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Over the last few months, I have had a little bug on my shoulder concerning the negative comments and feedback about Beyonce’s daughter Blue Ivy’s hair upkeep.

I’ll be honest and admit that I am always very amused by celebrity memes and roasts. There’s a guilty pleasure I think many of us have when we see people who are usually praised and worshiped like gods being shamed like the rest of us for fashion, makeup mistakes and weight gain.

To me, those things say, “Hey, they’re rich and gorgeous, but they dress bad and take embarrassing photos just like everyone else.” It’s an ounce of hope when we’re all brainwashed into thinking that Hollywood is a magical world where everything and everyone is perfect, even if they pay to look that way.

However, recently there is one joke in particular that keeps reinventing itself on the Internet that has been not so funny to me, and that joke is baby Blue Ivy Carter’s hair.

I’ve seen people saying things like, “Beyonce always keeps her hair looking tight, why is she letting her baby look like she doesn’t love her?” and, “Beyonce is rich, she needs to do something with that baby’s hair!” — or even stuff like, “Blue Ivy looks a mess her hair is just the worst,” “She needs some bows or braids,” and, “Why does she let her baby go out looking like that?”

I’m not sure if it’s because everyone just expects the offspring of queen Bey to be flawless from the cradle to the grave or the fact that people are so obsessed with hair, be it on a baby’s head or an adult. Whatever the reason, I am not amused at all.

Every time someone makes a rude comment I find myself in an internal boxing match trying to keep myself from going into a full-on rage-filled rant. I often times just want to virtually shake people and tell them to shut the hell up, grow up and leave that adorable child’s hair alone.

This might have something to do with the fact that I have a 16-month-old daughter whose hair looks pretty much identical to Blue’s.

I don’t “do” my daughter’s hair either, I wash it and occasionally detangle but that’s about it. Most days her hair is just a curly fluff and others it’s a mangled fluff.

She’s a baby, is she supposed to be just flipping around a head full of luscious tresses at 18 months? I’m sorry that I don’t feel it necessary to snatch my baby bald trying to squeeze the little hair she does have into some tight braids and rubber bands to appease other people, while she’s screaming and crying her eyes out.

My daughter’s hair is (on a good day) just clean. There’s nothing manicured or neat about it; it’s a head of fluffy hair that just sits there. I don’t think it needs to be pleasing to anyone’s eye at this point — who is my baby trying to impress? Her hair is clean and, more importantly, it’s healthy.

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Apparently even babies don’t get a pass when it comes to the politics of “good hair.” Fun fact: When I was a baby, my mother used to shave my head into a low cut. I was walking around serving up Amber Rose baldness way before it was popular. It was my mother’s way of keeping my hair manageable and acceptable while not murdering my scalp every three days.

What’s wrong with letting a baby be a baby?

Women have to focus more on teaching young girls to appreciate themselves for who they are. Hair and makeup should not be the concern of any little girl, especially before they can even form a sentence. But since we are so interested in children’s hair, why not boycott kiddy relaxers and texturizers? Why not boycott the false sense of security that women place on things that are not a natural part of who they are?

My daughter will know and love who she is and one thing that will never make or break her is her hair. Anyone who has an issue with my child’s “unkempt” hair can kick rocks, and that should stand for adults as well. There is nothing at all wrong with letting your child just be and be happy.

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Pam Cakes on XOJane!

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  1. I totally agrees with you, my daughter hair is wild and curly and I absolutely love it. Anyone who criticizes a child’s hair , seriously need to get a life and mine their own business .

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  2. shay

    Umm sorry but you need to do your babies hair too. I had less hair than her as a baby and my mom at least combed it out and put a bonnet on it.its not about doing your own thing.Its about not letting your baby’s hair mat and dry up lookin like a sheeps behind.

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    • Maybe one day you’ll get that different people have different ideas of when their hair is done. Just because (white supremacist) society has dictated what is “done” hair does not mean everyone agrees with it.

      Notice you never notice these sort of comments with children who have straight hair. If its curly/kinky, you gotta do something with it beyond washing and moisturizing.

      This is posed at all who think like you..If it’s not posing a danger to you, your loved ones and society, what is the problem again?

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    • The point is no baby is on this earth to entertain and delight onlookers. She’s a human being whose only jobs are to eat, grown, discover, learn, and love. That’s really all any of us need to do (after 18, add pay ur bills.) i’m 31 and i dont owe it to anyone to look cute. We need to kill this idea that our humanity is dependent on our beauty or aesthetics. Chalk this one up to the Princess Industrial Complex.

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    • I get where shay is coming from. I think the same way as in Blue Ivy’s hair looks dry and matted. It’s not about spending hours and hours of time on a baby’s hair but ANYONE from ANY race if they just “wash & go” without taking time to moisturize, comb through and trim uneven/split ends will look like a hot mess. In every pic I have seen of Blue Ivy her hair has always looked dry and uneven.

      I grew up in a predominately white neighborhood and I have seen plenty parents disregard their childs hair to where it is lice ridden and greasy looking with split ends. Not to deflect from the large issue in society of black hair = bad hair, but plenty white folks kids have bad looking hair too.

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