After the jury found George Zimmerman not guilty of murdering Trayvon Martin I felt ill.
Apparently, I looked ill too because my grandmother asked me if I was feeling all right. I wasn’t. As I flipped on her TV to try to make sense of the verdict, I realized I couldn’t stomach hearing about the case anymore.
After being a passionate follower (and participant) of the protests, the lead up to trial, and making sure I was up to date on what happened in the courtroom (complete with watching the live stream), I could no longer bring myself to listen to pundits drone on about why Zimmerman got off and what it means for America.
I know what it means. It means the status quo racked up another victory, while those of us who hopped things might turn out different this time (despite all evidence to the contrary), were crushed once again.
So I’ve been staying away from the news and floating along in my little self-made bubble of peace and blissful ignorance because this is the only thing that feels comfortable right now.
Disconnecting myself from the media is sort of tricky when it’s a part of my job, but my mental and emotional health is far more important than seeing what story I can write about to drum up some almighty page views.
So while most of my friends continue to hash out the particulars of the trial, watch CNN and Headline News for juror explanations about what went down, I’m staying away.
Because if I allow myself to get dragged to the 24/7 analysis and conversations I will begin to feel sad and pissed off and hopeless all over again. And that’s just not good for anyone.