WOC_tv

A recent article on The Wrap about Mindy Kaling’s FOX sitcom The Mindy Project got me thinking. In the piece, Jethro Nededog wondered why the show’s title character, an Indian-American doctor, seemed obsessed with White guys.

In his essay, Nededog asks why Kaling’s character exclusively dates White men and what it actually means to the rest of us. He writes:

What’s the message being sent when minority female characters on television exclusively date and regularly lose themselves with white men? And, does it really matter if viewers aren’t even noticing or seem unaffected by the leading lady’s dating choices?

I would venture to say that it does matter and that the message being sent to young minority women who watch “The Mindy Project” – whether they realize it or not — is that the measure of success is not just working your way to the top of your profession but that the ideal signifier for that success is a white partner.

And as for non-white men watching the show, it only reinforces the prevailing standard of attraction that ranks them lower on the desirability scale in our culture.

The Mindy Project isn’t the only show that pairs a woman of color with almost exclusively White love interests. NBC’s now canceled drama Deception, depicted Megan Good’s character involved in a hot romance with her childhood (White) beau, and TV’s most popular drama, Scandal, is fueled by Olivia Pope’s steamy affair with President Fitzgerald Grant. Although Pope has dated non-White men, the only other guy to give the president a run for his money is Jake Ballard, Fitz’s naval pal.

NBC-Deception-Youre-the-Bad-Guy

The fact that women of color rarely have love interests that look like them may be do to the lack of minority women on network TV in the first place. Gone are the days of sitcoms like The Cosby Show, The Hughleys, The George Lopez Show, or My Wife and Kids that showed Black and Brown families on TV. These days, shows are quite homogenous with a person of color thrown in for diversity’s sake.

American television isn’t the only medium where minority characters are often paired with a White partner. In the UK it’s commonplace to see a Black woman married to a White man, or a Black man married to an Asian woman on-screen. However, it’s extremely rare to a Black couple or family on-screen at all.

Like Nededog, I wonder what this type of casting says about the industry’s politics. While White-on-White relationships are shown as the norm, Black, Latino, and Asian couples are rarely seen, despite these types of partnerships most-closely mirroring real life.

When it comes to on-screen love, are women of color only allowed to have White partners? 

  • Fredsan

    Nothing new to black men.. Its been like that since slavery

  • http://gravatar.com/sparkle86 sparkle86

    A functional loving black couple on screen! Alot of white supremacists would have an aneurysm first.

  • http://gravatar.com/sparger sparger

    The rule is white people are allowed to be with anyone. Non white person needs a white person. White people are desirable and you minorities need to be grateful for their attention.

  • Marie

    These programs want it to be known this is an interracial couple and be in your face about it; just as Cheerios did. (Or hell, it could be more social engineering.)As for Scandal, Olivia being in a scandalous relationship with a white man is the least of the story for me; I like the way her and the Gladiators “fix” things. Folks come to her at the end of their rope with wide mouth crocs waiting for them to drop. Next thing they know, the Gladiators have thrown them a second line and made loafers, belts, shoes, and wallets out of the crocs. Love Scandal!!!

  • https://www.facebook.com/JESSICARSCALES Jessica Jello Scales

    I ll just repat what Will Smith said. Two black people makes the movie a “black” movie and therefore only blacks will see it. So in Hitch he couldn’t have a black love interest like he wanted. So they cast that Latina gel..I think Eva Mendez If I’m not mistaken. So the point isn’t always to not see two blacks on tv. It’s to make sure whites don’t mistake te show for brig a black show. And if you have a white lead make and WOC lead female no one would mistake it for a non white show. It’s all about ratings and getting the majority white populations views.

    However even if the media could put two black love interests in a show together and still get the daiting a they wanted,they wouldn’t. White supremacy needs to divorce and conquer us remember?

  • BeanBean

    The target market for ALL advertising dollars are whites, specifically white men. Two black people makes the show a ‘black show’ which means whites won’t watch, which means the show will get cancelled. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just explaining why this occurs.

  • guest

    And what exactly is a “black” show? Do white people think all black people are two-dimensional, stereotypical, caricatures of human beings?

    Nevermind. I just answered my own question.

  • vintage3000

    You mean your total lack of power and authority (and self-respect post-slavery) as a BM…I agree.

  • http://clutchmagazine.com Felicia

    This seems to becoming a television cultural norm. I assumed it was to fulfill the diversity agenda that society is pushing. I’m sure that we all have noticed, that it is not just women of color who are paired with white partners; there has been several shows that have paired black men with a white partner also. For instance, “Happy Endings” and the “Practice”
    The concern he has about the casing’s reinforcing the prevailing standards of attraction that ranks men of color lower on the desirability scale, is the same concern that black women have when we see so many high profile black men choosing white women. To read where a black men has this concern surprises me. There seems to be plenty of positive reinforcements that black men are attractive.

  • guest

    Well black men have been saying it for years now. Whenever white media promotes black people, best believe that there will be a curveball.

    Black men are rarely promoted as intelligent and competent leaders, professionals, strong father figures, or heads of households. If you see us, we’re either chasing after a ball like thoroughbreds or buckdancing and cooning (formerly called hip hop). The spectrum is Lil Wayne on one end and Barack Obama on the other with a huge void in between.

    We never seem to have it together until some white person reaches down and “saves” us.

    If we have ambition or are making our own path in life, its only after we’ve already screwed up by having a criminal past.

    If we’re successful and single we’re now arrogant, misogynistic players who treat women like toys.

    If we’re successful and in a monogamous relationship, we’re insecure, jealous, abusive, tyrants.

    If we’re successful and in a monogamous relationship without any of the above character flaws, we’re on the DL.

    If we are promoted without any of these curveballs, we’re depicted as sex objects, as if that’s what men should aspire to be

    Black women are promoted as ambitious and successful, but rarely as beautiful. And if by chance an attractive black woman gets center stage, there’s always an offset or a curveball.

    She’s attractive, but she’s belligerent, violent, and has the personality of a cheese grater.

    She’s attractive, but she’s a single mother.

    She’s attractive, but she’s mixed or biracial.

    She’s attractive, but she has European features.

    She’s attractive, but she’s a whore.

    She’s attractive, but she’s a white man’s whore.

    She’s attractive, but let’s throw some Precious looking woman next to her to paint beautiful black women as tokens.

    She’s attractive and successful, but for some reason she can’t get a man.

    Not only do white directors do this, but black directors like Tyler Perry is guilty of doing this to his own people over and over again.

    And these are the times when black women actually get some shine. 99% of the time you’re going to get the jezebel, sapphire, or the asexual mammy in one form or another.

    This has been going on for decades, poisoning our own perceptions of ourselves. As long as someone else controls our image, it will always be dysfunctional and distorted.

  • Guest1234

    Good point. Hollywood can’t seem to get anything right. But I have to say, that with respect to black women, I find it refreshing for them to have non-black love interests. For so long, black men have denigrated, hated and degraded black women publicly. I’ve had more than enough of that shit. It’s nice to see images of a man who doesn’t carry that baggage (and hatred and racism) playing opposite one of us.

    I do wonder, however, why there aren’t other interracial mixes going on? Why is it that POC always have to be with either someone of their own race or someone white? I’m an equal opportunity kinda gal. Let’s see some latino, asian, indian, south asian, etc… men playing opposite black women. This is America, after all. There are lots of different kinds of men to choose from. Let’s see the full buffet. :)

  • guest

    “There seems to be plenty of positive reinforcements that black men are attractive.”

    That’s a curveball. Being attractive should not be the first thing you associate with black men. Neither is being athletic, musically inclined, or funny. Being strong, competent MEN should be the first association.

    White men ensure that the strong image of the successful white businessman, family man, and patriarch doesn’t waver for a second.

    Black men are depicted as sex gods, but never as strong, positive male role models, fathers, or professionals. They do the same thing to black women, but in reverse.

    Do you see white women being promoted as educated and successful, but not beautiful and sexy??

  • http://gravatar.com/noirluv45 noirluv45

    MISCEGENATION! Not only do they pair “minority women” with White men, they sure enough pair Black men with “insert every race of woman instead of Black” as well. I’ve noticed this more and more with Black men/Latina women.

    I know it sounds like a cliche, but the old “divide and conquer” game is still be played. They know the best way to get across a message to the masses is to keep showing images. They rely on people who lack thinking skills to buy into the product they are pushing.

    That’s my take on it.

  • http://gravatar.com/noirluv45 noirluv45

    There have been a lot of “Black shows” that attract White people. There is big money in being Black and everything we do. That’s why everyone copies what we do and make money from it – everyone except US.

  • guest

    You don’t get what’s going on here. Black men are the only race of men that are intentionally sexualized, reinforcing the mandingo stereotype that keeps black men distracted or knocks them out of the game from building wealth and gaining power.

    You will never see any of the other races of men promoted and sexualized like that, especially not with a black woman or any other race of woman. They’re BUSY building up their communities and PROTECTING their women from the onslaught of the negative images and misrepresentations they would be faced with by depending on another group to promote them, thereby acquiescing control of their image. They have a vested interest in keeping things within their own ethnic group because it is supported by their own economic foundation.

    You won’t see them because they don’t want to be seen, at least if they aren’t the ones who control it…

    That’s something that black people don’t seem to grasp.

    Black people are so thirsty and desperate for attention that we’ll do anything in front of a camera for a little bit of change, no matter the consequences or ramifications on our own image, self perception, and collective psychological health.

    How about black people fall back for a decade or so and come back with our own shit?

    But if that’s what you want to see, go ahead and beg another race of man to promote you and yet another race of man, both of which have no interest in promoting a positive image of black people or each other for that matter, and tell me how that turns out…

  • http://gravatar.com/noirluv45 noirluv45

    BeanBean, there is money in Black. White folks and everyone else is drawn to us. That’s why they steal everything we make successful.

    I think Hollywood has pushed that lie about White folks not watching “Black shows” in order to not make them. What’s more, remember the once great show, “The Game?” It was HUGELY successful until it was cancelled, but remember how the fans, manly Black, protested and brought it back. It was only when the White man took over when it went to BET, that the show went from the best to the worst. It’s horrible now.

    I’m just saying.

  • http://clutchmagazine.com Felicia

    At Guest,

    I read your reply concerning the positive reinforcement statement that I touched upon in my post. I must say, your post rings true and made me think. So, thank you. By the way, has anyone seen an article or blog written by a black men that had an opinion about black men and the pairing of them with white or other on television shows. I felt his piece would have been more balanced if he would have wrote about the obvious pairing ( not just black women) of black and people of color with non blacks, One is shard pressed to find a black couple or black family unit on TV. anymore. It is disheartening.

  • guest

    Yeah, when we’re ENTERTAINING THEM like trained monkeys. When it comes to recognizing the universal human condition that we ALL share as human beings, black people are seen as “other”.

    If there is no profit to be made (typically by promoting the bottom of the barrel of black culture), white people don’t care.

    White people want to live vicariously in blackness and retreat to the safety of white privilege when it suits them.

    The problem is that we don’t even realize the power we could wield over the music and entertainment industry overnight. All we would have to do is walk away and it would fall like a house of cards.

  • RJ

    The funny thing is that Sondra Rhimes, a black woman, seems to think that she should only people of color with whites. She did this on Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice and Scandal.

  • RJ

    That is all well and good, but it is important to see a black man opposite a black woman and have the black man be the one not carrying baggage as well. To constantly pair black woman with white men, reinforces white supremacy. Period.

  • http://twitter.com/rakillers the miller (@rakillers)

    It is no secret interracial marriage is being promoted by the media, I am for two people who love each other to come together. What is happening here is not a result of the television catching up with reality. Think about lesbianism. Even when I was a teenager it was frowned upon. Most women were absolutely disgusted by it. The media started promoting it, touting how men think it is the hottest thing, and etc. If you are old enough, It was not like this. IT was promoted in the media and it transferred to the public. The same goes for race. It was not like it is today. If two people really love each other that is great. However, this is total mind manipulation.

    I see, even many black people have bought in to the false justification of how black movies and sitcoms don’t sell. That is total BS, most people, don’t have problem with black couples in TV if it is entertaining, most of my white friends talk about “fresh prince of bel air” until this day…

    It is not just black couples which are absent in TV this days, it is happy functioning families…white or black. All We got now is a bunch of Booshie fantasy’s, dis-functionality, ratchetness and ultimately harmful thing directed at us on TV. It is amazing how this BS is pushed on to us and we are pathetic enough to take any attention we get, even if the message it conveys is evil.

    There is nothing more dangerous to the system of white supremacy than normal educated black people living in unity. And the best way to preserve white supremacy is thru intermarriage, those mulatto kids will operate as a buffer race and they wouldn’t have any loyalty to their black side.They will go on to marry white for the most part, effectively killing the black in them. They also get the best of everything black people have, the best educated, the most wealthy, the most beautiful women,the best athletic….ect

    If you don’t believe me go to Brazil and see what i am talking about.

  • MommieDearest

    “How about black people fall back for a decade or so and come back with our own shit?”

    I would LOVE to see this happen! But if we were serious, it wouldn’t have to take that long.

  • MommieDearest

    Yep, it’s all part of the plan.

  • MommieDearest

    @guest

    “White people want to live vicariously in blackness and retreat to the safety of white privilege when it suits them.”

    Paul Mooney had it right when he said, “Everybody want to be a n****r, but nobody wants to be a n****r.”

    “The problem is that we don’t even realize the power we could wield over the music and entertainment industry overnight. All we would have to do is walk away and it would fall like a house of cards.”

    Basically. And the powers that be have been very successful in keeping this truth hidden. I wonder what it will take for us to take the blinders off.

  • SayWhat

    Oh but to pair black men with everything light/white does not reinforce that same supremecy?

  • SayWhat

    Given that black men are never paired with black women (unless they are mixed/light), especially when they control the content (magazines, videos, blogs) I’m at a lost as to why the author is focusing on black women pairings.

  • MommieDearest

    “I see, even many black people have bought in to the false justification of how black movies and sitcoms don’t sell. That is total BS, most people, don’t have problem with black couples in TV if it is entertaining, most of my white friends talk about “fresh prince of bel air” until this day…

    There is nothing more dangerous to the system of white supremacy than normal educated black people living in unity.”

    *applause*

    This is the sleeping giant. We need to wake up.

  • Ask_Me

    @Guest1234

    Great comment! I agree with you 100%.

  • http://twitter.com/rakillers the miller (@rakillers)

    ” For so long, black men have denigrated, hated and degraded black women publicly ”

    Wow…that is what you call self-hatred. You do realize you just did what the media does us. Denigrate black men by using some black women’s insecurities, fantasies and hatred of black men…..right.

  • joe

    Recently, I was another black site where brothers and sisters were arguing and insulting each other over who white folks love more. Which gender whites found to be the most desirable as partners. It was sickening. Virtually every attractive black woman on television is paired with a white man. This is simply subconscious reinforcement of white supremacy. In Luther, Idris Elba has a white lover while the only black woman on the show is obsessed with destroying him, even if it means ruining her own career. Let’s wake up people.

  • http://DeAngelisFielder.wordpress.com Prettypoodle3

    This concept is nothing new. I noticed this years ago with latina women in film. Latina women are almost always with white men in romantic situations. Look at any Jennifer Lopez movie, she always ends up with a white guy. As for black women, in media we are lucky to even get a love interest since we usually don’t end up with anyone in television and film. Personally, I don’t have a problem with black women being with white guys some of the time but it would be nice to see more diversity at least between minorities.

  • http://clutchmagonline Felicia

    @Saywhat,

    I am at a loss too as to why he focuses on black women. We as a group need to be focusing on and demanding more positive and truthful images of ourselves. Black people seem to not understand the power of a positive image. Seeing yourself in a positive light is important.

    @Rakillers,

    isn’t it crazy how black people will accept these negative images of ourselves. We cannot seem to grasp that those negative images dictate how people see us, thus feel about us.

  • http://gravatar.com/gparson vintage3000

    Your homework assignment: google Black women and Kevin Hart/DL Hughley/Rush Simmons/that Chad negro who plays football/Tyrese and many others going back decades. Let’s see who is fantasizing and telling stories.

    Then google other races of MEN (not simply males) and see if they have made the same types of comments regarding the women in their race. No other group of men shows their behinds the way you all do. Deal with it.

  • leelah

    This is so true. On private practice and grey’s anatomy she really could’ve put a black couple. Both shows are ensemble shows, with many side characters. The main characters were white women with white men. So there was no reason she couldn’t make an all black supporting couple. Going off what will smith said, with white main characters no one would think it was a black show because of one all black couple. I started watching private practice because of the promise of a black couple but they broke up/kept fighting, and quickly ran into the arms of white characters. I have heard some theories of why we don’t get black-on-black love.1. a black couple is harder for a white audience to relate to. Its a foreign intimacy/sexual energy, which is built on the myth that black sex is different from white sex. black sex is easier to understand when a white person is involved in it. 2. two black people in the room and we must be planning the revolution. 3. white people are spoiled and are use to seeing themselves.–I’m happy Honda Rhimes hasn’t broken through, she’s making history. Hopefully in the future she’ll tackle this problem

  • http://gravatar.com/sparger sparger

    The market has changed. If the Fresh Prince or the Cosby show came out today they would be on the CW with decent ratings from minority viewers only. In a few years they would both be cancelled in favor of a pretty white teen show with even lower ratings. Your friends wouldn’t watch the Fresh Prince or Cosby as first run shows now.

  • Rue.

    “When it comes to on-screen love, are women of color only allowed to have White partners?”
    Yes. Next question.

  • leelah

    thats what I was thinking. I noticed that for some people it doesn’t become a problem until it affects them. Black men made it big it hollywood and we watched their interracial pairings. Now we have shows with black female leads and now its a problem. But now they see what we have been talking about, so at least we can honestly discuss the topic with out any accusations of jealousy.

  • BeanBean

    I understand what you are saying. But advertisers are greedy they want as much money as humanly possible, so they go for the largest market, which still is white people. They don’t want to take the risk of casting black couples because they know it can lessen the amount of money they make. A large population is still very racist in this country, and advertisers still want their money. I believe that things are starting to change, but we have to maintain the change and make it go further. Instead of getting two steps ahead, then letting the momentum disappear, then we’re suddenly 4 steps backwards.

  • leelah

    how many white men watch daytime soaps or dancing with the stars, or grey’s anatomy or Oprah and Dr. phil. The target audience is white people period, not just men.

  • http://twitter.com/cbmts cbmts (@cbmts)

    do you know each other or you’re assuming these things about him based on the fact that he’s a black men? isn’t this the very issue being raised in the article?

  • joe

    The creators and writers for many of these shows happen to be white men. At a time when they feel increasingly threatened by a bleak economic future, diminished voting power and the rapid “darkening” of the U.S. population, the idea that they can have any woman they desire is extremely appealing.

  • 9Boots

    I’m not falling for this “faux concern” coming from black men over black women. If they cared so much, all they have to do is marry black women in REAL life and be the example of black marriage. Only 25% of black women are married to black men. 2% of black women are married interracially. Hollywood is not the true culprit in divide and conquer. Black men initiated the divide decades ago when they decided to stop marrying. So quit turning to Hollywood to display the fantasy of black love because black love is dead. If it was alive black people would have at least have a 60% marriage rate.

  • Josh

    I don’t think it is a conspiracy.

    It is simple: those shows are not targeted to minorities. When there is a great woman of color actress, they place her in roles that white women would identify with, so she gets primarily white lovers. The same thing with great black male actors. They want white men to identify with them, so they get white female lovers.

    Sometimes writers are trying to be edgy. But most of the time it think they are trying to get more ad revenue by creating shows that white people will watch.

    I think most things that happen to us that seem like intentional manipulation are just the side effect of white America pursuing more cash/pleasure while not ignoring everyone else.

  • http://gravatar.com/noirluv45 noirluv45

    It sure is, MommieDearest!

  • Hepburn3

    What bothers me about Mindy Kahling’s show is that she is the ONLY PERSON OF COLOUR. All her friends are white, all her co-workers are white and yes she dates white men mostly, but I do remember her saying that black men love her in one episode, but she is like the lone token person of colour on a show but in this show she is the centre of it all.
    I wonder why we do not see any friends of colour, hear more from her family.
    She had a guy playing her little brother for one episode but he in the end got sent back to Stanford University.

    As for Scandal (I do not watch it) Olivia Pope did have a black love interest, and in Deception the main character was being romantically chased by the black FBI agent and her former white paramour. They were at least there and shown, but the MIndy Project is the worst offender in regards of just having the lead character date just white men.

  • Hepburn3

    Oh! Sorry for spelling Kaling wrong! : )

  • joe

    “Only 25% of black women are married to black men.” What?

  • Tara

    Exactly. I have been on sites where the black men were taunting the black women with the fact that they marry and date a whole lot more white women than black women date/marry white men. They actually gloat about that. What is wrong with us? A battle over who gets more white people?

  • http://gravatar.com/sparger sparger

    She added a black nurse.She is a stereotype..At the end of last season she was singing all her lines. No threat to Mindy being the special minority girl.

  • Careful thinker

    Well if you look at the uk were intermarriage is common among BM and bw neither one is the face of that country. Tv shows and in real life neither one’s image is no.1 uk might be a reference point for people bashing or worrying over this.

  • everclyde

    The marriage stats mean absolutely nothing. How many Black women have dated interracially? Many. So that is all that matters. Marriage only means that the guy asked and the woman said yes. Maybe Black women or White men just have less interest in getting marriage vs Black men and White women.

  • http://gravatar.com/designdiva40 paintgurl40

    @JJS:
    I think that Hollywood (as usual) is promoting a myth about white people will only see “white” movies. The majority of white movies are either remakes of previous movies, books, tv shows or comic books.

    When I lived in Phoenix, I took my clients to see movies like Stomp the Yard and Madea’s Family Reunion. The majority of patrons were white women in BOTH viewings. When there was the scene of all those shirtless fine black men standing on top of Stone Mountain…well you can imagine the responses. If black movies didn’t make any money, Tyler Perry wouldn’t be where he is to this day, and even though people have their opinions about him he does pair bm with bw. TP handles his business and doesn’t depend on white Hollywood to invest in or critique his movies, which kind of pisses “them” off.

    I think the hidden agenda is to keep blacks in control at all times by dangling the purse strings and keep us distracted with bullshit.

  • Sanura Rose

    I’m wondering where they got that stat. lol sure doesn’t add up

  • Treece

    Damn, that’s pretty f*cking sickening. Glad I don’t frequent those sites.

  • knowledge

    Sorry dear but The author of this article is not a black man – he is ASIAN and no where did he specify BW. this isn’t the article to take your frustrations out on bm the author of the article was most likely speaking from his own perspective.

  • Keepingitreal

    Yes!!! We gripe about certain TV shows and movies. But there are black people who are getting PAID because of the certain TV shows and movies. What would happen if people stopped agreeing to be PAID to be a stereotype.

  • knowledge

    Actually its growing opposite

    The younger generation who are “citizens” 30 and younger are different most(exceptions exist) black youths be they African or Caribbean or mixed race are really dating/partying/raving among themselves in london/birm where most blacks live.

    Everytime I go back to London- I see growth in Black culture to the point many black/mixed people want to see other black/mixed people on TV in relationships without white people. Many of my cousins pay more attention to black actors/actresses/athletes/music in the US than the ones in the UK.

  • knowledge

    1)The author is Asian not a black man,

    2) I dont think majority of black men have a problem with these pairings as say the author who is asian simply because majority of black men do not watch these shows. As a black man, I dont feel any kind of way, I was interested in Kerry from her movies she did years ago with black male actors not because of scandal, I was Interested in Meghan Good because her movies she did years with black male actors not because of deception. never watched scandal or deception

    For alot of black men (who arent internet trolls) its nothing New here- after all their audience does consists of more white men than black its expected. So its not a concern for black men- who simply dont watch things they aren’t interested in as you see aside from sports and a few black reality shows that include black males (love &hip hop,RHOA etc) most dont care to watch shows that dont cast them

  • Rochelle

    I have always said that the worst thing that was done to our race was when we started to beg the white man to put us in his shows. Some blacks will do anything, I MEAN ANYTHING to be accepted. Pair tv with the exposure of the internet and it is a wrap. We are doomed folks. The white man is always going to find the one coon to do anything strange for some change at the expense of our image.

  • Bronze

    Do white people think all black people are two-dimensional, stereotypical, caricatures of human beings?
    ____________________________________________

    No but black people think this way of themselves….

  • justanotheropinion

    Question: Are Women of Color Only Allowed to Have White Love Interests On Network TV?
    Answer: Yes

  • http://gravatar.com/trueletterson trueletterson

    Well you been doing it every since you step of the slave ship so why ask now!

  • Brad

    Here are some statistics gathered by Howard, Morehouse, and University of Michigan professors to (perhaps temporarily) put the issue to rest:

    Married black men with a personal income of more than $100,000:
    83 percent have a black wife
    12 percent have a white wife
    5 percent have a wife who is neither black nor white.

    Married black men with college degrees:
    85 percent have black wives
    10 percent have a white wife
    5 percent have a wife who is neither black nor white.

    Married black men who are high school dropouts:
    92 percent have black wives
    6 percent of them have a white wife
    2 percent have a wife who is neither black nor white.

     Married black men who are professional athletes:
    72.8% are married to black women
    22.2% are married to white women
    5% are married to women who are neither black nor white

    This study claims black men overwhelmingly marry black women.

  • vintage3000

    @cbmts

    There is no need for me to assume anything. Many Black men want to believe enslaved Black women eagerly had relationships with White males, its a way for these bm to project their insecurities and self loathing in every convo Black women have (among ourselves) regarding interracial relationships. This website alone is a magnet for Black males who post this nonsense.

  • http://gravatar.com/gparson vintage3000

    Another miserable BM (Bowel Movement)

  • Anthony

    I have said for a long time that even if whites are personally turned off by interracial dating, the idea that a person of color finds whites attractive is affirming to their self-esteem. Showing black characters that have successful relationships within their own communities a level of strength that is threatening to white people.

  • Pseudonym

    Now that I think about it, I don’t think the issue is that women of color are only allowed to have white love interests on network TV, but rather that network TV consists mostly of white men, a few black men, Latino men who look as white as the white guys so you don’t even notice they’re being represented, and then not even a handful of east and south Asian men who never get to play the love interest but are usually the genius (and more recently east Asians have become the random comic relief- Chang, anyone?). You can see this in the fact that you do see black women with black love interests on television (b/c there are more black men on television than the others), but almost never a Chinese, Indian, or non-European looking Mexican couple just hanging out with everyone else being normal people (unless the male of the Latino couple is somehow involved in drugs or other illegal activity).

    It’s sad, truly. On television, most non-white people are used as two-second ethnic props and stereotypical caricatures.

    Also, as much as we criticize, as black people, we must also look at the messages that are sent out by our own. Why is it that in black TV shows and movies (even the independent, low budget black movies I watch on Netflix) black couples always mysteriously have at least one biracial daughter (who is always regarded as the pretty one that all the boys/guys want to date)? Perhaps the mainstream is giving black women white love interests b/c they figure all those random biracial daughters had to come from somewhere! jk!- but the point is still serious.

  • Pseudonym

    Something interesting about that “black show and no whites will watch” idea is the fact that the “black shows” that were watched by white people were the “Cosby Show” and “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” which both featured very successful black families. Also, “Family Matters” which was a part of TGIF- and though the father was a police officer (can’t remember what Harriet did), they had a great quality of life and were very happy.

    I guess I mention this to pose the question: what is it that those shows had that got the entire country to watch them?

  • Lisa

    How about Mistresses the black character’s black husband ended up being a TERRIBLE person who faked his death and left her for another woman while her white boyfriend is the the PERFECT single father. smhhh I’m glad someone else noticed this they give us more black women on t.v but they won’t let them be with black men.One step forward two steps back.

  • http://clutchmagonline Felicia

    @Anthony,

    I have to agree with that assessment. In fact, I can’t help but think, that white people must think that everybody wants and desires them.

    I was on a web site not too long ago where a black women asked this question, that is, how come it seems that so many brown people desire white people. When a white man answered truthfully why he thought that was, the black women got mad! I crack ed Up!!!

  • iforgotitall

    I haven’t watched the show. Yet, I think the show mirrors the reality of many minorities in corporate America. If you are in mid or upper management, you often ARE the only minority. Having scores of different races of folks and it would not look like any corporate office I have ever seen.

  • iforgotitall

    @sparger. Well it’s her show and if she wants to be the prize bunny. That’s how it will be. Once again, if we want to be “special” we have to write the roles ourselves, otherwise we will always be the loud, fat sidekick.

  • MsSmeeg

    “Showing black characters that have successful relationships within their own communities a level of strength that is threatening to white people.”

    I wonder why that would be? I mean, what do our relationships have to do with them? Why would it affect their lives?
    I’m not challenging you, I know that what you stated is true, it’s just that the way Whites think just confuses me most of the time.

  • Akua

    I have been saying this for ages. I am here for interracial relationships but i don’t understand why black love isn’t celebrated on mainstream TV too. It’s even worse in the UK there are very few black people on TV and when they are, they are in interracial relationships. I get that the mainstream audience are white but this is it so hard to see a black couple or is there an for them ulterior motive. And what message is that sending to the young generation who watching these shows. It’s not racist to what to see the trails and triumphs of black love with all it’s nuances on TV. Yet whenever people show their concern about the lack of black relationship on TV, people declare they are against interracial relationships.

  • Akua

    I agree Shonda Rhimes has had ample opportunity to tackle this problem but has not. She had 10 yrs and 3 shows and still no interesting black relationships. At the moment a black couple Stephanie and Jackson are together, but their relationship looks like it is built to fail. Jackson will probably end up with April by Season 10.
    On Scandal for example. Edison the black ex of Olivia was never suppose to be a viable love interest for Olivia. But the white Navy bud with all his issues was. I love seeing interracial relationship but i hate the constant propaganda that as a black person if you want to be succcessful and married, white is the best way to go. I don’t know why we can’t celebrate black love too.

  • Akua

    But if you see Deception most of the fans where shipping the interracial couple instead of the girl with the black guy and it was set up that way. The black love interest Edison was never supposed to be a real love interest, now the real contender for Olivia’s affections is Jake, once again a white love interest.

  • Akua

    yeah i was kind of done when i saw the black nurse saying all that stereotypical shit clearly for the white mainstream audiences benefit.

  • http://gravatar.com/memeisme81 memeisme81

    THat was a cheap shot- I assume you’re a black woman…the last thing black men & women need to do is attack one another. Like it or not, we came over on the same ship and now we’re in the same boat.

  • http://gravatar.com/memeisme81 memeisme81

    @ guest -

    that’s exactly what they think – I actually had a coworker walk up to me, point to his necklace and say ‘bling, bling’ :)

  • 9Boots

    There some kind of new disease out there affecting black men causing them to stalk black women centered websites and spew negative non supportive comments especially when no one asked for their one cent? I think the disease is called Abusive Beta Black Male Troll Syndrome (A.B.B.M.T.S). How do we cure it?

  • http://gravatar.com/memeisme81 memeisme81

    MsSmeeg

    September 21, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    “Showing black characters that have successful relationships within their own communities a level of strength that is threatening to white people.”

    I wonder why that would be? I mean, what do our relationships have to do with them? Why would it affect their lives?
    I’m not challenging you, I know that what you stated is true, it’s just that the way Whites think just confuses me most of the time.

    It’s not that confusing- the strength, beauty, passion and comittment of a strong Black romance is threatening and disconcerting to some whites. Our strength lies in loving relationships towards one another-and they know that-but apparently we have problems showing that.

  • Starla

    @trueletterson

    Because when a woman has nobody to protect her body and she does not have the strength of a man, there really is nothing she can do if a man wants to possess her body. Nothing! Even the skinniest, lightweight man can overpower the average woman. How could Black women of the past protect their bodies from white men, when Black men who have man strength could not protect their own bodies? Many a Black man were raped by white men too to break them, does that mean they too ran into the arms of white men? Why these men, some of whom were warriors could not protect themselves from mere men like themselves? Yet, you want to insult women who don’t possess the physical strength to fight men with any chance of winning.

  • http://gravatar.com/berkeleygirl0123 lawyerette

    Quite the opposite. I think it’s important that Black women are recognized in popular culture as being attractive, sexy and desirable. The fact that these characters are paired up with non-POC men suggests to me that attitudes regarding interracial dating have begun to relax, at least in the “female POC/white male” context.

    God knows I’ve been watching black men chase White/Asian women down the street for years. It’s high time Black women in particular (and, of course, ALL female POC) feel that they have the right to explore the same range of options.

    Also: please note that for most of these characters, their level of education/professional environment places them in contact with MORE white men. Is that their fault? Why shouldn’t they be seen dating/sleeping with men who are their professional/educational/intellectual equals?

    Why do Black/POC women always have to “stay true to the race”? Black men (in particular) aren’t worried about that, let me assure you.

  • LocsG

    I’m sorry, I just have to say, white men and black women in the UK is not really commonplace. It definitely happens but in little pockets that you don’t often see in the open. White women and black men though.. everydamnwhere. Black women and white men on tv? In a SERIOUS STABLE relationship? Honestly, can’t think of one (I may be wrong but none spring to mind right now)

  • sparger

    Less options. The world has changed. Cable TV has changed the landscape of television. All those channels that just you to show reruns now have first run shows. People used to just watch whats on .Now they don’t have to.

  • 9Boots

    @ Brad

    Black demographics dot com

    2010 stats indicate only 32% of blacks are married. Your stats are displaying the characteristics of the 32% of black people that are married. Yes, of the 32% black marriage rate, 89% of black men (all income levels combined) marry black women.

    However your stats do not change the fact that black people have the lowest marriage rate. The only thing your stats display is THE MORE MONEY A BLACK MAN EARNS, THE MORE LIKELY HE IS TO MARRY A NON BLACK WOMAN.

  • Amber

    I found this article interesting. In the case of the “Mindy Project”. She doesn’t cast Back, Asian or Hispanic men. Exception one episode in season on in which she goes into a night club proclaims “Black guys love Indian chicks” and lands a date with a white man. And as for “Scandal” Shonda Rhymes casting is appropriate to the climate of Washington DC politics. Even though we currently have a African American president. Most high level staffers, lawyers and lobbyist are white.

  • Knowledge

    Take black men out of the equation- for second

    TV is a powerful thing, Black women were actually more desirable to everyone when they were cast with other races of men not only white, But if you’re only seen with white men on tv(who are paired with asian,latina, white women majority of the time), how will Asian, Latino and Arab men view you as desirable? You indirectly put these men under white men(as the ASIAN author states).. these men will also indirectly put you under their race of women and white women- which is what is happening now.

    This isnt even about Black Men as you make it because majority dont watch tv shows with no black men in it, its about upholding white supremacy over asian men, latino men, middle eastern men.

    black women can be seen as sexy, attractive with white men but what difference does it make if other latinas, asians, white women (majority of the time) get the same kind of roles- its only saying white men have the more options over asian,latino,middle eastern men.

  • http://clutchmagonline Felicia

    Should it be pointed out, that the pairing of black women with non- black men on television is not an accurate reflection of what you see in real like. I hardy ever see a white man with a black women in real life.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    This! I have no problem with the interracial aspect of shows especially if it involves black women who usually bear the blunt of TV stereotypes but why is it always the status quo pairing of black and white. The only show where I actively see a pairing that is different is the show Twisted on ABC family where the guy is Indian and the girl is black. I think if entertainment and media is going to do this trend then they need to expand their definition of interracial because it seems like when people say interracial they assume it is a pairing between black and white when that isn’t the case especially in real life so I don’t believe in the theory that TV is reflecting real life. Finally, I do think their is an agenda with not showing nonwhite couples pairing. I think it reinforces the idea that if it doesn’t involve white people in some way in the media then it shouldn’t exist or won’t get green lighted because it becomes “ethic”, I mean god forbids the media shows an intraracial couples besides white in a loving, fun relationship and going through the human experience. Honestly, I think TV just needs a change up because the formula they are using is outdated.

  • soapbubble1

    When Olivia was paired with Edison on Scandal, it was black fans who kept bitching and calling the man Pudding Pop.

  • Sandy248

    People date and marry whoever they want so it’s no need to get upset about it. I for one don’t really consider OJ Simpson and other athletes that much of a loss.

  • _poisonandlove

    Everyone wants the coolness of being black but no one wants the oppression. White people listen to rap which is a part of black culture. So I call bull on that. They are just pushing their agenda, attempting to make everyone belIeve we live in a post racist world

  • Joyous

    The beautiful Kerry Washington just married that handsome Nigerian guy that plays football for the 49ers. I think it is a beautiful thing that Black American women are dating and marrying African men. I would love to see TV shows and films about intercultural relationships among Black people. That would be fascinating. There are so many different cultures of Black people in this world. The Black and White American interracial couple discussions are just boring at this point. There’s nothing more to say that hasn’t already been said. They are as common a couple as the White and Asian interracial couple. I am more interested in seeing and discussing other types of couples, both in real life and in the media.

  • http://gravatar.com/kmichelpress K. Michel

    Are women of color only allowed to have White love interests on network TV?

    Only when they’re dating or perpetually single, do women of color have White love interests on network television. When they’re older or already married, then their love interests are usually of the same race. On network television, I’d even go as far as to say when women of color are “girls of color”, or kids, do they have love interests that share their own racial group.

    From the other perspective, when men and boys are watching this dynamic play out, they see that White men are experiencing the fun of dating and sexual relationships when it comes to women of color. Whereas men of color experience the more sexually reluctant, generally unenticing part of the relationship with women of color (albeit, different individual women).

    Think “Everybody Hates Chris”; the relationship between Rochelle and Julius. Rochelle, as good as she looks, is not a woman I’d want to be in a relationship with. The funny thing is, if the show portrayed Julius and Rochelle in the dating phase during their 20′s and 30′s, I have no doubt that she’d look like the kind of woman I’d want to have a relationship with… but then she’d probably be in this dating phase with a White man (especially with how worried she was of Julius secretly seeing a White woman behind her back).

    So we’d be where we started all over again.

    All of this, including men of color having White love interests on most of scripted television today, is helping to alienate men and women of color in the real world. I don’t believe it’s a conspiracy theory like most do on here. Rather I believe it’s an unintended byproduct of the lack of diversity we see in the media today.

  • ScriptTease

    White men are trying to climb up on the same pedestal as everyone seems to put white women. You rarely see Black Love being televised. Everything happens for a reason.

  • ScriptTease

    Not sure who thumbed you down, and giving I said something similar, I’m sure the thumbs down is coming my way. But you hit the nail on the head.

  • ScriptTease

    Because Love is Power…. and Black Love is a Powerful thing, but unfortunately, we don’t have, nor do we see enough of it dramatized for the whole world to enjoy. People can receive hope through different ways. Sometimes a good love story, if told right, will cause you to get right with your estranged spouse or whomever you’re in a relationship with. WE DON’T SEE ENOUGH OF BLACK LOVE for our entertainment pleasure. We don’t see enough of Black Positive anything.

  • ScriptTease

    I’m sure once it’s all said and done,and the REAL Black men who’ve dated White Women, desire to have a Black Woman they click with. Although I’m single/divorced…. I love my Black Men, and I have no problem with remaining single until I find one who gives me everlasting chills/goosebumps.

  • ScriptTease

    …. True, and a lot us are in denial

  • ScriptTease

    Well I hate if for em’ because if I have anything to do with it, Black Love on the Silver Screen is about to make one powerful positive impact, and the anticipation is killing me. :)

  • joe

    The message is very clear. If a black woman is thin, attractive and childless she is worthy of a white man. It is white supremacy masquerading as racial diversity.

  • Brad

    I agree that would be interesting to see but, I would point out that her husband is an American.

    His parents hail from Nigeria, but Asomugha himself was born in Lafayette, La., and raised in Southern California, where he made a name for himself playing football and basketball at L.A.’s Narbonne High School.

  • kissofdanger

    I hate this article becuase it takes a somewhat legit point and uses it to push an agenda. Where was this convo when black men were being paired with every other race and skin color under the sun? Now that we see black women being seen as desireable it’s a problem? Now you sound the alarm? I find this article to be an insult to my intelligence. Why does everything black people do must have some pathology attached to it? Why is black love seen as an obligation? Because that is always how we speak about it especially when black women are involved. I do agree that we should see functioning black families but when we did the women were light skinned as hell and the men were as black as night usually. Where were the complaints then? We have networks targeted towards blacks so please take your complaints there. Men always have a problem when women of their own race start to enjoy the same freedoms they do. As awful as black men have portrayed black women you have no right to complain. At least none of the shows that show women of color paired with other men are making the men of color look bad. Interracial couples are a good thing because the shaming these couples and their offspring get should not be swept under a rug. That needs to be discussed too.

  • MommieDearest

    @trueletterson

    So you think that our sister ancestors had a CHOICE in the matter?

    Actually, alot of them DID exercise their choice. Many African women threw themselves overboard during the middle passage, preferring to die on their own terms than continue being used by white men.

  • Akua

    I know even more disturbing. But they were set up to love Olivia and Fitz and not to love Edison (the guy was not as attractive) but it’s funny that as messed up as Jake is he definitely has a fan base that Edison never had.

  • Akua

    I must mention i don’t believe that if Fitz was black these black women would give him a pass on everything, some of them are living their interracial fantasies through Olivia and Fitz that part of why they hated Edison. Sad really because most of these women are grown

  • Nic

    It’s like Paul Mooney says “Everybody wants to be black, but nobody want to BE black.”

  • Nic

    B/c a lot of them like to think that we are pathologically dysfunctional, more likely to be criminals, unable to make sound decisions, and prone to succumbing to our most basic human instincts.
    So if you show black people who have jobs, who are well-educated, who are in healthy and successful relationships, it threatens the white hegemony, and the idea that they are the most functional, normal, and worthy people in this country. It threatens the meritocracy myth.
    So they do actually worry about us a lot, and do NOT like to promote positive images of our lives to themselves, to use, or to anyone else in the world.
    Remember again how much it blew Mitt Romney’s mind to lose to the “black guy” last year. He had no concession speech and had his presidental webiste launched. Crazy.

  • 9Boots

    Suppressing the truth, denial is in full effect

    Pew Research
    Published 2011
    In 2010 more than half (55%) of whites are married, a decline from 74% in 1960. Among Hispanics, 48% are married, compared with 72% in 1960. AMONG BLACKS, ONLY 31% ARE MARRIED (this is including a black person that has married interracially), compared with 61% in 1960.

    Barely Half of U.S. Adults Are Married – A Record Low
    New Marriages Down 5% from 2009 to 2010 pew social trends dot org

    Census
    2010,
    The median age at first marriage for black women was 30.0 years in contrast with 26.4 years for white women.
    The median age at first marriage for black men was 30.7 years, compared with 27.8 years for white men.

    25 percent of black men and black women aged 35 and older were NEVER married by age 35.

    20 percent of black women aged 45 and older were NEVER married compared with 7 percent of white women aged 45 and older. Furthermore, 20 percent of black men aged 45 and older in 2010 had never been married compared with 9 percent of white men aged 45 and older.

    See census dot gov
    Historical Marriage Trends from 1890-2010: A Focus on Race Differences SEHSD Working Paper Number 2012-12

    Black Demographics
    In 2010 48.8% of black men (all ages) are “NEVER MARRIED” compared to 45.2% of black women (all ages) which is up from 44% in 2008 and 42,7% in 2005.

    Black Demographics dot com

    New York Times
    Published: January 29, 2011
    Who Is Marrying Whom: Infographic
    Black men marrying interracially more then twice the times of black women

    nytimes dot com interactive mixedrace

    Clutch Magazine
    Black men were more than twice as likely as black women to marry someone outside their race 24% to 9%

    Study: Interracial Marriages At All Time High, And It’s Not Just Black & White February 16, 2012 by Britini Danielle

    Mixed Nation dot com
    2013
    Black men close to marrying interracially three times more then black women

    Look Who’s Coming to Dinner; Interracial Marriage on the Rise Infographic

  • Akua

    There are so many interested and different black story to tell but they keep telling the same ones. Surely white people are bored enough by too

  • Nic

    And let’s not ignore that they already have black men paired with white women on TV. I think the real issue/problem is that white people don’t like black women portrayed as being anyone that a successful, attractive, white man would choose FIRST.
    I mean, we’ve seen several shows, Girls, Community, Psych, The Office, that show with the Wayans son and apparently coming up on the New Girl where a black male dated a non-black woman.
    It’s a lot more common to show white women (or at least non-black women) as the women everyone shoudl want, and to show black men as only being able to have happy relationships when they dump black women for good.
    So why the hand wringing b/c a couple of beautiful black women are paired with white men?

  • Nic

    Well, on the Office it fit her character. I don’t watch her show but it is odd not to have POC in the background at least, or to not acknowledge that she is a certain “type” if her character is socially like Kelly Kapoor.

  • Nic

    Yeah, it is weird that black men have no problem with each other when they are chasing white, Asian, Mexican, etc. women but the minute a black woman steps out with a non-black man it is suddenly a problem.
    They need to check themselves b/c if a BW is with a non-black man, it’s b/c he asked her, and not b/c she thinks they are better looking and more desirable than BM. At this point, a lot of my friends are married to non-black man and I can tell you that NONE of them expected to marry anything other than a black man and most of them ignored non-black men for years until they felt that limiting their options wasn’t yielding good results. Most went into those first dates like, whatever, I’m not going to hear from this dude again (and with zero expectation to really want to see him again) and it was funny how many of them wound up married to those same non-black guys.

  • MommieDearest

    @MsSmeeg

    It all goes back to “divide and conquer.”

    Not withstanding the election of Barrack Obama, as that is a whole ‘nother issue, the last time black people were TRULY united was during the Civil Rights Movement. We changed our country and the world because we came together. IMO, there is no way we could have accomplished that if it weren’t for the internal love we had for each other, for our strong families, and our strong communities. Love and unity is power.

    A people who love each other, build up their own communities and put themselves first, then reproduce and pass this legacy on to future generations, become a force to be reckoned with. They cannot be manipulated or controlled; thus they continue to prosper and become powerful.

    Certain white people recognize this. That is why they have used the “divide and conquer” technique throughout the ages to subjugate other peoples world wide.

    Right now, there is a rift between black men and black women and it is in the best interests of those in power (who created the circumstances for that rift long ago) to let it fester and grow wider. They don’t want black people to see the beauty and value within ourselves or one another, so they continue to push the “preference” for others (particularly white) as being progressive, trendy, hip and “post-racial.”

    There have been many studies done on subliminal messaging the affect of media on the subconscious. Trust and believe, these people know exactly what they are doing. None of this is coincidence or happenstance, or simply “what sells.”

  • Nic

    Yeah, I like Luther, but that is a big pet peeve of mine as well, although the actress that played his wife was a light-skinned Indian, not White.
    I feel as if the British shows that I watch do a better job of having people of all colors as main and supporting characters, b/c even if we are segregated in our personal lives, our work lives are pretty integrated, so it is ridiculous to have shows that have mostly white characters but that are in cities.
    I know the UK isn’t more progressive than than the US, but that little bit sits a bit better with me.
    Of course I was annoyed that on Sherlock, they had a BW who also was quite a pill, so I was kind of like really? Do the Brits like to promote the angry black woman stereotype too?

  • Nic

    Well, J.Lo is frequently cast as non-Latino characters. They’ll make her Italian so in terms of the story, it will be white on white loving…

  • https://plus.google.com/105836458383146772971 Sharon Leggett

    And I believe Mindy herself has said she finds white men attractive and that blonde & blue-eyed is her type. She also said she resents that as a WOC she shouldn’t be shown dating white guys. She said she shouldn’t have to be the ‘U.N. of dating’. I have no interest in her or her show.

  • knowledge

    @kissofdanger Again – I think many of the black women are here putting alot of this article on black men-
    1) The author of the article is an ASIAN man – the person who reblogged it is a black woman neither is a black man. Majority of black men are not complaining or mad- majority of black men did not know, about scandal or deception outside of knowing kerry or megan, as majority of black men dont watch those shows.

    2) The author is an ASIAN man speaking on HIS perspective of white supremacy, for alot of black men, white men having options with women of color is nothing new. BUt to this ASIAN author, it rasies some questions – your average black man already answered years ago! White men have option with women of color in real life and TV. If anything the author should stop complaining and follow what Black men did create their own attractiness in their own field/industry that attracts other races of women.

    3) I dont see your average black man(who isnt an internet troll) complaining for the simple fact, Black men have carved out their nitch in pop/hiphop/sports to expand their option of different races of women, which has worked its way into urban culture in the younger generation. – To be honest White women are out of style, – so that beats the whole white supremacy -that some feel black men have. Right now in hip hop its about Asian women, Latina women Persian middle eastern women and other exotic looking women. -

  • Ads

    Ha! My husband is brazilian and always says americans invent sports like football so they can be thr best since no one else plays ( unlike soccer.) so hearing their was a nigerian in the nfl made me scratch my head like howd he get turned on to that. This makes more sense.

  • joe

    “As awful as black men have portrayed black women you have no right to complain.” When exactly have white men EVER portrayed black women in a positive light. Those black women who actually have interracial dating options have never needed encouragement to “explore” them. I don’t know even one black woman who would refuse to date a high quality white man. So if these relationships are not occurring at a high rate it is because white men are not pursuing them. The fact remains that black men are far more likely to date, fall in love with and marry a black woman than even the most socially liberal white men are. That will never change because race is a crucial factor in housing, healthcare, justice and employment and everything else. If you believe it isn’t equally important in choosing a mate you’re dreaming. Date as many white men as you want but don’t try to justify it by bashing brothers.

  • Ads

    Thank you pseudonym: people say if u repeat a life enough it becomes the truth. It’s absolutely a lie that white america ( and global audiences) wont watch black shows. My host mom when i studied abroad lived the fresh prince of bel air and she is indigenous/ native brasilian. Good shows w characters that ring true wil succeed.

  • knowledge

    The most weird thing to read from some of the women is that “black men are complaining in this article” when clearly the author is an ASIAN male, and the co author who reblogged this is a BLACK women. NO where does it mention black men or black women- The author jethra seems concerned because of MINDY- the asian women who chases white men because he’s asian also.

    For black man- that concern has come and gone for the most part which is why you see urban black culture, including Latinas, dark Asians, middle eastern women as the prime love interest of black men esp in hip hop and sports- White women are going out of style,(so that beats white supremacy) with younger black men to them its more about “exoticcal” looking women. white being the least attractive

  • 9Boots

    @ Joe, back to that 25% of black women are married to black men.

    Suppressing the truth, denial is in full effect

    Pew Research
    Published 2011
    In 2010 more than half (55%) of whites are married, a decline from 74% in 1960. Among Hispanics, 48% are married, compared with 72% in 1960. AMONG BLACKS, ONLY 31% ARE MARRIED (this is including a black person that has married interracially), compared with 61% in 1960.

    Barely Half of U.S. Adults Are Married – A Record Low
    New Marriages Down 5% from 2009 to 2010 pew social trends dot org

    Census
    2010,
    The median age at first marriage for black women was 30.0 years in contrast with 26.4 years for white women.
    The median age at first marriage for black men was 30.7 years, compared with 27.8 years for white men.

    25 percent of black men and black women aged 35 and older were NEVER married by age 35.

    20 percent of black women aged 45 and older were NEVER married compared with 7 percent of white women aged 45 and older. Furthermore, 20 percent of black men aged 45 and older in 2010 had never been married compared with 9 percent of white men aged 45 and older.

    See census dot gov
    Historical Marriage Trends from 1890-2010: A Focus on Race Differences SEHSD Working Paper Number 2012-12

    Black Demographics
    In 2010 48.8% of black men (all ages) are “NEVER MARRIED” compared to 45.2% of black women (all ages) which is up from 44% in 2008 and 42,7% in 2005.

    Black Demographics dot com

    New York Times
    Published: January 29, 2011
    Who Is Marrying Whom: Infographic
    Black men marrying interracially more then twice the times of black women

    nytimes dot com interactive mixedrace

    Clutch Magazine
    Black men were more than twice as likely as black women to marry someone outside their race 24% to 9%

    Study: Interracial Marriages At All Time High, And It’s Not Just Black & White February 16, 2012 by Britini Danielle

    Mixed Nation dot com
    2013
    Black men close to marrying interracially three times more then black women

    Look Who’s Coming to Dinner; Interracial Marriage on the Rise Infographic

  • http://gravatar.com/berkeleygirl0123 lawyerette

    I agree 100% but accidentally hit the “dislike” button, so I’m commenting to clarify.

    Thank you – I have never understood why black women are the only ones to suffer this sort of brow-beating. It’s nonsense.

  • guest

    @kissofdanger

    For the millionth time, the author of this piece IS NOT A BLACK MAN. He is Asian. I know its hard to believe, but black men have NOTHING to do with this. It seems like you want to play some sick game of tit for tat.

    “Where was this convo when black men were being paired with every other race and skin color under the sun? ”

    Black men have spoken out on numerous occasions about black women cosigning all of these ambiguous WOC.

    If a black man is with her, he’s colorstruck.

    If a white man is with her, she’s a “beautiful black woman” and this is proof positive that BLACK WOMEN are desirable and its just so sad that black men can’t recognize the true beauty of a black woman. Right?

    But when these faux “black women” started replacing you en masse in movies, television, and other forms of media, black women got real silent. The nail in the coffin was Zoe Saldana playing Nina Simone. I think they even had the nerve to cast Thandie Newton as an Igbo woman in some movie.

    We tried to tell you but you didn’t want to listen. Now look at what passes for a “black woman” in mainstream media. Melissa Harris Perry. Soledad O’Brien. Really?

    “Now that we see black women being seen as desireable it’s a problem? ”

    You’re being depicted as desirable all right. But its not quite in the same way that I think most black women would like to be seen. When you finally realize what’s really going on I’m sure it will make your skin crawl.

    “As awful as black men have portrayed black women you have no right to complain.”

    Please direct me to the production studios, distribution companies, and TV networks that black men own and control that are responsible for pumping out these negative images of black women. Can’t do it? It’s because they don’t exist.

    How can you have such an extreme level of cognitive dissonance? It is the white man who is responsible for your “awful depictions”. The same goes for black men.

    You know this but for some reason you refuse to point the finger where it belongs. The white man is evil and your savior at the same time. The black man is just evil. And unfortunately, I have yet to see either group come to black women’s rescue.

    It’s just as retarded as Naomi Campbell and the other models forming some coalition to FORCE white men to represent them more in high fashion. Are you serious? The same group of men who put you down are supposed to lift you up?…They don’t have to and they don’t want to. It’s as simple as that.

    And for the last time, the hatred and vitriol concerning interracial relationships is one-sided. Everyone is okay with IR as long as a black man isn’t included. That goes for black women, white men, Asians, Hispanics, Arabs, Indians, etc.

    How else can you explain the diametrically opposing reactions Scandal and the infamous Cheerios commercial happening at the same time in this country?

    Black women are throwing a parade and white men were silent about Scandal, which is probably in multiple seasons by now.

    Black women and white men lost their minds over a 2 minute commercial where a black man was in frame for 10 seconds. Both groups were all over the internet and youtube spewing their ignorance and hatred for black men.

    See the hypocrisy?

    And the queen of IR promotion Christelyn Karazin had the nerve to say that even though Kerry Washington married a black man, she STILL represents the “spirit” of beyond black and white.

    Not one black woman checked her for that outrageously disrespectful and thirsty statement.

    “Why is black love seen as an obligation? ”

    “Men always have a problem when women of their own race start to enjoy the same freedoms they do.”

    Apparently you see black love as some obligation judging by these two statements in juxtaposition.

    Pure delusion. Do I have to point out that there was never a starting point for black women to “enjoy” anything? White men have had unlimited access to black women since you’ve been here. There is no one standing in the way.

    And yet it’s really not happening like that for black women or black men, regardless of the constant barrage of images that promote and encourage IR relationships between blacks and whites. The statistics don’t lie. Other races are not checking for us like that. PERIOD. We’re not even checking for each other like that. Our marriage rates are IN THE TOILET across the board.

    And finally, dating IR shouldn’t be looked at as a come-up, especially when everyone else looks at dating black people as falling off. If you really feel like you’re “enjoying freedoms” instead of living your life by dating IR, then perhaps you should check yourself first before you involve an innocent person of any race into your life.

    I’m sorry you see yourself and your own race in such a poor light.

  • Red Pill

    Wow. I have to say it.

    Comments on this recycled topic that only serves as a perpetual distraction – 126

    Comments on Chicago being the murder capital of the U.S. – 12

    Yup… Glad to know what’s really important to the “backbone of the black community”.

    Who gives a damn about dead black children? Validation and feeling desired matters more. Do you think I’m pretty Mr. Charlie?

    I just can’t… My typical jeremiad would fall on deaf ears.

  • kissofdanger

    Actually all men use that standard. In real life it doesn’t play out that way. Trust and believe I do see big men marrying big women.

  • kissofdanger

    Actually I wouldn’t say hardly. TV doesn’t always represent real life nor should it.

  • Jess

    well maybe they are trying to emulate reality, I don’t know the statistics for america but the amount of interracial relationships are rising and may outnumber same race relationships, so maybe there isn’t a massive conspiracy and simply just art imitating life, imagine.

  • kissofdanger

    How can you say that when you did nothing but blame interracial relationships for the lack of “black love”? The OP did the same thing too.

  • Knowledge

    Actually the first mulatto children in africa were the product or arab men their african concubines/wives which brought islam, the next wave were European traders/sailors with African women usually the daughter of chiefs or kings- these male children benefited as middle men who enslaved other africans thus creating an “elite mulatto class” in many coastal african cities.

  • kissofdanger

    I agree about the browbeating, and the timing of this article is suspect. Men of all races always complain when their women are finally shown as viable options. Let me point out that people see whites as attractive for the wrong reasons. (white supremacy) However the original reason why whites are seen as attractive got lost in the sands of time. The same thing will occur for black women in the future.

  • joe

    White men have long felt entitled to the most physically attractive black women. White women feel entitled to the best educated and highest earning black men. Only WE can challenge their sense of entitlement.

  • Entro

    No it’s not that whites are desired by everyone, it’s the desire of the writers or the demographic (white) that they are marketing to and for.As long as television and other entertaintment is seen through the prism of the so called white majority,they will always include themselves as the standard. So your statement is false on many levels,I for one have never had a desire for or thought of whites as desirable

  • 9Boots

    @ Red Pill

    Typing key strokes is not going to change what is going on in Chicago or anywhere else. When black men decide to step up and take responsibility for their abandonment of their sons and return to one another and teach Manhood 101 all the way up to the Expert level then you will see change. The only other option is a heavy police presence or Stop & Frisk.

  • 9Boots

    @ Guest

    For the love of God, we clearly understand the author is Asian. The reason we are mentioning black men is because every time there is a discussion concerning black women dating interracially or it being in the media via Hollywood droves of black men think it is their responsibility to put in their one cent. It’s none of their business what black women decide to do. You mention the marriage rate is in the toilet, who’s fault is that? Black women are not obligated to cleave to a group of men that have no interest in cleaving to them except for the purpose of sex and money.

  • Anthony

    Even socially conscious people need meaningless distractions. We all know how horrible it is among young kids, especially boys, in Chicago and other cities. The fact is that real social reforms are damn hard to implement or even imagine. White men and black women on television has social significance but it is not going to depress someone for the rest of the night.

  • joe

    The disparity in interracial marriage rates between black men and black women is NOT because black women are unwilling to date and marry white men. Black women can’t force white men to do anything they don’t want to do. Marriage is a bilateral agreement. Most white men have no problem having sex with a sister. Many of them have a “black woman” on their personal to-do list. But very few have any desire for a black wife or black offspring.

  • http://enchantedroots.wordpress.com Najat

    I’m for love of any kind, but can’t help but notice black children have no chances to see loving relationships BETWEEN black people on television. We published our first black fairy tale, The Prince and Timberance, complete with maiden and prince, and hope that it will do its part to represent love–black on black love is a huge minority in mainstream entertainment, no matter the age group.

  • 9Boots

    @ Joe

    I see you have A.B.B.M.T.S

    A new disease affecting black men causing them to stalk black women centered websites and spew negative non supportive comments especially when no one asked for their one cent called Abusive Beta Black Male Troll Syndrome (A.B.B.M.T.S).

    You imply other races don’t want black women hence implying black women are ugly and no one but black men wants us. You are completely false, the only thing slowing down the BW interracial marriage rate is that black women are still foolishly cleaving to the fantasy concept of black love ( which is dead weight).

    So get your cure called MANHOOD and get the heck off of BW sites.

  • 9Boots

    @ Joe

    You ( and other black men) can challenge their sense of entitlement by marrying thin, attractive and childless black women instead of trying to make them a baby momma or a member of your harem.. See how simple it is.

  • MommieDearest

    @SayWhat?

    “Oh but to pair black men with everything light/white does not reinforce that same supremecy?”

    Speaking for myself, I don’t think the 2 are mutually exclusive. IMO one is the same as the other- they both promote that “white is right.”

  • Knowledge

    AS a black man see nothing wrong in white-men +WOC, its just white men simply being white men. Black men do the same thing in Urban culture in regards to Latinas asians and “Exxotical” women. I dont think Black men are complaining, I think the ASIAN author is, this is kind of stale news to many black men.

    Many minority men and women (besides black men) who date inter-racially do like white standard of beauty esp latino, asian, middle eastern people. who watch white shows, that most black men dont.

    i say besides black men because the new trend among young black men is dating “exotic women ” not white women :/due to hip hop/sports- your average video vixen these days are not white (or even redbones) – they are Nazanin Mandi ,daphne joy, tahiry jose, karrueche tran, tae heckard, kim k, kind of women. Hip hop also influences some of these “urban Asian,Latina,Middle eastern” women to seek out young black men-namely money flaunting, flashy rapper or athlete wannabe urban black guys.

    Black men are the face of urban culture, they wont let that go, i would suppose white guys are the face of mainstream culture in america – they DEF wont let that go.

  • http://gravatar.com/gparson vintage3000

    Come back when Black males have carved out a niche of teaching the younger generation of urban culture how to pull up their pants over their butt cracks, and to stop shooting not only at each other but also bystanders as well. Let us know when that’s in style for ya’ll.

  • Joyous

    Scan the audience of tonights Emmy’s. Its like People of Color don’t exist period, except for the very few sprinkled here and there. Looks like a 1950′s sitcom. Hollywood is like an unmovable force of oppositon when it comes to opportunities and awards for people who reflect the racial and cultural landscape of the U.S. This is why I am for Black people coming together GLOBALLY to create opportunities for each other. Dihanne Carroll is still the ONLY Black person to win an Emmy for a lead character. Just one, and I will forever respect that woman. I wanted Kerry Washington to win tonight. She is an incredible actress. Amazing beauty and talent. Most of all, she appears to have an amazing mind and spirit. She should have won that Emmy.

  • http://twitter.com/cbmts cbmts (@cbmts)

    black women can help by not sleeping with bums and expecting them to be outstanding citizens overnight. you have power over what you let happen to you, so start acting like it.

  • SayWhat

    Here’s something to chew on, why does it always fall on a black woman’s shoulders to fix everything that is broken in the black community?

    Your rant would have been more effective if posted on a male centered board. Chicago is the sh#tfest that it is because there are no ‘men’ there to act as protectors/leaders. It is so bad that you have clueless, but well meaning women who are trying to patrol the streets. In every other community this is something that ‘men’ do. So no, I am not going to worry myself about Chicago, but you are free to list everything that you have done to combat the violence there.

  • http://www.lillian-mae.com Knotty Natural

    What was the white man’s response?

  • donnadara

    Hollywood thinks that if a show has a black couple front and center, that makes it a black show. And white people won’t want to watch it. The same way that in the movies the black leading men in mainstream films hardly ever have a black partner.

  • knowledge

    There are popular urban artist like kanye, asap rocky, miguel jontel, kid cudi wiz khalifa and many more artist who are rnb or “backpack rappers” who aren’t thugs or rap about guns- urban youths are still influenced by these rappers/rnb singers choice of. “Exotic” women.

    Not only black males but urban latino,asian middle eastern males who follow urban culture. My nephews are. In highschool do not listen to thug music but are fans of kanye asap rocky, wiz khalifa, big sean and other “back pack (non thuggish). rappers”- they were tight clothes and skinny jeans – many young black men after my generations dress like this and are far from thugs- but are kanye west type of guys

    they almost exclusively date these “exotic females” (not white women) because that’s what they seek out influenced by urban culture trends – that’s my point

  • dirtychai

    Go ‘head now!

  • Joan

    Personally, I don’t see a problem with it. The white man is powerful enough to put the white woman up on a pedestal for her to get all of the benefits that go along with that. Since certain black men don’t tend to want something unless it’s prized by the most powerful in society, maybe this could work in our favor. LOL.

  • Joan

    Don’t worry…she’ll get BET and NAACP awards. I’m sure she’s practicing her speech of fake elation right now. (Whenever I watch those award shows, I always feel as if the winners who are really successful in the mainstream would much rather be someplace else.)

  • dirtychai

    True. Do you know how many white males I’ve heard utter the words “I wish I was Black”? Basically meaning that they wish they could be like what they see on TV.

  • Brad

    I think you meant this comment for the Kerry Washington artcle.

  • Afrostyling

    Come talk to me when you start taking white women to task for only bedding/dating white men on screen. GTFO! As for Mindy, ever think that maybe the reason why all her men are white is because ALL of these men on the show are her real life friends probably doing her a favor? Even if they weren’t her friends, she can cast any race she wants cos its her show. Black woman gets a job and people just have to find something negative to say about it. I’m over it. Whine whine whine!

  • MommieDearest

    Post the name of your book and where to buy/order it.

  • Afrostyling

    What the hell are we supposed to do about people choosing to kill themselves? Am i supposed to start crying cos gangbangers are taking shots at eachother? Im confused?

  • Knowledge

    Black men and women not all but those who date interracially, even ones with high educational attainment are going in different directions.

    1) For majority of educated black women- who dates inter-racially, her choice would be white men BEFORE other men from minority races.

    2)For majority of educated black man who wants to date inter-racially, his choice would be dating educated but still “urban cultured” Latinas- Ricans, Dominicans, brazilians, Columbians, Hawaiian, dark Asians,Cambodian, filipinas, thai,Chinese Persian,Arab, Armenian, Middle eastern, anything mixed with black women BEFORE “White women”.

    Nothing wrong with that, but to think “certain Black men” want what white men want based on mainstream society is FALSE maybe if he’s from “Clarence Thomas” generation. LOL

    Take a look at NYC- LA, San fransico, Miami- Cities that have large minorities dating wise, its usually the black man dating other minorities, while black women dates white only.

  • lunanoire

    From another perspective, the marriage rate of african american men is quite low, so it’s a good idea for african american women who want to marry should cast a wide net ethnically speaking. Even if 90% of BM marry BW, if only 40% of them marry, then that’s pretty low. As BW are minorities in the US, a high percentage of non-black men don’t have to be interested in BW in order for casting a wide net to be effective for BW.

  • lunanoire

    The random biracial character, whether a daughter, mother, neighbor or otherwise, is usually a girl or woman.

    Yep, just like the movie Baggage Claim, most of the female characters with attractive, wealthy suitors are mixed– Paula Patton, La La, and Tia or Tamera. Jill Scott seems like the supportive thick friend, rather than a person with the same social capital as Paula Patton’s character. As an unambiguously black woman, i am not paying for that.

  • MommieDearest

    @Knowledge

    Fair enough.

    However, that has nothing to do with what happened to African women who were on the slave ships, nor what awaited them if they survived the Middle Passage.

  • kissofdanger

    When did I say the author was black? Unlike you I don’t see life as either or. I don’t see blacks in a poor light either. Interracial relationships should not be scapegoated for the lack of black couples. PERIOD!

  • Knowledge

    Last post- I’m not a BW basher or a troll. There’s nothing more attractive than black women to me and other races of men KNOW THIS, BUT men follow cultural trends. People in white mainstream America will choose white women, People who follow Urban culture will choose women who represent its standard of beauty.

    Something went wrong along the way: Black women were at the top of urban culture, being courted by all its followers esp Latino men they loved black women in the 70′s 80′s and 90′s, Asian men were trying to court BW after “Romeo must die”came out- black men weren’t mad those unions.

    BLACK WOMEN HAD OPTIONS of different races men in urban society, now yall look like ONE OF THE OPTIONS for white men in Mainstream white society.

    In America and the world there are two cultures,
    -White mainstream culture and their minority race white washed followers
    -Black urban cultures- and its minority race followers.
    We are generally opposites, some whites, some minorities blend with black, some blend with white society based on cultural trends.

    -White women are the standard of Beauty for white mainstream culture- no one can stop that- they are majority
    -Black women SHOULD BE and WERE once the standard of beauty in urban culture, but are slowly being replaced by “other” minority race of women ambiguous types.

    PS :BW need to find your place ontop of other races of women, not “among” them.

  • niksmit

    @Akua I find Dr. Bailey’s long-distance marriage interesting. I don’t think it was by Shonda’s design that it has become very background, but by the male actor’s other job opportunities.

  • niksmit

    I hope that’s not the case. Maybe The Mindy Project is a good example in this article because she got greenlit over other shows, some of which may have intra-ethnic romance. The show’s namesake runs the show and I think it reflects her real life self and views so take that how you will.

    This article feels ahistorical. In the past we couldn’t have interracial couples on network TV because it was too freakish and controversial. Now, I think it’s trendy. That’s a step beyond just getting POC on the screen, but it’s not enough.

    Neither era is my ideal. I want diverse representations. But we are speaking of a business, and trendy stuff sells.

  • Z

    Basically, the majority of black men WHO DO marry, marry BW. Of the 25% of black men who are married, the majority (80-90%) are married to BW. That still leaves most (black men and black women) unmarried.

  • Justus

    “Hypotetical”Shonda Rhimes walks into her weekly meeting of one of her sucessful shows. Awaiting her is a room full of people who are not black.

    Shonda: I would like to have a serious black couple on one of my shows.

    Young Jewish intern: U mean for like one or two episodes.

    Shonda: Nope I mean a loving relationship that has its ups and down but is primarly sucessful.

    Awkward silence takes over the room. People are uncomfortable.

    Old Exec: Do u like your Emmys, Ratings and your weekly checks u get from our network???? Stick to the formula.

    Shonda: With head down thinks to herself. I tried I really tried. Hopefully my people understand what i am up against. Racism (White Supremacy) is a hell of a system.

    The point is MS. Rhimes or anyone of our brethren that works for these network answer to a different calling.

  • SayWhat

    @B, first I disagree that men of other races don’t help patrol their neighborhoods. We have law enforcement in every neighborhood, but in places like Chicago, the ‘no snitch’ policy renders them mute.

    Second, I am a strong advocate of marriage to a quality man (of any race) but I think you are giving black men a huge pass by blaming single moms, if anything, these males should be more protective of these women and their children, but that is not happening because they are not real men, just overgrown males with more anger/hurt than good sense.

    Bottom line, ‘I am my brother’s keeper’, but any male that would attack women/children/the elderly is not my brother.

  • kissofdanger

    Raising their stock!? Why should anyone who is for black love care about the white man’s stock!? You’re marrying another black person aren’t you?

  • Lisa

    I think that it’s social engineering. All art is propaganda. As extreme as it sounds, it just another way for media (which is nothing but PR for the government) to encourage these relationships and fade out blackness. Anthropology would call it “Artificial Selection” instead of “Natural Selection”. It’s happening in Brazil, other Latin American countries and as you say, the UK. Blackness is basically inexistent in Mexico. The media won’t even give you a hint that there are Black Mexicans (there are!). Blackness is inexistent in Argentina due to their institutionalized racial whitening policy.

  • Mikela123

    You speak the truth. I remember back in the late 90s during some show where they were talking about Lauryn Hill and a young white rocker who was popular at the time, said Lauryn was beautiful, she looked like Eve. wow.

    That was so deep. Something in black culture definitely went wrong since then. Once it became mainstream it was over. and although black men have some of the advantage today, its not much. Urban culture was black culture, and while black women have been pushed aside, black men are still the face of it, but only to a certain extent. They don’t even have much control over it anymore.

    I can’t help thinking that this and the out of control violence among young black men in urban areas like Chicago are related.

    hope you continue to post Knowledge. You’re one of the few thoughtful brothas out there.

  • Lulu

    Sad how this quickly turned to people pointing fingers and shifting blame instead of focusing on the problem at hand and standing together. Easier said than done I know but it’s much, much easier to argue and point fingers and it gets noone anywhere.

    You’re falling right in line the way “they” want you to.

  • Keepingitreal

    Yeah, you wonder if colorism is part of it.

  • http://alaiawilliams.com Alaia

    Though he did cheat back in the day, there was Webber and his wife Adele. Then he dated Debbie Allen (maybe they are still dating. I don’t know). Bailey, who I can’t stand, has always been with a black man. Yang’s first partner was a black guy. Not saying any of this makes things perfect (what’s perfect?), but she’s had plenty of mixed couples roll through. I can’t speak for Private Practice. That show never caught my attention.

  • Tara

    Who care? Some black guys kill me with all of their extensive research on who dates who interracially and why. When black men started dating interracially, they became “interracisl experts”. I think that it is comical.

  • Tara

    So black women are depressed for the rest of the night when they see a black man with a white woman? Look if it didn’t matter to you, you wouldn’t be here.

    Black men always make these snide, arrogant comments yet they are always on black women’s sites throwing jabs.

  • Tara

    Would you please leave? Nobody cares. Why are you here gloating about this “nitch” that you have carved out. It is sad, black men are sooooooooo powerless that they get their self esteem and self worth from being able to “pull” non-black women cause they cant compete with other men out in the world for anything else. Why dont you build empires? Cant hold down the black community cause they are too weak. Brag abbout how “masculine” but Asian men are far more masculine than you in the areas that prove manhood. The weak minded black man version of manhood is whack. Even if these women are having babies by bums, other black men do nothing to uplift these boys.

    How shallow these women are in style, these women are out. You are a head case. Exotic women can have you.

  • Lily

    i think it is safe to say that people are over analyzing the media. this is a very broad topic. we see black couples, white couples, latino ,asian ect. on televison all the time. however the media is trying to diversify it a little bit to satisfy others. i am mean we see black men with white women on tv as their interest if they aren’t with the norm(black woman) ,and that doesn’t seem to strike anyone. but with a woman its always different. it is hard to satisfy everyone especially those who are a minority. and as a minority it is difficult to see people nit pick and analyze things that have to deal with race all the time . seeing that we deal with those everyday of our entire lives no matter who your with. Do you want the media to say that everyone stick to their own race!.will that make everyone happy…….

  • joe

    I believe the writer was voicing a concern shared by many Asian men. Not long ago, I saw a similar question posed regarding the SYFY channel hit Being Human. In it, Meaghan Rath plays the role of Sally Malik, a young Indian American living in Boston. In four seasons, all four of her love interests have been white men. Every crush she has ever had has been on a white man. Her mother cheats on her Indian father with a white man. When an Asian fan asked why all her lovers have been white, white males responded with outrage and called him a racist. To them, it is perfectly normal for women of color to desire white men. It is simply white male privilege and superiority represented on the small screen.

  • Brad

    Yea, and looks like the show Sleepy Hollow with “Nicole Beharie” will go the same way, although her ex looks to be a spanish guy.

    But, so goes it on tv these days, if you want to see black on black romances you’ll have to watch web series, black entertainment tv(BET, VH1, OWN, etc), straight to dvd movies, and the occasional black romantic comedy.

  • http://clutchmagazine.com Felicia

    Yes, Joe! In fact if you go to the original article, Nededog is basically being called a racist in the comment section for having these concerns. Of course, he is looking at this through the lenses of how race put white men on top as far as desirability goes.

    This made me think about some others shows where the women of Indian decent had a white love interest. On the show ” the big bang theory” and ” New girl”. There were Indian girls on these shows who had a white love interest.

  • Brad

    Yea, and although it is a explosion of Indian actresses on tv these days. They’ll most likley even more so than black actresses be paired with white males.

  • http://gravatar.com/lrblevins29 lrblevins29

    The reason we are seeing more interracial couples between especially black and white partners, in this case white on screen male lovers for black females, is because of racism. Nothing more, nothing less. Black woman are still the secret standard of beauty. Woman of other races pay top dollar to get body parts associated with black women let’s not be fooled. The white man is loosing his power and in order to maintain supremacy he only “allows” minority woman on television to date him. Don’t be fooled. Black women there is nothing you need to do but continue to be yourself, get your education and by the way the overwhelming majority of black men still date you. We have power my people. WE just need to wake up and realize it. We need to start fighting with these networks letting them know we want real life to imitate art. I have nothing against interracial relationships but there is nothing wrong letting the world know we want to see “us” loving “us”. Not a problem at all.

  • Huey

    Sickening. Hollywood certainly has an agenda that is most detrimental to the black family.

  • CNJ

    I was thinking about this last night when I saw a commercial about a new show called “The Goldbergs.” And I actually wondered – where’s the tv show called “The Johnsons”, “The Garcias?” or, “The Wus.” Aren’t most of the shows “The Goldbergs?” A person of color is always thrown in – most commonly “the funny black guy.” But where are TV shows on network TV that show a majority cast of another race/ethnic group than white? I haven’t seen one since “The Cosby Show” and “A Different World.” Admittedly, I don’t watch much TV, but I feel like I would have at least known about such a show if it was airing.

  • lya

    I know Indian people and it is ideal to get someone very light. As for all these interracial romances, I would not know. I do not watch much tv. I am on the net more. But there is too much to do in this life. If you don’t like what is on tv, shut it off. We black people are only 12 percent of the population and a portion of that is in jail. So I doubt these ____ run industries care what your opinion is. I personally will not support male actors that date or marry other women. Derek Luke, Taye Diggs, or Bill Bellamy. IMO they try to have us as the target audience. No if you like white so much go see how much money they are willing to pay to see you. I do take that personal and it is my choice and my money. I hear women say oh he is sexy, yes and Derek Luke would never consider you as a love interest.

  • lola289

    Can I say that this is true…whenever I turn down a white guy they are like, “WTH is wrong with you?” Their face is priceless! Lol #BlackLoveOnly

  • lola289

    @m81

    Next time do what my mom does in corporate America: “Ummm what’s “bling bling”?”

  • lola289

    They rely on that and IR couples having “cute” babies!

  • raah

    ? I see both black only couples and black women with other races on TV. Maybe what you mean to ask is what are we seeing on mainstream tv today? Seriously, this is just a moment in time. It’s nothing new, it’s nothing exclusive. Aren’t we happy women of color are headlining shows on mainstream networks?

    On another note, I observe waaaay more black men in reality dating white or other kinds of women rather than the other way around. I pick up on this as I’m a very brown woman married to a white man.

    This seems like bait to me. If we saw “black love only” on tv while everyone else dated interracially, folks would be whining “are black women only allowed to love black men?” Give me a break.

  • Tara

    I personally don’t care who black men date.

  • http://rosaleemillan.wordpress.com rosaleemillan

    I’m a white actress with a Latino husband who is also an actor, and I’m VERY aware of this phenomenon. When casting directors, directors, and producers decide to cast a person of color, they often will cast the female and keep their white male lead. You see in on television, film, and Broadway as well. I have often thought about how much more work my husband and I would get if our ethnicities were reversed! It sure wouldn’t hurt our bottom line!

  • Nyala

    Well to me, (based on Scandal and a few mixed romance movies), biracial love featured in television seems very sex-based. I draw this mostly from Scandal because, let’s face it, take away the sex scenes between Olivia and Fitz and what is actually left? What other emotional connection ties them together other than love?

    But I do suppose you could say that they DO truly love each other (if you want to nick-pick at little things like that), but I honestly can see no proof of that.

    Even so, I should probably mention that I am a little biased and heavily believe that black women are still viewed as objects of lust or Jezebels for (some) white men to chase after. Until I can see something to prove me wrong that serves to be my ultimate opinion….

    Anyone?

  • http://gravatar.com/nowbereadyonshortnotice nowbereadyonshortnotice

    You are forgetting about House of Payne.

  • simplyme

    99.9% of romance…or anything really… on TV is heavily sex based.Thats partly why I don’t own one.

    I think this trend is less jezebel and more of an attempt to be “diverse” by including a character of color while still appealing to the White audience by making them feel like they can relate to their experiences. Because apparently White people cant relate to a Black couple… At least thats what the industry thinks. And to be honest, I think its true if you look at the discussion on the Obamas marriage early on.. their was this odd curiosity about what they do behind closed doors.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    Similarly, you won’t find too many women of other races making sweeping generalizations about men of their own race like you currently are doing. Way to do the exact same thing you are accusing black men of doing.

  • Aquagirl

    Maybe these shows simply get higher ratings? The only color that casting directors see is green.

    And I know for me personally, being a black female in an IR, I champion these shows so I am certainly part of the reason these are profitable.

  • angryblackwoman

    Have you any of you watched BET lately? It’s no Cosby show but there are some shows with all black families.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    “On another note, I observe waaaay more black men in reality dating white or other kinds of women rather than the other way around. I pick up on this as I’m a very brown woman married to a white man.”

    how does the race of your husband allow you to pick up on this? Seems anyone observant person could pick up on such trends. In the areas I’ve been as well as in my circles of friends, black women are more commonly dating white men than the other way around. But no individual’s experiences can be generalized to the whole on something like this. All either of us can speak on is what we’ve experienced or heard about.

    I, for one, wouldn’t be complaining about black love if that’s all we saw on tv. I’m perfectly content for every black man on tv to be paired with a black woman, and vice versa. I’m thinking if it would be a different set of folks complaining if this was what we saw on tv.

  • http://gravatar.com/ravsmith78 Ravi

    Been saying this for years. First started noticing this when Eriq La salle complained about show creators refusing to show his character in stable relationships with black women on ER. I thought he was off base at first, but over the years I have come to realize he was right.

    I’ve noticed it snowball as of late to the point where it is the norm for black characters to not be paired with other black characters. I think this has long been the norm for Asian characters. I can only think of a couple shows where an Asian woman isn’t paired with a white man. The last several years has started to get like that for black women. Not too many shows without majority black casts that have a black woman not linked romantically to a white man. I can think of about 3 such shows off the top of my head.

  • play_your_part

    Interracial relationships featuring white men and minority women in TV are the norm. White Americans have transitioned from Hitler’s view of racism where genetic purity was paramount. The new paradigm is the Spanish model of racism, where white men are expected to exercise sexual privilege over all minority women, while white women are considered degenerate if they mix themselves with men of minority races. Your television reflects that on a daily basis.

  • cheeky

    Wrong–we can’t stop t, but we damn sure can challenge it, because it’s basically just some white supremacist bull****.

  • cheeky

    No,it isn’t—give the conspiracy theories a rest,please.

  • cheeky

    Are you serious, or are you trillling? You have got to be to be because I know you’re aren’t.

  • Tara

    Well in real life white women are exercising all over the place.lol

  • Pseudonym

    Basically, you singled out the few shows that show women of color with white love interests and completely ignored everything else that challenges that notion.

  • AJSAY

    Exactly and we all know white women have been “exercising all over the place” as another commenter hilariously pointed out, but if we do it. It’s a problem and we aren’t standing up for our race. Tell that to black men circa 1991 and let us live.

  • Helen

    So if white do it, it doesn’t count?

  • Helen

    I’m glad you can account for 50+ years of television

  • https://www.facebook.com/wkwallace Will

    I don’t view interracial romances as the issue, I encourage that, but when series want to do something other than same race couples one of the partners is usually white.

    Too few pairings are with two different racial minorities at least in American television. I think is as important as seeing two people of same race together in loving relationships.

  • 2gs4reel

    The elephant in the room is the long and savage history of rape and sexual terror white men inflicted upon black women and men and their families for centuries. Couple that with no white man ever successfully being convicted of the crime in a court of law, to my knowledge and you get the responses to Tawana Brawley or the OJ Simpson trial. Let’s unpack that history, which gets touched on in Lee Daniels “The Butler’s” opening scene and we will have something worth discussing. Sadly, even in commercials the blowback from the most innocent Cheerios spot, where the black father doesn’t even appear in the same frame as the white mother but I heard no such concern with the recent Swiffer commercial showing the white father with his black wife and their family. I guess that first kiss from Lt. Uhura opened the floodgates now there’s no pushback, everyone seems comfortable with it, whether it’s Nip Tuck or Monster’s Ball or the Mindy Project or Scandal, everyone is not comfortable with it and there’s good reason.

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