tyrese

I loved Tyrese in The Fast & the Furious, but he’s is no Dr. Phil and perhaps he should quit trying to be.

In his latest interview with AllHipHop.com, the singer turned actor/author launched a brutal tirade against “fat” people. I’d have never guessed Tyrese to be a “chubby chaser,” but I certainly didn’t expect an author of self help books to be a “fat basher.” When asked if he felt an obligation to help people live a healthier lifestyle, Tyrese’s answer was gut wrenching and vomit inducing:

“No two situations are the same. If you are fat and nasty and you don’t like the way you look, do something about it. It’s simple.

When you take a shower and you put your fat, nasty body in the shower and by the time you get out, the mirrors are all steamed up so you don’t look at what you did to yourself. That may sound offensive or insensitive but ultimately, you are big as hell because you have earned that sh*t. You worked your a** off to eat everything in sight to get big as hell.

If you got a problem with the way you look, then you need to do something about it. Excuses sound best to the people that’s making them up.”

And now he’s offered somewhat of an apology on Twitter, saying:

“I’m not apologizing for what I said I’m apologizing for the bad choice of wording and execution of my point around obesity …/Y’all seen my documentary I was brought in this world from a plus size mother and my sisters are plus size as well.. I am concerned always/We always associate addictions to cocaine, Heroine, and or alcoholic abuse… Food is the #1 addiction in American #TruthTweet/This is what happens when you decide to not just be an artist or an actor but use your heart… It creates controversy and unwanted energy/I’m done with the topic… I’m sure my last round of tweets won’t be posted cause the goal is to get hits and traffic on your sites.”

While I’m all for empowering people to take charge of their own health, wellness, and fitness, there is nothing empowering about calling anyone the f word, nasty, or shaming people because of their weight or appearance. And not all people who are struggling with a weight issue are struggling because they cannot control their eating habits. Just like you said yourself Tyrese, no two situations are the same. Some people, (such as myself) struggle with a thyroid disorder; others have genetic issues that predispose them to weight gain, and these aren’t excuses I’m offering up–it’s science.

The old adage “What Susie says of Sally says more of Susie than Sally” rings true, though. Gibson’s comments reveal more about himself than anyone else–particularly his own feelings of blame, shame, guilt, contempt, and disgust for himself–he revealed in a 2009 interview that he at one time had a severe body image issue, and wouldn’t even face himself in the mirror.

“How lucky is it that mirrors steam up after a hot shower?” Tyrese Gibson asks. “I didn’t have to look at what I’d done to myself.” And every morning for a year, he didn’t look.

Gibson went on to offer his own tips for weight loss and becoming comfortable with body image: establishing self love, maintaining control and working at your own pace.

Tyrese, those are great tips. But in the future, please don’t project your personal issues on the rest of the population–the bulk of America who is struggling with obesity. Self love is, as I’m sure you know, hard enough sometimes, without the media and celebrities force feeding us a bunch of negative bullshit about our less than perfect bodies, lives, partners, whatever. We can feel bad about ourselves all by ourselves, without you adding to it. Your negative comments are one thing this “fat girl” will not be eating. Bullshit, like yours, sounds best to the people who are spewing it.

A large part of making shift happen is accepting people for who they are and where they are; meeting them where they’re at. If “fat and nasty” is where they’re at, your comments aren’t going to help. Self love is necessary at every step of the journey; negative self talk and degrading yourself while looking in the mirror is in no way, shape, or form self love. Refusal to look in a mirror is not self love. Accepting the “fat and nasty” is. In fact, perhaps one of the greatest acts of self love is to find compassion for others–something your comments greatly lacked.

I am not asking you to feel sorry for anyone. The bottom line is that everyone should be accountable for their diet and everyone should exercise. However, losing weight is hard–even more so when you have odds against you, so be it a thyroid problem, a genetic predisposition to weight gain, a problem with emotional overeating, depression, an eating disorder, whatever.

What I am asking you to do, however, is to have consideration. Don’t have pity; have consideration.

We aren’t “fat and nasty” and we don’t eat everything in sight, which is why your comments were a little bit hard to digest. I have now let them go where they belong, Tyrese–the shitter.

And now I’m going to the gym.

-April Dawn Ricchuito

  • PlusSizedBeauty

    Like the writer, I have a thyroid issue and PCOS, but I’ve been able to lose weight – to save my life and not because Tyrese thinks I feel fat and nasty. Lol. It’s not always easy and some people don’t have the support they need to make it happen or to keep the pounds away.

    I think we black people have dealt with the slave mentality way of addressing issues in our lives. This is a prime example. This is what slave owners did to our ancestors to “provoke” change in them. However, this won’t work any longer. We don’t have to do this to encourage each other to live healthier lifestyles. Tyrese – try telling that woman that she’s beautiful, but she might feel better if she exercised. There’s a right way and a wrong way to deliver a message. This was NOT it. Black people have to do better about delivering messages filled with love and not hatred.

  • Misty_Moonsilver

    Come on…. the majority of folks EAT to get obese. Of course there are thyroid issues but its not as common as people act like. And like Ty said, Excuses only sound good when you’re the one giving them. Health is NOT something stressed in the black community.

  • Treece

    As I said in my original post about this fool and this topic: He has definitely lost a fan. He can keep his sorry ass apology. Sometimes words make all the difference, so saying “I’m not apologizing for what I said, I’m apologizing for my wording” is a bunch of bull-ish run over twice to most people. It’s amazing how in one simple agreement to a twitter account, a celebrities true colors come shining through.

    I do not know one fat person who has ever MAINTAINED weight loss through bullying. Never met one, never heard of one. And the gall of him to mention his mother and sisters in his “apology” as being plus sized women after he spoke the way he did? Seriously? I wonder if he has delivered a personal apology to them.

  • Margaret

    Tyrese – didn’t your mama teach you that it’s not what you say, it’s the way you say it? I wonder if he calls his sisters fat and nasty. That’s just rude, crude, and socially unacceptable.

    Go back to the drawing board, my brother. If you want to inspire people, be inspiring. Hate speech demeans and tears down. You get nowhere with name-calling.

  • Anthony

    I disagree with author about the word fat. I am fat. That is just a fact. For years black people got offended over being called black but once we accepted that word, we shut down a host of insults. Fat just describes size, it says nothing about who you are. There are great fat athletes, fact octogenarians, and fat lovers. Getting in the best shape possible is a great thing, but the reality may be that the best shape you can achieve and maintain may still leave you “fat” by common standards. Since that is the case, accept yourself and don’t let words get you down.

  • http://gravatar.com/kanyade Kanyade

    Bulimia is also a terrible disorder, Ty.

  • Orange Starr Happy Hunting

    and it can ruin your teeth, erode your esophagus, throws off your bodies electrolytes etc etc etc

  • Sandy

    I disagree with you. You see, most people are obese not necessarily because they ‘can’t stop eating’ but because they use food to medicate their pain. Food then becomes their drug of choice just like alcohol is to the alcoholic or drugs are to the junkie. I was obese literally my whole life until 9 years ago when I lost 100 pounds & I have since maintained a healthy weight. I can tell you for a fact that the best way to help an obese person is to encourage her to express her emotions in healthier ways (instead of using food to mask them),love her body just as it is but strive to get healthier, learn to cook & eat healthier meals, eat mindfully & discover the joy of moving her body through an exercise she loves(swimming, walking & dancing usually work for an overweight person who hasn’t exercised in a while). Telling an obese person she has a ‘nasty body’ & ‘should just stop eating’ doesn’t help matters anymore than telling an anorexic person to ‘just eat something’.

  • http://twitter.com/scbeauty77 SCBeauty (@scbeauty77)

    Why does Tyrese seem to have diarrhea of the mouth these days? He is annoying.

  • Orange Starr Happy Hunting

    You know what I found most distasteful about his comments is that he stated his mom and sisters were overweight, O_O so I guess he is saying they fat and nasty too.
    There is a legitimate issue with weight in this country but there are better ways to promote health than to berate folks.

  • http://gravatar.com/kanyade Kanyade

    no real proof. just germs of truth buried inside a number of hollywood “blind items”.

    I’ll re-direct the deflection back to the subject at hand.

  • E.M.S.

    Perfect example of a fit person failing to properly address obesity. Making someone feel like crap about their body is not how you get them to be healthier.

    Anyone who uses that technique is obviously not concerned with that person’s health (um hello, health extends to the mind as well as the body, you can’t very well have a healthy mind if you constantly beat yourself up about how you look). This sounds like the classic “I just don’t like looking at fat people” mindset disguised as “I’m trying to help you be healthy.”

  • mary mary

    I’m pretty sure bullying and shaming tactics are not touted as the ways to battle obesity. If you are really concerned about the health aspects of obesity, try giving real solutions, instead of negativity.

  • Darcy

    I completely agree. Putting people down and calling them names is not motivation and will only make them feel worse.
    You can be pro-health without being “anti-fat”. Then he says his mom and sisters are overweight but I guess he really thinks in his head when he made the comment fat and nasty he wasn’t referring to them. I guess that is similar to when racists say “I have a black friend” in order to justify a negative comment or action against blacks. Notice how he called his sisters and mom “plus size”. Way to make a euphemism now.

  • T

    And let the church say… AMEN…

  • Dave

    I have an obese friend who occasionally complains about how hard it is to find a man because of her weight. Am I wrong when I reply “then lose some?” I’m all for live and let live and I understand that losing weight can be difficult. But when you try to sell me the Monique-esque “big is beautiful” line when your big is more obese than merely thick, it provokes a reaction. And honestly some obese folk really are nasty. That much weight can cause some serious B.O. issues. If you have weight control problems (for whatever reason) then show some discipline and change your diet to account for your body’s needs. The only excuse for obesity is a bad diet. That’s just some old fashioned honesty, “fat-shaming” be damned.

  • MommieDearest

    Some medications can also cause you to gain weight. My mom became ill and had to take a steroid based medication. She gained alot of weight quickly because of it.

  • http://gravatar.com/jamesfrmphilly jamesfrmphilly

    “they use food to medicate their pain”

    BINGO!

    that is what i do. i have to watch myself to say in control.
    not every one is able to do that. we need to help one another.

    each one teach one.

  • http://gravatar.com/jamesfrmphilly jamesfrmphilly

    fruits, nuts, grains and vegetables…..

  • Anthony

    Somebody needs to ask Tyrese why he didn’t call his Mom and sisters fat and nasty? Could it be that he actually sees them as people and he shows them basic respect?
    It would be good if he did that with fat people he does not know.

  • Anthony

    As a poster said in another thread, she might just need o stay in her lane. If she is really heavy, maybe she needs to find men who like plus size women. There is no point in trying to convince someone who does not find heavy people attractive. In this Internet age, find people who might be into you is easier than ever.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    Thank you! But I bet if someone else called his momma and sisters “fat and nasty” he would have a twitter meltdown seeing red. I wonder if his daughter ever become “fat and nasty” would he have the same choice words for her…no. So I wouldn’t even waste my time with an open letter to Tyrese the guy is on one and don’t want to come off of it lately.

  • A

    As a slight overweight person, Tyrese’s comments were offense and pretty much uncalled for! I have a thyroid issue as well and I don’t need a wannabe nutritionist telling me that I’ve “earned” my belly fat! Negro please have several seats and go back to reading class!

  • Sandy

    @ Jamesfrmphilly: Yes, absolutely. Several people use food to self-medicate. For example, studies have shown a correlation between childhood sexual abuse & obesity in women & this correlation is stronger in black women because most of us sisters find it difficult to seek professional psychological help. We can never know the emotional issues/ trauma that pushes people to overeat or undereat & so instead of judging/deriding them, we should show compassion & assist them to become healthier.

  • Kemba1248

    …..Its interesting that you bring up the topic of weight and fat people and all of a sudden everybody on this site has a “Thyroid” condition……..

    Fat is not beautiful people, its just fat. Don’t want to be fat, exercise and stop shoving bad food into your mouths. Plain and simple!

    No excuses!

    People these days are always looking for someone else to blame for their problems. The problem is YOU.

  • Ash

    His punctuation (or lack thereof) is horrible.

  • Ms. Vee

    Why are people more outraged with Tyrese’s view on fatness and less outraged with the fact that many of our loved ones/friends will most likely die at a young age from obesity induced heart attacks or lose limbs because of diabetes? Am I missing something?

  • Ms Write

    What part of anything anyone has said about this overweight issue read as “coddling” to you? Coddling, no. You just seem to feed off negativity.

  • Ms Write

    Sobecause obesity causes diabetes we have to start being rude and nasty to each other? When has that ever been ok or proven as an effective weight loss technique? Most of the people who make comments about big people are just insulting and could care less about their health.

  • http://twitter.com/scbeauty77 SCBeauty (@scbeauty77)

    I agree Orange. Let someone say something about his female relatives in his presence Tyrese would go steer crazy cussing them out and all…he needs to sit down and be quiet because he comes off as a know it all butt hole.

  • texaschainsawlovin’

    From Tyrese’s sorry not sorry tweet, I am guessing he either has a lot of women / mom issues that he needs to work on. Way to throw your family under the bus in regards to your anger management / narcissistic issues with overweight people.

    “Y’all seen my documentary I was brought in this world from a plus size mother and my sisters are plus size as well.. I am concerned always” There is a difference bt concerned and caring and abusive and hostile.

  • swade85

    If you’re fat, then own it. I can see if you aren’t fat and someone calls you fat. But if you are fat, how can you get offended when someone else’s recognizes it. We call people big head, big ears, big nose, etc all the time. So I agree with Tyrese. Singing Kumbaya with your group of fat friends won’t lose any calories. If you have a health issue, BUT YOU’RE EATING HEALTHY, that’s one thing. But a lot of these “fat” people AREN’T EATING HEALTHY or GOING TO THE GYM TWICE A MONTH.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    You’re being a jack@ss…shut your mouth. How about you skip my comment next time.

  • Anthony

    Personally, being called fat is no big deal to me. Being called fat and nasty is just ill mannered name calling or bullying. Most of us are not blessed to look like Kerrie Washington or Denzil Washington, and people notice traits we have that they find unattractive. Making a disparaging remark about someone and then covering it up with false concern about their health is cowardly.

  • Nope

    I’m skinny. I’ve always been thin, but I don’t agree with you or Tyrese. He is rude. You are rude. Being overweight is a personal issue. It is none of your or Tyrese’s business if people decide that they don’t want to lose the weight.

    Let’ just be real about what this is really about. Tyrese and many people like you find it okay to be disrespectful to overweight people especially women when they don’t look the way you want them to.

    It is not. I just find it rude and disrespectful. And for him to disrespect his fans like that is stupid. Folks need to stop supporting people who can’t even show you a basic level of human respect. These women that he thinks are fat and nasty line his pockets. That’s all the reason he needs to keep his dumb mouth shut. I can’t even believe someone who makes money from the support of fans would open his mouth to say something that could hurt his cash flow. He is pretty dumb, but black women stay supporting guys like this who diss them, so I’m sure many overweight women will continue to listen.

    Other groups of people vote with their feat and purses. If he has such a problem with overweight people, these people should keep their money to themselves.

    I’m so sick of dumb, not funny celebrities trying to be funny by bullying people and being rude. It’s like an epidemic these days that some celebrity opens his mouth to give his stupid opinion. Stick to singing, acting, or whatever you were doing. People have PR people because dummies like him and John Mayer can lose fans and then money from opening their mouths.

    And bullying people about being overweight doesn’t make them want to lose weight. Most people who make these comments just want to put folks down. This is about him wanting to hurt people’s feelings not about him wanting to encourage people to lose weight. And that’s what makes this so bad. These are his fans, and he wanted to hurt their feelings. Yet they will continue to give this insensitive prick their hard earned money.

  • Anon

    I’m with (can’t believe I’m saying this) Tyrese on this one. While I’m happy that more black women are taking charge of their health, I’ve seen more people shamed into losing weight (and keeping it off), than I have of “making a lifestyle choice”. Most folks don’t make those till they’ve been shamed or called out on it. All of the weight issues don’t show up in one day, and usually have underlying reasons. HOWEVER, the motivation to DO something about it usually comes from folks realizing that they are missing out on something (many times, a good mate) and that’s when they get serious about it.

    If it takes a Dr., Tyrese, your family, whatever… hearing how others view you DOES tend to push people in the direction of changing some choices. Messages filled with love tend to end up with resentful folks because they were guilted into it, or didn’t want to let someone else down. Choices made for self-preservation tend to stick.

  • Anthony

    If a noticeable number of fuller fannies refused to take a seat at the next Fast and Furious movie, and polling said Tyrese was the reason, he would have even more time to perfect his physique!

  • Devo

    That’s his opinion ladys and gentlemen if you don’t agree move on. Not saying I do or I don’t agree but that would my opinion. Every body is not here to make us feel better about or self. Get some self esteem if your realy ok with you others opinions of you would not interest you.

    Gentleman always B-)Devo out.

  • Sally Bated

    One thing that some heavy women cannot handle (not all, not even most, just a small percentage) is that some women just have better heredity when it comes to being able to eat alot and stay tiny women instead of getting heavy. I notice have notice some heavy women going around saying that if a woman is very tiny then they must eat very little. Fact is some women can eat the same things as a heavy woman and eat more of them, get very little exercise and stay tiny women. So, sorry to some heavy women but some people just have better heredity than you in that way. Now, I want to point out that eating too much saturated fat and sugar, and getting no physical activity can cause health problems in a skinny person. I am also not saying that all tiny women are big eater but some are. It is like b/c society dogs heavy women, all they got going to feel better is to claim that there are no tiny women who can eat like hogs and not get heavy pugo, pugo. Sorry heavy women but some women have better heredity than others in this regard.

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