1. It is the responsibility of the Negro to reject any history of America that includes slavery. Reminding the Negro of slavery will cause him to resent all white people, even though slavery ended years ago. Slavery must not be regarded as American history, and must be retroactively deleted from history and removed from any curricula.

2. It is the responsibility of the Negro to stop saying “nigga”, “nigger” or any variation thereof. When Black people use the word nigger, they are responsible for its usage by white people. This is especially true for Black Hip Hop artists, that have given the word mainstream credibility. The Negro cannot complain about other races using this term if they insist upon using it themselves. If Black people stop, it will go away overnight.

3. It is the responsibility of the Negro to never acknowledge the existence of police brutality or racial profiling by law enforcement. The Negro must maintain the correct posture, articulation, appearance and professionalism as determined by whites, in order to avoid abuse and mistreatment by law enforcement. Law enforcement is only performing their assigned duties to keep the rest of us safe. There is no such thing as racial profiling.

4. It is the responsibility of the Negro to always dress in a respectable manner. The Negro must, at all times, dress professionally with impeccably pressed trousers and non-threatening white button down shirts. Ties are preferred. The Negro should try to avoid sneakers, sweats, baggy jeans, hoodies, or any other apparel that may constitute a thuggish, frightening appearance or suggest that he may be concealing a weapon or drugs. These types of clothing, however, are perfectly suitable for whites.

5. It is the responsibility of the Negro to discontinue the use of slang, “Ebonics,” African-American Vernacular English (AAVE) or any regional dialect/vocabulary that is not universally recognized and accepted by American whites. This language is confusing and frightening to white people, and they will not accept this language or respect the Negro if he speaks this way.

6. It is the responsibility of the Negro to uphold the tenets of equality by not supporting Black-only media or enterprises such as BET, The NAACP Image Awards, Essence and Ebony magazine, or any entertainment that directly targets and celebrates Black people or has the word “Black” in it. When the Negro creates his own entertainment and media spaces or participates in them, he is perpetuating the exclusion of white people and enforcing the kind of segregation he is so fond of bemoaning. At the same time, the Negro must not acknowledge any exclusion of Blacks from mainstream media and entertainment enterprises.

7. It is the responsibility of the Negro to maintain hairstyles that are acceptable to American whites. This means discontinuing hairstyles such as Afros, dreadlocks, braids, cornrows, Philly’s, multi-colored hair, and other styles that may directly or indirectly suggest any sort of regional trends or cultural pride. For tips on definitive, acceptable hairstyles, the Negro must consult the expertise of white people and go to great lengths to control the texture of their hair to the extent that it mirrors that of American whites.

8. It is the responsibility of the Negro to never purchase property in white neighborhoods. Black people can only ever be visitors, and may still be subjected to suspicion from white people. The Negro must understand and accept his position in America as a second class citizen and must politely cooperate when his presence is questioned by white people.

9. It is the responsibility of the Negro to name his child appropriately. Names like Ebony, Kenya, Keisha and especially names that are more than two syllables long are unprofessional and difficult to pronounce. Additionally, names like Ahmad, Khalil or Muhammed suggest collusion with terrorists. Names like Sarah, Madison, Amy and Scott are much more acceptable and will ensure that the Negro is able to find a job, but only if spelled correctly.

10. It is the responsibility of the Negro to always maintain a kind, deferential attitude, even when confronted with antagonistic and harassing behavior from American whites. Expressing any sort of discomfort towards a white person, or challenging his views is threatening and unacceptable. The Negro must avoid giving in to provocation by white people, because he may be turned over to law enforcement or lose his job.

11. It is the responsibility of the Negro to abstain from engagement in Black History Month. It is not necessary for the Negro to have the entire month of February to learn about the history of his ancestors or celebrate the historical accomplishments of people that look like him. This, however, may not be a guarantee that any history of African-Americans will be integrated into any teachings or historical accounts year-round, and the Negro must never challenge that.

12. It is the responsibility of the Negro to accept that depictions of Egyptians as fair-skinned is historically sound. It is unrealistic to believe that glamorous, regal and wealthy Egyptians possibly had dark skin, despite Egypt’s location in Africa.

13. It is the responsibility of the Negro to never seek solidarity with other people of color, including but not limited to Asians, Latinos, Arabs and Native Americans. These partnerships are a major threat to white people, and only serve to reinforce reverse-racism.

14. It is the responsibility of the Negro to not express any sort of pride. Terms like “Black Pride” and “Black Love” and “Black Is Beautiful” are threatening to whites, as well as exclusionary. Black Pride is just as dangerous and violent as white pride, and has historically made white Americans justifiably uncomfortable.

15. It is the responsibility of the Negro to acknowledge that racial slurs against white people, such as cracker, honkey, and white devil, perpetuate and reflect the historic disenfranchisement and oppression of white Americans. The power behind these words is very wounding to white people, and they are therefore unacceptable.

If the Negro wants to ensure the end of racism, he must follow these rules to the letter and it is guaranteed that racism will no longer exist. It is not necessary for American whites to make any changes or adjustments to their perception of race, culture or history, since matters of race do not affect them. The Negro must ensure that his behavior, dress, hair, and language meet the strict definitions of acceptability as defined by whites, and he must also be grateful that he is allowed to exist in this country with American whites. The Negro should graciously and quietly accept this as reality.*


nOva Slim is a Washington, D.C. based writer who occasionally writes about music and culture. 
Twitter: @070180

This post originally appeared on NovaSlim. Republished with permission. 

*pssttt this is satire.

  • Justin

    YES YES YES I agree 100%!! Just die already and that’s it, its all finished.

  • Keon Carter

    This is months old, I know, but I had to make this comment.

    The term “PoC” is a racialized term that is exclusive and promotes racism. Labeling someone as a “PoC” or a “whitewashed PoC”-both demeaning and prejudice-is assigning someone an identity without permission. If you choose to identify yourself with that exclusive term, fine, but be respectful of others that may not share it.

    Why did you automatically assume a connection to race involving a white object and a brown object? Do you limit your worldview by racializing anything and everything that represents the white and brown/black contrast? Do you assign colors a “race” only if the brown or darker shade object(s) are shown ‘negatively’? Or do you assign every color a “race”, thus judging subjects when they are applied in examples according to “race”?
    People like you are not shut down because you discuss or point out racism. You face scrutiny because you see “race” everywhere, whether appropriately or not, thus falsely assuming that everything around you is either racialized or racist. Most often people like you assume that everything around you is racist if only it puts anything ‘brown or black’ down. This is why people cease to listen when a person cries ‘racism’. Most often it is the person confusing their racialized perception of reality as true. So yes, you were being over sensitive.

    Before anything is assumed:

    I am black and I am a liberal. I am for equality for all skin colors and wish to erase racism with more uniting rather than dividing. That is why the term “PoC” is too problematic. It divides rather than unite and it presumes rather than consider individualism-in reference to the term “whitewashed”.

  • nahh_not I

    Racism wasnt ended for black people. The problem in tee his country is that black and white people are uneducated about whats actually happened and happening. Racism was ended to bring try he south back with the rest of the country. Slavery was killing the north.there was no jobs for white people because all the labor jobs were for the black people. The south said they weren’t letting their slaves go and if noone could afford their raw materials they would sell them across seas and separate from the north. The north wasnt having that so Lincoln set to end slavery. We’ve been lead to believe Lincoln cared for black people when he in fact owned slaves himself lol. Theres alot of bias in history wich fuels this bs even more. And idk why white people think black people want something from. Just because try he media tells you we do doesnt mean thats the case. R heres nothing a white person could give me that i couldnt get myself. I wish all people could just educate themselves properly and love each others cultural differences and except that not everyone wants to act like a stereotypical white american lol. We pick out each others flaws and exploit them as if we all dnt do the same shit.we just present them differently. Welfare and having a lot of kids isnt a black thing,theres plenty of white and mexicans who are the same way,worse even. Racism is so primitive in nature and is crazy to even feed into it. I live in a middle class white neighborhood and have been called a nigger atleast 4 times to my face and it bothered me and me angry but i didnt go ape shit at all like the media would make u think. I just smiled or laughed even just to not show a sign of being hurt or affected at all,i assure you it hurt later when i thought about how someone could hate me because of the color of my skin or the actions of others like me. I didnt start hating white people. I didnt look for any reason to do so. My neighbors constantly fuck with my familly and were not lousy neighbor’s. Were very clean,actually have one of the better yards on my street lol. And why do people think all black people care anything about al sharpton or jesse jackson? They dnt represent black people lol,were not ants we can think for ourselves.actually i dont like either of those men and most black people feel the say way i do. The truth is their are criminals,assholes,ignorance,RACIST, and etc. In every group of people. Lastly, ebonics? Lol why is it that because a lot of black people speak different its considered ignorant or watered down?when you have southern whites talking like they have their noses plugged and saying nobody understands just as much lol,same for any race.people talk different becuase of cultural differences,yet the only ones being picked on for it are blacks. Telling us to be more like whites even in little ways is insulting because theres nothing wrong with talking different or being different in any way. Try he only reason black people have a priblem today is because of the miseducation on everyside. The black image has been destroyed and ridiculed by senseless stereotypes. Even in a music loved internationaly has been exploited for profit and racist proof is what i like to call it. You see mainstream rappers for the past 15-20 yrs rapping about money,clothes and hoes lol forgetting all the fun or positive rap that has once been popular. These type of rap still exist but nobodies wants to see that from black people. Everybody wants to see the angry ganster black man obsessed with flashy things and too ignorant to care about anything else. Smh we all need to see past the bullshit and look for reasons to love and not hate.

More in Don Lemon, opinion, racism