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Last night’s MTV Video Music Awards was a clusterfuck of what the fuckery and cultural appropriation.

There was Katy Perry and her “grill”:

2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals

Everyone kept on hollering “What’s up Brooklyn” every time they had a chance. Maybe a “What’s Up Gentrified Brooklyn?” would have been more apropos. The only person to represent Brooklyn was Lil Kim’s newest face. Was Jay-Z not available?

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But let’s talk about Robin Thicke and Miley Cyrus. Just in case you missed it, skip ahead to the 3:00 mark:

Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” hit wasn’t enough to garner him an award. He was shut out in all of the categories he was nominated in. All the while, Marvin Gaye’s family was probably sitting back saying, “Karma’s a bitch”.  Somewhere in America, Billy Ray Cyrus’ achy breaky heart was breaking into pieces.

But not all of the performances were shitastic. Although Justin Timberlake did receive a Vanguard award, did a medley of his hits and even reunited with the other members of N’Sync for 20 seconds:

 

The performances of the night definitely have to go to Bruno Mars for his performance of “Gorillas” and Kanye West’s performance of “Blood on the Leaves”.  Both of their performances were simple and to the point. Bruno Mars thrusted his pelvis a couple of times and Kanye emoted.

That’s all I got. There’s a new drug out called crackcocaineweedecstacymolliesacid and apparently everyone at the award show was on it. Two hours worth of nothing. Thanks, MTV.

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  • noirluv45

    I stopped watching award shows in the mid-80s. I guess I haven’t missed anything.

    • MommieDearest

      Girl, you and I both. I don’t have the patience, and I honestly can’t tell one awards show from the next. It’s like they interchange the same people.

      Besides, in the age of the Internet, it’s no longer necessary to watch any of them. All you have to do is hit the web the next day to catch the highlights and gossip and it’s like you were right there anyway.

  • As a die hard Marvin Gaye fan, in my reading off the Gaye family to sue Robin Thicke, I have yet to understand what the suite is about? Can anyone explain to me?

  • While I was never a fan of Lil’ Kim’s rapping, I always thought that she was a really cute woman. What in heaven’s name has she allowed these plastic surgeons to do to her? She looks like a monster. My goodness!

    • DasaniFRESH

      I thought she actually looked better than she usually does… hmm maybe that’s just me…

    • Nyala

      I suppose most people are upset because the woman basically white-washed herself over the years to gain popularity (and still lost it). In my opinion, she looks like a vague Nicki Minaj from about 100 feet away.