When it comes to relationships between children and parents, often times people want to put focus on the positive or negative aspects between a father and daughter. Some say that if they father and daughter have a horrible relationship, that will reflect on her relationships with other men. To the contrary, if the relationship between a father and daughter is positive, then she’ll learn how to have healthy relationships with men.
But what about the relationship between a mother and daughter?
When I hear my girlfriends talk about their amazing relationships with their mothers, I can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. I listen to how some of them talk about their relationships with pride and how their mother is their “rock”.
Unfortunately, those are things I’m not familiar with.
Although I can’t say we have a bad relationship, we just don’t seem to have a good one. And never have. There has always seem to be an emotional disconnect between the two of us. Growing up there weren’t hugs, words of encouragement, or the typical mother/daughter talks. Into my teen years, I learned about my period from health class. I was never talked to about dating, I was just told “not to bring any babies around this house”.
During my college years, I was pretty much sent off to fend for myself. No support, no nothing. In my adult years, it seems as though we only talk when necessary. She’s only happy when I buy her a gift (which isn’t often), or give her something.
I joke with my friends and refer to her as “Mommy Dearest”. Sure, she wasn’t that brutal as Joan Crawford, but sometimes I felt that nothing was never good enough. And there definitely weren’t enough hugs.