not— in a 2) small, middle of nowhere white town who 3) was charged with raping a 16-year-old 4) white girl got tried as a juvenile and THEN when found “delinquent beyond a reasonable doubt” received the lesser time than his white co-defendant?!

A year for raping a white girl? Are we still in America?! ‘Cause a guilty Black man ain’t been this lucky since OJ (and really, that was luck, money, and Johnny Cochran’s skill as an attorney).

I watched Young Ma’lik’s courtroom sobbing about his life being over, which CNN found so heartbreaking (I keep mentioning it because I”m just that appalled by it.) Ma’lik needs a perspective check. He got off way easier than some people expected him to, or really, wanted him to.

2. Steubenville is Everywhere USA

It’s too convenient to look a Steubenville and deduce, “small town, sports-hero worship, nothing better to do, that would never happen in [insert bigger city here].” I’m reading so much finger-pointing at their little town, like it’s any different from anywhere else. Puh-lease. It’s a  travesty what was done to the victim. But this isn’t an unfamiliar story. (I’m sure, if challenged, the comments section could be filled with them.)

Over a decade ago, I graduated from a D1 university where four football players and a “groupie” allegedly filmed “sexual acts” on video. According to legend, the girl was on her knees, surrounded by four erect penises that she was uh, pleasuring. At some point she stopped to tell the camera, “I support my team” or some such, then went back to business. It was never clear whether she was drunk, high (both?), or sober when this happened.

Anyway, everytime she was spotted on campus, someone would go “slurp, slurp, go [name of team] we support our team!” which is how I heard about the tape. The only reason that didn’t turn into a huge scandal was mobile phones only made calls then, and everyone didn’t have one. Everyone who lived on campus knew about the tape, and lots of people saw it (think of how O-Dog showed off his tape in Menace II Society). I did not, nor did I want to.

Let’s reach further back. My Mom was in high school in the early 70s. She recalls going to a graduation party where a woman got drunk and/or high, had sex with… Well, the woman never could remember who or how many. But she did get pregnant. With twins.

I’m sure if I started asking around to women my deceased grandmother’s age, stories would pour from them too. Like I said, this isn’t new. And unfortunately…

3. This Will Happen Again (And Again, and Again)

I had an interesting Twitter conversation yesterday with a friend, a guy, whose opinion I respect. During our discussion, he made a point– twice– to say that the boys weren’t depraved “in context.” He certainly didn’t think what the guys did was “okay”, but he pointed out that boys are more or less “taught” that having sex with girls and women who are drunk, despite it meeting the legal definition of rape, isn’t a problem. Liquor is largely perceived as a method of getting a woman to relax/ release inhibitions, i.e. make her more likely to agree to sex or even just less likely to protest (notable difference).

Also, culturally, when it comes to rape, the onus is on women to magically figure out a way to avoid it, not on teaching boys and men not to do it. At the mere reasonable suggestion that men carry some responsibility by being taught not to rape, which Zerlina Maxwell did on Fox last week, some men went  batsh– —and suggested Maxwell be raped. It’s a sign of how far we have to go– and how many more girls and women will be raped– before this mindset changes.

4. The Victim Needed Better “Friends”

The night of the party, the victim’s female “friends” were present. They testified in court that she was super drunk to the point that she was rolling around on the floor, and that she had a habit of drinking heavily. Ok. If your friend can’t hold her liquor, you leave her home. I knew that as a 17-year-old college freshman and I learned it the FIRST time I went out with someone who got wasted. In the event, that I was out and my girl got drunk or was drunk, I looked after her. It was annoying to leave early.  I resented baby sitting someone in the corner, until whoever else we were with went to find the driver. No, really, I hated it. But I did it anyway, because my being annoyed for a night and wasting an outfit was way less important than a woman potentially being raped.

When I was the drunk girl, someone always looked after me. There was a never a discussion about it, an agreement to look out, it was just what was done because that’s what decent people do– take care of people who can’t take care of themselves, especially when you know them and remotely care about them, and even when you don’t.

5. In Context or Out, These Boys Are Depraved

I don’t like to throw kids under the bus, because you know they are kids, but I’ll break my own rule and do it today anyway. Something is really, seriously and truly wrong with the two boys found “delinquent” in this case. Ma’lik was living with his foster family, so who knows what he encountered in his early life. Mays family is less transparent, but he may be even more screwy. On Monday, he apologized to the victim, her family, his own family and the community for taking the photos of her and sending them around. Not a peep about, you know, raping her. (Perhaps that was skipped over for legal reasons, but in that case, I’d rather he just saved the half-*ss apology.)

I don’t know what happened to them or what basic lesson in humanity and decency these young men missed, or who told them that an ability to run fast and/or throw a ball well-meant they could act amoral and that’s just fine, but anybody who carts around a drunk girl to rape her in different locations and then is so nonchalant about it that they do it in front of other people, not even trying to hide like they have no clue is wrong, and THEN allows their depravity to be filmed and photographed is seriously f***ed up in the head. This is an #epicfail of parenting.

As they are both still boys, my hope is that their time served in juvenile detentions is spent with aggressive counseling and rehabilitation to fix their warped mindset, not just learning how to be better predators.

Demetria L. Lucas is the author of “A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life” (Atria), in stores now. Follow her on Twitter @abelleinbk.

  • LolaLola

    Horrible. Horrible. This reminds why I no longer come to clutch.

  • Medusa

    Um…. not seeing a single un-PC thing about this post. Cosign everything.

  • C

    While they’re actions were horrible and they should be punished, and they might/do seem like monsters, I think these boys need some help too

  • AnGe

    Yeah, truly amazed by the sentencing of Malik. The behavior by these kids shows that they are truly confused about what constitutes rape and how serious rape REALLY is.

    Watched this video http://youtu.be/22UsHZXPi7Q

    and it through me for a loop of the lack of character we have instilled the upcoming generations. It didn’t do anyone any favors to sit by and let this happen. A bunch of the kids ended up testifying against the two boys for their own immunity. At any point, any one of these boys could have said “hey, knock it off”

    For whatever reason rape and sexual assault are not seen as a big deal. It’s something that women can just go through or deal with like we deal with our periods and labor pains. It’s not seen as a traumatizing event that pops back up into your mind at random points in your life. Something that you can literally never forget. And something that affects you until the day you leave this planet.

  • The Comment

    I was surprised at the light sentence as well.

    Now what blows me away is how the media totally ignored the role ANONYMOUS played in getting all texts, video footage and other social media forensics out in the public. So much that the small town cop threatened ANONYMOUS. Like, really dude….

    Without ANONYMOUS…the incident wouldn’t even be a case..it be a bad rumor.

    I’m convinced that the media is a glamorized YouTube front…with overpaid script readers drunk on their own conceit.

  • http://gravatar.com/itsoftenbeensaid Sasha

    Ms. Lucas there is nothing Un-PC about these thoughts, I too thought them. I truly wanted to punch Ma’lik through the screen when he sobbed about his life being over and broke down in tears apologizing. He is not sorry about a single thing he did, he’s sorry he got caught. Both boys are truly depraved, actually beyond depraved. Yes they are kids whose brains are still developing but if at 16/17, if your mind doesn’t tell you to not to perform sexual acts on an unconcious/ blacked out person much less photograph and distribute the event, then clearly the lights are not all on upstairs and you’re a predator. What was especially telling to me was when they Mays kid apologized about taping the event and putting in on social media, he never once apologized for the act itself or carrying her body from party to party or ejaculating on her stomach. These boys are very lucky indeed, they should thank their stars for the sentence.

  • London

    “I don’t know what happened to them or what basic lesson in humanity and decency these young men missed…”

    Not only what lesson in humanity did these two boys miss. What lesson in morals and humanity did all the teens at these parties miss? How was it that this girl was able to be carted around from party to party, raped openly, and NOONE thought, “hey, this is wrong. Maybe I should call the police.” That’s the kicker!!!

    I mean, bad shit is going to happen to people. Sociopaths and criminals are always going to exist in a society and try to take advantage of others. My hope is, is if there are sane people around during a violent altercation, that they will kind enough to intervene or call for help. Not f-ing take pictures, videotape the victim being hurt, and then joke about it on twitter!!! WTF! This case (and sites like WSHH) shows the moral depravity that exist in our culture now.

    Are we so desensitize to violence that when we see it happening we not only not try to stop it, but think its humorous as well? This is the larger question and discussion that we should ALL be having right now.

  • Overseas_Honeybee

    Surprised about the sentence too but my thoughts always wander back to the victim. What about her “life” ? The trial my be over but this young lady will live with this event for the rest of her days.

  • Echi

    Wow – I’ve been trying to get point number one off my chest for like almost a week now. Please, preach! Excellent article as usual.

  • Keshia

    I like how he said his life is ruined, but yet no one cares for the young woman who will have to go through her whole life with the mental wounds from rape. Boy bye, he really is the luckiest black boy alive tho. Him, Kobe Bryant, and OJ should all get together and right a dang book.

  • http://facebook.com/kiki.lightbourn Kiki.Lightbourn

    I totally agree with your “Un-PC” comments. I think another thing that wasn’t addressed are all the people who are speaking against this young woman. Honestly it’s a situation where no one wins, but the young woman is being victimized more than ever even by (especially by girls of her own age and gender). It so easily could have been them in this situation but they aren’t seeing it. When a girl is raped people are so quick to look at what she was wearing, how she was behaving, etc. But what does that say about a man who can’t control his own urges? What does that say when a man can’t respect a woman and keep control of himself because of the way she was acting or what she was wearing? How disguising is that? We are in a culture where women really still are second class citizens and where we are teaching our girls to be afraid of the dark, cover up your body, look over your shoulder, have your guard up at parties and don’t talk to strangers. We are teaching our women “don’t get raped” instead of teaching or men “don’t rape.”

    This also sheds light on the dangers of underage drinking and partying. In all honesty, I didn’t drink or party in high school. My friends and I didn’t need it, and it wasn’t seen as a cool thing to do at my school. You weren’t any less of a person for not partying and stuff. nowadays the party culture is so huge there seems to be a lot of peer pressure and pressure from the media (see vampire diaries and every other show where 15 year olds have more drama in their useless lives than some baby boomers) where people are sleeping around, popping pills and partying to dawn. it’s unrealistic but it’s being displayed as a norm. We needs parents to step up ad be parents. How did the kids get the alcohol/ Those people need to be held responsible. Where was the party thrown? A house? Parents need to be charged. We need parents to parent their kids!

    I’m seeing more and more situations where women are blatantly disrespected by men and other women and it’s breaks my heart. It really does. I honestly feel bad for everyone in this tragedy and hope this can be a spring board- the start of a conversation for changes in the way

  • Ooh La La

    Because you support rape and the author doesn’t? I don’t understand.

  • http://gravatar.com/niknique starr

    Your on point with everything. Other than registering as sex offenders….i thought they got off pretty light. I can’t even say much about this case, because the whole thing angers me to the point of rage.

  • Ooh La La

    The problem is most men don’t think it’s rape unless a woman fights back or says the word “No.” I know some guys who think that drunken sex is perfectly okay. Well…

    Saying the word “No” = No
    Drunk/High = No
    Unconscious = No
    Anything other than explicitly stating “Yes” = No

  • AnnT

    There’s not much we can say about her life since (Thank God) her identify is not widely known. Until she decides to come forward on her own time, under her own conditions, all we can do is pray and hope that her life returns to some form of normalcy and educate men and young about what is rape truly looks like.

  • http://gravatar.com/jamesfrmphilly jamesfrmphilly

    this is a fail for every one concerned. these young people were sent out without proper home training. i blame the adults who were responsible for raising these kids. all of them.

  • Dom

    I completely agree. I’m also not sure I think it was wrong for the CNN coorespondent to wonder about what will happen to their futures. Yes, they committed a heineous crime, but I think it’s wrong to condemn them for life. Hopefully these young men get therapy and are able to develop an understanding of why their actions were wrong.

    I’d also have to add that if I were the parent of ANY of the kids involved I’d be so hurt and disappointed. The rapists were wrong, but there were many kids who saw this young woman clearly in need of help and just walked away from her.

  • Kay

    I don’t understand what the allure would be for any man to have sex with a woman who is so drunk she can’t consent. Most men like my cousins (thank the Lord) were raised to respect women and would always wrinkle up their noses in disgust at the mere mention of having “drunk sex.” But coming up, I realized that larger society isn’t like that. So it’s all about power, because I can’t seem to think sex with a drunk girl who is a hair breadth away from vomiting or passing out or both is exciting or fun.

    I am not really surprised that the judge was lenient with these guys. Aside from racial politics, this was a message to women to police themselves rather than having society actually tell men not to rape. This is such a misogynistic attitude; to make women responsible for their own safety and to tell them in an underhanded way, “See you just ruined this young man’s life. If you hadn’t been drinking he would have had a great future. The poor boy. Slap on the wrist for him.” Rather than saying, “Women are allowed to get messed up and sloppy drunk if they want to. However, if they are drunk, LEAVE THEM ALONE.” However, I noticed that most people have conveniently not even mentioned that there was underage drinking at this party and that some adult was responsible for letting this happen. The girl in question, whether she chose to get drunk or not, was technically a minor and should not even have had access to liquor.

  • apple

    this generation or maybe all of the current young generation is fucked, remember how the Sandusky school was cheering and supporting the night that stuff came out ???
    we’re all just fucked
    DOOMED!

  • Treece

    Young boys are getting the message all the time that this is right! Thats part of what is sooooo f–ked up about this. We call assume all we want that common decency would tell these kids that all the events that happened that night were wrong. But due to influence from thier peers, music, porn, (insert your media influence here), young men and boys are taught that a drunk woman (or a woman dressed very provocatively, or a woman at a party…) is fair game for sex. Whether they actually consent to it or not. Aside from fighting back and yelling “NO” to the top of thier lungs, it’s totally ok. In thier ignorant little minds, that girl was up for it, just because she was drunk. I really don’t think they knew the difference. That is not to excuse thier actions though because now they have to pay for thier ignorance with time in a juvenille detention center and the record will follow them forever.

    We have to teach our boys better. We can’t just assume a 17 year old boy is going to develop a solid foundation of morals and values on his own. Somewhere along the line, somebody dropped the ball with them. I think the author is right in saying that those boys are depraved, in that a synonym for depravity is corruption. These boys’ (and other young men all over the country) minds have been corrupted by lyrics to misogynistic (sp?) songs, movies, tv shows, and internet clips of videos by other depraved boys. There will always be psychopaths, mentally ill people who will commit crimes. But we can help stop crimes like this from happening by educating our kids. It doesn’t stop when they become old enough to drive. I really hope they do learn something from this. I hope the Steubenville school system also uses this opportunity to educate boys about this as well. Wishful thinking, but high schools all over the country should.

  • http://gravatar.com/needusername23 HowardGirl

    I’m totally going to be the bad guy here:
    1. Most people do not feel sympathy for the girl because she chose to get insanely drunk and by her own admission and that of her friends does so often enough for it to be a habit. Doesnt mean she caused her own rape, but its hard to feel bad for someone who is that gravely irresponsible.
    2. I think it is total crap to say her friends were bad friends. They testified to attempting to stop her from drinking. She refused profusely. They left the party and she refused to go with. She insisted on leaving hand in hand with Mays. At some point you let the Titanic go down on its own. A cooperative drunk is one thing, but a belligerent drunk who refuses to exert any good sense and does so often? Cut em loose. The night of if need be.
    3. Ma’lik is lucky as heck. But I also think he got the rawest deal. I’ve followed the case pretty closely. Almost all of the evidence points to Mays and very little of it to Ma’lik. The Youtube clip someone posted (which is completely depraved and I can only hope that kid gets his due) was not admissible so the judge never saw it. Three students were given immunity despite their involvement that night to testify. One of those students claimed he saw Ma’lik rape the girl. One of the boys who wasnt prosecuted is the son of the county prosecuting attorney. In a day of testimony that detailed all of the relevant text messages from over 16 phones there was only one text that implicated Ma’lik. There were more than 2,500 messages discussed. If a black kid gets a slap on the wrist for raping a white girl you’ve got to wonder why. I’m not convinced the kid is 100% innocent, but the evidence doesn’t quite add up.
    4. I’m not sure why everyone else was supposed to do for this girl what she wouldn’t do for herself. Her friends were supposed to care for and protect her and so were the other boys/people around. We aren’t talking about boys who snatched her up and forced her to go with them. We aren’t even talking about boys who pressured her to drink. She did all of that on her own free will. There is no denying these boys are depraved for what they did, but this girl gets less sympathy from me because she’s a victim of her own actions almost as much as those of the twisted boys. Stupidity is costly. And this girl was supremely stupid.

  • http://gravatar.com/needusername23 HowardGirl

    I agree. If you get so wasted you cant control yourself and leave the club hand in hand with a guy you barely know expect that he will treat you only a fraction as well as you have treated yourself.

  • Sylvie

    What’s worse is, I think there were people who saw it, KNEW it was wrong, but lacked the strength of will to act. Maybe it was peer pressure, fear of being attacked/shunned/whatever but I think there were kids there who knew it was wrong, felt sorry for the girl and still did nothing.

    And total agreement with 4 and 5. I couldn’t stand the drunk friends but I couldn’t stand them because I knew it would mean cutting my time out short to make sure their sloppy butts got home. There was no alternative. There was no leave them there to fend or let them go off with boys they partially know. No, no, and no. The number that arrives together is the number that leaves together and you can curse the drunk out later but you get them home. That’s part of the deal when you are someone’s friend.

    And 5, whew. Yeah, I’m not down with the “their just kids,” “it’s such a shame” malarky. If this is what those little monsters are capable of at 16 imagine them at 18, 21, 25, 30. Imagine them with weapons, in alleys, with NFL contracts and endorsements and agents with hush money. I’m glad they were caught now instead of when they had the money, power, and intelligence to hide their evil.

  • Anthony

    I think you make some great points about the dangers of alcoholism. The rape victim needs some serious counseling not only abut her rape, but about her drinking. If nothing else, she is going to drink herself to death and have some messed up kids along the way if she doesn’t change.

    Your points about Ma ‘lik are worth considering. He would not have been the first black boy to get thrown under the bus for being dumb enough to run behind white boys who were up to no good. That said, he should have called his “friends” on their behavior when he saw it and intervened to help the girl and call the police. He would have lost all of his “friends,” but he would be free.

  • Anthony

    Kay, when I was coming up, my peers always talked about getting “pussy,” they never talked about having a girlfriend or a relationship. The act of sexual intercourse or getting any other sort of penetration or sexual pleasure from a woman was what was valued, not the woman herself unless she was considered to be unusually “fine.” If a young man only values the sex act and not the actual woman, penetrating a passed out girl makes perfect sense unfortunately.

  • leelah

    Overall this article didn’t bother me. Except for the author implying that a black man raping a white woman will still get lynched, or at least a super harsh sentence. Once we approach every rape of a white woman by a black man with that in mind we ‘re in danger of a knee jerk like defense of the rapists because we want to protect him from a racists judicial system. Which is the very reason why black people supported OJ Simpson despite the fact he obviously killed Nicole.–something about that ‘he’s lucky because a black man convicted of raping a white woman usually gets the book thrown at him’ just doesn’t sit right with me.

  • belle/demetria

    a black boy raping a white woman usually does get a harsher sentence. i expected the black boy who raped a white girl to get more time because historically black boys/men are punished worse and especially when the victim is white. in general, black people receive harsher sentences across the board for the same crimes white people commit. the judge broke tradition here.

    i was not implying that is right, only speaking to how it usually goes down.

    you make a valid point on the knee-jerk like defense of even rapists because we want to protect them from the racist judicial system. i don’t condone that either, but acknowledge that it happens (R. Kelly, OJ, Mike Tyson, etc.)

    it’s a tough situation through and through.

  • Job

    The marketing of party culture, and drunkenness to young kids is to blame. Look at the popular movies. Hangover, Real Cancun etc. These movies encourage getting plastered and engaging in uninhibited behavior that you wouldn’t even fathom doing while sober. It has removed the shame from bad behavior that used to take place only in secret. Now teens brazenly display rape on social media for all to see. We need to teach both boys AND girls appropriate behavior, morals and responsibility. It is NOT OK for boys to rape neither is it OK for boys and girls to be drunk. Rape is always wrong. But so is underage drunkenness. Alcohol abuse has cost many young people their lives. Alcohol can cause people to make bad decisions. When you make bad decisions bad things happen that you may forever regret.

  • http://gravatar.com/needusername23 HowardGirl

    I totally agree. I don’t think hes innocent. He may or may not have touched her, but he didnt stop it and he didnt step up. For that he is definitely guilty. But the evidence on the rape is a bit lacking.

    And I think theres a difference between telling women to prevent rape and telling girls to protect themselves first. Getting black out drunk and not remembering the night before isnt okay. And doing it often is even more dangerous.

  • belle/demetria

    1. She’s 16. If she’s regularly getting wasted, she’s got huge problems at home (like most people who get wasted regularly). I don’t expect her high school peers to get that. I do expect adults to understand it and extend some sympathy to a troubled girl.

    2. As a friend, you go with her. She won’t go? You suck it up and go. You don’t leave the drunk girl. SHE’S DRUNK. She doesn’t know what she’s doing. If you want to cut ties forever the moment after you get her home safe, whenever that is? Fine. But you stay with her and then you get her home, if only to avoid the possibility of something like this.

    3.”If a black kid gets a slap on the wrist for raping a white girl you’ve got to wonder why.” << duly noted.

    4. "Stupidity is costly. And this girl was supremely stupid." << It's a cold world.

  • http://gravatar.com/conventionaldee ConventionalDee

    What saddened me about this case is that I was not surprised at all by the boys’ behavior, I’ve almost come to expect it. What happened to the girl code? How do you let something like this happen to your friend? I saw one of the text messages the victim sent to one of her friends, and I was appalled at how nonchalant the friend was. Like oh well, there was nothing I could do. We really have to do better with our children and young people.

  • D_luv

    Yes, yes, that is all well and good, but there really aren’t parents out there telling their kids that they are allowed to get drunk, especially as minors! Sure, give your child every tool to make smart decisions and protect themselves from danger but it is MORE IMPORTANT (especially in the matter of rape) to tell them what qualifies as rape and that they must not perpetrate, facilitate, or willfully witness any of those actions being done to themselves or someone else without going for help IMMEDIATELY. The end.

  • ….

    Exactly!!!! It’s not my friends job to babysit me.why would I make them more responsible for my safety than I am for my own?

  • http://www.facebook.com/pges1 Grace Spencer

    I read somewhere that the girl was setup.She was drugged by the prosecutors son( who got immunity) because she refused to sleep to with him while they were dating and he used her “friend” to lure her to the party. I hope more people are prosecuted including the coach and the police who tried to cover it up.

  • D_luv

    1) Your first point doesn’t stand. Prosecuting the CRIME of rape is not a matter of whether or not the victim is “sympathetic”. When the local thug is shot, the police still investigate and prosecute the murderer despite the fact that he was a bad guy and no one feels sorry for him being dead. Murder is against the law, period. Rape is against the law, period.

    4) The only thing anyone was supposed to do for this girl was not rape her. If those actions had not been taken, there would be no case. End of story. She might have gotten drunk as hell, vomited, got filmed, talked about, etc, and she might have deserved all of that, but the crime here is rape, and there’s no escaping that. In the matter of her sexual violation, she was a victim of Ma’lik and Trent, not “her own stupidity”. Let go of the victim blaming. When you sexually assault a person with diminished capacity (i.e. drunk, high, mentally ill, mentally disabled, old, infirm… which happens ALL THE TIME) it is ALWAYS a crime.

  • Tisha

    I could not agree more with this article. I saw the footage of Ma’lik crying in court. He got a one year prison sentence in a case where the suggestion of a similar or remote offense (not actual crime) could or would have had his father thrown under the jail, his grandfather shot and his great-grandfather lynched.

    I agree with everyone’s thoughts on #epicfail for parenting. These children (who saw and did nothing as if watching an inebriated teenage girl being carried around like a dying goat to the butcher’s is normal) in ten to twenty years will be running the country…into the ground. SMH.

  • http://gravatar.com/needusername23 HowardGirl

    1. I was responding to Demetria/others who wondered why people aren’t sympathetic to the girl. That comment which is apart from the others has nothing to do with the crime the boys committed. I’m fully for prosecuting the rapists. I’m just not sympathetic to this victim.

    4. she was a victim of Malik and Trent. I also think she fell victim to her own choices. I in no way said that they werent rapists. I said that she was stupid for drinking herself into a stupor and not taking proper care of herself. She hurt herself by drinking until she passed out neither Malik nor Trent did that to her.

  • http://gravatar.com/needusername23 HowardGirl

    1. Some kids drink because they think its cool and fun. Not all of them come from homes with major problems.

    2. I’m a great friend. But even that has limits. I wont go to a basement get together with a bunch of drunk athletes because a friend of mine wont control herself. We wont both be raped because Im trying to look out for you. At best I call your mom after I walk away.

    4. No snuggies.

    I’m baffled at how none of these kids were worried that she might die. I also wondered why they didnt try to have sex with her. They seem like the type that would have.

  • http://gravatar.com/needusername23 HowardGirl

    @D_Luv
    My mom has never been a fan of drinking (legal age or not), but she was clear about how I should conduct myself if I ever did decide to drink. And I agree that it is imperative that we teach boys not to rape or sexually assault in any way shape or form.

  • Treece

    Kids need to be educated on a lot when it comes to rape, on both sides of the fence. I may get a lot of thumbs down but I’m just going to say it: As much as boys need to be schooled on what “no” and “rape” means, girls also need to know what they can do to take power and responsibility over thier own lives and wellbeing as far as drinking alcohol and using drugs goes. Girls need to be aware that if they get fall-down, pass-out, black-out drunk, or have willingly used drugs (not talking about roofies or if they were drugged unexpectedly) that they are putting themselves in a very vulnerable place to be taken advantage of. I am not saying it justifies rape. I am not blaming the victim. I am saying that there are steps women and girls can take to HELP protect themselves. This does not save you from every sicko out there hiding in the bushes determined to rape you. But girls have to know the truth. And it hurts to have to tell someone that the crime that was commited against them MAY not have happened if they had protected themselves. When someone leaves thier car doors unlocked overnight and them wakes up to find they have not car, they have admit to themselves that they could have taken steps to protect themselves against that violation. Nobody would doubt that. But when it comes to rape, all we do is teach “no means no” without getting down to the nitty-gritty about what girls and young women can do to protect themselves (and each other) and take power over the situation as much as possible. I’m not talking about the way a woman dresses or anything superficial. I’m talking about being on your guard and specifically, not impairing yourself to the point that you cant stand up and you’re puking all over yourself on the ground. I’m talking about not leaving your friend a party when she is in this state (good character/values education….which mostly comes from home).

    I just feel like this whole situation is full of evidence that the younger generation is frought with mixed messages about sex and violence. Most of which are negative. For every kid that is doing well that I hear about, it seems that there are 5 or more misguided young souls out there doing some of the most evil things. For goodness sakes, this child was only 16 years old so drunk she was laying on the ground vomiting on herself with no shirt on, and the fools involved in the rape were standing around her discussing whether or not they should pee on her! Ughh! We’ve got to teach our kids better, girls and boys.

  • E.M.S.

    Well said. Nothing you’ve said here is untrue.

    The BIGGEST issue with these cases in the mindset of rape culture. Until society changes to teach males proper respect and thinking when it comes to women and these situations, we will unfortunately keep hearing about stories like this. And that’s gravely disappointing.

  • belle/demetria

    @HowardGirl

    I am totally unconvinced that they did not have sex with her. Didn’t Anonymous post that they tried to force oral on her, but she was too drunk to respond? There’s a Tweet from some guy who was there implying she was anally raped as well.

    I too am baffled that they weren’t concerned she was dead.

    I stand by my argument that to get wasted on a consistent basis AT 16 indicates a problem at home. Drink and be silly because it’s cool and the buzz is fun is one thing. Wasted, as she was described, is entirely different.

    Duly noted on not putting yourself in harm’s way to save a friend. But there’s another option, like you mentioned, calling her parents.

  • Okay

    I would whole heartedly agree with you if most rape were not acquaintance rape. Also if roofies didnt exist.

  • Job

    Most acquaintance rape between adults occurs when alcohol is involved. Victims feel ashamed and often don’t report it.

  • Treece

    Definitely not talking about acquaintance rape and situations that involve roofies or drugs like that (top of the first paragraph). There are times where it’s unavoidable. I was specifically talking about times like the current Steubenville case. This is not the first time I’ve heard of something like this happening so it is unfortunately common (especially on college campuses).

  • bob

    SOCIETY DOES TEACH MALES THAT THIS IS WRONG. WHERE DO WE SEE IN SOCIETY THAT DATE RAPE IS OK. WHERE DO WE SEE IN SOCIETY THAT RAPE IS OK. NO WHERE IN AMERICA. THESE BOYS KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING WAS WRONG, WHY YOU THINK THEY TRIED TO COVER IT UP. THEY COMMITED A CRIME. THATS IT THEY WERE NOT IGNORANT THEY JUST THOUGHT THEY WOULDNT GET CAUGHT AND WHEN THEY GET CAUGHT THEY PLAY DUMB, SO PEOPLE CAN FEEL SORRY FOR THEM. YOU GUYS REALLY BELIEVE THAT THESE KIDS DID NOT KNOW THAT HAVING SEX WITH A PASSED OUT WOMAN IS WRONG.

  • Job

    1. She was a victim of her own stupidity. When you get drunk, reportedly to the point of unconsciousness, bad things happen. Sometimes you walk away fine with no memories, sometimes you don’t wake up at all. We should be glad we’re not having her funeral on top of this. She could have died from poisoning, died in a car crash or from injuries in a fall. Happens too often to teens. The boys were wrong and were rightfully punished. But none of this would have happened if she were sober. The creeps specifically chose her because she was drunk. They didn’t attempt to rape any of the sober girls. Predators look for easy victims. That’s the truth.

  • cosmicsistren

    Now THESE comments from HowardGirl are Un – PC!!

  • Job

    That’s a complete lie. Boys know that rape is wrong. That’s why its punishable by 20 years or more in jail and was once punishable by death in this country. The overwhelming majority of men are not rapists.

  • K

    Sadly, I think one of the biggest motivators for Mays and Richmond was the bravado and prestige they mistakenly thought would result from publicly humiliating this girl. I don’t know much about these boys’ character, but I highly doubt either would have raped the girl had they been completely alone with her with no one to share in the “fun” with and no way to document it. These boys were probably reared on a huge hardcore porn diet (if they’re staying out all night at 15 and 16 do you think they don’t have access to internet porn?) and see scenes played out like this constantly where men revel in ejaculating on women and degrading them in group settings. This scenario was like a perverse game for them; they likely had no concept of how sick and violating this actually was to the victim. I still do not think they have grasped it. The machismo male culture that young boys, especially middle America football players, subscribe to is one in which women are used as disposable sex objects with no personalities or agency of their own. I wholehearted agree with point #3. The way mainstream culture is going, I doubt this will be the last case we hear like this.

  • Job

    @Serita

    Thanks for proving my point.

    http://www.fullerton.edu/alcohol_drug_info/drunksex.html

    “Similarly, approximately one-half of all sexual assault victims report that they were drinking alcohol at the time of the assault, with estimates ranging from 30 to 79 percent.”

    Both victims and perpetrators have usually been drinking. It would be foolish not to stress alcohol responsibility and awareness for both men and women.

  • Treece

    @ Job
    I agree. Thats why I made the first statement in the original post. Nobody is trying to absolve boys of responsibility or sympathize with them. I just wanted to note the importance of educating girls on protecting themselves.

  • Dave

    No to the point about her needing better friends. Something that needs to be said: we need to start holding women accountable for recklessly drinking themselves vulnerable. I say this as a someone who drinks often (and has baby sat and been baby sat for). It is still YOUR responsibility to drink responsibly and no one else’s. Would it have been nice for her friends to look after her a little more intently? Sure. But if someone has a reputation for handling themselves poorly when intoxicated and yet still has “a habit for drinking heavily” then why are you blaming her friends for her poor decisions? You are by no means obliged, as an adult, to baby sit if another adult (friend or otherwise) drinks themselves into a state of infancy. At a certain point people just get tired of holding your hand. And there are far too many young women on any given college weekend who will simply go out, get recklessly wasted, and leave themselves completely vulnerable to sexual assault. We hold young men accountable for their actions (drunk or otherwise) and the same needs to be done for our young women…if you really want to attack “rape culture” that is. Cheers to drinking responsibly.

  • Job

    It’s not just jock culture, its also what I call Frat Boy Culture. Hard core porn and mainstream media definitely contributes to objectification of the opposite sex. Unfortunately boys and idiots like these two are in high demand by the girls at their schools and universities, causing them to become even more brazen and egotistic. They have countless opportunities for drunken hookups and easy sex. Why do you think 2 GIRLS were the ones making twitter threats to the victim. The jock/frat culture doesn’t occur in a vacuum. There are morally depraved males and an equal amount of female enablers.

  • The Comment

    I know. I almost wanna’ say that we are almost like Saudia Arabia in that our society hates women. All about the men and their future. Hate to say it but I don’t feel safe like I used to. I really don’t feel safe being a black woman. Or any kind of woman…cause like she said…if the brotha’ got a light sentence for doing this to a YOUNG WHITE GIRL. We all in trouble.

  • Tara

    I think that white women and the white world tend to be more sympathetic to black atheletes because at the end of the day, they know where all that black athelete money is going…..to their community. That is why black atheletes dont catch as much hell.

  • bob

    “many people think that what they did wasn’t even worth the light sentences they got.” who are these many people ? I know these many people are not the majority of Americans. I for one think they got off easy. They were not some 11 year olds , these kids were 16 and 17 years old they knew what they were doing was wrong. I think they thought it was cool , but it does not change the fact that they made the decision to commit an evil act that night. They are very lucky they were underaged, athletes with no previous records aka ( lucky they never got caught doing anything before this because they probably have)

  • Job

    @Treece the Stuebensville incident is a classic case of acquaintance rape. She knew both boys and even texted them following the assault. Maybe you’re thinking acquaintance rape means “drugged by an acquaintance.” But it usually means one person not taking “no” for an answer when inebriated or an inebriated person taking advantage of an even more inebriated or unconscious acquaintance as was the case in Stuebensville.

  • Job

    @ Serita

    Its also a gray area in the minds of many women. That’s why many do not report it, and sadly some girls drink with the intent of hooking up at parties. Drunk sex is dumb sex. That needs to be stressed to both parties.

  • GlowBelle

    You are dead on and dead right with this piece. I completely agree with you. IMO these guys should have been tried as adults. They were partying, drinking, and thinking as if they were adults and the parents in all of this were MIA, so why not? The problem is that 17 is the new 27 these days. Parents think once kids hit high school they are done with parenting, leaving everybody else to teach them. No. Parenting never stops. This whole incident proves that giving kids too much responsibility and leniency at the teenage stage leads to tragedies like this, and the cycle just keeps on going.

    Giving these guys juvenile is a slap on the wrist, and I can’t help but think that they’ll do it again because they got off easy the first time. Those boo-hoo crocodile tears don’t convince me a lick that they learned a lesson, and the media forcing me to care about their ‘bright futures’ is disgusting. What about the victim? What about her future? I have sympathy for her, not these jerks.

    Still what also really disgusts me is her heartless so-called friends. I fully agree that we need to teach guys not to rape. That hyper masculine image is ruining young and impressionable boys because in this sex obsessed society it sends a distorted message, and it’s always directed towards the violation of women. Still those friends (I’m assuming they were mostly girls) at the party didn’t give a care and that is scary to me. They actually were allowing that to go down not thinking that that could have been them in that situation. I guess I was lucky, I had a tight group of girl friends in college and whenever we went out we had each others back. Still I think that girls need to learn how to respect and watch out for themselves and their fellow girl friends, because you can’t just assume about anything or anybody anymore.

  • bob

    I dont blame hard core porn for them commiting a crime. That is very simmilair to the violent video games make kids shoot up schools. These kids no the difference between right and wrong. They made the decision to do the wrong thing drunk or sober , they made the decision

  • GlowBelle

    “He got a one year prison sentence in a case where the suggestion of a similar or remote offense (not actual crime) could or would have had his father thrown under the jail, his grandfather shot and his great-grandfather lynched.”

    Preach it!! Even though I still think him being a football player played a partial part in them be lenient (they love Black men when they play sports, remember that), he still was EXTREMELY lucky.

  • Anthony

    Those women who drink too much may be guilty of public intoxication or even drunk driving, but they didn’t rape anybody. Last night, I fell asleep, and it was not until after midnight that I realized my back door was unlocked. If someone had robbed me would I have been responsible for it by your logic?

    About the only scenario in which I would not be sympathetic to a high or inebriated woman would be if she and a man or men were drinking, and while they all were drunk, she agreed to sex, then the next day she said that she didn’t really mean it.

    In the Ohio case, the young lady was unconscious, so there is no way that the rapists could argue she gave them an invitation to sex.

  • Anthony

    Tara, you may have a good point.

  • apple

    i didnt just mention the next generation, the sandusky people are in my generation.. i meant young people in general including those my age..

  • Treece

    @ Job

    No, I understand the difference. Maybe I should’ve said “or” instead of “and” in that post. Just saying that I wasn’t including either of those instances in my reasoning for the original post. A woman could be raped by a good trusted friend/boyfriend/husband and not be able to control it or have any way to protect herself from it. Similarly, if she were drugged then of course there is no control over that either.

  • D.T.

    The reason why the black boy got little time is because his partner in crime was a white boy. If it was two black boys, they would have gotten the book thrown at them. Lets not be so naive to believe that he just so happened to get off.

    The crime is not that this girl was drunk. The crime was the rape. She is a victim. Point blank period. Furthermore, I’m not sure why people are dragging her parents’ names through the mud. They could have very well explained to her about the dangers of excessive drinking for all we know.

  • http://gravatar.com/jamesfrmphilly jamesfrmphilly

    and how is it that a group of CHILDREN have the ability to get DRUNK?
    some adults need to be on trial.

  • Meka

    When i heard the verdict for him, i said to myself “he must be one hell of a football player”..I 100% agree with you..

  • Raegan’s Mom

    I kinda saw where you were going…until the references to adult & college aged women….this girl was neither…I do agree real adult friends would have intervened but we’re talking about teenagers whose opinions change with the wind

  • Pat

    To me, #1 says it all. The court is still holding the rape victim accountable for her actions and behavior by being intoxicated. Not convicting a black “athlete” for such a hideous act? Rape of a white girl? This expected historical behavior to lock him up and throw away the key. It’s clear the court is not holding the teenagers accountable for committing a criminal act. If they were, the sentencing would have been much longer than a year. I honestly feel as if the Steubenville protesting is the action behind this ruling. A small town perhaps with old-fashion values with thoughts of this woman shouldn’t have been drinking and behaving in such a manner. Not only that, the picture is what touched the heart of people to speak up and react. It was a visual that this wasn’t right. In all actuality b/c of the rape itself — that’s what shouldn’t have been tolerated regardless of race (BM/WF ,WM/BF, or BM/BF).

    This case says a lot about how our society still governs women as well as the criminal acts that take place against us. Sad to say and truly don’t want to speak it into existence; this #3 that you had to get off your chest [thank you. Once we realize it will happen Again (And Again, and Again) until we change these young men and society’s mentality towards rape and about women in general, another crime will occur the next time another young lady is intoxicated.

    Not passing blame on the rape victim, just because a woman is never aware of what predators or insensitive men she’ll run into, we have to teach them to always be aware of who they are entertaining. It always smart to have a friend around, but you still have to make sounds decision for yourself. Parents have to take responsibility to talk to their sons and daughters. I say especially sons. We need to make the message clear that it is a zero tolerance level for any type of abuse and drinking is not permission to sleep with a woman. Also, she may change her mind mid-way.

    I think it is two-parts for a learning lesson here. 1. Parents (as always) need to do their part first. And 2. The court system still isn’t sensitive towards rape (still passing blame). Again, we must teach our kids so it won’t even get to this level. After one year, these young men still may have the same mentality.

    I was really surprise it was just a year.

  • Leo the Yardie Chick

    People would rather be their children’s best friends than their parents.

  • belle/demetria

    Anthony: your second scenario, in which the drunk woman agrees to sex, still meets the definition of rape. Her judgment is impaired by drugs/liquor. She can’t actually consent.

  • a

    Ummm…4 out of 5 black NBA and NFL athletes have a black spouse. This is a verifiable fact. The REAL issue is that they have an overwhelming preference for lightskinned sisters.

  • http://gravatar.com/needusername23 HiwardGirl

    @Demetria
    While I have respect for Anon the info they put out cant always be used. A lot of this case is based on comments made online and via text. Many of the comments, while they’re sick and ridiculous, are lies. They did a rape kit. She wasn’t sodomized or penetrated with a penis or drugged. They either did not pee on her or bathed her to remove the pee before she woke (I doubt they’d do the bathing they’re not that considerate or smart).

    Generally speaking I’d agree with you that kids get blackout drunk b/c they have issues, but today’s version of silly/fun drunk IS black out drunk. Ie: poppin mollies, project x style extreme drinking/drugs.

  • Anthony

    belle/demetria, oh I know that any time a woman is drunk, she can say that she didn’t really mean it and the man will be charged with rape. My problem is that if both parties are drinking or high, and they both agree to sex while under the influence, it is unfair that the man alone will bear criminal responsibility for a decision that both made. Think about it, if a woman who is driving drunk has to take responsibility for her decisions, it makes no sense that man should have to take responsibility for an activity that she consciously agreed to.

    To make myself clear, I am not talking about a man drugging a woman while he stays sober, or a man attacking an unconscious drunk woman. I am talking about two peers drinking and agreeing to sex. If you think about it, no man should ever take a woman up on a proposition that happens at a bar or a party.

  • lol

    you really should try to make sense before you type.

  • Yvette

    She WAS unconscious. There were pictures of them carrying her, unconscious. Witnesses testified to the fact that she was UNCONSCIOUS. Still think they shouldn’t have gone to jail?

  • P

    Huh? Why are you condoning capital punishment especially by hanging someone? The crime doesn’t fit punishment of what YOU are suggesting. Yes, she recanted her story. Either way, the punishment is not about behavior, what she could remember or what she didn’t remember. Young men need to realize what their limits are. Will they continue to take advantage of every intoxicated woman to that level? They need to think twice. If the parents are not doing their part, then the court system is lackadaisical, then I doubt (one) yr will make too much of an influence. Not only for the act. To share behavior on such a broad scale need to suffer some type of consequence in order to make an impact. If no remorse is there, then repeat behavior is possible.

  • belle/demetria

    i understand. but him being drunk doesn’t mean he didn’t commit rape. men who are drunk while driving, murdering, beating their wives/children are still prosecuted for committing criminal acts. rape is no different. alcohol does not absolve a man from responsibility.

    admittedly, both parties drinking is a HUGE grey area that I also find problematic. and you’re right, no man should ever take a woman up on a proposition that happens at a bar, party or any other place where a woman has been drinking. he does run the risk of her saying, “i was drunk. i did not/could not consent.” that’s a risk you run when having sex with someone under the influence.

  • Marisa

    I saw them on CNN crying and the like and me and my parents were like them are the tears of not I did something wrong, those were the HOLY SH#T we did whatever we felt like because of entitlement but, the wheel of consequences for behavior landed on them tears. Also a load of kids are getting wasted at parties and these parents seemed to have very little awareness of what their kids were up to. I remember when going to parties that there had to be parental supervision, and the parents were contacted to see if any of us were trying to pull a Vanessa Huxtable all the way in Baltimore act. This case may have not even come to light if some of this kids didn’t go running their mouths on twitter thinking sexing a drunk passed out girl was cute, and also posting the pictures that girl looked barely alive. Although I believe more should have been charged as quite a few were involved, these two should be grateful all their getting is juvenile penalty.

  • http://gravatar.com/needusername23 HiwardGirl

    The only difference (in the case of two drunk people who have sex) between rape and a drunken one night stand is how the woman feels in the morning.

  • Dave

    Two things: first, yes Anthony, had you been robbed you would have shared some responsibility by not having taken a very necessary precaution. I honestly don’t understand why so many people have a problem understanding that. Also, while I understand your point Reagan’s Mom (and yes my comments were geared more towards reckless drinking in general and are not necessarily limited to this case) I refer you to Dave Chappelle for my thoughts on her age: how old is 16 really?

  • JT

    and all them three dudes have this other thing in common: that that they are symbols of idolatry because of being sports figures

  • http://gravatar.com/libpatriot GeekMommaRants

    “This is such a misogynistic attitude; to make women responsible for their own safety and to tell them in an underhanded way, ‘

    We are responsible for our own safety. I do not understand this reluctance to be self-protective. We would, if need be, kill to protect our children, but will have the faith of Job, when it comes to our own safety. Perhaps, this attitude must change.

  • Anthony

    I was not talking about the Steubenville case at all. I was talking about a hypothetical situation where both parties are drinking and have sex, but the woman later says she agreed while impaired. My argument is that if both are impaired at roughly the same level, I don’t think it is fair that the man be accused of rape.

    I don’t know how much that sort of situation comes up, and I suspect a good lawyer could probably get a defendant off, but blaming one party when both are does not seem fair to me.

    That said, given the law, I have to go back to what I always say, and that is part of being a real man is knowing when to walk away from sex.

  • Anthony

    As I understand the law, that would be rape if you said it was unwanted sex the morning after.

  • Nic

    #1 is totally what I’ve been thinking all week. If he had been the only defendant or his co-defendant had been black, they would be doing some hard time, esp. if the girl in question was white (I don’t know who the victim was even though I think she’s been outed by a lot of media outlets).

  • Anthony

    Dave, if a burglar’s defense is “the was unlocked,” he is going to prison.

  • Perspective

    Does it ever occur to women that it is actually a PATRIARCHY that protects women?

    In what society or what planet do you all believe that rape will never happen again if boys are just taught properly not to rape? Men are more physically capable than women. There will always be rape. The only thing that prevents rape is a structured society headed and controlled by the same MEN who women complain are all rapist as though men wake up in the morning with RAPE on their mind.

    Look at the black community. There are plenty of OLDER MEN sleeping with 15 year old girls. That goes on – on the regular. There are also older women sleeping with younger girls. I for one lost my virginity to a girl who already graduated high school when I was Junior.

    The ONLY thing that keeps this from going on are MEN. Fathers teaching their sons NOT to mess with young girls because of the laws, their future, and morality – and when fathers are present in the home to deter young/older men from messing with YOUNG GIRLS.

    Think Bad Boys 2 Will Smith and Martin Laurence answer the door. “THERE AIN’T GONE BE NO *$&@(#*$ TONIGHT!”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EW2QU2JaScE

    The ONLY thing that stops, prevents, or hinders RAPE are when you have men as a dominate force in the community – OH but I forget – women want matriarchy because EVIL PATRIARCHY puts them in a subordinate position.

    I’ll tell you what – complain about these boys all you want, THIS HOT MESS happens far less in those PATRIARCHAL WHITE COMMUNITIES, than in the MATRIARCHAL BLACK COMMUNITIES.

  • Perspective

    No means NO – we know that – but UNFORTUNATELY the ONLY thing that can keep young men in check – are OTHER MEN! Women can’t even dish out the punishment or retaliation for these crimes. Why do women have to turn ALL MEN INTO RAPE MACHINES because of the actions of a few – who have been PUNISHED by other men. You complain about the 1-2 year sentencing, but they were sentences as JUVENILES and being a registered sex offender FOR LIFE is nothing light weight. One of my friends SHOT HIMSELF over a statutory rape charge. The mother knew about the relationship, but once the schools officials found out the mother switched up for fear of losing her daughter and PRETENDED to not know about the relationship. Registered SEX OFFENDER for life. Yes, the woman would will unfortunately be a rape victim for life, but even if these boys received a 15 year sentence – they would still be REGISTERED SEX OFFENDERS FOR LIFE based on something they did at 16! Perhaps you just see them as rapist (Monsters) Would you feel better if we gave them the electric chair? – I see the whole thing as UNFORTUNATE.

  • Whiteprivilegeterminated

    “admittedly, both parties drinking is a HUGE grey area that I also find problematic. and you’re right, no man should ever take a woman up on a proposition that happens at a bar, party or any other place where a woman has been drinking. he does run the risk of her saying, “i was drunk. i did not/could not consent.” that’s a risk you run when having sex with someone under the influence.”

    The message here seem to be that men should act responsibly to AVOID SITUATIONS where they run the risk of being accused of rape.

    So it seems that it’s ok to send out messages that can be construed as blaming the victim, as long as we don’t identify with the victim.

    It’s ok to tell men to avoid situations that might lead to rape accusations, and it’s ok to tell them that if they fail to take those precautions, they only have themselves to blame if they’re accused of rape.

    That’s not blaming the victim

    But advising women to take steps to reduce the risk of being raped is blaming the victim.

    Whenever I witness this kind of hypocrisy in the context of rape discussions, my feelings about women who make rape accusations move further away from empathy and closer towards apathy.

    We’re not going to find a solution that teaches people to make better decisions about sex if calmer and more rational heads don’t wrest control of the issue out of the hands of the partisan extremists on both sides.

  • ArabellaMichaela

    Well, a friend of mine commented on this aricle on Facebook. I am gong o piggyback on her comment.
    No. Ma’lik was definitely not “lucky.” Ma’lik is a kid, a minor, and his future life as a productive, working adult is over. The reason it’s over is that if this kid has to register as a “sex offender” that label will follow him for the rest of his life. Any routine background check by a future employer will turn up “sex offender.” This kid can forget getting a job in the future or even renting an apartment. That label will follow him until death. There is no way in hell that this is fair. Hopefully, this kid will be exonerated on appeal. And, by the way, they may have saves the girl’s life since she had a history of getting drunk to the point of unconsciousness. Maybe now, she’ll stop that behavior.
    about an hour ago

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    Bingo! Furthermore, I would add that JUST because you dated or had sexual relations in the pass does NOT mean you have open season on a woman’s body. So many men still believe that just because they are an ex they don’t need permission or they can touch you any kind of way when they shouldn’t! So many people still don’t understand or lack education about sexual inappropriateness/crimes. Too many people think rape/sexual assault happens when a seedy stranger hides behind the bushes and stalks a woman and assaults them brutally or the strange person lurking somewhere luring a person into a trap when that is not always the case. I can’t tell you how many stories I hear where sexual assault occurred but the person didn’t realize they were assaulted. But this case and whole incident was just beyond words so many wrongs, events/ lack of decisions making and lack of guidance and interference from adults/bystanders was just horrible. These two boys are not the only wrong individuals in this case but many others and I hope the DA continues to look in this case because I feel a lot more people need to be charged.

  • Dave

    And how does that excuse you for not locking the door? Personal responsibility is usually not enforced by law.

  • Okay

    Job. Link to an article or statistic proving that most acquaintance rape involves alcohol? If its not reported then how do we know its true? By just taking your word for it?

  • ArabellaMichaela

    Lol!
    I meant to say ” I am going to piggyback on her comment.”
    Also meant to say: “They may have saved the girl’s life.”
    This is a case where the punishment simply far exceeded the crime. Those boys did not deserve to have their entire lives ruined over “digital penetration” of this drunken girl.
    Just my opinion (as an attorney).
    Apologies for the hilarious typos!

  • http://shescribe.com Shireese

    I pretty much agree with the author, other than the statment about race. I really wish she would have left race out of it. The way she highlighted Richmond as lucky because is a black and the victim is white, to me makes it seem like white girls are more valuable that girls of other races. Would he still be lucky is he raped a black girl? Yes I understand the racial history in this country, but in this case focusing on race does more to perpetuate the ills of our racial history, than good. Rape is rape, wrong is wrong, regardless of the victim.

    If you think this kid got off easy it should be because you think the punishment didn’t fit the crime, not because he’s black and the victim is white.

  • Courtney**

    You’re really, really dumb. Heartless and disgusting too… but mostly dumb.

  • KMO

    I think I can simplify this.

    There’s a teenage girl blitzed out of her mind at a party and a group of guys see this and think the best thing to do in that situation is sexually violate her, take plenty of pictures and video, send the proof out into the world of the internet, and brag about their crime on social media as if they had just won a friggin’ football game instead of rape a young girl.

    I don’t have the slightest bit of sympathy for anybody except for the girl. You’d be hard pressed to find someone who, at that age, didn’t make irresponsible and reckless decisions. Getting wasted at 16 is irresponsible. Rape is sick and demented whatever age you are, however good at football you are, however inebriated/irresponsible your victim is, and regardless how much of your buddies might egg you on to do it.

  • Sue_Me

    I agree, anyone who gets that intoxicated does not care about their well being.

  • http://gravatar.com/jamesfrmphilly jamesfrmphilly

    she is 16….

  • SHERMDAWG8350

    I do not think anyone was even close to being lucky. The victim is psychologically injured for life. Yes there is counseling, therapy, etc., however there is no guarantee it will be successful and she will go on to live a normal life. I hope it does, but only time will tell. As for the delinquents; their life is over. First of all, they will probably get sub-par treatment in whatever facility they wind up in; second, they will be registered sex offenders for life, thereby ending any hope for a normal life. Their options will be either public assistance or criminal behavior. Jobs, dwellings or anything that can help them become productive members of society are definitely off of the table. Combine that with the possibility of civil action, they might have been better off being hanged. That being said, no one is lucky! Everyone involved is in for a hard road. There are absolutely no winners here, (except for the privatized penal system, their profits just went up).

  • http://twitter.com/vonknight Von

    The comment about race was spot on. As a black male in history doing andything toward a white female, the highest sentence or punishment was issued. But, I also understand where that person is coming from for pointing out it makes white woman seem more valuable than any other race. In theory it is appealing and defeats the purpose of pursuing equality amounts races, but in reality look at history and you will see the pattern of black men getting more years in prison than their other races counterparts.

    It’s a super touchy subject and always will be, but that doesn’t mean you have to or can ignore it. He IS lucky whether or not he is labeled a sex offender. Many sex offenders can get a job, house, apartment, and live normal lives. Google and do a search of sex offenders in your area, you will be surprised at how many live within your general area and act as functioning members of society. No ones life is necessarily over, if they can see the wrong in their actions and keen from it.

    What I will say is the victim and her parents should also be frowned upon. She wasn’t literally asking to be sexually assaulted that night, but she put herself in a situation where it could happen. 16 and being a heavy drinker anywhere for anyone should be addressed everywhere. Especially In this case where the alcohol was provided by the adults. There are numerous stories about females drinking until they pass out and get taken advantage of. Then there are numerous stories about men intentionally getting the female drunk and or drug her, to take advantage of her. In this case, I believe they took the opportunity. Not saying these kids aren’t, what they did to her was horrible, you just have to look at the situation and base judgement from there. Some cases the victim is 100% the victim, and some cases they are not. It’s simple but then complicated. Guys should be taught not to do it, point blank. And gals should be taught to be aware of their actions and make sure you are not endangering yourself.

    I feel both guys got what they deserved as being trialed as minors. Heavy counseling and continuous counseling outside of juvi will suffice. Then if they do it again in the future, we can discuss the situation and harsher punishment.

    All in all, where the fuck are the parents?!

  • Blaque217

    My un-PC statement: No woman deserves to be raped. Period. But the drunken teenager needs to be held accountable for being a pathetic lush. Is she being forced to attend substance abuse classes or getting mental health treatment? Yes, the action of these boys were deplorable, but the young lady shouldn’t just be looked at as a victim. She was a contributor to this tragedy to a small degree.

  • Bernie

    Can someone tell me what P C represents?

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  • P

    Thanks for using most.

  • bernie

    Can you tell me what P C represents ?

  • lolala

    politically correct

    @blaque217
    she was a victim. she was not at all a contributor to this tragedy. in no way is being too drunk inviting rape. end of discussion.

  • Your Spirit, or Your Body

    @howardgirl

    Effing rocks.

    God bless your heart.

  • http://gravatar.com/luizamabaso The Writer!

    Because she’s white Ill speak…Ill be honest…I think people take advange of the because there white. I was on some black mans blog, the other day and a black rapper says that because she’s white you can tell her what to do.. OK..she comes and comments ans tell whoever let the blog post out that you dont know me..Ill tell you why aim commenting..
    Firstly these are children ok..and I think parents need to say something and Im one with a young black boy..
    The thing is I was on a black man blog that I wont mention..he said that white women, do as they say..and that there basically easy..what saddens me about that, is that I pray there not..because there monsters out here and like child molestation when it happens to you as a child, you don’t forget.
    White women need to understand why black women ignore some mens calls, ..ist because we know what he wants..and it hurts me that it happened to her..it hurts me that the black child that did this looks like my son..
    Ok im about to get honest
    The young lady that got hurt, she will never forget..she was a child and we all know how these thinsg affect us when were young. I still remebr when I was a child and my grandmother wet her dish cloth to hit me..these sort of things affefct use until adult hood..im 29 turning on 30..maybe 300..lol
    im hurt for her..where were the parents..people think that money grows children, that’s the thing.

  • Bernie

    What is Un-PC about the article am I missing something ?

  • Humanista

    Exactly! Everyone always says “kids will be kids”, but I’ve been a teenager before–(lol)–none of the stupid ish I’ve done (or the people I knew) were things that clearly hurt other people. NONE of them. Teenagers know the difference between right and wrong when it comes to hurting others.

  • E.M.S.

    Bob despite the fact we like to believe young men like these know better, they truly don’t. And I’ll tell you why: media.

    How many times are young boys exposed to movies, tv shows, and music portraying a man sexually assaulting an intoxicated woman? How many times are they taught that sexual aggression towards women shows they are men & they are entitled to behave as such? The concepts from rape culture are instilled in them at a young age & they manifest in these crimes.

    For them it’s not about what’s wrong in the eyes of the law, it’s about the assumed right they have the power to treat women however they please. That is what we must change.

    Does a serial killer care if it’s illegal to take lives as long as he knows he can do it and wants to? Same logic can be applied here.

  • Bernie

    what are roofies ?

  • aaliyah10

    @Blaque217

    Do the world a favor and never have kids. Please. You need to be in India with that stupidity

  • http://www.facebook.com/orphicdragon Trisha Lynn Dragon

    So Blaque217 lets say you’re driving home from work and you decide to be a moron and answer a text on your phone “real quick”. DOH you drift and smack into a phone pole.

    Some fella comes along, your out of it he see’s to you calls in the accident, just see’s to you in your time of need. He takes a few liberties and some photo’s and vids of those liberties.

    You’re not mad though right? Texting and driving is wrong. You know it’s wrong and you NEVER should have done it. Is it HIS fault you texted and drove and put yourself in a vulnerable state? No. If you hadn’t screwed up, he never would have had the opportunity to violate you.

    You’re cool with that right? It’s your own fault after all. You screwed up, so you can’t be a victim.

  • Beth

    If you read one of the early articles from the NYT, there’s a good chance she was given Rohypnol. It wasn’t part of the case b/c it would have been long out of her system by the time she and her family went to the police.

  • Bernie

    What do DOH and VIDS represent ?
    I ‘m old school .

  • Ivy

    @Blaque217

    Its un-PC completely… & I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE! I was always the DD in HS & College babysitting these silly girls who dressed like whores & drank like a fish… I dress like a lady & never drink more than a few (you have to know your limitations!). You can blame the media, parents, hs mentality or whatever but its simple to me… you want to be treated like a lady, ACT LIKE ONE! We have gone so far from the respectable Audrey Hepburns of the world that men/boys desire the slutty, drunk hoe bags (until looking for a wife of course) so, this is what girls try to be to snag a man. Its just sad…

    Blaque217 said it was UN-PC statement & should not be berated for her opinion…

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  • Ellie

    @Ivy

    Okay. I’m going to need you to read the words I’m writing and consider them very carefully:

    Drinking excessive amounts of alcohol may put you in a very precarious position (I agree), but it does NOT give people an excuse to rape you. Why are you going hard on the women and girls who (whatever mistake they’ve made) don’t deserve to be raped and doing/saying NOTHING about the boys who did this to her?

    Anyone can get sloppy drunk. /Anyone/. That behavior is NOT limited to “Silly girls who dressed like whores and drank like fish” (yet, I don’t hear you calling anyone else out for that sort of behavior??). But it takes a sick-minded person to even THINK that what those boys did to her was OKAY or DESERVED.

    We need to stop blaming victims. We need to stop teaching girls that it’s up to them to keep themselves from getting raped and that if they failed then they clearly “didn’t do the right thing” or “deserved it”. We as a community NEED to stop this sort of crap from happening from the get go. Stop shaming women on what they choose to wear or how they choose to drink and START teaching kids how to freakin’ CONTROL themselves and RESPECT others.

  • Ellie

    Guys, there’s a distinct difference between two sloppy-drunk people having sex and this situation where one party had a severe upperhand (not to mention, more control of their faculties if they not only remembered what happened way after the fact, but were aware enough to document the event) and the other party was barely (if at all) conscious.

    I’m not saying that people haven’t tried to cry rape to cover up something they considered embarrassing and shameful behavior…but when crap like this happens? When there’s evidence that this was NOT a consensual night of regrettable sloppiness, but proof that some sick jerks took advantage of someone who couldn’t defend herself? Do you really have to treat it like some sort of joke?

    I’m not denying that the girl made some mistakes that night, but no mistake she made negates the fact that what happened to her was wrong. No one deserves to have that happen to them. No matter how incapacitated they were.

  • Ellie

    Excuse me Serita Theresa? NO.
    That’s honestly a closed-minded and disgusting thought that says more about you than the entire group of people you’re trying to generalize.
    What happened to that girl was despicable and you’d better believe that MANY African-Americans are in outrage about the incident.
    Even more outraged that ALL parties involved in this weren’t charged.

    You blaming race does absolutely nothing but make you look ignorant.

  • Amy

    THANK U BLAQUE217. How can we not hold her accountable for her actions? Positive things dont happen when you get drunk. I dont know why people seem to forget the fact that she needs to watch her actions. If this stupid girl got drunk and ended up driving on the freeway that resulted in the death of an innocent person, then would we say that she is still not at fault??? Im am a black FEMALE who attends one of the top party school in CA. But never have I gotten drunk because I can only imagine how much danger I will be putting myself in.

  • goldenseal

    There is a HUGE difference between getting drunk and getting behind the wheel, and getting drunk and getting raped. One you choose to do, the other is FORCED upon you.

  • Amy

    @goldenseal. No one FORCED her to drink alcohol either. Lets stop looking at only the RESULT and pay more attention to the CAUSE. Personally I don’t feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for the people who have been raped because they were young, were kidnapped, or were drugged. I bet she will never touch a drink again!

  • http://yahoocom Antonio Roach

    the

  • http://yahoocom Antonio Roach

    The thing here is she shouldnt have been drinking. She was underage and couldnt handle it. Why does she get a free pass as if she was at home and these two boys kicked i the door and raped her? Im not at all PC and at most parties ive been to that would have happened. But im 37 and if a girl was at one of our “parties” then she knew what was up and drunk or not she “partied”. Hell ive seen other girls pressure their unwilling friends to get in the “party”. I know how these things go down and i will bet my next pay check this isnt the first time she got drunk passed out and did things she had to be reminded of. She is a drunk slut who got filmed and had to cover it up before mommy and daddy found out how much of aslut she was so cue the rape word. Oh but lets kiss the poor little victims ass cause she will never forget it. Seems to me she cant remember it either. You women get piss ass drunk and then expect the world around you and the people in it not to act like the flawed creatures that we are. Hoping all men will turn into Jacob or Edward and be your protector while you disgrace your drunk stupid ass all over the place. Keep thinking that and come to one of our “parties”. We dont videotape.

  • Anonymous

    You sound like a rapist

  • Stephanie

    “Keep thinking that and come to one of our “parties”. We dont videotape” …wow… you just admitted to being a rapist.

    …you need to re-evaluate your life

  • Maggie

    37 and you’re that dumb?

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