eve-maximillion-cooper

When you seriously date a man with children, you are ideally building a relationship with him and his kids as well. Eve finds herself in that situation as she prepares to marry her boyfriend, Maximillion Cooper, who is the father of four kids, who range from 4 to 10 years old in age.

She spoke candidly with Sister 2 Sister Magazine about what it’s like to date a man with children and divulged if she plans to add to their big, blended family:

I love it now. It took a minute. I was like, ‘I’m not sure this is what I want to be my life.’ You know? But honestly, it’s been three years now and we’ve gone on vacations together, and they’re the sweetest kids. We talk about having kids. We talk about marriage. The kids are excited. They want a brown baby sister.

It’s beautiful that Eve has embraced her boyfriend and his children with open arms and they’re all looking forward to building a family together. She joins other step moms like Jada Pinkett-Smith who make blended families work with openness, understanding and love.

Source

  • MimiLuvs

    I’m happyto hear that Eve had took the time to reflect about whether or not she wanted to date a man that has children.
    I know a few ladies who didn’t and now is regretting dating the men.

  • Anthony

    Why all the Eve stories lately? Beyond dating a white man, what has she done?

  • Apple

    4 kids? How dreadful. Well good she’s rich

  • Afrostyling

    But that’s not the case here is it?

  • IJusWannaSay…

    As a childfree woman myself, this is indeed an issue and I applaud her for making the right decisions for herself.
    As MimiLuvs said, many women fall into relationships with men with children and get a rude awakening when it’s not what they had expected.

    I respect women who get into these relationships with a clear mind and understanding of what’s expected of them. Blended families are the very commonplace now.

  • IJusWannaSay…

    Google is your friend…:)

  • L

    @Apple

    good She’s rich???? honey, those kids were well taken care of before Eve came along. You better google her boyfriend.

  • Anthony

    I took a quick peek on Wikipedia, and she is busy, but I didn’t see any recent huge success. I see her boyfriend is successful thorough.

  • L

    Blended Families work as long as the stepParent or significant other respects the biological parent. Know that because you are not the biological parent, you cannot overstep that boundary. Of course there are situations that are different such as the biological parent that has never been in the child’s life but with mutual respect and communication, blended families work.

  • Ask_ME

    I knew your rants sounded familiar. You are Chilly Road. You popped up on the scene as soon as “she” was banned.

  • http://gravatar.com/danps Dan

    I think what really matters is how you feel about who you are dating, not the kids. If you’re crazy about him/her, you’ll figure out a way to make it work with the kids. If you’re not, it doesn’t matter if the kids are the greatest in the world.

    I married a single mom about 10 years ago (didn’t have any myself at the time) and I always thought the most important thing – by a lot – was how good the two of us were with each other.

    I think putting that first helped. But whatever it was that we did, something worked out. There was a bit of turbulence while we were dating between me and her son, but after that we got along great. I was even able to adopt him not long after we married.

  • MimiLuvs

    @BeReal

    Men also have to watch out for what type of women they have around their children as well. I know one too many women who have issues (remnants from a history of abuse)because of their “step-mothers”.

  • victoria

    She recently put out an album so she has to make the rounds.

  • victoria

    She’s rich and he is worth about 50 million. Im sure that made dating a man with 4 kids much easier.

  • talaktochoba

    this relationship is just ridiculous enough on its face–no one knows if it has any more depth than a piece of paper–to work;

    at least she chose wiser than Eldrick Woods or the fna Echo Cinco or Michael Jordan…

  • AnnT

    Blended families do work. I think the fact that all four of his children are from his ex-wife makes for an easier transition.
    If he was a philanderer and baby-mama machine, Eve would have so many more problems to deal with.

  • victoria

    I LOOOOOOVED my stepmother, Sadly, she passed away when I was 20. Such a good, generous woman. She and my mother got a long like peas in a pod. To this day, if you mention my SM’s name, my mother will go on and on about what a lovely women she was. Why did she marry my work-shy father? I will never know.

    Point is, yes, blended families work when the step and biological parents have a mutual respect.

  • Anthony

    That’s for sure!

  • http://gravatar.com/jamesfrmphilly jamesfrmphilly

    her new music sucks….

  • http://theunsungstoryteller.tumblr.com theMuseintheMirror

    I think it also depends on how young or old the step kids are as well. When both of my parents married to different people, I was under the age of 8 and I didn’t have a say in their love for each other. However, I think that if I was a teenager I think that things would be a little differently. I wouldn’t have had a good relationship with my step parents to begin with. So it just takes time. The younger the kids are, the better. The step parent also has to be patient and accommodate to filling into an odd, awkward kind of position in the family.

  • a

    Dating a white man is enough.

  • Simone L

    In Washington recently, a man put his crying 6 week old daughter in the freezer to stop her from crying. The mother didn’t feel safe leaving the baby with him, but she did anyway. And that was the biological father. Let’s not forget the Chinese woman who flushed her baby down the toilet. Please… let’s really BE REAL. Intent to harm has nothing to do with common DNA.

  • lol

    I have to agree with BeReal in these situations (and thankfully that does not seem to be the case here). that’s why I don’t do kids oow and I won’t date a man with kids. it’s too much for me.

  • lol

    I agree, but the problem is there are far too many folks (male and female) who grow up and report of abuse from a step-parent, just too many…

  • Z

    “Blended Families work as long as the stepParent or significant other respects the biological parent”

    I have to laugh at this. I take it you have kids?

    the disrespect is usually coming from the biological parent, not the SO/step-parent.

    ” Know that because you are not the biological parent, you cannot overstep that boundary”

    most do not, in fact, it is usually the biological parent (esp babymama or babydady ) who tries to overstep their boundary in the new relationship, acting all jealous and stupid.

  • Z

    you are both right. sadly I sometimes think the mindset that made that person a babymama/dady is the same mindset that prevents them from getting a quality mate…

  • victoria

    I was raised in a single family home by a mother who chose men low on the social ladder, I need both hands and feet to count the number of men who were in and out of our home. My mother was college educated, well- paying job, nice home in the burbs, but she collected ”stray dogs.” BeReal, one of the reasons I chose marriage and a fine, upstanding, hard-working man was because I did not want the same for my children. Both women and men have to be careful about who they bring around their children. And guess what?… Many of my friends experienced the same thing. I do think it happens far too often.

  • victoria

    Im with BeReal on this one.

    I had an amazing step mother. She was a genuine angel. But I agree with BeReal’s statement that the children are often ignored – rarely given the opportunity to develop a bond with the new partner and are often not asked how they feel about a new person living under the same roof as them. Im not discounting blended families, but let’s not pretend that parents ALWAYS consider their children when bringing new people into their lives.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    I think Eve’s situation is a bit easier to accept because Max was married when he had his children, now if he wasn’t married and had 4 kids by different women now that would be hard to accept and met with the side eye…lol. But good for them, making a blended family work is hard work and takes time and then add race/culture into the mix can get a bit tricky but if they are finding their way and are happy that is all that matter. Blended families are quickly becoming the norm and a reality for many people (especially singles without kids) because if you are single and going on your late 20s+ the chances of meeting another single without any kid(s) is starting to get low especially given location.

  • SMH

    Like she has a choice.

  • apple

    thats good that he’s rich too! i had no idea

  • Erica

    Blended Families entails a lot. But It works and I think it turns out to be more of a blessing than not. You have the best of two worlds.

    First and foremost – it all depends on the maturity level (not age) of ALL people (parents) involved and the love you have for each other. Just speaking from experience…

    If the parents involved are not mature, then they aren’t going to be a mature enough to understand their role. If the children’s mother understands she is the mother of the children and not the wife – then that resolves the conflict of the man feeling torn between two families. And the mother not trying to control or have a say- so over a household that isn’t hers. He is the father of the children – not the husband to the mother. Next, the wife is the wife (not the mother of the kids) — but this is the tricky part. He was a father before you said “I do” – so therefore – you are not just married to him – you have a family now (a mother – but a stepmother). Knowing this, the kids should come first and deserve the same attention/love that he or she would receive within their mother’s home. The wife has to take it a step further by learning how to (mother) a child without overstepping her boundaries as the mother. It’s the same scenario as not desiring another woman to have a say-so over your household, the same goes with having the (final) say-so with children.

    Yes, there should be a balance. Pretty much, I think it is key for the children’s father/mother to respect the spouse and the spouse must remember more than one person is involved.

    I know this method has contributed to the success of Jada Pinkett –Smith’s family. It has contributed to mine as well.

    I also want to commend Eve. She said “I love it now” – she owned up to the truth. Obviously, they worked it out and now they appear to have a great situation. That is beautiful and now they want a brown baby sister. I couldn’t help but say, “awww”. Much success to this happy couple!

  • Sandy

    How is she a stepmom if she’s not married to the dude?

  • Erica

    Yep, that’s why I wish them the best. Eve is speaking as if they have already jumped the broom. I hope they will. They seem as if they have invested a lot.

  • Indeed

    Step-parents actually have no enforceable legal rights over the step-children.

  • GG

    Yes, she keeps talking about her future children when is the wedding….

  • antisocialengineering

    Bereal aka Chilly Road on her/his? “good black man” high horse as usual.

    Don’t you people ever question your prejudices and assumptions even for the sake of a change?

    It’s evident that much of your self image and your own lowly social status is heavily invested in poor men being bad people so that your none too impressive self can have someone to be better than.

    What a sad deluded wacko you are. You’re not an advocate for single mothers or poor men, even though you should be, because you’re not as distant from them as you try to pretend you are. Anyone who has hobnobbed with morons in a higher debt class can see that. LMAO!

    But like most on this site you’re the victim of a false consciousness implanted by people who view you in exactly the same way you view baby and her boyfriends.

    You’re no better than the blackest, slackest babymama to them. You don’t even cut it as a useful idiot because your representations of the ideas you’ve absorbed are so crude and unsophisticated that it’s easy to trace back where you get them from.

    With you we can see the hands and strings of the puppeteer without even look for them, and all that does is make you a liability to him . . . . .

    That’s why you’re not as distant from babymama and her boyfriends as you try to pretend you are.

    :-)

  • Pepper

    Sorry tala….but your comment makes absolutely no sense

  • Pepper

    BeReal: I hear yeah. A long time ago a friend told me that her daughter came to her (at about age 5, or 6) and told her that her husband (the daughter’s stepfather) had touched her inappropriately. She said she asked her husband and he said No he didn’t touch her. Duuuuuuuh…yeah right….like he was going to admit to abusing the little girl.

  • No Kids Please

    A man could be absolutely terrific in every way — intellectually, witty, ambitious, handsome, etc., etc. But, if he’s got kids, noooooo thank you. Not interested in men with kids. Way too much to deal with.

  • talaktochoba

    how completely selfish and immature–as if you were never a kid yourself;

  • talaktochoba

    this is really so simple–you sit the kids down and talk to them in terms they can understand and identify with..namely, P-R-I-D-E;

    all Eve has to tell them is their father is proud to have her much as he is his kids–she doesn’t want to hurt him by taking a problem between her and the kids to him, and they don’t want to hurt their father doing the same thing;

    she is proud to be by their father’s side as he is to have her, proud he considers her of all the women he could’ve picked as worthy to be in the company of his children–do they really wish to shame him, or honour his choice?

    EVERY child understands honour;

  • talaktochoba

    simply because you are not old enough to understand it does not automatically render it nonsensical, junior…

  • AdorkABLE

    There are also a number of runaway children from regular families, along with threats posed to children by related men. If you are an advocate for Black girls, then you should talk about both sides, not just your opinion.

  • F78

    Her life decision> your judgement.

    Black women in general have enough to deal with from the ills imposed upon us in society, and if this is a deal breaker for her, then so be it. I’m not keen, either, on being expected to be on the financial, emotional, or frankly any other type of hook for anyone in whose children’s lives I’ll be expected to have little to no say. If women who accept such things in their lives-many without benefit of wedlock or the promise of other things that they want out of a relationship-find themselves SOL one day, it will be because they accepted such great responsibility before affirming that their needs would be met. For me, this goes DOUBLE for the never-been-married-with-kids. If I meet a man over 30 who’s never seen the inside of a chapel, but has kids and who is just NOW looking for TheOne to marry, I lace up my track cleats and start looking for the next exit. Truthfully, no matter his excuse, I can’t confess to having much confidence in his relationship decision making skills.

    I can definitely understand where she might be coming from. No, it’s not about being anti-child. But it IS about wanting to be able to enjoy and learn about one’s significant other without the added pressure of instant family. Being a woman who is without children and who is CONSTANTLY being asked out by men with kids leads me to wonder if many of these same men would date ME if I had kids. To me, it’s an unacceptable double standard-and it becomes even more of one when the man in question makes it clear that he’s not willing to participate in raising any more children (born to us). Even if such a thing would be a financial burden. Being a woman of childbearing age, my question becomes usually something along the lines of “Well, then, what’s in it for me?” After all, there’s no reason why a man with children shouldn’t be able to meet, date and marry a woman with children, too. Do the Brady Bunch thing. But that seems to happen much more rarely than the guy with “life experience” runs after the sweet young thing (with no responsibility).

    The take home here? Whether you’re a Christian or not, there’s still a lot to be said in my book for being equally yoked, and if that particular arrangement isn’t pursued, I personally would expect a man who assumes that amount of privilege when it comes to my attention to exercise a commensurate level of care FOR EVERYONE in his life (in all aspects)-including me.

    It’s quite telling that men feel QUITE free to say-and I’ve heard them do it-that “I’m not raising anyone else’s children”. But if someone like me DARES to say the same thing, I’d be called all manner and type of selfish and uncaring. But I can’t agree in good conscience with those chastising me. Because, it will all be worth it if/when I ever DO have a child that I tell him or her that “Mommy made sure that Daddy was a man who handled his responsibilities BEFORE she decided to settle down and make you.

  • talaktochoba

    F78, you really need to get a grip;

    i make no distinctions between men and women in my assessment–but it sure seems like you need to learn the distinction between men and boys;

    children didn’t ask to be born and have no say in choosing their parents-but, it’s a d**n shame that wolves and whales take better care of children in their village than we so-called superior humans;

    what’s worse, i can remember in my young life when it wasn’t always that way, where you would find shelter from a storm in a neighbour’s home, hot chocolate and cookies in the kitchen while they called your parents to let them know you’re safe–or just had to be switched for something you knew was wrong and had to wonder how long you had to hide out with friends to duck the belt waiting for you at your front door (and please, don’t let it be after dark…);

    those times seem gone, maybe forever, and more’s the pity;

    so trust me, what I said to you was tame and polite compared to what I’d say to a male with your sentiment, a male doubtless crowing how he’s king of this and that but won’t take care of the kingdom simply because it didn’t come directly from him;

    you can’t be captain of the ship and blame the crew first storm that blows, because life is full of storms–men understand this, but boys don’t;

    you need to bear that distinction foremost in mind in future dealing with males, and maybe in time you will heal from your current bitterness almost certainly brought on by some boy you mistook for a man;

  • Krista

    I find it so beautiful that Eve loves her man and his children and they will make a beautiful family. I wish all of Gods greatest blessings on them.

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