“Sparks Will Fly:” Would You Wait on a Cheater?

by Evette Dionne

j-cole-featuring-jhene-aiko-sparks-will-fly

Rap’s latest sensation, J.Cole, recently released his sophomore effort, “Born Sinner.” The 21-track album is a gem, full of authentic highlights of the impact of fame and fortune on the North Carolina-born MC. The last song on the record showcases the toll success had on his relationship with his long-time girlfriend.

J.Cole has been dating the same woman since his freshman year at St. John’s University in New York. He speaks publicly about their relationship and has said she’s adjusting well to the spotlight, but that hasn’t stopped the born sinner from succumbing to the groupie life that accompanies long nights on the road in strange cities.

“Sparks Will Fly” is an ode to the difficulties of balancing a healthy relationship with the temptations of success. He rhymes:

I know my style ain’t perfect/I know my smile ain’t perfect/Nigga ain’t perfect, it’s true/Funny though I am perfect for you/All the drama seem worth it for you/She put up with the shit like she work at the zoo, true/Now what you crying for?/She says you ain’t gon’ settle down, what you lyin’ for?/She want that old thing back/Things ain’t the same, think we both seen that/Love is war, end up on the floor/But baby you only lose when you don’t swing back/I say those word hoping that,/You fight for a nigga like I fight for you/Like I fight temptations every night for you/And know I slip, only girl in my life is you

It’s clear J.Cole is struggling against the temptation of cheating, if his lyrics are reflective of his life choices. Unfortunately, the reality is fame changes relationships. Kanye West and his college girlfriend split after he’d achieved his lifelong dreams. Big Sean slept on his girlfriend’s couch before he landed a record deal. He’s dating an actress now. Many other entertainers, politicians and public figures creep on their spouses.

The question to J.Cole’s girlfriend is whether it’s worth waiting on a cheater.

What say you Clutchettes and gents? Is it worth waiting on a cheater?

  • http://gravatar.com/geenababe geenababe

    This is a good question. Especially since som women might wait around but still get dropped anyway for a newer, brighter model.

  • Jasz

    Look, I ain’t about to sit around here supporting some fool while he follows his dreams and then get dumped when he finds some Kelly Rowland/Lucy Liu/Beyonce lookin’ chick. F that! I look up to Michelle Obama when it comes to relationships because although I don’t have all the details of her relationship with the President I know that she ain’t that type of chick. She had her career and was making her own money as a lawyer as Barack was coming up! Ok, I know I’m being presumptuous about these ladies relationships, but I feel that waiting on a rapper, basketball player, doctor, lawyer, preacher or teacher is something out of the 20th century. When is the last time you heard about a man waiting on a woman? Or about him helping her get her career off? Or the man providing support and taking her back after cheating? Here’s my philosophy: If a man ain’t willing to do it for me then ain’t no way in hell I’ll do it for him. People take this whole submission thing too far. I have dreams as big as Alaska, Texas, and California combined and I’ll be damned if I let a man who ain’t dedicated to me make me stop pursuing those dreams in order to fully support his.

  • dbsm

    It depends on what you are waiting for, doesn’t it?

    money
    love
    sex
    fame
    opportunity
    material things

    Or are you waiting for the cheater to change? If so, you’d be better off picking something on the aforementioned list.

  • Smilez_920

    It’s weird. J cole is young, and while that is no excuse to cheat, I can see the temptation of new Poons, that comes with fame and fortune.

    For some it simply comes down to how the man is treating them outside of the cheating. Is he providing for her (and possibly her family) is he sweat and loving. I mean he doesn’t have a ring on his finger. And you know how many ppl would call his girl stupid for leaving, especially if she’s been there during the broke years.

    Personally I couldn’t stay around while someone cheated on me, and hoping that once he settles down that he will stop and choose me once and for all. But to each it’s own. Four years is a lot of time and for some they don’t want their time to go to waste.

  • Miakoda

    If men viewed women as people instead of objects they probably wouldn’t feel tempted to cheat.

  • Ask_ME

    No to mention she’s putting her life at risk by willfully phucking a man who is determined to phuck everything female. I would have chuck the dueces a long time ago. No man is worth stress, STDs and nonsense.

  • Naps93!

    Never thought of it that way. Such a great comment.

  • Leo the Yardie Chick

    Wait on a cheater? Nope. Saw WAAAY too much of that b.s in my family, and the men in question weren’t any where near rich or famous*. Maybe our Grandma’s and even our mother’s generations were ok with saying “but he comes home to me” and even going as far as raise some of his outside children (yes, it happen(s/ed), pick your jaws up), but life already has its standard trials without tacking that soap opera drama on.

    No, thank you.

  • MLI

    PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Mixedgirl

    BEST COMMENT. Damn, truth to the 100th degree…

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    You have some grade A great points!!! I am always interested in the double standard when it comes to relationships and who gives more or puts up with more for the sake of a relationship/loving someone. Furthermore, I think the cheating thing is loaded with double standards, I know BOTH genders cheat but it seems that when men cheat it is something that is excused or told to women that it is something we have to put up with but more than likely when a woman cheats or “slips up” she is getting Scarlett Letter type dragging through the mud. Personally, I’ am not down with the “wait for me” thing life is too short and time waits for no one, so why should I? It is not like I’ am waiting for you to get back from war or recovering from an illness or medical procedure or actively changing the world but if you want me to wait for you to finish sowing your wild oats or to obtained material things FOR yourself then no. And as the post mentions, 9 times out of ten in these type of relationships where fame, money or power is something new or obtainable the dynamics of the relationship changes and these people don’t end up with the same people that was down for them from jump street when they was just the girl going to class, the guy hustling to make his dream come true, etc.

  • pe.riche.

    ^^^^^^Co-sign every last word!!!^^^^^^^

  • dirtychai

    Ditto.

  • Oh Please

    And what’s the excuse for women cheating?

    Just so you know, the concept of “temptation” has nothing to do with the character or views of the tempted. But please grace us with more of your idiotic marbles, Ms. Utterly Boring Man Hater — aka The Moon in the Sky.

  • Miakoda

    SMH/Oh Please

    –I am not sure what comment you are referring to, but in my comment above I do not see where I provided an excuse for why men cheat. I provided a simple theory. You seem to be reading into feelings that are not there.

    –Yes, I am ‘The Moon in the Sky’. I changed my name to Miakoda because it means ‘Power of the moon’. Anyway. None of that is relevant to my original comment.

    –For someone who thinks he is so smart, you sure do have a flair for being dramatic and condescending.

    – I have never seen you write a comment on this site that didn’t somehow degrade Black women, so before you start trying to call someone out, take a look at yourself.

    –Whatever typical insult you have ready to be spewed whether it be that I am a ‘man-hater’, fatherless, miserable, bitter, having psychosis or neurosis, you can forgo typing it.

  • Miakoda

    SMH/Oh Please

    –I am not sure what comment you are referring to, but in my comment above I do not see where I provided an excuse for why men cheat. I provided a simple theory. You seem to be reading into feelings that are not there.

    –Yes, I am ‘The Moon in the Sky’. I changed my name to Miakoda because it means ‘Power of the moon’. Anyway. None of that is relevant to my original comment.

    –For someone who thinks he is so smart, you sure do have a flair for being dramatic and condescending.

    – I have never seen you write a comment on this site that didn’t somehow degrade Black women, so before you start trying to call someone out, take a look at yourself.

    –Whatever typical insult you have ready to be spewed whether it be that I am a ‘man-hater’, fatherless, miserable, bitter, having psychosis or neurosis, you can forgo typing it.

    Post comment.

  • Miakoda

    Boop

  • http://nerdstradamas.wordpress.com nerdstradamas

    Great comment.

    Sticking around with a cheater is nothing more than playing Russian Roulette. You’re bound to be killed (figuratively) emotionally, mentally, or health wise (with the growing rate of STDs) sticking by a cheater. I can only imagine the toll it takes on you. Many (esp. fake relationship gurus) try to mitigate the seriousness of a man cheating.

    And of course there’s the classic double standard of a woman cheating being worse because she has cheated emotionally – while men’s escapades are supposedly only physical or sexual.

    My thing is, if “emotions” or “emotional cheating” out weighs cheating purely for sexual gratification, why does no one give an account for the EMOTIONAL DAMAGE/PAIN women face when their men cheat? I mean with all this importance placed on emotional monogamy(?) shouldn’t the emotional and mental strain a woman faces in dealing with an unfaithful mate be just as important?

    Those who give a defense as to why men cheat – yet admonish women for doing the same have the hidden agenda of protecting the male ego. Nothing more.

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