Tim AllenWelcome to Whitesplaining Palooza: a magical time where white folks will explain issues dealing with people of color so that finally everyone can understand!Have you seen a non-white person do something confusing or have you heard about a non-white problem and you’re simply lost? No problem! White folks will explain it to you!

Between Sirota, DowdO’Reilly and myriad others who would love to explain how the mysterious others work, there are no problems that cannot be easily explained!

The latest magical Whitesplainer: Tim Allen.

You may remember Tim Allen as the lovable dad on the ’90s TV show Home Improvement. You may remember him as a co-star with Martin Lawrence in the 2007 movie Wild Hogs. Or you may not remember him at all, but Tim Allen wants to explain to you about how to deal with the word “ni**er”.

Yes. Tim Allen. Yes. Ni**er.

The following quotes had the word “ni**er” edited out by the site that published it. I unedited them.

I’ve had this argument on stage a million times. I do a movie with Martin Lawrence and pretty soon they’re referring to me, ‘hey, my nigger’s up.’ So I’m the ni**er if I’m around you guys but seven feet away, if I said ni**er, it’s not right. It’s very confusing to the European mind how that works, especially if I’ve either grown up or evolved or whatever, it literally was growing up in Colorado, with Hispanics and Anglos, that’s all I remember.

In Webster’s old dictionary the word ‘ni**er’ means unemployed and indigent dock worker. That’s one definition. So I said, (to my brother) in that case … he lives in Boston and he’s not employed … so you’d be a ni**er. And he goes, yeah. If my brother told me not to call him a dingleberry in front of my mother, ’cause I knew it pissed him… pisses me off. As soon as Mom left, and I wanted to piss him off? I’d say ‘dingleberry, dingleberry, dingleberry.’ So if you’re around a word to be problematic for you and low intellect or uninvolved people find that out, they’re gonna call you ni**er all day long ’cause they know you don’t like it.

See black people? The actual issue is that everyone knows we don’t like the word and “low intellect or uninvolved people” will then use the word because, duh, we don’t like it. So just let everyone use it, nobody get bothered and boom! Problem solved.

“You want to take the power away from that word so that no one is offended by it,” he added, telling a 50-year-old joke by Bruce about how President Kennedy could defuse slurs by using them to describe Jewish, Italian and black people in his cabinet. ‘If I have no intent, if I show no intent, if I clearly am not a racist, then how can ‘n—–’ be bad coming out of my mouth?’”

Yeah! If he doesn’t mean anything bad, if it’s not in his heart then why would ni**er be bad?

Tim Allen explaining how to deal with the word ni**er is hilarious. Not because he’s a comedian, but because he has no understanding of how racism works.

(Continue Reading @ The Grio…)

  • Belle

    Tim Allen needs to stay in his lane.

    Too often we give too much weight to the opinions of celebrities on things that are outside of their area of expertise.

    The result is that many celebrities think that they are philosophers, sociopolitical commentators, or relationship experts.

  • Lyssa

    anyone want to help tim here find more people?

  • Mademoiselle

    I actually agree with his first point: white people keep saying it because they know it gets a rise out of us every time. He’s right. And I do agree that the more we become publicly irate about every insignificant person who says it, the more it fuels them because racism isn’t illegal, but the only way you can legally express it is through free speech, and since it’s so effective… n-word, n-word, n-word.

    I also agree that black people do a helluva job confusing white folks with “the rules.” I grew up with the white kids who had all black friends that used the word between them, giving a pass to the white kid. That white kid would get stomped outside of his respective neighborhood though. Hell, it confused me. Every time I saw a token white or hispanic kid among a group of black friends, I tended to just sit silent whenever the white/hispanic kid spoke because I never knew what to make of a white boy who’s “down.” Everything from the n-word to the word “shawty” confused the mess out of me whenever there was a white kid in the group — like, “so who’s giving out passes, how exactly do we verify that this person actually does posses a pass for this language, and why are we letting out trade secrets?”

    The part where Tim talks about intent makes no sense though. That’s all I have to say.

  • Mademoiselle

    I’ll add that I’m long been ready for black folks to stop using it (for endearment or otherwise).

  • Rue.

    “President Kennedy could defuse slurs by using them to describe Jewish, Italian and black people in his cabinet.”
    Of course Kennedy felt that they were “defused”! Now, ask the blacks and Italians in his cabinet how they felt, and I can guarantee they had a different answer. And Kennedy is not that bar foe Racial tolerance in this world or the next. Google the story of Anne Lowe arriving at their door.

  • B.

    SMH. Welcome to the Matrix.

  • http://gravatar.com/deebsooreal deebsooreal

    Googled her name and tried to find the story you speak of about Anne Lowe do you have a link to what you are describing?

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    Not sure why the rule is at all confusing. White people — no matter what, don’t say that word. Seems pretty straight forward. It’s like Simon Says.

  • Lynne

    What really confounds many whites is that this is something they simply cannot do. They cannot use the N-word without consequences.

    This confuses them. Bemuses them.

    To tell them they CAN NOT do something because they’re white feels like an attack on their freedom — a freedom that has brought hell on women and people of color for centuries.

    Plus, as has-been Tim Allen demonstrates, many whites try to overanalyze the issue. How can they use the N-word without consequences, without getting fired or kicked in the junk? Surely there is some way they can use it safely, they like to think.

    And the fact that blacks can use the word, usually without such heavy consequences, tears them up inside.

  • http://gravatar.com/geenababe geenababe

    I am sick of this. Out of all the racial slurs why is this one dissect so much? Why is there all this discussion? I mean other people say their racial slurs in between their groups and I never see people going around asking is it ok if I use those words. I’m over this; I don’t want to hear another non-black person opinion on it. I don’t like the n-word so I don’t say it. Sometimes in rap songs or even R&B if they say it too much I cut off the song. I wish we could let it go but like racism, I don’t think that will ever happen.

  • MimiLuvs

    I had read this article last night. A friend of mine (who is white) was standing behind me, at the time, had also read the article.
    After she finished reading it, she stated “The only type of white person who wants to say ‘ni**er’ is a racist. They want to stop using the ‘P.C. terms’ in reference to black people and say it, publicly, without receiving any negative blow-back from saying the word. They want it to be like how it was, back in the day, when the word ‘ni**er’ and ‘colored’ was used freely. But they can’t and it pisses them off. Of course, they will say that they are not racist. If they weren’t racist, then this whole ‘ni**er’ debate wouldn’t even be on their ‘Stuff I want to talk about’ list.”

  • Cas

    Just out of curiosity. What is a white person supposed to do when they are at a (insert rapper’s name) concert rapping along, and they get to the verse in the song where the N-word is used?

  • Lynne

    Sneeze.

  • Misha

    So when will white people learn that they don’t get an opinion on whether or not the n-word shoud be used. Yes, it’s a terrible word with an even worse histroy but they don’t get to go around giving their two cents on the matter, get over the fact that this is one word that you’re not allowed to say!

  • Sheena

    YES!! That is what I have always thought about this issue. If you truly weren’t racist, you wouldn’t be so pressed to say the word and it wouldn’t even be in your “radar” of topics to hash out or to convince people that it’s okay for white people to say. Just the fact that white people have gotten so pissed that we object to them saying it is proof of racism right there. Thank you!

  • belle

    I believe that Jackie didn’t like that a black woman was designer her wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses. Also the dresses were destroyed and she redid them and I don’t think she was properly thanked for the clothes she designed

  • The Comment

    ….. It’s very confusing to the European mind how that works,…

    Dude! You are so far from having a European mind. Keep it real. You are at the bottom of your game and clearly benefit from racsim. You appeal to corny ass white people and make $$$$. Just leave well enough alone.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    This! Some white people are protesting too much when it comes to this word, so they are telling on themselves. They would NOT be quick to use other slurs towards others but they are practically salivating to use this one and trying to find excuses and reasoning too. The truth is white people GET IT but they don’t care, so they can miss me with the “I’ am so confused on this issues, my European mind doesn’t work…, etc. etc.”

  • Kisha

    I need all white people in the public eye to have a seat and be quiet for a good month. Perhaps if they shut thier mouths it will give thier brain enough time to catch up!!

  • Google It

    Who uses an out-of-date Webster’s dictionary, anyway? Tim Allen feels like he can speak on the term because he used to be a drug dealer, which I guess makes him an honorary n***er.

  • Rue.

    Oops. Everything that belle said. The story I was referring to says that she showed up at either Bouvier’s or the oh so liberal Kennedy household to deliver the finished dress that she had labored day and night to finish after her studio flooded and the original was destroyed. They told her that she would have to go around the back because black people couldn’t come through the front door. She told them that if she had to set foot in the back door, the bride would walk down the aisle without a dress. Door busted open immediately.

  • Rue.

    Argle-Bargle. i don’t know if my original comment was posted but here’s the second round: She showed up at either the Kennedy’s or the Bouvier’s to drop of the dresses that she had labored day and night to complete after the originals were destroyed when her studio flooded. They told her to go around the back because a black person wasn’t allowed through the front door, so she told them that if she had to walk through a back door, Jackie would have to walk down the aisle without her dress. They opened the door immediately.

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