Over the last week, Kelly Rowland has received so much praise after voicing her trials and tribulations in her new single, Dirty Laundry You’ve probably heard the song by now, but if not, here’s a recap:
A) Kelly talks about her abusive relationship:
“Hitting the window like it was me / And still it shattered / He pulled me out and said, ‘Don’t nobody love you but me / Not your mama / Not your daddy / and especially not Bey.’”
B) Kelly also sings about being in the shadows of Beyoncé, post-Destiny’s Child:
“When my sister was onstage / killing it like a … / I was enraged / feeling it like a ….,” she sings. “Went our separate ways but I was happy that she was killing it / Bittersweet, she was up and I was down / No lie, I feel good for her but what do I do now?”
Although news about being in an abusive relationship shocked many people, one could say the jealousy between Kelly and Beyoncé was something that people already assumed existed. The gossip blogs long speculated a rift between Kelly and Beyoncé’s friendship, but with Dirty Laundry Kelly proved at least some of the assumptions to be true.
In a recent Billboard interview, Kelly explained why she felt the need to vent on her song. Her goal was to inspire fans, not bring them down.
“It was very emotional. It took me days to record,” she told the magazine. “I had to get past being so upset and actually sing the song, not sob through it. I always hope that my music can inspire someone, the same way other artists inspire me.
Kelly isn’t the first artist to air her dirty laundry through song, and it’s not only being done by women. In Rihanna’s song Cold Case, which was released shortly after the infamous beating at the hands of Chris Brown, she sings:
“What you did to me was a crime/Cold Case Love/And I let you reach me one more time/But that’s enough/Your love was breaking the law/But I needed a witness/ So wake me up when it’s over/It don’t make any difference.”
Even one of hip-hop’s G.O.A.T’s, Nas, waxes poetic about his divorce from Kelis in his song, Strong Will Continue:
“How in the hell am I supposed to stay comfy/When I pay child support, alimony monthly” (…) “So I’ve stuck with some married women so fine/cheating while their husband rushing on the 40-yard line/Wonder if this is what my ex did the whole time.”
Sure, get it off your chest. When people vent, a weight feels as though it’s been lifted, but is there a type of person that vents?
According to Dr. Carla Rhodes, a D.C based psychologist, there is. She says, “A person who feels the need to vent and air their dirty laundry may have a high need for approval from others, and they also feel as if they should be accepted for their shortcomings and forgiven for their transgressions regardless of how dissonant they are with the personal values of their audience.”
We all know it’s good to vent at times, but does airing your dirt leave you open to even more criticism? There are tons of people who get joy out of knowing others are in pain and having a tough time emotionally.
Schadenfreude is real.
If you’re not familiar with the term schadenfreude, it’s pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.
I’m sure we’ve all experienced people who get a cheap thrill out of seeing someone’s downward spiral, or even to have their assumptions confirmed when someone vents about the issues going on in their life.
Sometimes maybe it’s better to keep things to yourself and not vent publicly. People will always assume things about another person, no one ever said a person has to prove them right.
What’s your opinion on venting and airing your dirty laundry?