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Over the last few months, I have had a little bug on my shoulder concerning the negative comments and feedback about Beyonce’s daughter Blue Ivy’s hair upkeep.

I’ll be honest and admit that I am always very amused by celebrity memes and roasts. There’s a guilty pleasure I think many of us have when we see people who are usually praised and worshiped like gods being shamed like the rest of us for fashion, makeup mistakes and weight gain.

To me, those things say, “Hey, they’re rich and gorgeous, but they dress bad and take embarrassing photos just like everyone else.” It’s an ounce of hope when we’re all brainwashed into thinking that Hollywood is a magical world where everything and everyone is perfect, even if they pay to look that way.

However, recently there is one joke in particular that keeps reinventing itself on the Internet that has been not so funny to me, and that joke is baby Blue Ivy Carter’s hair.

I’ve seen people saying things like, “Beyonce always keeps her hair looking tight, why is she letting her baby look like she doesn’t love her?” and, “Beyonce is rich, she needs to do something with that baby’s hair!” — or even stuff like, “Blue Ivy looks a mess her hair is just the worst,” “She needs some bows or braids,” and, “Why does she let her baby go out looking like that?”

I’m not sure if it’s because everyone just expects the offspring of queen Bey to be flawless from the cradle to the grave or the fact that people are so obsessed with hair, be it on a baby’s head or an adult. Whatever the reason, I am not amused at all.

Every time someone makes a rude comment I find myself in an internal boxing match trying to keep myself from going into a full-on rage-filled rant. I often times just want to virtually shake people and tell them to shut the hell up, grow up and leave that adorable child’s hair alone.

This might have something to do with the fact that I have a 16-month-old daughter whose hair looks pretty much identical to Blue’s.

I don’t “do” my daughter’s hair either, I wash it and occasionally detangle but that’s about it. Most days her hair is just a curly fluff and others it’s a mangled fluff.

She’s a baby, is she supposed to be just flipping around a head full of luscious tresses at 18 months? I’m sorry that I don’t feel it necessary to snatch my baby bald trying to squeeze the little hair she does have into some tight braids and rubber bands to appease other people, while she’s screaming and crying her eyes out.

My daughter’s hair is (on a good day) just clean. There’s nothing manicured or neat about it; it’s a head of fluffy hair that just sits there. I don’t think it needs to be pleasing to anyone’s eye at this point — who is my baby trying to impress? Her hair is clean and, more importantly, it’s healthy.

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Apparently even babies don’t get a pass when it comes to the politics of “good hair.” Fun fact: When I was a baby, my mother used to shave my head into a low cut. I was walking around serving up Amber Rose baldness way before it was popular. It was my mother’s way of keeping my hair manageable and acceptable while not murdering my scalp every three days.

What’s wrong with letting a baby be a baby?

Women have to focus more on teaching young girls to appreciate themselves for who they are. Hair and makeup should not be the concern of any little girl, especially before they can even form a sentence. But since we are so interested in children’s hair, why not boycott kiddy relaxers and texturizers? Why not boycott the false sense of security that women place on things that are not a natural part of who they are?

My daughter will know and love who she is and one thing that will never make or break her is her hair. Anyone who has an issue with my child’s “unkempt” hair can kick rocks, and that should stand for adults as well. There is nothing at all wrong with letting your child just be and be happy.

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XOJane

This post originally appeared on XOJane. Republished with permission. Click here for more
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  • L

    I totaLLY agree with this article. I think its ridiculous to insult a baby’s hair but I get side eyes when my infant daughter wears her fro. correct me if im wrong, but doesn’t keeping a baby’s hair loose and free help prevent breakage. it seems a baby’s scalp would be very sensitive.

  • MimiLuvs

    IMO, most of the “Blue Ivy-hair” comments are thinly veiled “good hair-bad hair” comments.
    It reminds me of the “You should do your hair” comments that a woman (with un-relaxed hair) receives.

  • Blue

    No one’s insulting Blue Ivy or this child’s hair. It’s not like the kid can grab a comb & do it themselves. the are commenting on the parent’s lack for the child’s hair. There are plenty of things you can do with a kid’s hair without damaging it no matter what the texture is. Don’t give me that

  • Phillygurl

    Children should be off limits. I know a lot of parents who are just happy to get their little one to sit still long enough to run a comb through it. There will be plenty of time to torture them with y’alls grooming rituals later.

  • http://parentingbytheseatofmypants.wordpress.com greendoondoon

    I think what I admire about Beyonce and JayZ is that for all of their money, their daughter looks like a baby. She is not dressed in silly clothes, she is not overstyled, she looks like she plays and has fun. Why does a baby need to be photoshoot fresh? My daughter hates anything done to her hair so other than brushing it and putting in the odd ponytail or lopsided pigtails, I leave it alone. She’s 20 months old. The author’s baby looks happy and loved– I noticed her beautiful smile before I noticed her perfectly lovely hair.

  • AnnT

    I also I think the problem is that since Beyonce doesn’t keep her in a more natural state when she’s “present” and performing, people expect her to snatch her daughter’s in the same manner. Her hair stays long, straight, and blonde so people kind of expect Blue Ivy’s hair to reflect her Mother’s persona.

    Think about it, if Solange had a girl, and she left her baby’s hair free and unencumbered, would anyone bat an eye?

  • Velociraptor

    The world would be a better place if people stopped providing un-solicited advice. It doesn’t matter the subject, I’m just tired of hearing opinions no one asked for.

  • Yb

    Yup. Some people actually have the nerve to be surprised and angry that a baby with two black parents would have kinky coily hair. What a disappointment the Creole genes didnt wipe that away *sarcasm*

    These are same people praying North West doesn’t get darker over time or that her hair doesn’t curl up.

  • MimiLuvs

    @Blue

    One) I’ve read comments from other blogs (from blogs that caters to black Americans) in which readers insult Blue Ivy’s hair, so yeah, it does happen.

    Two) Just because you believe comments like “Beyonce should do something with Blue Ivy’s hair…” isn’t an insult doesn’t mean that other readers don’t consider it to be an insult. Hell’s Bells, if Beyonce gave a sh*t about the anonmynous people, she probably would’ve considered it a diss.
    Sh*t, let’s keep it real…
    If a non-black celebrity (sh*t, this is the n****nets we’re talking about… it could’ve been a black male celebrity) said a comment (similiar) about Blue Ivy’s hair, you don’t think black Twitter wouldn’t have read that person for filth?

  • http://www.lillian-mae.com Knotty Natural

    RE: the are commenting on the parent’s lack for the child’s hair.

    What?!?! I wish I understood what you’re trying to say, but I’ll respond to what I think you’re trying to say…

    That baby’s hair is beautiful, just the way they keep it!

  • lw

    I actually find it endearing that Blue’s hair is wild and free. I bet Beyonce feels chained to her blonde and the weave. A lot of folk clowned her for the super short “cut”, and she didn’t keep it even for one performance. Now the weave is getting long again, and even more blonde. It must be somewhat stifling to always be weighed down by all that dang fake hair.

  • Guest1234

    Black folks are a trip. I had no idea that folks actually try to do an infant’s hair. Or that folks think you NEED to try to do an infant’s hair. I wouldn’t even know how to do that! I guess that’s why folks are out there selling baby wigs. Damn shame. Black folk need to just stoppit with all that foolishness.

  • Natalie B.

    Blue Ivy has edges for days! Some of these people offering unsolicited advice on how the baby should have “something done” to her head probably have receded hairlines and split ends themselves. Personally, I hate seeing a little baby with one million barrettes, bows and the like in their little head. Keeping hair cleaned, moisturized and detangled is enough at that age.

  • JS

    I agree with the article for the most part but I think that parents should try to keep their baby’s hair “neat.” I don’t walk out of the house with my hair looking “mangled” so I would never let my child’s hair get to “mangled fluff” status. You don’t need any fancy creams, oils, hair bands, or anything. Just use a gentle brush, some oil and when necessary, trimming scissors. The problem I saw with Blue Ivy’s hair is it looked like it never got that much consideration. It looked uneven and at its worst dry and matted. Nothing to do with texture types although I am sure some of the negative criticism comes from the baby not having silky straight hair.

    While I do think our society put ridiculous standards on children, maturing them way sooner than needed, there is nothing maturing about keeping up good hygiene (excepting having the sense to do it). Part of good hygiene is keeping up your hair and making sure its healthy. I would not categorize “mangled fluff” as healthy.

  • http://gravatar.com/geenababe geenababe

    I’m glad there was a post done about this because everything I go on another blog and there is story with Blue Ivy feature in it. It’s always some people talking about that baby’s hair. Saying it needs to be comb or whatever else they think about doing to it. It’s very annoying how obsessed some people are with hair.

  • London

    Thank you for this article. I will have my fiance and mother-in-law read this. They are always trying to twist my daughter’s hair up in some crazy style for the sake of it being “done”. I am worried that the constant pulling and combing will cause traction alopecia. She’s only 19 months old and she looks cuter in an afro anyway.

  • Laura Charles

    What a beautiful baby girl you have! Her hair is fine… so is Blue Ivy’s.

    They are babies so I’m not exactly sure what people are expecting. Why put them through the torture of having to sit still for their hair to be “styled”? They have decades ahead of them to worry about that. A wash and go is just fine. As long as their healthy and happy babies, that is all that matters.

    To hell with people and their judgement trying to project their self-esteem issues onto children.

  • shay

    Umm sorry but you need to do your babies hair too. I had less hair than her as a baby and my mom at least combed it out and put a bonnet on it.its not about doing your own thing.Its about not letting your baby’s hair mat and dry up lookin like a sheeps behind.

  • Ms. Vee

    Let the children be children. As long as the hair is clean, moisturized and gently maintained there should be no long, strenuous process that involves the massacre of the edges. Just don’t allow the childs head to be a dried up lint collector that looks like a confused afro/dreadlock hybrid (im quite sure we’ve seen parents that have taken it that far).

  • Deb

    Maybe one day you’ll get that different people have different ideas of when their hair is done. Just because (white supremacist) society has dictated what is “done” hair does not mean everyone agrees with it.

    Notice you never notice these sort of comments with children who have straight hair. If its curly/kinky, you gotta do something with it beyond washing and moisturizing.

    This is posed at all who think like you..If it’s not posing a danger to you, your loved ones and society, what is the problem again?

  • victoria

    She is beautiful. (photos)

  • Angelique212

    Your baby is so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • https://www.facebook.com/kelley.johnson.75436 Kelley Johnson

    The uproar about Blue Ivy’s hair reminds me so much of what happened to Gabby Douglas. Random idiots make nasty comments about a black child’s hair on twitter and message boards. And then people who claim to be taking up for those children, elevate the hateful comments from twitter and the message boards, by writing about what the idiots said, giving their hate a greater platform than the could have imagined.

    The fact is, Blue Ivy is an baby and she should not be written about. Period. Her mother is the superstar. The child is not and should not be used to further anyone’s agenda, well meaning or not.

    Like Gabby Douglas, nasty comments about Blue Ivy’s hair is a thing now, because black bloggers have chosen to use the opinions of random idiots as a way to get some clicks, as if any of you have the right to sit and discuss this baby’s looks. Y’all are ALL wrong.

  • http://gravatar.com/personasocks pErSoNa

    My problem is not with the girl, and it’s not because Blue Ivy’s hair is a bush instead of braided- I like afro hair- hell, my hair’s usually in an afro. It’s the fact that it’s sticking out in all directions and it’s uneven. She’s just a baby, though. It’s her mom who is the problem. Beyonce has been wearing weave for so long that I doubt she knows how to properly care for her daughter’s own hair, and since Blue Ivy is too young for a perm or hot comb, she is at a loss of what to do. Black women have babies with kinky hair, so they should learn how to do the hair of children with afrotexture if they’re planning on having one.

  • Ads

    The point is no baby is on this earth to entertain and delight onlookers. She’s a human being whose only jobs are to eat, grown, discover, learn, and love. That’s really all any of us need to do (after 18, add pay ur bills.) i’m 31 and i dont owe it to anyone to look cute. We need to kill this idea that our humanity is dependent on our beauty or aesthetics. Chalk this one up to the Princess Industrial Complex.

  • Jillybean

    Zahara, Gabby, then Tiana, now Blue. When will attacking black girls get old?!

    LEAVE. OUR. GIRLS. ALONE.

  • JS

    I get where shay is coming from. I think the same way as in Blue Ivy’s hair looks dry and matted. It’s not about spending hours and hours of time on a baby’s hair but ANYONE from ANY race if they just “wash & go” without taking time to moisturize, comb through and trim uneven/split ends will look like a hot mess. In every pic I have seen of Blue Ivy her hair has always looked dry and uneven.

    I grew up in a predominately white neighborhood and I have seen plenty parents disregard their childs hair to where it is lice ridden and greasy looking with split ends. Not to deflect from the large issue in society of black hair = bad hair, but plenty white folks kids have bad looking hair too.

  • JS

    Totally agree. Even though I straighten my hair now when I was younger I wore an afro puff. My mom kept my hair on point. Always even, always looking moist and I never had problems with dandruff or tangles.

    Here is something I find funny though. While in other “black hair care” threads there is all this talk of “how to care for black hair to keep it healthy” and different techniques. Why would people think then on this article caring for a baby’s hair would be any different? It’s common knowledge you need to at minimum moisturize, brush/comb everyday, trim split ends and wash accordingly and this is for any hair type to maintain healthy hair. Why all this fuss about noticing Blue Ivy is clearing lacking in this?

  • http://parentingbytheseatofmypants.wordpress.com greendoondoon

    Who cares? What difference does it make that her hair is uneven– it’s just growing in? Why should it be braided up to please other people? She looks just fine.
    Oh by the way, not all black women have babies with kinky hair. My aunt didn’t and my daughter does not have one kink in her hair. Take your concern-trolling elsewhere and focus on your own children. If you don’t like Blue Ivy’s hair, don’t look at it.

  • Marisa

    I bet if Beyoncé ran a pressing comb on that baby hair all the hair haters would come out in force then too. People just love to run their mouths about EVERYTHING these days, it doesn’t have to make a lick of sense see. new Miss America as this weeks example.

    The same ones talking about Blue Ivy and Gabby Douglass hair, are the same ones that want to write essays about Black women too shallow about straight hair, and lecture about the evil of wigs and weaves. Also same with your baby who is adorbs. The fact Blue Ivy whose an infant got grown ass adults constantly pressed is hilarious to me.

  • Ads

    My daughter is 1 and still bald! And she’s happy, well-fed, and learning every day. Man…im tearing up now…. My girl was 5wks early and spent 10 days in nicu. Not only is she the most perfect thing my eyes and heart have ever beheld, but ANYONE who felt her ‘look’ wasn’t appealing to then could go choke on the fattest of d1cks as we keep on moving. This obsession with arbitrary beauty standards, this dictatorship that even infants adhere to it is truly infuriating. Man there are babies who are sick, who are abused, who are hungry…. Anyone with sh1t to talk about a baby should shove their own head up their a$$ and leave society in peace.

  • Ads

    The question is why?? If thats the case, why not eyelash extensions or a diamond grill? Why is the hair and face and body created by God some how not good enough for u?

  • http://gravatar.com/missinformation7 Ms. Information

    Those cheeks!!!

  • True_Indigo

    XOJane, your baby is so cute, love the pic with the two of you.

  • Lola289

    Just wanna say that usually “bald” babies get the most hair, BUT irregardless she would still be beautiful either way. :)

  • chinaza

    Beautiful child. Love that healthy, natural hair on both mother and daughter.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    Your daughter is adorable with her hair as is and so is Blue Ivy. The whole “she needs to comb her baby’s hair” is another symptom of white supremacy because it is another way of saying either you don’t have or produced babies with “good hair” becauuse lets be real if black babies like Blue had wavy or curly hair those critics wouldn’t say anything or black women and girls aren’t beautiful in their natural state or unacceptable so conform to an acceptable appearance….which leads to moms slapping a perm on their daughter’s hair prematurely which led to the cycle of us not knowing not only to take care of our own hair but not loving/appreciating it. It is sad that people are pushing their issues on babies who couldn’t care less about hair at all.

  • Luisa

    Beyonce is a grown woman. How does the way she decides to style her hair as an adult have any bearing on how she should style her baby’s? Just because she’s straightening, dying, curling or whatever, doesn’t mean her daughter can’t wear her hair the way it grows naturally on her head. I’m so sick of black folks being the “hair police” (lbr it’s mostly fellow black people who are commenting on her baby’s hair). So just because Beyonce wears her hair a certain way, that automatically means it’s okay for people to drag her because her baby’s hair isn’t up to their standards or whatever other arbitrary standards they think she has to live up to based on the way she wears her own hair?

  • JS

    You obviously are way to quick to jump to conclusions, the original poster never said it should be braided, she said she preferred the afro style.

    It’s not concern trolling to point out the obvious.

  • http://parentingbytheseatofmypants.wordpress.com greendoondoon

    I am so happy that your baby pulled through and is now a healthy, happy, beautiful (I don’t need to see her; I know she is beautiful) toddler. I can’t add anything else to your post because you said it all.

  • http://gravatar.com/yesimthatleah Yes, I’m That Leah

    It’s a shame. Most of these people on here saying that there’s nothing wrong with Blue Ivy’s hair, would never walk around with their child looking that way. If their friends child’s head looked that way, they would be upset…..
    It’s a very NATURAL thing to feel a little pissed when you see a mother’s hair and nails done up, and then see her child….looking unkept. So, why are people shocked that Beyonce is getting this reaction? I’m not picking on Blue at all, but I do see that Blue’s hair looks dry,and either wild or matted most of the time. There’s nothing wrong with some leave in conditioner and pure olive oil or organic coconut oil. A bow in the front or side of Blue’s hair would be so pretty. A baby head band would also suffice. Come on people….. Can we at least acknowledge where the concern is coming from, and not turn a blind eye because it’s Beyonce’s baby?

    I just saw Beyonce pull a publicity stunt by wearing a short wig. That shows you where her priorities are……. People notice this kind of stuff. Beyonce puts herself out there.

    If you’re going sport an Afro style , do it properly. That’s where the outcry is stemming from.

  • http://gravatar.com/yesimthatleah Yes, I’m That Leah

    I mentioned the wig stunt and the short bob style for a reason. Beyonce pays much attention to her hair. How many pictures of herself did she release with these hair styles? It rubs people the wrong way to see her doing that, and then see her baby’s hair looking a mess.

    I am a mom, and I totally understand the outcry.

  • Rhonda L.

    Looking at the hair of the baby and the adult in the pic here, I’m not surprised she would write this. Nothing wrong with having moisturized well maintained hair. That doesn’t mean a bunch of tight ponytails but it doesn’t have to be all over your head when you’re posting public pictures either.

  • AnnT

    Umm, ma’am. I’ve giving perspective to the uproar of why people are acting this way, not agreeing to the backlash. I don’t see anything wrong with Blue Ivy’s hair….

  • Luisa

    I’m not accusing you of anything so no need to ma’am me. I’m barely 22 years old. Lol. I’m just pointing out the flawed logic behind people (whoever they are) expecting Beyonce to style her infant daughter’s hair a certain way just because she doesn’t wear ~natural styles. Beyonce is a grown woman. Blue Ivy is a baby. The way Beyonce chooses to style her hair (as a grown woman) should have no bearing on how the baby’s hair is styled. I just don’t see why anyone would make that connection, as it doesn’t make much sense to me.

  • http://twitter.com/MeMySelfnNesey Nesey (@MeMySelfnNesey)

    How is saying that a mother should groom her child related to white supremacy? If she was blonde haired and blue eyes, the hair would still need to be done. This has nothing to do with it being straight/curly, its a matter of self presentation. Would you walk out the house with bed-hair?

  • Mr. Man

    First off your baby is beautiful it brought a smile to me instantly, just precious.
    Me personally, for myself and mine i have no issue with unkempt baby hair or anyone’s for that matter…..note: when at home. I grew up with four sisters, a very proud and strong black woman with a man who stood with great pride (my Parants), they always taught us that anytime we walk out of the house
    We’re to look presentable, dignified, clean and respectable, no excuse. You don’t have to be a fashion statement to be neat and well arranged that includes our heads. Look like you actually care about youself rather than not.
    That’s how I was taught and I will forever be greatful for such practical training. I refuse to lower my and or my children’s outdoor presentation standards just because our society does due to it being the new liberating ‘it’ thing to do. All that said, In addition to my babies hair being clean and healthy, her hair style is also going to reflect the love I have for her.

  • MommieDearest

    YES!! This right here.

    Some folks have too much time on their hands and need to get a life. *smh*

  • MommieDearest

    “These are same people praying North West doesn’t get darker over time or that her hair doesn’t curl up.”

    You ain’t NEVA lied! I bet they’ve already checked her ears and finger joints. :-/

  • Ms.Vee

    Why are so many people attributing groomed natural hair to white supremacy? Are we really going to give whites credit for combed afros, fresh cornrows and twists? If blue Ivy’s parents or this mother decided to give their babies two afro puffs with braided beads in the front is that conforming to white supremacy??? C’mon now. Natural does not equal neglect and groomed does not equal white standard. That beautiful little girl is a baby so its all good right now. Leave her be and keep it moisturized/clean. But when she comes of age give her some cute natural styles. Walking around with permanent bed head is not sexy no matter what race you are.

  • JS

    THANK YOU.

    Check any other natural Black haircare article on this site and there will be numerous tips on how to care, moisturize and keep up Black hair. Why would this be any different for a child?

  • Cocochanel31

    Who are we to police someone else’s child?

    With that said my mother always had my hair fried ( well not fried when a baby) died and laid to to side..no matter what age I was and I am grateful!

  • Lola289

    She has her ENTIRE life to think about her hair…but I am an advocate for baby hairbands. Even if she does take it off! :)

  • http://www.lillian-mae.com Knotty Natural

    Seems to me it is ‘our girls’ who are attacking one another!

  • http://www.lillian-mae.com Knotty Natural

    I completely agree! I hope Beyonce allows baby Blue’s hair to go the way of Solange! Although I do believe the child will be affected by always seeing her mother in a long blonde weave…

  • http://www.lillian-mae.com Knotty Natural

    YES! Baby Blue could teach some of these women a thing or two maintaining their heads!

  • sunshinehaze

    Using Blue Ivy as a scapegoat; chile I guess.

  • Blue

    Who said said you had to perm or hot comb the kids hair. Nothing is wrong with wearing your natural texture toddler or adult. But there are baby barrettes, hair holders, twist, hand bands, afro puffs, braids, twist etc & cute little things that can be done to maintain & at least make it look like you tried to groom the child. I think you natural nazi’s took it the wrong way ijs

  • ads

    @greendoondoon – thank you about not having to see her bc that is EXACTLY the point. in fact, people constantly stop us to say what a “pretty princess” or “beautiful little doll” she is, and i while i say thanks, i think soon she is going to be old enough to realize people talk about PHYSICAL APPEARANCE all day. I try so hard to tell her she is so brave when she tries to walk without holding on, so strong when she falls and doesn’t cry, and so smart when she gets to the potty. My BFF looks better than most supermodels you will ever meet, and is miserable, and doesn’t know her own value. My heart breaks that I will have to teach my daughter everyday that just because she is a woman she owes no one beauty, cuteness, a smile or anything. Her body is hers to do with as she pleases, and her value comes from her heart, her mind, and her deeds. This world swirling with unequal pay, domestic violence, street harassment, girls gone wild, all of this is a world that tells girls their worth comes from what others deem their beauty. It is a lie that SOMEONE is capitalizing off of, and it sure as hell aint women and girls.

  • https://www.facebook.com/benita.hannah.3 Benita Marie Hannah

    I agree. This response is probably the best out of anything that’s written here. I have natural hair and I’m proud but I also believe that just because your hair is natural that doesn’t make you exempt from actually doing your hair. A nicely shaped Afro or head band is cute and simple. So far all the comments are on extreme opposites of the spectrum. Natural hair is beautiful and just like any other type of hair it needs to be kept and groomed too. On the other hand I have seen women with gorgeous relaxed hair too. I’m not in anyway suggesting Blue any other baby needs relaxed hair.

  • Coccohanel31

    Basically! If you rarely comb the child’s hair it will become tangle and matted resulting in worse damage and more pain! Brush the child’s head..sheesh!

  • Humanista

    This would make sense if Blue Ivy was 3 or 5 or 10. But as a *baby* there is literally NO NEED to style the hair-only to keep it from falling out. Not to mention, trying to get a child who can barely understand the commands “stop”, “wait” and “sit still” to cooperate with styling is madness and has a low ROI (see: rolling and pulling and other baby activities).

    Talking about a baby “sporting” ANYthing “properly” is just… absurd.

  • Child, Please

    I hope the daughters of the Shaniquas, Shays, and LaQuans get this same level if rep because it seems only celeb children, namely Blue Ivy and Willow Smith get defended this much. It always irks me that people will cape for certain celebs, but an everyday person won’t get a pass.

    SN: I wonder how many articles were written denouncing folks calling Bobbi Kristina a crack baby; I’m guessing not many.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    And who said I equated natural hair as being ungroomed…I wait. Just because her hair isn’t in a defined style doesn’t mean it isn’t moisturize or well maintained.

  • julie

    is baby hair seriously an issue? I thought most people were just happy their baby had hair,

  • JS

    @binks
    “she needs to comb her baby’s hair” is another symptom of white supremacy”

    “Comb/ing” is pretty synonymous to “grooming”. It’s not that you think natural hair is ungroomed, but that response is overly defensive. The connotation there is every time someone says to groom natural hair they mean to whitewash it and there actually isn’t a grooming problem with the hair.

    I am not saying that white washing of black hair isn’t a problem because there is a multimillion dollar industry based on it. However its a pretty defensive assumption to assume comb is synonymous for relaxing, straightening, etc.

  • apollokelis

    No wonder people think that Blacks suck… and I am Black also. The world is falling down around us and many are concerned about Beyonce’s baby not wearing a fucking blonde wig every time she steps out the GOD DAMN house with her mother. So what? What is wrong with Black people? We have no creativity… no interest in world news… our communities look like garbage cans and our children know the latest songs and dumbass cheesy fashion while they fall behind in school. Get a life people! The world is leaving us behind!

  • Silly

    I have a 17 month old daughter, and I would not let her go out without her hair done i.e., braids,twists, or ponytails. I’ve been natural for over 7 years, and I know to grow hair: moisturize and detangle. I can’t believe people are trying to justify not doing a baby’s hair. That is ridiculous. Would you go out without your hair done?

  • http://parentingbytheseatofmypants.wordpress.com greendoondoon

    Good for you. Personally, I can’t understand why anyone would want to braid or twist a 17 month old’s hair, but I don’t judge people that do. You do your child’s hair how you want and don’t worry about what other people do.

  • Deb

    there are adults walking around with clean, moisturized hair but because its not styled in way that is enough for most people, it’s called bed head. I don’t think anyone is saying that a parent should not take care of their child’s hair in terms of washing and conditioning. Noone is talking about those extremes but if after that is done, the parent (not due to laziness but choice) wants to let the kid wear a freestyle hairstyle, then what’s the problem. Like I said, kids with straight hair walk around with hair washed, conditioned but not heavilymanipulated or with bows, ribbons, etc and noone makes a complaint.

    Our hair does by fit into straight hair standards and GOD FORBID a person let it hang free. Their hair automatically unkempt even if its well cared for. Some people don’t want to fit into the mold and people will always judge and make assumptions. It’s what we do best.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    @JS

    And I get that but there is also an assumption going on in thinking that just because a baby’s hair is not in a defined style then it is not groomed. A lot of people jumped to the assumption that this baby, Blue Ivy or any other baby hair must not be moisturized or properly taken care of because it isn’t in braids, twists, puffs, or whatever. Maybe these mothers want their kids to sport an undefined wash and go until their hair grows or when they are old enough to sit still to do define styles but I wouldn’t necessarily jump to the idea that this mother doesn’t care about her child’s hair or not properly taking care of it. Furthermore, I should have clarified my statement when I personally hear people saying “she should comb that baby’s hair” it is usually a slight against the child natural hair texture and not necessarily because it shows a lack of grooming or proper care. So I get that my statement might be overly defensive to those who might not think that way but my comment wasn’t directed to them but those who do think like that and show the correlation to their thought process.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    Agreed! You said what I was thinking perfectly. I think people are equaling grooming to having a define style and not just proper hair care. Of course I wouldn’t give white people credit for our iconic styles (I would side eye the hell out of them if they did) but like you said why can’t our BABIES have the luxury on having groomed condition hair but wearing it free style? I know someone is going to say, black people can’t do what white people do but I think that I a lame reasoning.

  • http://gravatar.com/savemeuniverse makeupjunkie

    i agree…you can do what you want with your baby but really leave other people alone, it’s her kid she can do what she wants even though it looks ‘unkempt’ to you it’s a freaking baby get over it,, she’s not in a beauty pagent, why’re you so obsessed with the outside look

  • Pema

    I didn’t start “doing” my daughter’s hair until she was two years old mainly because she wouldn’t sit still and I didn’t want to tug/yank her tender scalp. Her hair was always clean and moisturized but nope it didn’t have a bunch of barettes, twists, parts, etc. Honestly she went outside looking like Blue Ivy or sometimes she had two pig tails. Seriously it’s not a big deal. At four years old the child now has hair that is down the middle of her back. I really do not understand black folks’ obsession with other black folks’ hair upkeep. If you like to twist, pull, or style your child’s hair great but what’s for you is not necessarily for other people.

  • Mr. Man

    I think this generation is lazy as all get out! There are absolutely no excuses for letting your child who doesn’t know any better look like a Little uncared for person! Whether you are rich or poor have some dignity about yourself and your child….that is called common sense! But in this world full of no morals and do what you want to do, that is to be expected! Maybe one day people will have some pride about themselves. Wash it comb it put a hat or headband on it. No tight braids or rubber bands required!!! What do you think!!!!

  • pvo

    this is where i disagree. when white families adopt blk kids or white moms have biracial kids, black people make it a sport of criticizing their lack of skill with black hair. if we’re going to do that then t is only fair to make the same judgements towards black mothers and fathers who neglect to comb their child’s hair. not all styles hurt the kid. sometimes it is as simple as a bow or head band.

  • https://www.facebook.com/synthia.l.rose Synthia L. Rose

    It’s so pathetic that some people suggest that any grooming will lead to a baby going “bald.” How ignorant. It is unhealthy to let hair matte up. HOwever, since this writer’s mom apparently could think of no other solution than to shave a baby’s head (!!!), I guess the lack of grooming know-how runs in the family.

    I’m thankful that when I was growing up, black parents knew how to properly groom their kids. Today, some people act like the only choice is completely abandoning hair grooming or groom and make the baby bald. Where did we go wrong? (Oh…by introducing weaves and wigs, now far too many black women are helpless regarding grooming of real hair. SMH).

    By the way, you can still leave the baby’s hair loose, but still groom, style it and make it presentable. Learn people!

  • https://www.facebook.com/synthia.l.rose Synthia L. Rose

    You’re wasting your time. No one is wanting Blue Ivy to wear a blonde wig. You sound ignorant.

  • Chinasworld

    There is nothing wrong with adding bows and barrettes to little girls hair. It’s all about effort and it looks like you put nothing into yours. And, Beyoncé the same. Bows do not equate to tension. You just look lazy. Kelly did say Beyoncé was a slob…but, she gets a pass as she has a “lot” on her mind. What is your excuse?

  • http://vintagedoll.tumblr.com shanti j

    I like your story but I dont agree. if you can walk out the house with your hair all fly why not fix up your babies. no one is asking for her to look like shes in a beauty pageant or wearing long tresses but u can make her look like a little girl and not some rough rider. thats like feeding yourself half the pie and u still have a family to feed. how are u gonna hook yourself up and let the other just go on. looks kinda taky. still respect u and bey but she could brush it a bit. when blue ivy.grows up and sees the pictures she will be asking the same thing. ” why does your hair look so nice and I look crazy!!?”

  • Straight Up

    I think we don’t let our babies’ hair uncombed because we have an inherent fear of nappy hair. if white kids can have their hair out, why can’t a little black girl. Why do you have to put a million barrettes in the babies’ hair?

  • Straight Up

    Who determines what is presentable? White influenced idea of what is presentable?

  • https://plus.google.com/102426889694490248529 Erickka Sy Savané

    I think the black community is way too judgmental when it comes to how our kids hair should be combed. And sadly I was this way too back in the day. I made judgments especially when it came to seeing mixed kids with white moms whose hair was what I considered ‘all over the place.’ Now i have two girls and I want them to wear their hair free and I can feel the stares coming from black women. I’m learning to dismiss it and let me girl’s hair be. Because for one, when I pick their hair out I don’t want to run behind them with a comb and brush all day trying to make it all ‘neat’. They both have thick hair that does its own thing no sooner than
    i finish brushing it. And two, I don’t want to do things because of peer pressure. My girls’ hair will be nappy and free and anyone who doesn’t like it can look the other way.
    Oh, and that’s another thing. I think most black women who are neat-hair-nazis feel that way because of how they think it looks to white people. And the truth is most white people actually like ethnic, afro hair. They envy the freedom of what our hair can do.

  • Elise

    Exactly…why let the child hair get matted and tangled only to cause more pain and hair lost to the child when u do decide to comb it out(which seems like never)…
    She’s a little girl..her hair should be presentable; she can’t do it herself so that’s where mom comes in…has nothing to do with black or white ugh

  • SK

    1001 barettes and braids,if done with too much tension, can cause traction baldness.
    Whats wrong with a lil faux hawk, it’s a style albeit no everyones. It’s manageable & fun
    good option for those with coarse or unruly hair.

  • Haven

    Thank you for this. I was specifically searching for somewhere to vent my rage about this. All I can think when I read those disgusting, misguided comments on Bey’s pictures is… “what is wrong with you people?” She’s a baby girl! There is no correlation what so ever to how much Blue’s parents love her and how her hair is styled (or rather, not!) It’s nice to see it all cute and fuzzy. It’s beautiful. What is wrong with people making all those insane comments? Is she meant to have a weave as a toddler? Waaaat.

  • Concerned

    Black women are obsessed with hair and not physical activity and health. When you have a complete physical the doctor does not check your hair. Ladies, this is Breast Cancer month. Please have a mammogram if you are of the age. God bless.

  • playbunny

    First thing hair can be “done” gently
    Secondly – your mother shouldn’t have shaved off your baby hair, it changes texture, sometimes for the worst.
    Your arguments are weak, and doesn’t make sense.
    It is possible that their may be a medical reason
    But chances are due to the curls it’s hard for the comb to go through which causes pain to the baby’s scalp which an elastic headband with bows could solve.
    Basically, I hope Blue doesn’t grow up and be embarrassed of her pictures floating around the internet

  • myuhhhh_

    her baby has hair that looks better than blue ivy’s anyways…..

  • Bre

    I don’t think it’s the fact that women are obsessed with hair. But in my personal opinion, hair lotion and a cute headband never hurts.

  • jennifer

    you all are CRAZY we are not taking about perms and weaves we are talking about getting a comb and brush and some bows!!!!! I have four little girls and I do there hair and when I finish it looks like they stepped out of the salon. I don’t give damn about no white people and what the hell they think that was a dumb ass comment. going natural and just never combing your kids hair is two different things. and to the one who said something about the braids which I don’t do braids anyway but what the hell you think will happen to the hair if you never comb the hair its going to get matted and break off and become damaged. I comb my kids hair because it should be comb they are a reflection of me I am going to make sure my kids look nice! I am not worldly or a follower I don’t do whats in but my goodness whats the big things with doing hair!!!!!! blue ivy is a pretty little girl but DAMN she looks crazy on every picture!!!!! I cant believe I wasted my time on this stupid subject

  • nina

    She cute but she need her hair done to you don’t get no pass lmfao

  • Lisa Harris

    I agree with the lady ur hair will break if never comb nothing wrong for ur baby to look nice n like a girl

  • Frosting

    As an artist I love a head full of wild, healthy, kinky hair, even if it’s a little matted. However, I’ve learned that others do not feel the same. Several years ago I went natural, at first my hair was so short, there was little to no trouble. As my tresses began to grow, my mane began to suffer. People treat you poorly when they feel you’re not groomed. I don’t make the rules, I just have to follow them. Sometimes you have to conform to certain standards. Right now I still have my hair natural ( after wearing it straight). I put my hair in plats every evening then roll it. The results are beautiful. I’m looking for an alternative because all that rolling is stunting the grow of hair. But do what you have to do.

    Also, ( sorry just thought of this example) I had a terrible emergency wher I was rushed to the hospital. My hair was matted because I’d been sick for several days and couldn’t stand in the shower long enough to de tangle it. I took a bath though. So don’t worry. Anyway, when I got to the hospital the black female nurses made fun of me. They laughed at my hair even though I was really sick and in pain. They dumped me in the middle of the waiting room, where I couldn’t sit down. I was crying. My pants were falling down because I just threw something together so I could go to the hospital. I could barely walk. I told the doctors I was in so much pain and needed a wheelchair, they wouldn’t give me one. I had to walk. No one helped me. I don’t know if they thought I was on drugs, or they didn’t like my hair. Even some people sitting in the emergency room waiting laughed at me. ……………….people are very cruel. Maybe Beyonce should comb her babies hair.

  • Osha

    wow i’m sorry this happened to you but those women were being petty. even if your hair had been something they would have deemed “fly” they would have found something else to tease you about. don’t think you have to conform to other people’s notions, because they’ll have you going up rabbit shoots and down mole holes trying to bend over backwards for their benefit. it’s just not worth it.

  • Tammy

    I totally agrees with you, my daughter hair is wild and curly and I absolutely love it. Anyone who criticizes a child’s hair , seriously need to get a life and mine their own business .

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