shekinah

What is with black women thinking the white man’s ice is colder this week? Sheryl Underwood revealed her burning desire for “beautiful, long, silky” white hair on Sunday and last night’s episode of “Family Hustle” paid homage to all things white.

Shekinah, Tameka “Tiny” Harris’ hairstylist, revealed that she wants to be white. Her reasoning? “White people are living the life,” and “White people never have drama. Black girls always going through some sh*t.”

She and Tiny then decide to act white for a week. What follows are offensive quips about what food, clothing and behavior is “black” or “white.”

Excerpts:

“You went straight for the red velvet, that’s so black.”

“Do you know I’m wearing J.Crew? When we’re white again, I’m gonna wear Banana Republic.”
“Drinking tea is very white of us.”

Beyond the ignorance of ascribing race to activities anyone can enjoy, there’s a disturbing undercurrent of self-hatred here. In Shekinah’s world, white is inherently more sophisticated and pulled-together, and black is unstable, unrefined and full of drama.

Just like Sheryl Underwood believes white hair is better than the hair that grows out of her own scalp, Tiny and Shekinah see white peoples’ lives as better than their own. That warped way of thinking is proof of an internalization of white standards of beauty for Sheryl and a damning inferiority complex for Tiny and Shekinah.

Mental slavery is real.

What do you think of this episode, Clutchettes and Gents?

  • gimmeabreak

    They were just funning around. Cant you guys take a joke? Jeeze Lueese!

  • nononsense57

    I don’t have high expectations for any “reality” show airing on vh1, so the ignorance of that show isn’t surprising.

  • L

    Tiny and Shekinah are like the low budget Lucy and Ethel. I don’t think this was worth the space used to highlight it. They were being silly.

  • Anthony

    The irony is that believe more than a little white resentment towards black people over the last forty years stems from the general recognition of racism (even if it has not resulted in meaningful remedies,) while those whites who are struggling (wrongly) feel as if their problems are invisible.

  • Joan

    I don’t watch the show, but as cringe-worthy as it sounds (and it was quite likely a joke), there is some logic to it. I am proud to be black. However, I am not oblivious to the fact that it certainly looks easier to be white. I’m not saying that white is better; I’m saying that it looks easier. lol. There are so many things you don’t even have to think about when you are white. You can shop without anyone bothering you. When someone in a store asks you if you need help, they probably mean it. Men will open doors for you. You get to see yourself on magazines, in commercials (for desirable things), in movies and in story books. When you hear the term “flesh colored”, you won’t have a problem with making a match. You can travel the world without worrying too much about being discriminated against. If you go missing, people will look for you and keep looking for you for a LONG time. You can get a cab easily. If you clean yourself up and get access to the right amount of money, you can completely reinvent your life, no questions asked. If you get into a an Ivy League university, it’s perceived that you got in fairly (even if you came in via family legacy and/or if someone pulled some strings for you). You can move into the best white neighborhoods without anyone asking you to explain your situation. You can jog in that neighborhood without ever being followed or questions. Your kids and their white friends can hang out without being stared at or harassed. If you are a man who can afford to provide a lifestyle that allows his wife not to work if she doesn’t want to, nobody will ever see your stay-at-home wife in the grocery store during work hours and ask, “So…what does your husband DO?” *SIGH* Smh. You can leave a sh@tty tip at a restaurant and you’ll just be cheap…your entire race will not be judged for it. You might not make as much as the black people who live in the upper-middle class black neighborhood, but if there are a bunch of you (white people) concentrated in a certain area, your mall will have much better stores and restaurants that the upper middle and even upper class black folks will never, ever see in their neighborhoods. The schools in your neighborhood will be better. You can move into a historically black neighborhood (at a bargain price) and make it more “desirable” just because you showed up! And the “better” stores will miraculously appear!

    I could go even further, but I have work to do. Lmao,

  • Nick

    sometimes yall need to chill out and quit calling everything self hate. I’m pretty sure they were clowning around. And lets please not pretend that race and culture doesnt influence our behavior. But Ofcourse anyone can do anything they want to. And if doing yoga and drinking tea is new for Shekinah then let her rock.

  • Nick

    I wish i could high5 you! God knows I love being black but he also knows this ish is stressful for the most part lol. They were only having fun.

  • Brad

    All that being said, I for the life of me love and I mean just love being black. Couldn’t for a second think about wanting to be anything but, black…

  • apple

    less drama she maybe right? i mean the ability to walk in stores and not be followed, be given the benefit of the doubt for shit, get jobs with no skills, be able to walk in your neighborhood without the possibly of a nonpolice officer shooting you because he thinks your a thief, getting loans even if you have bad credit, being shown all the houses for sales instead of being told “there are no properties available, all 20 sold this morning” -_- , being considered the ideal of beauty, being able to be angry without it being a stereotype, going missing and people actually search for you instead of the police saying “maybe you ran away so we won’t be filing that missing persons report on you”

  • vintage3000

    ““White people are living the life,” and “White people never have drama. Black girls always going through some sh*t.””

    Trying to remember if I have ever heard a White woman say “I wish i was Black and sopisticatetd, White girls are so damn skeevy all the time”.

    Nope, can’t think of any, imagine that.

  • Marisa

    If you spend enough time around white people you realize they are NOT walking perfection despite what their media projects about them, as opposed to every other race. Frankly I don’t waste my time on things that can never be, and one of those is I’m born Black and a Woman that’s not changing. Men and Whites do have their advantages but, if you take a good hard look at how they earned that advantage its not peachy keen at all. Sure to quote Shekinah “white people are living the life” yeah history has shown that life was gained off of the backs of so many others. That’s why they are gifted with delusion which we aren’t afforded, right along with blissfully unaware card they pull, were nothing in society is ever wrong because it currently doesn’t effect them. Also they way whites tend to rip off black culture to the extent they do we already know despite the disdain they show on the outside about blacks as a race, they can’t help wanting some parts of it.

  • Mike

    @Joan

    One other thing that you missed. The biggest problem is that blacks keep holding on to fantasies. The truth is there have never been any high crime, bad school and low income black community that has changed to a middle or upper middle class community with out a large influx of educated skill people and families from outside of that community.

    If the community is a black middle class community. It started out as a black middle class community. Yet blacks in these horrid communities with horrid schools keep holding on to the notion that things are going to change. They are not. Your leaders are lying. If the schools are bad, they are going to stay bad. The only blacks schools in the black community that I’ve seen that have changed are the one’s where they completely closed the school getting the failing bad behavior black kids out to other schools. Then reopen it admitting only black kids with above average grades. I’m not talking about some bogus 100% graduation. I’m talking about black kids actually testing above average in reading, math,ect.

  • Pop goes the weasel

    I’m going to print this comment out and put it on my dorm door. Thank you for this.

  • Nakia

    Sheryl Underwood only said aloud what many Black women say every day with their hair weaves.

  • ruggie

    Shekinah and her antics are funny. But here she makes the mistake of comparing the black people in her everyday life to the white people she sees on TV (I think we all do that a bit sometimes).

  • unleash the diva

    Tiny’s mother is white so what is she talking about. I hate that show because of her friend. she says the most ignorant stuff.

  • Joan

    Pop goes the weasel, if you are referring to my comment, if you print it, could you please make the spelling and grammatical corrections for me? I should have have checked it before I submitted it. Thanks!

  • Joan

    Mike, thanks.

    Now I realize something that I missed. If you are white, you are less likely to have low expectations. (I mean, why should you if things in your community tend to have a way of eventually working out to your advantage?) And when you have high expectations, people are less likely to call you delusional. It’s okay to hold on to hope and try to make things better because if enough of the right white people learn about your situation, sooner or later you will have adequate resources to go along with those hopes and dreams. A news story about a black person down on his/her luck will garner some attention. A news story about a white person down on his/her luck will start a movement…a campaign…Hell, your picture will be used during the campaign because nobody will ever confuse it for a mugshot.

  • Lya

    That use to be the case but it is changing. Here in NJ there use to be cops or swat outside of Elizabeth High. There were drugs, dropouts, rapes, fights, so much going on at the school. Now they are a blue ribbon school. I do not know how it happened but if you elect the right people and parents get more involved things can change.

  • http://gravatar.com/noirluv45 noirluv45

    What you just said! I sum all that up with two words: WHITE PRIVILEGE!

    With all those benefits, they have the audacity to complain!!!!

  • leelah

    miley cyrus. And she living the best white girl life.—I’m just being sarcastic

  • NY’s Finest

    I tried to watch last night but when she said if I were white I’d have green eyes and good hair I had to turn. I’m just over self hating black folk, I can’t do it anymore. And smh at people talking about they were just being funny and silly, it ain’t shit funny about that ignorance.

  • BeautifulMe

    I would reframe from generalizing it as “black women” because I as a black woman appreciates my natural beauty (hair) not saying one is better than the other. White, Latino, Asian etc. get weaves or extension. Sheryl DOES NOT represent us/me as a black woman. IAMWHOIAM!

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    This!!!

  • Sheena

    WTH is going on with us!!? I mean really….after reading the Sheryl Underwood article, I’m too through. Are black women really hating themselves that much?! I can’t speak for everyone but I love being a black woman. From the versatility of my hair to the fullness of my lips, the color of my brown skin, everything. I am probably the least drama-prone woman on the planet. I hate animosity and conflict, so I avoid it at all costs. I do a lot of things that the ignoramuses of the world believe black women don’t do. Why are these women so painfully ignorant?? And it IS painful to watch such tom-foolery. That’s one reason why I don’t watch reality tv. B/c of ignorant sh*t like this.

    I could say that it’s obvious that Tiny and this Shekinah character were never taught the diversity and class of people of their own race. But they have examples though. The media is full of examples of classy black women that defy negative stereotypes, so really there is no excuse. And if they were doing this for laughs, not funny. At all. They are just encouraging some of the worst stereotypes about us and encouraging non-blacks to continue to believe them. Also, they encourage children who don’t know any better to think it’s true that black women are full of drama and white women are more civilized, and beautiful. So terrible. I don’t even have the patience for this kind of coonery and buffoonery anymore. Damn VH1 and their exploitation of black women. Seriously considering boycotting the channel altogether.

  • 123

    “Also they way whites tend to rip off black culture to the extent they do we already know despite the disdain they show on the outside about blacks as a race, they can’t help wanting some parts of it.”

    The problem with your argument is that you want to see black culture as a separate entity, while seeing white people as part of a general American culture, where they don’t really have anything of their own. In your view, white people rip off everytime they do something you consider ‘black’, but it doesn’t go the other way, because black people are just doing American things.

  • Beautiful Mic

    Tiny’s WHITE mother is a certain type of white, similar to Keke Wyatt’s mom (similar to a Teena Marie).

    Also, her WHITE mother is part Chinese, and I wouldn’t exclude the possibility that she has some African slave heritage as well.

  • Cocochanel31

    I saw some of the episode. I doubt Shekianah’s loud talking crazy self was being serious and truly does not want to be white or anything close to it. They were clearly bored and needed a storyline so they made that stupid mess up..even the white ladies in the tea place were looking at them like they were stupid and Tiny told Sheknah to be proud to be black..all in all pretty boring and dumb episode so I turned.

    I’m really only drawn to the storylines soley centered around the kids and adorable Major now.

  • Pema

    Come on now, Tiny’s mother is white. This debacle is all about ratings.

  • Marisa

    Between Shekinah and Sheryl Underwood it must be shuck and jive week and nobody told me. The fact she goes up to these white people and declare I wanna be white or whatever crap she was spouting, those people looked at her like she had two heads. Also since when did yoga, acupuncture, green tea, bike riding and J Crew preppy look, calmness were exclusive to white people. If Shekinah is really tired of drama and ignorance how bout starting with herself then work your way down. Tiny has been her friend for how many years and her mom is white and how many of that so-called exclusive white qualities does Tiny exhibit. All this mess does is gas up white folks heads even more than usual for the last time WHITE PEOPLE ARE NO BETTER THAN ANY OTHER RACE IN SOCIETY, they don’t have ownership of class, decency, respectability and no drama.

  • http://gravatar.com/mijoi Michelle

    Well its not the first time Shekinah has expressed her self hatred and I am sure VH1 was more than happy to exploit her ignorance for ratings. It was SAD and even the white girl in part of the episode told her she, “just think the grass is greener” very wise of her and she looked younger than Shekinah…Its sad as young as she is that she has no sense of value for who she is as a person. You could clearly see Tiny was embarrassed for her, but still willing to exploit her ignorance.

  • TheRealDonDiva

    DEAD @ “drinking tea is very white of us” I’m sorry but that is funny!

    I have no idea who Shekinah and the Family Hustle are. Is that some type of music group?

  • http://gravatar.com/khrish67 khrish67

    I was in complete awe with this episode. Although I guess I shouldn’t have been. I just couldn’t believe that the show really put on this episode. This woman, girl, whatever she considers herself, was the epitome of ignorance. While I have seen her in many episodes and have found her either to be sublimely ignorant or just playing for attention; I have wondered that she must be a really good friend to T.I.’s wife for her to continue to associate with such a person who seems to get worse instead of better. I am hoping that she is really not as ignorant and the scenes she participates in, but If not why would she allow herself to be portrayed as such. It’s like she has no self awareness or pride. I would be totally embarrassed to be seen with her. She does and says things that are the epitome of ignorance. She gives people the reason to feel that, even though she is seemingly given all kinds of things to improve her life; she is just born to be ignorant. I truly felt ashamed for her. Please tell me that this is an act and that she is going to take on a different image. I can’t even believe that Tamika supports her “friend” acting as she does. I usually watch because I like the way that T.I. interacts with the children. He seems to be much more concerned with the morals of the girl than does the Mom. But I think they need to re-think those totally outrageous actions and dialogue of Tamika’s friend. It was disgusting and made me physically ill to see a woman of colour acting and talking like this woman. There was nothing at all funny about this episode.

  • http://gravatar.com/khrish67 khrish67

    Surely they could have found a better way to conquer silliness. This was deplorable.

  • http://gravatar.com/khrish67 khrish67

    but children watch this show because of the children. With their financial fortune, they can do all the things that they want to do. Many of the things you mentioned above are not problems to them. I thought this choice of show was deplorable.

  • http://gravatar.com/khrish67 kkhrish67

    Vintage3000 you are right. It bring to mind that Chris Rock said that “no white person would change places with me and I’m rich”. There are many bars against us but that’s because these people are afraid that we are so dynamic they can’t afford to allow us to just BE. This isn’t the first time this girl goes off on these down right STUPID jags. So yes,, I do think she has some real personal problems with being herself.

  • Natalie B.

    The times I have attempted to watch the show I have almost been physically ill from the ignorance. Seriously, I started itching. It is not a coincidence that the stars of this show are a rapper with gun possession charges that has done time, who took forever and a day to finally marry his children’s mother who you can barely understand whose friend provides idiot-ass pseudo-comic relief. This is not who we are, yet this is the representation of us that is portrayed. We complain, but folks keep watching, and because they do this young woman will probably end up with a spin-off.

  • http://gravatar.com/khrish67 khrish67

    You obviously have not know any poor whites and had to interact with them. The only thing they have is their color. When you are poor, you’re just poor and those who are poor have a worst life than many of us. That’s why they are the ones to fight so hard to take away things from us even though it hurts them as well. The people with the money who keep them down and rewarding them with the color of their skin. The game is green. and all they have is their color and the people with the green will continue to keep this skin color game in line to keep the ones at the bottom fighting with each other as they live the American dream. That she is a part of friends who have money and can do many things, makes her even more disgusting to me. But then anyone can be ignorant.

  • Sunny

    No one watching this crap should be surprised by what they say and do. they sold out a long time ago.

  • http://gravatar.com/khrish67 khrish67

    Just off the top of my head, Tiny’s mom seems to have been not a rich woman but one who has a lot of what she has because Tiny did well with the singing group. I mostly think that her friend, whatever her name, is just ignorant. She is always doing and saying ignorant things. What she seems to lack most is education and exposure. If she thinks that being White just entails all the things she named like drinking tea and yoga……She needs to be around other Black women who value themselves; albeit, then she would be one of those who think they are talking and acting “white”. Perhaps a visit to poor white neighborhoods and mixing with those people would help her. One thing for certain, she needs help.

  • http://gravatar.com/keimia Kam

    Not doubting that you appreciate your hair, but White, Latino and Asians get weaves and extensions that blend with their natural hair!

  • http://gravatar.com/chanela17 chanela17

    so true. soooo soo true! it’s depressing. Other races don’t really have the problem that black people have, because black people are seen as the lowest in society. it’s painful and it hurts. i honestly look in the mirror sometimes and wonder if black people were cursed because we’re always the complete opposite as everybody else. asian people are accepted and hispanic people are accepted. people say negative things about hispanics when it comes to immigration, but they still even get the benefit of doubt “they are working hard for their families to give them a better life”. black people are barely doing anything positive as a collective group of people. we’re the only ones who refuse to better ourselves because of the “imma do me, i don’t care what people think of me” type of mentality. your reputation matters in this world.

    yes, it’s not ALL black people, but it’s way too damn many AS A GROUP that are uncivilized and belligerent.

  • Tara

    These two Bufoon Goons make asinine comments and now all black women think like them. Black women are embarrassed of these two Hood Rats!

  • Anon

    People still watch VH1?????

    Anyway, this whole thing of what “black women don’t do”, only really came to the forefront after Obama was elected. Shockingly, I was able to play tennis, practice yoga, swim, and wear J-Crew in relative peace and quiet until 2008.

    No one ever wants to bring up the elephant in the room, which is the CLASS of black women who are willing to jump in front of a camera and act a fool on T.V.

  • Cooningforratings

    The point is not so much her comment as the networks who continuously want to ONLY portray black women like this. Why aren’t “normal” black women without hangups not getting these TV gigs?

  • Cooningforratings

    I thought blackness and race in general was about a deep spiritual connection to your culture of people who look like you? Not being judged by the tip you leave at the restaurant is the least of this. I know you are being humorous but I detect you might sort of believe a bit of this yourself.

  • Cooningforratings

    wow, so much self-hate in your post, i have the sneaking suspicion you are a white poster pulling a fast one on us. depressing to be black? who raised you and what did they do wrong? i have never been depressed being black.

  • Deal-n-Truth

    She’s another one that makes me cringe because of her ignorance and stupidity. If Tiny had any real sense she’d break ties with this woman because she can’t see that she secretly hates her and her lifestyle.

  • Deal-n-Truth

    Hopefully, Oprah’s new show, ” Crazy.Sexy.Life” will show positive black women sans all of the drama and ignorance .

  • http://gravatar.com/geenababe geenababe

    Why are we suprise by this or this woman. I swear she is nothing but a rat…hoodrat to be specific. I can’t look at their show without turning the channel when she pops on the screen. Her being Tiny’s best friend says a lot about Tiny.

  • Marisa

    Here is another still buying that BS that only black women wear weaves and extensions, when we know for a fact every other race of women do the exact same sh%t. So apparently all these other race of chicks walking with fake hair are saying something about themselves too, or does that standard not apply to them.

  • http://gravatar.com/designdiva40 paintgurl40

    i don’t watch reality shows anymore but i remembered how loud and extra she was. she seems like the type that will say or do anything for money and fame.

  • http://gravatar.com/designdiva40 paintgurl40

    it sounds like not only you hate your “black”race, but you’re a snob as well. i’m proud to be a black woman, and God made me a black woman because HE felt i was strong enough to deal with the burdens that comes with this black skin. why is it so important for you to be accepted by white people?? cuz’ truth be told, they ain’t shit either. maybe the reasons you’re not getting what you want out of life is because of you and your attitude.

  • copelli

    Don’t punish the hood for her stupidity.

    Hood has nothing to do with it, she’s just ig’nant.

  • http://gravatar.com/designdiva40 paintgurl40

    last time i checked, white people didn’t invent yoga or drinking tea either.

  • Laura Charles

    “Mental slavery is real.”

    Yes, it sure is. Ignorance, Buffoonery and Ghetto people with money and reality television shows on VH1 are also real. Unfortunately.

  • Joan

    Cooningforratings, these are observations that I have made, having been a black person for over 42 years. I love being black, I come from a wonderful family, married into another wonderful black family. I am proud of the contributions that black people have made and continue to make to the world. However, I was just pointing out that from what I’ve seen in this world, it’s a lot easier to be white. (Not better, just easier. We are pretty much saying that whenever we talk about white skin privilege.) The world makes things easier for a white person. White people are applauded for what they do, scolded for mistakes they make, forgiven for the mistakes they make and celebrated for reinventing themselves. A black person might get a second chance, but a white person will get second, third, fourth, fifth, INFINITE chances, at least until the multiple sources of money and resources run out. If used wisely, white skin can get you a LOT in this world. If you are born with brown skin, you have to work a bit harder. A person with brown skin can have a great life, but you (and/or somebody before you and/or somebody raising you) will have to work a lot harder for that good life to be possible. (By good, I mean that your dreams or something close to them or someone else’s in your family/community are fulfilled through you.) Again, I am not saying that I would want to ever be white. However, I cannot deny that I would not mind experiencing the “white perks”….in my brown skin, of course! ;)

  • GT

    Exactly. I bet most folks on this forum could easily find regular happy and content black women and men within 5 minutes who care nothing about the crap that these women do. But thats the crap they want to portray on TV about our community, when no one I know in my community is like this! Just because we aint rolling in it doesn’t mean we are discontent. Time to change that damn tune.

  • ScriptTease

    Yes, this particular episode was very embarrassing, and us Black Women keep making fools of ourselves. Especially during the Yoga/Meditation scene with them being loud, and disturbing everyone’s vibe. The White girl was giving them that “typical of them” look. SMDH. I still like Shekinah and Tiny, but this was very very foul.

  • http://[email protected] butterfly8

    I think you can pay some Black people to say and do anything. She’s pretty much made a fool out of herself, and is working her way off the show and no where after the show, only she doesn’t know it!. White executives write stupid sh*t for some blacks to say and praise whites and put down themselves, which is supposed to be the voice of all
    “Blacks” in which it toooootally is not!!!
    I’m proud and do not wish to be no other race but my own and that’s “Afro American”! I like the family Hustle, but it may be time to change the chanel? Peace!

  • isaldy

    Seriously, how are black children still walking around not understanding that they are the mothers and fathers of civilization? That from the sperm of the black man and the womb of the black woman, came the brown, red, yellow man and white man. I hate to break it down into colors like that, but if you understand how it came about then you would understand why. How is it that black girls don’t know that at one time their hair was straight…that is why their eyebrows are straight. That our hair is kinky because one of our Ancient fathers wanted to conquer the wilds of West Africa…and to prevent our brain from cooking in the heat of West Africa they purposely kinked our hair. How is it that black children don’t know that the Holy Land didn’t always have the light skinned Arabs that you see today, that the original Arabs looked like them(as dark as Shaka)? How is that black children don’t know that the first ship that brought their ancestors here…wasn’t the Nina, Pinta and the Santa Maria, but White people brought them on a ship called Jesus. When the Africans realized what was happening to them….they looked off the shores of America and asked for the ship called Jesus to take them back home. Why is it that black children don’t know that their original religion was not Christianity….but that their ancestors came to America as either a Muslim or an Animalist. Christianity was forced on them during slavery? Why is it that black children don’t know that when Genesis in the Bible…states darkness covered the face of the deep,…..it is trying to convey that in the beginning black people covered the entire planet. Why is it that black children don’t know that the moon was blown into outer space by a black man discontent that we all did not speak the same language. And yes, black people had gun powder before the Chinese. Why is it that black children don’t know that not only was Jesus a black man, so was Moses. White people were on the Isle of Patmos in caves, uncivilized and crawling on all fours…and Moses(a black man was sent by God to go get them. Why don’t black girls know this? Why doesn’t Shekina know that black women taught white women how to cook and sew, that black men taught white men mathematics in their beginning. Sorry about the grammar and punctuation, but this is just getting ridiculous. If you are not willing to teach black children who they are, then you’re just raising slaves to be subservient to White people. No black child can hold his/her head up high thinking the White man and woman are everything and they are nothing. Shekina’s mother and father failed her. Ask yourself if you are failing your child.

  • Shelly

    Idk why people would say that what your are saying is “self hate”…just about everything you said is true. It is not depressing to be black, it’s depressing that we must deal with all the things that “apple” listed above. I think it is a shame that Tiny’s friend would say those things on television, but many black women think that white people have it easier, and in many case, THEY DO. We need to love who we are because we are who we are, and we need to realize that being black doesn’t HAVE to be synonymous with “struggle,” but I understand when misguided black women are jealous of others. Idk why we would lie to ourselves and act like being black is a jolly walk in the park. I wish it were, because I love who I am, too.

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