We’re only days away from Valentine’s Day, and most likely you’re salivating for it, dreading it or don’t care about it at all for whatever reason. Beginning at midnight on Thursday, there will be a regurgitation of Show and Tell posts on social media that may make you smile or weep, including bouquets of fresh flowers delivered to jobs, couples’ kissy-face selfies, and memes that read, “I love me enough for the both of us,” “She said ‘Yes!’” and “Jesus is my boyfriend.”
If you’re one having a panic attack or trying unsuccessfully to snag a date by the 14th, contrary to what culture says about single, you, my dear, do have options. You don’t have to fall for the hype if you don’t want to. You will live to fight another day.
I’ve seen publications post stories promoting Valentine’s Day survival kits. Really?? Why do single women need a survival guide for Valentine’s Day? It’s a second-tier holiday, not Armageddon. It’s span over a month like the holiday season. It’s 24 measly hours, and if you fall asleep (likely from medicating yourself with wine or putting in extra hours at the office), it’s only about 17 hours. I don’t advise that, by the way.
The Valentine’s Day machine, which includes media, retailers and even family and friends, sends so many mixed messages, the holiday should come with talking points and instructions.
This is the ONE day to prove your love for your partner or maybe it’s just a day, not worthy of celebrating at all. If you don’t have some semblance of a man by then, you’ve failed at life. If you do have a man, but he doesn’t roll out the red carpet for you, he’s shitty. If you’re newly dating a guy, how far is too far to go on the “special” day? How much did you or he spend on gifts? Was it too much or too little? Le sigh. Cupid doesn’t play fair at all.
I suggest that you ax the coping skills and diversions completely. I am one of countless writers who has written a “how-to guide” for Valentine’s Day, and today, I wouldn’t take much of my own advice. Don’t do these things:
Do NOT go out with your other single girlfriends (if there are any) for “dinner.” Inevitably it’ll turn into a man-bashing pity party, and that’s just not a good look for anyone involved. The goal is to remain positive throughout the day, k?
Do not look at sappy love stories. You’ve seen “Love Jones,” “Love Actually” and “Pretty Woman” at least a million times, and though they’re classics, you don’t need to compare the characters’ endings with your endings, especially when you know you really don’t want you ex anymore anyway.
Ladies, here’s the long and short of it: toughen up and DEAL. When I say “deal,” I don’t mean drown in your feelings, but certainly don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. It’s a day, and it’ll pass just like any other if we’re lucky. If what does or doesn’t happen makes you feel less than, there are far more issues to be concerned with than not having a significant other around.
Dealing also doesn’t mean that you ignore Valentine’s Day either, and act as if it doesn’t exist (as if you really could). Tell the people who really love you that you love them back. So, you didn’t score a date in time for the “big day” or get a grand proposal that will go viral? That doesn’t require a survival kit, but time, work and patience.
Throw out your survival guides and live your life just like you would any other day. Hopefully, there’s some love in it somewhere anyway. Take inventory.