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After the hashtag #BlackPowerIsForBlackMen ripped the band-aid off of the complex (and sometimes contentious) relationship between Black men and women, many wondered what brothas thought about our experiences of feeling abandoned when we need their support.

While some thought #BlackPowerIsForBlackMen was an overreaction and divisive, we were once again reminded that it is sadly the truth. When Russell Simmons’ All Def Digital released the now-pulled “Harriet Tubman Sex Tape,” Black women were rightly outraged, while Simmons chalked up the criticism to hypersensitivity and his “liberal” sense of humor. Simmons–who was outspoken during the Trayvon Martin protests and even called Don Lemon out for his comments about young, Black men—pretty much told us “my bad” for degrading one of the most iconic and revered Black women in history.

In the wake of all of this, Mark Anthony Neal and a group of Black men took it upon themselves to not only apologize for the lack of support from their brethren, but also offer a commitment to be active and outspoken allies for Black women.

In #BlackPowerIsForBlackMen: Letters from Brothers Writing to Live, Duke professor Mark Anthony Neal; writer and Vassar College professor Kiese Laymon; cultural critic and writer Mychal Denzel Smith; PhD candidate and filmmaker Kai M. Green; community advocate Marlon Peterson; writer Hashim Pipkin; LGBTQ advocate and former NFL player Wade Davis, II; and writer and activist Darnell L. Moore pinned responses (and apologies) to some of the women who articulated their concerns in the #BlackPowerIsForBlackMen debate.

Speaking for the collective, Mychal Denzel Smith writes:

When the hashtag #Blackpowerisforblackmen, created by Ebony.com editor Jamilah Lemeiux, took over Twitter, it was a clear sign that we haven’t been doing enough. Thousands of our sisters (and brothers) tweeted for hours about the imbalance in our community. We, black men, tend to pride ourselves on our anti-white racial supremacy activism but often fail to reach out and consider the pain and trauma faced by the women in our lives. Our culture actively denigrates the very existence of black women. We take their love, support, nourishment, and spiritual presence for granted. As a whole, black men have not reciprocated our love and support in a way that affirms the humanity and dignity of black womanhood in the face of white supremacy, patriarchy, heterosexism, homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, sexual violence, physical and verbal abuse.

#Blackpowerisforblackmen became the call, and as black men dedicated to fighting alongside our sisters, we have taken up the responsibility of answering. As individuals, we recognize where we have fallen short, and as a community we make a promise to participate in deep self-reflection and correction.

This ain’t just an apology; it’s a commitment.

One of the most poignant responses was prompted by Yolo Akili Robinson’s tweet, “#BlackPowerisForBlackMen Becuz I can’t think of ONE national march that black men organized becuz a black woman was raped or killed.”

Kiese Laymon, author of the critically acclaimed new novel Long Division, did his best to respond:

I must have reread your tweet a hundred times today. I understood fully, maybe for the first time, that black men who profess a love for black women can’t have it both ways. The truth is too true and the stakes are too high. We can’t, as I did, call Kendrick’s verse one of the dopest lyrical performances of the year when the song is bubbling with spectacular disses of black women and black femininity, then wonder why we never organized around the killing or rape of a black woman.

We can’t watch and participate in the national obliteration and shaming of Rachel Jeantel and wonder why we never organized around the killing or rape of a black woman. We can’t lie, cheat on, or manipulate black women while convincing black women it’s so hard for us then wonder why we never organized around the killing or rape of a black woman. We can’t literally and figuratively kill and rape black woman for fun, for free, for checks, for claps from our niggas, and wonder why we never organize around the killing or rape of black woman.

No art, no person, no relationship, no sexual fantasy that kills and rapes black women is going to stop black women from being killed, hurt, and raped. If our consumption and creation doesn’t affirm, accept and explore the complicated lives of black women, we can’t be bout that life. No exceptions. Never. Shameful that after all this life, and education, and art creation, your tweet made me know that we really ain’t been bout shit. We really been encouraging black women’s death while leaning on black women for survival. Sorry ain’t enough.

All of the “Letters” are tender, open, apologetic, and raw and leave me longing for more. While I commend these men for stepping up and answering some of the concerns of Black women, I wish they were in the majority, and not merely a small group of progressive Black men.

If we are going to turn this thing around, and begin fostering positive spaces where both Black women and Black men feel safe and protected and supported, it’s going to take many more letters from many more brothas who aren’t afraid to step up and commit to being an ally.

Read all of the “Letters from Brothers Writing to Live” on Neal’s NewBlackMan website here

  • Leo the Yardie Chick

    Happy to see the conversation become civilized. Now, how to build on this.

  • kissofdanger

    I must say that the BWE movement is responsible for the awareness that birthed this hashtag. They have blogged about this for forever and a day now, and this is the result. If you don’t believe me then read their blogs.

  • noirluv45

    I think there may be many more Black men out there that echo the wonderful sentiments above than we know. I can tell you that the brothers I know are like this. I’m not saying they are the majority because, unfortunately, I don’t think they are, but still.

    What worries me are the young Black boys coming up and what they are hearing and listening to. I hear some Black girls saying that the Black boys they go to school with don’t like Black girls. They are being influenced somewhere because they are too young to pinpoint what they like or don’t like in a woman as it relates to comparisons. They will grow up with a disdain for Black women. Who’s going to help them grow up to love, honor, and respect Black women if they are already brainwashed. Shoot, I wonder how many of them love and respect themselves. What are parents doing to instill these values?

    I’m not saying that they are obligated to date/marry Black women, but we definitely don’t want them growing up with this negative ideas of us – at least I don’t.

  • omfg

    i feel so bad for saying this, but i roll my eyes at these responses.

    waaay back in 1995, what was the million man march about? wasn’t it about “atoning” for being the kind of men that prompted this twitter thread?

    except it was black men supposedly owning up to their failings and their unwillingness/inability to own up to their responsibilities….

    i’m glad that some black women publicly spoke out about our issues, but this discussion is so old to me. these apologies just make it plainly obvious how clueless and moronic people really are.

    talk is cheap. put up or shut up.

  • TrulyPC

    “If our consumption and creation doesn’t affirm, accept and explore the complicated lives of black women, we can’t be bout that life. No exceptions. Never. Shameful that after all this life, and education, and art creation, your tweet made me know that we really ain’t been bout shit. We really been encouraging black women’s death while leaning on black women for survival. Sorry ain’t enough.”

    A great start. It now needs to be amplified and reverberated throughout the Black community. It will take both Black men and women working together to redirect the horrible dead-end course that has been 50 years in the making. And if more Black men come to the same realization and act, sooner rather than later, we all will be better for it.

  • Pete

    Let’s stop the nonsense, right now. This, “black women were outraged over the Harriet Tubman sex tape,” is BS. Black people were outraged. Men & women. Fact! To say otherwise, is a damn lie. Second, black men have a history of coming to the defense of black women, who claimed being violated, and claiming victim status. Let’s see – black men came to the defense of Tawana Brawley, Crystal Mangum, the black woman who claimed being assaulted in the Korean store in Brooklyn, and the black woman who claimed she was gang raped, at Hofstra University.

    And what do all of those incidences, and others, have in common? You know. I know. Brian Banks know!!!!! # Stop the lies. Black women were no more offended by the Tubman sex tape, than black men. Stop it!!!!

  • MommieDearest

    This is makes me smile. It’s very encouraging. I’m glad these brothers spoke up and I pray that they inspire more to do the same. Good on them for taking this first step.

  • LemonNLime

    “I’m prepared to accept that black males are killed on the streets to the tune of thousands a year. As a woman I am prepared to accept we live in an imperfect oftentimes evil world where women are killed and raped. I am not however prepared to accept injustice. If there is an instance of injustic that is our fight. If the law, created to address those injustices prevails, the battle is won.”

    This is the dumbest thing I have read in my whole life. How have you “won” or can your consider anything “just” when you still have to worry about being murdered, raped, or beaten? Do you consider murder and rape to be “just” or just not worthy of consideration unless it is an action committed by non-blacks against blacks? You say fight against injustice but the fact that you think it is OK to live with murder, rape, and other forms of injustice makes you a hypocrite. Talk to victims of murder and rape, I promise they think those are valid injustices too.

  • aa

    @kissofdanger

    Exactly….and the only reason all of a sudden these so called ‘brothas’ get it is because more and more Black women are leaving/and encouraging other Black women to leave black men and the Black community….Now their support and cash cows are really doing it and they are scared and this is just a way to get non thinking Black women to stick around and continue to build them up/support them(money and otherwise)/be their stepping stones, etc..and sadly alot of Black women will fall for it….and these ‘brothas’ will go back to the same abuse, neglect, abandonment, hatred, etc. These ‘brothas’ knew exactly what they were doing….They just wanted someone they could sh****t! on like they feel they have been sh******D! on and Black women were it(they were so quiet after all) and these ‘brothas” LOVED AND ENJOYED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!!!!. DONT FALL FOR IT BLACK WOMEN! RUUUUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!

    @bereal aka qon, chillyroad…Did Tuwanna Brawley Tell you she lied? Then shut up witch.

  • http://gravatar.com/tellmesumtingood TajMarie

    Good point. . . not to mention the number of forums we have had based on the elements of misogyny and violence in rap.

  • http://twitter.com/rakillers the miller (@rakillers)

    Let me burst your self congratulating bubble and say this men don’t represent most black men.This is ivory tower black men. Most real black men who are not simps would laugh at those tweets. If you want to see how and what most black men see black women, go to youtube and Google, Tommy Sotomayor black women.

  • http://tedmiked.wordpress.com mike

    What is this talk about Using Trayvon as some sort of representative of black men,He was just a boy who got murder unjustly. Trayvon martin is your son, your brother, your father or your husband. This notion black men don’t care about black women plight is utterly false and defamatory.

    This is the kind of false, divisive, gender binary feminism brings. It is unproductive.

  • Kim

    2 cases. Ok. We are even. SMDH.

  • http://tedmiked.wordpress.com mike

    please stop that BS. You have no other option, if you did, you would have abandoned the ship long time ago. Go read the okcupid survey on race if you don’t believe me, but we all know the truth.lol…

  • Rosie

    I would also suggest black women bypass the online buzz and read NotYourGirlFriday’s blog/essay on the topic. Excellent analysis and relevant commentary.

  • simplyme

    Lol…

    If these men are the ivory tower, then those guys are the ground feeders of Black men. I’ve had the misfortune of stumbling across that world and most of them seem to either have serious mental issues or demons they are battling but have very poor coping skills. If you think that represents you or most Black men, you must think very lowly of yourself.

    None of the men I know fit that bill… because most of the Black men I know do not completely suck at life and weren’t jailed for owing 10s of thousands of dollars in unpaid child support before starting a youtube channel to rant and rave about the evil Black boogie woman. They make Black men look really bad. Black women on those “find your White prince now” recruitment sites love to quote those idiots for a reason.

  • A

    stop promoting that man’s channel!!! Let him collapse into himself like a star, never to be seen or heard from again.

  • R.Bibby

    I personally don’t care to hear what black men think, feel, or say. At this point in the game, it’s safe to say I’m indifferent to them, their sexist culture and their laundry list of issues.

    As far as I’m concerned, black women need to focus our attention on fair and equal treatment across the board. If we have to use the so-called “white man’s law” to get justice within our communities then so be it. Black women (and black children) right to equal protection needs to come BEFORE black men and their never ending list of issues.

    I just finished reading the book, There Are No Children Here, and that book only clarified what has become obvious: black men are a liability to black women. Not just black women, but black children as well. They have turned whole cities and communities into unsafe war zone. They ONLY protection black women and children have comes from THE LAW and police enforcement.

    Black men’s “no snitch” culture doesn’t provide any protection to black women and children. Instead, it leaves both groups vulnerable to criminal elements…who are BLACK MEN. Meanwhile, their “no snitch” culture takes a backseat once some white man cracks their head open. At that point they start screaming and singing like a canary. But let a black woman get attacked by the people more likely to do it: black men. We don’t hear a peep out of them. So, at this point I say fuck ‘em.

    Black women need to look out for themselves and each other…that’s about it. Stop expecting a tiger to change its stripes. Stop trying to reason with him. Stop trying to stress your perspective to him. The best thing to do is avoid him, disregard him, and watch your back when you’re around him.

  • Miakoda

    “This notion black men don’t care about black women plight is utterly false and defamatory”

    Precisely. Black women are just making things up when they talk about their experiences.

  • Careful thinker

    Okay how long have you all been saying that crap? This is still white man/ woman world and it will never be yours.

  • Misha

    Oww two whole cases, thank you black men! We don’t know what we would do without your support!

    ….please have a seat with that bullshit. I was on twitter arguing with black men this week and watched as every black woman who spoke out get called ugly,lesbian, bed wench or some other ignorant term. If ya’ll rallying behind two black women over a course of several decades is support you can gladly keep that shit.

  • MommieDearest

    “What worries me are the young Black boys coming up and what they are hearing and listening to. ”

    As the mother of a young son this worries me too. I make it my business to instill self-love, self-respect and pride in him, while affirming and nurturing his love and respect for black women and girls.

    Also, the majority of the black men that I know and that I encounter have good sense. I have a black husband, a black son, black nephews, black cousins, and black men and boys in my life who don’t perpetuate the widespread disdain for black women. I’m not saying such black men don’t exist, I’m just not going to lump all black men in that category. That would make me no better than those black men who view black women as unworthy of love and respect.

  • Iforgotitall

    While these men are eloquent and much of the writing jumps off the page as honest and heart felt. It must be noted the majority of these men are gay or trans-gender. Now I am taking this line from the website linked in the article. I visited and read a number of posts. On the bottom I found this line “Brothers Writing to Live is a group of black cis and trans-men who hail from spaces across the United States. ” I don’t know about any of the other ladies here, but I have a number of black gay male friends and they have ALWAYS understood the plight and issues that affect black women. I have never had to explain anything to them. It’s the straight black man, those supposedly rare educated black men who believe themselves to be pearls among swine, and kings among men that I have had the hardest time getting to acknowledge black male privledge. So I stopped trying, life is too short.

  • the alchemist

    @Mike

    Your comment just proved Kissofdanger’s point about black men being callous narcissist. It also confirms the sentiments in #BlackPowerIsForBlackMen.

    The white female chief prosecutor, judge, and jury gave George Zimmerman his gun back. Stay safe.

  • Iforgotitall

    Further, I would say Russell Simmons expresses a mindset more in step with the average heterosexual black man in this country. Though I guess for the next few weeks most BM will run a stampede in the opposite direction, he has been an icon and hero to many for the last 20 years.

  • the alchemist

    @Mike

    Black women have put black men on a pedestal and the air is thin up there. We know you don’t care which is why I didn’t go to any local Zimmerman trial protests. Good luck fighting the George Zimmerman’s of this world ALONE.

  • CanV

    @Mike: And yet here you are on a BLACK WOMEN’S site trying to discourage. If you weren’t worried you wouldn’t feel the need to say anything.

    But yes BWE has been saying this and has been encouraging Black women to do what is BEST for THEIR LIVES.

    And they should continue to do so regardless of how many letters pour in because the key to a good life is keeping people around you that have your back and reciporcate(sp?) what you do for them. If you make sure the people around you do this, you won’t need letters [YOU'LL HAVE ACTIONS].

  • CanV

    Thanks, I’m going right now.

  • Edward

    What is with these feminist men and women who think they can speak for everyone in their race/gender? We don’t love #blackpowerisforblackmen, YOU DO! You aren’t cool and you aren’t trendy. These female pandering men seem to think that respect is saying thank you when women spit in your face. There should be NO gender bashing in 2013. It’s not constructive behavior and it’s not supporting any relevant social movement.

  • joe

    So Tommy Sotomayor’s thinking is representative of most black men? Do you really believe that? If you do I know there is no possible way to reach you. Your mind and heart have been completely poisoned and your hatred of black men is permanent. The comment boards have been completely dominated by black women with an intense hatred of black men. They aren’t genuinely interested in solutions. Not beyond “get a white man.” For many, that is what this is REALLY about. I recognize many of the commenters as the “interracial crusaders” who have become so ubiquitous online. They appear en masse and dominate the tone and direction of a discussion. Their answer is always the same: White Men. There is nothing brothers can do to change the way these women think because we can’t change the color of our skin.

  • http://twitter.com/Fuckthestruggle Jason E (@Fuckthestruggle)

    What is this pedestal you speak of? Is it the waiting to exhale pedestal? Maybe its the Oprah single independent woman pedeastal. Or possibly the 50 Tyler Perry black male bashing movie pedestal? Or the black women on NBC claiming there are no good black men pedestal? Oh oh wait I’ve got it now, its the “there are more black men in jail than college” pedestal. That’s it!

  • Tony

    Now here’s the truth. How can you demand white women and black men do something that you’re not doing for each other?

    Black women, as a group, don’t like, support nor get along with each other. Black womend, as a group, only get along with their black female relatives and little click of black female friends and that’s about it. Don’t believe me? Take 10 random black teen girls or 10 random black women over 30 and put them in a group or office setting together. Come back in 4 weeks and watch the dysfunction. I’ve seen it to many times for you all to say it’s a lie.

  • Tony

    Noirluv45

    Where is this black community that black girls who are young, friendly, average to attractive looking, physically fit and can’t find a man? They have too many black men causing after them. The black women who are having a problem are fat, look like Flava Flav or Jayz and or are middle age. 80% of black boys live in segregated communities. Those boys have no other options even if they wanted to date other races.

  • http://gravatar.com/jadenoellesblog JN

    Earlier this year, a white guy named Jackson Katz led a TED talk on how violence against women was a men issue. One memorable quote is as follows: [When we act] as if white people don’t have some sort of racial identity … as if heterosexual people don’t have a sexual orientation, as if men don’t have a gender, [then] the dominant group is rarely challenged to even think about its dominance.” Would to God that Black men, even the ones who visit this site, would think about how to support women as allies, rather than getting defensive about how they do.

  • http://twitter.com/rakillers the miller (@rakillers)

    in that case don’t ever mention racism ever again.

  • CanV

    No you can’t change the color of your skin but Black men CAN change their ACTIONS towards Black women. They can speak out when we are disrespected, and they can check other Black men who disrespect Black women, they can PUBLICLY proclaim how beautiful and desirable we are. But Black men have not done these things in many decades, in fact they have largely done the opposite. So please stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself. And yep Black women will continue to find love with marriage minded men who love and respect them. Isn’t that what Black men do, find love with compatible women regardless of race or ethnicity?

  • CanV

    The post was excellent. I think every Black woman should read it. I’m not a feminist so that will be easy. Ignoring the B.S. that some Black men believe will be harder, but is getting much easier.

  • Cocoel

    I hate to say it, we see it in the schools all the time. Black males are dating “Other” in MASS numbers and they are in middle school. This is no lie!! Young black women are ignored and not even considered. If they are popular athletes, they can forget that. You have to push aside the Latin and White women to get to those young men. These young girls are PRETTY but not necessarily the most goal orientated or have the most involved family to promote educational goals. What I have witnessed is more popular white men dating the popular smart black girls. I have been seeing that a little more in the last year. They better watch out. The White and Spanish boys are seeing these younger black girls who are smart, and they are taking advantage of it . They are dating white girls and black women who are on the SAME LEVEL. What I mean is the same family income level and educational goals. Not saying it’s right or wrong, I’m just telling you what I have seen. This game of demeaning black women is not helping. It will not work for our men in the end. At some point, some black women will marry out more. I can’t say it will be this mass number but it will grow. I have heard some really sad commentary from well educated sisters. I don’t know how this divide will diminish. It is looking bad from what I’m seeing in our younger men. BAD

  • Creepy

    Lol. Have you been in a group of the same number of white women? LOL. OMG. Besides the snide remarks, class issues, sleeping with the boss, and who is trying to starve the most, it is a mess. They don’t get along either. Many comment they would rather have a male boss than their female counterpart even is she is MORE educated. God forbid one or two attended a lesser known school than the “Ivies” lord we hear all type of “white trash” comments. Yes, they can be worse depending on class. Then we have the career white girls vs the homemaker just back into the workforce over 45. Lord, is that not a mess. So, ask me again?

  • Brad

    Let me know how that works out for you?

  • http://www.blackbuying.com Sid

    Yesterday I went to a community meeting in here Columbus Ohio where a woman stated “we as black men” need to pay more attention to young black girls and be sensitive to their experiences and perspectives. Please understand that this woman did not say “you as black men……”. She said “we” as though she was including herself in the black male group. Not one person, including me, checked her on this. Personally I was fearful of starting an unnecessary confrontation that would have taken the meeting off track. After 35 years I have experienced this kind of interjection more than once. It is important for people to give black men the space we need to create our own culture. Once we are able to respect each other and effectively work together then we will be more useful to others. But we have to be given that space. Black power is indeed for black men.

  • http://gravatar.com/everclyde SingleGuy

    Proving why “apologizing” or agreeing with your attackers is a waste of time.

  • http://gravatar.com/everclyde SingleGuy

    ” I recognize many of the commenters as the “interracial crusaders” who have become so ubiquitous online. They appear en masse and dominate the tone and direction of a discussion. Their answer is always the same: White Men. There is nothing brothers can do to change the way these women think because we can’t change the color of our skin.”

    Speak on it brother. There are women that honestly don’t want understanding from Black men. They hate Black men and just want to promote their love of White Male patriarchy. Which is hilarious.

  • Miss E

    @ Tony: Here we go again with the ‘(black) women are catty & always fight each other but (black) men are easy to get along with & stick together’ BS. Total BS. If men get along with each other so much why are they fighting wars against each other all over the world? And why are so many (black) men killing other (black) men in the inner cities? And what about all those celebrity ‘beefs’ that have been happening between (black) men? So kindly revise your theory, it’s not holding up.

  • The truth

    Why would someone thumb this up 47 times. Are you serious. There is real hurt souls out here.

  • 9Boots

    The facts don’t lie. Black women have been murdered, raped, and beaten by black men for decades with no recourse. Do you know what misogyny is? Apparently not. It is the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, denigration of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification of women. Now wear your title black MISOGYNISTS. Since the beginning of time all men of all nations and tribes understood it is THEIR responsibility to provide food, shelter, protection, train their sons, and GO TO WAR if need be. Black men keep shuckin their responsibility because they are too busy crying about the white man. Ain’t nothing changed black men, if you are still men, you are responsible for the above actions regardless of the circumstance. Stop relying on women to fight men’s battles! Man UP! Stop deflecting by talking about white men. For the last 50 years it is not white men that have been having sex with black women and refusing to marry them. It has not been white men that have been producing children with black women and running away from their children like they are the plague. White men don’t ask us black women to march for them every other damn day.

    Notice how they refuse to shed tears over black women. Notice how they refuse to lift the burdens off of our backs. Notice how they always want you to march for them but there is never a march by black men for the better treatment of black women. They refuse to rally together and have a common goal to man up and get a wife. To return to the millions of sons and daughters they have abandoned. See how they won’t even use one brain cell to think about how to help us. See how they won’t use one heart beat of theirs to get angry enough to make THEM WANT TO DO SOMETHING TO PROTECT US! They are not men, men instinctively know to STAND UP & FIGHT FOR THEIR WOMEN. Tell me this, why is it that my grandfather never acted like these evil, selfish, cowardly boys? My grandfather had 14 CHILDREN! He never once abandoned them and he stayed MARRIED to my grandmother for 40 YEARS until she passed and he never remarried. My father has 3 children that he has not abandoned and has been MARRIED to our mother for 44 YEARS! Both of these black men have lived through racism and feminism and REFUSED to behave like these “FAUX MEN”! They need to get some CHARACTER & CONVICTION and stop blaming everybody for their selfishness. They CHOOSE TO BEHAVE THIS WAY, NO ONE IS FORCING THEM. Now maybe these users need to start talking to REAL MEN like my FATHER.

    Since black men do not like black women they need to stop having sex with black women. It is funny how they say black women are the problem with the “I don’t need a man statement”. This statement came about from us being abandoned over and over and over again by black men. It is a method of self defense, we say it because black men are practically never looking for a wife. Black men have been refusing to work, marry, and raise their children for 50 years now. They only look for sex and then turn around and blame black women for the results. They say to black women,
    it is your fault I don’t have a job,
    it’s your fault you chose to have sex with us,
    it’s your fault I impregnated you,
    it’s your fault I am abandoning my child,
    it is your fault that you and your children are poor,
    it is your fault the young boys turn into thugs,
    it’s your fault you have the highest female homicide rate
    it’s your fault you have the highest incidences of sexual abuse among women
    it is your fault I cant find a woman to marry but I will have sex with you though.
    Thus the cycle continues over and over again. Do you see how their desire to only have sex ruins the community? They do not want to be men that actually love. Since black men don’t want to be employed, husbands, and fathers they need to LEAVE BLACK WOMEN THE HELL ALONE and stop coming to them for SEX. They can’t have their cake and eat it too. ” For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man” Mark 7:21-23 Jesus Christ

    Evil chooses to be evil.

    REPENT BLACK MEN

    Unless some demon, or alien forces these black men to unzip their pants, kidnaps them from their children, forces them to murder, rape, and beat, black women, THESE BLACK MISOGYNISTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR BEHAVIOR.

    You misogynists need counseling in the following areas:
    1. stop being liars and admit you treat black women like dirt
    2. stop blaming white men and black women for your behavior
    3. black women do not exist for the sole purpose of sex and your fight against the white man
    4. you should be looking for a wife instead of a harem
    5. get some self control and keep your zippers up until you get married
    6. do not abandon your children
    7. you are responsible for providing, food, clothing, and shelter
    8. stop raping and sexually abusing women and girls
    9. stop physically abusing women and girls
    10.stop murdering black women and girls
    11. stop promoting misogyny

    Black women were brainwashed into being loyal to black men because they cried and begged and said “we can’t fight the white men alone it is too hard.”. We have practically laid down on the street to elevate the height of black men by trying to make things easier for them because we understood racism and classism was holding them and us back. Unfortunately many black women sold their souls throwing out all standards and expectations of what manhood is and the requirements of how men should behave. However, we are now tearing down the false god (black misogynist men) and are awakening. Instead of being appreciative they only walk all over you day in and day out. It is time to cut your losses. As you can see all they want is sex, they refuse to marry you and they want to save money by refusing to take care of their children. Stop giving your bodies to unappreciative, selfish cowards. No marriage no sex. The solution is for black women to stop having sex with these misogynists. Wait till you are married to have sex this way your body will not be used by them. Do not live with them unless you have married him. Stop tying up your finances with men you are not married to. Do not spend your money purchasing rap and R&B music (because they promote misogyny and the R&B singers are never married because they are players), black movies (because the same misogynists are in them, go to the Red Box), their books, and clothing & accessories. Only deal with men that are looking for a wife. First make sure the man understands his role as a man. He must love, work, protect,and be willing to die for wife and children. A common lie stated by these single black misogynists is ” I can’t find a good black woman”. It’s a typical lie used to try and justify their constant search for new sex partners.

    Black women, if you love yourselves, you will need to take a stand.

    p.s. These black misogynists think their pimp game is strong. They think you do not have the ability to cut them loose. Now prove them wrong

  • http://gravatar.com/gparson vintage3000

    Many Black males do not even respect each other, never mind Black women. All races commit intra-racial crimes, Black men have brought murder against each other to another level. They hate themselves, Black women, our communities and all the fake bravado, machismo and chest thumping does not hide that fact.

    While eunuchs like the ones in this thread are hurling insults at Black women (on a site for Black women), every time they walk out the door they have targets on their backs from each other and the cops. It’s much easier for these males to rant against anonymous women, instead of owning up to their own social impotence.

    To these males I say–good luck staying alive, ya’ll–if you can even do that without begging Black women for help.

  • lola289

    @ Noirluv45 Exactly!

    I just want us as a people to bridge the gap that we have w/ sexuality,gender,age, etc. I honestly could care less who anyone dates, but RESPECT is still key!

  • the alchemist

    This is undiluted truth

  • Black People

    It’s amazing the amount of hatred and vitriol, coming from black women towards black men and males. These are the same women raising black males from youth to adulthood, with this mentality. Black women act like they don’t have sons or have never been related to black males. The black women on this site must’ve grown up in an orphanage. Black women blame everything on black men, yet they are the primary raisers of black boys. Whatever attitude black males have for black women, they got from black women, especially their mothers.

  • Black People

    Where do black women get this stuff. Sometimes I forget is this a black female website or a neo-nazi website, because apparently, they both share the same mentality towards black men. But it’s okay though, your white prince will soon come save you. Isn’t it amazing how black women say they don’t sate black men and are leaving them for white men, yet somehow white men didn’t get the message.

    Also the funniest line from your vitriol rant, is don’t support black music or black movies. Only support other races. It’s not that black women have a problem with black men, they have a problem being black in general. Only support the white arts and entertainment. Only a black women against black men would say that. LOL.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    “For the last 50 years it is not white men that have been having sex with black women and refusing to marry them.”

    Yeah, they’ve been doing it for about 500 years.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    I worked in a mostly black school for 8 years and saw quite the opposite. It was rare that a black boy was dating other. Perhaps it was because of the lack of “other” in the school, but they often would date girls from other schools. With a predominately white school just a mile away, it wasn’t like there were no non-black girls around. Now, I did see this at some of the predominately white schools, but the number of black students at those schools was pretty low. Additionally, the black girls at those schools usually were dating non-black guys. I coached a number of kids from surrounding areas, including those from majority white schools. It was rare that these students would be dating another black person.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    Good to see productive dialogue free of blanket statements and overgeneralizing. The new white supremacy

  • http://gravatar.com/everclyde SingleGuy

    It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. I also don’t buy into the hype that Black men are just abandoning their children. The courts erroneously ASSume that the children are better of with the mothers.

  • http://gravatar.com/everclyde SingleGuy

    Confused about the last part. Also what difference does it make that the speaker was a white guy. Does that mean we should all stand up straight and listen?

  • Tony

    When a Black women gets pregnant by a black man they don’t really like they run to the abortion clinic to abort those kids they don’t want. When these same black women get pregnant by a man they like or think they love these black women blame the man for getting her pregnant and thinks he suppose to marry her regardless of whether he likes or loves her? lol

    These are not the thoughts of a mature women these are the thoughts of a child. Black women you are responsible for your body, life and future. You and no one else. Don’t expect a bum, player or man who does not care about you to change just because you’re pregnant. The government has given you complete control of your reproduction. You can’t turn around and say you’re only responsible (abortion) when it’s a child you don’t want. Then blame the end result of the illegitimate kids you keep. Black communities overwhelmed with poverty, crime, poor academics. Communities full of black illegitimate kids who are now terrorizing the black community.

    Look at the illegitimacy rates of women by education. It’s clear which women are and are not being responsible and accountable for their life, body and future. Honestly, all of these women are having the same amount of sex, unprotected sex. When trust is built and emotions and feelings are involved the condom almost always is not used or not used every time regardless of race and education. It’s just human nature and a fact of life.

    Illegitimacy rates:
    White women degree (ie most of the feminist) 6%.
    Black women degree 30%.
    Black women no degree over 80%. If you’re a black man, it’s clear which women are more likely to get pregnant. A large percentage of Black women are adamant that they’re going to have kids whether they’re in a committed relationship or not. And, they have that right….. nothing is going to change in the black community.

  • http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/ Jay

    What is the BWE movement?

  • Tony

    Correction:
    Then blame the BLACK MAN FOR THE end result of the illegitimate kids you keep……….

  • DiasporaUK

    Is this foolishness still going on?

    These guys actually responded with apologies to Lemeiux’s phoney “abandoned woman”, distress call?

    These negros need go back to the white women they’re slumming with and Lemeiux needs to take her whining to the white men she wishes would slum with her.

    Both of em need to stay out black peoples’ businesses and keep black peoples’ name out of their mouths.

    The only people who’ve abandoned black women are females like Lemeiux herself.

    If not

    what’s it called a when a bl?ck female runs to white feminists begging for their love and support, instead of using her platform to educate and organise black women against white supremacy?

    You won’t see the likes of Lemeiux & co or the simpering white knights in this story, anywhere near where real black men and black women are organising to fight the power.

    Comedy at its not-funnyest.

  • http://gravatar.com/keimia Kam

    NO, geez, it means that when you have privilege you are often blind to that privilege.

  • http://gravatar.com/keimia Kam

    Tommy Sotomayor is extremely popular. Every time Youtube tries to shut him down he just makes another account. He has like 5 accounts and every singe one of them is popular. He’s not the only one and clearly from the comments and the likes spewing hatred against Black women is popular. And not even on Youtube I’m seeing it in other places online and offline. If this is not a popular view, that Black women who disagree are not doing a good job at making themselves heard because the silence is deafening.

    Look at mainstream hip hop/rap. Over 20 years of music dragging Black women through the mud. Over 20 years of being called b*****s, h**s, and all sorts of misogyny with the added hurt of it being exported to the entire world. Sorry I’m just tired of it.

  • joe

    The most hateful and racist comments I have seen online, directed at black men, have been written by black women. Nothing on Stormfront or any of the other white supremacist sites comes close. This comment, filled with racist stereotypes and generalizations, is just further confirmation of that.

  • Jessica

    The illegitimacy rate for US white women is 40%
    WHITE WOMEN HAVE FAR MORE ACTUAL LIVES BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK THAN BLACK WOMEN!

  • Justus

    Well here we go with another lesson in anti-blackness. Victims blaming other victims. Its a shame. We are on the same team. Black female, black children, black males and we are getting blowed out 72-0 lol. Sistas the frustration u feel is very legitimate, however if u take a deeper look at the black diaspora worldwide u will see that people of color especially the ones classified as black have internalized their oppresion and pain. This explains why we are so vicious with each other. Everything has to be put into its proper Context. Black people didn’t just get here 50 years ago. This is generational. Obviously before we can dismantle Racism (White Supremacy) there has to be an understanding between both genders so we can together be about neutralizing Racist man, Racist Woman, and Racist child and replace racism (White Supremacy) with a system of justice where no one gets mistreated and the people who need the most help gets it. Black people I would like to leave u with a great qoute from our Ancestor. A Woman called Moses.

    “I freed a thousand slaves I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.”

    Harriet Tubman

  • Justus

    Once again Anti-Blackness is on the rise and getting stronger by the second. We are in a critical phase of our existence on this planet and the clock is running out. Black Woman, Black Child, and Black male we are on the same team. There is no seperation between us.

    We are either going to solve this problem together as a unit or continue to be dominated by Racist man, Racist woman, and Racist child. The choice is an collective one not an individual one.

    Sistas we (Black Males) haven’t been able to protect u or provide with the proper support u needed, and this has finally brought us to the gender war we currently find ourselves in. So your frustration, confusion, and anger is justified. We are stuck it seems, we continue to lash out at each other furiously, no solution in sight. Victims blaming other Victims. This has got to come to an end if we are going to eliminate the system of Racism ( White Supremacy)

    Let me state for the record that white patriarchy which is Racism ( White Supremacy) has no room for black males. We are totally excluded just like u guys are when it come to White feminism which is Racism (White Supremacy). There is no difference they work as a unit collectively. Race in this instance trumps gender. White men cannot dominate the planet without his Woman. It would be impossible. U see everything must be viewed in its proper Context. Our reactions to their domination is what has caused our communication to breakdown.

    My beautiful Black People i would like to leave u with a qoute from one of our precious ancestors. The Woman they called Moses.

    “I freed a thousand slaves. I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they knew they were slaves.”

    Harriet Tubman

  • https://www.facebook.com/bobby.rocwell.3 Bobby Rocwell

    #blackpowerisforblackmen When Black women confuse Black ignorance with Black power.

  • Jrw

    You spelled ” I need to take a seat and shut my mouth wrong”

  • Ashley M.

    We immediately knew to march for Trayvon, but you can’t even recognize what a disappointment so many black men have been (even if it isn’t you) without trafficking in disrespect.

  • Ashley M.

    Just name one march. I marched for Trayvon and you marched for….? JUST NAME THE BLACK WOMAN WHOSE RIGHTS OR DIGNITY YOU MARCHED TO DEFEND.

  • Ashley M.

    So, this sista’ writes an article highlighting positive black men taking a stand to support black women (which has not been widespread) and negative black men take to the comments section to tear down black women for being negative. Huh? #PleaseTakeTwoSeats

  • Shaunda

    I took the time to read some of these comments (5 pages worth) and I have never read such venom in my life. Especially towards Black men. Now, sometimes I like to read an article or two from here but I normally stop when it comes to the comments. I will agree with the comment (I believe a gentleman said it) that there shouldn’t be any gender bashing in 2013. There shouldn’t be any hate spewed toward each other (brothers & sisters) but i can see this site has some very hurt readers (hurt people hurt people, you know) who have not taken the time to heal themselves and their wounds. My heart goes out to all of you who were hurt by someone who didn’t own up to it. I know, it hurts. I have been hurt by brothers before (some I naively choice for my own selfish reasons and others I had no clue he was that way or had those intentions) but that would never allow me to paint an entire community of men with one brush stroke. Just like we ladies treat men according to how they handle themselves, they do the same to and for us. That’s been my experience anyway. I believe you can’t get sugar treating and talking to people like sh!t, so how based off this thread of comments alone, how do we expect to get the men’s sympathy, support, love, help, etc., if hateful talk is thrown at them like “eff em” or “we don’t need black men anymore” or any other craziness? I believe in treating people how I want to be treated and I damn sure wouldn’t want someone to tell me any of the aforementioned things because then I’d cut you out of my life with the quickness. Think about it.

    In the end, all was said with love. I support and love my sisters because we need each other and I love my brothers because I learn a lot from and about y’all.

  • Jah

    After this crap, I’m gonna make that commitment in my heart to God and myself to be dutiful ready to defend the Black Woman of my race. To stand up for them, to be a Voice when I feel they’re being excluded or not heard.

    We can’t talk about being Black Men if we don’t promote the sistahs’ contributions to our success. And we need to stand behind the success of Black Women; promote it, highlight it and see it as part of the success of the Black Race….and their achievements is also Black History!

    No race or nationality can stand without the Women of their race and nationality making that possible. How we got to the point where we demean and belittle our sistahs, is b.s. and need to be STOPPED.

    Brothers, check the next brother talking down on Black Women. Check them when they objectify and see them as a sexual fetish. Disassociate yourselves from them.

    Promote Black Unity. Stand with the Black Women, even if Black women date outside their race, stand for them as Black Woman. Nobody is gonna show them in a positive light like the Black Men can.

    We gotta stand for each others, Black Woman and Black Man. One Love!

  • Jah

    Black Women that follows the BWE crowd are the same loud-mouth, ratchet types Black women all too common in Black culture.

    If you so hell-bent leaving the Black Race and the Black men, why are you here? This site isn’t BWE. Though it promotes Interracial Dating, it isn’t shunning Black men altogether. So, why are you here?

    This particular article is a condemnation at a hashtag by a SINGLE Black man whose views is not shared by majority of Black men but a minority, if not lesser than that.

    So, why are you here promoting “White Supremacy” rhetoric at Black men? I notice Black women like you run in a group of 30 women or so that goes around hijacking Black women sites to push for all Black women to leave Black men and the Black race.

    Listen up, Black People. BlackWomanEmpowerment is a CULT. It’s goal and mission has NOTHING to do with being a Black Woman or uplifting the Black Woman or her race. It’s mission is to do one thing: destroy ALL Black Men while unwittingly promoting Racial Genocide.

    If it was about Black Women, then you can’t exclude Black men because it takes a Black Woman and a Black Man to make the very Black Woman these race-traitors are advocating for.

    Use your common sense. An ideology push by the likes of the BWE movement can never be a long-term solution or about Black Women.

    Their movement actually DESTROY Black Women by having her leave for White men. White men in turn, mate these Black women and produce bi-racial children. That’s the first act in destroying Black Women.

    The next act is to have their bi-racial children grow up and if it’s a girl, they too, mate with White Men because their Black mother will instill their corrupted and bankrupted ideology in the minds of their girls.

    So, when their bi-racial daughter grows up and find a White man and produce children, and if it’s a girl, she is ethnically, a pure Caucasian girl than having any of her Black genes.

    Totally eradicating the “Black Woman” in her, more so than any minority of Black men that may hate Black Women could do!

    And that’s the second and final act to completely destroying the Black Woman based on a new-age ideology they claim is being, “feminism” when in fact, they’re being Race Traitors to their race and self-hate at themselves.

    To the Black Women not tainted by the ideology of the BWE movement, it should be your duty to stand up to these wicked, demonic Black women because that’s essentially what they are. Don’t you DARE compare and identify yourselves with those women.

    There are Black women that date interracial, and still love their Black race and Black men but just couldn’t find a Black man suitable to her liking so they date White men.

    Contrast to these women at BWE, you know you’re dealing with Black women not of God and yet, they profane God’s name in their movement, which is blasphemy, to say the least. God does not stand with those Jezebel-ites, demonic She-Devils. And you, Black Woman, are not those women!

    Stand up to them. Stand for your “Black Woman” Identity. Stand for your Black Race. Stand for the Black Men of your race and break their spell on the naive, young Black women getting indoctrinated and brainwashed by these demonic, Black Women.

    Black Love and Black Unity!

  • Jah

    ….and what you just described is the shit that goes on in the ghetto where, BOTH Black Woman AND Black Man are victims.

    It’s comical how selfish-minded Black women try to steer these issues as affecting Black Women only when it affect BOTH Black Woman and Man.

    This is just further reasons that when Yah gather us back to our ancestral homeland, women like you will be cut-off and what the Bible refers to as, “Rebels.”

    It’s not your concerns that are a problem. Black men reading your comments would be nodding right along with the issues affecting us until you turn it around and make it about “black women” when that’s a shallow and selfish view.

    Self-centered women like you have no business being born.

  • Joyous

    This is all BS. This is nothing but a bunch of lost men and women fight for a seat at the Caucasion man and women’s crooked table in route into their spiritually and emotionally bankrupt beds. I am pro Black men, women and children. Period and point blank. We all go together. If you are about separating Black men, women, and children from each other, you FAIL. I don’t care how much you think you love your own gender. If you hate and despise the opposite gender that you were either conceived or birthed from, you FAIL. No amount of articles, discussions, books, forums, you tube videos dissing Black men or women will EVER turn those of us who are FOR each other. I am so sick of of people out to make a buck and a name for themselves with this back and forth gender mess. Isn’t if even a little odd that none of you lost ones seems to think that a possible solution is to begin talking to Black men and women who are in healthy relationships with each other? Find out what they are doing right. Of course you don’t. We all know why. See the top of this parapraph if you have forgotten. The ultimate solution is to completely and wholesale reject Caucasions and everything they are a part of. Literally spit in their faces when they seek to be with you. You lost ones would probably rather die before you could reject them though. Let me remind you. FREEDOM is when Black American people no longer depend on Caucasions for ANYTHING. How many of you lost ones are willing to discuss that? That is a conversation worth having. Anything else is BS.

  • Marla

    The black raced has had the wool pulled over their eyes by the very white men and women they worship and hold in such high esteem over black people.

    No other race is battling itself like the black race. How can you let your masters trick you and fool you into to hating people, distrusting people, who look like you?

    I notice both black men and women will give a white person a chance be it dating or any other situation before they will another black person. You have been Mind F***ed.

    I have a relative that has been put down by a white man she met online. She has done so much for this white man it is ridiculous. She has been called stupid by this man, he has sent her remedial style books and this woman has a degree. He told her in so many words that she is not his equal and that she is not as smart as he is. He has done other things to her as well. He has called and cursed her out over something he wanted her to do. I saw him try to leave and throw her down and I saw her beg him. I mean if she could have drove to him and got on her Knees and service him, she would have done this. She would have done anything for him not to walk away from her.

    However, she has never had a black man do any of these things to her.

    And it is the same with black men. But your white master is always better than another black person. I noticed black people who have not found another black person. Well, You were not trying to. You purposely looked for white. I laugh as these white women and black men/white men and black women relationships end up in divorce.

    They also lead to other things. I have seen black women say they will never date a black thug but date a white one that wears a suit.

    I have to laugh because when the better relationship aka black with a non black ends, it is just so shocking? Why?

    I have seen educated bl

  • Marla

    Your talking pure bs and I am a black woman. Go ahead and run to these others and abandon this community but guess what they don’t want you.

    The whites don’t want you the asians, indians, natives, hispanic, etc. When you get amongst them, they will let you know. They disrespect you threaten you and will even kill you.

    I noticed in my own experience with family and friends. A good majority of black women are not being hurt or wrong by black men. It is you are like these black sellout men who view white or some other is better and your loser heads stuck up these sellouts butts will not accept a black man because of these sellouts.

    I posted just a minute ago about a white man sh***ing on my relative but it hasn’t happen with a black man…

    I have had a friend killed by a white man who she married. But of course they treat us better. I have had one beaten black and blue but of course they treat us better. I have a few who help them build business and then barely get any of the profits but they put all the time and effort into it.

    Also, their families don’t want anything to do with you either. I know some black women who have gotten spat on by their husbands mothers, aunts, grandmothers, sisters, cousins, fathers, brothers, etc. They treat you like garbage. I have seen this many times. But of course you are going to have a fairy tale end because they are other. NOT
    Even when you don’t have their family to deal with, these other people of that race are treating you like garbage.

  • http://gravatar.com/virginopolis virginopolis

    I am excited that such conversations are actually being discussed in a positive thought provoking environment. As a black gay male feminist, feeling accepted by black women has been amazing in terms of support, love, and community, because there is no safety, trust, or understanding from black men as a whole. I am blessed to have a blood brother who is my best friend, and I dream of the day that I can stand amongst black men as a whole and be counted a peer. For black men comprise a whole spectrum of people of different religions and sexual orientations. Rome wasn’t built in a day. I am realistic in my desires, but right now I shout ‘YES!’ in regards to such open healing conversations about black men supporting black women. Black men be empowered! Apologizing and commitment are only the first steps. Awareness and knowledge of deep rooted social injustices like misogyny, heterosexism, homophobia, white-normativity, and sexual violence is the blessing at the end of the tunnel. I love it, and I can’t wait for it to spread like fire.

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