On Behalf of Little Boys Growing Up Too Fast

by Janelle Harris

Lil’ Poopy

There’s no valid reason why a 10-year-old boy should have his hands, or any other part of his tiny little person, on the rear end of a grown woman. There’s no valid reason why a grown woman should allow a 10-year-old boy to inappropriately put his hands on her rear end. And yet we’ve seen the debauchery play out just like that, in the YouTube videos and online infamy of Lil’ Poopy, an unfortunately named prepubescent rapper who is grabbing cheeks and bringing the ruckus, one booty smack at a time.

Dethroning other pocket-sized offenders like Lil’ Wayne and Luda for the title of hip-hop’s smallest misogynist was easy. Silencing the backlash against his dad, Luis Rivera, might be a little harder. The Brockton, Mass. police have (rightfully) filed a complaint, inciting the state’s Department of Children and Families to investigate Poopy’s father for possible abuse or neglect. First thing defenders say—after slapping him high-five for palming the rump of gals ostensibly old enough to be his babysitter, if not his mama—is that no one involved in this hotmessness has violated any laws. In fact, it’s within his little 10-year-old First Amendment rights to be able to artistically express himself.

Mmm. That may be true. But anyone worth their moral salt knows that sometimes what’s legal permissible and what’s ethically upright doesn’t always jibe. And they ain’t jibing in this case.

Let’s pretend that this was a little girl aspiring to be a rapper, outfitted in all of the stereotypical accoutrements of rapper-dom, including an entourage of groupies. (I could launch into a whole other rant just about the chicks lending themselves to these videos and being willing participants in this filth.) If a grown man were to thrust his johnson anywhere near her, even rub up against her suggestively we, as a community, would pounce. We would verbally pulverize the videographer, call for the blood of the director, set the homegrown studio on fire, boycott the label and call her parents everything but children of God. We would rally for the protection of her innocence and virtue.

But this is a boy, and boys are encouraged to start knocking chicks off as soon as they can learn what to do with an erection. It may not be verbalized outright, but the atta boy spirit that undergirds their sexual activity, no matter how early, makes it par for the male libido course. It’s just part of a guy being a guy.

I know a dude who got head from two girls when he was six. Not one, but two girls. Not when he was sixteen, but six. Who was in the first grade having oral sex threesomes? He laughs during the retelling of the story—I think he’s almost proud—but I was horrified to hear that two little girls would even think, to even know, to do that. He had gotten his first taste of freak before he was even old enough to cross a street by himself.

Grabbing a handful of tush is a demonstration of male bravado. But in Lil’ Poopy’s case, it marks a double standard in the hypersexualization of boys, that folks are willing to grab torches and pitchforks when it comes to the violation of young women but consider that same behavior a rite of passage when it comes to young men. Sexual exploitation is sexual exploitation is sexual exploitation. His videos have since been stripped from YouTube, but I suspect dad is too busy making money off of him to really be daunted by the controversy. Their little program of crazy will continue.

I don’t have a son. And as the time winds down on my biological clock, it looks like I never will. But I’d like to think I’d expect him to have the same level of respect for his body and his sexuality as I want for my girl child.

God willing, Lil’ Poopy will mature into a teenager and an adult, and these things that he has learned as a child will be exercised in grown manly fashion against someone’s daughter. And the objectification he mastered so early—that was never cute in the first place—will be even less cute when he’s passed the advanced course in perversion. I mean, when you’ve been smacking up, flipping and rubbing down grown lady booty since elementary school, it’s pretty safe to assume he’ll be well beyond his years in sexual maturity. We’ll blame him for being a pig and devaluing women and call him out for being an assortment of wrongs. But we’ll have to remember how he was unprotected as a little boy and where he got his first misguided lessons.

  • Orange Starr Happy Hunting

    But I’d like to think I’d expect him to have the same level of respect for his body and his sexuality as I want for my girl child.

    ^ THIS.

  • http://tontonmichel.tumblr.com Tonton Michel

    With a father like that the future is not bright for this kid.

  • ChaCha1

    Some people–like this boy’s father–do not need children at all. There’s always been this attitude that boys need to be exposed to things of sexual nature, and be ‘little men’, and that it is perfectly ok. It is not ok. Its horrible that people want to teach their sons behavior like this. How is it not wrong to let a boy touch a woman like that? What kind of father would let it happen, and what woman would allow it? There is no way this dad would let his little girl be in a video where she was touching a man’s butt, thigh or rubbing his abs, and any man in the video would probably be under investigation or something.

  • http://gravatar.com/langisketches Leo the Yardie Chick

    I’ve heard of parents living vicariously through their children, but this is disgusting. Every single adult involved in this needs some sense shaken into them.

  • Come On

    This is disgusting. In what way, shape, or form is this okay? There are so many people not fit to be parents. The problem is that so many women do jump up and shout when this happens to a girl, but as you mentioned men have that atta boy attitude and tell other concerned men and women that they are overreacting and that boys will be boys. I don’t know why people take the mental and psychological development of children so lightly. Why do they insist on making children grow up too fast? It’s sick.

  • Forget About It

    Why should these grown women allow this young boy to put his hands on their behinds? These women are enabling his behavior, if you really think about it. He is the victim at the hands of these trifling women, and his father.

  • Hmmmm

    dont you know….they are victims too….

  • http://gravatar.com/keimia Kam

    I can’t watch the video, I just can’t, but from the way I’ve heard it described, there were adults all around when this was happening and no one stepped in? I mean for it to get to this point, no one said anything before then? No “Hey, maybe this is inappropriate.” or “Hey, I wonder if this will break any laws” or “Hey, maybe a little child shouldn’t be smacking booties and rapping about drugs” ? A massive fail all around on all the adults both male and female.

  • The Moon in the Sky

    They are teaching him to be a little n*gga already.

  • Kay

    *sigh* The stupidity of some parents amazes me. He is doing his son a grave disservice by encouraging him to emulate an adult role waaaay to soon. And not only that, he’s teaching his son that women are only here for his pleasure and are disposable. Believe me, he’s internalizing this. And why is there such an emphasis on him being a “thug”? Why can’t they have a cute music video where he’s a doctor, lawyer, etc. His father is setting his son up to believe that in order to gain respect you have to be a bad boy. People may think being a “bad boy,” is cute when he’s a kid. But bad boys grow up into mal-adjusted adults who have a no respect for authority or boundaries.

  • Come On

    I read somewhere that Russell Brand’s father used to take him to visit prostitutes when he was a boy. Your argument is like fussing that these prostitutes are most of the problem instead of his horrible scumbag father.

    If that had been a little black girl with a bunch of men around her and her mother orchestrated the whole thing, I highly doubt you would disagree with my statement that some people should not be parents and that the biggest problem in the child’s life is the mother not the men. Are they a big problem? Yes. Why do they think this is okay?

    But who hurts these children more? The immoral prostitutes and video women paid to do these things or the parent who paid the women and took the child there to be hurt by these people?

    In short, I agree that these women are trifling, but the father is worse. If you see that as me painting women as victims, it’s probably because you’re one of those people that thinks that everything is about men vs. women.

  • GeekMommaRants

    If this were a girl, the charge of child sexual abuse would be hurled at the parents. There is no difference IMO between an abused girl or an abused boy. When this child is older he may feel as if he was abused by his family. Think Gary Coleman.

  • MommieDearest

    As the mother of a young son I appreciate this article. This little boy is being sexualized and at the same time being “trained” to be a sexualizer (yes, I made that word up) himself. Every adult involved in this fuqqery needs jail time for contributing to the deliquency of a minor. It boggles the mind that some folks actually think this kind of behavior is OK. This country is on its way to hell in a handbasket.

  • Anthony

    Hmmmm… a grown woman who lets a boy touch her inappropriately is not a victim of anything but her own stupidity. Even if she is a full blown crackhead prostitute, she can get some money from a grown man, and not let a kid fondle her. As the author said, would you call a man a victim if he let a ten year old girl touch his penis?

    If a little boy is used to grabbing grown women’s asses, why on earth would he have any respect for his teacher, especially if she is young and attractive?

    I also agree with the author that it is sad that a six year old was getting head. He needed to be reading a book or playing ball and so did the little girls who were on him. Those little girls had probably been sexually abused by an older male or they had trifling parents who let them see things that were inappropriate.

  • P

    This is further proof that some people will do anything for money and within that process, the children are being destroyed.

    The little boys and the girls are growing up too fast. It’s because the parents who fall into this category desire to be “seasonal” parents whenever it’s monetarily beneficial or convenient. Children are a product of their environment and with a destructive blueprint to follow – it is hard to deter them from that destruction. When I initially came across this incident, I cringed. Another child’s future (possibly) dimmed because of the greed and senseless parents.

    Again, this is why I constantly ask what type of environment is the child in? Depends upon WHO are raising these kids, it is truly a recipe for disaster. They know they shouldn’t become parents, but some are too selfish by desiring a personal buddy, my lil bro, or treating their daughter as a lil sister – NO..this is the failure.

    We need to hold needs boys at the same standard as girls when it comes to sexuality. I am glad the state filed a complaint. This is truly a sad situation.

  • GlowBelle

    This isn’t artist expression, this is child abuse.

    10 years old is now the new 20 years old and that thought just sickens me. What happened to childhood? Kids don’t play, have an imagination, or do “kid” things anymore. He’s 10, he needs to be on a sports team, collecting action figures, or playing games on the computer, thinking girls have cooties…he needs to be A CHILD, not a pint-sized Lil’ Wayne. It seems that these days once you’re able to talk and walk you’re a full-fledged grown-up and everyone should treat you that way. Hell no. I blame the stupid father for this foolishness (and where is the mother, is she weak and stupid too?). We always talk about how more Black fathers need to be in the home, and this fool is at home but doing fatherhood ALL wrong. He should be guiding his son to do better and to think better than this, and to treat women with respect, that ‘thug life’ and the glorification of it is just BS that is on the road to ruin. This poor child is in trouble.

  • http://melodymoose.deviantart.com/ Catpopstar

    I figure its just a case of adults thinking kids doing adult things is adorable, but why wouldn’t that stop at sexual things? How is that adorable instead of creepy?

  • mEE

    every single guy I know, including my boyfriend, had their first sexual experiences (and I’m talking penetration) when they were in single digits. every single one. I just don’t understand. and all the girls were older too…but still not old enough to even be doing that.
    it’s CRAZY. my boyfriend (who first had sex at 9 with a 13 yr old) actually told me he didn’t even consider it sex or losing his virginity until he was in his 20s when he really thought about what happened.

    smh I’ll pray for this kid. bc it’s one thing for it just to happen bc of lack of supervision or whatever, but it’s another for adults to be encouraging this mess.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    Bingo! Some people have it so backwards when it comes to raising little boys, especially in this instance because right now they are treating this child as a man but I BET when he grows up more than likely they will baby him and he will grow into a “man-child” like so many men out here today. Sad that a lot of people don’t let little boys be children then in turn raised them into men but these same parents are quick to say, “I don’t know what happened, theseyoung black men today, blah blah, blah…” I so agree that kids today aren’t kids anymore and sadly aren’t allowed to be in many cases, a great disservice have been done to this generation.

  • Anthony

    @Come on: this discussion should not be a competition between who is worse, the father or the video women. Clearly the father takes most of the blame, but grown women, who are likely moms themselves, have to take ownership of their foul behavior. It’s not like they were making a mint letting their butts get rubbed for one YouTube video. There had to be a better way to make a few bucks than to participate in corrupting a child. As the old falls used to say they are making this boy “mannish,” and he will end up with no respect if he is not sternly corrected.

  • Anthony

    mEE, I’m no psychologist, but I am thinking older girls having sex with little boys is some sort of way of trying to come to terms with being sexually violated themselves. They probably feel they can understand or control the younger boys in way they could not with the older males who had sex with them. It may also be that once a girl has been raped, having sex with a smaller boy is seen by them as an appropriate way to express fondness that would have been shown in a much healthier way under different circumstances. I’m some interesting research has been done on this question.

  • http://gravatar.com/chanela17 chanela17

    i see parents do that all the time! when they have a male infant/baby/toddler and he grabs a woman’s breast or butt then people brag about how the little boy is gonna be a pimp when he gets older.. it’s not cute. AT ALL. it’s just like when little kids curse and everyone thinks its cute and that their kid is “hard” smh

  • The Moon in the Sky

    “Sad that a lot of people don’t let little boys be children”

    One day it occurred to me that I often hear certain parents refer to boys as ‘little man’. I was on MN on an article about Wiz Khalifa’s newborn baby and someone in the comments was already referring to his newborn baby as a ‘young man’.

    I have a friend on Facebook who refers to her sons as ‘little men’ even though the eldest one just turned 10. I never hear people refer to girls as ‘little women’.

  • http://gravatar.com/chanela17 chanela17

    right! i know someone else who brags to everyone that he first had sex at the age of 9 with a 16 year old girl. wtf? and he sees nothing wrong with that. when i expressed shock then hes like “yeah i was a hot little boy!” um.. that’s nothing to brag about. that’s SICK. why the hell would a 16 year old girl want anything to do with a 9 year old in that way?

    i also hear men talking all the time about how they wished that their elementary school teacher or babysitter would have taken advantage of them. how backwards is that?? once again, EVERYONE is okay with this! everyone applauds. just look at the movie “that’s my boy” the movie is all about how this little boy became famous worldwide for getting his young pretty teacher pregnant while he was 12. smh

  • LMO85

    Re: Your last sentence….
    Or themselves.

  • Come On

    I agree that these women should take ownership of their foul behavior. I just saw nowhere in my comment where I said they shouldn’t be held accountable. They should. The other commenters made this a comment about who is worse.

  • http://gravatar.com/greendoondoon greendoondoon

    Thankfully, my son, who will be 10 years old next month, is still a little kid. He doesn’t care about wearing designer clothes and shoes, or really how he looks. He’s happiest in a pair of jeans and a cartoon tee shirt, watching cat videos on the internet and goofing around. He thinks girls are weird and thinks they all look alike. He still sleeps with stuffed animals! He’s just a kid and that’s something I like about him.

    We all knew those “mannish” little boys who knew far too much for their age. I never thought that stuff was cute.
    I think some of the problem is that black children aren’t ever allowed to be children. Think about it for a minute.

  • Come On

    Yep. Like a year ago there was an incident where this male teacher left his wife and family to shack up with this teenager who was the same age as his daughter. Everyone was outraged. Not long after, this female teacher was arrested for having sex with a male student. You should have seen the comments. Most of the men were making jokes about how lucky the boy was and how awesome it was.

  • Anthony

    OK

  • Anthony

    I don’t have a problem with the fantasy about a teacher or the babysitter. If things are functioning properly, it will stay a fantasy because a the boy will know better than to approach the older person, and the woman or older girl will know how to ignore a kid who has a crush. I have no doubt that girls have crushes and fantasies about older boys and young men too. Once again these adolescent fantasies are cool if the parties involved know their boundaries.

    As for the guy who thinks he was hot at nine, he is clueless. I guess some men do truly think with the little head.

  • Anthony

    One small point for the author: Lil’ Wayne and Ludacris are fully grown men, not kid rappers.

  • http://Clutch SL

    The fact that your 10yr old is still an innocent little boy who is largely thanks to you. Our children are ALWAYS a reflection of their parent(s). The child in these videos comes from someone who has emphasized and glorified sex and drugs in his own life. I don’t want to even venture to think about how this child was conceived.

    These people don’t have any moral base or code and they breed and raise kids who reflect that darkness.

    His father should be charged with child abuse and the women who encourage this child to engage in sexual foreplay should be charged with sex abuse of a minor.

    DCPS should remove this child from the custoday of his parents and permanently revoke their parental rights for prostituting their son.

  • http://gravatar.com/greendoondoon greendoondoon

    Oh thank you! I really appreciate your kind words. His dad and I try our best to make sure he’s raised correctly.

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  • Marisa

    Once again proof positive that once again while almost everyone can be a parent not everyone should be a parent.

  • REAL WOMAN

    This is what you call borderline pedophilia.

  • DollB

    Maybe it’s just me but no one wonders why it’s ok to explain that a 6 year “got head” from another little girl? The language seemed a bit inappropriate…

  • RC

    No, the ACT is what was inappropriate, that’s why you should be upset about! She’s writing for an adult audience here. Would you have felt better if she said “I know a dude who got fellated by 2 girls when he was six”? What I want to know is where was that boy’s *mother* when this demonic mess went down? No Sistah in her right mind have stood for that!

  • mEE

    Yes Anthony I definitely think you’re right. I’m sure there were a lot of things, such as abuse, going on with those little girls as well that no one knew about…probably stemming from the same culprit, lack of parental supervision.

    what baffled me was that it could even take place. I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t have sexual urges at 9yrs old…even though at that age I wouldn’t categorize them that way. I distinctly remember being in the 4th grade and purposely leaning over my crush Daniel, trying to get him to smell the perfume I stole from my older sister and brush my body up against his. …but could we have sex? hell no! when? where? HOW? I wasn’t even thinking about that and my parents had a lojack on my behind. even if I wanted to, I would have had to work very hard to get the opportunity.

    the fact that my boyfriend didn’t even realize he was having sex at the time (and for years after) shows that perhaps on both their parts there was a misunderstanding and a type of innocence surrounding the act. but how were they even alone long enough for something like that to happen? smh and of course I wonder what effect that has had on his sexual development and understanding of intimacy.

  • zena

    I agree with SL. It was great reading that. I love it when children are allowed to just be children. Kudos to you and his father.

  • ChaCha1

    Clutch, since this has been up for a full day, can you take down the booty smacking picture, please??

  • SL

    You’re welcome! It’s important to acknowledge that our kids become (in large part) who we raise them to be. I do not think it is an accident that my siblings and I turned out the way we are – parents are ALWAYS the first influence over their children.

    I have a 12yr old girl who is very much a little girl. She’s not into boys or a myriad of things that other little 12yr old girls are already into. Her favorite thing is watching anime cartoon and Laurel & Hardy with her dad on the weekends. She likes to sleep in our bed and still plays with her dolls. Most 12yr old girls are long past that.

    We guided her media exposure early. She hasn’t been raised on a steady diet of rap and music videos.

    Like you and your husband, we’ve made a conscience decision to guide her the best we can and we don’t make any apologies for trying to protect her from the onslaught of negative, perverse and confusing messages aimed at kids and young people.

    We are soldiers in a cultural war that is claiming the minds and souls of young people. We might be few in number, but we are here!!!!

  • Ms. Vee

    This just continues to reinforce my belief that the people that have no business procreating seem to do it the most. This foolishness is the key example of parents using their children as meal tickets regardless of the consequences that they bring to their children’s future (example lil’ mouse and mother). This is wrong on so many levels and it wont be the last occurrence. Lastly, mainstream rap music of today is garbage. I will celebrate the day it dies.

  • noaddedsugar

    I do believe that encouraging this behavior (the objectification and sexualising of women) in young men and boys will have a negative effect on the girls and woman they come into contact with in the future as it. Both in the relationships they are able to build with one another and on the girls self image.

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