Women We Hate Deserve Love Too

by Evette Dionne

Amber Rose & Wiz KhalifaLove is permeating the Thomaz household. Amber Rose married rapper Wiz Khalifa – real name Cameron Thomaz – in an intimate ceremony. The Pittsburgh, Penn. MC announced their nuptials through Twitter and his new bride echoed his sentiments in subsequent tweets. A formal wedding is forthcoming, but that didn’t stop the lovebirds from capturing their moment on Instagram and other social networking sites.

Some members of Black Twitter thought the announcement warranted snide remarks about Rose’s past relationships and flings with other prominent figures, including Kanye West and Reggie Bush.

Tweets ranged from “It’s a good year for hoes, @KimKardashian just delivered a child support check and @DaRealAmberRose just married an insurance policy” to the simple hashtag #KanyeHitItFirst.

The former-stripper-turned-rapper’s wife seems to be past the skeletons resting in her bed. But it’s clear the world isn’t prepared to accept that a woman we’ve collectively learned to hate has found genuine, authentic, unconditional love.

Rose has kissed some frogs and developed cultural warts as a result, but the blonde bombshell seems to have nabbed a true prince in Thomaz. The newlyweds welcomed their first son, Sebastian, in February and their mutual love and affection is enviable, if their Instagram photos and Twitter love notes can measure their happiness.

The public’s opinion of Rose has been shaped by the men she’s loved and bedded, despite the strides she’s made toward reviving her image and distancing herself from West and other men in her past. Though she’s famous for fame’s sake and rose to prominence while dating one of the most revered rappers, Rose deserves the spouse who loves her unconditionally. We all deserve that.

As Ebony.com’s news and lifestyle editor Jamilah Lemieux points out, most of the folks tossing rocks at Rose reside in glass houses full of nights they’d rather forget. She writes:

It is the women who have consistently come down the hardest on the Amber Roses of the world. I can’t believe how many ladies were straight up horrified by the recent engagement news. I really didn’t realize that we expected rappers to look for partners who live up to the Puritan values of womanhood: purity, piety, domesticity and submission. I really didn’t think that we’d look at Wiz Khalifa and say “this is a brother who needs to be with a young Coretta Scott King”. I really didn’t want to think that my sisters were so hung up on this notion of virgins and whores and no in-betweens that we’d look past the fact that these two folks seem to really freaking ​love​ each other and choose to get hung up over Amber’s past employment instead of saying “Look, a happy Black woman. That’s what’s up.”

The real getcha getcha is that the shade is not always thrown from women who’ve kept their feet planted on the ground, legs crossed and bras hooked. No ma’am. There are glass houses with some serious stone damage around this Amber Rose situation. Just because you never danced on a stripper pole does not make you Betty Shabazz. Many of us non-strippers could tell some stories that would make our mothers blush…and remember that they, too, have managed to amass some stories while on this planet. And just because you ​did​ dance on a stripper pole (or a rapper’s lap) doesn’t mean you are now disqualified for the Love Olympics and you should be forced to walk alone, in shame, for the rest of your days.

The shaming of Amber Rose for dating and falling in love and marrying when her past isn’t so stellar is simply a reflection of the lives many women lead. There is an attachment of marriageability with virtue that is not only impossible to attain, but also keeps women from expressing themselves sexually. Rose manages to exist outside of those boundaries, and women hate her for it.

But she’s found love in a culture that claims former exotic-dancers aren’t worthy. She’s stumbled on a man who accepts her past, even as we attempt to confine her to the seediness of Philadelphia strip clubs. Rose no longer claps her cakes for change and has moved past her ex-flame. Even the women we love to hate deserve what Rose has gotten. Love.

  • SAA

    I’m really sick of the word “shaming” being thrown around like it’s a bad thing. Some shame never hurt anybody and it might be prudent to keep ones scruples in check. On the topic at hand, I really question what the hell is wrong with people. How is Amber’s dating past anyone’s business? She’s with the man she loves, he loves her, they have a child together and a nice litle family. I don’t know her but I’m happy for her, it’s what I hope to have someday. Congrats Wiz and Amber!

  • Eva Wood

    How can anyone hate someone that they do not even know. It is totally ludicrous to speak evil about someone that you do not know personally and can only go by what you read in the media. STOP IT!

  • MimiLuvs

    I am prepare for the ‘thumbs down’ and the e-boos to come my way.
    IMO, I believe that the people who dislike Amber Rose do not like the woman because of her race. Point blank. I think a lot of them dislike Amber because his relationship (and his engagement) to Alexis (who happens to be black) and ended up with Amber.
    In other words, once homie ‘got on’, he dumped his woman for a white chick.
    I also believe that Amber is disliked because she (and her love life) further perpetuates that double standard of “sexually liberated, white woman=modern day woman. sexually liberated, black woman= nasty wh*re”. The same for Kim Kardashian.
    And by the way, what makes Amber/Kim a slattern anyway? If you ask me, every one of us ladies would be considered to be a ‘slattern’ in someone else’s eyes… Think about that.
    If Kim is considered a ‘slore’ because of her past mistakes and previous relationships, as well as Amber, then there is someone out there who would think of the same opinion about Alexis, just because she is a model.
    For me, I always find a smidgeon of joy whenever I hear that someone is either engaged/married/became parents, so hating on Amber’s marriage is stupid.

  • Cocochanel31

    How can anyone not like Amber Rose..we don’t even know her! She rarely talked in public with Kanye..so I couldn’t speculate on her personality then, and now when she talks it’s all about Wiz..I don’t see what’s not to like. Outside of Kanye West..who else that we know has she dated???

    I’m not mad at her..half of the women dating couldnt get a man to propose even if she paid them!

  • ChaCha

    I might be a little out of touch, but I don’t see what’s wrong with Amber Rose. Do people hate her and think less of her because she has dated well known men? I’ve heard people call her a whore. How does dating a few well known men make a woman a “whore”? Haven’t most women around her age (I’m guessing she’s between ages 28-32) averaged at the very least 2-5 men? Even if she used sleep with the whole “football team”, how does that make any woman worthy of hate? Some people need more to do with their time.

  • ChaCha

    Also, I think that some people hate it when women who they deem as less than themselves or a they see as a ho get’s more than they have. They hate seeing someone they look down on have any form of happiness (whether that be a husband/partner they love, and/or baby, money, etc.).

  • AJW

    Who is this “we ” Clutch?

  • Karyn

    I love Amber Rose. I can’t hate her since I don’t know a damn thing about her but the fact that she dated Kanye and was an exotic dancer. And I sure do love the strippers, best people I’ve ever met my life. *shrug*

  • GG

    This is true. Also, I notice for all the women who were told as little girls to be respectful, modest, and men don’t marry those type of girls. It really makes them mad cause they stayed following this perfect path only to not win anything.

  • Z

    Amber is mixed, but I get your point.

  • Ms. Vee

    Meh. To hate someone you don’t know personally and/or has no affect on your life is a sign of immaturity and insecurity. I’m not telling anyone to condone her past lifestyle but before you nail her to the cross at least give her props for not being some men’s baby mama. Birds of a feather flock together. Its not like she married a lawyer. She found love with someone compatible. Hell if Blac Chyna can find love i don’t see why Amber or Kim can’t.

  • EbonyLolita

    I personally don’t like the hypocrisy when it comes to how Black vs White Women are viewed sexually. However, IDGAF EVERYBODY, if they chose it, deserves to be with a love that accept ALL of them which includes the past, present & future. #BlackTwitter is NOT does not represent ALL Black ppl! Chile if you dug into most women’s sexual history & held it to the light, it ain’t all pretty. So who GAF Congrats to them & let’s move on.

  • GG

    It goes to show you that women should just follow their own path within reason and not listen to what people say you should be. I don’t look at Amber Rose/Wiz but Meagan Good and Lisa Raye who are with men in the Church that skip over those church girls who are constantly beat down to a pulp to stay a virgin, be modest, and etc. Only to be stepped over by sexy vixens it makes no sense. I see this with covered Muslim women as well.

  • MimiLuvs

    @Karyn,

    I’ve come to the realization that God knew what He was doing when He allowed certain people (that has certain professions) to come into my life.
    Sometimes, the ‘bad people’ aren’t as bad as one would think.

  • Miakoda

    I couldn’t care less about who any one of these people date. I’ve never understood how one could become so emotionally vested in someone else’s life who they don’t even know. It’s so strange how people become that obsessed with celebrities that they analyze their lives.

  • Shay

    I think people hate on her because of her looks too. Some people really dont like women who fit a certain standard of beauty. And then when you’re considered a slut, still pretty, AND a rich guy marries you. They hate it.

  • Hollywood

    Why are comments always delayed and appear in the wrong place?

  • Hollywood

    “If you ask me, every one of us ladies would be considered to be a ‘slattern’ in someone else’s eyes… Think about that.”

    Not true at all.

  • Shay

    And yes its true people think that if you’re considered a hoe you are supposed to be alone for the rest of your life and be unhappy. “cuz u know u cant turn a hoe into a housewife” :insert sarcasm:

  • http://gravatar.com/dginki Kim

    Congratulations to the couple and may they live a happy and blessed life, but since when was Amber Rose a Black woman? Some of you are killing me with this nonsense. It is getting to be ridiculous.

  • http://gravatar.com/dginki Kim

    Doesn’t make her a Black woman.

  • Hollywood

    Most people are very mindless in the sense that they never take time to think about why they do or do not like something or believe or do not believe something. I think people hate women like Kim Kardashian and Amber Rose simply because they are told that they are supposed to.

  • http://gravatar.com/dginki Kim

    You have to be talking about yourself. Those are the things that rumble around you head. Come on please! LOL!

  • Cocochanel31

    Here mom id Cape Verdean..she’s black

  • ….

    Amber says that she’s white

  • http://gravatar.com/geenababe geenababe

    I’m just going to mointor the comments on this post. I’m a regular on another blog and most of the women on there love Amber but dislike Kim which I don’t see how that is possible. You either love them both or dislike them both, they are the same in some ways. I can understand why some women don’t like women who rode to fame didn’t come from talent but from who they dated or were inovled with.

  • Karyn

    Agreed.

  • MimiLuvs

    @Cocochanel31
    But here’s the thing:
    I’ve listened to several radio interviews and I’ve watched several interviews that involved Amber Rose. Whenever the interviewer referred to her as being a ‘white woman’ or a ‘white girl’, Amber never ‘corrected’ them. She never said to any of them that she was bi-racial or mixed.
    Jeez-Louise, I’ve heard Nicole Ritchie refer to herself as being bi-racial or half-black more than I’ve heard Amber state the same thing.
    And that’s another thing:
    When she was dating Kanye, I’ve heard a significant amount of people say that Amber was half-black. It felt as if they didn’t want to believe that Kanye was capable of being one of those stero-typical, black celebrities that wants to date a white woman.
    And I’ve noticed the same thing with Kim Kardashian as well. They’ll throw out the “she’s Armenian!”
    and totally disregard the fact that her mom is from German and Scottish descent.

  • Yb

    She’s only a quarter black. We claiming quadroons now?

  • Tha Real

    It’s not like these women did what they could to distance themselves from their image of being loose. I mean Kim has built a whole brand from it. Before Amber became on her settle down tip she was all over the internet with her fingers down in her vagina. Month after month a new picture has surface of her being naked. These women are not judge for just for who they date but for other things.

  • Yb

    For some reason black Americans claim anyone standing in close proximity of black people as black.

  • http://gravatar.com/mstwixx mstwixx

    I don’t have any emotional investment in any celebrity. They don’t pay my bills nor do they have any f*cks to give about my life. They entertain me, that is all. However. I do like playing devil’s advocate. So with that said, aren’t these women the very type that need love the most? I mean look at all of the things they’ve done for attention/affection… just sayin. What ya’ll think?

    And, we do all deserve to find love. Every single one of us deserves that.

  • Tony

    @Yb

    They were black 200 years ago and all the way up until Obama “now they ain’t”? Some black women are some intent on kicking out light skin BLACK women. Newsflash, this attempt at relabeling former ancestors of slaves is still not going to get you a man. lol

  • GG

    -YB

    Basically accept anyone/anything but YOURSELVES!

  • MimiLuvs

    @Hollywood

    No… really think about it.
    Regardless of what you do (or who you do), there is going to be somebody out there who will think of you as being a non-virtuous woman.
    I know married couples who look down on other married couples because they have relations, when they are not trying to procreate.
    I know men (and a few women) who consider mini-skirt wearing women as being ‘wh*res’.
    I know people who believe only wh*res would seek men out as friends rather than other women.
    So, yes, in other people’s eyes, we all would be deem as being ‘sl*ts’, ‘wh*res’, strumpets, skally-wags, ratchets, booga-bears, skeezers, etc. because of our choices.
    And it’s their opinion.
    But the problem is when they believe that their opinions are universal facts.

  • Tony

    *correction

    SO intent

  • Tony

    Amber has said many times that she is BLACK. Why are some black women so intent on kicking out light skin BLACK women? This is not going to help you get a man. lol

  • maxineshawattyatlaw

    Post where Amber said she is black….I’ll wait. Btw, for the idiots amongst us Cape Verdean is NOT a race. It’s amazing how many people can’t distinguish between nationality and race.

  • Shay

    U must cry everytime u look in the mirror. Like i said, some women just cannot handle a good looking woman getting what she wants in life. If u dont know what its like to be judged based on your looks then you would say some dumb sh*t like what u said. You’re attackin me for just stating something that really happens in everyday life.

  • http://twitter.com/verityreign Verity Reign

    I happen to love Amber. When you consider her past in context, it all makes sense. The girl was homeless so she became a stripper. Who’s to say what they would or would not do in that situation? She comes across as a beautiful spirit so nothing else matters. All in all, happy for Amber and Wiz bc their relationship seems so sincere. Good for them!

  • Tony
  • maxineshawattyatlaw

    Finally someone who gets it. I don’t know why people are trying to label Amber something that Amber won’t even label herself. How can anyone re-label Amber non-black when according to her she’s never been black to begin with.

  • noirluv45

    This black American doesn’t.

  • maxineshawattyatlaw

    Exactly. These women are famous for stripping, being a video hoe, and having a sex tape and people are dumbfounded as to why all anyone ever talks about is their sexual past and dating histories. Had they invented the cure for cancer or done something worthwhile we’d be talking about that but they didn’t so……

  • maxineshawattyatlaw

    Exactly. These women are famous for stripping, being a video hoe, and having a sex tape and people are dumbfounded as to why all anyone ever talks about is their sexual past and dating histories. Had they invented the cure for cancer or done something worthwhile we’d be talking about that but they didn’t so……carryon

  • Orange Starr Happy Hunting

    I was just discussing the double, triple, and quadruple standards non black folk receive, the compassion, empathy and understanding even from black folks, that we ourselves don’t get or even give to others like ourselves in everyday real life situations SMH.

  • maxineshawattyatlaw

    Jesus Christ you just made my point. Like I said…I’ll wait.

  • Shay

    You’re probably one of the ones crying and throwing sh*t at the tv when u see goodlooking happy people

  • Please Excuse Me

    I agree…everybody deserves to be loved.

  • stopjudginyourfellowman

    Rahab was a prostitute in the Bible and yet Jesus was born inher bloodline. Also, Mary Magdelene in the Bible was a prostitute, and Jesus when he was resurrected revealed himself to her FIRST. So If God and Jesus do not judge why should we? Give people a change to change their ways CONGRATS TO AMBER and WIZ!

  • Orange Starr Happy Hunting

    I was just discussing the double, triple, and quadruple standards when it comes to non black folk, the levels of compassion, empathy and understanding extended to them even by black folks, that we don’t even extend to ourselves :-)

  • Tony

    You all need to stop lying on this woman about her ethnicity. lol Just stop… it’s sad.

  • noirluv45

    I think many invest their time and energy into these strangers because they are vicariously living their lives through them – celebrity idolatry. If we collectively harnessed all this energy into building our economy, black folks, we’d be running things. Instead, Amber Rose and her life (that we only know through what’s fed to us) is what’s important.

    JMO.

  • Shay

    And why does everyone keep calling her a hoe? She didnt get famous from a sex tape like Kim K she got famous because kanye west paid her off big money to keep quiet about their relationship. Do any of you know who all she’s been with? People will do and say anything to make themselves feel better about their own past. Cuz Lord knows 90% has one.

  • Yb

    So because I don’t follow the racist one drop rule I am not in a relationship? *looks for Tony’s logic* Funny how some men like Tony act as if a black women’s purpose in life is to find a man, even if his is a little to no value like Tony.

    She is a white women with 25 percent black ancestry. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Black men like you need to stop claiming non-black women as black to appear “down with the cause.” There nothing wrong with liking women outside your race but down come into our spaces and present them as black. That won’t fly over here boy. And occurrence that happened over 200 years ago don’t apply today. It 2013.

  • http://gravatar.com/solfresh solfresh

    I agree with Verity Reign. Amber is pretty smart with a good head on her shoulders. When she was with Kanye I just admired her body. It wasn’t until 2011 where I watched a video of her reaction to when Kanye apologized to her at his concert in Philly. She’s clearly healed and moved on from the situation. Once I heard her speak on that with poise and a beautiful spirit, I liked her. As well in another interview she addressed why she would never talk because she didn’t think she was a celebrity or needed to speak to the press, which I love. Not many celeb girlfriends think like that.

    As mentioned before I believe this is all stemming from women taking what men and society tells them to be to be viable candidates for a relationship. God forbid if a “whore” or “former whore” gets married before a good girl. *gasp* If anything Amber should be proof that no matter what one has done in the past you can 1) heal w/o bashing or being angry publicly or participating in public cries for help 2) find real love that everyone is entitled to not just “good girls”.

    It’s starting to get old when some Black women make it seem like we need to hurt forever, be scorned forever, or damaged goods forever. They spend so much time hurting and being negative, like it’s a way of life, they don’t know what good things feel like or look like. And putting yourself on a pedestal over a woman that you’ve deemed sub-par will get you nowhere in life.

  • cocochanel31

    Ohh okay. I never heard her discuss her race. I see that she tweeted that her mom is Cape Verdean ( West African) and her dad is Irish/German..so she is mixed imo. But how she chooses to see herself is on her I suppose.

    Kanye def kills me with his love of non-black women since he seems well versed in black history/culture/politics..and I cannot see AMber or Kim knowing anything about black history whatsoever – Kim moreso, but I digress..I guess if that’s who/what makes him happy…so be it!

  • http://gravatar.com/ceecollegegal CeeCee

    I tend to follow the beat of my own drum. I personally do not hate Amber Rose, and I see nothing wrong with her and Wiz’s relationship. The fact that this article is even on Clutch is rather questionable.

  • comment

    This!!!!!!! Ten thumbs up

  • LMO85

    Yes, they HATE it– *stated with my head cocked to the side and spoken in my Syleena Johnson dogging tha fukk out of Nicci Gilbert voice* LOL.

  • Apple Pie

    Cape Verdeans aren’t like other west africans, plus they are an island. They are heavily mixed with white blood and most, if not all, look white or mixed. Her father, on the other hand, is a full-blooded White Man! Amber roses’ real hair when it was long was straight. Just because she has a booty doesn’t mean she’s black. Blacks need to get out of this habit of claiming everybody, especially thoses who wouldn’t claim you. She has never opened her mouth to say that she is a black woman, so why should you?

  • C’mon Son

    Girl on girl crime ain’t nothing new. Bitter salty beans and resentment are powerful motivations in the “I live to hate” game but all it does is decrease your power. If people only knew better they wouldn’t even waste their breaths on not wishing another person well.

    Amber Rose deserves to be happy and thank heavens she doesn’t need to “negotiate” that with the self-righteous judgement police. In addition…life is a circle of karma…the more I block someone else’s happiness the more I block my own…makes more than enough sense to me.

    Congrats & Best wishes to the happy couple.

  • Lisss

    @GG
    And i think this is an issue with the way men are educated. They are always told that they need to have the “baddest chick”. So they will go for the 32-24-36 and step over the smart woman with the nice personality, because she doesnt have the required body.
    Believe it or not, not all modest women were browbeaten. Some chose to be that way. But they have to, in a manner of speaking, pay for their choices, because they live in a society where men dream of turning video vixen into wives.

  • http://gravatar.com/geenababe geenababe

    @Bereal

    I don’t think it’s jealousy, I think that word gets overused a lot. I don’t see the correclation between Beyonce and women like Amber Rose or KIm. However, people may not like Beyonce (for many reasons) but I believe most respect her more than someone who just rode the wave on fame on someone back who had the actually talent. This women could have easily fade to the background.

  • Wow

    I actually like Amber Rose, she has her own style and seems to just do her. I’d prefer her to the NeNe’s and Tami Roman’s of the world that are running around with ready to argue and fight, and back bite at the drop of a dime. She seems pretty laid back and it would appear that she found her equal in Wiz (strippers and rappers go together like a hand and glove , what’s so shocking that they ended up together). I also have no problems with Kim Kardashian, she seems like many other women I know, desperate for male attention of any sort, but she doesn’t come off as a mean girl or deliberately hateful like some of these other reality stars. Yes, she’s a fame and money whore and her butt is fake but she’s not the only one out here like that. What’s the point in getting mad at her because men like Kanye overlooked her past indiscretions yet we know would never do that for a sister. But how is that her fault?

  • AJ

    I actually like Amber Rose…

  • GG

    I like your message; I really do.. It’s really not the same though. Black girls that are “good girls” are still are seen as bad/whores. While a white girl can be those things and still be seen as a precious white angel lol. But overall move on to happiness!

  • Tony

    Your hate and all the hating by other insecure lonely black women ain’t about me and Amber Rose nor black men and light skin Black women.

  • GG

    I agree. That;s why women need to set their own standards or preach the same things they tell women to men that’s the major problem. I see trendy christian/muslim guys and traditional looking christian/muslim girls how does that balance?

  • LMO85

    @Liss and @ GG–Definitely agree with you both here.

  • Anthony

    When peoplechoose to live in the public eye, they can expect that opinions will be formed about them. Personally, I think Amber Rose has not bedded an inordinate number men for women living in this era. If she had, it still not something for me to care about.

    I think the best term for Cape Verdeans is Cape Verdean or African. From what I know, Cape Verdeans tend to be very proud to be part Portuguese as opposed to being seen as “simply” black. In Amber’s case, she is half Italian and Cape Verdean.

    Given her background, I don’t think she would be looking at black men who weren’t wealthy or famous. By no means am I dogging all women who look like her, but there is no point in pretending that looking at economics has notfigured into her choices.

  • Tony

    @BeReal

    Any black man who lets bitter, insecure, lonely black women shame him is a fool. lol

    Newsflash, there are hundreds of thousands maybe millions of black girls walking around in the hood who look just like Amber and they are accepted as black. Just as they have for the last 400 years in this country. What’s the problem? Did one of them take a guy you wanted? ….Bingo!!!

  • gmarie

    Truth be told the average (unquestionably) black woman would be held to a standard three times higher than these women in terms of sexuality, and sexual history. Black women are not allowed to have ownership of our sexuality without shame and harassment. We are told how we should be and what we are allowed to like. Then we are told the consequences if we do not fall in line ( will never be “wifed”, treated like garbage).
    So yeah…I can understand why some are upset to see non black and racially ambiguous women with questionable pasts get scooped up and given the royal treatment.
    It is what it is. I do think Wiz and Amber were made for each other and it’s about time they made it official.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kelley.johnson.75436 Kelley Johnson

    I find the one drop rule racist and don’t think it’s up to white folks to define what blackness is. Amber is not a light skinned black woman. She has black blood in her, but that doesn’t make her black, imo. When anyone can be black, it cripples your race. White people understand this. That’s why you can’t be white just because you may have white blood in you. Black people want to claim Amber is black, yet we wonder why so many of us loathe dark skin. Before we even start to heal our “dark girls”, we need to stop claiming folks like Amber Rose as “black”. She’s not.

  • http://gravatar.com/solfresh solfresh

    I would need a specific example or to me it’s just a generalization. Look at Miley and Amanda. I see no one calling Amanda Bynes an angel. Just the other day I peeped E! News or ETV doing a segment on how Miley is no longer that “Disney girl”, which to me equates to she’s no longer an angel. At Disney they want you to be innocent, and a virgin. Many white celebs such as Brittney, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato etc have caught flack for no longer being Disney worthy when in fact it was just them growing up. I believe it was Miley who did a Vogue (don’t quote me) spread nude and she was judged by the very audience who wanted to keep her at age 12. So I can’t agree with you there. My perspective has nothing to do with race.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kelley.johnson.75436 Kelley Johnson

    I agree. Amber Rose more “whorish” than some of our favorite black female celebrities. People are just mad this “whore” landed a black man with money.

  • GG

    Miley Cyrus, Amanda Bynes and Britney Spears add the crack head Lindsay Lohan are all still protected by white folks it is not the same. They look at it as them doing bad things not being bad people. Some associate those behaviors with being black (Miley and Amanda).We can agree to disagree.

  • Mae

    Thank you so much for clearing up that’s she’s not white!
    She’s Cape Verde (a country of small islands off the coast of Senegal) and the people are made up of a mixture of several different races but are mostly African.

  • Z

    Soon Kim Kardashian will be considered black. I’ve already seen some people try to make that argument…Armenian isn’t really European yada yada.

    Black people need to be more conscious about who we define as black and who represents us. As someone else on this thread said you don’t see white people claiming anyone with an ounce of white blood as white. If that were the case I’d be considered a European Spaniard by way of my grandfather.

  • Tag that heaux

    What have you invented? Are you a virgin? Do enough men find you attractive? If they do, have you never engaged in premarital sex? If you have, are you mad because you’re neither photogenic nor interesting enough to monetize your escapades?

    *closes piano* Time to go!!!

  • Anthony

    What’s your point, BeReal? I already said that I am not knocking all fair women. For what is worth, I dated two women her color. I certainly think there is nothing with finding her attractive. I just thinkthat given what I know of Cape Verdean history and culture, a black American would not likely be her first choice unless he is well off.

  • Hollywood

    Why do you all refer to a nearly 30-year-old woman as a ‘girl’?

  • Nubiahbella

    What to the person who said Most Cape Verdean look white LMAO. Are some folks been travelling??? For Information there are actually west african countries more mixed than the cape verde yet people never claim they are less African, I wonder why ???
    Amber Rose looks White because she’s 75% white duh ( her dad is Italian and her mum is mixed race) although sometimes genetics don’t necessarily means you will have a certain look, in this case it does explain it.

  • Hollywood

    I did think about it and I still don’t agree, because for some of us, the intimate details of our lives are not known to others.
    There is a thing called indifference.

  • Yb

    The point is that white ancestry is over 50% it makes up the majority if her makeup.

    Black Americans on average are 85% black 15% white. It’s ridiculous to compare the ethnic makeup of the average AA to that of Rose.

    Her parents:
    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oINJWwtHvEA/TWVjiCO5BOI/AAAAAAAAAGc/3OqEB9nQSO0/s1600/1298298448amber_rose_parents.jpg

    http://cdn.necolebitchie.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Amber-Rose-and-her-mother.jpg

    I have no clue why you and Tony, two black men, are so adamant about claiming a white mans child.

  • Lisss

    @GG
    Im not trying to be argumentative but i really dont know what you mean by “traditional looking christian girls”? As far as Islam goes, that not my faith, so i won’t speak on something of which i know so little.
    And yes i totally agree with you as far as telling the same thing to men. I really do believe it starts in the home. Some things as simple as mother/sister CONSTANTLY dieting,CONSTANTLY complaining about their looks or the father never complimenting his wife or daughter(s) can teach the young man that when it comes to women, its all about the exterior. This coupled with the videos, magazines and billboard provide a recipe for complete disaster!
    There is this blogger called Kayla Howard and she is always warning her readers to be careful of how we talk about ourselves in front of children (whether yours or others’) because they absorb it and view themselves as well as others through what they have heard. And i believe that is exactly what happened to most men.

  • MommieDearest

    Congrats! I’m happy for them and wish them well.

  • http://gravatar.com/hsm36 Whatever

    “I can’t hate her since I don’t know a damn thing about her”

    You also can’t “love” her based on the same logic…

  • http://gravatar.com/hsm36 Whatever

    You started from the bottom, now you here… so what’s the problem? You got the man/money/fame/reality show so just roll your eyes at the critics and keep it moving.

    Everyone saying “how can you hate someone you’ve never met?… etc” Please stop it right now. There are plenty of celebrities and public figures that tons of people can’t stand. Write an article on here about Terence Howard, Taye Diggs, Kim K etc… and see how fast the comments come in using the word “hate” or “I can’t stand” “gets on my nerves” etc

    No one in the public eye is above criticism. If you live your life publicly and ESPECIALLY if you are famous for no other reason than being an ex-stripper or vixen that dates rappers and athletes (Kim K, Draya, Amber, Evelyn, etc.) You will be criticized harshly. Not because women are “jealous” or “hating” but because you come across as an attention whore desperately looking for a man with money and some quick fame OR because you now have a new found celebrity buzz including a reality show because of a man (men) with money that you once dated publicly. The end.

  • Yb

    @SMH

    All the bullshit, projections, claims of insecurity you wrote with those wasted keys strokes did not refute a damn thing I said.

    At the end of the day I was able to offer evidence and support that this woman is not black while you replied with inquires of MY heritage and false accusations. I’m done at the end of the day the fact still remains that Amber Rose is not a black woman. Not even half.

  • Anthony

    My point is that there are those who would be wary of her because she is both multi racial, and because she is specifically largely Cape Verdean in origin. That does seem contradictory, but it just shows how messy “racial” identity can be.

  • Jamila

    I’ve actually always liked Amber Rose. I once read a quote from an interview where she was talking about the types of conversations that she and her girlfriends used to have back in the day. Whereas her friend was like “I just wanna get me a baller and have a baby,” Rose said she wanted a career and to be able to hold her own. So yeah, Rose may have been a stripper but she apparently was no idiot. She could have had an “oops” pregnancy to trap Kanye, but she didn’t. Rose could have “accidently” gotten pregnant by several ballers just to get a support check–but she didn’t. The girl took what she had and made it work for her.

  • Yb

    @Franklin

    The fact that you allow racist oppressors to define your race speaks volumes toward your pride in your race. This is why people claim Black Americans have no identity nor culture.

    Do not confuse light skin black with white women who are 25% black. We are not the same. For some reason the minds of your and other posters are to remedial to understand that someone who is a quarter black should not be refered to as black. Stop letting the ideology of rapists, colonists, genocidal racists from centuries ago define your race.

  • http://www.sarahdjarnie.com sarah

    At Kelley….

    Her mother is if from Cape Verde which makes her 1/2 AFRICAN!!!! you people are ridiculous and really uneducated…

  • Apple Pie

    @nubiahbella

    Yes, most Cape Verdeans look White or mixed. You have to have been to the actual country to know what I am speaking about. Googleing “Cape Verdean People” will not give you an accurate understanding. There are many Cape Verdeans that will cut your throat (figuratively) if you dare refer to them as “Black”. And yes, there are many countries in Africa, generally speaking, that look and are more “mixed” than Cape Verde. I do not refer to those countries as Black neither (ex. Tunisians, Algerians). However, I’m speaking of in terms of whiteness, though.

    You said that there “are actually west african countries more mixed than the cape verde.” Which countries in “West Africa” are you referring to that are “more” mixed than Cape Verde, especially in terms of European blood and ancestry? Remember the key word is “MORE” and I’m speaking of European blood here. I can only think of Mauritania that comes even close, but they are mainly Tuareg and Berber. The ones who are mixed with Toureg and Arabs don’t count because I am not speaking about that. Please read my comment carefully before you respond. And don’t think this is your opportunity to “school” me on Africa…

  • Yb

    What does jazz music, deadbeats, and welfare have to do with this article referring to Ms. Rose as a black woman? You’re grasping for straws Franklin arguing every point except the main one I made.

    “What blacks lack is pride in our identity and culture.”

    Your damn right about this though and what’s sad it’s that black people are claiming other people and cultures to make up for their lack of pride in their identity and culture, the same thing you’re doing by claiming people who aren’t black. So by your own admission Franklin you basically saying you have no pride in your culture or identity.

  • maxineshawattyatlaw

    She’s the one who has “claimed” black through her words and actions.

    Here’s the problem: Amber never actually did this and neither you nor Tony have been able to post proof that she did. She aint black. Case closed.

  • Apple Pie

    @ Mae

    Of course Cape Verde is mostly “African”; they are apart of the African continent. But remember, a white person born in Africa can call themselves “African” as well. Being African does not necessarily equate to being Black.

  • maxineshawattyatlaw

    What part of this is how they got famous did you not understand? If you have a problem with people talking about Amber’s oversexualized image/dating history/or prior work experience as a stripper and video hoe then you should tell Amber to find another come up. As for the rest of what you wrote, you can miss me with all that. First, the term “hating” is completely overused and has become meaningless at this point. Second, you know absolutely nothing about my accomplishments, my love life, my sexual proclivities, or my life in general. On the other hand, the whole world knows about Amber’s sexual tendencies including her penchant for taking photos of her uterus. Perhaps, you identify with/engage in this kind of behavior and that is why it offends you when others criticize/judge it. To that, I say tough. People’s actions get judged.

  • Apple Pie

    @sarah

    She is not 1/2 anything. Cape Verdean people are not full-flege Blacks as most African countries are. They are mixed with more European than black blood. Being African does not equate to being “Black”. There are white and Arab Africans as well. And let’s not forget that her father is a White man. She is more of a White woman than she is a Black woman. I don’t know what they are teaching you in school.

  • maxineshawattyatlaw

    Thanks for making my point, Tony.

  • Kellogg Liberbaum

    I just wanted to say…you have a beautiful face. That is all =)

  • Ads

    Exactly, there’s plenty of people i love to hate (all the men on love n hip hop atl; all the women on rhoc, rhonj). There’s nothing about her i love to hate – she’s got a banging bod…. Congrats

  • Ads

    I think the problem is that women allow women to be defined as whores. Why? What do i gain by having another woman degraded for using her body and her emotions as she sees fit? Even if im a ‘good girl’, do i win a prize becuz someone else is voted a ho? If being chaste makes u happy, be chaste. If banging everyone u can works for u, use protection and keep it honest/transparent. Women aren’t oppressed by the ho’s of this world. Were oppressed by a system that lets men believe they own the rights to our bodies, be it as good girls or hos.

  • Ads

    All this talk about miley and lindsay? Seriously!? This is why u allow men to define u as good girl/ ho? Tell me about a barbara lee, a hillary clinton, a condi rice….? Do you care who they bang? Know you care what they do that matters to the world. My vagina is my business, no one else’s , and no one’s vag is anyone’s biz but their own.

  • Hollywood

    “I think the problem is that women allow women to be defined as whores.”

    That would be the system of patriarchy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kelley.johnson.75436 Kelley Johnson

    Black men love to claim the white man’s child because they hate the black womb they came from. And black women go right along with this nonsense, not even realizing they’re erasing themselves from their own community. And then everyone wants to get mad and start complaining because dark skinned black women are not even seen as the epitome of beauty in their own race. We do it to ourselves.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kelley.johnson.75436 Kelley Johnson

    It’s truly pathetic.

  • http://gravatar.com/tashman2012 TT

    Not being a virgin does not equate to being a ho.

  • maxineshawattyatlaw

    Franklin, let me explain how this works, YOU asserted that Amber identified as black. Therefore, it is YOUR responsibility to post proof of your assertion. The only thing you’ve managed to post proof of is that Amber considers herself a mixture if things and that her mother’s NATIONALITY not RACE is Cape Verdean. In other words, you’ve failed to prove your point. Like I told Tony…I’ll wait. I won’t hold my breath though.

  • Rochelle

    You goin hard for this…… You must be a hoe and participated in a threesome, orgy, or two. LOL. Carry on.

  • Rochelle

    I’m a black woman and Amber looks black to me. I was surprised that she had a fully white parent. She looks like a light skinned black to me. “shrugs” She probably tans really well.

  • Kim

    Amber Rose is black?

  • Rochelle

    I am a black woman and Amber looks black to me. I am actually surprised to learn she has a fully white parent. She looks like a light skinned black woman to me. I guess she tans really well. I hate to bring up skin color, but I don’t think she is that attractive. I also don’t think she would be getting all this attention if she was a bald dark skinned “obviously” black woman, from rich or famous men.

  • IJusWannaSay…

    Yep, sure, why not?

    Everybody claims black when it’s convenient.

  • lhoskins

    “woman we’ve collectively learned to hate.” who? I do not hate strangers who’ve done nothing to me. that excerpt from Jamilah Lemieux hit the nail on the head.

  • Yep

    Yes Amber Rose is black. Her mother is Cape Verdean. Her father is Italian. So I guess she’s biracial? Anyways look at older pix of Amber, she has AA hair.

  • Wong Chia Chi

    Who cares?

  • cabugs

    Absolutely. Sometimes I don’t understand why we criticize, or “hate” these women. It really is not their fault that these men bend over backwards due to physical features they do not control. It’s the men we should be side-eyeing. But in the end, we really should let these things go. Find where you are accepted and love and grow your own beautiful community there instead of begging a the doors of men who reject you. It’s just sad all around. But things have to change. And it starts with us. Leave these people to their own loves and lives.

  • Pat

    Not until reading this article, I didn’t know anything about Amber Rose. Judging by their pictures, I always thought they were a couple who found true love. With saying that, Congratulations on their wedding and I’m wishing them a lifetime of happiness and joy.

    And I really loved this article. Regardless of someone’s past, I agree everybody deserves true love.

  • http://gravatar.com/geenababe geenababe

    @ Whatever

    I agree with your whole comment

  • http://twitter.com/verityreign Verity Reign

    I think it’s just a term people say to casually refer to a female in general. My mom who’s 55 is one of my BFFs and when she calls, I pick up the phone like, “Hey girl!” Lol. It’s not intended to disrespect or anything.

  • Joan

    I had no idea people hated this woman. Before this post, I thought of her at the weird, but gorgeous bald-headed chic that Kanye used to date. I didn’t know she was a stripper at one time. I can understand people not admiring her because of her choices, but hate seems like such as strong word.

  • http://gravatar.com/famous99 famous99Tam

    Please the first interview she ever gave she said .. I quote ” I like to eat Pu$$y”… how you come to the public is how they will view you.

  • queenb727

    How is whether you wear a miniskirt a detail of your life that’s kept secret. And you’re not the only one who knows the details of your life. Hypothetical time: Some people think anyone who has premarital sex is a whore. How are you* going to stop a hateful or boastful ex from spilling that you’ve had sex? Stop doubling down on this.

    Also, indifference? I don’t think that means what you think it means.

    *the universal you.

  • LMO85

    “And i believe that is exactly what happened to most men.” I agree. I cringe and gripe every time a friend of mine complains about her near perfectly fit body in front of her young son. She doesn’t get that she is creating a monster as far as his views towards women, and gets amazed about the things he says out of his mouth.

  • Tina

    Are people really looking at Amber as a white woman? I thought she was black.

  • http://airindanyell.tumblr.com Erin

    Who hates Amber? I actually like she and Wiz together. She looked completely miserable with Kanye, she even said it herself that she couldn’t be herself with him. When I see Amber and Wiz I see an obviously loving couple. Congratulations to them on their nuptials!

  • Pingback: Why Are You Hating on Love? |

  • Andsoitbegins

    It’s interesting, but not surprising to see how quickly her skin color and racial makeup was brought into this discussion. I often hear a lot of “real” Black women who have been appointed to decide who is really Black or not and don’t want some woman claiming to be Black when she is not (according to them). Funny thing is I never hear these same women denounce the hair of women from Peru or India as not being Black enough, in fact they proudly wear that non Black hair on their own heads and want someone to believe that it is their own, you know that of a “real” Black woman. It’s like Peruvian and Indian hair is “Black enough” to pass off as a Black woman’s own, but women who yeah might only be a quarter or half Black, can not or will not be claimed as one of their own. Now that I think about it, maybe people are right and it is indeed ridiculous for women like Amber Rose to try and be considered as being Black but it is also ridiculous for so many Black women to try and pass all of that foreign hair off as being their own Black hair. “I’m a “real” Black woman but this hair you see on my head is 100% Peruvian” yeah ok.

  • Nubiahbella

    @ Apple Pie, obviously the pictures you googled ARE not representative of Most Cape Verdean. Once again Most of them do NOT look white AT ALL. Would you say people from Jamaica look mostly white because they have mixed ancestry ( heck most black Brazilian do not look white at all, it’s like saying all Latinos look white). There are White Portuguese who settle in Cape Verde many decades ago.or Italian more recently. The media use them and Mixed people often to portray Cape Verde to make white people go there. Being From Senegal which is in front of Cape Verde, I go to there VERY often, you should know Cape Verde is made of little islands some being very white or heavily mixed ( they are also the people who have the more money and most of the jobs, do you notice a pattern here) other islands ( most of them) are heavily Senegalese /Guinean/ Angolan. You said Cape Verdean don’t being called African, maybe the ones outside Africa or some here and there but most of them self-identify as African and speak some African Languages in addition of Portuguese creole. Finally Angola mirror more with Brazil than Cape Verde does..

  • foodlifefitnessart

    She made a great Barbie Doll for Kanye, but she looks 1000xs happier with Wiz. I wish them the best – marriage ain’t no crystal stair

  • simplyme

    For being one of her ilk (the famous for no reason.. dated several famous men type), I actually like her. From what I’ve read and the one interview I’ve seen of her she seems like a pretty genuine person who has found love after some troubling relationships.

    I think we can partially blame the media for brainwashing some women and men into believing that for a women to get married she has to be basically perfect. Its the flip side of the same exact coin that tells women that if they aren’t married there has to be something wrong with them… too many past partners etc. When in reality if you did a study comparing married women to single women you’d probably find that there likely isn’t much of any difference in their past behaviors. Just that some have found their life partner and some haven’t.

    No one “deserves” to never be married because of their past. In the same light no one “deserves” to be married because he or she thinks they did everything right. Thats what creates bitter entitled people. I think this goes for men too tbh…whereas for guys I’ve noticed its “I have a nice job and make money, I deserve to have a nice woman. Why doesn’t she want to be with me?” Marriage is great, but I don’t view is as an achievement people can work up to.

  • http://gravatar.com/ebony82 ebony82

    Congrats, Amber, on you and Wiz’s nuptials. Now, about that college degree…

  • http://gravatar.com/ebony82 ebony82

    I know! Women are acting as if Wiz marrying Amber takes them out of “the game”… as if they were IN the game in the first place. Stop being jealous of someone else’s relationship and get your own!

  • http://gravatar.com/ebony82 ebony82

    Why are people making such a big deal about Amber’s ethnicity, going off on tangents from the article? Did anyone bet large sums of money or something?! While people with no time on their hands debate her ethnicity, she’s living it up in a mansion with money, and she’s not going to share. Move ON!

  • Sanura Rose

    Pretty sure they never condoned their sin either (I can’t speak of Rahab because I don’t know much about her but I’m sure Mary Magdalene did not remain a prostitute left her old life, repented and was forgiven by Jesus). And God does judge. There are several passages in the Bible that refer to him as a judge (Prov 21:1-13, 2 Peter 2:9, James 4:12, Isaiah 33:22).

  • aDORKable

    I really don’t get how people can hate someone they’ve never met or know personally. To me, that is one of the most childish and immature things anyone can do. Why bash someone that I don’t know, much less have met because of their supposed past? If you want to throw a stone make sure you can’t have a bigger one chucked at you. It bothers me that some people expect certain things from celebrities as if they have a say in their lives and future; that their very opinions will change a celebrity’s mind and make them do what they want. Who am I to judge Amber Rose or Kim Kardashian? I don’t know what went on behind the cameras or closed doors and it’s not my business and why should it be. I didn’t watch the Kardashian sex tape, because I didn’t care. I could care less that Amber Rose used to be a stripper. A stripper is not the best job in the world, but if you choose that job to pay your bills, keep yourself and your family fed and a roof over your head, who am I to judge? I don’t judge people unless they give me a reason to. I could care less what one has done or did as long as it doesn’t endanger my life and those that I care about. We all have done things we are not proud of so who are we to judge someone else who does as well and has accepted what they’ve done and have moved on. I think a lot of it stems from jealousy and some people’s needs to bring people down so they can feel better about themselves and their situations..

  • http://gravatar.com/mstwixx mstwixx

    Thank you :)

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