Every time Chris Brown opens his  mouth for an interview I wish someone would just intervene and haul him off to therapy. In a recent interview with the UK  Guardian, the 24-year-old singer opened up about losing his virginity at the age of 8.

Brown, who lost his virginity at age eight to a girl who was 14 or 15, told the magazine, “It’s different in the country,” adding that he and his friends watched a lot of porn. “By that point, we were already kind of like hot to trot, you know what I’m saying? Like, girls, we weren’t afraid to talk to them; I wasn’t afraid. So, at eight, being able to do it, it kind of preps you for the long run, so you can be a beast at it. You can be the best at it.”

Someone please inform Chris Brown, and his mother, that her 8 year-old son was raped.  Couple that with being witness to his mother’s own physical abuse, therein lies the problem with Chris Brown.  I am the last person to ever make excuses for Brown’s past behaviour, but what he touts as prepping for the long run, only prepped him for the worst.

An 8 year-old cannot consent to rape, I don’t care if he thinks it’s different in the “country”, referring to his town of Tappahannock, Virginia. The Age of Consent laws in Virginia state:

The age of consent in Virginia is 18, with a close in age exception that allows teenagers aged 15 to 17 to engage in sexual acts but only with a partner younger than 18.

Section § 18.2-63 of the Code refers to minors younger than 15, while § 18.2-371 is about 15-, 16- and 17-year-olds.

Section 18.2-63 states in part:

If any person carnally knows, without the use of force, a child thirteen years of age or older but under fifteen years of age, such person shall be guilty of … felony … For the purposes of this section, (i) a child under the age of thirteen years shall not be considered a consenting child and (ii) “carnal knowledge” includes the acts of sexual intercourse, cunnilingus, fellatio, analingus, anal intercourse, and animate and inanimate object sexual penetration.

Consensual sex where one partner is 15, 16 or 17 and the other is over 18 is a class 1 misdemeanor.

§ 18.2-371. Causing or encouraging acts rendering children delinquent, abused, etc.; penalty; abandoned infant. Any person 18 years of age or older, including the parent of any child, who (i) willfully contributes to, encourages, or causes any act, omission, or condition which renders a child delinquent, in need of services, in need of supervision, or abused or neglected as defined in § 16.1-228, or (ii) engages in consensual sexual intercourse with a child 15 or older not his spouse, child, or grandchild, shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.’

This is the problem with society, if this was a young girl speaking of  “losing” her virginity at 8, it would already be understood that she was raped, But because it’s a man speaking, it’s then turned into some coming of age act of bravado.  According to the Children’s Assessment Center, 8% of sexual abuse victims age 12-17 are male and 26% of victims under the age of 12 are male. It’s also important to point out that, what Brown describes as “being different in the country”, living in a rural area does play a role in sexual abuse, children who live in rural areas are almost 2 times more likely to be identified as victims of child sexual abuse.

Take a moment to put aside your personal feelings about Brown, but at the age of 8 years-old, sure virginity was lost, but it was lost due to rape. That’s nothing to brag about, I hope eventually one day he realizes that.

  • MimiLuvs


  • bossladi

    Excellent article! You are 100% correct. It is NOT ok to lose your virginity at 8 years old! It’s quite tragic actually.

  • Jess

    Thank you for writing this!! Saw this headline on another blog a few days back, and all I could think was “Jesus, that’s not sex, that’s molestation!” Disgusting.

  • geenababe

    Of course he was but society views things differently when stuff like this happens to boy as opposed to girls. If a woman would have said this it was be a lot of outrage and people digging to find out who this 15 year old boy was but since it’s a men telling this story the outrage is far less. It’s sick, why would a 15 year old boy or girl want to have sex with an eight year old? All I can think of the control the older person would have over the younger person. I am pretty sure many men have similar stories like this (Lance Gross said the same thing in one his interview but he wasn’t eight when it happen) but they don’t see it as sexual abuse or rape they see it has something to brag about. C.B didn’t have a good upbringing.

  • Lovely

    I wonder if he says it that way because its his coping mechanism.

  • Mr. Man

    I’m still stuck on him watching “a lot of porn” at such a young age, he caught a visual virus as a child. I’m really beginning to understand why this new generation got so many major problems and issues, this being one.

  • BeingNicole

    I pity him. How lost, blind, and broken does a person have to be to think an 8 yr old having sex with a 15 yr old is a rite of passage? He may not think so, but I personally think he needs help. His behavior is too aggressive and unstable. I hope he takes a look at reality and receives help for healing.

  • emme

    Chris has a lot of demons even he doesn’t understand is affecting his life. The fact that at the age of 8 and possibly younger, he was exposed to pornography is sad. The fact that as a grown man he views his molestation as “prepping to be the best” is even more sad. Like I have always said…I really root for this guy his talent in undeniable however his demons will consume him if he doesn’t take a step back and deal with them.

  • Yes, I’m That Leah

    Ah ha! This might be why he has rage issues. I wonder how long this was going on. smh.

  • LeFuck

    This is the start to a lot of the dysfunction in relationships with black males. From a young age, they are inappropriately introduced to sex.

  • Pseudonym

    That is EXACTLY what I thought when I first read that.

  • Kelley Johnson

    If I had a dime for every time one of my black male friends told me he “lost” his “virginity” at some extremely young age, I’d be a rich woman right now. Molestation of little black boys by women is an epidemic that people don’t want to talk about. They think it’s cute, that he’s a “little man”. It’s not. It’s child rape.

  • vintage3000

    I totally agree with the author. This is what I thought when I read the story of Melvin Van Peebles instructing a very young Mario to film an intimate scene with a grown woman on camera. This was child abuse, and so was the crime committed against Chris.

  • Kelley Johnson

    THIS. It’s really incredibly sad. I remember watching the DVD commentary for the movie 40 Year Old Virgin. Well, the black actor in that film, Romany Malco, said right there on the commentary that he’d “lost his virginity” at the age of 6. SIX YEARS OLD. And he didn’t even think it was odd at all. He said he “wanted” to do it and that he was ready to do it and had fun. The rest of the cast sounded very uncomfortable and they moved on and changed the subject. But the way he just put it out there, like having “sex” at 6 years old was something normal, was just truly sad.

    Like I said, pretty much all of my black male friends had “sex” with grown women at around 10,11,12. They were all raped but they refuse to see it. SMH. And yes, they all have commitment issues. They see marriage as a punk move, have a baby mama or two, and pretty much screw anything that walks. And my friends are “good brothas”. You know, the college educated, gainfully employed type of black men.

  • Kelley Johnson

    Another demon in his life is that he was sexually exploited by the music industry. When he first came out he was just 16 years old, and I found the sexual lyrics of some of his songs to be absolutely appalling. Who thought it was ok for a 16 year old boy to sing about pleasing grown women sexually? And why did his mother allow that? Had a girl 16 year old girl sung lyrics like that, there would be an outrage.

  • Apple Pie

    This is what happens when young children have no fathers in the house to guard and protect them.

  • Deja

    As not okay as it is, it happens commonly with young black boys. All the black guys I know share similar stories.

  • Liz

    so… I just watched that scene from Sweetback. That was definitely child abuse.

  • MimiLuvs

    “How lost, blind, and broken does a person have to be to think an 8 yr old having sex with a 15 yr old is a rite of passage?”

    I am trying to understand the concept of a 15 year-old girl thinking that it was okay to engage in sexual activities with an 8 year-old child.
    I don’t know both parties at all, but I am going to assume that the 15 year-old girl was a sexual abuse victim herself.

  • MimiLuvs

    My mother has a friend, who is currently serving time for assault and battery against another woman. The victim was a family friend (in fact, she was the friend of the mother), who engaged in a sexual activity with the “attacker’s” 12 year-old son.
    My mom’s friend found out and had gone to the woman’s home. There was a verbal fight prior to the physical fight. The victim had pressed charges. The attacker stated her reasons why she had fought the victim. The attacker’s husband had told my mom and me once (a few years later)
    that the arresting officers were making jokes about the incident. Then they tried to excused the victim’s actions by stating that the son looked “big for his age.”

  • Sylvie

    Yeah…no one in this scenario is okay. A child raped a child. A likely sexually-abused child raped another child. Does help explain who Chris Brown is, it excuses NOTHING he’s done, but you can see that his illness/being messed up/jerkery goes wayyy back.

  • Anthony

    For years, I actually considered myself unlucky because that sort of thing had not happened to me as child. As an adult, I can see just how unhealthy that sort of thing is, but as a boy who came up in a culture where getting “p”’y” was the greatest goal, the boys who had sex when they were very young were envied.

    We have a whole lot to overcome, and I am unsure where to start except for trying to raise my own daughters to the best of my ability. That said, they are in a world where this sort of thing is the norm for their peers.

  • Anthony

    @Kelley Johnson, you are right, but I am pretty sure that if a black man wrote a piece criticizing black women for taking advantage of little black boys, it would be seen as an attack on black women, and there would be tit for tat stories of black women being raped by black men.

    The sad truth is that both sides would be right in criticizing the other, but the pain is so deep, that neither side really wants to acknowledge the others hurt.

  • The Other Jess

    I don’t trust anything out of the mouth of old beat ‘em up Brown. He’s always trying to gain public sympathy after his criminal act against Rihanna. Plus, many men lie alot about the number of women they sleep with, and the age at which they started having sex. It’s an ego thing with them, makes them seem more “manly”, the great conquerer-in-the-bedroom type mentality.

    Chris Brown needs to just shut up and go get therapy for being a WOMAN BEATER. No sympathy for this fool. He’s been trying everything he an to gain sympathy since he went berserk on Rihanna a few years ago. So now, instead of us focusingon the fact that he is a WOMAN-BEATER, he wants to make us believe that really he was abused by girls, instead of him being the abuser? PLEASE.

  • The Other Jess

    You all are so gullible. Wat to turn around and place blame on females instead of acknowledging that he is an unapologetic WOMAN-BEATER.

  • Anthony

    One of the few good things that conservatives have done in the last ten or so years, is to make it illegal for a minor to film an intimate seen with an adult. That is one situation where a little moralizing was appropriate.

    I know I was shocked when I saw that scene in Sweet Sweetback too.

  • The Other Jess

    I’m trying to understand how you could believe anything coming out of Chris Browns mouth.

  • tedmikedmike

    Come on…. this is much about nothing, I lost my virginity when i was 10 years old, too a 18 years old girl who was our housekeeper. I turn out just fine, if anything i have a fond and embarrassing memory of it. Almost all my black friends lost there virginity the same age to an older woman.

    It is different for boys and girls; when this happen to a girl it is rape, when it happens to a boy it is called “getting lucky”.

  • Phillygurl

    Of course noone was arrested as they should hsve been. But I will continue to say this is precisely why I am against people having teenagers watch and babysit younger kids, male or female.3

  • The Other Jess

    Chris Brown’s father was in the house – and he beat the living sh*t out his wife, and Chris Brown. Sympathy play form Brown, and another way to turn the lens off of his misogyny and violence towards women and blame women themselves, even though he is the one with the problem.

  • Anthony

    @MimiLuvs, those same cops will ready to shoot that boy because he looks big for his age too. All of this is connected to our dehumanization.

  • Apple

    This remind me of this guy (around age 35-40) who said he started having sex with neighborhood men at like 11 and someone said “so you were raped” and his response was ” you can’t rape the willing” and everyone was shocked

  • Prince Harvey

    He said she was “14 or 15″ … would it still be rape if she was 14. Then does it mean they raped each other?

  • Anthony

    What’s gullible? It is a well known fact that victims of abuse often become abusers themselves. Brown is responsible for the wrong he has done to Rhianna, but he was still a victim of sex abuse as a child.

  • Anthony

    Seriously, have you ever thought about why that 18 year old wanted sex with you? I cannot help but think that an 18 year old has better options than a fifth grader. Your luck was probably a manifestation of some dysfunction in her life. I am glad you turned out alright, but many men end up with serious issues that land them in prison and make the women around them miserable.

  • JaeBee

    You’re probably right. Usually children who sexually abuse other children are victims of sexual abuse themselves.

  • MimiLuvs

    “I’m trying to understand how you could believe anything coming out of Chris Browns mouth….”

    Yes, yes, yes, we get it… You don’t like Chris Brown…

    (mumbles) andotherblackmen…

  • Luci

    I’m an atheist, but… Chris Brown needs Jesus, or Buddha, or somebody. He’s too messed up to even know how messed up he is.

  • The Other Jess

    Chris Brown IS a victim of abuse – from his FATHER. Who he himself said he beat the sh*t out of Chris Brown’s mother, including choking her almost to death right in front of Chris Brown. They interviewed his father on TV right after the Rihanna-beating incident and that man was wacked-out evil control-freak, to say the least – meaning brown’s abusive dad. If Chris Brown is screwed up – which he most surely is – it’s because of his extremely crazy, creepy, violent and abusive father. Chris Brown can blame all the little girls in the world for his screwyness, but he needs to point his finger in the direction of the true abuser in that family – his FATHER.

    The women on here have the same stupid mindset of Rihanna, which is to always place blame on females but never on males, to always forgive and “understand” when guys do something wrong. Which is why Rihanna has stupidly stuck around for Chris brown, like so many battered and abused women. No sympathy for this fool.

    Beat-em-up Brown can say anything he wants, make up any story he wants to, but where is this girl he so cavalierly claims he slept with? Y’all are hating on a woman that may not even exist! Noone will ever know her, but we DO know Chris tried to kill Rihanna. He needs to talk about THAT and seek therapy and hope to God he doesn’t end up in hell when he dies.

  • The Other Jess

    First of all, my fiance is Black so shut the h*ll up. Secondly, because I speak against a man who OBVIOUSLY hated a Black woman enough to try to KILL one, i hate black men??? I don’t hate black men, I hate Black men who hate Black women!

    You’re an idiot and I hope that you see one day that defending violent jerks will not get you any protection from them. You gain no points for protecting and accepting any kind of Black man.

    If you love DECENT Black men like i do, then fine. But if you’re covering up for every deadbeat, wife beating, drive-by shooting, violent loser out here then you’re more pathetic than your statement implies.

  • The Other Jess

    You’re an enabler, face it MimiLuvs.

  • Really?

    “Just fine?” You’re a black man trolling a site for black women and you turned out just fine?


  • RJ

    I am so tired of the black community co-signing the hatred of Chris Brown. We knew Chris Brown’s story before all of the nonsense with Rhianna happened. He needed therapy then but unfortunately, he was already a cog in the wheel.

    Yes, he has not made things better, but how could he when he is in an industry that chews you up and spits you out.

  • Brad

    Your a rape apologist plan and simple, your mind set is just as offensive and dangerous as someone calling young black girls fast if they were molested.

  • Brad

    Your a rape apologist plan and simple.

  • march pisces

    “The women on here have the same stupid mindset of Rihanna, which is to always place blame on females but never on males…”

    @jess did you read the article? the 14yr old female in this instance deserves to be blamed for what she did to an 8yr old.

  • JRM

    If each parent would protect and supervise their own children these kind of things won’t happen. Where were his parents and his cousins parents when they were looking at porn. Where was the 15 yr old parents when she was having sex with an 8 yr old, where were his parents???? you dont just pop children out and have them supervise themselves…the problem with society is that everyone is in pursuit of the almighty dollar to buy their kids jordans and xboxes and this is the type of emotion and psychological trauma that we are putting our kids through…smh

  • oblivion

    I don’t get this. So people aren’t allowed to hold Chris Brown accountable for physically abusing a woman? No doubt he has his own demons but that doesn’t excuse his actions. But I guess the black community, more specifically black women are supposed to support men like him because….?

    I think it’s obvious that Chris Brown has tons of issues, that probably stem from his own abuse both physically and sexually as a child. It’s a shame that he had to go through that, and couldn’t get the help he clearly needed before he perpetuated that same cycle. On that front I can sympathize with him.

    However, black people, specifically black women are allowed to feel any kind of way they want about Chris Brown in light of these facts. If they choose to despise him that’s their prerogative. I’m tired of people telling black women how we should feel about things, especially when these things disproportionately affect us. It’s no black woman’s duty to support or stick up for any woman-beating black man, no matter what his trauma is.

  • tedmikedmike

    We know, we know….you hate black men. Just go away….

  • MimiLuvs

    “You’re an enabler, face it MimiLuvs.”

    And you’re on that same F’ed up ship as Perspective, Sargewp and the rest…
    Except you’re in the deck suite.
    Accept it, Jess.

  • RJ

    No, that was not my point. I think that we had ample proof before the horrible incident with Rhianna that he (and truth be told) Rhianna were both troubled souls who came from abusive backgrounds.

    We like to talk about how educated we are on this site but when it comes to this topic we resort to the same one-sided nonsense without thinking everything through.

    It is true that it is bad form for a man to hit a woman. But should a woman be throwing a phone and punching on a young man when he is driving a race car around Mulholland drive at night. ( I lived out there and I would drive those hills at 20 mile per hour and I was still terrified).

    BOTH Chris Brown and Rhianna were responsible for that night. They are BOTH going nowhere fast and are both the victims of the same crime. Unchecked abuse from their childhood.

    Unfortunately, they are both cogs in the music industry wheel and they will be spit out soon and that scares me for them and those who love them (family and friends).

    Also, Chris Brown was held accountable by the people who were in a place to hold him accountable, the law and the people who continously dogged him are the ones who need to look at themselves.

    The last judge realized that this young man is now being victimized by people looking for a quick buck. Yes, he needs to stop and get help, but guess what, it is not going to happen because he is a commodity.

    Life is complex and complicated, I just want people to think in nuace and not with emotion.

    Lastly, I say all of this as a person who is not a fan of Chris Brown OR Rhianna.

  • cbmts (@cbmts)

    unfortunately, we don’t view male/female rape the same way and i don’t think we ever will. even in mainstream society, when a male teacher rapes a female student, he’s in prison for a long time and never teaches again, but a female teachers raping their male students gets less than a year, if any. males are disposable and that’s what it boils down to. http : // www

  • vintage3000

    Good point. I knew someone who worked in a junior high school, she told how she had gotten depressed about all the times she caught 12 and 13 year old girls performing fellatio on boys in the stairwells, etc. Their reasoning was that since it’s “just giving head”, it’s not sex so no big deal.

    When we were children we barely knew about that, now they can watch it on their smartphones during recess.

  • tedmikedmike

    By your logic, you shouldn’t comment on this issue because it is about a black man… lol

    Btw; Learn what trolling is before trying to dismiss others opinion.

  • tedmikedmike

    That is easier said than done, a parent can’t monitor their children’s every move.

  • Ms. Write

    “So, at eight, being able to do it, it kind of preps you for the long run, so you can be a beast at it. You can be the best at it.” -____-

  • Linda Mitchell

    When I read this story the other day, my first thought was how hasn’t anyone that care for Chris Brown gotten him any therapy. Of course, he was sexual abused at the age of 8. This explains so much about him if he thinks that having sex at the age of 8 to someone who was several years older than him is something to be boastful of.

    I hope this starts a conversation of male sexual abuse. I recently learned that my cousin was abused when he was younger. It helped me understand his anger as a young teen and adult. We’re are taking steps to get him help to put his life back in order.

  • sparger

    Who are these young black boys having sex with at 10? Any many in this thread want to share the real age when you first had sex.

  • TC

    It’s crazy the things we believe that validate why we do what we do, when kids that age in Philly got into porn/sex we blamed it on living in the city. And the idea of having to “do it” all of those years to get good at it (among other lies) vs. God knowing what He was doing when He created sex for man and woman to be had on their wedding day, when neither would know what they were doing is the biggest lie Satan has people believing to date!

  • Eyes Wide Shut

    @ Yesha

    Thank you for writing this article and I agree – Chris Brown needs therapy. A child of that age that experiences sex and porn is already at a disadvantage of having a normal life (yes I know he is extremely talented and wealthy but money can only mask your inner demons for a limited time frame. Eventually that trauma will manifest externally in various ways. With him, it’s through rage.)

    He should fulfill whatever current contracts he has for the record companies and just disappear off the radar for awhile and just get some help. This interview he did certainly explains a lot about what we see publicly from him.

    Rape is a crime even if the perps are female teens. Rape against a child (boy or girl) deserves the death penalty.

  • Treece

    Seriously? You turned out “fine”? An 18 year old woman committed statutory rape with you and you think that’s ok? Just the fact that you think that’s okay shows that you’re not, and you should probably seek help for your mental and emotional well being. So should every man that claims to have “lost his virginity” to adults when he was a child whose balls hadn’t even dropped yet. Its only different for boys than girls because adults make it different. Adults treat it differently and they should not.

  • MJ

    well that’s extra close-minded and hurtful of the author to put the blame for his misplaced bravado on Brown. Who’s to say he doesn’t regret what happened, and is merely trying to explain a horrible experience away? That he is trying mask pain with something more familiar and socially acceptable? Why should he have to cry about the incident to acknowledge its detrimental nature? The author is right, if this had happened to a girl, rape would be understood, and none of the blame would be put on her for how she chose to recall and react to it later in life. this was a really stupid reading of his comments.

  • tedmikedmike

    Guess I didn’t make much of it, It wasn’t like she forced me or nothing… She instigated it and i played along. I don’t really think it had any long term affect on me. But again, people are different and someone else may react to it differently than i did.

  • Phillygurl

    I will put it as this, as mothers, black women tend to dote attention and are willing to address concerns of black males, it is rarely done in reverse. How many black male websites would even talk about rape or molestation of girls and call it such, without laying it at the feet of girls?

  • Oshh

    That is why it is important to have a higher set of standards. Society’s direction will have you lost and turned out, mentally ill and morally bankrupt etc

  • Phillygurl

    Thank you, people need to stop allowing teenagers with raging hormones watch younger children, period. You popped the child out you watch them.

  • Henry

    Black boys being raped, and America stays silent. Example 1000, of black male privilege I guess.

  • rhea


    First, if your point was not to suggest that Brown’s abusive background should make expemptions for his behavior, then what is your point? Because it clearly sounds to me like you said the same thing twice.

    Second, to my knowledge, no one has ben able to substantiate that Rhianna was hitting him, throwing a phone at him, or doing anything else violent before Brown attacked her. And even if she did, his actions were still out of order. Only one person was left beaten and swollen on he side of the road that night, and he wasn’t the one. So bringing up anything that suggests that Rhiana asked for what happened to her is beyond ridiculous.

    Third, what is REALLY old is Team Breezy defending Brown as if erasing the actions of that one night makes everything go away. Brown has been out of control, and actions that he has chosen since that night proves that much to the world.

    Either way you slice it, Brown is accountable for his actions to his fans and to the black community. Period. It helps no one to attempt to make him exempt. It only hurts.

  • deedee_dubois

    Umm Clutch he’s from Tappahannock, Va…Essex, Va to be more correct…which is 45 minutes away from my home county in Va.

    I actually feel offended that he made the statement along the lines that “its different in the country”. Granted the area where he’s from and I’m from is country but where I live we weren’t doing that at the age of 8. Most of the people where I’m from weren’t losing their virginity until their teens…I’m really just smh at him and his mom who obviously wasn’t around when this happen.

  • Phillygurl

    People may not like it,but for some reason women must acknowledge male suffering but never in reverse and even this website is testament to it.

  • RJ

    @Rhea first I did not say that he should be exempt. I said we should not be piling on him the way they we did. It came out in the police report that Rhianna threw a phone at him while he was driving.

    You mentioned Team Breezy – I had to look that up so perhaps you did not see my last sentence. I am not a fan of either of them. Period.

    My point also is that the black community used to reach out to people in a meaningful way. Neither of these people have gotten the help they so obviously need. Rhianna is the same person as Montana fishburne. She just makes more money. They are both crying out for help by using hyper sexuality.

    The fact that Chris Brown does not realize that he was raped speaks volumes and explains why he is so lost. Victims usually turn around and victimize.

  • The RealKay

    If he was 8 years old, that was definitely rape. He was way too young to understand anything about sex let alone engage in it. Unfortunately, this is a common story I’ve heard with many young boys and though they may feel violated on some kind of level, many of them are told to “man up,” and to feel “lucky,” that they were forced into sex. When I was mentoring a young adult group, one young man told me a story of this happening to him at 9 or 10 years old with a sitter!! I asked if he ever told anyone and he told me he did, but only got props from the older men in his family, not sympathy. It really messed him up and I think things like this are probably quite common but because men are expected to always be sexual creatures, they aren’t treated as traumatic. *smh*

  • The RealKay

    I remember that movie! *shudders* It was a few years ago, and a friend of mine told me to watch it because it was a classic. I knew nothing about it and about a few minutes in, that scene came on and I wanted to hurl. I stopped the movie and couldn’t watch it. I couldn’t understand how such a depiction of child rape could be seen as a classic.

  • Anthony

    They upload videos of themselves too.

  • Kay

    Did you READ the interview?

  • Wanda

    In the schools that I work in, I see these boys who’ve been clearly abused — there is a deadness in their eyes. They tend to be quiet when they are under 11 years old, and anger starts to present as they reach their teens.

    The mothers tend to encourage the silence when it comes to abused children because many of them feel guilty about having their children in harm’s way.

    The mothers come from a background of abuse themselves, so the cycle tragically perpetuates itself.

  • binks

    WOW, that is just disgusting and sad. I mean I can’t wrap my head around anyone wanting to sleep with a child. It is sad that black children are targeted with again overly aggressive sexualization at such early ages. At 14 or 15 her a** knew better and should face consequences plain and simple, someone needs to look into her history ASAP. I don’t care if it was the country, city, or island wrong is wrong. Sadly, his story isn’t unique; I know a lot of men who virginity was taken early. Sexual inappropriateness, behavior and acts is still an untold dirty secret within our community that is still met with a blind eye or swept under the rug of “in house” business. But I wholeheartedly agree that his and many others are the case of rape. As for Chris Brown I think he is in denial and should be the first patient for a group of therapy sessions.

  • roslynholcomb

    And this is why my sons have never had a babysitter, the sexualization of black boys has destroyed them leaving angry and botter males with explosive rage issues. People assume that it’s okay because they’re boys and always on a pussy hunt. The destruction of boundaries and social norms have a profound effect. Years ago Dan Abrams on MSNBC said that female teachers having sex with teen boys didn’t have the same effect as the reverse. I wanted to climb through the tv and beat him like he stole so ething. Our society is totally clueless. We have generation after generatiom of young men with poor boundaries. Young men that are unable to form pair bonds on any level above his crotch and we still don’t get it, when you sexualize children you alter their brain chemistry. You turn them into objects whose only value is between their legs. As is typical, in girls the damage is turned inward in promiscuity or drugs. Boys tend to strike out with the only emotion most men are allowed to express, anger. If his people gave a single goddamn about this young man they’d have him talking to a therapist.

  • RJ

    You have articulated this perfectly. I wrote a comment saying that I have felt that he has been treated so harshly without people taking into account not only his childhood abuse, that was both physical and now we find out also sexual. He too turned inward and worked on his professional craft and evrybody, took his success to mean he was doing okay.

    I also commented that he and Rhianna really are in the same place and both drastically need help.

    No one is making excuses but understanding is needed. I also hope that he has someone who cares about HIM and not his money and their cashflow, will stop the press and get him the help he deserves.

    I feel the same way about Rhianna, because anyone who thinks she is doing well is not thinking clearly, and that includes her role in that unfortunate night.

    Once again, I am a fan of neither Chris Brown or Rhianna, I just happen to care about black people. Period.

  • oblivion

    I think the problem stems from young boys being socialized to think that ‘getting some’ is the most important thing they can achieve. It’s so screwed up that boys at that age will enthusiastically participate in their own molestation. They don’t realize it’s wrong and that they’re being raped because they’re taught to associate having sex with a woman as the ultimate accomplishment, it’s what’s supposed to make them a “man.” Its sad to listen to Chris Brown at this age and for him to still not be able to understand that he was raped. No 8 year old boy can consent to sex.

    If I had a penny for every guy I knew who bragged about loosing their virginity at some ridiculously inappropriate age, I’d probably be able to pay off my student loans. Many of them were abused by older women and thought that made them “lucky.” A lot of them go on to perpetuate that same dysfunction and abuse other people.

    My sister worked at a recreational center with young black kids for a few years. I remember she told me a story about a little boy who couldn’t be older than seven and how he groped her, my sister was a grown woman, 28 at the time.. Not to mention the things that would come out of his mouth were so sexually explicit that it made me squirm whenever she would tell me the things he said.

    Where does a 7 year old learn such sexually explicit dialogue? Where did he learn that it was okay to grab a woman’s backside? More importantly its probably likely that he has been sexually abused. This is the kind of stuff young boys are being exposed to regularly but if you call CPS on some of these parent’s they’ll think you’re just trying to take their children away from them.

  • Misha

    This made me so sad, what’s even sadder is the conversation surrounding this story (in other spaces) and how people who clearly have no knowledge of how sexual abuse works. Jezebel and Gawker both published a disgusting about this in which they decided to go off on everything CB has done over the past few years and gave little to no acknowledgement of the sexual abuse. Yes, he bragged about it but this is a common coping method for abuse victims, someone at Gawker and Jezebel should’ve known this, ESPECIALLY Jezebel but I guess there only empathetic when it comes to white women. This doesn’t excuse his horrible actions but I’m so shocked at the lack of empathy people are showing.

  • anon

    Just to piggyback on the subject at hand. I lost mine at 12. To a 16 yr old boy. I knew nothing about sex at the time. For a long time i never thought it could be classified as rape. i felt shame for a LONG time. Sometimes when things like that happen the adults around you will blame it on you for “being hot”. I dont see how a child who knows nothing can be the one to blame.

  • SayWhat

    Perhaps you should go over to the “I was a poor black sex symbol’ story, there you will literally find over 100 stories of black women/girls being abused by black men, so if America is silent when black men are victims, I would say they are deaf, dumb and blind when it come to us black women and girls.

  • ads

    I pray for the soul of humanity that revelations of molestation of young boys aren’t met with dismissal or ‘victim-olympics.’ I’ve worked on human trafficking for many years, and yes the statistics do say world wide that 40% of women or girls will be the victim of sexual violence or domestic abuse in their lifetime. That said, the abuse and sexual assault of boys is no less heart-rending, and it’s invisibility and sordid ‘acceptance’ make investigating it and protecting these boys especially urgent.

  • L.Hoskins (@cherubicnerd)

    a man just got a month in jail for raping a student who later killed herself. there are petitions arguing for him to be punished and the judge who gave him the sentence to step down or be fired.

  • Really?


    Well, no, because it’s on a WOMAN’S site. And as I am a woman and this site is geared toward the feminine gender, I get to comment on anything on the site.

    So why are all three of your personalities here?

  • SayWhat

    If you read the comments on here, they are primarily by black women being supportive of black male victims. THAT is the difference between black women and black men, black women have ALWAYS been able to understand, sympathize with, and humanize black men, you cannot in good conscious say that the reverse is true.

    Another difference? You (bm) didn’t have to post a story about your victimization, we did it for you because we care. Now show me a link where the ‘I was a black sex symbol’ story is posted on a black male site, I will gladly apologize if you can, but let’s say I won’t hold my breath.

  • ads

    @Phillygurl, I’d like to think the ABJECT FAILURE of MEN to take responsibility for and action against the sexual exploitation of women and girls does not invalidate the unspeakable trauma perpetuated against BOYS, CHILDREN. I don’t have a son, I have a daughter, but I know if I did have a boy his innocence would be as pure and as needy of protection as a girl’s, and the misogyny of MEN on a global scale would not diminish that.

  • Nikkoli

    So you’d be ok with your 8 yr old having sex with a 14/15 yr old?

    if so, you’re just as sick.

  • naan

    i accidently liked your comment and i can’t change it. i meant “down”. (and yes I feel the need to say this because I don’t want any ecryption on my pc indicating I approve of RAPE)

  • Stella


    I can’t understand why anyone would thumb your point down. You make a lot of sense.

  • oblivion

    This is a stupid comment. Having privileged does not mean never being oppressed or victimized. These two things aren’t mutually exclusive. So yes black men DO have male privilege, even if people like to pretend it isn’t so.

  • Nikkoli

    “Who will cry for the little boy, he cried himself to sleep / Who will cry for the little boy, who never had it for keeps / Who will cry for the little boy, who walked on burning sands / Who will cry for the little boy, the boy inside a man / Who will cry for the little boy, who knew well hurt and pain / Who will cry for the little boy, who died and died again / Who will cry for the little boy, a good boy he tried to be / Who will cry for the little boy, who cries inside of me”

  • vintage3000

    And you are too dumb to live; a whiny, going off the topic bloodclot.

    And yep–there are ‘animalistic black males” who prey on Black girls and women. But you see the difference with this thread–it was posted on a Black WOMEN’S website, and you don’t see many women here blaming all kinds of straw man arguments to deflect the blame from the deviant who assaulted Chris Brown, nor other black boys. Contrast that with the eunuchs who raced into that other thread to blame everything including global warming on misogyny in the Black community. Everything is to blame except Black males, according to you. No one in this thread (so far) is practicing Deflection 101.

    I don’t make excuses for any pedophiles, as you and many of your brethren proudly do so with a vengeance.

    And nope, I don’t hate Black MEN. Just whiny, neutered *itches like you. See you next Tuesday.

  • vintage3000

    The ironic thing about that is that I’ve never seen the entire movie itself–only Mario’s movie about his dad’s film. When I saw the re-enactment of that scene, like you all noted, I could not believe it. I can’t help but wonder what Mario thinks about his father’s decision, he seems to love and revere his dad but it’s just so vile. What kind of person envisions any child, esp. their own, on screen depicting sex? ewwww

  • Nyala

    What’s sad is that he doesn’t even realize that it was wrong.

    “It gives you a prep in the long run. It makes it so you can be a beast at it. The best.”

    Has no one taught him better? Does he TRULY think that’s enough to please a woman?
    He may be rich, but he has a poor mind, and a poor soul.

    I will pray for him.

  • SMCD

    I loved your comment until I got to the part about Rihanna’s “role” that night. I fully understand that he is a product and a victim of abuse, but please do not make her culpable for the abuse she too has suffered.

  • Knowledge

    I didn’t comment on the article “young black girls sex symbol” because of commentators don’t understand Black boys go through the same thing and sexual abuse of young boys is more accepted because alot of BW and BM feels that he’s getting lucky or its not as serious as if it were a young girl.

    Same thing happen to me I was like 6-7 had sex with a girl who was at least 17- I was thought I was a man for it but looking back- she forced herself on me and held me down until I gave in the first time, Every time after that it was natural.I was messing around with girls in my class too(they also knew way to much). I had intercourse with 3 different teenage girls and “other things” who were at least 10 yrs.older than me, when i was in elementary school. First threesome was when i was 11-12 with two older high school girls. By high school I was having intercourse with women in their late 20′s. Older women used liquor, weed, and a place to chill when i skipped school to lure me in.

    - Nearly all of my friends,cousins even nephews have similar incidents with older BW predators. We internalize it differently its hard for me to admit i was raped, molested, sexually objectified probably Chris brown feels the same way but doesn’t want to seem weak.

  • Erin

    This is so disturbingly sad. Especially the fact that he doesn’t see the wrong in it. Any young girl that is fifteen and has sex with an eight year old has major issues too. I pray for them both and to every child that has experienced rape or molestation and doesn’t see it as wrong.

  • Nic

    Yes, when boys are sexually abused by older girls or women, we live in a world that acts like it isn’t a crime and that they got lucky. Hearing that he was raped at an early age breaks my heart, and it upsets me even more that many men read this and think “way to go.”

  • Moni

    What is upsetting about this story is that most of the media is joking or making snide comments about this shocking story. If it was any other celebrity people would think this is horrifying but since it is Chris Brown it’s a laughing matter. It’s sad and distrubing what happened to him or any child. I don’t condone is behavior as an adult but it does give you some insight into why he acts the way he does. I hope and pray he seeks therapy.

  • Ads

    Thanks for the honesty and bravery

  • Treece

    dbsm, whether you choose to believe it or not, when a child is raped or molested it does have an effect on them. Those effects may be less pronounced or more repressed. But they’re still present. People end up sometimes having difficulty relating to people (problems with social adjustment) especially when comes to romantic relationships. Sometimes people live in a state of denial and refuse to believe they’re having issues so a very small problem dealing with the abuse turns huge after denying it exists for so long. The only reason why you would find nothing wrong with an adult taking advantage or a child sexually is if you were groomed to be ok with it and brainwashed by other pervs to believe its ok. It’s sick. Adults who prey on the innocence of kids is sick. It was a sick situation that happened to you (tedmikedmike) no matter how you or other men try to justify it.

  • Stella

    Thanks for your honesty.

    The sad thing is that a lot of women don’t blame the girls and women who molest boys. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why any woman reading your story would thumb you down.

  • Nat

    Thanks for sharing this…more people need to know this is happening in more places than we’d like to believe. Nothing will change unless awareness is spread, to start.

  • David

    My alter ego had sex with sister when He was 7 and she was 15. My alter ego knew nothing about sex; his dick did not even get hard. Today, alter ago realized he was raped or used to quench a carnal desire of a sexually aroused older sister. Many young boys are raped just Chris Brown was.

  • Arella Swan

    I was saying the same thing after reading that interview to think that its okay to loose your virginity at 8 is crazy. This article speaks so much truth…I swear you all stay in my head.

  • Nikkoli


    I’m still waiting for an answer to a question I previously asked…

    You’d be ok with your 8 yr old having sex with a 14/15 year old? Is that something you condone?

    If so, please let me have the information for your midwife “business” so I can let authorities know. Because I remember you mentioning a while ago that’s what you specialize in…

  • Nikkoli


    But you keep on coming back to comment…

    so, you, as the owner of midwivesofcolor dot com…

    you still won’t say if you condone 8 yr olds having sex… it.


  • Casmir Patterson

    Lil wayne was raped too at age 11. he talks about it in The Carter Documentary that was never release because of controversy between him and QD3

  • The Truth

    Molestation of prepubescent black boys needs to be addressed. It needs to be seen and talked about. Some twisted notion of machismo does not justify what is really happening. It’s sad.

  • thenewobjective

    Agreed, and molestation of children more generally. The results of such trauma impact the rich as well. I recall reading an article about gang violence in LA country (coded as passive suicide, ie going out looking to get shot, unconsciously) which linked it to molestation.

  • Anthony

    Several months ago, there was an article on Clutch about a black teacher who in jail for sleeping with school boys. I said that when grown women have sex with boys, they totally undermine boy’s respect for women. I.E. if a boy can see his teacher was just another “freak,” how is he going to respect any woman? Some said I was trying to blame women for misogyny, I think a lot of the men who have posted are showing just how unhealthy early sex (rape) is.

    I wonder if these sorts of relationships between boys and older women have much deeper roots than we realize. I know an uncle of mine had a child by a much older woman when he was a teen in the rural South nearly sixty years ago. I also think.of polygamous societies where young girls may end up as the second or third wife of a much older man. I wonder if they took younger boys when they were in a position to do so?

  • geenababe

    I don’t know what to say . It’s just so disturbing to me.

  • The Other Jess

    I don’t even know who those people are, Mimi. But if your definition of being f*ed is defending Black women, then you’re the one who’s truly F*ED IN THE HEAD.

    Guess what? Obviously Chris Brown came from a messed up background – so did the Cleveland, Ohio kidnapper and rapist Ariel Castro – but their messed up backgrounds in no way excuse their actions taken against women.

    Stop excusing and coddling this abuser because of his background and simply because you’re afraid to speak out against ANY Black man.

    LL Cool J’s father SHOT his mother and grandfather and left them for dead, all done in front of LL when he was a child. And I have yet to hear of Uncle L hurting anybody. Oprah was RAPED as a child by her uncles and she did not turn around and beat down people around her. And if she did, y’all would have ZERO sympathy for her and her background of being raped.

    FACE IT – You’re a hater of Black women and feel the need to coddle Black men simply because they are Black men – you don’t judge them based on their quality, all you care is that you are too afraid to speak out against those who have wronged Black women.

    Chris Brown does not get a pass – there is no excuse for his behavior, no matter what brain dead idiots like you choose to continue to spew.

    Thumbs me down ALL DAY.

  • The Other Jess

    I think you need to go away Tedmikedmike. I’m a Black woman commenting on a Black woman’s site . Why don’t you go find site geared towards men topost your inane and pointless opinions since you have a problem with a woman’s perspective.

  • The Other Jess

    Funny how when I spoke in favor of Trayvon Martin,it was OK, but when I speak out against no-good beat ‘em-down-Brown, I hate Black men. Getthef*ckouttahere with that ignorance. Some of you want to make all black men saints – well guess what? They’re not!

  • Ambrosia Jones

    Brad, let me jump in and help out:

    bdsm, he was talking to YOU. YOU are the rape apologist. To make any sort of argument that an eight year old child has the mental, physical, or emotional maturity to consent to sex, as you have CONTINUOUSLY done throughout this thread, is beyond disturbing and most certainly meets the definition of rape apology.

    Your thought process sickens me and I only hope you have no contact with children until you can understand and accept your flawed and deeply distorted thinking.

  • Ambrosia Jones

    Dang it, I misspelled your screen name: *dbsm. But you know I’m talking to you.

  • Ambrosia Jones

    But-but-but I thought children can express themselves sexually through consensual intercourse? And it’s only rape to us oppressed, puritanical adults? You mean you, the wise, oh-so-sexually-progressive dbsm actually WONDERED if a 14 year-old could have been raped by an eight year-old?

    Lady, you are so sick, disturbed, and confused, even you can’t keep your own bullshit rape apologetics straight. Unbelievable.

  • Anthony

    @Anthony, obviously societies where girls are sold off as wives to men at least their father’s age have some terrible issues with male sexism and patriarchy.

  • Birch Barlow

    I meant to upvote Ambrosia, I didn’t even touch the incorrect button, I don’t know what happened.

  • Birch Barlow

    It was you, wasn’t it?

  • Treece


    “That which you describe may be common, but it is a generalization that is not applicable to every person in every situation.”

    I hope you believe these same lame ass excuses if someone rapes or molests your child and they decide to speak them to you after he/she is raped (statutory or not) at 8 years old. “He/She consented to it, and after all, it’s a generalization that all kids are negatively affected by child rape and molestation. He/she may turn out fine”. Would you accept that if it were YOUR child some perv had sex with (consentually or not)?

    When a child is introduced to sexual behavior too young, it is almost certain (yes, ALMOST. Nothing isn’t 100%) that they will be affected and it’s usually negatively. Given your argument, I can feed pieces of raw chicken off of the floor to a kid and when someone tells me it’s unsafe I could say, “Well, you are assuming my child’s immune system is like everyone else’s and manipulating him to victimhood. He may turn out just fine!”

    But whatever, I’m finished with you and I hope you don’t have kids. If you do, God help them. Peace out.

  • Anthony

    @dbsm, I know kids fooling around is nothing new. Posting pictures of oneself performing sex acts is new and I think very unhealthy.

  • Mysti

    It’s deep that you bring up the “little man” thing. I hear so many women, sometimes single mothers, calling their sons their little man. And putting up pics on facebook describing him as “sexy.” There is a problem in our community. Its roots are deep, but we have to do something about it!

  • Mysti

    My husband just looked up the scene. What kind of SICK person makes their child do such an explicit scene. It wasn’t even like an “under the covers, you ain’t really naked scene!! That broke my heart…that the father instructed him to do it! All of these accounts you all are sharing break my heart.

  • Minding

    Violence and abuse that’s been normalized is still wrong.

  • Real Talk

    Lil Wayne is another one that was “raped” by a woman when he was a kid.

  • Real Talk

    I lost my virginity at 11 years old to a 17 yr old chick from around the way. I didn’t know anything about sex…She basically just put it on me. Now I think About it I was “raped” too…I didn’t think about it like that then..I was confused and scared but I didn’t think it was rape because it seems only women are allowed to be raped in this world. I know MANY Black men (more than most would like to admit) that were taken advantage of by older black women. It’s sad and immoral..Double standards!

  • Real Talk

    Damn…I just realized I got raped tonight. I’m 25 years and only just realized I was a victim of rape…I kinda feel like I’ve had a weight lifted off of my shoulders. I also think that it is the reason I had such a disdain for Black women all these years (even though I’ve only ever dated black women lol). I treated a lot of beautiful black women like shit.. I think that whenever I looked at them I was looking at the woman that took advantage of me.

    Shit….Maybe I need therapy too

  • CottonHead Cutie

    The title of this article was the first thing that came to my mind when I first read the interview too. We have to do a much better job of protecting and teaching our children. This is really said that he doesn’t even fully realize what happened to him, and people are giving him props like he’s the man.

  • Fujun

    O.m.g. Thank youuu! I am so tired of people trying to shame Black women into supporting Black male celebrities and politicians who have a history of abusing Black women. I wish he would get some therapy and have a great deal of emotional and spiritual health, but can we please get this boy off the daymn cross and stop treating him as if he’s the Rodney King of R&B? This man is a victim of abuse but he also has an abusive past. I don’t have to don a cape for every Black male because they share my race. Black patriarchal males and supportive females have done nothing BUT support Chris Brown. What is RJ trippin on?! Terrance Howard,Queen Latifah (side eye),all these Black celebs were either neutural or sympathetic,and regular Black folks were siding with CB too. The Black Community does not operate from a Pro-Black, Anti-Female-Victim-Blaming perspective. Stop lying. No one is obligated to “forgive Chris Brown”.

    On topic, YES this is rape. Patriarchy teaches men to see these things as OK ,provided it was a female who raped you. It’s really disgusting and vile.

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