1. It is the responsibility of the Negro to reject any history of America that includes slavery. Reminding the Negro of slavery will cause him to resent all white people, even though slavery ended years ago. Slavery must not be regarded as American history, and must be retroactively deleted from history and removed from any curricula.

2. It is the responsibility of the Negro to stop saying “nigga”, “nigger” or any variation thereof. When Black people use the word nigger, they are responsible for its usage by white people. This is especially true for Black Hip Hop artists, that have given the word mainstream credibility. The Negro cannot complain about other races using this term if they insist upon using it themselves. If Black people stop, it will go away overnight.

3. It is the responsibility of the Negro to never acknowledge the existence of police brutality or racial profiling by law enforcement. The Negro must maintain the correct posture, articulation, appearance and professionalism as determined by whites, in order to avoid abuse and mistreatment by law enforcement. Law enforcement is only performing their assigned duties to keep the rest of us safe. There is no such thing as racial profiling.

4. It is the responsibility of the Negro to always dress in a respectable manner. The Negro must, at all times, dress professionally with impeccably pressed trousers and non-threatening white button down shirts. Ties are preferred. The Negro should try to avoid sneakers, sweats, baggy jeans, hoodies, or any other apparel that may constitute a thuggish, frightening appearance or suggest that he may be concealing a weapon or drugs. These types of clothing, however, are perfectly suitable for whites.

5. It is the responsibility of the Negro to discontinue the use of slang, “Ebonics,” African-American Vernacular English (AAVE) or any regional dialect/vocabulary that is not universally recognized and accepted by American whites. This language is confusing and frightening to white people, and they will not accept this language or respect the Negro if he speaks this way.

6. It is the responsibility of the Negro to uphold the tenets of equality by not supporting Black-only media or enterprises such as BET, The NAACP Image Awards, Essence and Ebony magazine, or any entertainment that directly targets and celebrates Black people or has the word “Black” in it. When the Negro creates his own entertainment and media spaces or participates in them, he is perpetuating the exclusion of white people and enforcing the kind of segregation he is so fond of bemoaning. At the same time, the Negro must not acknowledge any exclusion of Blacks from mainstream media and entertainment enterprises.

7. It is the responsibility of the Negro to maintain hairstyles that are acceptable to American whites. This means discontinuing hairstyles such as Afros, dreadlocks, braids, cornrows, Philly’s, multi-colored hair, and other styles that may directly or indirectly suggest any sort of regional trends or cultural pride. For tips on definitive, acceptable hairstyles, the Negro must consult the expertise of white people and go to great lengths to control the texture of their hair to the extent that it mirrors that of American whites.

8. It is the responsibility of the Negro to never purchase property in white neighborhoods. Black people can only ever be visitors, and may still be subjected to suspicion from white people. The Negro must understand and accept his position in America as a second class citizen and must politely cooperate when his presence is questioned by white people.

9. It is the responsibility of the Negro to name his child appropriately. Names like Ebony, Kenya, Keisha and especially names that are more than two syllables long are unprofessional and difficult to pronounce. Additionally, names like Ahmad, Khalil or Muhammed suggest collusion with terrorists. Names like Sarah, Madison, Amy and Scott are much more acceptable and will ensure that the Negro is able to find a job, but only if spelled correctly.

10. It is the responsibility of the Negro to always maintain a kind, deferential attitude, even when confronted with antagonistic and harassing behavior from American whites. Expressing any sort of discomfort towards a white person, or challenging his views is threatening and unacceptable. The Negro must avoid giving in to provocation by white people, because he may be turned over to law enforcement or lose his job.

11. It is the responsibility of the Negro to abstain from engagement in Black History Month. It is not necessary for the Negro to have the entire month of February to learn about the history of his ancestors or celebrate the historical accomplishments of people that look like him. This, however, may not be a guarantee that any history of African-Americans will be integrated into any teachings or historical accounts year-round, and the Negro must never challenge that.

12. It is the responsibility of the Negro to accept that depictions of Egyptians as fair-skinned is historically sound. It is unrealistic to believe that glamorous, regal and wealthy Egyptians possibly had dark skin, despite Egypt’s location in Africa.

13. It is the responsibility of the Negro to never seek solidarity with other people of color, including but not limited to Asians, Latinos, Arabs and Native Americans. These partnerships are a major threat to white people, and only serve to reinforce reverse-racism.

14. It is the responsibility of the Negro to not express any sort of pride. Terms like “Black Pride” and “Black Love” and “Black Is Beautiful” are threatening to whites, as well as exclusionary. Black Pride is just as dangerous and violent as white pride, and has historically made white Americans justifiably uncomfortable.

15. It is the responsibility of the Negro to acknowledge that racial slurs against white people, such as cracker, honkey, and white devil, perpetuate and reflect the historic disenfranchisement and oppression of white Americans. The power behind these words is very wounding to white people, and they are therefore unacceptable.

If the Negro wants to ensure the end of racism, he must follow these rules to the letter and it is guaranteed that racism will no longer exist. It is not necessary for American whites to make any changes or adjustments to their perception of race, culture or history, since matters of race do not affect them. The Negro must ensure that his behavior, dress, hair, and language meet the strict definitions of acceptability as defined by whites, and he must also be grateful that he is allowed to exist in this country with American whites. The Negro should graciously and quietly accept this as reality.*


nOva Slim is a Washington, D.C. based writer who occasionally writes about music and culture. 
Twitter: @070180

This post originally appeared on NovaSlim. Republished with permission. 

*pssttt this is satire.

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  • Greg Campbell

    Hmmmm. You dont like to hear the truth so you resort to name calling. And you really wonder what the truth is behind race relation? Now also keep in mind Americans purchased Liberia in order for free slaves to return to. Some chose to purchase slaves themselves, the rest elected not to go back for fear of being recaptured by their own People; which of course still goes on today

  • R. Jerome Harris

    Depending on who you are and where you come from, your view of race relations in the United States – and in the world – will vary. Some of you may believe that it does not exist. Some will believe – and know – that it exists because they have experienced it first hand. Then there are those who believe that it does exist but is getting better.

    Regardless of what anyone believes, the bottom line is that SOMETHING is there.

    I believe all of the hype and discussion about racism is a clever distraction away from what the true problem that ails America; and it is this: White Supremacy and White Privilege. These are the diseases infect America. It is “skin-color” – not race – that allows one to have advantage and privilege over those who are the “wrong color.”

    Being born White in America automatically assigns privileges not given to people of color. Those privileges are not earned. The struggle Black people face in America is that we have to fight or work to receive the same privileges given to Whites automatically at birth. And, in spite our efforts, we are denied them. This is what frustrates and angers us; and rightfully so. (Now we see Asians not born in the USA receiving the same privileges as Whites. This is a slap in our faces).

    More importantly in my view we (Blacks) want to be integrated into a system that does not want us as equals. So we cultivate a love and appreciation of what is Anglo-American and cast off our African identities thinking that our White oppressors will accept us if we become more like them. That will NEVER happen because your skin remains black.

    Many Whites do not wish to deal or understand the Black struggle and could care less about it. Many of them would rather focus on getting Black people to become White people on the inside (Black Anglo-Saxons) and thus rendering them “safe” and “non-threatening” Negroes.

    Black people: We need to get in touch with our African roots and history. We need to stop relying on White historians – and so-called Black scholars trained in their institutions – to write our history. Once we know who we are, then we can mold our children from an African base rather than a European one. We then love what is African more than what is European. We MUST build education centers that is purely African in nature. They must not be infected with European history or African history as told by the European (and American) scholar.

    White people: While none of you are responsible for what your ancestors did to Black people in the past, you do have a responsibility. You have the responsibility to do all you can to assist to settling the matter. This involves not being in a state in denial that SOMETHING in your history did this.

    The first step in healing a wound is to diagnose the cause and then treat it.

    Sadly, much of White America does not want revelation of the cause and so no treatment is in sight.

  • Tyr

    Yea if you stopped acting like niggers then racism wouldn’t be a big deal. Every race hates niggers. They act like violent obnoxious animals. Only in America do you have this pathetic nigger worship from the brainwashed white guilt liberals. The English were the ones responsible anyways, not “whites”. Whatever the fuck that means. That’s another stupid thing that only happens in America. Like there’s some magical land of white.

    The only thing the world would miss if they disappeared would be some violence, theft and shitty music, which would be fine.

  • Tyr

    Go to Africa where your ape brethren have done a fine job of running your home land.