iyanla

Iyanla Vanzant doles out hard-hitting life advice on her OWN show “Iyanla: Fix My Life” but her subjects extend past the celebrities and everyday people who appear on the series. She fixed her gaze on black women at Essence Festival when she referred to black women being “out-of-order” on a panel.

She expounded upon that claim during an interview with Madame Noire, saying:

“We have such a rich culture and in that culture, there are roles and purposes and powers. And we live in a society now where women are commodities, where women are demeaned, diminished, demoralized in ways that we accommodate.

And if we really understood who we are as feminine representations of the creator of the universe, some of the things that we experience in life — like crying when the unemployed boo boo leaves us — if we really understood who we are, we wouldn’t be so apt to let other people define us and confine us. We are out-of-order!

We give men, let me just say people, who are not honorable respectful sensitive to who we are – we give them reign in our lives in ways that make us mentally emotionally and physically sake.

There is no reason to continue to have children with men who don’t honor us and don’t take care of their children. Out of order.”

She also said that black women are guilty of “defiling” one another by “sleeping with another woman’s man, betraying one another’s confidence and not honoring one another’s word.”

Watch below:

What do you think of Iyanla’s comments?

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  • Krystal

    I’m white, my only daugter and child is white and the points made made by Iyanla are not the province of one race. My daughter had six children by four different men by the time she was 28 – all of which are deadbeat and drug addicts. Do you think I didn’t want a better life for her than this? She did not learn this from my example and no amount of pleading made a difference. Telling women they are ‘out of line’ may be true but when their self-esteem is in the toilet doesn’t help. You can’t change someone that doesn’t want to change and you can’t save someone that doesn’t want to be saved. What is horrible is what happens to these children. My heart breaks in a million pieces over the lives my grand children are living. It haunts me everyday. She won’t change for me, she won’t change for herself, she won’t change for her children. Tell me Iyanla what works?

  • Velma

    If what Iyanla is saying applies, pay attention. If it doesn’t, keep on moving. She makes perfect sense and it needed to be said.

  • She’s right, so many women need to take her advice and wise up. I need to remember this as well.

  • Pam FV Wildcat

    First of all we need some dates on here for reference
    Now:
    Rules to Ponder
    1. I am a beautiful black woman. I am beautiful because of the love and respect that I have for myself and how I treat others.
    2. All women need to love themselves before they love any man. That includes dad, boyfriend, or husband. They are not equal to God.
    3. If your daddy is absent, it does not have anything to do with your issues. Do not exalt your daddy. He is not to be placed above your beautiful mother who gave birth to you.
    4. Do not wear a purity ring from your dad unless he places one on your brother’s finger too. That is sexist. That is wrong. White women need to stop this practice in their communities. Some black women are trying to follow this practice.
    5. No single woman owes any man sex. So what if he quits you. No single female should not be laying in bed with any boyfriend. If he can’t put a ring on your finger, he should not put his parts into your body. Sex is not food, clothing, nor is it shelter. It does not help you talk, walk, see, speak, or breathe. Be serious about what is really needed. Do not keep having babies with a man wont marry you.
    6. Stop being catty to other females. Watch how respectfully men treat each other. Also support other females. Men do it all the time for other men. Close your mouth if you cannot speak respectfully to other females.
    7. Stop stripping on the Internet, in tv, and in the movies. Don’t pose naked for your boyfriend, because he will definitely show them or put them in videos. Keep your clothes on so that your daughter and son won’t be embarrassed by those ridiculous pictures one day. Would your boyfriend let you film his genitals??

    As far as Iyanla is concerned, I can see that herapproach that she uses with women is one sided, biased, unfair, rude, and scornful. I find her attitude and treatment of women, very disrespectful and belittling. When she does her television shows, she goes to women’s houses, she speaks to the husbands as if they are kings and she speaks to the women in a demanding way. You don’t get in a woman’s face and make her cry and tell her that she is trying to wear the pants in her house and that she demeans her husbands, after he has gotten cold and distant and mistreats his wife. She takes the husbands side almost every time. It is so wrong.
    10- 5-14

  • Orlando coombs

    I dont fully agree with that. Most black women aint whoring themselves around with each others men. Thats nonsense. When Iyanla Vanzant calls black women out of order, those things support white supremacy. Cause how many young white women do we see having kids from low life crystal meth smoking neandrathals who are in and out of jail and are just flat out bums? Sleeping with another woman’s man or husband is absolutely disgusting and greasy. And that is not exclusive to black women. I respect Iyanla Vanzant for her work and wisdom she provides in terms of healing and getting through tough times in life. But lets stop feeding pathologies rooted in systematic white supremacy. Thanks.