Screen-shot-2013-01-16-at-5.58.43-PM-e1358377226624

Two years ago, some friends and I witnessed a woman get punched in the face by a man just off Bourbon Street in New Orleans. While we immediate went to her aid, the man simply stepped over her like she was trash and merged with the crowd while his friend filmed the entire scene.

What provoked the attack? She refused to give him her phone number and he snapped.

Back in college, my roommate, her cousin, and I road tripped to the Bay Area during Spring Break. On our way to a tiny nightclub in Oakland, my roommate’s cousin gave us one piece of advice: “If a man asks you to dance, just do it. They punch girls up here.”

I was reminded of these stories yesterday when I read about a 19-year-old woman in the UK who is trying to piece her life back together after being bashed in the head with a champagne bottle when she turned down a man’s advances at a nightclub. Although she escaped with her life (thankfully), doctors had to insert a plate into her jaw and she no longer goes out because she doesn’t feel safe.

These incidents are not unique; they happen way too often. And although it would be nice to believe that a spurned man would deal with rejection like a grown up or have sensible friends who could convince him to just move on to the next woman, this isn’t always the case.

Women have lost lives and/or been seriously injured at the hands of men they did not know simply because they were not interested in a conversation.

Which begs the question, what can we do?

If we cannot rely on the man’s own common sense, or his friends, or bystanders to step up, how can we women best protect ourselves from being assaulted by some idiot with a fragile ego?

I’m asking for real, Clutchettes.

Tell us how you deal with harassment; you may just save a woman’s life.  

50 Comments

  1. The fact that this whole discussion exists is crazy. We all have our own tactics that work the majority of the time, but what about the times that they don’t work? I have to come out of my character and resort to violence in order to get from point A to point B? That’s a terrible and sad reality, though. The biggest problem is that these types of men exist and are allowed to exist with little, if any retribution at all. We need to change the way that we raise our boys. Teach them that they our suppose to be our brothers, not our predators. Because they’re not getting any better. Just rape-at-will worse

  2. I am an Aussie and it’s frightening reading this stuff. I got badly harassed at a workplace years ago – male dominated.

    Even the sexual comments were all about dominance – he found out I was a feminist and set out on a campaign to completely demoralise me everyday.

    Basically it was fine for him to (clearly) be hostile to women but “not allowed” that I could have any thoughts of discrimination towards males. It was all about dominance.

    Most sexual harassment is about punishing assertive dominant women – especially where men out number women. ‘Uppity’ women get targeted.

    SuPposedly married women are less likely to get targeted -perhaps because they are seen as being another man’S property.

    So, if asked out by a man you do not like, perhaps feign having a boyfriend – maybe make up that he is a bouncer (if asked why he isn’t with you).

    This is really pathetic, though. This incredibly hostile treatment. But to outwit a monkey man (which is what this dominance behaviour is about) it is helpful to undertsand the thinking – if you could call it that.

Comments are moderated, please be respectful. View our policy.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

More in Open Thread, Street Harassment
Close