Porsha RHOA

Normally, I don’t have much in ways of interest for Bravo’s Real Housewives of Atlanta. It’s a silly, fun show full of cringe-inducing people and a few glamour-pusses flouncing around and twirling. But this season has piqued my interest, but for one reason and one reason alone — granddaughter of a civil rights activist and wife of former pro-football star Kordell Stewart – loveable ditz Porsha Stewart.

Porscha is not the brightest bulb in the lamp, but I love her. And not ironically. I LOVE HER. And I’m publicly declaring it to be so! I would like to brush her weave and help her pick out outfits. But I love her specifically because she is the first time I’ve ever seen a black woman play the role of “Pretty, Pretty Pampered and Protected Princess” on television.

Black women historically get to be mules in both the media and real life. We get to be sapphires and jezebels and mammies and the best BFFs of the white hero with no lives of our own. We get to be video hoes. We get to be in the background. (Even though we’re quite diverse, multidimensional and awesome.) But Porsha is essentially a pretty, pretty princess version of screwball Lucille Ball with Kordell as her slightly-controlling, but possibly harmless father-figure Ricky Ricardo.

And that is refreshing by virtue of it being both different and necessary. It’s like a lesser version of what you get with Michelle Obama planting a garden at the White House. Typically the role of a black woman in the White House is cleaning it. Now it’s running it. “Who cares if she doesn’t practice law!” says all the black women tired of having to carry everything and be all things to all people all the time. You just want to see her dote on her kids, love her husband and run things with positivity and sophistication because YOU NEVER GET TO SEE THIS ON SUCH A LARGE SCALE.

She’s on magazine covers! She’s an icon! People admire her for her brains and beauty! Oh! Oooo! Me next! ME NEXT, PLEASE! Sez a generation of black women.

Once upon a time a white female friend of mine told me black women would grow to resent the pedestal if we got put on it and my response, on behalf of all black women was, “LEMME GET UP THERE AND SEE IF IT SUCKS AND THEN I’LL TELL YOU ABOUT IT.”

Porsha is up there and there is where I want … nay, need her to stay.

Black women don’t always get the pedestal treatment, so when one of us gets up on there and gets to be the paragon of womanly virtue and perfection, you’ll fight for that woman to stay up on there in hopes that other black women — even you — will be not just respected, but celebrated for your choices in education, career and family. Even if you’re not deep like Nikki Giovanni.

So, in some ways, I’m fighting for silly Porsha because I love that she’s just an innocent goofball and gets to be the innocent goofball because it’s so rare to see that publicly — a black woman trophy wife who is not broken or angry or bitter, but goofy and happy to be here. Happy to wear the dress. Happy to play house. Happy to be happy, bouncing around without a natural care in the world.

After episode whatever it was, when she was just trying on dresses for her husband’s birthday party, it dawned on me I could watch Porsha twirl around in cocktail dresses all day, talking about having twins on command (as if science would allow such a thing, oh Porsha!) and thinking this child is too shallow to be real. Porsha — trying and failing then kind of succeeding in babysitting. Porsha, being ordered to try wine instead of ordering a Sprite because mentally, she’s still a kid and wine is GROWN PEOPLE DRANK. (Porsha is not grown.) Porsha’s little feud with Kenya Moore that seems more harmless and high school-like than degrading and offensive like most black lady fights on reality TV. (Case in point: Team Stallion Booty versus Team Donkey Booty versus society wanting to poke out eyeballs.)

To Porsha, I say, never change. You HOLD ON to that little girl, child-like, innocent spirit inside of you and stay goofy and … um … mentally uncomplicated. If someone tells you that you need to be “deep” or “stand for something” tell them to SHUT UP. Your protest is by existing. Black people were brought to this country in chains to work for free. Every day you choose to wear a $1,000 dress while doing nothing is a damn protest against The Man. (This goes for all other black people who chose to do whatever they please with their lives post-Emancipation. Fall in love! Get married! Get educated! Drink champagne at noon! It’s all a protest, people! Being free is a form of protest! So … protest responsibly!)

Just because some black women might be intellectually incurious doesn’t mean they should die horrible deaths or face dire fates and diminishing prospects. Everybody can’t be (or has the capacity to be) Coretta Scott King, but you can honor her memory by being nice, not embarassing and finding other ways to represent Team Black Woman and her junior squad, Team Black Girl.

So I say, Lawd, let this child have this! I need it for her. And by her, I mean me. It’s hard out here on these streets. Let’s let some sister get the easy route, then pat her on the back for winning the genetic lottery that got her there. If it turns out the pedestal is wack, believe me, we’ll let you know.

Do you agree? Disagree? If you disagree and think it’s a bad look for any black woman to take a break from full-time battlemode to be a goofnugget on Bravo I respect your opinion, but you’re also why WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS! I’m kidding, of course, but not kidding …

 

blacksnob

This post originally appeared on Black Snob. Republished with permission. For more of Black Snob please visit blacksnob.com

 

  • Princess Di

    Ummmm…I got nothing.

  • Sasha

    I agree with you 100% Snob and love you for this (love is a bit creepy but I really like Porsha and you’ve articulated why in a way I wasn’t able to). Never change Porsha!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/alena.redwine Alena Redwine

    I somewhat agree that her life is not as complicated as the other ladies. She enjoys being a wife and having her husband lead the way. While some times he is over protective, I get it. She loves him and and he loves her the end.

  • Skye

    I love her too. She’s silly and harmless that’s what draws you in to her. I couldn’t get over them being so hard on her because she doesn’t work. This show is called, “Real Housewives” I’m like huh are you guys on the right show. Then the next breath their like I wish a man would take care of me then why bash Porsha. Although, I agree Cordell is too controlling and cuts her off too much.

  • Chika

    Uuuum…no. I am not about to intellectualize the ridiculousness that is the Real Housewives series. I don’t care how “silly” or “harmless” Prosha’s character is. Just stop it.

  • Erin

    Well she is the epitome of a “Housewife”… A ditzy trophy-wife that doesn’t work or do anything to make her own money while she is controlled by her overprotective husband because she allows him to do so. It’s sort of like she’s okay with that because she can’t do anything else… She’s not my favorite at all, but she is gorgeous because she has to be in order to maintain her lifestyle.

  • ….

    I actually liked her at the beginning of the show and then one episode something just switched inside of me and I couldn’t stand her. I just feel like shes never talking about anything of substance and her segments are boring. Being fun,ditzy, ect. is fine and dandy (im sure behind closed doors michelle, coretta, and nikki are/were goofy as well) but im sorry a person needs to have some depth and substance.

  • Rakel

    I don’t watch a lot of tv and I never watch reality tv. But from this article I already like Ms. Porsha’s personality. It’s nice to hear that a Black woman is carefree and loving her life. That is always a beautiful thing to hear. We’ve always had to fight the good fight. If she doesn’t I’m happy for her. Black women are not monolithic, glad to see different personality types represented even if I don’t watch lol.

  • JAZ

    On a side note, that Nelly song is terrible!!!

  • Me

    OMG I thought I was alone! I don’t LOVE her like you do lol but the 1st few episodes I was like well this is refreshing! Finally an actual Black housewife just living the life of luxury. People don’t say anything to the housewives of OC or NJ but the black women on RHOA always throw Porscha shade because she doesn’t work and I know viewers agree with them. But I’m like HELLO let her be a ditzy housewife!

    I was raised by a single black mother and we lived an upper-class lifestyle and my whole life I learned you gotta do for yourself and I will…but at the same time living upper-class (and not to say this is only prevalent in upper-class) showed me that there are men who take care of their families and that is what I want. I want to have the option of giving up my career and being a housewife and have my husband take care of me if i choose. If my husband respects me I will honor him and his decisions. I will happily stand behind him.

    I don’t like that so many women today are afraid risk that. To each their own, but if Porscha wants to live like a princess and follow her husband then I simply love it because he comes off as a decent person. There’s too many tales and movies of “If you blindly trust your black husband he will trap you cheat on you beat you mistreat you and leave you for a light skinned or white woman and it will be all YOUR fault.” (Thanks Tyler Perry -_-)

    I’ve SEEN in my life that this is not the popular case and love that RHOA has Porscha to display this to ppl who may not see this in their own lives. Black women can be independent and fierce and ditzy and bitchy and matronly and everything in between. No biggie.

  • theafropologist

    I especially love that Porsha is not pretentious like some of her other co-stars and fellow reality t.v. characters, she is genuinely about her life! While the notion of black women as Superwomen is always empowering, it’s also refreshing and feminizing to see us as Lois Lane.

  • http://gravatar.com/beejcee beejcee

    Thank you for this article Ms. Snob. The last episode and the one to come the ladies a going to “come at Porsha” because she doesn’t work. As you and someone else said, she is a housewife not a “housewife” there is a difference. Nene is not married but living with her ex-husband, Kandi has never been married and living with her boyfriend/fiancé, Kenya is looking for a man. Cynthia and Phaedra it appears, may not be so, but it appears are the bread winners. Leave Porsha alone, where I am from and how I grew up, she IS the ONLY housewife in all “reality”.

  • Z

    It is refreshing to see a BW in the pampered, princess, role but why does she have to be as dumb as bricks???

  • Guest1234

    I don’t like Porsha at all. She’s annoying. And she has that awful high-pitched chicken head voice. She’s just so darned annoying. But with regards to this posting. I find it troubling when black people want so bad to follow white people. Look. White women can go on TV and act like a ding bat if they want to. Why do we HAVE to want to copy them? That’s not a flattering portrayal, and it’s not a good look. On ANYBODY.

    I’m getting a little tired of the “White people do it, so it MUST BE GREAT!” attitude so many black people have.

    Also, as an aside, I don’t think she’s very pretty. I think that a lot of black people carry the notion that proximitiy to whiteness = inherent beauty. She’s pretty light skinned and has hair that hangs down and a lot of makeup. To me, that’s not de facto beautiful. Her face is kinda mousy (and of course the fact that I find her annoying as hell doesn’t help.) Now CYNTHIA, on the other hand!! That woman is GORGEOUS!

  • http://gravatar.com/beejcee beejcee

    The video model looks like a young Cynthia Bailey.

  • http://gravatar.com/beejcee beejcee

    Cynthia is very pretty. But she’s not smarter than Porsha.

  • Jeanette

    I like Portia. While black women do not portray this type of woman often, it has been done before: Hillary on the The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Lisa on Saved By The Bell, and Irene Cara as Alex Haley’s mother in Roots the Next Generation.

  • politicallyincorrect

    Its one thing to be pampered but being a moron is not cool

  • Amanda

    I totally agree…if I had it my way I may have gone the Porscha way, it’s hard being mentally complicated.Porscha’s way makes life easier.. If it makes her happy and entertains us than carry on my dear.

    Btw, I wish she had told Kenya to her face that if she knew how to treat a man the way Porscha treats Kordell, she’d have a husband too. I think alot of women need to hear that. It’s okay to cater to him as long as he deserves it. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you vulnerable there’s strength and love in vulnerability.

  • Isis

    I totally agree!! I wish I had that life

  • http://cupofjo-jo.blogspot.com bk chick

    Not so true regarding the shade and housewives of atlanta…If I recall correctly, Porsha is pretty much a carbon copy of Alexis Bellini (sp?) on RH of Orange County..and she got slayed by many other castmates for being ditzy and “kept”

  • ArabellaMichaela

    I sooo agree. I totally luv Princess Portia. I know other black women with that “well kept” life, but not many. I say good for them!

  • http://cupofjo-jo.blogspot.com bk chick

    I don’t think I could ever envy a woman who needs to be “told” what to do by her “King”..so I may be a bit biased here but there are things about Porsha that I did NOT like …and not necessarily based on her lifestyle. When she had the big blowout with Kenya, if you pay attention, she started the whole thing by antagonizing Kenya. Porsha also throws a lot of shade but gets a pass because she’s seemingly “ditzy”. She is not unlike the rest of the women. Also, I was super turned off by her hubby giving her some designer bag in the middle of a charity…blegh. I also think it’s a little unfair to compare Porsha to the other women because she is younger than all of them and recently married. The ditzy housewife thing is cute when you’re young and fun, but not so cute when you’re in your 40′s. Who’s to say what porsha’s marriage will look like 10 years from now?

  • MCM

    Don’t insult real women & especially the accomplished FLOTUS, not because she’s Flotus but because she always knew a meaningful life is better than a fake fairytale that Porsha is clearly to ignorant to explain most of the time. Kordel may have her on a pedestal, but a pedestal is for empty headed statues & trust any real woman can adore herself or don’t need to be the center of fake attention. Hopefully you were paid to write this article, handsomely by Porsha & hopefully young impressionable girls will not aspire to be scripted as Porsha for her reality TV but to compare her with the FLOTUS is a tacky insult in her role as such she has done more than support her husband & dote on the children because her strong presidential husband is allowing her too. She in her own none pretentious way had change what a healthy lifestyle mean for millions of children & families in America. If you want to play dress up doll baby with Porsha then by all means Im sure she would consent but she just a video vixen in designer labels, so degrading hiw clear it is that her husband don’t trust her judgment & got to rsise her. You raise your children not your spouse. Really Clutch magazine…

  • http://defendingmoney.wordpress.com Marketing Gimmicks

    There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a pampered black woman. But…

    Most black women will think: “Well good for f*cking her! And will attack Porsha where they’ll want it to hurt: her smarts and her perceived lack of independence And that’s quite sad.

    It’s no secret that many women cannot be happy for other woman who are blessed to find companionship in a provider and protector because it truly is not easy to be happy for someone else when you’re struggling. And let’s get honest. Most black women are struggling to keep it together on some level. (NOT ALL!)

    It’s unfortunate that many women cannot resist the urge to seethe or have a case of salty beans because being a protected and provided for Black woman by another black man is indeed a Unicorn these days.

    I believe that in many ways black women secretly long (although they don’t want to admit it) to not have to do it all and it’s a topic of further discussion that should be explored by Clutch.

    Quite honestly it’s wacksauce making the bacon, cooking the bacon and serving the bacon 24 damn 7. Having to do this day in and day out is wearing on the soul. Here we are as black women playing the position of both woman and man day in and day out normalizing and having to normalize it because of our lack of options.

    Admit it sisters….it sucks!!!

    There is no feeling like the feeling of knowing you don’t always have to be in charge. When you can be a full woman you aren’t as rough around the edges, you can be in touch with your softer side…you can just relax and just BE…and I think all women want that on some level so good for Porsha!!!

  • http://gravatar.com/beejcee beejcee

    I meant to say NO smarter than Porsha.

  • http://gravatar.com/gerigtg gerigtg

    Whitley Gilbert on A Different World!

  • ArabellaMichaela

    And, I would add to my previous comment: what woman wouldn’t want Porsha’s life? Honestly? She has everything and not a real care in the world. She doesn’t have to deal with a 9-5(or 6 or 7) to pay for anything herself. She doesn’t even have to look at the price tag. I have a psychotherapist friend who sees professional black women. And she tells me the dirty little secret is nobody really wants to work and deal with corporate a–holes, politics ( and bias). Well, Porsha doesn’t have to; and her husband loves her and keeps her in style. All she has to do is stay cute. Personally, as a person with 2 Ivy League degrees, I think Porsha is smart in the ways that really count for a woman.

  • noname

    you can be luxurious and have fun, but it is not cute to be a ditz and have no opinion of your own at 30 years old. I have no problem with her lifestyle, or the fact that she doesn’t work but not being able to use words correctly or not being “allowed” to order what you want to drink is a bit much and she should not be put on a pedestal for that. Stupidity should not be rewarded or revered.

  • Guest1234

    I’m wondering when these folks will notice that shes NOT on a pedestal. She ain’t even equal to her man, let alone placed above him.

    And that ain’t gonna be at all cute when she hits 40, has nothing, knows nothing, and he drops her dingy butt for a shiny new 25 year old ditz. And ya’ll know that’s coming.

  • Guest1234

    In fact, it just occurred to me. We have an example of what happens when the dumb trophy wife gets old and dumped. Her name was Sheree.

    Not cute, begging for that child support to finance your fashion shows/McMansions and other delusions of grandeur is it?

  • Nicole

    This piece right here is one of the reasons I LOVE Clutch. So extremely hilarious. Personally, I was not a HUGE Porsha fan until I read this and laughed out loud. She is extremely happy to be happy, and as a black woman on a pedalstal, you can only hold her to the highest regard.

    I feel you on wanting to brush her weave and watch her twirl in a dress all day. LOL! So hilarious. Porsha is definitely a diva and a princess to her castle. I can only respect it.

  • LadyP

    Not a fan of RHOA, so I’m not too familiar with Porsha’s personality. From this article, I can understand the love for her. Society will have the world to believe BW such as Porsha is a figment of our imagination. It is refreshing to see a BW live a (happy) pampered carefree lifestyle on reality tv. Otherwise, we will continue to believe being a black woman is hell (married or not), living a “woe is me” lifestyle or the majority of us are angry and bitter. Even with saying that, I still wonder if the majority of black women are able to possess Porsha’s personality (bouncing around/childlike). I think most BW were raised to not depend on anyone especially a man. I say this with still having a hardworker and provider as a father. It was always taught that it was for the best to have your own money even within a marriage.

    While I’m not angry or bitter, I must admit [for me], it would be a challenge to live such a pampered lifestyle. I have to do something…lol! I think because I have more of an independent spirit.

    sidenote – What a beautiful wedding – a tearjerker. I loved the father and son’s moments as well as the mother and son dance.

  • Tara

    When her husband told her that she needed to check Cynthia, he sounded a little rough. It sounded like a demand. I am not sure if he was being demanding because that is who he is naturally or if he was just mad about the way that Cynthia treated his wife. Anyway, he was right in telling her to check it because I did not like the way the Cynthia treated her. I dont always like the way that he treats her. He is a little controlling. When you look at the Housewives of Beverly Hills, those men are wealthier and definitely more powerful than he is and you dont see them treating the women like that. I think that a black woman is more likely to be treated like that because it is harder for a beautiful black woman to get a rich black man. I dont dislike him. It is not like he is abusive. His personality would get on my nerves but I am not as ditzy as Porcia so maybe the dynamics would not be the same. But I am sure that he has a lot of good characteristics also. He does not seem like a bad guy but he gets on my nerves sometimes. I bet he treats her family well. I hope sisters dont start complaining about him too much.

  • http://gravatar.com/beejcee beejcee

    Paula Patton’s character on Jumping the Broom!

  • Common Sense

    You say black women are not on a pedestal, but I beg to differ. There are black men who do put their women on pedestals. They don’t all run to Becky, nor do they all disrespect the Sisters!

  • http://gravatar.com/beejcee beejcee

    Porsha was smart enough to NOT sign a pre-nup. There are a couple of “wives” who are NOT wives because they would not sign (*cough* Imani (bbwives) and allegedly Kenya Moore).

  • LadyP

    Correct. I know some young black women who have already suffered from strokes and mental breakdowns because of playing a dual role (prior to turning 45). They simply had taken on too much.

    It is not meant for a woman to play dual roles. She is a woman and regardless of how tough she is – she cannot play the part of a man’s role, too.

    Not attempting to start a gender war, but you seldom witness men playing a role of a woman’s. They do this for a reason. They value their time more and themselves more (to take care of themselves, first).

    I am looking forward to Clutch exploring this topic. Poor choices will send you to an early grave. ~ P

  • Common Sense

    Marketing Gimmicks, you hit the nail on the proverbial head!!!!! You know me too well!!

    I keep telling these young women that it is better to raise children with two parents, because it makes life much easier, but they do not want to listen. They think it is easy trying to do it all!!!

    Girl, you are so right in that response, you should wrap it up in a bow and display it!!!

  • Tara

    The one thing that I did not like is when he told her that she could not have a nanny for their children. She said that she might need help. I grew up in a household where my mom just really took care of my dad. She cooked and cleaned and took care of him. My father was a great provider. Both of them played their roles well so it worked. She was able to have a full life outside of the house also. My dad was not controlling. I like the whole idea of taking care of your man and him taking care of you because that is what I grew up with. But I hate men who dont want to take care of things but want you to cater to him. Someone who does not want to make life easier for his woman. That is the attitude that a lot of these men who grew up in single mother homes have. I was with someone this summer who was like that. He wanted to make it work and it could have. But I did not have the energy to try to reprogram him and I doubt that I would have been able to at his age.

  • Nila

    OMG! Porsha basically relies on the fact that she is pretty with long gorgeous hair and so she doens’t need to ever exercise her brain. She can barely construct a sentence thinks there are 367 days in a year. And you think that is cute? Wow! I think its sad. Women like Porsha hit 40, 45 and then they realize they should have relied on something more substantial to get by. I am all for being free-spirited, but not when it means being a first-class dummy!

  • The Artist

    Yes! I was having this conversation with my with my mother the other day. It’s nice to see a Black woman enjoying herself, her wealth and her husband, without all the complications.She is truly a housewife and I for one don’t hate it.

  • Yvette

    This is a good point. I don’t wish that on her though.

  • Sweetles

    Wow at some of these comments. So Porscha is not too bright. Does that justify all of the name calling? If Porscha is content running after her husband and being pampered, who am I to judge? I am a housewife and I get the same vitriol from some women who can’t seem to wrap their head around the fact that there are some black men who desire to provide for and protect their wives and kids. I find it quite pathetic. Live and let live.

  • Pseudonym

    I could like the “pampered princess” thing if she didn’t swing the pendulum so far in the other direction into the territory of lacking any substance. Take away the weave, fancy clothes, husband to tell her what to do, and family legacy and what/who exactly is she?…She’s gets mad at other women and repeatedly calls them “Ashy.” What is she, 16 years-old?

    and I don’t really buy this idea of her being on a pedestal. On a pedestal one is worshiped and admired. Her husband doesn’t seen to admire her, often speaks to her like she’s a stupid child, and is even putting up resistance to her desire to have a child. What good is a housewife for is she has no kids to look after? What husband puts his wife on a pedestal and then denies her a child and tells her that she’s “getting on [his] damn nerves?”

    Not something to admire or aspire to, IMO.

    HOWEVER, as long as she’s happy, then I’m happy. She seems like a nice woman. Extremely immature, but really sweet.

  • Nila

    There is nothing wrong with being a housewife with loving husband who is devoted to taking care of you. But there is something worong with celebrating the fact that this woman has no common sense and has no idea how many days there are in a year. Porsha is incredibly dumb and that isn’t an attractive quality. Her husband is going to get bored eventually. Beauty and the ability to be an airhead 24/7 can only take you so far.

  • Come On

    Yes, but Hillary, Whitley, and Paula Patton are biracial aren’t they? I’m not trying to start a colorism war. I’m just saying that usually when a black woman is non-stereotypical, she’s usually light skinned.

    I think it’s sad that we even have to have these conversations about a black woman/girl getting to be the princess. I blame the black entertainment industry. Too many women see being the mule as something to be proud of. They think this is black femininity some kind of laudable altruism. I never have. There are so many great shows with young black people on the web, but Tyler Perry doesn’t want to support these young people (not religious). BET won’t give them a shot. Hollywood definitely won’t give them a shot. I don’t ever see Hollywood portraying us in a positive light, but I wonder why don’t rich black people do their own stuff. How hard would it be to have movies like Disney princess movies for little black girls made and shown on BET? Why is every black movie usually like The Color Purple or The Help? I just want to see some normalcy. Historic movies are nice every now and then, but I think more normal non-dysfunctional shows are needed, and they should be the majority. I don’t like that most of our movies are about victimization.

    I would love to see these types of shows on TV getting some recognition. Where are our young stars? We use the same stars from the 90s. I like Gabrielle Union and Sanaa Lathan, and I’m glad that the ageism among female actresses is not a big problem in black media like it is in Hollywood, but let’s get some of these young actors working. We have writers creating fresh new content that shows people in normal situations living life and being normal. I’ve watched episodes of Awkward Black Girl, Brothers with No Game, Venus vs. Mars, Roomie Lover Friends, and The Couple. All of these shows have great writing. They show young people doing what young people do. There are no abused women. The catfighting is low (except on Roomie Lover Friends), and it’s not that buffoonery type of humor. I know people like that kind of stuff, but can we get some diversity in our representation? And as a younger not really religious person, I feel that the majority of black entertainment is centered around older and more religious people. Take a look at Tyler Perry’s stuff. I can’t blame him. He knows who will spend money and who to target. Even magazines aren’t geared towards young women. There is no print version of Seventeen or Glamour for black women. At least we have sites like this.

    This is a sad article to have to write in 2013. I think this affects our daughters too. When they see our entertainment and see these types of shows, they think all they will ever be is a baby mama or live in girlfriend. We’ve got to start showing our sons and daughters positive images of themselves and their mothers and fathers. We need to start normalizing normalcy. I’ve seen enough movies of black people as abused victims to last a lifetime. Where are our black princesses and black Super Saiyans? Think Like a Man did very well in theaters. What is stopping people from doing something like that again? The Princess and the Frog drew people of all races. African Americans have money. If we wanted to see positive images of ourselves on TV, we could do it instead of begging Lena Dunham. Sadly too many don’t care or like the negative stuff.

  • Nila

    You think Porsha is smart in the ways that really count for a woman? Cna you please explain that – I am having a hard time grasping it. Smart? This is a woman who thinks there are 367 days in a year. And yet this is someone I should be learning from??I don’t think there is anything amazing about the fact that she is being taken care of by her husband and still chooses to reamin a bubble head. I don’t know any of my friends with thriving careers that would trade places with Porsha. This article and some of these comments make absolutely no sense.

  • Nile

    Excuse my errors but for whatever reason I can’t scroll up to spell check. This site is weird when it comes to that…

  • http://www.clutchmagazine.com Clutch

    Thanks for saying this! We will have our team look into it and get it fixed as soon as we can. :)

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    This! I haven’t been keeping up with Housewives of ATL in a while but I must say when I do catch it Porsha is my favorite as well for the reasons many listed plus she reminds me of my brother’s fiancée to a T…lol. I have no problem with Porsha because what you see is what you get she doesn’t proclaim to be a superwoman or a Rhodes Scholar or Michelle Obama. If she is happy with her lifestyle and her traditional type of marriage (again NOT every black woman wants an egalitarian type of marriage) then good for her. We always screamed we aren’t monolithic well she gives a glimpse to a population of black women we don’t see as often. I swear “housewife” and “traditional” is a dirty word to some people these days and just because she doesn’t work in the “traditional” sense of corporate ladder climbing and 9 to 5 having doesn’t mean she doesn’t do anything! I side eye that kind of logic. Does she represent me…of course not but I won’t shun or deny her reality.

  • Rakel

    Loved your comment.

  • Marisa

    I got nothing against women who are housewives but, I do have an issue with women who are DUMB AS A BOX OF ROCKS. Porsha Stewart clearly is and there is no excuse in 2013 for any woman to be, rather she’s a housewife or not. Porsha turned me off the minute she showed up she had some charity event where her Kordell showed up bestowing gifts on her. The whole event was about her and not about the charity at all, also she better have something to fall back on, because any relationship with anybody in sports and entertainment industry is more risking than investing in the stock market.

  • http://www.myblackfriendsays.com myblackfriendsays

    I don’t like Porsha because she calls people “ghetto” and their feet “ashy” went she gets into fights with them. Internalized racism rearing it’s ugly head.

    She also comes across as dumb as a box of rocks. I have no problem with her not having a job. I do however, have a problem with the idea that all women that do not work outside the home are ditzy and/or stupid–because that is definitely not the case.

  • Come On

    You all are so right! This is a conversation that African Americans really need to have. People like to protect single mothers and not criticize them, but it is not about attacking existing single mothers. We can’t afford to worry about hurting the feelings of women for criticizing bad choices instead of saving girls before they make them. It’s about the lifestyle and telling the teenagers and young women who don’t have children what the problem is with this “I don’t need a man” idea so that they don’t go down the same path. I’ve always found that idea to be silly. It’s not about “needing” a man. It’s about not doing it alone and waiting until a man signals that he is committed to you and wants to plan a family with you.

    I was a big supporter of that No Wedding No Womb idea, but the detractors came out saying that a marriage doesn’t guarantee this. A husband might do that. It’s not just about marriage being a panacea. It’s about marriage being the strongest way for a man to show you that he is serious about you. Just because a man has dated you for years and said I love you does not mean that you should have his child. And marriage is a legal contract that many people don’t take lightly.

    It is not meant for anyone to do what these women do. People like to agree that black women are strong and mules, so that when they leave us to struggle on our own it doesn’t seem as bad. But they’re really just playing you, and so many black women say Oh that’s okay. I’m other-worldy and strong and different from those other weak women. I can do it on my own. No. Most can’t. I hate that strong black woman idea. It just makes black women feel bad for asking for all the other things other women ask for. We’re not supposed to ask for help. We’re not supposed to want the father of our children to live in the house with us. It’s like a way to cover up that black women have gotten the short end of the stick.

  • MoreThanAWoman

    The SAME people that condones how Porsha acts,are the SAME people who have a problem with Apollo acts and condone himself. If I was a man,I’ll take a woman like Phaedra who is educated,carries herself with class,grace,poise,and sophistication,than a woman like Porsha who DOESN’T work,comes off dumb,and has nothing going for herself besides looks. The ONLY reason Porsha married Kordell Stewart is because of money. If this man DIDN’T have any money,I bet Porsha wouldn’t even look his way. Usually,when a woman married for money,the relationship DOESN’T last…..

    Btw,Kordell comes off as controlling.

  • & the same ppl up here praising porsha will rip someone like Kim kardashian to shreds in a minute.Ppl love to go on and on abt how Kim is a ditzy superficial girl who only has fame and money bcuz of her looks.But porsha should be celebrated? I’m confused.

  • Rakel

    Yeah ITA. I don’t think she represents me either. But I love that she’s happy w/her life. Life is short. There are plenty of BW that aspire to be successful in the business sense and some want to be a successful housewife, I don’t think either should be looked down upon.

  • Z

    This is the real question: “You think Porsha is smart in the ways that really count for a woman?”

    It may not matter now, but when she turns 40, 50 or if they should separate, it will.

  • Z

    Signing or not signing a pre-nup depends on the situation and where you live. In some situations not signing a pre-nup is the smart thing to do, in others it’s stupid.

  • JJ

    I have no issue with Porscha’s lifestyle or her being not that bright. What I don’t like about her is her attitude. Her attitude just plain stinks. She comes off as an elitist even though she can barely put together a sentence.

  • shoesandshrimp

    I think that you missed one of the points that was made by the author of the article. Porsha with her faults and not so intelligent demeanor is a breath of fresh air for some black women. She doesn’t appear to be jaded or weighed down by the burdens of life that many of us black women are forced to deal with throughout our lives. She is very vibrant and happy with her place in life.

    She isn’t Michelle Obama who we love and respect but nor is Porsha sitting in the White House with Barack either. She understands what it takes to be a partner in the type of lifestyle that she lives allowing Kordell to take the lead. Although Kordell can come across pretty tough, I also realize that sometimes you have to give tough love to the ones that you care about. Porsha’s strength clearly isn’t standing up for herself whether the mess is made by herself or someone else. He might have grown tired of the constant complaining or whining from his wife over the same things over and over. He does have a strong personality that has served him well in his life and throughout his successful football career. I seriously don’t believe that he doesn’t love and respect his wife. He even realizes at times that Porsha might be at fault in some situations and he lets her know that.

    Being a real woman doesn’t only glorify a single type of woman. It is great if you are self-sufficient and intelligent but not all of us are. We as black woman need to learn how to support our fellow sisters instead of finding fault in how they live their lives.

    I have a loving husband and a great career but I would love to lay down my Superwoman cape sometimes. It might be great to just be glorified on a pedestal while I serve my husband and my family. There is nothing wrong with that. Many of our mothers, grandmothers, and many women that came before us lived lives very similar to the Porshas of the world and they were just fine with it.

  • shoesandshrimp

    May the Church say Amen!!!

  • PalmReader

    Just because it hasn’t been seen in black, does not make it enviable.

    Beyond that, she doesn’t seem pampered. She’s more of a pawn than anything – a beard for a closeted gay husband who thinks that channeling a 1950′s patriarch makes him appear straight.

  • http://twitter.com/Author_JGail J. Gail (@Author_JGail)

    That wedding video was so beautiful it almost made me cry :) I get what you’re saying, it’s nice to see a sista who doesn’t have to struggle strive and crusade all of the time, she can just enjoy her life and relax!

  • JJ

    @Alena: Off topic…your hair is pretty!

  • http://twitter.com/TheSheSpot TheSheSpot (@TheSheSpot)

    I LOVE this post! I believe that we are all perfect no matter who we are or what we want! If you are a deep thinker and want to be known as such – GREAT! If you want to be a super successful sister demanding respect – GET IT! And if you want to be a pretty kept woman and stay home mom – DO YOUR THING! And as women, we need to respect each other’s decisions on what we want out of our own lives and not judge each other for not making the same decisions! I applaud Porsha in just the same way that I admire NeNe and Phaedra for doing their thing! Great post!

  • http://dreampurplelove.tumblr.com Adora

    This is the best article ever written on clutch. Between the writing style and content!

  • Chic Noir

    I don’t watch this RHWO wherever shows but this essay has sure made me curious. I like to see this(blk Zooey Dachanel) and the Diahann Carrol role on Dynasty side of Blk women.

  • Chic Noir

    Denise on The Cosby show.

    It’s just that , these types of Blk women are few and far between on TV and movies. Even more so now.

  • Misty

    Me too. I loooooved Dominique Devereaux!

  • PinkCharisma3

    I absolutely love this article! I love Porsha and Kordell together. My relationship with my fiance is similar to theirs. She respects her husband and allows him to be a man, unlike some women who are too aggressive and like to control everything. I love the fact that she’s in love, and happy being a housewife who’s husband shows her the world, that’s how a woman is supposed to be treated.

  • JaeBee

    I think you mean “long gorgeous WEAVE”.

  • karmell

    exactly! and sadly, I don’t think she’s all that dumb, cause she sure knows how to play that damsel in distress role. side comments and snarky remarks, then she acts like she didn’t do/say anything. I can’t. If she’s happy being controlled that’s all well and good, but I’m not gonna act like this is relationship dynamic I’d like my daughter to have one day.

  • http://www.dawnthescreenwriter.com ScriptTease

    If they can deal with white trophy airheads…………………

  • http://gravatar.com/rahmadclark Zanabee

    Yes, Porsche-kins was raised to be put on a pedestal and be protected from cold, cruel realities of life. I love it. I am not a hater and I just think that she should have selected her traditional man a little more carefully…but they are hard to find so I am thinking Kordell personified her “list’ at the right time in her life so she just let herself fall in love with him which is really sad –when you have invested your entire being into a person and they don’t value you at all….divorce is hard for all women even likable, ditzy princesses.

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