Jill Scott and sonIn the May issue of Ebony magazine, Jill Scott opens up about the ups and downs of being a single mom. Despite her illustrious career and considerable resources, Jill—like many single parents—realizes that to successfully raise a child, you need a village.

I’m a big advocate of villages. As a the solo-parent of a 7-year-old son, my village has been an integral part of our life so much so that I rarely call myself a single mother. Because in truth, I’m not parenting him all on my own.

And while my village largely consists of family—my parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, friends, and mentors—other people’s teams may look a bit different.

In the article excerpt, Jill mentioned “aunties, grandmoms, and friends” and some took offense to her description of a woman-heavy village to help raise her son.

Frequent CLUTCH commenter, Tonton Michael, wondered:

“You need a village: some aunties, grandmoms, friends.”

That’s the make up of the village huh? Looks like little ole Jett is going to have to figure out manhood on his own. Welcome to the club kid, beware of false idols, women who say what men should be, your fellow boys. Turn not to TV, music, or sports for inspiration treat sex like boxing and protect your self at all times. Learn the secrets of money and wealth and trust no one including the village. Good luck to you.

His comment got me to thinking. When we are cultivating our support systems for helping to raise healthy and happy kids (wither you’re single or not…you still need people), should gender factor into who’s apart of your village?

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  • P

    When it comes to this village/support system, parents (single or not) have to consider who is around their child. If the man your son is around is oblivious to how to provide for his family, earn an honest living, respect women – the male child will follow within those same steps. It is the same for daughters, most daughters will pattern after their mothers. I believe Jill is aware of this as well. So I think when she made that statement it was coming from the point of view that generally the grandmoms and aunties step in if the father is absent. Gender makes a world of a difference to our kids. Not only gender, but generational influences as well. Imo…there is an obvious difference between children who were reared (or influenced) by the grandparents and the ones who were not.

    If children have one parent, I think that parent should make the necessary sacrifices to ensure the village consists of, positive men, women, and great churches/communities. More than anything, don’t just assume because it’s family that they are make up the best village.

    • P

      He really is a handsome lil fellow!

  • AMW

    #1 Daddy

  • chocolush

    you are absolutely right….listen to their poetry I mean lyrics…HO..B..and all the other deragatory messages…about their supposed to be first love women…