Janet and Husband

Recently word got out that, quite possibly, superstar Janet Jackson has quit show business, converted to Islam and with her billionaire husband at her side, is done.

When I mean done, I mean she’s retired from the rat race, from the expectations of others, from anyone being in her business, from dealing with folks she doesn’t want to deal with and situations she could care less for. Done. Finished. On permanent vacation. Gone. Not coming back.

While Janet Jackson was obviously already wealthy and accomplished before she met her Qatari husband, Wissam al-Mana, she still had to deal with the cult of expectations that comes with being an international celebrity. Her peer, Madonna, is still trying to hold on to youth and pump out the hits past 50. Janet, while younger, may have looked into that abyss and went “Do I still want to deal with articles criticizing my body/music/face/life at 50? Do I still want the world in my business? Do I still want to go on tour?”

And she was like, “Nah. I’m going to go be with this hot billionaire. Catch y’all next lifetime.”

And can you blame her? How many of us have fantasized about being “done” while we’re still young enough to appreciate it?

Thanks to today’s “new” economy where we’ve all be turned into contractors and freelancers without benefits, job security is a dream and retirement quickly becoming something no one can afford, being “done” seems more elusive than ever. My father, thanks to more than thirty stable, profitable years with the same aerospace company and a pension, was able to retire at 57. The world I live in is full of 30-somethings who’ve already cashed in their meager 401k’s in order to survive being unemployed thanks to the “Great Recession.” Savings? What savings? Retirement? Ha. All we see is work and more work and work and then a hope that Social Security isn’t completely dead before we are.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my job. And I’m sure a lot of you love you line of work as well. But the fantasy of someone just showing up and “Calgon, take me away-ing” your life is seductive. I have friends with corporate careers who still dream of being housewives. It’s not that they aren’t proud of their doctorate degrees or their resumes. But their mothers worked and their grandmothers worked and every woman they know works and, as black women, they can’t help but wonder what it’s like to be the woman who doesn’t sometimes. That if it was the right situation and the right man, they’d be willing to stay at home if it mean they got to pass the burden of expectation and work onto their husbands in exchange for dinner on the table and a clean house.

But the fantasy of being “rescued” by a man is nothing new. In fact, some might even argue it’s a dangerous, anti-feminist fantasy that reinforces the belief that women are too “weak”  to survive in the work place and that their “real” place is in the home. But I’m a strong believer that what women fought for in the battle for equality was to have a choice where once there was none.

A lot was made of Sheryl Sandberg’s book “Lean In” and about women “opting out” being the reasons why there aren’t more CEOs. But I argued that this is more an issue for women of the elite (which is where most CEOs come from anyway, Ivy League schools and scions of the one percent), than working class or middle class women for whom work is often not a choice. You can only “opt out” if your life was cushy enough to begin with to choose it. And if elite women find the path to CEO full of drudgery and wind up “opting out” it’s because they chose their privilege of being elites and the comfort of being an elite over any kind of movement. “Lean In” is a little condescending if you’re someone who can’t opt out of anything, but must confront a workplace hostile to you having children or having a life outside of work, disturbing any sort of work/life balance that elevates the day-to-day above pure drudgery.

Which is why you have the fantasy. Why you have a billion-and-one “housewife” or “wives” shows on TV when the vast majority of American women work. Why in a Tyler Perry production even the most broke of female characters is wearing the hottest of shoes. It’s escapism and an escapism that taps directly into that fantasy of being done while still young, pursuing other dreams without having to worry about starving to death, to do what you really want to do with your life, rather than what you simply have to do. And that’s not just a woman’s fantasy. That’s everyone’s fantasy.

Some might want to be rescued by their own Wissam al-Mana. Some might want to be rescued by the state lottery. Some might want that next big salary, major gig, big book deal or TV show to finally come through.

But a lot of us want to be “through” with this worry about where the next check is coming from. Through with being afraid for our uncertain future.

 

  • Shay

    Love this

  • AJ

    Agreed!

  • AnnT

    I don’t think she done. Just comfortable, relaxed, and balanced.
    Janet Jackson has been tap dancing on a Ritz cracker to the tune of a cracked whip via Joe since she was able to speak.
    She was born and raised in the industry, like a circus animal (complete the mental and physical abuse) and didn’t necessarily choose this life for herself the way Madonna did.

    The (music business) life chose her, she didn’t choose it.
    She simply hopped off the hamster wheel and decided she’d enjoy the stroll instead of the concrete jungle of the business word.
    I don’t blame her for wanting to salvage what’s left of her mind, body, and soul in order to share it with someone who loves her.

    I’m like you, I just want to be done with the worrying. It doesn’t have to come in the form of a billionaire who swooped in to rescue me. I don’t want to be rescued, I’m not shipped wrecked.
    I just want to be on non-leaking boat with someone who will takes turns paddling and who will occasionally let the boat drift along the ocean to enjoy the view.

  • A able

    I have a serious question, and pardon my ignorance, but is this a feminist website? And if so what are your definitions of feminism?

  • Starla

    I really enjoyed this piece.

    My parents have been semi-retired since they were in their 40s, they are now in their 60s with no regrets. I hope that I can leave it all behind by the time I am 45.

  • http://www.clutchmagazine.com Clutch

    Thanks for the comment/question!

    No – we are not a feminist website – but we do cover feminism very regularly. Some of our writers are Feminist but our site has not or ever claimed to be a feminist website.

    Also, if you have any other questions directed to the website or authors – please email us at [email protected] – we try to keep our comment sections strictly for comments discussing the article/topic.

    Thanks again!

  • http://www.nobusinessnoshow.wordpress.com Marketing Gimmicks

    Yes. 9-5′s suck major ass and a JOB means=Just Over Broke and freelancing is the kissing cousin of indentured servitude.

    If any Clutch readers had the opportunity to be swept off their feet by a young, rich, well hung stud who wants to retire us in the lap of luxury…eating diamonds for breakfast…. we’d sign our names on the dotted line in BLOOD.

    Once in a lifetime is once in a lifetime…and the bonus for Janet is that Wissam’s money isn’t mixed with the fanfare of celebrity and paparazzi which I believe truly ruins relationships.

    Janet got HER life and I’m not mad. Her hubby is as sexy as shit…they have chemistry, and their isn’t a working woman alive who wouldn’t kill to be in her shoes.

  • Ask_ME

    Janet Jackson is WINNING…that’s for sure!

  • Kay

    You know what, I’m not even mad at Janet. Shoot, if my hubby were a billionaire, I’d probably quit working too. In fact, my hubby’s brother has it like that. His wife doesn’t have to work. She just stays home and plans dinner parties and sits on the boards of a few philanthropic organizations and manages the affairs of their estate. I have to fight a twinge of jealousy whenever I hear about her day. So, I can’t hate on Janet. Some people were all, “But…but….she’s with a Middle Eastern dude!” So what. She’s happy, she’s not bothering anyone. And plus, dude is FINE. (What?! I’m married, not dead y’all! LOL!)

  • Kay

    I think a lot of people have a very skewed perspective of feminism. Feminism is not necessarily women being men, or doing all the things men are expected to do. It’s having the choice of doing as you please, whether the choice involves specific roles conflated with gender or no. Some rad-fems would probably kvetch at Janet making the decision that she did, but like any other movement, there are nuances, and most feminists I know equally support the women who choose to go to combat just as much as those who may choose to stay home for personal reasons. But as a womanist and a possibly third wave feminist, I have no problem with her decision as long as she is doing for herself. Besides, in this economy I know quite a few “house husbands,” so this concept works both ways.

  • ….

    Even if I married a rich man I would still want my own money,my own career,and my own accomplishments

  • Cocochanel31

    girl you saiid thaaat! Me and my girlfriends feel this way every day as we trudge away at these “jobs” we hate everyday just to make ends meet..it’s sooo frustrating but it is what it is. Someone else always has it worse!

  • shoSTOPPER

    i beleive this accurately describes her- show business in her blood

  • Martin

    Most never married black woman, who want to get married, by middle age are stuck. They cant find a man with a good job let alone a wealty who can give them the option of not having to work. A lot of these problems go back to their 20′s when many actually had some decent responsible men options but thought they had time and could wait until their 30′s to look for a husband. It’s an often repeated cruel fantasy, (wait…have fun in your 20′s), that leaves many stuck before they discover the truth. Many of these YOUNG black women also don’t have a degree nor a career and think they can also wait. A few will find a husband with a good job. Many won’t.

    The problem with their logic is what exactly are the benefits for a man with a good job marrying a middle age (30′s/40′s) black woman, many with kids who’s broke or living check to check?

  • T

    Fine, Young, and a Billionaire equates to done, finished, and gone! See ya next lifetime. Janet went from a shrimp to a hot, fine Azz – billionaire. I wouldn’t have looked back either. But Janet is smart, so if she HAS to come back she’ll have something to fall back on. I just believe she isn’t the dependant type. Not only that, for some reason, I think this was a fit for her. By him being a billionaire was just a nice, icing on the cake, cherry on top added bonus.

    Get it in, Janet! Honey, I wouldn’t have thought about these people in the U.S. any more than the man on the moon. Yeah, I’ll send a post card or two – but that’s about it.

    On a more serious note, Janet is in her 40’s – and if you don’t start living for yourself then – I don’t know when you’ll start. Janet is winning with NO WORRIES (hopefully) and who wouldn’t sign up for that? Sign me up!

  • Purple Rain

    Um, I’m in my 20s and still can’t find a decent, responsible man with a good job. Where are these ‘options’ to which you are referring??????????

  • Treece

    I am 100% with this! I used to be all, “I spent all this money on my degree trying to educate and elevate, I’m not being anybody’s stay at home wife/mother!” Do you know how badly I would kill to be a stay at home mom/wife to a rich husband? I mean rich enough so that I didn’t have to work so hard cleaning and bogged down with household drudgery, we could hire someone to do it. I daydream about it all the time like I dream/fantasize about winning the lottery…..

    I support Janet all the way with this one. I am trying to enjoy my life and live with no regrets, be thankful for the moments I have and trust that things will work out for the best. But it’s hard when you work a job that pays you peanuts and you feel like you’re wasting your money on a M.A. degree that will barely get you a salary much higher than what you paid for 7 years of “higher education” total….i’m just sayin. #whereismyWissam

  • Anthony

    I just hope her marriage is happy and strong and strong and happy.

    Marriage was a great way out for Janet Jackson be she honestly does not have the voice to be a singer of mature songs. I hope she enjoys life out of the limelight.

    Sisters get mad when I say it, but Islam does allow for multiple wives. Don’t be surprised if her husband takes a younger second wife for children, or he may already have wives with children.

  • Martin

    Attractive to average, friendly phyiscally fit women don’t have a problem finding a man. Black men in their 20′s are just getting started you’re marrying potential ie degree or skill and working in that profession a year or two. If you want an established, financially secure man, you’re going to have to date men in their 30′s and 40.

  • Bren

    I would love to hit the lotto and go on a permanent vacation.

  • http://twitter.com/scbeauty77 SCBeauty (@scbeauty77)

    I love your acronym for job :-) I will have to use.

  • http://gravatar.com/jswindell Nean

    I agree about the comment about JJ being born into the business. Her struggle is not going to be like the sanging diva whose father still has his blue-collar job. While JJ can sing a little, her demographic has changed and if I lost my brother to unfortunate circumstances, I may check out somewhat from life, even if I had to move back home and work when I felt like it.

    As far as a mate goes, flexibility would be ideal for me. Meaning if he pays the bills, I take care of house and finances in a timely and age-appropriate fashion as far as investments and things go.

    The battle for a better life remains a challenge for many Black women in 2013. Like the author said, you go through all these steps to get a higher but find that your dream job may still have you living paycheck to paycheck. Many of us came from humble beginnings and are just now learning that a few pennies can be converted into a few dollars with planning.

    At this point, the Jacksons may be considered old money because all we hear about in the news is these millions of dollars that have been generated since MJ’s passing.

  • victory

    Now and days marriages are more likely to survive when couples marry in their 30s and are educated. Therefore, it is wise for black women, who want to marry,to focus on education and career in their 20s and marry in their 30s.

  • omfg

    i’m sure there are a lot of men who’d like to hitch their wagons to a wealthy woman and never have to do any work they don’t want to again.

    i think this sentiment works both ways.

    look at j. lo’s boy. you think he isn’t happy to be jet setting and eating at the finest restaurants?

    tons of men would like to be out of the rat race too.

    but you know, you really don’t have to be rich to opt out of the rat race. people with modest means do it all the time. i’ve taken baby steps to opting out – not owning a car, riding my bike, not paying for cable, buying less, and avoiding poisonness people. these are little things you can do to tune out the broader world’s expectations.

  • victoria

    Im happily married and can HONESTLY say that I dont have to worry. We are financial stable and stress free. But this is because we live below our means and we save save save.
    Im a stay at home wife/mother of 2 soon to be 3. We are financially blessed. Why? Because we save, make wise financial decisions, use cash not credit, and live below our means. For years, before I stopped working, we lived off of one paycheck. And while we banked my entire check, we still were able to bank plenty of money from my husband’s paycheck. We did this for years. And yes, plenty of people dogged us for having one used car, living in a small apartment with IKEA furniture. But now we reap the benefits and plan to retire early- Hopefully mid-50s.
    I recommend this to many couples. Try living off of one salary and stick to a saving budget. It is possible. Also, this is very important, marry someone who is on the same financial page as you. We all cant marry billionaires, but being financially stress free is possible.

  • Apple

    Get your life ! If I was married to a billionaire I’d do all the things I wanted to do! Art school, learn new languages , blog and open a little online store ,just for fun ;-) no pressure!

  • Indeed

    Victoria,

    Your reply gives me hope! I am a working married wife and mother to two children. My kids are a bit older now (3rd and 1st grade). Tell me, do you ever think your kids are too old for a mother to be at home? I ask because I’ve been running and shuffling and hustling forever (been working since 15), and I have been a very Type A go-getter, but my heart just is not in it anymore. There are many more important things in life than getting that next promotion or a bigger office, or more projects to check off on your resume! That said, I’m not sure we can swing it financially. We are paying the price to be in a adequately sized home in a “good” public school district, but I am praying and hoping for a change so I can quit being in a hurry all the time and can enjoy the meaningful things in life.

  • Shelly

    THANK YOU. I am a beautiful, average sized, woman of 24 years. I’m about to get my bachelors degree, i have a nice personality, yet I am also not married or dating. I find that the men I encounter (and i’ll just go ahead and say black men, because that’s who i want), these men either already have girlfriends, or their mentallity is screwed up. Some of these men (like the one who commented above) think they have it all figured out and that everything is our fault, but they have not lived a day in our shoes.

  • Ads

    Wow i want to marry you ;)

  • victoria

    hahaha

  • LN

    Danielle, you are preaching today. When I got married my husband was the primary breadwinner and I quit my job to work on my side hustle. And man… it was nice. Watching TV all day while I worked, spending hours at cafes, planning vacations. Just not having to worry about much else but myself.

    Then my side hustle picked up in a major way and began to pay as much as my husband’s job. Then it superseded my husband’s job and now, bam, I find myself as the primary breadwinner. And it is NOT fun.

    Now it’s my job to map out our investment strategy, take care of any loose bills, pay for groceries and gas when my husband’s tapped out, pay for our baby’s swim lessons, gymnastics lessons.

    I am ASHAMED to say this… but I’m going to be honest… Sometimes I wonder if women knew what they were fighting for when they wanted equal responsibility to men… because it is HARD.

    The only silver lining is that our income is high enough that we can retire fairly early. And I am working my butt off to get to that point because this ‘primary breadwinner’ gig is not what I’m here for…

  • Martin

    @shelly

    You just need to come in contact with more quality men. Where are they? Young black professional social events, the gym and online (non ghetto sites). If you are who you say you are. Your only issue should be picking the guy who is willing to make a commitment.

    Not saying its easy but you have it easier than these middle age women looking for a husband

  • victoria

    Indeed
    I think the reason why I am able to be a stay at home mom is b/c we used serious financial restraint before and after the children were born. This is key. We set goals and we work hard towards achieving them. This means sticking to our plan. Of course, we allow ourselves a few treats now and then. We take several vacations per year. We also make wise financial decisions, such as purchasing homes to rent out. We took advantage of the drop in home prices in the US. This provides extra income.
    If you believe that your children are too old for you to stay at home, think about working part time. If this is possible. Or take a leave of absence. This may be best b/c you dont want to quit work only to find out that staying at home is not for you.
    My advice, you and your husband should discuss, re-evauluate, and strive towards the same financial goals. It’s easier than you think.
    I wish you the best of luck.

  • omfg

    you can do all of these things right now. you can take art classes at a community college. some things are offered online.

    you can take language courses online at community colleges. or buy a language tool.

    blogs are free to start.

    anyone can open a store.

    girl, if these are things you want to do, you can right now.

    wealth has nothing to do with this.

  • Anthony

    I guess the fact of polygamy in Islam messes up the fantasy. I have no idea what the relationship between Wissam and Janet is, but the fact is that she has apparently converted, and has moved to Qatar indicates that she has excepted his way of life and values. If that includes polygamy, it is her choice to make, and I hope we all respect it.

  • LemonNLime

    I consider myself to be very lucky. I graduated from college and got a job immediately. 2 years after that, I received an inheritance that allowed me to pay off my school debt and my car. It has been 3.5 years since I graduated and I am now working my dream job, I’m debt free, and I have 4 set of savings: travel, education, emergency/general, and retirement. Because I’m in this position, I feel like I have the best of both worlds. Sure I can’t just quit my job an go backpacking forever, but I get 23 days paid vacation every year so after setting aside time for holidays, I still have 2-3 weeks to vacation on my own. Plus after a few years, I’ll be eligible for sabbatical. I live on about 2/3 of my salary and save the other 1/3 so that I can afford to do these things.

    My concern is financial state of the men I’m interested in dating (I’m 27 and I date about 27-35). I’m not expecting them to be HOT beautiful Qatari billionaires by any means but one of the many reasons I don’t want to marry is because I don’t want to marry into debt (even if it is an educational “investment”…75K in debt for a English degree is a bad investment imho). I don’t think I’ll be able to fully pull a Wissam al-Mana and Janet Jackson, but it would be nice to know that we are on the same financial page, have to means to do what we want, and aren’t burdened by debt.

  • BOOK

    Hey, some women can handle it and some can’t. To each their own.

  • ROCKS!

    Your comment striked me a bit. Because a man decides to get a college education in English with $75,000 in debt, means no beuno for you? I mean, if it wasn’t for your inheritance you could have been in the same predicament. I’m just saying, you might not meet that Qatari billionaire or the man with the perfect credit report but geez Louise, everyone in America has some student loan debt to pay off. Regardless if its an engineering degree or philosophy degree. Give some men some slack – if he is willing to pull his own, let him.

  • Apple

    The art school I want to go to is 26k a year . And I don’t have timefor languages or blogging and barely enough for my current store . Money would give me the freedom to do the things I like with out worrying about how I’m going to eat .

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  • LemonNLime

    I had debt but I didn’t have crazy amounts. I would have been able to pay mine off in 3 years even without the inheritance because I went to a state school and didn’t major in a “fluffy” degree for lack of a better word. What really set this for me was a co-worker who was debt free completely and she married and guy who had close to 100K in debt for his PhD in Latin…Latin. That is a bad financial decision in my opinion and she was wary about it too, but in her mind love conquered all or some such craziness so it was worth the risk. I never said that I wouldn’t date them, that is fine, but I am not interested in marrying into debt. Sure everyone has some school debt but there is a difference between good and bad debt in my opinion. 75K toward an engineering or computer science degree? Smart. 75K toward an English or Latin degree at a private liberal arts university? Not smart but to each their own.

  • jcross

    I don’t know anything about Wissam, but I wouldn’t just assume what his way of life and values are based off of popular notions. There are many secular Qataris, or ones who are not so devout, as there are in every other culture’s population on the planet. Also, not all Muslim men have multiple wives. In fact, MOST DON’T.

  • Anthony

    Jcross, most Muslim men cannot afford multiple wives. Wissam clearly can. As I said before, the possibility of polygamy is messing up the fairy tale because there s no other reason why mentioning polygamy gets such a negative reaction.I don’t care if he has or will have more than one wife, I am simply saying that it is a realistic option for him.

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  • Kay

    I know right?! What world is this dude living in?! And if you do happen upon some “some decent responsible men options,” there is no guarantee they will even want to settle down, no matter how perfect you may be. Most men I knew in my 20′s didn’t even want to think about a committed relationship, let alone marriage. That kind of thing tends to happen as people get older and mature.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    Agreed! As the lyrics goes… “I took some time to live my life but don’t think I’m just his little wife…” truer words have never been spoken by Mrs. Knowles Carter…lol. I think ideally it would be great to marry a guy with bank but I would be far from the pampered wife chilling in a lap of luxury.

    That is why I’ am on the fence with this topic. Because while it is great to big up Janet you can’t in the same article shade Madonna (even if you do think she is passed her prime and should be done) because not all women want the same things and your “done” may not be someone else version of “done”. On one hand it would be great to be done with all the hard parts of life and not scratching and surviving but on the other I wouldn’t feel like “me” if I didn’t go through it and overcome it to have my own success and become top notch at my crafted and then eventually share it with someone. I think that fantasy is great ideally but it doesn’t always match up with reality. I do want to be “done” in a sense where I’ am at the point where I don’t have to worry about living from check to check or see if my bank account can allow me to be spontaneous but at the same time I still want to be on my grind and pushing myself to do new things and going through it to see if I can prevail so it is a toss-up.

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  • Mr. Man

    This is nice for Janet, I hope she’s happy and they both can stay happy in their marriage and pull successfully through the ups and downs. REAL happiness aint got thing to do with money, I’m sure Janet learn this fact many years ago..

  • http://www.lillian-mae.com Lillian Mae

    This deserves repeating:
    Also, this is very important, marry someone who is on the same financial page as you. We all cant marry billionaires, but being financially stress free is possible.

  • http://www.zazzle.com/robleedesigns Rob

    She will be back as soon as she see’s women are second class citizens under Islam.

  • http://www.lillian-mae.com Lillian Mae

    Did Janet convert?

  • Fantastico

    Please women are treated as 2nd class everywhere.

  • Fantastico

    @ Kay exactly.

  • wfm

    And the churchs says, Amen.

  • Treece

    Love this comment! Anyone (regardless of sex) would love to opt out and just live off of someone else….at least for a while. I hate that I’ve become a part of this “rat race” and that I find I’m working so hard (in school and and working a low paying job so I have time for graduate courses) but I’m just scraping by. I think it’s just wanting to chillax and not worry about how this or that will be paid, when it will be paid, scheduling this or that, etc. A person just gets tired of it. The idea of waking up and having someone take care of everything for you while you chill and do whatever your hearts desire for that day is damn seductive! To anyone

    And kudos to you for bowing out of the race and living more simply. I wish I had the courage…

  • ….

    @binks Agreed. I might not like everything about Beyoncé but one thing I can appreciate about her is that the girl has her OWN and had it before she married. Same with Janet.

  • @LemonNLime I agree with you about certain majors being a bad investment. When I started college I was a psych major, but after thought it over and considered the fact that I would have to pay a boatload of more money for graduate school (to earn some decent money b/c in psych u NEED a masters) and even then a good career was not guaranteed I switched. Not to put down psych majors but in this economy u need to be smart and ive decided that a smart choice would be to have a career in “the sciences”…

  • http://thelbdonline.com Tanesha

    Agreed. But I think Janet marrying a wealthy man and living a life of luxury is good for her because she has already accomplished so much. Like Danielle said in the article, Janet Jackson has accomplished many things. She is a recording artist, actress, and has done the independent woman thing since her 18th birthday. So her deciding to sit down and be Mrs. al-Mana is no problem. She has already proven to herself and her new husband that she can handle herself and “has her own.”

    I myself think it’s only a problem to be a “kept woman” when you have never been independent. I know it always doesn’t happen this way, but I do think it’s good for a woman to have her own place and take care of herself without the help of a man, even if it is just for one year. I think she needs to know what it’s like to be a completely independent individual and have her own identity before taking someone else’s last name. I also think, and I could be wrong, that men appreciate a woman who is a go-getter and can do for herself. Even if he does come in and wants to take care of you, I think he’ll have more respect for a woman who is self sufficient, versus some trophy who is co-dependent on others. Once a woman has proven to herself that she can be self-sufficient, as is the case of Janet, I don’t think it’s anything wrong with her deciding to be a housewife. There are a number of my friends who have masters, doctorate, and law degrees who have said they have done the independent thing and if a man were to come in and say they would take care of them they’d be for it.

    Many times we go to school and start careers and aren’t always fulfilled with running the rat race. Others of us go to school and due to this terrible economy cant even begin to start a career and are left working jobs that are below our talents. So it can be very attractive to have a tall, dark, handsome, and rich man wisk us away to greater things. As we get older all of us change our priorities. Sometimes the simpler things in life can be the most attractive.

  • http://gravatar.com/sealinewuman sealinewumanwuman

    I am laughing my A$$ off over here! Thanks for brightening my day, lol.

  • jcross

    “Jcross, most Muslim men cannot afford multiple wives. Wissam clearly can. As I said before, the possibility of polygamy is messing up the fairy tale because there s no other reason why mentioning polygamy gets such a negative reaction.I don’t care if he has or will have more than one wife, I am simply saying that it is a realistic option for him.”

    And once again, you’re implying that all Muslim men want at least more than one wife, but many just can’t afford it. Maybe he doesn’t want anyone but Janet? Way to stereotype…

  • http://gravatar.com/hsm36 Whatever

    “I’m like you, I just want to be done with the worrying. It doesn’t have to come in the form of a billionaire who swooped in to rescue me. I don’t want to be rescued, I’m not shipped wrecked.
    I just want to be on non-leaking boat with someone who will takes turns paddling and who will occasionally let the boat drift along the ocean to enjoy the view.”

    YES to this!

  • Quantella Owens

    The reality is not at all what it is cracked up to be. I was always hoping to find that person who would solve all my problems and I found him, but I wish I could go back to being independent. I lost everything and sought safe harbor with someone I trust so that I could rebuild, but the rebuilding is constantly getting interrupted by nastiness and spite and in the meantime…I’m stuck at home everyday and having to check every single purchase and I’m just as worried about money and my future as I was before I was “rescued.” I consider his money, his money. He earned it and I wouldn’t want it any way.

    When I was working, I was in the same boat as everyone here: low pay, wrong major, school debt etcetera. Most of it my fault and I’m not blaming anyone else. But my real mistake was not investing just a tiny bit in companies like Coke, Hershey’s, McDonald’s and Altria. Over the past 20 years since I started working that would have added up to a tidy bit of change and probably would have been enough to pay off my college debts and ensure I had some money to ease the rough patches while I tried to start my own business. Instead, I lost everything I owned twice and now at 40 I have to start all over again. Investing gives you a little bit of leeway if other things go wrong.

    Of course, hindsight is 20/20 and I’ve since learned about dividend reinvesting and compounding and all the rest, but it would have made more of an impact and difference if I had gotten started when I was younger. So those of you in your early 20′s listen to someone who regrets not starting early and use Sharebuilder; they only charge $4 per trade, allow you to buy half shares or less and automatically reinvest your dividends. I am not associated with them in any way…it’s just the easiest way I know of to accomplish all of those things.

  • Anthony

    As a Ph.D. In the Humanities myself, it is hard to believe a student went 100k in debt for a degree. A competent student will earn assistantships and teaching awards to pay for school and earn tuition breaks. Students that aren’t good enough are usually forced out of the program.

    The person claims her husband is in debt over school is probably making up a story to cover up some other debt.

  • Anthony

    I have lived in predominately Muslim societies, and teach about the Muslim world. Polygamy is pretty common in many Muslim countries, especially among richer men.

    As I have said before, I know nothing about Wissam al Mana besides what I have read online or in a few newspapers. He may want Janet Jackson only, fine. I just don’t see the need to deny or downplay a very important aspect of marriage in Islam.

    The fact is that Janet has left America and she living in a society that views marriage differently than the West.

  • http://zazzle.com/robleedesigns Rob

    Her new husband told Janet no more shaking your butt on stage you belong to me now and cover your self up. Lets see how long it will last.

  • Anthony

    I have not implied anything. You are determined not to acknowledge that polygamy is an option for a man in his position when it clearly is.

  • Echi

    I second Binks comment. There are many things I do not like about Madonna – but the fact that she’s still going at her age is a non-factor for me. In fact, it’s a bit ageist to think that because a woman reaches a certain age or fails in her fight against gravity that she should retreat to some corner and die.

  • Anthony

    I was specifically talking about earning a Ph.D. Doctoral programs are designed to support students provide work opportunities. Of course, this gives a school cheap labor, but it also is a recognition of the fact that most Ph.D.s are not going to be wealthy, and that it makes no economic sense to go into deep debt for a doctorate.

  • http://twitter.com/scbeauty77 SCBeauty (@scbeauty77)

    Wow Victoria! Living off one salary with 2 soon to be 3 children. I tip my hat off to you and your husband. Much respect Victoria.

  • http://twitter.com/scbeauty77 SCBeauty (@scbeauty77)

    I agree with you here:

    Also, this is very important, marry someone who is on the same financial page as you. We all cant marry billionaires, but being financially stress free is possible.

  • jcross

    No sir, I’m not trying to deny that it’s an option for him. I guess u missed the part where I mentioned that I just don’t think it’s fair to ASSUME what his personal beliefs are. Once again, Qatar is full of many types of people: Muslims of all different levels in their faith, and following or NOT following certain traditions, Christians, atheists, etc. Qatar is not Afghanistan, it’s VERY diverse in cultures…

  • Pema

    This article is ridiculous. Janet had enough money to retire a long time ago. I saw a recent picture of her at the airport covered from head to toe so I suspect her husband didn’t want her to tour anymore. In addition she is living in another country and currently experiencing a culture that is very different from the one she grew up in. It may work out, it may not.

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