eve-maximillion-cooper

When you seriously date a man with children, you are ideally building a relationship with him and his kids as well. Eve finds herself in that situation as she prepares to marry her boyfriend, Maximillion Cooper, who is the father of four kids, who range from 4 to 10 years old in age.

She spoke candidly with Sister 2 Sister Magazine about what it’s like to date a man with children and divulged if she plans to add to their big, blended family:

I love it now. It took a minute. I was like, ‘I’m not sure this is what I want to be my life.’ You know? But honestly, it’s been three years now and we’ve gone on vacations together, and they’re the sweetest kids. We talk about having kids. We talk about marriage. The kids are excited. They want a brown baby sister.

It’s beautiful that Eve has embraced her boyfriend and his children with open arms and they’re all looking forward to building a family together. She joins other step moms like Jada Pinkett-Smith who make blended families work with openness, understanding and love.

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  • No Kids Please

    A man could be absolutely terrific in every way — intellectually, witty, ambitious, handsome, etc., etc. But, if he’s got kids, noooooo thank you. Not interested in men with kids. Way too much to deal with.

    • talaktochoba

      how completely selfish and immature–as if you were never a kid yourself;

    • F78

      Her life decision> your judgement.

      Black women in general have enough to deal with from the ills imposed upon us in society, and if this is a deal breaker for her, then so be it. I’m not keen, either, on being expected to be on the financial, emotional, or frankly any other type of hook for anyone in whose children’s lives I’ll be expected to have little to no say. If women who accept such things in their lives-many without benefit of wedlock or the promise of other things that they want out of a relationship-find themselves SOL one day, it will be because they accepted such great responsibility before affirming that their needs would be met. For me, this goes DOUBLE for the never-been-married-with-kids. If I meet a man over 30 who’s never seen the inside of a chapel, but has kids and who is just NOW looking for TheOne to marry, I lace up my track cleats and start looking for the next exit. Truthfully, no matter his excuse, I can’t confess to having much confidence in his relationship decision making skills.

      I can definitely understand where she might be coming from. No, it’s not about being anti-child. But it IS about wanting to be able to enjoy and learn about one’s significant other without the added pressure of instant family. Being a woman who is without children and who is CONSTANTLY being asked out by men with kids leads me to wonder if many of these same men would date ME if I had kids. To me, it’s an unacceptable double standard-and it becomes even more of one when the man in question makes it clear that he’s not willing to participate in raising any more children (born to us). Even if such a thing would be a financial burden. Being a woman of childbearing age, my question becomes usually something along the lines of “Well, then, what’s in it for me?” After all, there’s no reason why a man with children shouldn’t be able to meet, date and marry a woman with children, too. Do the Brady Bunch thing. But that seems to happen much more rarely than the guy with “life experience” runs after the sweet young thing (with no responsibility).

      The take home here? Whether you’re a Christian or not, there’s still a lot to be said in my book for being equally yoked, and if that particular arrangement isn’t pursued, I personally would expect a man who assumes that amount of privilege when it comes to my attention to exercise a commensurate level of care FOR EVERYONE in his life (in all aspects)-including me.

      It’s quite telling that men feel QUITE free to say-and I’ve heard them do it-that “I’m not raising anyone else’s children”. But if someone like me DARES to say the same thing, I’d be called all manner and type of selfish and uncaring. But I can’t agree in good conscience with those chastising me. Because, it will all be worth it if/when I ever DO have a child that I tell him or her that “Mommy made sure that Daddy was a man who handled his responsibilities BEFORE she decided to settle down and make you.

    • talaktochoba

      F78, you really need to get a grip;

      i make no distinctions between men and women in my assessment–but it sure seems like you need to learn the distinction between men and boys;

      children didn’t ask to be born and have no say in choosing their parents-but, it’s a d**n shame that wolves and whales take better care of children in their village than we so-called superior humans;

      what’s worse, i can remember in my young life when it wasn’t always that way, where you would find shelter from a storm in a neighbour’s home, hot chocolate and cookies in the kitchen while they called your parents to let them know you’re safe–or just had to be switched for something you knew was wrong and had to wonder how long you had to hide out with friends to duck the belt waiting for you at your front door (and please, don’t let it be after dark…);

      those times seem gone, maybe forever, and more’s the pity;

      so trust me, what I said to you was tame and polite compared to what I’d say to a male with your sentiment, a male doubtless crowing how he’s king of this and that but won’t take care of the kingdom simply because it didn’t come directly from him;

      you can’t be captain of the ship and blame the crew first storm that blows, because life is full of storms–men understand this, but boys don’t;

      you need to bear that distinction foremost in mind in future dealing with males, and maybe in time you will heal from your current bitterness almost certainly brought on by some boy you mistook for a man;

  • AdorkABLE

    There are also a number of runaway children from regular families, along with threats posed to children by related men. If you are an advocate for Black girls, then you should talk about both sides, not just your opinion.

  • Krista

    I find it so beautiful that Eve loves her man and his children and they will make a beautiful family. I wish all of Gods greatest blessings on them.

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