The ParkersYou remember this phrase? “Heyyyyyy Professor Oglevee!” You should. It is one of the most memorable lines in recent television history, courtesy of Mo’Nique’s character “Nikki Parker” on the UPN classic “The Parkers.” The Academy Award-winner’s first major character pined after Professor Stanley Oglevee (Dorien Wilson) for five torturous seasons.

He ignored her affections and her attempts to kiss him each Christmas below the mistletoe and dated beautiful woman after beautiful woman. But, Ms. Parker was determined. She cared for the professor when he was ill, made spare keys to his apartment and even disrespected his girlfriends – all in the name of love.

It took five seasons of stalking before Professor Oglevee realized he was in love with Nikki. He interrupted her wedding to profess his love for her. The series ended with Nikki adding Oglevee as her surname and officially claiming the man that she had loved through all of the restraining orders and threats.

But, that is television. This is real life where fairy tales rarely end with a happily ever after.

Professor Oglevee never explained the reason why he wasn’t interested in Ms. Parker, but I suspect it had more to do with the stretch marks underneath her flower tunic shirts than her stalker tendencies. Face it. All men are not interested in girls with extra curves.

It might seem superficial because there is more to a woman than her external appearance; but seeing as I prefer tall, chocolate men with Caesar cuts, gorgeous teeth, and dimples, there is no need to be upset when my size 18 hips are not at the top of a man’s preference list.

Ladies of size, don’t resort to Nikki Parker’s stalking tactics. Instead, learn the “I’m not interested because of the scale numbers” behaviors. Here are five of them.

  • He might be concerned with your rolls than the buttered ones on the table if he keeps hinting that it would be healthier to order a salad than devour the steak, mashed potatoes, and broccoli you ordered.
  • Don’t be suckered into evening dates across town or midnight movies. That can be an indication that he either has another girlfriend or is embarrassed to be seen together in public.
  • It is natural for men to glance at other attractive women; but if his eyes roam to women with smaller waists and perkier breasts all the time, chances are he has little interest in what you have to offer him physically.
  • Fat jokes around his friends and relatives. Enough said.
  • All women, regardless of size, want to be complimented. What woman doesn’t want her significant other to tell her how gorgeous she is or how much he loves her smile. If he can never offer praise without adding something about weight behind it e.g. you’re beautiful for a plus-sized girl, then he’s just not that into you.

You deserve to be desired. If he can’t get with the extra pounds, he isn’t worth the time. Nikki Parker should have realized that in the second season.

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  • rhea

    I’m sorry but this article is stupid. Why are we listing ways to realize “he’s not that into you”? It seems the real discussion is about how to stop being so punkified that you can’t or won’t tell someone that you’re not interested. Or let’s talk about how popular it has become to convince women to twist into pretzels to attract a man. Or we can talk about how women can base more of their body image on the health of their bodies, rather than the size of their bodies. Just about anything other than this dribble. I usually don’t leave such negative comments, no one likes a troll, but I’m really thrown off by the shallowness of this article. It seems like a wasted opportunity for good,useful discussion.

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    • Anonymous

      I think it’s clear the article was written in jest. Live a little. Every article doesn’t have to be thought-provoking or deep.

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    • Maureen

      this article is stupid. clearly their love/hate relationship was meant for comedy.

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